So, I have a friend. She's an actress, she's in her 60s. She's super bright, badass, emotionally intelligent. And a couple of days before Christmas, she was at the post office. It was really crowded, as it is around the holidays, and she was filling out some forms and she was really focused. And out of nowhere, someone moved her out of the way -- just physically put their hands on her and moved her out of the way. He apparently needed something that she was blocking, so he moved her. Maybe he had said something to her, maybe he didn't, she didn't hear it ... Either way, she was focused, she was filling out the form. And the next thing you know, there were hands on her, and she was being moved out of the way. He then got what he was reaching for, whatever she was blocking, and went on his merry way.
那麼,我有一個朋友。 她是一位演員,六十多歲。 她很活潑, 是個倔脾氣, 在情感方面很有智慧。 而在聖誕節的幾天前,她在郵局。 那裡很擁擠,因為正是假日時節, 而她正在填寫一些表格, 全神貫注。 不知從哪裡冒出來一個人, 將她挪開了── 真的把手放在她身上,將她移開了。 他顯然需要一些被她擋住的東西, 所以他移動了她。 或許他對她說了一些話, 或許他沒有,她沒有聽到…… 不管怎麼說,她正全神貫注, 填寫她的表格。 突然有隻手在她身上, 而她被挪開了。 他隨即拿到了他想拿的東西, 她擋住的那個東西, 隨即繼續他的快樂之路。
She said that she was shocked at first -- yeah. And then a fury rose up in her that she could not explain: not annoyance, not frustration, but "fury" was the word that she used. And she went on to say, "I mean, I wanted to get physical. I don't know -- I was furious. And I don't know why. I mean, he didn't hit me. He didn't hurt me, he didn't violate me. He moved me, and I wanted to hurt him, or at the very least, run after him and yell in his face."
她說,一開始她感到震驚── 是啊。 然後她感受到一種憤怒, 連她自己都無法解釋: 不是煩惱, 不是失望, 而她用的詞是「憤怒」。 她接著說: 「我的意思是,我想要肢體攻擊他。 我不知道──我很氣憤。 而我不知道為什麼。 我是說,他沒有打我。 他沒有傷害我, 他沒有冒犯我。 他移動了我, 而我想打他, 或者至少, 追著他跑然後對著 他的臉大喊大叫。」
So later, I was left pondering this fury, and looking for an explanation as to why, even in her telling of it, I felt fury, too, and why this was a word and a feeling that I was hearing a lot about lately. I feel like this is the point in the room where all the men are getting a little bit uncomfortable.
所以之後,我在思考這個憤怒, 並且嘗試著解釋為什麼, 即使在她的講述中, 我也感受到憤怒, 為什麼這是我最近經常聽到的 一個詞和一種感覺? 我感覺在這一刻的房間裡, 所有的男人都感到有一點不舒服。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
It's OK. Stay with me.
沒關係。 忍耐一下。
This fury is something that I have been chomping on since the last US presidential election. And it seems that many women have. This fury was not my friend's alone. Her fury was ignited by lifetimes of men helping themselves to women's bodies without consent. There's a culture of men helping themselves to women, and in this case, in a seemingly innocuous way, where a woman's body is like a saltshaker: "Get out of the way so I can get to the fries" --
這種憤怒是自 上次美國總統大選以來 我一直在嘮叨的事情。 而且似乎很多女性都有。 並非只我的朋友一個人有這種憤怒。 她的憤怒是被幾代以来 男性在未經同意的情況下 擅自操弄女性的身體 而點燃的。 有一種男性擅自操弄女性的文化, 而在這個例子裡, 以一種看似無害的方式, 一個女人的身體被當做一個鹽瓶: 「讓一下,這樣我就可以 拿到薯條了」──
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
to the most egregious, violent and horrific situations.
到另一個極端、 暴力 和可怕的情況。
I imagine that some of you are wondering what the connection is between the innocuous and the horrific, two things that seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum. Well, the common thread is the spectrum. The innocuous makes space for the horrific. And women have to live with the effects of both and everything in between.
我想你們中的一些人或許想知道 在無害和可怕之間的聯繫, 它們兩個看起來完全相反, 處在光譜的兩頭。 那麼,共同的聯繫便是那個光譜。 無害的舉動為更可怕的 舉動提供了空間。 而女人必須同時忍受這兩方面的影響 以及在二者之間的一切。
Fellas, can you imagine you're just on your phone, and someone walks up to you and just takes it out of your hand? And they're like, "OK dude, I don't know why you're getting so upset, I want to make a phone call. I'm going to give it back to you as soon as I'm done. Whatever." And then imagine if someone takes that cell phone out of your hands -- I don't know -- once a day, twice a day, random times. And the explanation is, "Yeah, well, I mean, you got a fancy case," or "You shouldn't have taken it out of your pocket," or "Yep. Yeah. That's just the way it is." But somehow, no one ever talks about the person who took the cell phone. Overly simplified, I get it, but you see where I'm going. Men are so used to helping themselves, that it's like ... they can't help themselves. And not because men are fundamentally less moral, but because this is a very big blind spot for most men.
朋友們, 能否想像一下,你正在看手機, 然後有個人向你走來, 直接從你手上把它拿走了? 而他們說,「行了,老兄, 我不知道你為何這麼不高興, 我想打個電話, 一旦打完以後我會立即還給你。 隨你。」 然後想像一下 如果有人從你手中拿走手機, 我不知道──每天一次, 每天兩次, 隨便幾次。 而他們給出的解釋是, 「是啊,嗯,我是說, 你的手機殼很獨特。」 或者「你不應該 從口袋裡把它拿出來」, 或者「對。是的。 事情就是那樣子的。」 但不知何故,從來沒有人 談論過把手機拿走的人。 我明白,這是過度簡化, 但你們知道我在講什麼。 男人太過習慣於「自便」, 就好像…… 他們控制不住自己似的。 而這並不是因為男人天生更不道德, 而是因為,這是絕大多數 男人的一個盲點。
When someone helps themselves to a woman, it not only triggers discomfort and distress, but the unspoken experiences of our mothers' lives, sisters' lives and generations of women before us. That's lifetimes of women dealing with men who assume they know better for us than we know for ourselves, being the property of husbands, landowners, and having old, white men tell us the fate of our lady parts; lifetimes of having our bodies used for love and objects of desire, instead of bodies that we get to wield and use as we choose; lifetimes of knowing that whether we play by their rules or not, we still have to tolerate harassment, assault and even worse; lifetimes of our bodies being used as property that can be hit and hurt, manipulated and moved and like objects that are not deserving of respect; lifetimes of not being able to express the anger of our bodies. It's no wonder we feel this fury. And if you add in the history of race -- which is a whole other talk -- it gets exponentially more complicated.
當一個人擅自決定對女人 動手動腳時, 它不僅會引發不適和痛苦, 還會帶出那些沒有說出口的經歷。 是我們母親的生活,姐妹的生活, 以及我們之前幾代的女人所經歷的。 幾代以來的女人,在她們的一生中 都在與自以為比我們 更了解自己的男人打交道, 作為丈夫的財產, 地主的財產, 並且由老白人來告訴我們 身上器官的天命; 幾代人以來,我們的身體 被當作愛和欲望的物件, 而非我們自己 能夠選擇如何使用的身體。 幾代女人的一生中, 我們知道不管我們 是否遵守他們的規則, 我們都仍然需要忍受騷擾、 侵犯, 甚至更糟; 幾輩子以來我們的身體被當做 能被擊打和傷害的財產, 被操縱和移動, 就像不值得尊重的物件一樣; 幾輩子以來, 我們無法表達出我們身體的氣憤。 難怪我們會感到這種憤怒。 而如果你加上種族的歷史── 這是另一個完整的話題── 事情的複雜性會指數性增長。
When women get manhandled, we start to rationalize, try to figure out the ways that it was -- "It was probably our fault. You know what? He probably said something, and I didn't hear him. I'm just overreacting. I'm totally overreacting." No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. Women have been trained to think that we are overreacting or that we're being too sensitive or unreasonable. We try to make sense of nonsense, and we swallow the furious feelings. We try to put them into some hidden place in our minds, but they don't go away. That fury sits deep inside as we practice our smiles -- (Giggling) "Yes, of course" -- and try to be pleasant. "I know --" (Giggling) "Yes, yes, of course," because apparently, women aren't supposed to get angry.
當女人被男人擺佈時, 我們會理性分析, 嘗試著找出到底發生了什麼── 「或許是我們的錯。」 「你知道嗎?他可能說過什麼, 不過我沒有聽見。」 「我只是反應過度了。」 「我完全就是反應過度了。」 不。 不。 不。 不,不,不,不,不。 女性一直在被訓練著 去認為自己是反應過激,大驚小怪, 或者我們太過敏感,毫不講理。 我們試圖找出毫無意義之事的意義, 而我們吞嚥下這些憤怒的感受。 我們嘗試著將它們放進 我們腦海中的隱藏空間, 但它們並沒有離開。 那憤怒藏在內心深處, 當我們練習微笑的時候── (笑聲)「是的,當然」── 並試著變得討人喜歡; 「我知道──」(笑聲) 「是的,是的,當然。」 因為很明顯,女人不應該生氣。
That fury that my friend felt holds centuries of never being able to directly address or express our indignation, our frustration and our rage. When someone thinks they can help themselves to our bodies, it not only ignites the current fury, but it lights up the past. What seems like a benign moment at the post office is actually an anger grenade. Well, kaboom!
我的朋友感受到的那憤怒, 包含了幾個世紀以來的 無法直接說出或表達我們的憤慨, 我們的不滿, 和我們的憤怒。 當某個人認為他們可以 隨自己的意思擺弄我們的身體時, 這不僅點燃了我們現在的怒火, 也點燃了過去。 在郵局看似無害的一刻, 實際上是一顆憤怒的手榴彈。 好吧, 砰!
Today, the global collection of women's experiences can no longer be ignored. Time's up on thinking that we're overreacting or "This is just the way it is." Time's up on women being held responsible for men's bad behavior. It is men's responsibility to change men's bad behavior.
今天,全球女性的經歷 再也不能被忽視了。 認為我們反應過度 或「事情就是這樣」的 時代已經結束了。 女性要為男性的不良行為負責的時代 已經結束了。 改變男性的壞行為是男人的責任。
(Applause)
(掌聲)
Our culture is shifting, and it's time. So my fellow women and our gentle men, as we are here together within this particular window of this large-scale movement towards women's equality, and as we envision a future that does not yet exist, we both have different invitations.
我們的文化在改變, 而這就是時候。 所以,我的女性夥伴們, 和我們的男士們, 當我們在這個 特殊的窗口中聚在一起, 在這一大規模的女性平等運動中, 以及當我們展望一個 尚不存在的未來時, 我們都收到不同的邀請函。
Men, I call you in as allies, as we work together towards change. May you be accountable and self-reflective, compassionate and open. May you ask how you can support a woman and be of service to change. And may you get help if you need it.
男士們, 我請求你們加入成為盟友, 讓我們共同努力實現變革。 願你有責任感並會自我反省, 富有同情心,並心胸開闊。 希望你可以問問 如何才能支持一個女人, 並且願意為改變而幫助, 如果你需要幫助, 希望你能夠得到幫助。
And women, I encourage you to acknowledge your fury. Give it language. Share it in safe places of identification and in safe ways. Your fury is not something to be afraid of. It holds lifetimes of wisdom. Let it breathe and listen.
而女士們, 我鼓勵你們 承認你們的憤怒。 用語言表達它。 在安全的地方,用安全的方法 將它分享出來。 你的憤怒並不是什麼 值得害怕的東西。 它承載了幾輩人的智慧反思。 讓它自由呼吸, 並且用心聽著。
Thank you.
謝謝。
(Applause) Thank you. (Applause)
(掌聲) 謝謝。 (掌聲)