(Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.
Toto je test ľudskosti. Test na to, aby ste zistili, či ste človek. Prosím zdvihnite ruku, keď sa na vás niečo vzťahuje. Sme dohodnutí? Áno? Tak potom začnime.
Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.
Zjedli ste niekedy šušeň dávno po čase detstva? (smiech) Je to v poriadku, tu ste v bezpečí.
Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?
Vydali ste niekedy tichý, čudný zvuk, keď ste si spomenuli na niečo trápne?
Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.
Napísali ste už úmyselne malé písmeno na začiatku SMSky, aby ste pôsobili smutne alebo sklamane? (smiech) Okej.
Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
Ukončili ste niekedy SMSku bodkou ako náznak agresie? Okej. Bodka.
Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.
Zasmiali alebo usmiali ste sa niekedy, keď vám niekto povedal niečo odporné, a potom ste strávili zvyšok dňa uvažovaním nad tým, prečo ste tak reagovali? Áno.
Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.
Zdalo sa vám niekedy, že ste stratili letenku tisíckrát počas toho, ako ste kráčali od check-inu k bráne? Áno.
Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.
Obliekli ste si už niekedy nohavice a až omnoho neskôr si uvedomili, že máte na stehne ponožku? (smiech) Dobre.
Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.
Skúšali ste už uhádnuť heslo niekoho iného toľkokrát, že ste im zablokovali účet? Mmm.
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.
Mali ste už niekedy hlodavý pocit, že raz budete odhalený ako podvodník? Áno, tu ste v bezpečí.
Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.
Dúfali ste niekedy, že máte nejakú schopnosť, ktorú ste zatiaľ neobjavili a v ktorej prirodzene vynikáte? Mmm.
Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?
Pokazili ste už niečo v skutočnom živote a potom sa prichytili, ako hľadáte tlačidlo „späť" v skutočnom živote?
Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?
Stalo sa vám už, že ste zapatrošili váš TED odznak a hneď potom ste si začali predstavovať, ako by asi vyzerala 3-dňová dovolenka vo Vancouvri?
Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?
Žasli ste niekedy nad tým, ako sa niekto, o kom ste si mysleli, že je taký obyčajný, zrazu stal takým nádherným?
Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?
Čumeli ste už do svojho mobilu, usmievajúc sa ako idiot, kým ste si s niekým písali? Napísali ste následne tej osobe vetu: „Čumím do mobilu a usmievam sa ako idiot“?
Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?
Mali ste niekedy nutkanie prezrieť si mobil niekoho iného a potom ste tomuto nutkaniu podľahli?
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?
Mali ste už rozhovor sám so sebou a náhle ste si uvedomili, že sa k sebe správate ako debil?
(Laughter)
(smiech)
Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?
Došla vám už niekedy baterka na mobile uprostred hádky a mali ste tak trochu pocit, akoby sa mobil rozišiel s vami oboma?
Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?
Mysleli ste si už niekedy, že pracovať na probléme medzi vami bolo bezvýsledné, pretože to má byť jednoduchšie, alebo by sa to malo stať prirodzene? Uvedomili ste si už niekedy, že z dlhodobého hľadiska sa veľmi málo vecí deje prirodzene?
Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?
Zobudili ste sa už blažene a náhle ste boli zaplavení strašnou spomienkou, že vás opustil niekto blízky?
Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?
Stratili ste už niekedy schopnosť predstaviť si budúcnosť bez osoby, ktorá už nebola vo vašom živote? Pozreli ste sa už späť na tú udalosť so smutným úsmevom jesene a vedomím, že budúcnosť príde tak či tak?
Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.
Gratulujem. Dokončili ste test. Vy všetci ste ľudia.
(Applause)
(potlesk)