So, this happy pic of me was taken in 1999. I was a senior in college, and it was right after a dance practice. I was really, really happy. And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later. I was sitting in the back of my used minivan in a campus parking lot, when I decided I was going to commit suicide. I went from deciding to full-blown planning very quickly. And I came this close to the edge of the precipice. It's the closest I've ever come. And the only reason I took my finger off the trigger was thanks to a few lucky coincidences. And after the fact, that's what scared me the most: the element of chance.
Ova fotka na kojoj sam sretan snimljena je 1999. Bio sam apsolvent i bilo je to upravo nakon plesa. Bio sam jako, jako sretan. Sjećam se i gdje sam točno bio otprilike tjedan i pol nakon toga. Sjedio sam na stražnjem sjedalu svog monovolumena, na parkiralištu kampusa, kada sam odlučio da ću počiniti samoubojstvo. Vrlo brzo prešao sam s odluke na detaljno planiranje. I bio sam toliko blizu rubu ponora. Nikad nisam bio bliže. Maknuo sam prst s okidača samo zahvaljujući sretnom slučaju. I poslije svega, to me najviše strašilo: taj čimbenik slučajnosti.
So I became very methodical about testing different ways that I could manage my ups and downs, which has proven to be a good investment. (Laughs) Many normal people might have, say, six to 10 major depressive episodes in their lives. I have bipolar depression. It runs in my family. I've had 50-plus at this point, and I've learned a lot. I've had a lot of at-bats, many rounds in the ring with darkness, taking good notes. So I thought rather than get up and give any type of recipe for success or highlight reel, I would share my recipe for avoiding self-destruction, and certainly self-paralysis.
Zato sam počeo sistematično ispitivati kako se nositi s usponima i padovima, što se pokazalo dobrom investicijom. (Smijeh) Normalni ljudi imaju možda šest do deset depresivnih epizoda u životu. Ja imam bipolarnu depresiju. Genetski uvjetovanu. Dosad sam ih imao preko 50 i mnogo sam naučio iz toga. Imao sam puno prilika za udarac, puno rundi u ringu s tamom, vodio sam bilješke. Zato umjesto da dam recept za uspjeh ili naglasim vrhunce, podijelit ću svoj recept za izbjegavanje samouništenja te zasigurno i samoparalize.
And the tool I've found which has proven to be the most reliable safety net for emotional free fall is actually the same tool that has helped me to make my best business decisions. But that is secondary. And it is ... stoicism. That sounds boring.
Smatram da je najpouzdanija sigurnosna mreža za emocionalni slobodni pad isti onaj alat koji mi je pomogao u donošenju poslovnih odluka. No to je manje važno. Riječ je o ... Stoicizmu. Zvuči dosadno.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
You might think of Spock, or it might conjure and image like this --
Možda ćete pomisliti na Spocka ili ćete si to ovako predočiti --
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
a cow standing in the rain. It's not sad. It's not particularly happy. It's just an impassive creature taking whatever life sends its way.
krava stoji na kiši. Nije tužno. Nije ni osobito sretno. To je samo smireno biće koje prihvaća što mu život pošalje.
You might not think of the ultimate competitor, say, Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots, who has the all-time NFL record for Super Bowl titles. And stoicism has spread like wildfire in the top of the NFL ranks as a means of mental toughness training in the last few years. You might not think of the Founding Fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, George Washington to name but three students of stoicism. George Washington actually had a play about a Stoic -- this was "Cato, a Tragedy" -- performed for his troops at Valley Forge to keep them motivated.
Možda ne biste pomislili na predanoga natjecatelja, nekoga kao Bill Belichick, on je glavni trener ekipe New England Patriots, čiji rekord u nacionalnoj ligi američkog nogometa nije premašen. A stoicizam se poput požara proširio među najboljima u američkom nogometu kao način vježbanja mentalne čvrstoće. Možda ne biste pomislili ni na Očeve osnivače -- Thomasa Jeffersona, Johna Adamsa, Georgea Washingtona, tri sljedbenika stoicizma. George Washington je čak naručio izvedbu predstave o stoiku -- zvala se "Cato, tragedija" -- kako bi motivirao svoje čete kod Valley Forge.
So why would people of action focus so much on an ancient philosophy? This seems very academic. I would encourage you to think about stoicism a little bit differently, as an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments, for making better decisions. And it all started here, kind of, on a porch.
Zašto bi se ljudi željni djelovanja toliko usredotočili na drevnu filozofiju? Ovo zvuči vrlo učeno. Volio bih da na drukčiji način promišljate o stoicizmu, kao sustavu koji omogućuje napredak u visokostresnom okruženju, kod donošenja boljih odluka. Sve je počelo ovdje, na neki način, na trijemu.
So around 300 BC in Athens, someone named Zeno of Citium taught many lectures walking around a painted porch, a "stoa." That later became "stoicism." And in the Greco-Roman world, people used stoicism as a comprehensive system for doing many, many things. But for our purposes, chief among them was training yourself to separate what you can control from what you cannot control, and then doing exercises to focus exclusively on the former. This decreases emotional reactivity, which can be a superpower.
Oko 300. g. pr. Kr. u Ateni, netko imena Zenon Kitijski držao je brojna predavanja hodajući oko oličenog trijema, naziva "stoa." Iz toga je proizašao "stoicizam." U grčko-rimskom svijetu ljudi su koristili stoicizam kao sveobuhvatni sustav za mnoge stvari. No nama je najvažnije obučavanje sebe kako bi odvojili ono na što možemo utjecati od onoga na što ne možemo i zatim vježbanje kako bi se usredotočili isključivo na ovo prvo. To smanjuje emotivnu reaktivnost, što može postati supermoć.
Conversely, let's say you're a quarterback. You miss a pass. You get furious with yourself. That could cost you a game. If you're a CEO, and you fly off the handle at a very valued employee because of a minor infraction, that could cost you the employee. If you're a college student who, say, is in a downward spiral, and you feel helpless and hopeless, unabated, that could cost you your life. So the stakes are very, very high.
Primjerice, zamislite da igrate na poziciji vođe napada. Propustite dodavanje. Razbjesnite se na sebe. Zbog toga možete izgubiti. Ako ste direktor tvrtke i izgubite živce s cijenjenim zaposlenikom, zbog manje pogreške, mogli biste izgubiti zaposlenika. Ako studirate, sve vam je krenulo nizbrdo i osjećate se bespomoćno i beznadno, to bi vas moglo stajati života. Ulozi su vrlo, vrlo visoki.
And there are many tools in the toolkit to get you there. I'm going to focus on one that completely changed my life in 2004. It found me then because of two things: a very close friend, young guy, my age, died of pancreatic cancer unexpectedly, and then my girlfriend, who I thought I was going to marry, walked out. She'd had enough, and she didn't give me a Dear John letter, but she did give me this, a Dear John plaque.
Mnogo je alata koji vam mogu pomoći da to postignete. Usredotočit ću se na jedan koji mi je potpuno promijenio život u 2004. Tada me pronašao iz dva razloga: blizak prijatelj, mladić moje dobi, iznenada je preminuo od raka gušterače, a moja djevojka, koju sam htio oženiti, ostavila me. Bilo joj je dosta. Nije mi napisala pismo, nego mi je dala ovo. Plaketu.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
I'm not making this up. I've kept it. "Business hours are over at five o'clock." She gave this to me to put on my desk for personal health, because at the time, I was working on my first real business. I had no idea what I was doing. I was working 14-plus hour days, seven days a week. I was using stimulants to get going. I was using depressants to wind down and go to sleep. It was a disaster. I felt completely trapped. I bought a book on simplicity to try to find answers.
Ne izmišljam to. Zadržao sam je. "Radno vrijeme završava nakon 17 h." Dala mi je to kao podsjetnik na moje zdravlje jer sam tada radio na svom prvom pravom poslu. Nisam imao pojma što radim. Radio sam preko 14 sati dnevno, sedam dana u tjednu. Uzimao sam stimulanse kako bih funkcionirao, uzimao sam antidepresive da se odmorim i zaspem. Bila je to katastrofa. Osjećao sam se kao u zamci. Kupio sam knjigu o jednostavnosti kako bih pokušao pronaći odgovore.
And I did find a quote that made a big difference in my life, which was, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality," by Seneca the Younger, who was a famous Stoic writer. That took me to his letters, which took me to the exercise, "premeditatio malorum," which means the pre-meditation of evils. In simple terms, this is visualizing the worst-case scenarios, in detail, that you fear, preventing you from taking action, so that you can take action to overcome that paralysis. My problem was monkey mind -- super loud, very incessant. Just thinking my way through problems doesn't work. I needed to capture my thoughts on paper. So I created a written exercise that I called "fear-setting," like goal-setting, for myself. It consists of three pages. Super simple.
I pronašao sam citat koji mi je jako promijenio život, "Češće patimo u mašti nego u stvarnosti," Seneke Mlađeg, poznatog predstavnika stoicizma. To me je odvelo njegovim pismima, koja su me odvela vježbi, "premeditatio malorum," što znači premeditacija zala. Jednostavno rečeno, riječ je o vizualizaciji najgoreg mogućeg scenarija, onoga čega se bojite, a što vas sprječava u djelovanju, kako biste mogli nadvladati tu paralizu. Moj je problem bio majmunski um -- vrlo glasan, ustrajan. Samo razmišljanjem ne mogu riješiti probleme. Morao sam zabilježiti misli na papiru. Tako sam osmislio pisanu vježbu, "postavljanje strahova," poput postavljanja ciljeva, za sebe. Sadrži tri stranice. Jednostavna je.
The first page is right here. "What if I ...?" This is whatever you fear, whatever is causing you anxiety, whatever you're putting off. It could be asking someone out, ending a relationship, asking for a promotion, quitting a job, starting a company. It could be anything. For me, it was taking my first vacation in four years and stepping away from my business for a month to go to London, where I could stay in a friend's room for free, to either remove myself as a bottleneck in the business or shut it down.
Ovo je prva stranica. "Što ako ...?" To je bilo što čega se bojite, što vam izaziva osjećaj tjeskobe, što odgađate. Možda poziv na spoj, prekid veze, traženje promaknuća, otkaz, osnivanje tvrtke. To može biti bilo što. Za mene, bilo je to uzimanje prvog odmora u četiri godine i odstupanje od svog posla za jedan mjesec u Londonu, gdje sam mogao besplatno boraviti kod prijatelja kako bih se ili udaljio jer sam postao smetnja na poslu ili ugasio poduzeće.
In the first column, "Define," you're writing down all of the worst things you can imagine happening if you take that step. You want 10 to 20. I won't go through all of them, but I'll give you two examples. One was, I'll go to London, it'll be rainy, I'll get depressed, the whole thing will be a huge waste of time. Number two, I'll miss a letter from the IRS, and I'll get audited or raided or shut down or some such.
U prvom stupcu, "Definiraj," pišete najgore stvari koje mislite da bi se mogle dogoditi ako poduzmete taj korak. Njih deset do dvadeset. Neću ih sve analizirati, no dat ću vam dva primjera. Jedan je bio, otići ću u London, bit će kišno, to će me deprimirati, sve će to biti ogroman gubitak vremena. Drugi, propustit ću pismo Porezne uprave, doći će mi u nadzor, zaplijeniti imovinu, zatvoriti mi tvrtku i slično.
And then you go to the "Prevent" column. In that column, you write down the answer to: What could I do to prevent each of these bullets from happening, or, at the very least, decrease the likelihood even a little bit? So for getting depressed in London, I could take a portable blue light with me and use it for 15 minutes in the morning. I knew that helped stave off depressive episodes. For the IRS bit, I could change the mailing address on file with the IRS so the paperwork would go to my accountant instead of to my UPS address. Easy-peasy.
Zatim popunjavate stupac "Spriječi." U tom stupcu odgovarate na pitanja: Kako mogu spriječiti da se sve to dogodi ili barem smanjiti vjerojatnost da će se to dogoditi? Za slučaj da se osjećam depresivno u Londonu, mogu ponijeti prenosivu plavu svjetiljku i koristiti je 15 minuta ujutro. Znao sam da mi to pomaže kod depresivnih epizoda. Što se Porezne tiče, mogao sam promijeniti adresu isporuke kako bi pošiljke uputili mom računovođi, a ne na moju adresu. Vrlo jednostavno.
Then we go to "Repair." So if the worst-case scenarios happen, what could you do to repair the damage even a little bit, or who could you ask for help? So in the first case, London, well, I could fork over some money, fly to Spain, get some sun -- undo the damage, if I got into a funk. In the case of missing a letter from the IRS, I could call a friend who is a lawyer or ask, say, a professor of law what they would recommend, who I should talk to, how had people handled this in the past. So one question to keep in mind as you're doing this first page is: Has anyone else in the history of time less intelligent or less driven figured this out? Chances are, the answer is "Yes."
Zatim prelazimo na "Popravi." Ako se najgori mogući scenarij ostvari, što možete učiniti kako biste barem malo popravili štetu ili tko bi mogao pomoći? U prvom slučaju, London, mogao bih prikupiti nešto novca, otići u Španjolsku, malo se osunčati -- poništiti štetu, ako postanem depresivan. U slučaju propuštanja pisma od Porezne, mogao bih nazvati prijatelja odvjetnika ili pitati profesora koji predaje pravo što bi oni preporučili, kome se obratiti, kako su drugi rješavali slične probleme. Pitanje koje treba imati na umu dok radite na prvoj stranici, jest: Je li itko ikada, manje inteligentan ili manje motiviran, riješio ovakav problem? Vjerojatno je odgovor: "Da."
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
The second page is simple: What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success? You can see we're playing up the fears and really taking a conservative look at the upside. So if you attempted whatever you're considering, might you build confidence, develop skills, emotionally, financially, otherwise? What might be the benefits of, say, a base hit? Spend 10 to 15 minutes on this.
Druga stranica je jednostavna: Koje bi mogle biti prednosti pokušaja ili djelomičnog uspjeha? Vidite da preuveličavamo strahove i s oprezom gledamo na pozitivna očekivanja. Ako pokušate to što razmatrate, može li to poboljšati vaše vještine, emocionalno, financijski ili drukčije? Koje su prednosti, recimo, osvajanja baze? Provedite 10 do 15 minuta na ovome.
Page three. This might be the most important, so don't skip it: "The Cost of Inaction." Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong if we try something new, say, ask for a raise. What we don't often consider is the atrocious cost of the status quo -- not changing anything. So you should ask yourself, if I avoid this action or decision and actions and decisions like it, what might my life look like in, say, six months, 12 months, three years? Any further out, it starts to seem intangible. And really get detailed -- again, emotionally, financially, physically, whatever.
Stranica tri. Ovo je možda najvažnije, pa to nemojte preskočiti: "Cijena nedjelovanja." Ljudi jako dobro mogu predvidjeti što može poći po zlu ako pokušaju nešto novo, kao recimo zatražiti povišicu. Često ne uzimamo u obzir strašnu cijenu statusa quo -- nepromijenjenog stanja. Trebate se zapitati, ako izbjegnem ovu aktivnost ili odluku i slične aktivnosti i odluke, kako bi moj život mogao izgledati za šest, dvanaest mjeseci ili tri godine? Sve dalje od toga, bit će teško pojmljivo. I budite što iscrpniji -- emocionalno, financijski, fizički, itd.
And when I did this, it painted a terrifying picture. I was self-medicating, my business was going to implode at any moment at all times, if I didn't step away. My relationships were fraying or failing. And I realized that inaction was no longer an option for me.
Kada sam to učinio, budućnost se doimala strašnom. To me izlječilo. Moj je posao u svakom trenutku mogao propasti da nisam odstupio. Bio sam u lošim odnosima s drugima. Shvatio sam da nedjelovanje za mene više nije mogućnost.
Those are the three pages. That's it. That's fear-setting. And after this, I realized that on a scale of one to 10, one being minimal impact, 10 being maximal impact, if I took the trip, I was risking a one to three of temporary and reversible pain for an eight to 10 of positive, life-changing impact that could be a semi-permanent. So I took the trip. None of the disasters came to pass. There were some hiccups, sure. I was able to extricate myself from the business. I ended up extending that trip for a year and a half around the world, and that became the basis for my first book, that leads me here today.
To su tri stranice. To je to. To je postavljanje strahova. Nakon toga sam shvatio, na ljestvici od jedan do 10, pri čemu je jedan minimalni, a deset maksimalni učinak, odlaskom na put riskirao sam privremenu i reverzibilnu bol jačine od jedan do tri za prekretnicu u životu, pozitivan učinak jačine osam do deset, koji bi mogao biti polutrajan. Stoga sam otišao na put. Nijedan se strah nije ostvario. Bilo je poteškoća, naravno. Uspio sam se osloboditi posla. Taj se put pretvorio u put oko svijeta i trajao je godinu i pol te je postao temeljem moje prve knjige, što me danas dovodi ovamo.
And I can trace all of my biggest wins and all of my biggest disasters averted back to doing fear-setting at least once a quarter. It's not a panacea. You'll find that some of your fears are very well-founded.
Neke od mojih najvećih pobjeda i izbjegnutih katastrofa zahvaljujem postavljanju strahova, barem četiri puta godišnje. Nije to lijek za sve. Otkrit ćete da su neki strahovi utemeljeni.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
But you shouldn't conclude that without first putting them under a microscope. And it doesn't make all the hard times, the hard choices, easy, but it can make a lot of them easier.
No to trebate zaključiti nakon što ih stavite pod povećalo. I ne postanu sva teška razdoblja, svi teški izbori laki, no može postati lakše.
I'd like to close with a profile of one of my favorite modern-day Stoics. This is Jerzy Gregorek. He is a four-time world champion in Olympic weightlifting, political refugee, published poet, 62 years old. He can still kick my ass and probably most asses in this room. He's an impressive guy.
Volio bih završiti s profilom jednog od omiljenih modernih stoika. Ovo je Jerzy Gregorek. On je četverostruki svjetski prvak u olimpijskom dizanju utega, politička izbjeglica, pjesnik, ima 62 godine. Još me može srediti kao i većinu u ovoj sobi. Izaziva divljenje.
I spent a lot of time on his stoa, his porch, asking life and training advice. He was part of the Solidarity in Poland, which was a nonviolent movement for social change that was violently suppressed by the government. He lost his career as a firefighter. Then his mentor, a priest, was kidnapped, tortured, killed and thrown into a river. He was then threatened. He and his wife had to flee Poland, bounce from country to country until they landed in the US with next to nothing, sleeping on floors.
Proveo sam puno vremena na njegovom trijemu, tražeći savjete o životu i vježbanju. Bio je član Solidarnosti u Poljskoj, nenasilnog pokreta za društvene promjene koji je vlada nasilno ugušila. Izgubio je posao vatrogasca. Tada je njegov mentor - svećenik - otet, mučen, ubijen i bačen u rijeku. Tada su mu prijetili. On i žena pobjegli su iz Poljske, seleći iz zemlje u zemlju dok nisu gotovo bez ičega završili u SAD-u, spavajući na podovima.
He now lives in Woodside, California, in a very nice place, and of the 10,000-plus people I've met in my life, I would put him in the top 10, in terms of success and happiness. And there's a punchline coming, so pay attention. I sent him a text a few weeks ago, asking him: Had he ever read any Stoic philosophy? And he replied with two pages of text. This is very unlike him. He is a terse dude.
On sada živi u Woodsideu, Kaliforniji, na lijepom mjestu i od preko 10.000 ljudi koliko sam ih upoznao u životu, svrstao bih ga među prvih deset kada govorimo o uspjehu i sreći. Priča ima poruku, pa pažljivo slušajte. Poslao sam mu poruku nedavno pitajući ga je li ikada pročitao nešto o filozofiji stoika? Odgovorio je na dvije stranice. To mu nije nalik. Vrlo je suzdržan.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And not only was he familiar with stoicism, but he pointed out, for all of his most important decisions, his inflection points, when he stood up for his principles and ethics, how he had used stoicism and something akin to fear-setting, which blew my mind.
Ne samo da mu je stoicizam bio poznat, nego je napomenuo, kod svih najvažnijih odluka, u prijelomnim trenucima, kada se zauzeo za svoja uvjerenja koristio je stoicizam i nešto slično postavljanju strahova, što me oduševilo.
And he closed with two things. Number one: he couldn't imagine any life more beautiful than that of a Stoic. And the last was his mantra, which he applies to everything, and you can apply to everything:
I završio je s dvije napomene. Prva: nema ljepšeg života od života stoika. A druga je bila njegova mantra koju primjenjuje na sve i koju vi možete primijeniti na sve:
"Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."
"Laki izbori, težak život. Teški izbori, lak život."
The hard choices -- what we most fear doing, asking, saying -- these are very often exactly what we most need to do. And the biggest challenges and problems we face will never be solved with comfortable conversations, whether it's in your own head or with other people.
Teški izbori -- sve što se bojimo učiniti, pitati, reći -- često je to ono što najviše trebamo učiniti. A najveći problemi s kojima se suočavamo nikada neće biti riješeni ugodnim razgovorima, bilo to u vlastitoj glavi ili s drugima.
So I encourage you to ask yourselves: Where in your lives right now might defining your fears be more important than defining your goals? Keeping in mind all the while, the words of Seneca: "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
Potičem vas da se zapitate: Gdje je u vašim životima sada važnije odrediti strahove nego ciljeve? Imajte na umu Senekine riječi: "Češće patimo u mašti nego u stvarnosti."
Thank you very much.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)