Last year, I got a chance to watch the new "Star Wars" movie, which was fantastic, but one thing kept bugging me. I don't know if you noticed this or not. In this entirely technically advanced world, I did not see a single AED anywhere, which was totally shocking -- almost as shocking as not knowing what an AED is, which you guys do know. But for those at home, an AED is an automated external defibrillator. It's the device you use when your heart goes into cardiac arrest to shock it back into a normal rhythm, or, as one of the guys I was teaching a class to referred to it as: "The shocky-hearty-box thing."
Mwaka jana, niliweza kutazama sinema mpya ya "Star Wars", ilifana sana, ila kitu kimoja kimenisumbua sana. Sijui kama nyinyi mmekiona au la katika ulimwengu huu wa kitekinolojia, sikuona hata AED moja pahala popote kitu ambacho kilishangaza sana cha kushangaza kama kutokujua AED ni nini ambayo nyinyi mwafahamu Lakini kwa walio nyumbani AED ni kifaa cha kupima na kurekebisha mapigo ya moyo ni kifaa unachotumia upatapo mshtuko wa moyo, kuurudisha katika mapigo ya kawaida, au kama mwanafunzi wangu mmoja alipenda kukiita "Sanduku la moyo unaoshtuka"
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
But I really can't blame the Empire, since health and safety regulations aren't really their first order of business. Though, even if we -- I think worse than not having an AED would be if there was one there, but just, no one knew where to find it. These devices can drastically increase your chance of survival -- almost like a tauntaun on Hoth.
Lakini kwa kweli siwezi kuulaumu utawala sababu kanuni za afya na usalama hakika si mambo ya kipaumbele kwao Ingawa, hata kama tuta -- Nafikiri kibaya kuliko kukosa AED kingekuwa kama ingekuwepo moja pale lakini, hakuna anayejua wapi inapatikana Vifaa hivi vinaweza kwa kiasi kikubwa kuongeza nafasi yako ya kuishi - yaani kama mijusi ya Hoth.
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
But I'm pretty sure that stormtrooper is going to be toast, regardless if we have an AED or not, since what happens is the chest plate is going to be quite hard to get off, and like that tauntaun, the AED has a very short window of time at which it's highly effective. In this case -- basically, we've got to use it within the first 10 minutes.
Lakini nina uhakika stormtrooper atakauka tu, vyovyote vile tuwe na AED ama la sababu kitakachotokea ni kuwa vazi la kifuani litakuwa gumu kulivua na kama yule mjusi AED ina muda mfupi sana kuweza kuwa na ufanisi Kwa muktadha huu -- kimsingi, tunatakiwa kuitumia ndani ya dakika 10 za kwanza
The Jedi, on the other hand, have no problems with their outfits. Those robes open straight up, you can place the pads right onto the chest -- so upper-right-hand side of the chest, lower left, wait for the unit to determine if it's a shockable rhythm and get ready to shock. But, the Jedi do have a problem. They have a head appendage issue. And so I can be totally clear, thinking I'm ready to go, but I'm accidentally touching a tentacle and inadvertently shocking myself.
Jedi, kwa upande mwingine, hawana matatizo na mavazi yao Mavazi yale hufunguka moja kwa moja juu unaweza kuweka pedi moja kwa moja kifuani kwa hiyo upande wa juu-kulia wa kifua, chini kushoto subiria kifaa kibaini kama ni mapigo yanayoweza kushtuliwa na kuwa tayari kushtua Lakini, Jedi wana tatizo. Wana minyiri vichwani. Kwa hiyo naweza kuwa nafikiri niko tayari lakini bahati mbaya nikagusa mnyiri na ghafla nikajishtua mwenyewe.
(Laughter)
[Kicheko]
So before you hit that button, make sure you are clear and everyone else is clear.
Kwa hiyo kabla hujabonyeza kile kitufe, hakikisha uko salama na kila mtu yuko salama
Going back to that stormtrooper: If I did get that chest plate off in time, what would you do if you suddenly found there was a Wookiee under there, or possibly two Ewoks?
Tukirudi kwa stormtrooper kama ningeweza kutoa lile vazi la kifuani ndani ya muda utafanyaje kama ghafla utakuta kuna Wookiee mule ndani [Kicheko] au pengine Ewok mmoja au wawili?
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
Well, lucky for us, in the kit there's actually a razor, and we can use that to shave the chest on the upper right-hand side and the lower left.
Naam, bahati nzuri kwetu, ndani ya kisanduku kuna wembe, na tunaweza kuutumia kunyoa nywele za kifuani za upande wa juu kulia na chini kushoto.
Wookiees also have another problem. They have an accessory issue. What we want to do is remove these -- anything between the two pads we want to remove, since it can cause something called "arcing." For those who don't know what arcing is, do you remember the Emperor, when he shoots electricity out the ends of his fingers --
Wookiees pia wana tatizo jingine. Wana viambata vingi. Tunachotaka kufanya ni kuviondoa -- chochote kati ya pedi mbili tunataka kukiondoa sababu kinaweza kusababisha kitu kinaitwa "shoti ya umeme" Kwa wale wasiojua shoti, mnamkumbuka Mfalme, anaporusha umeme kutoka ncha za vidole vyake -- [Kicheko]
(Laughter)
ule ndio mfano wa shoti ya umeme
that would be kind of like arcing. Another thing that -- Oh! By the way, he creates that by wearing wool socks under his robes.
Kitu kingine -- Oh! Pamoja na hayo, anafanya vile kwa kuvaa soksi ya sufu kwenye vazi lake (Kicheko)
(Laughter)
Tunaweza pia kupata shoti ya umeme kama tuna kifua kilicholowana sana
We can also get arcing if we have an extremely wet chest. The electricity travels across the surface instead of through the heart. We can correct this with the immortal words of Douglas Adams: "Don't panic," which most of us have done today -- and also always having a towel. So, good words to go by.
Umeme utatembea juu ya kifua badala ya kupitia kwenye moyo. Tunaweza kurekebisha hii kwa maneno yasiyosahaulika ya Douglas Adams "Usihofu" ambavyo wengi wetu tumefanya leo -- na pia daima kuwa na taulo. Hivyo, maneno mazuri ya kukumbuka.
The metal bikini -- unfortunately, this is where panic sets in -- like the modern bra, we have to make sure we remove, because this can cause severe arcing along with burns. But unfortunately this opens up an issue that's almost as controversial as talking about the prequels.
Bikini ya chuma -- bahati mbaya, hapa ndipo hofu huanza -- kama sidiria ya kisasa, tunatakiwa kuhakikisha tumeondoa, kwa sababu hii inaweza kusababisha shoti kubwa pamoja na kuungua. Lakini kwa bahati mbaya hii inafungua mjadala mwingine ambalo ni wa utata kama kuongelea matukio ya awali
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
The mere mention of the word "nipples," and people get into a little bit of a tizzy. By the way, that is not a nipple, that's a cupcake.
Kutaja tu neno "chuchu," watu wanapagawa Pamoja na hayo, ile siyo chuchu, ile ni keki ndogo.
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
Chances are, if you do have to use this, this is going to be on someone you know. And remember, everyone has nipples, except for Jabba.
Uwezekano ni kuwa, kama utahitaji kukitumia, itakuwa kwa mtu unayemfahamu. Na kumbuka kila mtu ana chuchu, isipokuwa kwa Jabba.
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
But he does love cupcakes. Speaking about Jabba, if we do have to use an AED on him, remember pad placement is the same, even though he doesn't have nipples. So it's going to be upper right-hand side, lower left. If we were going through, we're shocking, getting ready to go -- after we've done the shock, one of the things we need to do is remember to do compression. The preferred method is 30 compressions and two breaths in the center of the chest, between the nipples, pressing down at least two inches, no more than two and a half, at a rate of at least 100 beats a minute, no more than 120. Unfortunately, due to the size of Jabba's mouth and also what he puts in said mouth, we may not want to actually do the mouth-to-mouth part. So instead, we can do compression-only CPR. The way of remembering the compression-only part is we can actually use the Imperial March.
Lakini anapenda keki ndogo. Kumwongelea Jabba, ikiwa tunatakiwa kutumia AED kwake, kumbuka uwekaji wa pedi ni ule ule, ingawa hana chuchu. Kwa hiyo itakuwa upande wa juu kulia, chini kushoto Kama tunaendelea na zoezi, tunakuwa tayari Tukimaliza kushtua, kitu tunachopaswa kufanya kumbuka ni kumkandamiza Njia nzuri ni kukandamiza mara 30 kumpa pumzi mara mbili katikati ya kifua, kati ya chuchu, kukandamiza chini angalau inchi mbili, si zaidi ya mbili na nusu, kwa kiwango cha angalau mapigo 100 kwa dakika, si zaidi ya 120. Bahati mbaya, kutokana na ukubwa wa mdomo wa Jabba na pia anachoweka mdomoni, tunaweza tusitake kufanya sehemu ya mdomo-kwa-mdomo. Badala yake tunaweza kufanya CPR ya mkandamizo pekee. Njia ya kukumbuka sehemu ya mgandamizo pekee tunaweza kutumia tuni ya Gwaride la Kifalme
I would sing it for you --
Ningewaimbia
(Laughter)
[Kicheko]
Unfortunately, that would be more something an interrogation droid would do.
Kwa bahati mbaya, hiyo ingeweza kufanywa sana sana na roboti wa mahojiano.
Yoda. Small little guy, like a baby. What we do is basically treat him like a baby, in the sense that we're going to place one pad in the center of the chest and one in the back. If we place them both in the front, they can be too close and cause severe arcing, so we want to avoid that.
Yoda. Kajamaa kadogo, kama katoto. Tunachofanya, kimsingi ni kumchukulia kama mtoto Kwa maana ya kuwa tunaweka pedi moja katikati ya kifua na moja nyuma. Kama tutaweka zote mbele, zinaweza kuwa karibu sana zikasababisha shoti kubwa kwa hiyo tunataka kuepuka hiyo.
Hopefully, this helped to clarify and put some light on some of the darker issues of using an AED in the Star Wars universe, or any universe in total.
Natumaini, hii imesaidia kufafanua na kuleta mwanga kwa maswala yaliyokuwa kiza juu ya kutumia AED katika ulimwengu wa "Star Wars" au ulimwengu wowote kwa ujumla.
I'll leave you with one point. Remember, if you do find yourself dealing with a Wookiee, do not shave the entire Wookiee. This takes way too much time, and it only pisses them off.
Nawaacha na jambo moja. Kumbuka, kama utajikuta unashughulika na Wookiee Usimnyoe mwili mzima. Hii itachukua muda mwingi sana, na itawakasirisha.
(Laughter)
(Kicheko)
Thank you very much.
Asanteni sana.
(Applause)
[Makofi na Vifijo]