In the middle of my Ph.D., I was hopelessly stuck. Every research direction that I tried led to a dead end. It seemed like my basic assumptions just stopped working. I felt like a pilot flying through the mist, and I lost all sense of direction. I stopped shaving. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I felt unworthy of stepping across the gates of the university, because I wasn't like Einstein or Newton or any other scientist whose results I had learned about, because in science, we just learn about the results, not the process. And so obviously, I couldn't be a scientist.
Usred svog doktorata, potpuno sam zablokirao. Svaki pravac istraživanja kojim bih se zaputio vodio je u ćorsokak. Kao da više nisam mogao zdravorazumski da zaključujem. Osećao sam se kao pilot koji leti kroz maglu i potpuno sam izgubio smernice. Prestao sam da se brijem. Nisam mogao da ustanem ujutru. Osećao sam da nisam dostojan da prođem kroz kapije univerziteta, jer nisam bio kao Ajnštajn ili Njutn ili bilo koji drugi naučnik o čijim rezultatima sam učio, jer u nauci učimo samo o rezultatima, ne o procesu. I naravno, nisam mogao biti naučnik.
But I had enough support and I made it through and discovered something new about nature. This is an amazing feeling of calmness, being the only person in the world who knows a new law of nature. And I started the second project in my Ph.D, and it happened again. I got stuck and I made it through. And I started thinking, maybe there's a pattern here. I asked the other graduate students, and they said, "Yeah, that's exactly what happened to us, except nobody told us about it." We'd all studied science as if it's a series of logical steps between question and answer, but doing research is nothing like that.
Ali imao sam dosta podrške i izgurao sam i otkrio nešto novo o prirodi. U pitanju je neverovatan osećaj mira, jer ste jedina osoba na svetu koja zna novi zakon prirode. Započeo sam drugi projekat za svoj doktorat i ponovo se desilo. Opet sam zablokirao i ipak izgurao. I počeo sam da razmišljam, možda ovde postoji šablon. Pitao sam ostale studente na doktoratu i rekli su: "Da, baš nam se to desilo, samo što nam niko nije ništa rekao o tome." Svi smo se bavili naukom kao da je ona niz logičnih koraka između pitanja i odgovora, ali istraživanje nema veze sa time.
At the same time, I was also studying to be an improvisation theater actor. So physics by day, and by night, laughing, jumping, singing, playing my guitar. Improvisation theater, just like science, goes into the unknown, because you have to make a scene onstage without a director, without a script, without having any idea what you'll portray or what the other characters will do. But unlike science, in improvisation theater, they tell you from day one what's going to happen to you when you get onstage. You're going to fail miserably. You're going to get stuck. And we would practice staying creative inside that stuck place. For example, we had an exercise where we all stood in a circle, and each person had to do the world's worst tap dance, and everybody else applauded and cheered you on, supporting you onstage.
U isto vreme sam učio da budem glumac - improvizator. Dakle, fizičar u toku dana, a noću, smeh, skakanje, pevanje, sviranje gitare. Improvizacija, kao nauka, zalazi u nepoznato, jer morate da nastupite na sceni, bez reditelja, bez scenarija, bez ikakve ideje šta ćete prikazati, ili kakve će druge uloge biti. Ali za razliku od nauke, kada učite improvizaciju, kažu vam od prvog dana šta će vam se desiti na sceni. Bićete bedno poraženi. Zablokiraćete. A vežbaćemo kako da ostanemo kreativni unutar te blokade. Primera radi, tokom jedne vežbe svi smo stajali u krugu i svako je trebalo da odigra najgore moguće stepovanje i svi bi aplaudirali i navijali podržavajući te na sceni.
When I became a professor and had to guide my own students through their research projects, I realized again, I don't know what to do. I'd studied thousands of hours of physics, biology, chemistry, but not one hour, not one concept on how to mentor, how to guide someone to go together into the unknown, about motivation.
Kada sam postao profesor i kada je trebalo da usmeravam svoje studente kroz njihove istraživačke projekte, opet sam shvatio da ne znam šta da radim. Provodio sam hiljade sati učeći fiziku, biologiju, hemiju, ali ni jedan sat, ni jedna ideja o tome kako biti mentor, kako usmeriti nekoga da zajedno pođete u nepoznato, o motivaciji.
So I turned to improvisation theater, and I told my students from day one what's going to happen when you start research, and this has to do with our mental schema of what research will be like. Because you see, whenever people do anything, for example if I want to touch this blackboard, my brain first builds up a schema, a prediction of exactly what my muscles will do before I even start moving my hand, and if I get blocked, if my schema doesn't match reality, that causes extra stress called cognitive dissonance. That's why your schemas had better match reality. But if you believe the way science is taught, and if you believe textbooks, you're liable to have the following schema of research. If A is the question, and B is the answer, then research is a direct path. The problem is that if an experiment doesn't work, or a student gets depressed, it's perceived as something utterly wrong and causes tremendous stress. And that's why I teach my students a more realistic schema. Here's an example where things don't match your schema. (Laughter) (Applause)
Stoga sam se okrenuo ka pozorištu improvizacije i rekao studentima prvoga dana šta ih očekuje kad započnu istraživanje, a to je vezano za našu predstavu o tome kako bi izgledalo istraživanje. Jer, vidite, svaki put kada ljudi nešto rade, na primer, ako bih želeo da dodirnem ovu tablu, moj mozak bi sagradio šablon, predviđanje o tome šta će tačno mišići raditi čak pre nego što pomerim ruku, a ako zablokiram, ako se šablon ne poklapa sa realnošću nastaje dodatni stres, kognitivna disonanca. Zato bi vaši šabloni trebalo da se poklapaju sa realnošću. Ali ako verujete u način na koji se nauka predaje i ako verujete u knjige, od vas se očekuje da pratite izvesan pravac pri istraživanju. Ako je A pitanje, B je odgovor, onda je istraživanje direktna putanja. Problem nastaje kada eksperiment ne uspe, ili student upadne u depresiju, to se onda prihvata kao nešto sasvim pogrešno, i izaziva ogroman stres. Izbog toga učim svoje studente nešto realističnijem pristupu. Evo primera kada se stvari ne poklapaju sa vašim šablonom. (Smeh) (Aplauz)
So I teach my students a different schema. If A is the question, B is the answer, stay creative in the cloud, and you start going, and experiments don't work, experiments don't work, experiments don't work, experiments don't work, until you reach a place linked with negative emotions where it seems like your basic assumptions have stopped making sense, like somebody yanked the carpet beneath your feet. And I call this place the cloud. Now you can be lost in the cloud for a day, a week, a month, a year, a whole career, but sometimes, if you're lucky enough and you have enough support, you can see in the materials at hand, or perhaps meditating on the shape of the cloud, a new answer, C, and you decide to go for it. And experiments don't work, experiments don't work, but you get there, and then you tell everyone about it by publishing a paper that reads A arrow C, which is a great way to communicate, but as long as you don't forget the path that brought you there.
Tako da učim svoje studente drugačijem pristupu. Ako je A pitanje, B je odgovor, ostanite kreativni u oblaku i započnete, I eksperiment ne uspeva, ne uspeva, eksperiment ne uspeva, ne uspeva dok ne dođete do tačke povezane sa negativnim emocijama kada se čini da vaše osnovne pretpostavke više nemaju smisla, kao da vam je neko izbio tlo pod nogama. I to mesto ja nazivam oblakom. Možete biti izgubljeni u oblaku na dan, nedelju, mesec, godinu, čitave karijere, ali ponekad, ako ste dovoljno srećne ruke i ako imate dovoljno podrške, u ponuđenim stvarima ili možda meditirajući o obliku tog oblaka, možete videti novi odgovor, C, i odlučite da pođete tim putem. I opet eksperiment ne uspeva, eksperiment ne uspeva ali uspete, i kažete svima o tome, objavivši članak koji govori A - C, što je odličan način komunikacije, dokle god ne zaboravite putanju koja vas je dovela dotle.
Now this cloud is an inherent part of research, an inherent part of our craft, because the cloud stands guard at the boundary. It stands guard at the boundary between the known and the unknown, because in order to discover something truly new, at least one of your basic assumptions has to change, and that means that in science, we do something quite heroic. Every day, we try to bring ourselves to the boundary between the known and the unknown and face the cloud.
Oblak je sastavni deo istraživanja, sastavni deo našeg zanata, jer se oblak nalazi na granici. Nalazi se na granici između poznatog i nepoznatog, jer da biste otkrili nešto sasvim novo, barem jedna od vaših osnovnih pretpostavki mora da se promeni, a to znači da u nauci mi činimo nešto sasvim herojski. Svakoga dana, pokušavamo da dopremo do granice između poznatog i nepoznatog i suočimo se sa oblakom.
Now notice that I put B in the land of the known, because we knew about it in the beginning, but C is always more interesting and more important than B. So B is essential in order to get going, but C is much more profound, and that's the amazing thing about resesarch.
Primetićete da sam stavio B u oblast poznatog, jer znamo za B od samog početka, dok je C daleko interesantnije i mnogo bitnije od B. Dakle, B je neophodno da bi se započelo, dok je C daleko prefinjenije, i to je fantastični aspekt istraživanja.
Now just knowing that word, the cloud, has been transformational in my research group, because students come to me and say, "Uri, I'm in the cloud," and I say, "Great, you must be feeling miserable." (Laughter) But I'm kind of happy, because we might be close to the boundary between the known and the unknown, and we stand a chance of discovering something truly new, since the way our mind works, it's just knowing that the cloud is normal, it's essential, and in fact beautiful, we can join the Cloud Appreciation Society, and it detoxifies the feeling that something is deeply wrong with me. And as a mentor, I know what to do, which is to step up my support for the student, because research in psychology shows that if you're feeling fear and despair, your mind narrows down to very safe and conservative ways of thinking. If you'd like to explore the risky paths needed to get out of the cloud, you need other emotions -- solidarity, support, hope — that come with your connection from somebody else, so like in improvisation theater, in science, it's best to walk into the unknown together.
Samo saznanje o toj reči, oblak, je bilo transformišuće za moju istraživačku grupu jer bi mi studenti prišli sa rečima: "Uri, u oblaku sam," i ja bih rekao, "Odlično, mora da se osećaš bedno." (Smeh) Ali nekako sam zadovoljan, jer smo možda bliži granici između poznatog i nepoznatog, i imamo šansu da otkrijemo nešto potpuno novo, jer, zbog načina na koji naš um funkcioniše, samo saznanje da je oblak normalan, čak neophodan, i zapravo veoma lep, možemo se priključiti Udruženju onih koji cene oblak, i na taj način uklonimo osećaj da nešto nije u redu sa nama. I ja, kao mentor, znam šta da radim, a to je da više podržavam svoje studente jer istraživanje u psihologiji pokazuje da ako se plašite ili očajavate, vaš um se sužava na uljuljkan i konzervativan način razmišljanja. Ako želite da istražite rizične putanje koje su neophodne za izlazak iz oblaka, potrebna su vam drugačija osećanja - solidarnost, podrška, nada - koji dolaze iz odnosa sa nekim drugim, stoga kao i u improvizacionom pozorištu, u nauci, najbolje je ići ka nepoznatom zajedno.
So knowing about the cloud, you also learn from improvisation theater a very effective way to have conversations inside the cloud. It's based on the central principle of improvisation theater, so here improvisation theater came to my help again. It's called saying "Yes, and" to the offers made by other actors. That means accepting the offers and building on them, saying, "Yes, and." For example, if one actor says, "Here is a pool of water," and the other actor says, "No, that's just a stage," the improvisation is over. It's dead, and everybody feels frustrated. That's called blocking. If you're not mindful of communications, scientific conversations can have a lot of blocking.
Dakle, znajući o oblaku, iz improvacionog pozorišta može se naučiti veoma dobar način za komunikaciju unutar oblaka. Zasnovan je na centralnom principu improvizacionog pozorišta, koje mi je opet pomoglo s ovim. Treba reći: "Da, i" ponudama koje dolaze od strane drugih glumaca. To znači prihvatiti ponude i nadgraditi ih rekavši "Da, i". Na primer, ako jedan glumac kaže: "Ovde se nalazi bazen", a drugi glumac kaže: "Ne, to je samo pozornica", improvizacija se završava. Improvizacija je gotova i svi se osećaju isfrustrirano. To se zove blokiranje. Ako niste obazrivi u komunikaciji, naučni razgovori mogu biti puni blokiranja.
Saying "Yes, and" sounds like this.
Reći "Da, i" bi zvučalo ovako.
"Here is a pool of water." "Yeah, let's jump in."
"Evo bazena." "Da, hajde da uskočimo."
"Look, there's a whale! Let's grab it by its tail. It's pulling us to the moon!"
"Vidi, kit! Hajde da ga uhvatimo za rep. Odvući će nas na mesec!"
So saying "Yes, and" bypasses our inner critic. We all have an inner critic that kind of guards what we say, so people don't think that we're obscene or crazy or unoriginal, and science is full of the fear of appearing unoriginal. Saying "Yes, and" bypasses the critic and unlocks hidden voices of creativity you didn't even know that you had, and they often carry the answer about the cloud.
Dakle rekavši "Da, i" prevazilazimo unutarnjeg kritičara. Svi imamo unutarnjeg kritičara koji kao da pazi na sve što govorimo, da ljudi ne misle da smo nepristojni ili ludi ili neoriginalni, a nauka je puna straha od neoriginalnosti. Rekavši "Da, i" prevazilazimo kritičara i otvaramo skrivena vrata kreativnosti za koja nismo ni znali da su u nama, i koja često nose odgovor o oblaku.
So you see, knowing about the cloud and about saying "Yes, and" made my lab very creative. Students started playing off of each others' ideas, and we made surprising discoveries in the interface between physics and biology. For example, we were stuck for a year trying to understand the intricate biochemical networks inside our cells, and we said, "We are deeply in the cloud," and we had a playful conversation where my student Shai Shen Orr said, "Let's just draw this on a piece of paper, this network," and instead of saying, "But we've done that so many times and it doesn't work," I said, "Yes, and let's use a very big piece of paper," and then Ron Milo said, "Let's use a gigantic architect's blueprint kind of paper, and I know where to print it," and we printed out the network and looked at it, and that's where we made our most important discovery, that this complicated network is just made of a handful of simple, repeating interaction patterns like motifs in a stained glass window. We call them network motifs, and they're the elementary circuits that help us understand the logic of the way cells make decisions in all organisms, including our body.
Vidite, znajući za oblak i rekavši "Da, i" učinilo je moju laboratoriju veoma kreativnom. Studenti su počeli da testiraju ideje jedni drugih i došli smo do iznenađujućih otkrića u interakciji fizike i biologije. Na primer, zaglavili smo se godinu dana pokušavajući da razumemo složenost biohemijskih veza unutar ćelija i rekli smo: "Duboko smo u oblaku," i pričali smo kroz šalu kada je moj student Šaj Šen Or rekao: "Hajde da to sve nacrtamo, te veze," i umesto da kažemo: "Ali ovo smo već toliko puta uradili i nije upalilo," rekao sam "Hajde, i hajde da to radimo na ogromnom papiru," i onda je Ron Milo rekao: "Hajde da koristimo ogroman papir za arhitektonski dizajn, znam gde se to štampa," odštampali smo veze, pogledali ih, i tada smo došli do našeg najbitnijeg otkrića, da je ovaj komplikovani sistem zapravo sastavljen od šačice jednostavnih, interaktivnih šablona koji se ponavljaju, kao motivi na vitražu. Zovemo ih motivima mreže, i to su osnovna kola koja nam pomažu da razumemo način na koji ćelije donose odluke u svim organizmima, uključujući naše telo.
Soon enough, after this, I started being invited to give talks to thousands of scientists across the world, but the knowledge about the cloud and saying "Yes, and" just stayed within my own lab, because you see, in science, we don't talk about the process, anything subjective or emotional. We talk about the results. So there was no way to talk about it in conferences. That was unthinkable. And I saw scientists in other groups get stuck without even having a word to describe what they're seeing, and their ways of thinking narrowed down to very safe paths, their science didn't reach its full potential, and they were miserable. I thought, that's the way it is. I'll try to make my lab as creative as possible, and if everybody else does the same, science will eventually become more and more better and better.
Nedugo potom, pozvan sam da držim govore hiljadama naučnika širom sveta, ali znanje o oblaku i navika da se kaže "Da, i" ostali su samo u mojoj laboratoriji, jer vidite, u nauci ne pričamo o procesu, nečemu subjektivnom ili emotivnom. Pričamo o rezultatima. Tako da se o tome ne može pričati na konferencijama. Bilo je nezamislivo. I viđao sam kako se naučnici u drugim grupama zaglavljuju se bez i reči opisa o tome šta vide, i na koji način razmišljaju, svedeni su na sigurne staze i njihova nauka nije ostvarila pun potencijal i bili su veoma nezadovoljni. I pomislio sam, tako to ide. Pokušaću da učinim svoju laboratoriju što kreativnijom i ako svi budu to isto radili, nauka će vremenom postati sve bolja i bolja.
That way of thinking got turned on its head when by chance I went to hear Evelyn Fox Keller give a talk about her experiences as a woman in science. And she asked, "Why is it that we don't talk about the subjective and emotional aspects of doing science? It's not by chance. It's a matter of values." You see, science seeks knowledge that's objective and rational. That's the beautiful thing about science. But we also have a cultural myth that the doing of science, what we do every day to get that knowledge, is also only objective and rational, like Mr. Spock. And when you label something as objective and rational, automatically, the other side, the subjective and emotional, become labeled as non-science or anti-science or threatening to science, and we just don't talk about it. And when I heard that, that science has a culture, everything clicked into place for me, because if science has a culture, culture can be changed, and I can be a change agent working to change the culture of science wherever I could. And so the very next lecture I gave in a conference, I talked about my science, and then I talked about the importance of the subjective and emotional aspects of doing science and how we should talk about them, and I looked at the audience, and they were cold. They couldn't hear what I was saying in the context of a 10 back-to-back PowerPoint presentation conference. And I tried again and again, conference after conference, but I wasn't getting through. I was in the cloud.
Taj način razmišljanja se okončao kada sam slučajno otišao da čujem Evelin Foks Keler kako govori o svom iskustvu žene u svetu nauke. Pitala je: "Zašto ne pročamo o subjektivnim i emotivnim aspektima bavljenja naukom? To nije slučajno. Stvar je u vrednostima." Vidite, nauka teži ka znanju koje je objektivno i racionalno. To je predivna stvar u nauci. Ali sa druge strane imamo kulturološki mit da je bavljenje naukom, ono što radimo na dnevnoj bazi da dođemo do tog znanja, takođe objektivno i racionalno, kao gospodin Spok. A kada obeležite nešto kao objektivno i racionalno, automatski, sa druge strane, subjektivno i emotivno postaje obeleženo kao nenaučno ili kao pretnja nauci, i o tome se prosto ne priča. I kada sam to čuo, da nauku prati kultura, sve je došlo na svoje mesto, jer ako nauku prati kultura, kultura može biti promenjena, i ja mogu biti agent promene radeći na tome da promenim kulturu nauke na koji god mogu način. I na prvom sledećem predavanju pričao sam o svom pogledu na nauku, a onda o važnosti subjektivnih i emotivnih aspekta nauke i kako bi trebalo pričati o tome, i pogledao sam publiku, i bili su hladni. Nisu mogli da čuju šta govorim u kontekstu 10 uzastopnih PowerPoint prezentacija. I nastavio sam da pokušavam, konferenciju za konferencijom, ali nisam dopirao do njih. Bio sam u oblaku.
And eventually I managed to get out the cloud using improvisation and music. Since then, every conference I go to, I give a science talk and a second, special talk called "Love and fear in the lab," and I start it off by doing a song about scientists' greatest fear, which is that we work hard, we discover something new, and somebody else publishes it before we do. We call it being scooped, and being scooped feels horrible. It makes us afraid to talk to each other, which is no fun, because we came to science to share our ideas and to learn from each other, and so I do a blues song, which — (Applause) — called "Scooped Again," and I ask the audience to be my backup singers, and I tell them, "Your text is 'Scoop, Scoop.'" It sounds like this: "Scoop, scoop!" Sounds like this.
Na kraju sam uspeo da izađem iz oblaka koristeći improvizaciju i muziku. Od tada, na svakom predavanju, održim naučno predavanje i još jedno, specijalno predavanje sa imenom "Ljubav i strah u laboratoriji" i počinjem sa pesmom o najvećem strahu naučnika, a to je da vredno radimo, otkrijemo nešto novo a neko drugi to objavi pre nas. To zovemo krađom, a krađa je užasna. Čini da se plašimo da pričamo jedan sa drugim što je bezveze, jer smo počeli da se bavimo naukom da bismo delili ideje i da bismo učili jedni od drugih, i onda otpevam bluz pesmu, koja - (Aplauz) - se zove "Ponovo pokraden," i tražim od publike da mi budu pomoćni vokali, i kažem im, "Vaš tekst je "Krađa, krađa." Zvuči ovako : "Krađa, krađa" Ide ovako.
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
♪ Ponovo sam pokraden ♪
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
♪ Krađa, krađa! ♪
And then we go for it.
I onda krenemo.
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
♪ Ponovo sam pokraden ♪
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
♪ Krađa, krađa! ♪
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
♪Ponovo sam pokraden♪
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
♪ Krađa, krađa! ♪
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
♪ Ponovo sam pokraden ♪
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
♪ Krađa, krađa! ♪
♪ I've been scooped again ♪
♪ Ponovo sam pokraden ♪
♪ Scoop! Scoop! ♪
♪ Krađa, krađa! ♪
♪ Oh mama, can't you feel my pain ♪
♪ O mama, zar ne osećaš moj bol ♪
♪ Heavens help me, I've been scooped again ♪ (Applause)
♪ Nebesa, pomozite, ponovo sam pokraden ♪ (Aplauz)
Thank you. Thank you for your backup singing.
Hvala. Hvala na pomoćnim vokalima.
So everybody starts laughing, starts breathing, notices that there's other scientists around them with shared issues, and we start talking about the emotional and subjective things that go on in research. It feels like a huge taboo has been lifted. Finally, we can talk about this in a scientific conference. And scientists have gone on to form peer groups where they meet regularly and create a space to talk about the emotional and subjective things that happen as they're mentoring, as they're going into the unknown, and even started courses about the process of doing science, about going into the unknown together, and many other things.
I svi se smeju, počnu da dišu, primećuju druge naučnike oko njih sa istim problemima, i počnemo da pričamo o emotivnim i subjektivnim stvarima u istraživanju. I čini se kao da je ogroman tabu nestao. Napokon, možemo pričati o tome na naučnoj konferenciji. I naučnici su počeli da formiraju grupe koje se redovno sreću i daju prostora da se priča o emotivnim i subjektivnim stvarima koje se dešavaju mentorima dok idu u nepoznato i čak su započeli kurseve o procesu bavljenja naukom, o zajedničkom odlasku u nepoznato, i mnogim drugim stvarima.
So my vision is that, just like every scientist knows the word "atom," that matter is made out of atoms, every scientist would know the words like "the cloud," saying "Yes, and," and science will become much more creative, make many, many more unexpected discoveries for the benefit of us all, and would also be much more playful. And what I might ask you to remember from this talk is that next time you face a problem you can't solve in work or in life, there's a word for what you're going to see: the cloud. And you can go through the cloud not alone but together with someone who is your source of support to say "Yes, and" to your ideas, to help you say "Yes, and" to your own ideas, to increase the chance that, through the wisps of the cloud, you'll find that moment of calmness where you get your first glimpse of your unexpected discovery, your C.
Stoga je moja vizija da, kao što svaki naučnik zna za reč "atom," da je materija sastavljena od atoma, svaki naučnik na svetu zna reči "oblak" i "Da, i" i nauka će postati mnogo kreativnija, doći će se do mnogo neočekivanih otkrića u korist svih nas, i bila bi mnogo zabavnija. I ono što bih zatražio da zapamtite iz ovog predavanja je da kada se sledeći put sretnete sa nerešivim problemom na poslu ili u životu, postoji reč za to što vidite. Oblak. I možete proći kroz taj oblak ne sami, već zajedno sa nekim ko vas podržava rekavši "Da, i" vašim idejama, da vam pomogne da kažete "Da, i" sopstvenim idejama i poveća šansu da kroz pramenove oblaka nađete momenat mira u kome po prvi put nazrete vaše neočekivano otkriće, vaše C.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)