(Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.
(Musik) Ini adalah tes 'manusiawi', sebuah tes untuk mengetahui apakah anda seorang manusia. Tolong angkat tangan bila anda pernah mengalami ini. Setuju? Ya? Mari kita mulai.
Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.
Apakah anda pernah memakan upil setelah anda tumbuh dewasa? (Tertawa) Tidak apa-apa, di sini aman.
Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?
Apakah anda pernah membuat suara kecil dan aneh ketika anda teringat hal yang memalukan?
Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.
Pernahkah anda sengaja memakai huruf kecil di awal kalimat ketika mengirim sms untuk menunjukan rasa sedih atau kecewa? (Tertawa) Baiklah.
Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
Apakah anda pernah mengakhiri sebuah pesan dengan titik sebagai sebuah tanda agresi? Baiklah. Titik.
Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.
Apakah anda pernah tertawa atau tersenyum saat seseorang mengatakan sesuatu yang menyebalkan dan kemudian sepanjang hari itu berpikir mengapa anda bereaksi demikian? Ya.
Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.
Apakah anda pernah merasa kehilangan tiket pesawat seribu kali, ketika anda berjalan dari saat check-in hingga ruang tunggu? Ya.
Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.
Apakah anda pernah memakai celana dan belakangan menyadari ada sebuah kaus kaki longgar yang terjepit di paha anda? (Tertawa) Bagus.
Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.
Apakah anda pernah mencoba menebak kata sandi orang lain berkali-kali sampai akun mereka terkunci? Mmm.
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.
Apakah anda pernah merasa suatu hari orang-orang akan tahu bahwa anda seorang penipu? Ya, di sini aman.
Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.
Pernahkan anda berharap memiliki kemampuan yang belum anda temukan dan secara alami anda kuasai? Mmm. Apakah anda pernah merusak sesuatu di kehidupan nyata,
Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?
dan lalu mencari sebuah tombol "batalkan" dalam kehidupan nyata? Pernahkah anda salah menaruh lencana TED anda
Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?
dan kemudian membayangkan indahnya liburan tiga hari di Vancouver?
Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?
Apakah anda pernah mengagumi bagaimana seseorang yang anda pikir begitu biasa tiba-tiba bisa menjadi begitu cantik?
Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?
Apakah anda pernah memandangi telepon anda tersenyum seperti orang bodoh saat mengirim pesan pada seseorang? Apakah anda pernah lalu mengirimkan pesan pada orang tersebut, "Aku lagi liatin telepon, dan senyum sendiri kayak orang bodoh"?
Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?
Apakah anda pernah tergoda, dan kemudian mengikuti godaan itu, untuk melihat telepon orang lain?
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?
Apakah anda pernah bicara dengan diri sendiri dan kemudian sadar bahwa anda begitu brengsek kepada diri anda sendiri?
(Laughter)
(Tertawa)
Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?
Pernahkah baterai telepon anda tiba-tiba habis di tengah perdebatan, dan merasa seolah telepon tersebut memutuskan hubungan dengan anda berdua?
Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?
Apakah anda pernah berpikir berusaha memperbaiki masalah di antara anda berdua itu sia-sia karena seharusnya tidak serumit ini, atau seharusnya terjadi secara alami? Apakah anda pernah menyadari bahwa pada akhirnya, jarang sekali terjadi secara alami?
Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?
Apakah anda pernah terbangun dengan perasaan senang dan seketika dibanjiri oleh kenangan buruk bahwa seseorang telah meninggalkan anda?
Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?
Pernahkah anda tak lagi bisa membayangkan masa depan tanpa seseorang... ...yang sudah tak ada lagi di hidup anda? Pernahkah anda mengingat lagi kenangan itu dengan senyuman sedih musim gugur dan lalu tersadar bahwa masa depan akan tetap terjadi bagaimanapun juga?
Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.
Selamat. Anda telah menyelesaikan tes. Anda semua manusia.
(Applause)
(Tepuk tangan)