(Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.
(Glazba) Ovo je test ljudskosti, test koji će vam pokazati jeste li ljudska bića. Molim vas da podignete ruku ukoliko se nešto odnosi na vas. Jesmo li se dogovorili? Jesmo? Onda možemo početi.
Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.
Jeste li ikad pojeli šmrkalj dugo nakon vašeg djetinjstva? (Smijeh) U redu je, ovdje ste sigurni.
Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?
Jeste li ikada napravili sitan, neobičan zvuk kada ste se sjetili nečeg sramotnog?
Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.
Jeste li ikada namjerno prvo slovo poruke napisali malim slovom kako bi izgledali tužno ili razočarano? (Smijeh) U redu.
Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
Jeste li ikada završili poruku točkom kao znakom ljutnje? U redu. Točka.
Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.
Jeste li se ikada glasno nasmijali ili nasmiješili kada vam je netko rekao nešto glupo i onda proveli ostatak dana pitajući se zašto ste tako reagirali? Da.
Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.
Jeste li ikada izgubili avionsku kartu tisuću puta nakon što ste otišli s check-ina do ulaza? Da.
Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.
Jeste li ikada obukli hlače i onda mnogo kasnije shvatili da vam je izgubljena čarapa zaljepljena za bedro? (Smijeh) Dobro.
Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.
Jeste li ikada pokušali pogoditi nečiju lozinku toliko puta da ste mu zaključali račun? Mmm.
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.
Jeste li ikada bili zabrinuti da biste jednog dana mogli biti razotkriveni kao varalica? Da, sigurni ste ovdje.
Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.
Jeste li se ikada nadali da postoji neka sposobnost koju još niste otkrili, a u kojoj ste prirodno odlični? Mmm
Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?
Jeste li ikada u stvarnosti nešto pokvarili i onda se ulovili kako tražite dugme za „poništi“ u stvarnom životu?
Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?
Jeste li ikada zametnuli svoju TED značku i istovremeno počeli zamišljati kako bi trodnevni odmor u Vancouveru mogao izgledati?
Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?
Jeste li se ikada čudili nekome za koga ste smatrali da je potpuno običan, a odjednom je postao tako lijep?
Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?
Jeste li ikada zurili u svoj telefon smješkajući se poput idiota dok ste s nekime izmjenjivali poruke? Jeste li ikada nakon toga toj osobi napisali frazu „Zurim u telefon i smješkam se poput idiota“?
Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?
Jeste li ikada bili u iskušenju i na kraju popustili da pogledate u nečiji tuđi mobitel?
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?
Jeste li ikada vodili razgovor sa samim sobom i onda odjednom shvatilii da ste pravi kreten prema sebi?
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?
Je li vam se na mobitelu ikada baterija potrošila do kraja usred rasprave i imali ste osjećaj da je telefon prekinuo i s jednim i s drugim?
Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?
Jeste li ikada pomislili da je rješavanje problema među vama uzaludno jer bi jednostavno trebalo biti lakše od ovoga ili bi se trebalo dogoditi nekako prirodno? Jeste li ikada primijetili da se veoma malo toga, dugoročno gledano, jednostavno događa prirodno?
Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?
Jeste li se ikada probudili sretni i odjednom bili preplavljeni groznim sjećanjem da vas je netko napustio?
Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?
Jeste li ikada izgubili sposobnost da zamislite budućnost bez osobe koja više nije dio vašeg života? Jeste li ikada pogledali unatrag i sjetili se nekog događaja sa tužnim osmijehom i sviješću da će se budućnost desiti unatoč tome?
Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.
Čestitam. Završili ste test. Svi ste vi ljudska bića.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)