[SHIT]
糞
This is arguably the back end of the design of animals.
これは間違いなく動物の最終工程のデザインでしょう
(Laughter)
(笑)
But the reason I put this up here is because when I was in Africa last year, my wife and I were driving around, we had this wonderful guide, who showed us something that surprised both of us, and it was very revealing in terms of the fascination that comes with the design of animals. It turns out that in about the 1880s, the missionaries came to Africa to spread the word of Christianity, to teach English to the natives. And they brought blackboards and chalk. And I'd like you to imagine that that's a blackboard, and I just used some chalk on there. And they brought quite a bit of this stuff. But over the years, the blackboards were fine, but they ran out of chalk. And this is a real crisis for them.
この言葉を書いた理由はこうです 昨年妻とアフリカでドライブをしました 素晴らしいガイド付きです 私たちが驚いたのは 普段知る事のない魅力的な 動物のカタチについてです 1880年頃 宣教師がアフリカにやって来て キリスト教の教えと 英語を現地人に教えました 彼らは黒板とチョークを持参しました 例えばこれが黒板だとすると このようにチョークで何かを書く 彼らは ずいぶんたくさん持って行きました 数年経ち 黒板には問題ありませんが チョークがなくなりました 彼らにとっては重大な事です
And that's where the hyena comes in. The hyena is probably the most perfectly designed scavenging animal in the world. It strip-mines carcasses, and it has amazing teeth, because it enables the hyena to essentially eat bones. Now, the end product of that action is up on the board here. What the missionaries would do is, they'd walk around and they'd pick up hyena shit. And the incredible thing about hyena shit is, it makes great chalk.
ここでハイエナの出番です ハイエナは世界で 最も完璧に設計された 腐肉食の動物でしょう 死骸をほじくる 頑丈な歯を持ちます この歯で骨までも食べるのです その食べた結果が黒板の上に使われるのです 宣教師は歩き回り ハイエナの 糞を集めたのです 何とハイエナの糞で良いチョークが作れるからです
(Laughter)
(笑)
That's not what I'm here to talk about, but it is a fascinating aspect of animal design. What I'm here to talk about is the camel. When I started talking to Richard about what I was going to speak about, I had recently come back from Jordan, where I had an amazing experience with a camel.
本題はこの事ではなく 魅力的な動物のカタチです 今日はラクダの話をします リチャードと スピーチの題材を相談しました 最近ヨルダンに行ってきたのですが そこでラクダについての驚くべき経験をしました
(Laughter)
(笑)
And we were in the desert.
砂漠にいたのですが…
Richard Wurman: That's the end! Keith Bellows: Yeah, yeah.
(リチャード) それで話は終わりだろ (キース) 分かってる
We were in the desert, in Wadi Rum, in a small Jeep. There were four of us, two Bedouin drivers. You can just imagine, this expanse is an ocean of sand, 105 degrees, one water bottle. And we were driving in what they told us was their very, very best Jeep. Didn't look like it to me. And as we started to go through the desert, the Jeep broke down. The guys got out, they put the hood up, they started working under the hood, got it going again. About a hundred yards, it broke down. This went on about 6-7 times, we were getting more and more alarmed, we were also getting deeper and deeper into the desert.
ワディ・ラムの砂漠をジープで走っていました 遊牧民の運転手2名と計4人で 広大な砂の海を走る所を想像してください 気温40度 水のボトルは一本 ドライブ中に彼らは言いました このジープは頑丈だと 私にはそう見えませんでしたが 砂漠を走り始めると ジープが故障したんです ガイドが降りてボンネットを開け 修理をして直しました しかし90メートル走った所でまた故障 これを6、7回繰り返しました どんどん不安になる中 砂漠の奥へと進んで行ったのです
And eventually, our worst nightmare happened: they flooded the engine. And they said, "Ah, no problem! We just get out and walk." And we said, "We get out and walk?" One water bottle, remember, guys, four people. And they said, "Yeah, yeah, we'll walk. We'll find some camels." We got out and walked, and sure enough, about half a mile, we came over the crest of this hill, and there was a huge gathering of Bedouin with their camels. The guy went up and started dickering, and 10 dollars later, we had four camels. They went down like elevators; we got on them. They went back up, and the Bedouin, each Bedouin, four of them, got behind each of the camels with a little whip. And they started slashing away at the back of the camels, and they started galloping. And if you've ever been on a camel, it is a very, very uncomfortable ride. There's also one other aspect about these camels. About every 10 steps, they lean back and try to take a chunk out of your leg.
そして ついに最悪の事態になりました オーバーフローです 彼らは「問題ない歩いて行ける」と 驚きました 4人で水はたったの一本です 彼らは「大丈夫ラクダを見つけるよ」と 我々は車を降りて歩きました 800メートル歩き 丘の頂上に着くと 大勢の遊牧民とラクダがいました ガイドが彼らと取引をし 10ドルで4頭のラクダを手に入れました エレベーターのように体をかがめたラクダに乗りました 4人の遊牧民はそれぞれ ラクダの後ろでムチを打ちました 背中にムチを打つ事でラクダを出発させるのです ラクダは全速力で走り始めました ラクダの背中に乗った事ありますか? とても 乗り心地が悪いものです このラクダには特徴がありまして 10歩 歩くごとに後ろを振り返って 乗り手の足を噛もうとするんです
(Laughter)
(笑)
So we kept on going, and this camel kept on trying to take a chunk out of my leg. And eventually, three miles later, we arrived at our destination, where a Jeep was supposed to meet us. And the camels come down again like elevators, we sort of clumsily get off, and they, obviously, try to take another chunk out of my leg. And I've developed a very wonderful relationship with this creature by this point, and I've realized that this is a mean son of a bitch. And much meaner, by the way, than the Bedouin who greeted me and tried to sell me one of his 26 daughters to take back to the States.
進めば進むほど 足を噛もうとするんです 5キロ進んだ所で目的地に着き そこにジープがある予定でした ラクダはエレベーターのように体をかがめて 私たちはぎこちなく降りました また足を噛もうとするんです 私はラクダとこの時までに素晴らしい関係を 築く事ができました 気付きました この生き物はイジワルだと 私を歓迎するや 自分の26人の娘の 1人をアメリカに連れて行けと 押し付けようとした 遊牧民よりずっとイジワルです
So as we talked, Richard and I, I said, "You know, maybe I should bring a camel. It's the best designed animal in the world." He went, "Nah. I don't think we want to be bringing a camel." And you should be really glad we decided not to bring the camel. So I did the next best thing. I went to the Washington Zoo. Richard said, "I want you to get up close and personal with this camel. I want you to inspect its mouth, look at its teeth. Go underneath it. Go above it. Go around it. Pull its tail up; take a look in there. I want you to get as close to that camel as you possibly can."
リチャードに言いました 「ラクダを連れてこよう 世界的にも優れた特徴を持つ動物だよ」と 彼は「ラクダを連れてくるのはどんなもんか」と 連れて来なくて本当に良かったと思っています 折衷案として ワシントン動物園に行きました リチャードは「ラクダの近くに行って 仲良くなって 口の中や歯の様子を観察し 下にもぐったり 上に乗って ラクダの全体を見て シッポを持ち上げて そこを見て 出来る限りラクダの近くに行って欲しい」と
So, I got a National Geographic film crew. We went down there, and I took one look at this camel. It is a 2,000 pound creature who is in rut.
ナショナル・ジオグラフィックのスタッフを引き連れ 動物園に行きました 900キロもある発情期のラクダです
(Laughter)
(笑)
Now, if you've ever seen a 2,000 pound camel in rut, it is a scary, scary thing to behold. And if Richard thought I was getting in the ring with that camel, someone was smoking Bedouin high grade.
900キロの発情期のラクダを見たことあります? 眺めるだけで恐ろしいですよ リチャードは私がラクダの柵の中に入ると思ったでしょうが 正気の沙汰ではありませんよ
(Laughter)
(笑)
So we got as close to it as possible, and I'm going to share this. Chris, if you want to roll this film. Then I'm going to show you a little bit more about the design of camels.
とにかく出来るだけ接近しました 一緒にビデオを見てみましょう クリス流してくれるかい? その後でさらに ラクダの特徴をお話します
Do you want to roll the film?
準備はいいですか?
(Adventure music)
(音楽)
(Video) Hello. This is Keith Bellows with the TED National Geographic Camel Investigation Unit. I'm here to look at the ultimate desert machine.
(ビデオ) こちらキース・ベローズ TED の ナショナル・ジオグラフィック ラクダ調査部 究極の砂漠動物を調査します
(Music continues)
(音楽)
Keith Bellows: And you'll note I started chewing gum because I was around this camel all day.
ガムを噛んでいるのは 一日中ラクダの周りに居たからです
(Video) That's it, OK. No! See, now he's getting a little overexcited. So we'll need to be very careful around him. Don't let him get you. Now, you can see copious amounts of saliva in there. I always called myself the unstable stable boy. Their nose, you can see his nose is flared right now. When they're in rut, they're similar to seals in the way, like, a seal has to open its nose to breathe. And they're similar. They have to consciously open their nose.
(ビデオ)よし それだ だめ (飼育員)ずいぶん興奮している 注意が必要です 襲われないように 大量のツバが見えるでしょう 私の事は 不安定な馬小屋ボーイと呼んでくれ 今鼻が広がっているでしょう? 発情期には鼻がオットセイのようになって 息をする時には鼻が開くんです 意識的に鼻を開けて呼吸する仕組みです
KB: Ears?
(キース) 耳は?
SK: They are small. But they have excellent hearing. But not big; for instance, in zebras, they have a huge ear that's very mobile, so they can actually turn them both around. And they use them in the same way we use our binocular vision. They use that to pinpoint sound. The desert's extremely windy as well as being very cold. So not only do they have the very long eyelashes, but there's the secondary -- I guess you'd call it the [unclear] or whatever. It's this hair that's above the eyes, and below it, it's longer.
(飼育係) 耳は小さいですが 聴力に優れています 例えばシマウマの耳は大きくて 動くので後ろにまで回す事ができるのです 双眼鏡のような働きで 正確に音の方向をつかみます 砂漠は風が強いだけでなくとても寒いです 長い睫毛があるだけでなく 第二の睫毛の様なものがあって ・・みたいな 目の上下にある長い毛がある
Most people think that the humps store water. They don't. They store fat. Now, I'm not a chemist, but basically what happens is the fat is oxidized by their breathing. And that will turn it into actually usable water. Like a lot of predators, they walk on their toes. But there's a big fat pad in there that squishes out. They're like sun shoes, but, you know, with sand. Hooves? They don't have traditional hooves, but they do have one, like, big nail.
コブには水が入っていると思われがちですが 実は脂肪です 私は化学者ではないけど 説明すると 呼吸が脂肪を酸化させるので 体に役立つ水になるんです 多くの補食動物のようにつま先で歩きます 大きな脂肪のパッドがあって 押しつぶすのです サンダルの役目をしているのです 典型的な蹄(ひづめ)はありませんが 大きな爪の様なものがあります
(Audience laughter)
(笑)
You can't really see too clear. The fur's kind of grown over. But they use their tails a lot, especially in rut. He will urinate and spin his tail to spread the urine around and make him more attractive. I don't know why that would be, but it works for them. So, what the hell.
毛に覆われていて よく見えませんね 発情期にはシッポをよく使います シッポを回しながら尿をします 尿を飛び散らすのです 魅力的に見せるそうです 何故かは分かりませんがラクダの習性です 何なんですかね
(Audience laughter)
(笑)
Now, they will also defecate in certain areas. Generally, they poop wherever they want to, but during their rut, they will defecate in perimeter areas. I don't know if you've read or heard about the sub-sonic sounds from elephants, you know what I mean, like, "Br-r-r!" These big, big rumbling sounds. He will do the same thing. You can actually see, right here, it will vibrate. We weigh our animals. Unfortunately, he's a very aggressive animal, so he's actually destroyed some of the scales. We had these big things that I weigh the bison on, for instance. I'm guessing that he's at least 1,600 pounds. But I would put him closer to 2,000. He's basically a walking mulch pile. We're kind of like buds, but I'm also a male as well.
あとは特定の場所で排便をします 通常はどこでもしますが 発情期には排便の場所があるのです ゾウの可聴音以下の声を聞いた事ありますか? ブルルっと鳴く音です ラクダもゴロゴロと大きい音を出します 振動をおこすくらいです 動物の体重を計ります このラクダは非常に攻撃的で 体重計をいくつか壊しました バイソンなどの大きな動物を計った事もあります バイソンは少なくとも720キロくらいでしょう でもこのラクダは900キロはあると思う ラクダは基本的に歩く「おがくずの山」です 俺たちは友達でもあり男同士でもあります
KB: He sees you as competition? Senior Keeper: Yeah, exactly. And it makes him very dangerous at this time of year. Don't even think about it. Don't think about it!
(キース) ライバル視される? (飼育係) そうなんだ この時期は危険になる おとなしくしろよ おとなしく!
But now, we're going to meet. Out! Out! Out! No. Out!
別のラクダを… こら! 出なさい! 出るんだ! こら 出ろ!
(Music)
(音楽)
(Applause)
(拍手)
KB: What I didn't show you was, you got that swinging thing going? Well, and you're glad I didn't show you this. One of the other things about the camel's beautiful design is that its penis points backwards. That way the camel can dip its tail in the stream, and just whacker the entire area around him. And that's how he really marks his territory. Now, what you also didn't see was that -- and you may have noticed in the pen beside him and, by the way, the camel's name is Suki. In the pen beside him is Jasmine. Jasmine has been his mate for some time. But on this particular occasion, it was very, very clear that as horny as Suki was, Jasmine was having none of it. And so we started thinking. Well, if poor old Suki is in search of a mate, what would Suki do to find the perfect mate?
ある部分をビデオではカットしてあるんです 見せなくて良かったのかも知れませんが ラクダの面白い特徴として ペニスが後ろを向いているんです 排尿時 尿をしっぽに垂らして 広範囲に散らすのです こうして自分の縄張りを広めるんです そしてもう一つお見せしなかったのですが 隣にラクダがもう一頭いました これまで紹介したラクダがスキで 隣にいたのがジャスミンです ジャスミンはスキのお相手を時々します ですが この時は明らかに スキが求めてもジャスミンは応じませんでした 私たちは考えました かわいそうなスキは 文句なしの相手をどうやって見つけるのかと
I'm going to show you another film. But before I do, I just want to mention that this animal truly is a sort of the SUV of the sand, the ship of the desert. It's so vital to the inhabitants of the areas in which the camel is found, largely Mongolia and Sahara, that there are 160 words in Arabic to describe the camel. And if this is a creature that was designed by committee, it's certainly been like no committee I've ever been on. So here's what Suki would do in search of a mate. Can you roll it, please?
別のビデオをお見せします その前に 言いたいのは ラクダはまるで砂丘のSUVです 砂漠の船のようで ラクダの暮らす地域の住人にとって 大事な存在です 主にモンゴルやサハラです アラビア語ではラクダを表現する言葉が 160もあるんです ラクダが人間の手で設計されたとしたら 尊敬に値しますね それではスキのお相手探しを見てみましょう 準備はいいですか?
Camel seeking camel Lusty beast desires attractive and sincere mate. I'm seven feet, 2,000 lbs., with brown hair and eyes, long legs -- and I'm very well ... hung. I'm TED Camel. The perfect desert machine. I'm smartly designed. Eyelashes that keep out sand and a third eyelash that works like a windshield wiper. A distinguished nose -- with nostrils lined to filter out sand and dust and a groove that catches moisture. Amazingly full lips -- that allow me to eat practically anything that grows. Callouses on my knees that let me kneel comfortably. Leathery chest pads that beat the heat. Short fur that keeps my skin cool. Long legs that allow heat to escape. And my hump? Ogden Nash once wrote: "The camel has a single hump; the dromedary two, or else the other way around. I'm never sure. Are you?" Here's a hint: Bactarian. Dromedary. My hump contains up to 80 lbs. of fat, but doesn't store H2O. I'm built to last. I'm the go-to animal when the oasis is dry. I usually won't sweat until my body reaches 105 ºF, enough to fry an egg. I'm able to lose 40% of my weight without dying. (Most animals would if they lost half that much.) I'll drink 5 to 7 gallons of water a day. But go without for more than a month. I'm powerful. Able to pack up to 400 lbs. of cargo. Outrun a horse -- And cover 26 miles on a good day. Camelot. Jackie O. once said that traveling by camel made riding an elephant seem like taking a jet plane. Yet my large, soft feet allow me to navigate sand. (Is that why the Bedouin claim I can dance?) I'm a good provider, too. Bedouins call the camel the Gift of God. No surprise. Tents and rugs are made of my hair. My dried bones are prized as a sort of ivory. My dung is burned as fuel. My milk is used for cheese. "Camels are like angels," a Bedouin once said.
恋人探しのラクダ たくましい動物は魅力的で誠実な相手を求めます 身長2メートル 体重900キロ 毛と目は茶色 長い脚 モノも立派 僕はテッド・ラクダだ 完全なる砂漠のマシーン 優れた特徴 睫毛は砂が目に入らないように 第3の睫毛は ワイパーの役目 大きな鼻 鼻孔が砂やホコリを入れないようにして 更に湿度を保つ 厚い唇で 生えているものを何でも食べられる 膝のコブは かがむ時にクッションになる 胸のパッドが熱から守る 短い毛は肌が熱くなるのを避ける 長い脚で熱を逃がす コブ? 詩人オグデン・ナッシュは言った ラクダのコブは一つ ヒトコブラクダは二つ もしくは逆かも知れない 確信を持った事はない あなたは? ヒント フタコブラクダは B ヒトコブラクダは D 僕のコブは36キロの脂肪を蓄えるけど水は蓄えない 持久力がある 僕はオアシスが乾いてる時に頼りになる 体温が40.5度になるまで 汗をかかない 体重の40%を 死なずに落とせる (ほとんどの動物は20%で死ぬ) 一日に19〜26リットルの水を飲む でも一ヵ月水なしでも生きていられる パワフルなんだ 180キロの荷物を運べて 馬より速い 一日に42キロも移動する ケネディ時代に ジャクリーン・ケネディはラクダと比べたら ゾウの旅は ジェット機みたいだと言った でも僕の大きくてソフトな脚は砂を歩くのにピッタリ (これだから 遊牧民は僕がダンスできるって言うの?) 僕はとっても役に立つ 遊牧民はラクダを「神からの贈り物」と その通りだ テントと絨毯は僕の毛で作られている 乾燥した骨は象牙のように貴重品 糞は燃料に 乳はチーズに 遊牧民は言った「ラクダは天使だ」
(Applause)
(拍手)
Thank you. I just want to leave you with one last thought, which is probably the most important thing to take away. Humans, the animal, are pretty lucky creatures because, by and large, we really don't have to adapt to our environment; we adapt our environment to us. And we've seen that repeatedly through this conference, not just this year, but in past years. But this creature that you've just seen ultimately adapts, and keeps adapting and adapting. I think when you look at the animal kingdom, that is one of the most remarkable things. It doesn't have an environment that adapts to it; it has to adapt to the environment.
ありがとう 最後に一つ 終わりを結ぶのに重要な事を言わせてください 絶えず環境に順応しているのです 動物の世界を垣間みれば 概して人間という動物はとても恵まれています 何故なら 環境に順応する必要がないからです その素晴らしさが分かります 我々は環境を順応させるのです 彼らには順応させる環境があるのではなく 私たちはテッドを通して それを学んできました 彼らが順応せねばなりません 何年もかけて リチャード 呼んでくれてありがとう
Ricky, thank you very much for having me.
私が紹介したこの動物は
RW: That's terrific. Thank you.
素晴らしかったよ ありがとう