(Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.
(Muusika) See on inimlikkuse test. Test selleks, et näha, kas sa oled inimene. Palun tõsta käsi, kui miski käib ka sinu kohta. Kas oleme kokku leppinud? Hästi. Siis alustagem.
Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.
Oled sa kunagi, tükk aega pärast lapsepõlve, söönud ära kolli? (Naer) Kõik on korras. Siin on turvaline.
Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?
Oled sa kunagi teinud vaikset ja veidrat häält, kui sulle meenus midagi piinlikku?
Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.
Oled sa kunagi meelega alustanud teksti väikse tähega, et väljendada kurbust või pettumust? (Naer) Okei.
Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
Oled sa kunagi lõpetanud sõnumi sõnaga "punkt", et väljendada viha? Okei. Punkt.
Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.
Oled sa kunagi naernud või naeratanud, kui keegi ütles sulle midagi inetut ja siis mõelnud terve päev, miks sa nii reageerisid? Jah.
Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.
Oled sa kunagi jõudnud tuhat korda ära kaotada oma lennupileti ajal, mil kõndisid check-in-ist väravasse? Jah.
Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.
Kas sa oled kunagi pannud jalga teksad ning alles palju hiljem taibanud, et püksisääres on üleliigne sokk. (Naer) Hästi.
Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.
Oled sa kunagi proovinud kellegi parooli ära arvata nii mitu korda, et oled lukustanud tema konto? Mmm.
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.
On sul kunagi olnud häiriv tunne, et ühel päeval avastatakse, et oled petis? Jah. Siin on turvaline.
Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.
Oled sa kunagi lootnud, et sinus on peidus mingi loomulik anne, mida sa pole lihtsalt veel avastanud? Mmm.
Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?
Oled sa kunagi päris elus midagi katki teinud ning avastanud end siis tagasivõtu nuppu otsimas? Oled sa kunagi ajutiselt oma TED-i kaardi ära kaotanud
Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?
ja hakanud siis ette kujutama, milline võiks 3-päevane puhkus Vancouveris välja näha?
Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?
Oled sa kunagi imestanud, kuidas keegi väga tavaline järsku nii ilus tundub?
Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?
Oled sa kunagi kellelegi sõnumit saates idiootliku naeratusega oma telefoni vaadanud? Oled sa kunagi seejärel sellele inimesele kirjutanud, et vaatad idiootliku naeratusega oma telefoni?
Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?
Oled sa kunagi tundnud kiusatust heita pilku kellegi teise telefoni ning siis sellele kiusatusele järele andnud?
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?
Oled sa kunagi iseendaga vestelnud ning siis avastanud, et su vestluskaaslane on ikka täielik tolvan?
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?
On su telefonil kunagi aku keset vaidlust tühjaks saanud, nii et on jäänud tunne, nagu oleks telefon teid mõlemat maha jätnud? Oled sa kunagi mõelnud,
Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?
et seda teievahelist probleemi lahendada on mõttetu, sest see peaks olema palju lihtsam või see peaks juhtuma loomulikult? Oled sa kunagi avastanud, et on üldse väga vähe asju, mis juhtuvad loomulikult?
Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?
Oled sa kunagi ärganud täielikus õndsuses ning siis on meenunud sulle kohutav tõde, et keegi on su maha jätnud?
Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?
Oled sa kunagi kaotanud võime kujutleda tulevikku inimeseta, keda su elus enam ei ole? Oled sa kunagi mõelnud selle minevikusündmuse peale kurva naeratusega ning teadmisega, et nagunii tuleb see, mis tuleb? Õnnitlused.
Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.
Te olete testi läbinud. Te olete kõik inimesed.
(Applause)
(Aplaus)