In the middle of my Ph.D., I was hopelessly stuck. Every research direction that I tried led to a dead end. It seemed like my basic assumptions just stopped working. I felt like a pilot flying through the mist, and I lost all sense of direction. I stopped shaving. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I felt unworthy of stepping across the gates of the university, because I wasn't like Einstein or Newton or any other scientist whose results I had learned about, because in science, we just learn about the results, not the process. And so obviously, I couldn't be a scientist.
在我研讀博士學位的過程中, 我曾經絕望地被困住了, 我所嘗試的每一個研究方向, 都帶我進了死胡同, 那看起來像是我的數個基本假設 就是不管用的。 我覺得我像是個飛行員要穿越雲霧, 我完全不知道要往哪兒去; 我不再刮鬍子、 早上都離不開床了, 我感到沒有資格 踏進大學的大門, 因為我不像愛恩斯坦、牛頓 或者是其他的科學家們, 他們的研究成果 我都曾經學習過的,在科學界 我們就是學習結果而不是過程, 所以很顯然地, 我不能成為一個科學家!
But I had enough support and I made it through and discovered something new about nature. This is an amazing feeling of calmness, being the only person in the world who knows a new law of nature. And I started the second project in my Ph.D, and it happened again. I got stuck and I made it through. And I started thinking, maybe there's a pattern here. I asked the other graduate students, and they said, "Yeah, that's exactly what happened to us, except nobody told us about it." We'd all studied science as if it's a series of logical steps between question and answer, but doing research is nothing like that.
但是我有足夠的支持、助力, 我走過來了, 還發現了一些有關天性的新東西。 這有一種不可思議的平靜, 身為這世上唯一一個人 知道一條天性的新規則來說, 接著我啟動我攻讀博士學位 的第二個研究計畫, 又來了! 我又卡住了、我還是走過來了, 我開始思考, 也許有一個規律在這裡面, 我問了其他的研究生們,而他們跟我說: 「對耶!那就是發生在我們身上的情形, 只是沒人跟我們談過這些」。 我們全都學過,科學就好像是一連串 合邏輯的步驟連結在問題與答案之間, 但是做研究就不是這麼一回事的。
At the same time, I was also studying to be an improvisation theater actor. So physics by day, and by night, laughing, jumping, singing, playing my guitar. Improvisation theater, just like science, goes into the unknown, because you have to make a scene onstage without a director, without a script, without having any idea what you'll portray or what the other characters will do. But unlike science, in improvisation theater, they tell you from day one what's going to happen to you when you get onstage. You're going to fail miserably. You're going to get stuck. And we would practice staying creative inside that stuck place. For example, we had an exercise where we all stood in a circle, and each person had to do the world's worst tap dance, and everybody else applauded and cheered you on, supporting you onstage.
相同時間,我也在學習 要成為即興演出劇場的表演者, 白天是物理, 到了晚上大笑、大跳、演唱、 演奏吉他, 即興演出劇場 就像是科學一樣 要進入未知的領域, 因為你必須在舞台上表演 而沒有導演、劇本, 你完全沒有頭緒要去描繪什麼, 或是其他角色會做些甚麼。 不過不像是科學, 在即興演出劇場 他們從第一天就告訴你 當你上了舞台會發生甚麼事, 你將會很悲慘地失敗、 你會被卡住。 而我們會練習保持有創造力 在這個被卡住的地方。 例如我們有一個練習, 我們站著圍出圓圈, 而每一個人都要跳出 世界上最糟糕的踢踏舞, 然後每一個人都會鼓掌、 為你打氣、 支持你上舞台。
When I became a professor and had to guide my own students through their research projects, I realized again, I don't know what to do. I'd studied thousands of hours of physics, biology, chemistry, but not one hour, not one concept on how to mentor, how to guide someone to go together into the unknown, about motivation.
當我變成了一個教授後, 必須指導我自己的學生, 通過他們的研究專案, 我又明白到了, 我不知道要怎麼做, 我已經學習了上千個鐘頭的物理學、 生物學、化學等, 但是卻沒有一個鐘頭、一個概念, 在如何指導、帶領其他人 一起進入未知的領域, 以及有關激勵學生?
So I turned to improvisation theater, and I told my students from day one what's going to happen when you start research, and this has to do with our mental schema of what research will be like. Because you see, whenever people do anything, for example if I want to touch this blackboard, my brain first builds up a schema, a prediction of exactly what my muscles will do before I even start moving my hand, and if I get blocked, if my schema doesn't match reality, that causes extra stress called cognitive dissonance. That's why your schemas had better match reality. But if you believe the way science is taught, and if you believe textbooks, you're liable to have the following schema of research. If A is the question, and B is the answer, then research is a direct path. The problem is that if an experiment doesn't work, or a student gets depressed, it's perceived as something utterly wrong and causes tremendous stress. And that's why I teach my students a more realistic schema. Here's an example where things don't match your schema. (Laughter) (Applause)
所以我改用即興演出劇院的經驗, 打從第一天我就告訴學生, 當他們開始做研究後 將會發生甚麼事情, 這有關於我們的心裡的圖表: 做研究應該像是甚麼樣子。 因為你也知道的, 任何時候在我們做任何事情時, 好比是我想要碰這塊黑板, 我的大腦裡會先建構出一張圖表, 精確地預期我的肌肉將會如何運作, 甚至早在我動起我的手之前。 如果過程中間我被卡住了、 如果我心裡那張圖表跟現況不符, 那引發過多的焦慮稱做「認知失調」, 那就是為什麼你的心裡圖表 最好是要跟現況相符。 不過如果你相信科學被教的方法、 如果你相信教科書, 相信你 會有接下來這張研究的心裡圖表, 如果A是問題、 B是答案, 然後「研究」就是一條筆直的路徑。 問題是如果一個實驗不成功、 或是學生心情低落了, 那被認為如同某些事情徹底地錯誤, 而造成極大的焦慮。 那就是為什麼我教給我的學生 一張比較真實的圖表, 這邊是一個例子 實際情形跟你的圖表不一致。 (笑聲) (鼓掌)
So I teach my students a different schema. If A is the question, B is the answer, stay creative in the cloud, and you start going, and experiments don't work, experiments don't work, experiments don't work, experiments don't work, until you reach a place linked with negative emotions where it seems like your basic assumptions have stopped making sense, like somebody yanked the carpet beneath your feet. And I call this place the cloud. Now you can be lost in the cloud for a day, a week, a month, a year, a whole career, but sometimes, if you're lucky enough and you have enough support, you can see in the materials at hand, or perhaps meditating on the shape of the cloud, a new answer, C, and you decide to go for it. And experiments don't work, experiments don't work, but you get there, and then you tell everyone about it by publishing a paper that reads A arrow C, which is a great way to communicate, but as long as you don't forget the path that brought you there.
所以我教給我的學生們 一張不同的圖表, 如果A是問題、 B是答案, 在「雲層」中時保持有創意的, 而你開始往前進, 然後實驗不成功、接著實驗又不成功、 繼續實驗還是不成功、實驗繼續不成功, 直到你來到與負面情緒連結的地步, 那看起來像是你的數個基本假設 都不再有道理了, 就像是有人抽走在你腳下 的地毯一樣, 我把這個地步叫做「雲層」。 你可以在「雲層」裡迷失了 一天、一個星期、一個月、一年、 整個職涯; 不過有些時候如果你夠幸運、 有足夠的助力、後援, 你可以看清楚手上握有的資訊, 或者是冥想出「雲層」的形狀, 出現一個新答案:C 而你決定要去得到這答案, 然後實驗不成功、接著實驗又不成功, 不過最後你走到答案那邊了, 之後你告訴每一個人關於這件事, 你透過發表論文,那寫著A箭頭到C, 這是很棒的方式用來交流訊息, 不過前提是你也不要忘記 帶你到達答案的路徑。
Now this cloud is an inherent part of research, an inherent part of our craft, because the cloud stands guard at the boundary. It stands guard at the boundary between the known and the unknown, because in order to discover something truly new, at least one of your basic assumptions has to change, and that means that in science, we do something quite heroic. Every day, we try to bring ourselves to the boundary between the known and the unknown and face the cloud.
「雲層」是研究既有的部分、 我們技術上既有的部分, 因為「雲層」守護著疆界, 它護守著 介於已知 跟未知之間的疆界, 為了要找到一些確實是新的東西, 至少你的多個基本假設中的一個 必須要做改變, 那代表在科學上 我們相當英勇的做著一些事情。 每一天我們試著帶我們自己 來到已知跟未知之間的疆界, 來面對雲層。
Now notice that I put B in the land of the known, because we knew about it in the beginning, but C is always more interesting and more important than B. So B is essential in order to get going, but C is much more profound, and that's the amazing thing about resesarch.
注意這邊我把B放在 已知的地方, 因為我們從一開始就知道有B了, 但是C總是更有趣、 更重要過於B, 所以為了向前進B是不可少的, 但是C是更有深意的。 那就是研究不可思議的地方。
Now just knowing that word, the cloud, has been transformational in my research group, because students come to me and say, "Uri, I'm in the cloud," and I say, "Great, you must be feeling miserable." (Laughter) But I'm kind of happy, because we might be close to the boundary between the known and the unknown, and we stand a chance of discovering something truly new, since the way our mind works, it's just knowing that the cloud is normal, it's essential, and in fact beautiful, we can join the Cloud Appreciation Society, and it detoxifies the feeling that something is deeply wrong with me. And as a mentor, I know what to do, which is to step up my support for the student, because research in psychology shows that if you're feeling fear and despair, your mind narrows down to very safe and conservative ways of thinking. If you'd like to explore the risky paths needed to get out of the cloud, you need other emotions -- solidarity, support, hope — that come with your connection from somebody else, so like in improvisation theater, in science, it's best to walk into the unknown together.
只是知道「雲層」這個字眼, 已經在我的研究團隊裡起了變化, 因為學生會過來跟我說: 「烏禮!我在雲層裡了!」 而我說: 「很好,你一定感覺很淒慘吧!」 (笑聲) 不過我是有一點高興, 因為我們可能是接近了那條疆界, 介於已知與未知之間, 我們握有機會發現 一些確實存在的新事物。 自從我們思緒是這種方式運作 只要知道「雲層」 是正常的、不可少的, 還有事實上是美麗的。 我們就能加入「理解雲層社會」, 這會解去「我真的有些地方完全錯掉」 這種感覺的毒。 身為指導者我知道該做些甚麼, 就是要增加我的支持給學生們, 因為心理學的研究指出, 如果你感覺恐懼和絕望, 你的思路就會窄化到 非常安全跟保守的思考方式。 如果你想要探索有風險的路徑, 那是帶你離開雲層所必要的, 你需要其他的情緒: 踏實、靠山、希望, 那來自與你跟你以外的人產生的關連, 就像在即興演出劇場裡, 科學裡面最棒的事是 一起進入未知。
So knowing about the cloud, you also learn from improvisation theater a very effective way to have conversations inside the cloud. It's based on the central principle of improvisation theater, so here improvisation theater came to my help again. It's called saying "Yes, and" to the offers made by other actors. That means accepting the offers and building on them, saying, "Yes, and." For example, if one actor says, "Here is a pool of water," and the other actor says, "No, that's just a stage," the improvisation is over. It's dead, and everybody feels frustrated. That's called blocking. If you're not mindful of communications, scientific conversations can have a lot of blocking.
所以清楚明白了「雲層」, 你也從即興演出劇場學到了 非常有效的的方法 在「雲層」裡交談, 那是基於即興演出劇場 的中心準則。 所以在這邊即興演出劇場 又再次成為了我的幫助。 就是說:「沒錯!然後..」, 由其他演員做球來給你, 那意味著接受做球, 然後從這句話去建設。說「沒錯!然後..」 舉例來說如果一個演員說: 「這裡有一個水池。」 而其他演員說: 「不是啦!這裡是舞台。」 這一場即興演出就結束了, 它完蛋了,每一個人都感覺受到挫折了, 那叫做「堵塞」。 如果你的交談不是體貼的, 科學的對話就有很多的「堵塞」。
Saying "Yes, and" sounds like this.
說:「沒錯!然後…」,聽起來像是
"Here is a pool of water." "Yeah, let's jump in."
「這裡有一個水池!」; 「耶!讓我們跳進水池裡吧!」
"Look, there's a whale! Let's grab it by its tail. It's pulling us to the moon!"
「看,那裡有一隻鯨魚!」; 「讓我們從尾巴抓住牠!」 「牠將會把我們拉上月球去的!」
So saying "Yes, and" bypasses our inner critic. We all have an inner critic that kind of guards what we say, so people don't think that we're obscene or crazy or unoriginal, and science is full of the fear of appearing unoriginal. Saying "Yes, and" bypasses the critic and unlocks hidden voices of creativity you didn't even know that you had, and they often carry the answer about the cloud.
所以說「沒錯!然後」 來繞過我們內在的批判, 我們都會有一個內在的批判, 那有點像是我們說話時的防衛, 所以大家不會認為我們說漏了甚麼、 或是發瘋了的、沒新意的, 而科學是充滿 表現沒新意的恐懼。 說「沒錯!然後」 來繞過我們內在的批判, 解放創意被藏起來的聲音, 你甚至不知道你已經有的創意, 那些聲音經常會帶來答案, 有關於「雲層」的。
So you see, knowing about the cloud and about saying "Yes, and" made my lab very creative. Students started playing off of each others' ideas, and we made surprising discoveries in the interface between physics and biology. For example, we were stuck for a year trying to understand the intricate biochemical networks inside our cells, and we said, "We are deeply in the cloud," and we had a playful conversation where my student Shai Shen Orr said, "Let's just draw this on a piece of paper, this network," and instead of saying, "But we've done that so many times and it doesn't work," I said, "Yes, and let's use a very big piece of paper," and then Ron Milo said, "Let's use a gigantic architect's blueprint kind of paper, and I know where to print it," and we printed out the network and looked at it, and that's where we made our most important discovery, that this complicated network is just made of a handful of simple, repeating interaction patterns like motifs in a stained glass window. We call them network motifs, and they're the elementary circuits that help us understand the logic of the way cells make decisions in all organisms, including our body.
你也清楚,知道有關「雲層」、 和說「沒錯!然後」, 使我的實驗室變得非常有創意, 學生們開始挑動彼此的想法, 而且我們做出數個令人驚喜的發現, 在物理學和生物學交疊的區域, 例如我們以前被卡住了一年, 努力嘗試想要了解在我們細胞中 複雜精細的生物化學網絡, 我們說:「我們在雲層裡的深處」。 以及我們有一個好玩的交談, 我的學生歐俠伸說: 「讓我們把這個網絡給畫在一張紙上。」, 取代會說出 「但是我們已經做過那麼多遍了 都行不通的。」 我說:「沒錯! 讓我們用一張非常大的紙。」 接著朗.米羅說了: 「讓我們用一張巨大的建築師用的 底稿籃圖那樣的紙, 我知道要去哪裡影印。」 我們印出那個網絡、盯著它看, 那裡是我們做出最重要發現的地方。 這一個複雜精細的網路 只是由幾個簡單的、重複的 互動模式所組成的, 就像是彩色玻璃窗戶的圖案一樣, 我們叫它網路圖案。 它們是基本的迴路, 它幫我們了解 體內所有器官、包括身體的 細胞做決定的邏輯。
Soon enough, after this, I started being invited to give talks to thousands of scientists across the world, but the knowledge about the cloud and saying "Yes, and" just stayed within my own lab, because you see, in science, we don't talk about the process, anything subjective or emotional. We talk about the results. So there was no way to talk about it in conferences. That was unthinkable. And I saw scientists in other groups get stuck without even having a word to describe what they're seeing, and their ways of thinking narrowed down to very safe paths, their science didn't reach its full potential, and they were miserable. I thought, that's the way it is. I'll try to make my lab as creative as possible, and if everybody else does the same, science will eventually become more and more better and better.
此後很快地, 我開始受到邀請去演講 給上千位世界各地的科學家聽。 但是有關「雲層」的知識、 說「沒錯!然後..」等, 都還只留在我自己的實驗室裡, 因為你也知道的 在科學界我們並不談論研究過程、 任何主觀還是情緒上的東西, 我們談的就是結果。 所以沒有辦法在研討會裡談到 過程、主觀上、情緒上 那是無法想像的。 還有我知道其他團隊的 科學人員們被卡住了, 甚至沒有一個字形容 他們看見什麼了, 他們的思路 窄化為非常安全的路徑, 他們的科學研究 並沒有達到最大潛力, 而他們是很痛苦, 我認為就是這麼一回事。 我會努力讓我的實驗室 盡可能維持有創意, 如果每一個人都照這樣做, 科學成果最終會變得 越來越多、越來越好。
That way of thinking got turned on its head when by chance I went to hear Evelyn Fox Keller give a talk about her experiences as a woman in science. And she asked, "Why is it that we don't talk about the subjective and emotional aspects of doing science? It's not by chance. It's a matter of values." You see, science seeks knowledge that's objective and rational. That's the beautiful thing about science. But we also have a cultural myth that the doing of science, what we do every day to get that knowledge, is also only objective and rational, like Mr. Spock. And when you label something as objective and rational, automatically, the other side, the subjective and emotional, become labeled as non-science or anti-science or threatening to science, and we just don't talk about it. And when I heard that, that science has a culture, everything clicked into place for me, because if science has a culture, culture can be changed, and I can be a change agent working to change the culture of science wherever I could. And so the very next lecture I gave in a conference, I talked about my science, and then I talked about the importance of the subjective and emotional aspects of doing science and how we should talk about them, and I looked at the audience, and they were cold. They couldn't hear what I was saying in the context of a 10 back-to-back PowerPoint presentation conference. And I tried again and again, conference after conference, but I wasn't getting through. I was in the cloud.
那樣的思考方式被顛覆了過來, 當偶然下我去聽 艾芙玲.福克斯 演講有關她身為女人 在科學領域的經驗。 她問說: 「為什麼我們不談有關做科學的主觀上 還有情緒上這方面的事情呢?」 那並不是偶然發生的, 那是關於價值的。 你們都知道科學是尋求 客觀還有合理的知識, 那是科學美麗的地方; 但是我們有文化上的迷思, 做科學 那是我們為了求取知識每天在做的事, 也是只有客觀跟合理的, 好像史巴克博士一樣。 然而當你將某些事物標記為 客觀的、合理的, 自動地另一邊 主觀的和情緒性的, 被貼上非科學的、 反科學的、危害科學的標籤, 我們只有不去談它。 當我聽到這些, 說科學界有一個文化, 我恍然大悟過來, 因為如果科學裡有文化, 而文化是可以被改變的, 那我就可以當做一個改變的代表, 不管我到哪裡都能夠從事 改變科學的文化。 所以在研討會裡我緊接下來 開的課程裡, 我談我的科學, 隨後我談關於 主觀的、情緒的這方面在 做科學的重要性 還有我們應該如何來談論它們; 接著我看著聽眾們, 他們是冷淡的, 他們沒辦法聽懂我當時正在說的東西, 在連續10場 有投影片介紹的研討會裡。 我試著一遍又一遍、 一場接著一場研討會 但是我無法克服這情形, 我當時在「雲層」裡的。
And eventually I managed to get out the cloud using improvisation and music. Since then, every conference I go to, I give a science talk and a second, special talk called "Love and fear in the lab," and I start it off by doing a song about scientists' greatest fear, which is that we work hard, we discover something new, and somebody else publishes it before we do. We call it being scooped, and being scooped feels horrible. It makes us afraid to talk to each other, which is no fun, because we came to science to share our ideas and to learn from each other, and so I do a blues song, which — (Applause) — called "Scooped Again," and I ask the audience to be my backup singers, and I tell them, "Your text is 'Scoop, Scoop.'" It sounds like this: "Scoop, scoop!" Sounds like this.
終於我成功離開了「雲層」, 利用即興表演和音樂 從那時候起每一場我去的研討會, 我做一個科學的演說, 以及第二個是特別的演說 叫做「在實驗室裡的愛好和恐懼」, 我做了一首歌來當開場, 是有關科學家們最大的恐懼, 就是我們工作得很賣力, 發現了一些新的東西, 但是外面其他人搶先我們發表了, 我們把這叫做「被搶走獨家了」, 被搶走獨家感覺是恐怖可怕。 讓我們害怕去跟彼此談話 這並不好玩, 因為我們到了科學界來 分享我們的想法 以及從彼此的身上來學習, 所以我做了一首藍調歌曲, (掌聲) 叫做「又被搶走獨家了!」 然後我邀請聽眾們當我的副歌歌手, 我告訴他們說:你們的歌詞是 「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」 聽起來就像這樣 「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」 聽起來就像這樣
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
「我又一次被搶走獨家了!」
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」
And then we go for it.
之後我們就開始唱
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
「我又一次被搶走獨家了!」
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
「我又一次被搶走獨家了!」
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
「我又一次被搶走獨家了!」
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
「我又一次被搶走獨家了!」
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
「被搶走獨家了!被搶走獨家了!」
♪ Oh mama, can't you feel my pain ♪
噢!媽呀!難道你無法體會我的痛嗎?
♪ Heavens help me, I've been scooped again ♪ (Applause)
天哪!幫幫我!我又被搶走獨家了呀! (掌聲)
Thank you. Thank you for your backup singing.
謝謝大家! 謝謝你們!謝謝你們唱副歌。
So everybody starts laughing, starts breathing, notices that there's other scientists around them with shared issues, and we start talking about the emotional and subjective things that go on in research. It feels like a huge taboo has been lifted. Finally, we can talk about this in a scientific conference. And scientists have gone on to form peer groups where they meet regularly and create a space to talk about the emotional and subjective things that happen as they're mentoring, as they're going into the unknown, and even started courses about the process of doing science, about going into the unknown together, and many other things.
這樣一來每個人都笑開來了、活過來了、 注意到他們周遭有其他科學家們 有著共同問題, 我們開始談論關於 做研究會碰上的 情緒上的、主觀上的東西, 感覺就像禁忌被解開了。 最後我們可以在科學的 研討會裡談這些, 科學家們已經組成數個同儕團體, 那裡他們定期的聚會、 創造空間來談有關情緒的、 主觀的東西, 發生在當他們指導人時、 在他們進入未知領域、 甚至是開始展開 做科學的過程裡、 有關於一起進入未知的領域、 和很多其他東西。
So my vision is that, just like every scientist knows the word "atom," that matter is made out of atoms, every scientist would know the words like "the cloud," saying "Yes, and," and science will become much more creative, make many, many more unexpected discoveries for the benefit of us all, and would also be much more playful. And what I might ask you to remember from this talk is that next time you face a problem you can't solve in work or in life, there's a word for what you're going to see: the cloud. And you can go through the cloud not alone but together with someone who is your source of support to say "Yes, and" to your ideas, to help you say "Yes, and" to your own ideas, to increase the chance that, through the wisps of the cloud, you'll find that moment of calmness where you get your first glimpse of your unexpected discovery, your C.
我的看法是 就像每一個科學家知道「原子」, 重點是辨認出原子, 每一位科學家都知道 「雲層」、說「沒錯!然後呢..」 這些字 科學將會變得非常有創意, 做出很多預期不到的研究發現, 造福我們所有人的, 科學也會變成非常有趣的。 我想請你從這場演說 裡記住的是: 當你下一次面對 生活上或是工作上 無法解決的問題時, 這時候你眼前會浮現這個字 「雲層」, 而你可以穿越「雲層」, 不是單獨而是一起, 跟那位你的助力幫你 對你的想法說「沒錯!然後呢..」, 幫助你對你自己的想法說 「沒錯!然後呢..」 來增加機會 穿越雲氣, 你會得到平靜的時刻, 那時候你就有第一次瞄到 沒預期到的答案: 你的C。
Thank you.
謝謝大家!
(Applause)
(掌聲)