(Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.
(音樂) 呢個係一個人類測試 睇下你係唔係人類 如果想玩下,請舉手 大家贊唔贊成? 好? 咁我地開始啦
Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.
好耐之前嘅童年裡面 你有冇試過食鼻屎? (笑聲) 冇所謂,隨便講,呢度好安全
Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?
你有冇試過諗起某樣尷尬嘅事嘅時候 細細聲發出怪聲?
Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.
你有冇試過 將一段文字嘅第一個字母轉做細階 用嚟表達傷心或者失望? (笑聲) 好
Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
你有冇試過將句號用喺段文字嘅結尾 用嚟表示敵對抵觸嘅情緒? 嗯。句號
Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.
你有冇試過當人哋同你講衰嘢嘅時候 你笑騎騎或者微笑 然後果日淨低嘅時間 都喺度諗點解你反應係咁? 無錯
Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.
你有冇試過寄存行李之後 一路行去登機口時 每行一步都驚唔見左張機票? 啱啦
Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.
你有冇試過著咗一條褲 好耐先發現 原來有一隻襪套咗上個大肶? (笑聲) 好
Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.
你有冇試過估其他人嘅密碼 不斷撞,直至撞到佢哋賬戶被人鎖咗? 嗯
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.
你有冇試過有陰魂不散嘅感覺 覺得有朝一日會俾人發現係老千? 係,呢度好安全
Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.
你有冇試過期望你擁有一啲 未被發掘嘅天賦? 嗯 有冇試過喺現實生活中做錯嘢
Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?
然後發現自己想喺現實中 搵一個「重置」鍵?
Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?
有冇試過擺錯咗你嘅 TED 徽章 然後即刻開始想像 三日嘅溫哥華假期會係點樣?
Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?
你有冇試過驚歎 點解你以前覺得平平無奇嘅人 會突然之間變得咁靚?
Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?
你有冇試過發短信嘅時候 望住手機 笑到好似個傻瓜咁? 有冇試過跟住同發短信嗰個人 講「我睇住手機笑到好似個傻瓜」咁?
Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?
你有冇好想好想 然後抵擋唔住誘惑 偷睇其他人嘅手機?
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?
有冇試過同自己講嘢 然後突然發現 自己真係個屎忽鬼?
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?
你有冇試過 喺你同人哋嘈得火熱時 手機忽然冇電 令你覺得手機同你兩個分手?
Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?
你有冇諗過 解決你哋之間嘅拗叫係徒氣嘅 因為事情本身唔複雜 定係事情容易係理所當然? 你有冇發現長遠嚟講 好少可會有容易嘅事?
Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?
你有冇試過瞓醒之後覺得好幸福 但之後諗返起有人離開咗你嘅恐佈回憶? 有冇試過想像唔到失去一個人嘅未來?
Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?
你有冇試過用秋天一樣嘅苦笑 睇返以前失去咗嘅人 然後意識到無論點樣 未來總係會嚟到?
Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.
恭喜你 你通過咗測試 你哋都係人類
(Applause)
(掌聲)