The last time I addressed this august TED crowd was in 2019 from the main stage in Vancouver, where I was giving my first TED Talk on the case for having children. And that's where I shared the news I had just received earlier in the week that my then two-year-old daughter, Nusayba, was diagnosed with stage IV cancer and needed a full liver transplant. So how have your past three years been? As you can imagine, our last three years have been eventful. However, they have given me some tough, learned, lived experiences and lessons about this ephemeral thing we call hope. And apparently, there is a huge demand for hope right now.
瓦贾哈特·阿里:我上次为尊敬的 TED 听众发表演讲是在 2019 年, 地点是 TED 位于温哥华的主讲台。 我在那里就养育孩子问题 发表了第一次演讲。 同样是在那里,我宣布了 一条我在那周稍早时收到的消息。 我两岁的女儿努莎芭 被确诊患有癌症晚期, 需要进行全肝移植。 在过去的 3 年里, 你过得怎样? 你们可以想象, 过去的 3 年是多事之秋。 然而,我在这 3 年里, 学到、体验到了 一些严肃的经验教训, 对“希望”这种稍纵即逝的东西 有了重新认识。 现如今,人们似乎 对希望有着巨大需求。
In 2022, we're all dealing with multiple crises. A pandemic has killed 900,000 Americans, there's a partial lockdown, there's disinformation, there's income inequality, the rise of white supremacy, people telling people like me, “Go back to where you came from.” We have to learn new Greek letters every few months, and oh, yeah, there's climate change. But other than that, things are pretty peachy. And with all of that, you might be asking, “Well, then, why should we be hopeful in such hopeless times, Wajahat?” And that is a very valid question. And it's a perfectly fair question. But hope is what allowed me to believe that my daughter would somehow survive. And she did.
2022 年, 我们都在应付多重危机。 疫情已经夺去了 90 万美国人的生命, 人们还在经历局部封锁、虚假新闻、 收入不均, 白人至上的思潮开始涌动, 像我这样的人常会听到有人说: “哪儿来的,回哪儿去。” 我们每隔几个月, 就要学一些新的希腊字母, 哦,对了,还有气候变化。 但是,除此之外,事情还算顺利。 面对上述种种状况,你也许会问, “好吧,瓦贾哈,在如此绝望的 年代里,我们为何还要抱有希望呢?” 这是个合情合理的问题。 希望曾让我坚信女儿会活下来。 她的确活了下来。
And so if I may, allow me to share briefly three pieces of advice or lessons or things that we can do that gave me hope in hopeless times and that I hope can help you.
如果可以的话,我希望能与你们分享 三条建议,或者说是三个教训, 三件我们在绝望时可以做的事, 这些事让我在绝望中重获希望。 我希望这也能对你们有所帮助。
Number one. Tie your camel first. There's a great saying in Islam, many Muslims know this, that, have faith in God, but tie your camel first. As a dad, I felt utterly hopeless with Nusayba's cancer. I'm the dad, I'm supposed to fix things. But I couldn't fix cancer. Cancer plays for all the marbles. It's a relentless, brutal, remorseless killing machine. It does not care about your vacation plans. It does not care about your bucket list. It does not care about your Netflix queue. It comes for everything. Then, coronavirus. Awesome. How do I defeat coronavirus? A 41-year-old, middle-aged, slightly overweight male with flat foot. It's easy to feel helpless, out of control, adrift. But at the end of the day, try letting go of what you can't control and just focus on what you can control. The simple stuff. Wear a mask. Get vaccinated. Take care of your daily chores. Something that makes you feel that you have some control, some agency in this world. When it came to Nusayba, that meant as a dad, just to be present, you know, building her her Lego Friends set when she asked me to build it. Watching "Frozen" 39 times, then followed by "Zootopia" 46 times, then followed by "Moana" 56 times. Getting her the tasty frozen yogurt from the hospital vending machine that she loved. Do what you can the best you can. Have hope, but tie your camel first. And then be like Elsa from "Frozen" and let the rest go.
首先, “先拴住自己的骆驼”。 有一句很出名的伊斯兰谚语, 许多穆斯林都知道, 相信上帝, 不过先负起自己的职责。 作为一位父亲, 努莎芭的癌症曾让我彻底绝望。 我是父亲,我应该解决问题。 但是,我治不了癌症。 癌症试图战胜一切。 它是一台残酷无情、 永不停转的杀人机器。 癌症不会在乎你的假期安排, 不会在乎你的愿望清单, 不会在乎你在 Netflix 上想看的电影。 癌症横扫一切。 之后,又出现了新冠病毒。 “太棒了”。 我该怎么战败新冠病毒呢? 我不过是一个 41 岁、 微胖、平足的中年男人。 无助感、失控感、 与世沉浮之感,油然而生。 但是,最终, 你要试着放下那些 自己控制不了的事, 只专注于自己可以控制的事情。 比如那些简单易行的事。 戴口罩。 打疫苗。 料理日常杂务。 做一些让你觉得自己可以掌控, 可以在这个世界里 有些许影响的事情。 提到努莎芭, 这就意味着,作为一个父亲, 我要陪伴在她身边: 如果她要我给她搭 乐高好友系列,我就给她搭, 和她一起看 39 遍《冰雪奇缘》, 49 遍《疯狂动物城》, 56 遍《海洋奇缘》。 从医院的自动售货机里, 给她买她喜欢的 美味冰冻酸奶。 全力以赴,尽力而为。 心怀希望,但首先要 承担起自己的责任。 然后,就像 《冰雪奇缘》里的艾莎那样, 放下其余的一切。
Number two: invest in joy. Make the intention to actively invest in this thing called joy every day. Almost like a workout. You have to commit to it. It has to be a discipline. Build and flex that muscle. The world does not need more masochists or martyrs. It does not need more overworked, overstressed burnouts. New rule for 2022. You deserve to have moments of joy, even if they are fleeting, every day that you are alive. And you have to take those moments, you have to grab them, you have to seize them. I love food, so I learned how to cook Pakistani food, took my mom's recipes during lockdown. My kids love Lego, so that means now I love Lego. I love drinking chai. I make a cup of chai every day, it makes me happy. No matter how much stress or pain or misery I was going through, I made sure to invest time every day, to invest in things and people and experiences that gave me joy.
第二条建议是: 投资快乐。 每天都要主动积极地做 一些令人愉快的事。 就像是锻炼身体, 你必须坚持投入下去。 这就是一项训练, 锻炼强健你身上的肌肉。 这个世界不需要更多的 自虐狂或者殉道者, 不需要有更多人因为过度劳累、 过度压力而筋疲力尽。 2022 年的新规则是: 只要还活着, 每天都该享有片刻的快乐时光, 哪怕这些时光仅仅是转瞬即逝。 你必须好好把握这些时刻, 你必须抓住它,攥紧它。 我喜爱美食, 于是就学会了做巴基斯坦菜。 封城期间,我就按母亲的食谱做菜。 我的孩子喜欢玩乐高积木, 所以我现在也爱玩乐高。 我爱喝茶。 所以我每天都会沏杯茶, 这让我感到很幸福。 不论承受多大的压力, 有多少痛苦和忧伤, 我确保每天都要把一些时间花在 那些令自己幸福快乐的人和事上,
And finally, number three. I would recommend, humbly, invest in the narrative of hope because the alternative is apathy and cynicism. Investing in hope is painful. It means opening yourself up to the possibility of pain, betrayal and disappointment. It's easier to court cynicism, right? You expect nothing, so you lose nothing. But it also means you have resigned yourself to the cheap seats. You are a spectator who yells out "Boo," instead of being a participant in the ring where your nose could get bloody, but at least you're pushing the ball forward. It means choosing apathy and nihilism, which is comforting and easy, but also lazy and destructive.
最后,第三点。 我有一个很谦卑的建议: 相信充满希望的设想, 否则你会变得冷漠,且玩世不恭。 投入希望是一件痛苦的事, 因为这意味着你可能要面对痛苦、 背叛、失望等种种后果。 寻求一种玩世不恭的态度 不是更容易吗? 你没有任何期待, 也就不会有任何失落。 但是,这也意味着 你安于坐在廉价的席位上, 充当一位只会喝倒彩的观众, 而不是竞技场上的参赛选手。 在竞技场上,你也许会头破血流, 但至少可以推动赛事。 这还意味着, 选择冷漠虚无的处世态度, 虽然让人感到欣慰安逸, 但也具有惰性和破坏力。
During Nusayba's cancer, I used to sit up every night after my family went to sleep and I stayed up till, like, three or four am, I couldn't sleep. And instead I imagined, like Doctor Strange in "Avengers: Endgame," with the time stone, every possible scenario and outcome, just to prepare myself as a father. I had to emotionally prepare for every outcome. So I used to imagine Nusayba dying. I imagined burying her with my own hands. I imagined making the phone call to her grandparents, explaining that she had died, listening to them cry. I imagined living the rest of my life like a shell of a man, but pretending to put a smile on my face because I had a son to raise and now a daughter. My wife, badass that she is, was also pregnant during Nusayba's cancer. I had to be prepared. But I also chose to invest in a narrative in which Nusayba lived. And I imagined seeing her alive with a liver transplant, smiling, regaining her hair, full of joy and life. I preferred that story. That's the story I invested in, even as we were sitting on the edge of what seemed like a falling cliff, I decided I would put out the lawn chair and at least enjoy the scenery.
在努莎芭身患癌症期间, 我每晚都会在家人入睡之后坐起来, 直到凌晨三四点,都无法入睡。 我会像《复仇者联盟:终局之战》里的 奇异博士那样, 有一块时间之石, 把各种可能的情景和结果都想一遍, 做好一位父亲所应有的准备。 我必须在情感上准备好 以应付一切结果。 我曾想象过努莎芭的死亡。 想象过自己亲手埋葬她。 想象给她的祖父母打电话, 向他们解释努莎芭已经不在了, 然后听他们哭泣。 我想象过自己将像一副躯壳 一样度过余生, 但是还要强颜欢笑, 因为我还有一个儿子要抚养, 如今又多了一个女儿。 我的妻子,是个值得敬佩的人, 她在努莎芭生病期间又怀孕了。 我必须准备就绪。 但是我也努力设想 努莎芭活下来的情景。 在想象中,我见到她活着, 做了肝脏移植手术,而且在微笑, 头发又长了出来, 欢欣喜悦、活力满满, 我更喜欢这样的故事。 这是我要努力投入的故事, 即便是坐在摇摇欲坠的悬崖边时, 我也要搬出一把户外折叠椅, 至少可以享受一下眼前的风景。
Over 500 people, mostly strangers, chose to sign up to be donors for Nusayba, even people who told me they hated me for my politics. They were moved by her story. Sometimes some people can change. Sometimes some people can choose to do and be good. An anonymous donor, Shawn Zahir, decided to give a piece of his liver to a girl he never met just so she could live. I'm not Pollyanna. I'm not a foolish, wide-eyed, naive optimist. I'm a pragmatist, fully aware of the many challenges and horrors we are facing. But through my own personal experience, if it is at all helpful, I can assure you that walking through this forest of horrors, going on this journey, wherever it may lead, if you choose to invest in hope, it at least makes the ride a bit sweeter and easier. And as the wise ram tells Po in “Kung Fu Panda 2,” "Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that does not make you who you are. It is the rest of it, who you choose to be."
有 500 多人报名, 为努莎芭捐献肝脏, 其中大部分是陌生人。 甚至有人对我说过, 他们痛恨我的政治见解, 但是努莎芭的故事让他们感动。 有时,有些人会改变。 有时,有些人会选择做正确的事。 有一位名为肖恩·查希尔 (Shawn Zahir)的匿名捐献者, 决定把自己的一块肝脏 捐给一位她从未见过的女孩儿, 就为了能让她活下去。 我不是波丽安娜。 我不是那种傻乎乎,睁着大眼睛, 天真无知的乐观主义者。 我是一个实用主义者, 完全清楚我们现正所面临的 多种挑战和恐慌。 但是,如果对你们能有所帮助的话, 我可以用我的个人经历 向你保证, 在你穿越这片恐怖的丛林时, 在你踏上这段 不知通向何方的旅途时, 如果你选择了希望, 那么这段行程至少会 多些甜蜜,少些艰难。 正如《功夫熊猫 2》里, 那只智慧的公羊对阿宝所言: “你的故事也许没有 皆大欢喜的开始, 但是这并不能决定你是谁。 你是谁要由剩下的部分来决定, 要由你自己来选择。” 此时此刻,
Right now, survival is victory in this story that we are living. We are alive during a pandemic. We are winning. And just for that, we should be grateful. And I hope the choices we make in these challenging times will, Inshallah, God willing, lead to a better story for all of us. And I believe that begins with choosing to invest in hope during hopeless times.
在我们经历的这段故事中, 活着就是胜利。 我们在疫情大流行期间仍然活着, 我们正在走向胜利。 我们应该为此表示感激。 我希望,我们在这个 困难时期所做的选择 如上帝所愿, 能为所有人带来更美好的故事。 我相信,在绝望中选择希望 是这个故事的开始,
Whitney Pennigton Rogers: Thanks so much for that. It was really wonderful to hear, and I think we may even hear Nusayba in the background, which is, I think, exciting.
惠特尼·彭尼顿·罗杰斯:非常感谢。 能听到你的发言真是太棒了, 我想我们可能在背景声音中 听到了努莎芭的声音。 听起来很激动了。
WA: I'm sorry, that's her, it's virtual school, I'm doing the best I can. The wildlings are right there. What's keeping us from the wildlings is a very thin wall, so let's pray.
瓦·阿:不好意思,那是她的声音, 她在上线上课。 我尽力而为。 孩子在那边撒野, 与我们只隔了一堵很薄的墙壁。 所以,一起祈祷吧。
WPR: I think we talked about this before we started, that we're all at home right now. That's the thing I think we all know. So that's what it is. I think before we dive into just talking more about what you've suggested around growing hope, I'd love to start by talking a little bit about your book "Go Back to Where You Came From," because I think that it will provide a nice foundation for, sort of, understanding your thinking around this and sort of how you've come to really embrace this. So I guess maybe you could start first by talking about the title of the book. You know, it's part memoir, part historical analysis, part how-to guide on being inclusive and creating a place of belonging. How did you come up with the title? Why did you choose this for the title of your book?
惠·彭·罗:开始之前我们谈到过, 我们现在都待在家里。 我想,我们大家都清楚这回事。 这是实际情况。 在进一步讨论你对增强希望 所提出的这些建议之前, 我想先谈一谈你的书, 《哪儿来,哪儿去》, 因为我认为,这本书为 我们提供了一个很好的基础, 有助于理解你的想法, 以及如何践行这些想法。 你也许可以先谈谈这本书的书名。 这既是一本回忆录, 又是一部历史分析, 它还指导人们如何 培养包容性,创造归属感。 这个题目是怎么想出来的? 你为什么选择这个题目?
WA: So the title is “Go Back to Where You Came From: And Other Helpful Recommendations on How to Become American.” Very deliberate tongue in cheek, both ugly and funny, right? Because I believe that's the lived experience of life. But that's the lived experience of many Americans who are still trying to love a country that doesn't love us back. And so how do you respond to that pain? And some people cry, as you can tell, I laugh. And so this book is also an elegy for the rest of us who are still striving to be co-protagonists of this American narrative. And the book tries to expand and stretch this country to accommodate all of us to become the multiracial democracy it has to become. Or else I believe it'll all fail. And it's done with a lot of humor and hope, and throughout the journey, you read the book, you know, I talk about Nusayba's cancer, but there's lots of interesting things that happen to me.
瓦·阿:书名是:《哪儿来,哪儿去: 就如何成为美国人的几点有用建议》 这是刻意营造的一种诙谐, 即讨人嫌,又很有趣,不是吗? 我认为这是生活的真实感受, 是许许多多美国人的真实经历, 我们努力去爱这个国家, 但是它并不爱我们。 那么,你该如何应对这种痛楚呢? 如你所知,有些人痛哭流涕, 但是,我要大笑。 所以,这本书也是一首挽歌, 写给我们当中 那些仍在努力成为 美国故事中主要角色的人。 本书试图对美国加以扩展、延申, 使其能够接纳我们所有人, 成为一个多种族、民主制国家。 否则,我认为,美国将会衰落。 书里充满了幽默和希望, 在这个过程中,你读过这本书, 你知道,我说的是 努莎芭患癌症期间, 我身边也发生了很多有趣的事。
WPR: To put it mildly.
惠·彭·罗:委婉而言。
WA: Yeah, my life is like a telenovela, like a Mexican soap opera for better and for worse. And so I hope that when you get to the end part, where I talk about "invest in hope, but tie your camel first," the hope that I give the audience for the future, I don't want it to make it a hallmarky, fake, saccharine, Hollywood ending. I want you to really, like, I want it to be earned. And you know, the way to earn it is to confront the horrors, confront the challenges, name it, own it. Talk about the pain, wear the mileage and the scars. But despite all of that, you still persist, right? And because I agree, I mean, what I said in the speech, the five-minute talk that I just gave you, I believe in it. I've been on all the sides in moments of deep despair. I've been there, of darkness of pain, and I realize if you tap out, it's over. If you tap out, it's done. And what I've seen, and we'll probably talk about it because you read the book, in those moments in my life where you feel like it's over, it's done, I'm at the edge of the cliff and I'm about to fall, there's been a plot twist. Like, the the page turns, and with it comes, like, a better story. And so in the book I mention there was a time where I was completely broke, homeless, my parents were in jail, I was taking care of my grandparents. And I’m like, there’s no way, I couldn’t even imagine my future. I couldn't imagine living to the age of 40. I thought I would be dead by 35. I’m being honest with anyone who’s listening. My timeline, you know, I imagine a lot, like I said, like Doctor Strange, it ended at 35, I just couldn't imagine it. And I just knew that I would die. It’d be over, and I almost did die. But here I am, sitting in my home, married to a woman who's way better than me, I married way up. Like, hotter than me, smarter than me, like, it’s ridiculous, not even cool. And then I got three kids and then Nusayba, who was supposed to die, that’s what they told me, she wouldn’t make it. They said every complication against this girl is happening, you could just hear her chirping right now, I'm sure you guys can hear her chirping, that's Nusayba. So you never know, you never know.
瓦·阿:我的生活 就像是一部电视剧, 不论好坏, 就像是一部墨西哥肥皂剧。 所以,在书的结尾, 我谈到“怀抱希望, 但先要承担起自己的责任”, 我给读者以希望, 但是,我没有想让它有个惊天动地, 过于虚假甜腻, 好莱坞式的结尾。 我希望,这是你努力争取来的希望。 争得希望的方法就是直面恐惧, 直面种种挑战, 把它说出来,然后战胜它。 谈一谈你的痛苦, 展示一下你的经历和伤痕。 尽管如此, 你仍旧坚持不懈,不是吗? 我完全赞同 我在刚才 5 分钟的 谈话中所说的内容。 我对其坚信不疑。 我在极度绝望的时刻, 有过方方面面的体验。 我经历过痛苦所带来的黑暗, 我意识到,如果你认输了, 一切就都结束了, 你一旦认输,你就全完了。 我眼中的是, 你读过这本书, 我们也许可以谈论一下, 当我处在人生的至暗时刻时, 我感到一切都结束了,一切都完了, 我在悬崖边,摇摇欲坠, 这时情节发生了转变。 就像翻过一页书, 随之而来的,是一个更好的故事。 我在书里提到过,有段时间 我彻底破产,无家可归, 父母进了监狱, 祖父母要由我来照顾。 我感到无计可施, 甚至无法想象自己的未来。 我无法想象自己能活到 40 岁。 我当时认为自己活不过 35 岁。 不论是谁在听,我都会实话实说。 我有很多幻想,就像奇异博士那样, 我的时间轴曾截至在 35 岁, 这令人难以想象。 我就是觉得自己会在那时死去。 35 岁已经过去了, 我也确实差一点就死了。 但是我还活着,就坐在我家里, 娶了一位比我强很多的女人, 我是高攀了。 她比我精神,比我聪明, 太夸张了,一点儿都不爽。 之后,我有了三个孩子, 努莎芭生了病,本来不会活太久, 他们都说努莎芭活不下来。 所有的并发症 都在这个孩子身上出现了, 而此时此刻你可以听到 她在叽叽喳喳地说话, 你们肯定都听到了, 叽叽喳喳的,那就是努莎芭。 所以,一切皆有可能。
WPR: We have a question that came in from Darcy, where Darcy asked, "The idea of investing in hope is a great one. But how can we make it tangible? You mentioned visualization or avoiding complaining, but how else can we actually bring this to life?"
惠·彭·罗:达西有一个问题, 达西问:“投资希望是个好主意, 但是我们该如何实现它呢? 你提到了视觉化,避免埋怨等等, 此外,我们还能做些什么呢?”
WA: It's a very good question, and that's where I say, tie your camel first. You have to exhaust yourself of every possibility within your control. You know, and after that, you have to let go. I'll give you an example, I mention it in the book. There was a moment, my parents were in jail. I'm 21 years old, I have to leave school. I'm taking care of my grandparents, my grandmothers, who used to live with me. I'm an only child. I have to care of the family business, I have to pay the lawyer. It's post-9/11, my community turns vicious and cruel. Bad news travels fast, ladies and gentlemen, bad news travels fast. I'm surgical with my budget. I have an Excel sheet. I've got to pay all the bills. According to my Excel sheet, after I withdrew the 20 dollars from Wells Fargo on the corner of Warm Springs and Mission, I was supposed to have 71 dollars left. I go to the ATM of Wells Fargo. I take out the 20 bucks, I get the receipt. I look at the bottom, instead of 71 dollars, it was 00.03. I had 20 dollars, 00.03, I had to pay the bills, pay the lawyer, take care of my family. And I swear to you, at that time ... I mean, honestly, I said: “I have done everything in my power. I am exhausted. What can I do with three cents?” I didn't even get angry, I didn't get upset. I remember this vividly, it was a beautiful Bay Area day, anyone who lives there knows, 4pm, little bit of a windy breeze. The sun was still there, it was just idyllic. And I remember I started laughing, look at the receipt, and a couple of people behind me were trying to figure out what’s wrong with this guy. Because I didn’t know what to do, I just chuckled, I had three cents left. So this is what I did. I took the 20 dollars, went across the street and decided to splurge. I went to Subway and had a Subway supersized meal, foot-long tuna sandwich with all the workings and avocado. And then I decided to have two chocolate chip cookies. Then I went next door and had -- what is a Venti? What's the largest one at Starbucks?
瓦·阿:这个问题提得非常好, 我说过,首先承担起自己的责任。 你必须在自己的可控范围内, 穷尽各种可能性。 之后,你要顺其自然。 我可以给你举一个 书里提到过的例子, 我父母入狱的时候, 我 21 岁,不得不离开学校。 我要照顾我的祖母和外祖母, 她们曾和我住在一起。 我是家里唯一的孩子。 我必须料理家里的生意, 支付律师费。 那是“后 9/11”时期, 当地社区变得恶意刻薄。 女士们,先生们, 坏事传千里, 不胫而走,迅速传播。 我小心翼翼地规划预算。 我有一张电子表格, 上面记录着我要付的账单。 根据这张表格, 如果我从位于温泉路和米申路 拐角处的富国银行 提取 20 美金的话, 那么我的银行账户上 应该还剩 71 美金。 我走到富国银行的自动提款机前, 取了 20 块钱。 拿到提款凭证后, 我看到凭证底部的数字 不是 71 美元, 而是 00.03. 我有 20 美元,外加 00.03. 我要付账单,付律师费, 我要照顾我的家。 我发誓,当时…… 我对自己说:“我已尽我所能, 现在筋疲力尽。 这 3 分钱能有什么用?” 我甚至感觉不到愤怒,毫不沮丧。 我清楚地记得,在湾区, 那是美好的一天, 住在那里的人都知道, 下午 4 点,微风习习。 太阳还没下山,充满田园情调。 我记得,自己看着提款凭证, 开始大笑起来, 站在我背后的两个人搞不明白, 前面这个人有什么毛病。 我不知所措,只能暗自发笑, 我只剩下了 3 分钱。 我是这样做的。 我拿着 20 美元, 穿过街道,决定挥霍一下。 我去了赛百味, 要了一份超大餐, 一英尺长的金枪鱼三明治, 加了所有食材,还有牛油果。 之后我决定再要两块巧克力曲奇。 然后到隔壁买了一杯…… 是叫 Venti 吗? 星巴克最大号的杯子叫什么?
WPR: I think Venti, I don't drink coffee.
惠·彭·罗:好像是 Venti, 不过我不喝咖啡。
WA: Venti caramel frappe with extra caramel drizzle, right? And I had now 20 dollars became 10 dollars. I went home, and I told my grandmother, I said, "I've done everything I possibly could. There's nothing else I can do. We have 10 bucks left, I'm sorry." I had some Dal Chawal that night watched a Netflix movie. And I remember, I said this in the book, I let go. There's nothing else I could do. I completely let go. I said, Allah, whatever happens, Inshallah, I leave it up to you. I've done everything within my powers, like, everything I could possibly think of, I've done. This is it, like, you want to save me, save me, you don't want to save me, whatever, I enjoyed my Subway meal. And I remember, this is really interesting, I had the best night's sleep that night that I have ever had in my life. I remember that sleep to this day. I have prayed for that sleep. I felt like I was a baby in my mother's womb. I tried to wonder why. It's because I knew that I did everything within my powers, I exhausted myself, and I let it go. And then what happened, somehow, I got a loan and 2,500 bucks came. And the story continued.
瓦·阿:Venti 焦糖沙冰, 再多淋上一份焦糖。 现在,我的 20 美金 变成了 10 美金。 我回到家,告诉我祖母, “我做了一切我能做的。 现在没有什么事是我能做的了。 对不起,我们只剩下了这 10 美金。” 那天晚上,我吃了一些米饭, 在 Netflix上看了一部电影。 记得我在书里说过, 我就此放手。 我已经做不了什么了, 所以彻底放手。 我对上帝说:阿拉, 不论发生什么,由你做主。 我已竭尽全力, 做了我能想到的每一件事。 就这样了。如果你想救我, 那就救我一命, 如果你不想救我, 我至少在赛百味饱餐了一顿。 我记得,非常有意思的是, 那天晚上我睡了一个好觉, 那是我一生中最好的一觉。 我至今仍然记忆犹新, 一直企盼能再有那样的好觉。 我觉得,我就像 母亲腹中的一个婴儿。 我努力思考其中的缘由。 那是因为,我已全力以赴, 筋疲力竭,所以只能就此收手。 然后发生的事是, 不知何故,我得到了一笔 2500 美金的贷款。 故事未完待续。
And so when you're saying about doing something tangible, it's not just me saying that like, you have to have some feeling of control and autonomy in what is a world where you feel adrift and the ground is shifting beneath your feet. Those small chores that you take for granted, they'll give you order, some discipline. I’m making that chai. I’m painting this. I’m feeding my children. I took out the trash. I did some work today. I can control this. I did this with my hands. I'm still alive, right? And then you plot and you do the best you can, and then you let go. And I think those daily chores, that daily routine, that you establish gives you a sense of rhythm, at the very least, says, "The world can take everything, but it won't take this. It won't take my delicious cup of chai that I made with my own hands. It won't take this little plant I plotted outside. It won't take my love for my kids. It won't take that from me. Not today, death, not today."
所以,当你谈到做些触手可及的事时, 我并不是随便说说, 你必须觉得自己在这个世界里 有一定的控制力和自主权, 即便这个世界让你感到飘忽不定, 大地在你脚下移动。 那些你习以为常的小事 是某种纪律,会为你带来秩序。 沏一壶茶,刷刷油漆, 给孩子做做饭,出门倒垃圾。 我今天做了这些事。 这是我可以控制的。 是我亲手完成的。 我还活着,不是吗? 此后,你可以做计划, 然后为实现计划拼尽全力, 最后你要放手,顺其发展。 我认为,你设立的那些日常琐事, 每日例行的杂务, 可以给你一种节奏感, 至少,你可以说, “这个世界可以夺走一切, 但是夺不走这些日常小事, 它夺不走这杯我亲手沏的, 香甜可口的茶, 夺不走我在屋外种的一小棵植物, 夺不走我对孩子的爱, 这些都夺不走。 死亡,你今天休想 从我手里夺走这些。”
So I hope for whoever asked that question, I hope that was hopeful.
不管这个问题是谁提出的, 我都希望这个回答能为你带来希望。
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