[SHIT]
屎
This is arguably the back end of the design of animals.
这个可以说是动物的最终产品。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
But the reason I put this up here is because when I was in Africa last year, my wife and I were driving around, we had this wonderful guide, who showed us something that surprised both of us, and it was very revealing in terms of the fascination that comes with the design of animals. It turns out that in about the 1880s, the missionaries came to Africa to spread the word of Christianity, to teach English to the natives. And they brought blackboards and chalk. And I'd like you to imagine that that's a blackboard, and I just used some chalk on there. And they brought quite a bit of this stuff. But over the years, the blackboards were fine, but they ran out of chalk. And this is a real crisis for them.
我之所以把它放在这里是因为 当我去年和妻子在非洲溜达的时候, 我们遇见了一个很有趣的导游, 他展示了使我们都为之惊异的东西, 揭示了这来自‘动物的创造物’ 的魅力 大约在19世纪80年代,传教士来到非洲, 宣传基督教, 教当地人英语。 他们带去了黑板和粉笔。 可以想象一下,这就是一块黑板, 而我刚刚则在上面使用了粉笔。 带去的就是类似这样的东西。 经过多年,黑板都还完好 但是他们没有粉笔了。 对他们来说,这实在是一个危机啊。
And that's where the hyena comes in. The hyena is probably the most perfectly designed scavenging animal in the world. It strip-mines carcasses, and it has amazing teeth, because it enables the hyena to essentially eat bones. Now, the end product of that action is up on the board here. What the missionaries would do is, they'd walk around and they'd pick up hyena shit. And the incredible thing about hyena shit is, it makes great chalk.
正在这时,鬣狗起作用了。 鬣狗可能是世界上腐肉动物中 最完美的设计了。 他们嚼食尸体残骸,他们那惊人的牙齿 使他们可以嚼食骨头。 现在,上述行为最终产物就在这板上了。 而传教士们呢,则会到到处走走, 然后捡起鬣狗的粪便。 而鬣狗粪便的最美妙之处在于:它们能造出很好的粉笔。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
That's not what I'm here to talk about, but it is a fascinating aspect of animal design. What I'm here to talk about is the camel. When I started talking to Richard about what I was going to speak about, I had recently come back from Jordan, where I had an amazing experience with a camel.
但我却不是来说这个的, 不过这的确是“动物产品”一个很让人着迷的方面。 我来,是要谈论骆驼的。 当我和理查德说起 我将要介绍的东西时, 我刚从约旦回来, 在那里我和一头骆驼有了一段奇妙的经验。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And we were in the desert.
我们当时在沙漠里——
Richard Wurman: That's the end! Keith Bellows: Yeah, yeah.
里查德·沃曼:今天的演讲就到这里!
Keith Bellows:好,好
We were in the desert, in Wadi Rum, in a small Jeep. There were four of us, two Bedouin drivers. You can just imagine, this expanse is an ocean of sand, 105 degrees, one water bottle. And we were driving in what they told us was their very, very best Jeep. Didn't look like it to me. And as we started to go through the desert, the Jeep broke down. The guys got out, they put the hood up, they started working under the hood, got it going again. About a hundred yards, it broke down. This went on about 6-7 times, we were getting more and more alarmed, we were also getting deeper and deeper into the desert.
我们正在沙漠里,在月亮峡谷,一辆小吉普车上, 当时有4个人,两个贝多因司机 你可以想象,这广阔的沙的海洋: 105度,只有一瓶水。 而我们正驾驶着他们所谓的 最最好的吉普车。当然我不这么觉得。 当我们开始准备穿越沙漠时,吉普车发生故障了, 他们支起铁箍 开始修理, 在让吉普又行驶了100码之后,车再次坏了 这一过程重复发生了六七次。 我们变得越来越慌, 我们也进入沙漠也越来越深。
And eventually, our worst nightmare happened: they flooded the engine. And they said, "Ah, no problem! We just get out and walk." And we said, "We get out and walk?" One water bottle, remember, guys, four people. And they said, "Yeah, yeah, we'll walk. We'll find some camels." We got out and walked, and sure enough, about half a mile, we came over the crest of this hill, and there was a huge gathering of Bedouin with their camels. The guy went up and started dickering, and 10 dollars later, we had four camels. They went down like elevators; we got on them. They went back up, and the Bedouin, each Bedouin, four of them, got behind each of the camels with a little whip. And they started slashing away at the back of the camels, and they started galloping. And if you've ever been on a camel, it is a very, very uncomfortable ride. There's also one other aspect about these camels. About every 10 steps, they lean back and try to take a chunk out of your leg.
最终,最可怕的恶梦发生了: 引擎熄火了。 于是他们说:“啊,没关系!我们可以下车步行。” 然后我们说:“我们下车步行?” 只有一瓶水——同志们啊——有四张嘴。 他们说:“是的是的,我们步行吧。我们会找到一些骆驼的。” 于是,我们下了车步行,果然, 大概半英里,我们来到了山顶, 那里有一大群贝多因人还有他们的骆驼。 他们前去交易, 付了10美元, 换来4头骆驼。 骆驼们像升降机一样降低,我们骑上去,它们再升上去。 然后这4个贝多因人,每个都, 在骆驼后面装了小鞭子。 然后他们开始鞭打骆驼后面, 骆驼们就开始飞奔了。 如果你曾骑过一头骆驼, 就会知道那有多不舒服了。 关于这些骆驼的另一点就是, 差不多每走10步,它们就向后倾斜, 试图从你腿上除去一大块肉。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
So we kept on going, and this camel kept on trying to take a chunk out of my leg. And eventually, three miles later, we arrived at our destination, where a Jeep was supposed to meet us. And the camels come down again like elevators, we sort of clumsily get off, and they, obviously, try to take another chunk out of my leg. And I've developed a very wonderful relationship with this creature by this point, and I've realized that this is a mean son of a bitch. And much meaner, by the way, than the Bedouin who greeted me and tried to sell me one of his 26 daughters to take back to the States.
我们继续前行, 这骆驼也继续努力试图去掉我腿上的肉。 最终,走了3英里后,我们到达了目的地, 一辆吉普车在那里接我们。 于是这些骆驼又像升降机一样下降, 我们笨拙地下来, 而他们,很显然,又尝试从我腿上除去另外一块肉。 到此时,我已经和这个生物建立了 一段美妙的关系。 我意识到,它真不是什么好东西, 而且比那个迎接我的贝多因人还要难相处, 那个想把他26个女儿之一嫁给我, 并把她带回美国的人。
So as we talked, Richard and I, I said, "You know, maybe I should bring a camel. It's the best designed animal in the world." He went, "Nah. I don't think we want to be bringing a camel." And you should be really glad we decided not to bring the camel. So I did the next best thing. I went to the Washington Zoo. Richard said, "I want you to get up close and personal with this camel. I want you to inspect its mouth, look at its teeth. Go underneath it. Go above it. Go around it. Pull its tail up; take a look in there. I want you to get as close to that camel as you possibly can."
正当我们——理查德和我,交谈时, 我说:“也许我该带回来一头骆驼, 我觉得它是世界上动物界中最完美的设计。“ 然后他回应道:“不,我不觉得人们希望这么做。” 你们真该感谢我决定不把骆驼带过来, 我做了接下来要说的这件好事。 我去了华盛顿动物园。理查德说: “我希望你可以近距离接触这头骆驼。 我希望你观察它的嘴,它的牙齿。 看它的上面、下面,绕着它走。 拉起尾巴,看看里面 我希望你可以尽你所能地接近它。“
So, I got a National Geographic film crew. We went down there, and I took one look at this camel. It is a 2,000 pound creature who is in rut.
所以我找来国家地理摄影组,我们去到那里, 看了看这头骆驼。 这是一头2000磅的骆驼,它正在发情期。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Now, if you've ever seen a 2,000 pound camel in rut, it is a scary, scary thing to behold. And if Richard thought I was getting in the ring with that camel, someone was smoking Bedouin high grade.
如果你曾经看到过一头处在发情期又重2000磅的骆驼, 你就知道这有多恐怖了。 如果理查德认为我想和那骆驼搭上关系, 那有人就要在贝多因狠狠抽烟了。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
So we got as close to it as possible, and I'm going to share this. Chris, if you want to roll this film. Then I'm going to show you a little bit more about the design of camels.
所以我们努力接近它, 接下来我要和你们分享这段。克里斯,请播放视频 下面我会更多地向你们展示 骆驼的设计。
Do you want to roll the film?
请放
(Adventure music)
(Video) Hello. This is Keith Bellows with the TED National Geographic Camel Investigation Unit. I'm here to look at the ultimate desert machine.
嗨,我是 Keith Bellows, 正和国家地理调查组在一起。 我是来这看看终极沙漠机器的。
(Music continues)
Keith Bellows: And you'll note I started chewing gum because I was around this camel all day.
你们可以发现我开始嚼口香糖,
(Video) That's it, OK. No! See, now he's getting a little overexcited. So we'll need to be very careful around him. Don't let him get you. Now, you can see copious amounts of saliva in there. I always called myself the unstable stable boy. Their nose, you can see his nose is flared right now. When they're in rut, they're similar to seals in the way, like, a seal has to open its nose to breathe. And they're similar. They have to consciously open their nose.
因为我已经呆在这骆驼边上一整天了。 专职饲养员:就是这样!不!看,它现在有点亢奋了。 所以我们在它边上时必须非常小心。千万别让它废掉你。 现在你可以看到它嘴里有大量的唾液。 我称自己“不安分的稳健牛仔” 它们的鼻子——你可以看到它的鼻孔张开。 它们发情的时候,很像海豹 海豹需要张开鼻孔呼吸,在这方面 它们是相似的。它们有意识地张开鼻孔。
KB: Ears?
至于耳朵?耳朵很小。不过它们听力很好。
SK: They are small. But they have excellent hearing. But not big; for instance, in zebras, they have a huge ear that's very mobile, so they can actually turn them both around. And they use them in the same way we use our binocular vision. They use that to pinpoint sound. The desert's extremely windy as well as being very cold. So not only do they have the very long eyelashes, but there's the secondary -- I guess you'd call it the [unclear] or whatever. It's this hair that's above the eyes, and below it, it's longer.
耳朵算不上大,举例来说,斑马的耳朵很大。 非常灵活,所以可以转动 它们就像我们用眼睛一样用耳朵 所以它们可以用耳朵定位声音来源 沙漠风沙很大,也很寒冷。 所以它们不只有长睫毛和 还有双重,随便你叫它什么了(应该是双重眼睑) 就是眼睛上部的毛,还有下部的毛,更长些
Most people think that the humps store water. They don't. They store fat. Now, I'm not a chemist, but basically what happens is the fat is oxidized by their breathing. And that will turn it into actually usable water. Like a lot of predators, they walk on their toes. But there's a big fat pad in there that squishes out. They're like sun shoes, but, you know, with sand. Hooves? They don't have traditional hooves, but they do have one, like, big nail.
很多人认为驼峰是储水的 其实不是的,它们是储存脂肪的。 虽然我不是化学家,不过基本上原理就是 储存的脂肪通过呼吸被氧化 从而产生可用的水分。 像很多食肉动物一样,它们用脚走路 不过脚下有肉垫, 就像太阳鞋(一种品牌沙滩凉鞋)。 蹄?它们没有传统的蹄, 不过有一个大蹄甲。
(Audience laughter)
你看不太清楚,因为毛遮住了。
You can't really see too clear. The fur's kind of grown over. But they use their tails a lot, especially in rut. He will urinate and spin his tail to spread the urine around and make him more attractive. I don't know why that would be, but it works for them. So, what the hell.
不过它们常用到尾巴,特别是在发情的时候。 它会撒尿然后旋转它的尾巴 将尿到处撒 这会让它更有吸引力。 我是不知道为什么会那样,不过对他们来说是有效的, 所以,管它呢。
(Audience laughter)
Now, they will also defecate in certain areas. Generally, they poop wherever they want to, but during their rut, they will defecate in perimeter areas. I don't know if you've read or heard about the sub-sonic sounds from elephants, you know what I mean, like, "Br-r-r!" These big, big rumbling sounds. He will do the same thing. You can actually see, right here, it will vibrate. We weigh our animals. Unfortunately, he's a very aggressive animal, so he's actually destroyed some of the scales. We had these big things that I weigh the bison on, for instance. I'm guessing that he's at least 1,600 pounds. But I would put him closer to 2,000. He's basically a walking mulch pile. We're kind of like buds, but I'm also a male as well.
它们会在某些地方排便 一般情况下,它们在任何它们想的地方排, 不过在发情期,它们会在周边区域内排便。 不知道你有没有听说过大象的亚音 知道我在说啥吧,像 “Brr-r-r!”一样的 巨大的隆隆声。它会做一样的事情。 实际上,你可以看到,就在这里,它会震动。 我们会替动物称重。 不幸的是,它很有攻击性。 所以它已经毁了几个秤了。 我们有这种专用巨型体重秤,用来对付好比野牛这样的大家伙。 我猜这这头骆驼至少有1600磅重。 可能接近2000磅了。 它实际上就是一个行走的松土机。 我们都挺喜欢花苞的,虽然我和它都是雄性
KB: He sees you as competition? Senior Keeper: Yeah, exactly. And it makes him very dangerous at this time of year. Don't even think about it. Don't think about it!
这让它在每年这个时候变得危险。 不要想,想都不要想!
But now, we're going to meet. Out! Out! Out! No. Out!
现在,我们将要见面,外面 外面! 不 外面!
(Music)
(Applause)
(掌声)
KB: What I didn't show you was, you got that swinging thing going? Well, and you're glad I didn't show you this. One of the other things about the camel's beautiful design is that its penis points backwards. That way the camel can dip its tail in the stream, and just whacker the entire area around him. And that's how he really marks his territory. Now, what you also didn't see was that -- and you may have noticed in the pen beside him and, by the way, the camel's name is Suki. In the pen beside him is Jasmine. Jasmine has been his mate for some time. But on this particular occasion, it was very, very clear that as horny as Suki was, Jasmine was having none of it. And so we started thinking. Well, if poor old Suki is in search of a mate, what would Suki do to find the perfect mate?
我没给你们看的是——记得那个旋转的尾巴么? 你们会庆幸我没给你们看的。 另一项有关于骆驼的美好设计就是 它的阴茎是向后的。 所以它可以用尾巴蘸精液 然后重击它周围的整个区域。 那也是它标记它领土的方式。 同样你也没看见的是—— 你可能已经注意到在它边上的围栏—— 顺道一提,这骆驼叫Suki 在它边上围栏里的那头叫Jasmine。 Jasmine 是它的母亲。 不过在这个特殊时刻,很明显地, 像Suki这么饥渴的 我们开始思考, 如果可怜的Suki正在寻找配偶, 为了找到一个合适的配偶,它会做什么呢?
I'm going to show you another film. But before I do, I just want to mention that this animal truly is a sort of the SUV of the sand, the ship of the desert. It's so vital to the inhabitants of the areas in which the camel is found, largely Mongolia and Sahara, that there are 160 words in Arabic to describe the camel. And if this is a creature that was designed by committee, it's certainly been like no committee I've ever been on. So here's what Suki would do in search of a mate. Can you roll it, please?
所以我接下来要给你们看另一段视频。 播放之前,我想要提一下, 它实在是某种程度上的沙上的SUV; 沙漠之舟。它对那些地方的居民实在是 非常重要(大部分在蒙古和撒哈拉沙漠) 以至于,阿拉伯语有160种对骆驼的称呼。 如果这种生物是某委员会设计的, 我肯定没有参与过那个委员会。 Suki在寻找配偶时,是这样做的: 放片,谢谢~
Camel seeking camel Lusty beast desires attractive and sincere mate. I'm seven feet, 2,000 lbs., with brown hair and eyes, long legs -- and I'm very well ... hung. I'm TED Camel. The perfect desert machine. I'm smartly designed. Eyelashes that keep out sand and a third eyelash that works like a windshield wiper. A distinguished nose -- with nostrils lined to filter out sand and dust and a groove that catches moisture. Amazingly full lips -- that allow me to eat practically anything that grows. Callouses on my knees that let me kneel comfortably. Leathery chest pads that beat the heat. Short fur that keeps my skin cool. Long legs that allow heat to escape. And my hump? Ogden Nash once wrote: "The camel has a single hump; the dromedary two, or else the other way around. I'm never sure. Are you?" Here's a hint: Bactarian. Dromedary. My hump contains up to 80 lbs. of fat, but doesn't store H2O. I'm built to last. I'm the go-to animal when the oasis is dry. I usually won't sweat until my body reaches 105 ºF, enough to fry an egg. I'm able to lose 40% of my weight without dying. (Most animals would if they lost half that much.) I'll drink 5 to 7 gallons of water a day. But go without for more than a month. I'm powerful. Able to pack up to 400 lbs. of cargo. Outrun a horse -- And cover 26 miles on a good day. Camelot. Jackie O. once said that traveling by camel made riding an elephant seem like taking a jet plane. Yet my large, soft feet allow me to navigate sand. (Is that why the Bedouin claim I can dance?) I'm a good provider, too. Bedouins call the camel the Gift of God. No surprise. Tents and rugs are made of my hair. My dried bones are prized as a sort of ivory. My dung is burned as fuel. My milk is used for cheese. "Camels are like angels," a Bedouin once said.
本骆驼正在找寻另一半的它 精力充沛的我期待着迷人而真诚的她 俺高7英尺,重2000磅,拥有棕色的毛发,修长的四肢…… 而且,俺有巨根! 我就是TED骆驼 沙漠中的利器 俺就是睿智设计的体现 又长又厚的睫毛就像雨刷, 阻挡了风沙 一个与众不同的鼻子…… 搭配过滤沙尘的鼻孔…… 还有专门储水的水囊(胃) 性感厚唇…… 使俺可以吃任何植物。 俺有坚硬的膝盖,即使跪低都很舒服。 强韧的胸垫抵御酷热。 短毛使我保持冷静 长腿驱散炎热 我的驼峰? 奥尔登.纳什(美国诗人)曾这么写道: “骆驼有一个驼峰,单峰驼两个 或者双峰驼一个?我一直无法搞清,你呢? 给你点提示: (?) 单峰骆驼 我的驼峰可以储存80磅脂肪,不是水哦 我耐力强 当绿洲干枯,我就是救星 不到105华氏度我就不流汗 那温度都可以煎蛋了 即使是减重40% 我依旧顽强地活着 大部分动物就算光是做到我一半的程度就挂了 我一天可以饮5到7加仑水 接下来一个多月不再喝都可以 我是强大的! 可以负重400磅 的货物 跑得比马快…… 状态好时日行26英里 [此图为杰奎琳,美国的媒体经常把肯尼迪担任总统的时期比作Camelot(其妻杰奎琳可能是第一个这样比喻的)] 杰奎琳 曾这样说:骑着骆驼行走 会让人觉得骑大象就像坐喷气飞机。 但我巨大而柔软的足,使我可以在沙中行走 可能那就是为啥贝多因人称我可以跳舞了吧? 我还是一个很好的供应者 贝多因人称我们为上帝的礼物。 不必惊奇 我的毛可以做帐篷和地毯 我风干后的骨头珍贵如象牙 我的粪便燃烧可以做燃料。我的乳汁可以做奶酪。 “骆驼就像天使”一个贝多因人曾这样说过
(Applause)
(掌声)
Thank you. I just want to leave you with one last thought, which is probably the most important thing to take away. Humans, the animal, are pretty lucky creatures because, by and large, we really don't have to adapt to our environment; we adapt our environment to us. And we've seen that repeatedly through this conference, not just this year, but in past years. But this creature that you've just seen ultimately adapts, and keeps adapting and adapting. I think when you look at the animal kingdom, that is one of the most remarkable things. It doesn't have an environment that adapts to it; it has to adapt to the environment.
谢谢。最后我要留给大家一个思考问题, 以下哪样最值得带走: 人类--动物--是幸运的生物,因为大体上来说, 我们不用适应环境, 我们让环境适应我们。 这是从过往TED演讲中,我们一次又一次体会到的, 不只今年,还有去年。 但刚刚我们所见到的生物, 它最终却让自己适应环境,而且还在不断改变自己去适应。 当你看着动物界的时候, 这就是其中一个卓越的发现。 它不需要一个被改造的环境; 而是,它主动去适应这个环境。
Ricky, thank you very much for having me.
Ricky,谢谢你邀请我。
RW: That's terrific. Thank you.
RW:精彩,谢谢。