I'd like to introduce you to my mom.
我想跟你們介紹我媽。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I'm guessing that's not what you expected, and it's not what I expected either, and thank goodness I realized that an Asian man was not my mom before I hugged him, because that would have been so awkward.
我想這不是你們所預期的, 那也不是我所預期的, 感謝老天,在我擁抱 這個亞裔男人之前 我有先發現他不是我媽, 不然應該會很尷尬。
Recognizing people isn't one of my strengths due to a genetic visual impairment that has no correction or cure. As a result, I am legally blind, though I prefer "partially sighted" because it's more optimistic.
我不擅長認人, 原因是基因性視覺損傷, 且這是無藥可救的。 因此,我算是法定的盲人。 不過我偏好說「有部份視力」, 因為這樣聽起來比較樂觀。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I'm entitled to the label "disabled."
我具有拿「殘障」標籤的資格。
I hate the word disabled when it's used to describe people. It detonates a mindset of less than that utterly disregards capacity, ability, potential, instead prioritizing brokenness and lack.
我討厭聽到用「殘障」 這個詞來形容人。 它會觸發一種「較差」的心態, 那種心態會完全漠視才能、 能力、潛力, 反而把殘缺與不足 放在第一。
The perspective can be overt. What can't he do for himself that I'm going to have to do for him? She'll probably need some accommodation that no other employee at this business needs. Sometimes, the hidden bias is so sweetly conveyed. "Wow, Susan, look at everything you've done in your career and your life. How did you do all of that and be visually impaired?"
這種觀點可能是很公開表現的, 為什麼他不能自己做, 還要我來幫他做? 她可能會需要一些這個行業 其他員工都不需要的工作調整。 有時,隱藏的偏見 傳達地十分愜意且甜蜜。 「哇,蘇珊, 看看你在職涯和人生 所成就的一切, 你是如何做到這些, 同時還能有視障?」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I fail at being disabled.
我沒有成功做到殘障。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
So in the spirit of incentivizing the rampant failure of people all over the world and enticing the so-called normal to just give it a rest already, here are five tips to fail at being disabled.
所以,出於獎勵遍及全世界的 人們的失敗, 並誘使所謂的正常人放它一馬, 以下是五個秘訣, 教你如何不要成功做到殘障。
Tip one: know your superpowers. The best team I ever led in my career was based on superpowers, and we even gave ourselves fancy-pantsy titles like "the Pillar of Masterly Acumen." "The Biscuit Butterer."
密訣一: 要知道你的超能力是什麼。 我職涯中領導過最棒的團隊, 是以超能力為基礎的團隊, 我們甚至會給自己取花俏的稱號, 比如,「大師級敏銳的棟梁」、 「麵包奶油人」、
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
"The Voice of Reason."
「理性的聲音。」
Because we relied on our strengths, our best strengths, we achieved tremendous outcomes. The trait that prevents me from recognizing my mom allows me to smoothly adapt, to quickly absorb and accurately process an exhausting volume of cues, tease out what's important, determine multiple processes or potentials for any situation that I'm in, and then select the one that makes the most sense, all in a matter of seconds. I see what other people do not. Some people think that's a superpower, but my real superpowers are ricocheting off of glass walls --
因為我們仰賴我們的長處, 我們最強的長處, 來達到極大的成就。 讓我無法認出我媽的那項特質, 也是讓我能平順地適應的特質, 讓我能快速吸收、正確處理 極大量信號的特質, 能理清什麼是重要的, 對我身處的情境, 能判斷多個過程或可能性, 然後選出當中最合理的, 以上全都在幾秒鐘內完成。 我能看見他人看不見的東西。 有些人認為那就是超能力, 但我真正的超能力 是閃過玻璃牆。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
and letting my friends walk around with kale in their teeth.
還有一項是讓我朋友牙縫中 夾著菜還到處行走不自知。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
It's true. Don't have lunch with me, or dinner.
那是真的,別跟我一起吃中餐, 或晚餐。
Tip two: be supremely skilled, supremely skilled at getting it wrong. It is important to be as equally confident in your superpowers as you are in you FUBARs. That's "effed up beyond all recognition" for you millennials.
密訣二:要極度熟練, 極度熟練「弄錯」。 很重要的一點,是對你的 超能力的信心, 要和對 FUBAR 的信心一樣強。 FUBAR 是狗屁倒灶的簡稱, 給千禧世代的朋友參考。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Here's a good example. It is not a great idea to say, "Don't worry, everything in here is too small for me to see" when you accidentally walk into the men's room --
這裡有個好例子。 當不小心走到男更衣室時, 這麼說可能不是一個 好主意:「別擔心, 這裡的一切都太小了, 我也看不見。」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
at one of the world's largest sporting arenas --
而且是在世界最大的體育場裡面。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
or anywhere. I really wish that one wasn't true. I'm serious. It is better to just walk out and let them think you're drunk.
其他地方也一樣。 我真希望這例子不是真實的。 我是說真的,就算直接走出去, 讓他們以為你是醉了都還比較好。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Tip three: know that everyone is disabled in some way, like when you have a cold and you can't smell and you realize that the milk that you splashed in your coffee was sour only after you've tasted it. Very recently, a woman walked up to me frantic. She could not find the bakery she was looking for. As I motioned in the direction I thought she should go, saying, "There are no stores on this side of the street so your best bet is to cross --"
秘訣三:要知道,每個人多少 在某方面都是殘障的。 比如你有感冒時你聞不到味道, 你發現你剛倒入咖啡的牛奶是酸的, 但你是嚐了之後才知道。 最近,有個女子抓狂般地走向我, 她找不到她要找的麵包店。 我告訴她她應該走什麼方向, 說:「在街的這一側沒有店家, 所以比較有可能是要過馬路……」
"Oh my goodness," she interrupted. "There it is. All I needed was another set of eyes."
「噢,我的天,」她打斷我的話。 「它就在那裡。 我不過是需要另一雙眼幫我找。」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I just let her have it. I would have said that, you know, being logical and paying attention and staying calm would have done the trick, but who am I?
我沒有多說什麼。 我本來可以說,你知道的, 理性點,多留意, 保持冷靜,其實就能找到了, 但我算哪根蔥?
Tip four: point out the disability in others. This one is best reserved -- very important note -- this one is best reserved for people you know well, because random strangers typically don't appreciate teachable moments. A few years ago, my parents and I went to see the Rockettes, Radio City's high-kicking dancers. I leaned over to my dad.
秘訣四:指出他人的殘疾。 這項秘訣最好保留── 非常重要的注意事項 ── 這項秘訣最好保留給你很熟的人, 因為隨機陌生人通常不會喜歡 聽說教的時刻。 幾年前,我父母和我 去看 Rockettes 舞團, 無線電城音樂廳中 腿能踢很高的舞者們。 我靠向我爸:
"The two Rockettes on the left aren't kicking in a straight line."
「左側的兩個舞者沒有踢一直線。」
"Yes, they are."
「有啊,他們有。」
"No, they're not."
「沒有,他們沒有。」
"Yes, they are, and how do you know? You can't see."
「有啊,他們有。 而且,你怎麼知道? 你又看不見。」
But I know what a straight line looks like. I had snapped a picture during our back and forth and presented him the evidence that proved I was right. He looked at the picture. I leaned in further.
但我知道直線看起來是什麼樣子, 在我們你來我往講話時, 我拍了一張照片, 給他看證據,證明我是對的。 他看著照片。 我又更靠近了一點。
"Who's disabled now?"
「現在誰才是殘障啊?」
Tip five: pursue audacious goals. Flip expectation upside down and shove limitation off a cliff to meet its demise. There is a college football linebacker who blitzes, tackles, recovers fumbles while having one hand. There is a teacher who successfully transfers knowledge and inspires countless students while living with Down syndrome. And for me, on my long list, to cycle from Kathmandu, Nepal, to Darjeeling, India on the backseat of a bicycle built for two. It will be an exciting 620-mile adventure, and I'm sure I will have the blurry photos to show for it.
秘訣五:追尋大膽的目標。 把期望翻轉過來, 把限制推下懸崖讓它摔死。 有一名大學橄欖球後衛, 他急襲、阻截、取回漏接的球, 但他只有一隻手。 有一個老師成功地把知識傳授、 鼓舞無數的學生, 但自己卻有唐氏症。 而我呢, 在我很長的清單上, 從尼泊爾加德滿都 騎單車到印度大吉嶺, 騎兩人協力車,我坐後座。 那將會是很刺激的 620 英哩冒險, 且我相信我會有些 很模糊不清的照片可以炫耀。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Oh, before we go on, I forgot to introduce you to my mom. I need to do that. And here she is, as she would appear to me if I were looking through a crowd of people looking for her. Or is that an Asian man?
噢,在我們繼續之前, 我忘了向你們介紹我媽。 我得介紹一下。 這就是她, 如果我要在人群中找她, 我眼中的她看起來就是這個樣子的。 還是這是個亞洲男子?
Thank you.
謝謝大家。
(Applause)
(掌聲)