Tiq Milan: Our first conversation was on Facebook, and it was three days long.
Tik Milan: Naš prvi razgovor je bio na Fejsbuku i trajao je tri dana.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
We shared over 3,000 messages between us, and it was during those 72 hours that I knew she was going to be my wife. We didn't wait any prerequisite amount of time for our courtship; we told each other the vulnerable truths up front: I am a transgender man, which means the F on my birth certificate should have stood for "False," instead of "Female."
Razmenili smo međusobno preko 3000 poruka, i tokom ta 72 sata sam shvatio da će da mi bude supruga. Nismo čekali na očekivanu količinu vremena za naše udvaranje; unapred smo jedno drugom rekli ranjive istine: ja sam transrodni muškarac, što će reći da bi Ž na mom izvodu trebalo da predstavlja "živa neistina" umesto "ženski".
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Walking around as a woman in the world felt like walking with pebbles in my shoes. It took the rhythm out of my swagger, it threw me off balance, it pained me with every step I took forward. But today I'm a man of my own intention; a man of my own design.
Dok sam hodao kroz svet kao žena osećao sam kao da hodam s kamenčićima u cipelama. Moje geganje je bilo bez ritma, gubio sam ravnotežu, svaki korak napred me je boleo. Ali danas sam po sopstvenoj volji muškarac; muškarac po sopstvenoj kreaciji.
Kim Katrin Milan: I am a cisgender queer woman. Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth is still and has always been female. This doesn't make me natural or normal, this is just one way of describing the many different ways that we exist in this world. And queer is a cultural term, but in this case, it refers to the way that I'm not restricted by gender when it comes to choosing partners. I've identified in a few different ways -- as a bisexual, as a lesbian -- but for me, queerness encompasses all of the layers of who I am and how I've loved. I'm layers, and not fractions. And for me, the fact that he was queer meant that I could trust his courtship from the very beginning.
Kim Katrin Milan: Ja sam cisrodna kvir žena. Cisrodnost znači da rod koji mi je određen po rođenju još uvek jeste i uvek je bio ženski. Zbog toga nisam prirodna ili normalna, to je samo jedan od načina da se opišu brojni različiti načini na koje postojimo u svetu. A kvir je kulturološki termin, ali u ovom slučaju se odnosi na to da nisam ograničena rodom kada se radi o izboru partnera. Određuju me na nekoliko različitih načina - kao biseksualku, kao lezbejku - ali što se mene tiče biti kvir obuhvata sve slojeve onoga ko sam i kako volim. Ja sam od slojeva, a ne od frakcija. A za mene je činjenica da je on kvir značila da mogu da verujem njegovom udvaranju od samog početka.
As queer and trans people, we're so often excluded from institutions and traditions. We create spaces outside of convention, including the conventions of time. And in those 3,000 messages between us, we collapsed time; we queered it; we laid it all on the table.
Kao kvir i transrodni ljudi prečesto nas isključuju iz institucija i tradicija. Stvaramo prostore van konvencija, uključujući konvencije vremena. A u tih 3000 poruka između nas, zaustavili smo vreme; iskrivili smo ga; sve smo izneli na čistac.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
With no pretense at all. And this meant that we were able to commit to each other in a profoundly different way.
Bez ikakvog pretvaranja. To znači da smo bili u stanju da se posvetimo jedno drugom na istinski različite načine.
So often what we're told is this idea of the "Golden Rule," that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated. But the problem with that is that it assumes that we are the standard for other people, and we're not. We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated, which means we had to ask. I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed was the same kind of love that I needed. So I asked him everything -- about his fears, his insecurities -- and we started from there.
Prečesto nam govore o nekakvoj ideji "zlatnog pravila", da bi trebalo da tretiramo druge kako želimo da se prema nama odnose. No problem s tim je u pretpostavci da smo mi standard za druge ljude, a nismo. Moramo da tretiramo druge kako oni žele da se odnosimo prema njima, što znači da moramo da pitamo. Nisam pretpostavljala da je ljubav koja je potrebna Tiku ista ona koja je potrebna meni. Pa sam ga pitala o svemu - o njegovim strahovima, nesigurnostima - i počeli smo odatle.
TM: I didn't know what kind of love I needed. I had just come out of a year-long fog of being rejected and utterly depleted. I had someone look me in my eyes and tell me that I was unworthy of their love because I was trans. And there's a culture of lovelessness that we've created around transgender people. It's reasoned, justified and often signed into law. And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message, that I wasn't worthy. But Kim said that I was her ideal -- the heartbroken mess that I was.
TM: Nisam znao kakva mi je ljubav potrebna. Upravo sam bio izašao iz jednogodišnje magle, bio sam odbačen i krajnje iscrpljen. Neko me je pogledao u oči i rekao mi da nisam vredan njegove ljubavi jer sam transrodan. I postoji kultura odsustva ljubavi koju smo stvorili oko transrodnih ljudi. Ona je obrazložena, opravdana i često zakonski regulisana. I bio sam za dlaku daleko od internalizacije te poruke da sam bezvredan. No Kim je rekla da sam njoj idealan - takav nered slomljenog srca.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
KKM: He totally was my ideal.
KKM: Skroz je bio idealan.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
In more ways than one. Both poets, writers, creatives with a long history of community work behind us, and big, huge dreams of a family in front of us, we shared a lot of things in common, but we were also incredibly different. I've been a lifelong traveler and a bit of an orphan, whereas he comes from a huge family, and definitely stays grounded. I often kind of sum up the differences in our strengths by saying, "Keep me safe, and I'll keep you wild."
Na više načina. I kao pesnici, pisci, kreativci s dugom istorijom rada u zajednici iza nas i s velikim, ogromnim snovima o porodici ispred nas, mnogo toga nam je bilo zajedničko, ali smo bili i neverovatno različiti. Ja sam čitav život bila putnica i na neki način siroče, dok on potiče iz ogromne porodice i definitivno je usidren. Često sumiram razlike u našim jačim stranama rečima: "Pruži mi bezbednost i ja ću ti pružiti slobodu."
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
TM: We have marginalized identities but we don't live marginalized lives. Being queer and trans is about creating new ways of existing. It's about loving people as they are, not as they're supposed to be. Kim is unapologetically feminine in a world that is often cruel and violent to women who are too proud and too freeing. And I didn't enter into this union under the auspices that she was going to be my helper or my rib, but a fully complex --
TM: Imamo marginalizovane identitete, ali ne živimo marginalizovane živote. Kad ste kvir i transrodni radi se o stvaranju novih vidova postojanja. O tome da volite ljude kakvi jesu, a ne kakvi bi trebalo da budu. Kim je ženstvena bez pardona u svetu koji je često okrutan i nasilan prema ženama koje su suviše ponosne i slobodne. I ja nisam ušao u ovu zajednicu pod pretpostavkom da će ona da mi bude pomoćnik ili rebro, već krajnje složeno -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
KKM: Right? That's not right.
KKM: Zar ne? To nije ispravno.
TM: But a fully complex human being whose femininity wasn't for me to rein in, control or critique. It's her brilliance, the way she leads with compassion, and how she never loses sight of her empathy. She has been my hero since day one.
TM: Već krajnje složeno ljudsko biće čija ženstvenost nije tu da bih njome vladao, upravljao ili je kritikovao. To je njena briljantnost, način na koji predvodi saosećajno i kako nikad ne gubi iz vida svoju empatiju. Od prvog dana je bila moj heroj.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
KKM: Our relationship has always been about setting each other free. One of the first questions I asked him was what dreams he had left to accomplish, and how would I help him get there. His dreams to live as a poet, to adopt and raise a family together, to live a life that he was proud of, and one that would live up to his mother's incredible legacy. And I really appreciated that we were able to start from that place, and not from a place that was around figuring out how to make each other work together. And I think this really allowed us to grow into the people that we were in a way that was incredibly different. I love him whole; pre-transition, now and in the future. And it's this love that had us committed to each other before we'd even seen each other's faces.
KKM: Naš odnos je oduvek bio o oslobađanju jedno drugog. Među prvim pitanjima koje sam ga pitala je bilo koje snove nije još uvek ostvario i kako da mu pomognem da u tome uspe. Njegovi snovi da živi kao pesnik, da usvoji i podigne porodicu sa mnom, da živi život na koji je ponosan i koji će dosegnuti neverovatno zaveštanje njegove majke. I ja sam zaista cenila to što smo mogli krenuti odatle, a ne s mesta na kom bismo razumevali kako da zajedno funkcionišemo. A smatram da nam je ovo zaista omogućilo da odrastemo u ljude koji jesmo na izuzetno drugačiji način. Volim ga u potpunosti; pre prelaza, sada i u budućnosti. A zbog ove ljubavi smo se posvetili jedno drugom, čak pre nego što smo videli jedno drugom lice.
TM: My mother's biggest concern when I transitioned was who was going to love me as I am. Had being transgender somehow precluded me from love and monogamy because I was supposedly born in the wrong body? But it's this type of structuring that has to be reframed in order to let love in. My body never betrayed me, and my body was never wrong. It's this restrictive, binary thinking on gender that said that I didn't exist. But when we met, she loved me for exactly how I showed up. She would trace her fingers along the numb keloid scars left by my top surgery. Scars that run from the middle of my chest all the way out to my outer torso. She said that these were reminders of my strength and everything that I went through and nothing for me to be ashamed of. So sprinting towards her hand in marriage was the queerest thing that I could do.
TM: Najveća briga moje majke kad sam promenio rod je bila ko će da me voli ovakvog. Da li me transrodnost nekako isključuje iz ljubavi i monogamije jer sam navodno rođen u pogrešnom telu? Ali ovakav vid uobličavanja mora da bude preformulisan kako bismo prihvatili ljubav. Moje telo me nikad nije izdalo i moje telo nikad nije bilo pogrešno, već ovo ograničavajuće, binarno razmišljanje o rodu koje tvrdi da ja ne postojim. Ali kad smo se upoznali, zavolela me je baš onakvog kakav sam bio. Prstima bi prelazila niz otupele keloidne ožiljke od operacija na mom torzu. Ožiljke koji idu od sredine mojih grudi skroz do spoljašnje strane mog torza. Rekla je da su to podsetnici moje snage i svega kroz šta sam prošao i da nema razloga da ih se stidim. Pa je hrljenje u brak s njom bilo nešto najčudnije što sam mogao da uradim.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
It flew in the face of more conventional trajectories of love and relationships, because God was never supposed to bless a union for folks like us, and the law was never supposed to recognize it.
Udaralo je šamar konvencionalnijim putanjama ljubavi i veza, jer bog nikad ne bi trebalo da blagoslovi zajednicu ljudi poput nas, a zakon nikad ne bi trebalo da je prepozna.
KKM: So on May 5, 2014, just about three months after meeting online, we were married on the steps of City Hall in Manhattan, and it was beautiful in every conceivable way. It's safe to say that we reimagined some traditions, but we also kept some old ones that we worked in, and we created something that worked for us. My bouquet and corsage was actually filled with wildflowers from Brooklyn -- also added in a little bit of lavender and sage to keep us grounded because we were so nervous. And it was put together by a sweet sister healer friend of ours. I never wanted a diamond ring, because conflict and convention are not my thing, so my ring is the deepest purple, like the color of my crown chakra, and set in place with my birthstones.
KKM: Stoga, 5. maja 2014, svega oko tri meseca nakon našeg susreta na internetu, venčali smo se na stepenicama zgrade opštine na Menhetnu i bilo je prelepo na sve zamislive načine. Možemo slobodno reći da smo nanovo osmislili neke tradicije, ali smo i zadržali neke stare koje smo preradili i stvorili smo nešto što je nama bilo dobro. Moj buket i korsaž su zapravo bili od poljskog cveća iz Bruklina - takođe je dodato malo lavande i žalfije da nas drži pri zemlji jer smo bili veoma nervozni. I to je sastavila naša draga sestra isceliteljka. Nisam želela dijamantski prsten jer konflikti i konvencije nisu u mom maniru, te je moj prsten najtamnije ljubičaste boje, poput boje moje glavne čakre i uklopljen je sa mojim astrološkim kamenjem.
The gift of queerness is options. I never had to choose his last name, it was never an exception, but I did because I am my father's bastard child, someone who has always been an apology, a secret, an imposition. And it was incredibly freeing to choose the name of a man who chose me first.
Dar kvirnoće je u opcijama. Nisam morala da uzmem njegovo prezime, nikad nije bilo izuzetak, ali jesam jer sam kopile mog oca, neko ko je oduvek bio izvinjenje, tajna, teret. I bilo je izuzetno oslobađajuće izabrati prezime čoveka kome sam bila prvi izbor.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
TM: So we told some family and some close friends, many of whom were still in disbelief as we took our vows. Fittingly, we posted all of our wedding photos on Facebook, where we met -- and Instagram, of course. And we quickly realized that our coming together was more than just a union of two people, but was a model of possibility for the millions of LGBTQ folks who have been sold this lie that family and matrimony is antithetical to who they are -- for those of us who rarely get to see ourselves reflected in love and happiness.
TM: Obavestili smo neke članove porodice i bliske prijatelje, mnogi od njih su i dalje bili u neverici dok smo izgovarali zavete. Kako je i red, postavili smo sve slike s našeg venčanja na Fejsbuk gde smo se upoznali - i na Instagram, naravno. I ubrzo smo shvatili da naša zajednica nije samo unija dvoje ljudi, već da je to primer mogućnosti za milione LGBTK ljudi kojima je prodana ta laž da su porodica i brak antiteza onome što su oni - za sve nas koji retko viđamo svoj odraz u ljubavi i sreći.
KKM: And the thing is, absolutely we are marginalized because of our identities, but it also emboldens us to be the people that we are. Queerness is our major key; blackness is our magic. It's because of these things that we are able to be hopeful, open, receptive and shape-shifting. These are the things that give us, and are such an incredible source of, our strength. Our queerness is a source of that strength.
KKM: A radi se o tome da smo potpuno marginalizovani zbog naših identiteta, ali nas to i ohrabruje da budemo ljudi koji jesmo. Kvirnoća je naša ključna karakteristika; crna koža je naša magija. Zbog svega ovoga smo sposobni da se nadamo, otvorimo, budemo prijemčivi i preobražajni. Sve ovo nam pruža snagu i izuzetan je izvor naše strage. Naša kvirnoća je izvor te snage.
I think of the words of Ottawa-based poet Brandon Wint: "Not queer like gay; queer like escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness all at once. Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like, and to pursue it."
Sećam se reči pesnika iz Otave Brendona Vita: "Ne kvir kao gej; kvir kao neko ko izmiče određenjima. Kvir poput nekakve fluidnosti i bezgraničnosti istovremeno. Kvir poput slobode isuviše čudne da bi je osvojili. Kvir poput odvažnosti da zamislimo kako ljubav može da izgleda i da tragamo za njom."
TM: We are part of a community of folks -- Yeah, that's good right?
TM: Mi smo deo zajednice ljudi - Da, to je dobro, zar ne?
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
We are part of a community of folks who are living their authentic selves all along the gender spectrum, despite the ubiquitous threat of violence, despite the undercurrent of anxiety that always is present for people who live on their own terms. Globally, a transgender person is murdered every 21 hours. And the United States has had more trans murders on record this year than any year to date. However, our stories are much more than this rigid dichotomy of strength and resilience. We are expanding the human complexity on these margins, and we are creating freedom on these margins.
Deo smo zajednice ljudi koji žive na sebi svojstven način duž rodnog spektra, uprkos sveprisutnoj pretnji od nasilja, uprkos pritajenom nespokoju koji je uvek prisutan kod ljudi koji žive po svojim pravilima. Globalno, transrodna osoba je ubijena na svaki 21 sat. A SAD su imale više zabeleženih ubistava transrodnih osoba ove godine nego bilo koje godine do sad. Međutim, naše priče su daleko iznad ove krute dihotomije snage i otpornosti. Rastežemo ljudsku složenost na ovim marginama i stvaramo slobodu na ovim marginama.
KKM: And we don't have any blueprints. We're creating a world that we have literally never seen before; organizing families based on love and not by blood, guiding by a compassion that so few of us have been shown ourselves.
KKM: I nemamo bilo kakve nacrte. Stvaramo svet koji bukvalno nikad pre nismo videli; formiramo porodice na osnovu ljubavi, a ne krvi, vođeni saosećanjem koje je nekolicina nas pokazala sebi samima.
So many of us have not received love from our families -- have been betrayed by the people that we trust most. So what we do here is we create entirely new languages of love. Ones that are about creating the space for us to be our authentic selves and not imposing this standard of what masculinity or femininity is supposed to be.
Toliko nas nije dobilo ljubav iz naših porodica - izdali su nas ljudi kojima smo najviše verovali. Stoga mi ovde stvaramo potpuno nove jezike ljubavi, kod kojih se radi o stvaranju prostora u kom bismo bili istinski mi, a koji ne nameću standarad o tome šta bi muževnost ili ženstvenost trebalo da budu.
TM: We are interested in love and inclusion as a tool of revolutionary change, right? And the idea is simply, if we drop all our preconceived notions about how somebody is supposed to be -- in their body, in their gender, in their skin -- if we take the intentional steps to unlearn these deep-seated biases and create space for people to be self-determined, and embrace who they are, then we will definitely create a better world than the one we were born into.
TM: Nas zanima ljubav i inkluzija kao oruđa revolucionarne promene, zar ne? A zamisao je prosta, ako napustimo sve pretpostavke o tome kakav bi neko trebalo da bude - u svom telu, u svom rodu, u svojoj koži - ako napravimo voljne korake da zaboravimo ove ukorenjene predrasude i stvorimo prostor za ljude da budu samoodlučni i da prigrle to ko su, onda ćemo definitivno stvoriti bolji svet od onog u kom smo rođeni.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
KKM: We want to mark this time in history by leaving evidence of the fact that we were here. We open up little windows into our relationship for our community to bear witness, and we do this because we want to make maps to the future and not monuments to ourselves. Our experience does not invalidate other peoples' experience, but it should and necessarily does complicate this idea of what love and marriage are supposed to be.
KKM: Želimo da obeležimo ovaj istorijski momenat ostavljajući dokaz činjenice da smo bili tu. Otvaramo prozorčiće u naše odnose za naše zajednice da budu svedoci, a radimo to jer želimo da napravimo mape za budućnost, a ne spomenike nama samima. Naše iskustvo ne poništava iskustva drugih ljudi, ali bi trebalo, i nužno to radi, da komplikuje samu zamisao o tome šta bi ljubav i brak trebalo da budu.
TM: OK, now for all the talking, and inspiring, and possibility-modeling we've done, we've been nowhere near perfect. And we've had to hold a mirror up to ourselves. And I saw that I wasn't always the best listener, and that my ego got in the way of our progress as a couple. And I've had to really assess these deep-seated, sexist ideas that I've had about the value of a woman's experience in the world. I've had to reevaluate what it means to be in allyship with my wife.
TM: U redu, uz svu priču, i inspirativnost i dostignuće oblikovanja mogućnosti, nismo ni blizu savršeni. I morali smo da držimo ogledalo nama samima. I ja sam uvideo da nisam uvek najbolji slušalac, i da je moj ego stao na put našem napredovanju kao para. I morao sam zaista da se bavim duboko ukorenjenim seksističkim idejama koje sam imao o značaju ženskog iskustva u svetu. Morao sam iznova da vrednujem šta znači biti u savezu s mojom suprugom.
KKM: And I had to remind myself of a lot of things, too. What it means to be hard on the issues, but soft on the person. While we were writing this, we got into a massive fight.
KKM: I ja sam morala da podsećam sebe na mnogo toga. Šta znači biti stroga kod ideja, ali popustljiva prema osobama. Dok smo pisali ovaj govor, silno smo se posvađali.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
For so many different reasons, but based on the content about our values and our lived experiences -- and we were really hurt, you know? Because what we do and how we love puts ourselves entirely on the line. But even though the fight lasted over the course of two days --
Zbog toliko različitih razloga, a sve zbog sadržaja o našim vrednostima i našim proživljenim iskustvima - i zaista smo bili povređeni, znate? Jer to što radimo i kako volimo nas u potpunosti izlaže opasnosti. No, iako je svađa trajala tokom dva dana -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
We were able to come back together to each other, and recommit to ourselves, to each other and to our marriage. And that really yielded some of the most passionate parts of what we share with you here today.
Uspeli smo da se vratimo zajedno jedno drugom, i da se nanovo obavežemo nama, jedno drugom i našem braku. I to je zaista izrodilo neke od najstrastvenijih delova onoga što delimo s vama danas.
TM: I have had to interrogate masculinity, which I think doesn't happen enough. I've had to interrogate masculinity; the toxic privileges that come with being a man don't define me, but I have to be accountable for how it shows up in my life every day. I have allowed my wife to do all of the emotional labor of prying open the lines of communication when I'd rather clam up and run away.
TM: Morao sam da preispitam muževnost, a to se, verujem, ne dešava dovoljno. Morao sam da preispitam muževnost; zarazne privilegije koje dolaze s muškim rodom me ne određuju, već moram da budem odgovoran za njihovo svakodnevno ispoljavanje u mom životu. Pustio sam da se moja supruga bavi celokupnim emotivnim poslom ispitivanja otvorenih granica komunikacije kad bih se ja radije poklopio i pobegao.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I've stripped away emotional support instead of facing my own vulnerabilities, particularly around the heartbreaking miscarriage we suffered last year, and I'm sorry for that. Sometimes as men, we get to take the easy way out. And so my journey as a trans person is about reimagining masculinity. About creating a manhood that isn't measured by the power it wields, by the entitlements afforded to it, or any simulacrum of control that it can muster, but works in tandem with femininity, and is guided by my spirit.
Uklonio sam emotivnu podršku umesto da se suočim sa sopstvenom ranjivošću, naročito oko srceparajućeg pobačaja koji smo imali prošle godine, i žao mi je zbog toga. Ponekad se kao muškarci izvučemo na lakši način. Te je moje putovanje transrodne osobe o novom osmišljavanju muževnosti. O stvaranju muškosti koja se ne meri moći koju poseduje, pravima koja su joj dodeljena ili bilo kakvim prividom kontrole koju može da prizove, već radi u tandemu sa ženstvenošću i vođena je mojim duhom.
KKM: Y'all ...
KKM: Ljudi...
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
And this has created the space for my femininity to flourish in a way I had never experienced before. He never is threatened by my sexuality, he never polices what I wear or how I act. I cook but he does way more of the cleaning than I do. And when we're rushing to get out of the house and we have so much to handle, he handles everything, so I have time to do my hair and makeup.
A to je stvorilo prostor za moju ženstvenost da procveta na način koji nisam iskusila pre. Nikad nije ugrožen mojom seksualnošću, nikad ne kontroliše šta oblačim ili kako se ponašam. Ja kuvam, ali on daleko više posprema od mene. A kada žurimo da napustimo kuću i imamo toliko toga da obavimo, on sve obavlja, pa ja imam vremena za frizuru i šminku.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
He understands that this is my armor, and he never treats femininity as though it is frivolous or superficial, and this, and him -- he grows my experience of gender every single day.
On razume da je ovo moj oklop, i nikad se ne odnosi prema ženstvenosti kao da je frivolna i površna, a to i on - šire moje iskustvo roda svakog dana.
TM: I love to watch her get dressed in the morning. Watching her in the closet, looking for something comfortable and colorful, and tight, and safe --
TM: Volim da je posmatram kako se oblači ujutru. Da je posmatram u ormaru, kako traži nešto udobno, šarenoliko i usko i bezbedno -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
But it's challenging to watch her negotiate her decisions looking for something that's going to get the least amount of attention, but at the same time be an expression of the vibrant and sexy woman she is. And all I want to do is celebrate her for her beauty, and the things that make her beautiful and special and free, from her long acrylic nails, to her uncompromising black feminism.
Ali je izazov posmatrati je kako dolazi do odluke, tražeći nešto što će privlačiti najmanje pažnje, ali će istovremeno biti izraz nje kao energične i izazovne žene. I ja samo želim da je slavim zbog njene lepote i zbog onoga što je čini lepom i posebnom i slobodnom, od njenih dugih noktiju od akrila do njenog beskompromisnog crnačkog feminzma.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
KKM: I love you. TM: I love you.
KKM: Volim te. TM: Volim te.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
KKM: There are so many queer and trans people who have come before us, whose stories we will never get to hear. We constantly experience this retelling of history where we are conspicuously left out. And it's really hard to not see ourselves there. And so living out loud for us is about that representation. It's about having possibility models, and having hope that love is part of our inheritance in this world, too.
KKM: Ima toliko kvir i transrodnih ljudi koji su postojali pre nas, čije priče nikada nećemo čuti. Stalno proživljavamo novo pripovedanje istorije u kojoj smo upadljivo izostavljeni. A zaista je teško da se ne vidimo tu. Stoga se kod našeg upadljivog postojanja radi o našem predstavljanju. Radi se o postojanju uzora mogućnosti i posedovanju nade da je ljubav deo i našeg nasleđa u ovom svetu.
TM: The possibility that we are practicing is about reinventing time, love and institutions. We are creating a future of multiplicity. We are expanding the spectrum of gender and sexuality, imagining ourselves into existence, imagining a world where gender is self-determined and not imposed, and where who we are is a kaleidoscope of possibility without the narrow-minded limitations masquerading as science or justice.
TM: Mogućnost koju praktikujemo je o novom osmišljavanju vremena, ljubavi i institucija. Stvaramo budućnost raznovrsnosti. Širimo spektar roda i seksualnosti, osmišljavamo sopstveno postojanje, osmišljavamo svet u kome je rod samoodređen, a ne nametnut i u kome je to ko smo kaleidoskop mogućnosti bez uskogrudih ograničenja koja se uzimaju kao nauka ili pravda.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
KKM: And I can't lie: it is really, really hard. It is hard to stand in the face of bigotry with an open heart and a smile on my face. It is really hard to face the injustice that exists in the world, while still believing in the ability of people to really change. That takes an enormous amount of faith and dedication. And beyond that, marriage is hard work.
KKM: I ne mogu da lažem: zasta, zaista je teško. Teško je stajati suočena s netrpeljivošću, otovorenog srca i sa osmehom na licu. Zaista je teško suočiti se s nepravdom koja postoji u svetu, i dalje verujući u mogućnost istinskih promena kod ljudi. To iziskuje ogromnu količinu vere i posvećenosti. A i mimo toga, brak je težak posao.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Piles of dirty socks on the floor, more boring sports shows than I ever thought possible --
Gomile prljavih čarapa na podu, više dosadnih sportskih emisija nego što sam mislila da je moguće -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And fights that bring me to tears when it feels like we're not speaking the same language. But there is not a day that goes by where I am not so grateful to be married to this man; where I'm not so grateful for the possibility of changing minds, and rewarding conversations, and creating a world where love belongs to us all.
I svađe koje me dovode do suza, kad se čini da ne govorimo istim jezkom. Ali ne prođe ni dan da nisam zahvalna što sam udata za ovog čoveka; gde sam veoma zahvalna zbog mogućnosti menjanja umova, i plodotovornih razgovora i stvaranja sveta u kom ljubav pripada svima nama.
I think about our acronym: LGBTQ2SIA. A seemingly endless evolution of self and a community, but also this really deep desire not to leave anyone behind. We've learned how to love each other, and we've committed to loving each other throughout changes to gender and changes in spirit. And we learned this love in our chat rooms, in our clubs, in our bars and in our community centers. We've learned how to love each other for the long haul.
Razmišljam o akronimu: LGBTK2SIA. Naoko beskrajna evolucija sebe i zajednice, ali takođe istinski jaka želja da niko ne bude izostavljen. Naučili smo kako da volimo jedni druge, i obavezali smo se da volimo jedni druge kroz izmene roda i izmene duha. I naučili smo ovu ljubav u našim prostorima za ćaskanje, u našim klubovima, u našim barovima i u našim društvenim centrima. Naučili smo kako da volimo jedni druge na duge staze.
TM & KKM: Thank you.
TM i KKM: Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)