I'd like to introduce you to my mom.
我想向各位介绍我的妈妈。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
I'm guessing that's not what you expected, and it's not what I expected either, and thank goodness I realized that an Asian man was not my mom before I hugged him, because that would have been so awkward.
我猜这不是你们料到的, 其实这也不是我料到的, 谢天谢地,在我打算拥抱他之前, 我意识到了这位亚洲男子 不是我的妈妈, 不然的话那就太尴尬了。
Recognizing people isn't one of my strengths due to a genetic visual impairment that has no correction or cure. As a result, I am legally blind, though I prefer "partially sighted" because it's more optimistic.
我并不擅长认出 人们谁是谁 因为我患有先天性的视觉障碍, 无法治疗或矫正。 所以,我是一个盲人, 但是我更喜欢“有限视力”这个说法 因为听上去更乐观一些。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And I'm entitled to the label "disabled."
我带着“残疾”的标签。
I hate the word disabled when it's used to describe people. It detonates a mindset of less than that utterly disregards capacity, ability, potential, instead prioritizing brokenness and lack.
我讨厌“残疾”这个词,当它用来 描述人的时候。 这个词引发了一种思维定势 (人的)能力、潜力 和实力被完全忽视了, 取而代之的是对残缺和 坏损部分的强调。
The perspective can be overt. What can't he do for himself that I'm going to have to do for him? She'll probably need some accommodation that no other employee at this business needs. Sometimes, the hidden bias is so sweetly conveyed. "Wow, Susan, look at everything you've done in your career and your life. How did you do all of that and be visually impaired?"
这个观念是很明显的。 他有哪些事情做不了, 我可以去帮他做的? 她可能会需要一些帮助, 而做同样事情的其他雇员 是不需要的。 有时候,这种隐藏的偏见 是用很暖心的语言传达的。 “哇哦,苏珊, 看看你在工作和生活中 做出的这些成绩。 你是怎么能够在眼睛看不见的 情况下做到这些成就?”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
I fail at being disabled.
作为残疾人我不称职。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
So in the spirit of incentivizing the rampant failure of people all over the world and enticing the so-called normal to just give it a rest already, here are five tips to fail at being disabled.
所以为了向全世界的(残疾)人 传递这种相当成功的 不称职的精神 并且诱使这所谓的正常人们 能够长舒一口气, 这里有五条技巧 让你成为不称职的残疾人。
Tip one: know your superpowers. The best team I ever led in my career was based on superpowers, and we even gave ourselves fancy-pantsy titles like "the Pillar of Masterly Acumen." "The Biscuit Butterer."
技巧一: 发现你的超能力。 我在职业生涯中带过的最好的团队 就是基于各种超能力的, 甚至我们给自己起了各种 奇特花哨的头衔 像是“精湛敏锐的支持者”, “饼干的仰慕者”,
(Laughter)
(笑声)
"The Voice of Reason."
“理性的声音”。
Because we relied on our strengths, our best strengths, we achieved tremendous outcomes. The trait that prevents me from recognizing my mom allows me to smoothly adapt, to quickly absorb and accurately process an exhausting volume of cues, tease out what's important, determine multiple processes or potentials for any situation that I'm in, and then select the one that makes the most sense, all in a matter of seconds. I see what other people do not. Some people think that's a superpower, but my real superpowers are ricocheting off of glass walls --
因为我们依赖于我们的长处, 我们最擅长的, 我们取得了令人瞩目的成就。 那个让我无法认出 妈妈的特质 让我能够平稳的适应, 面对海量的信息能够快速消化 并精确的处理, 过滤出重要线索, 无论我身处什么场合都有能力 处理多个事件或可能情况, 然后从中挑选出 最重要的一个, 这一切都在数秒内完成。 我看到其他人看不见的。 有人觉得这就是我的超能力, 但是我的超能力 实际上是被玻璃墙反弹——
(Laughter)
(笑声)
and letting my friends walk around with kale in their teeth.
以及让我的朋友们把菜汤含嘴里 从我身边绕过去(吐掉)
(Laughter)
(笑声)
It's true. Don't have lunch with me, or dinner.
真的。不要跟我共进午餐, 或者晚餐。
Tip two: be supremely skilled, supremely skilled at getting it wrong. It is important to be as equally confident in your superpowers as you are in you FUBARs. That's "effed up beyond all recognition" for you millennials.
技巧二:要超级老练, 在事情出岔子的时候超级老练。 能够在你的FUBAR环境下保持自信 就像在你的超能力领域一样 是非常重要的。 FUBAR就是你们这些千禧一代说的 “搞砸了所有事情”的意思。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Here's a good example. It is not a great idea to say, "Don't worry, everything in here is too small for me to see" when you accidentally walk into the men's room --
我有个很好的例子。 说出这句话并不是个好主意: “别担心,这里所有东西对我而言 都太小了,我看不到” 当你不小心走错了厕所 跑到了男卫生间——
(Laughter)
(笑声)
at one of the world's largest sporting arenas --
这个世界上最大的 体育竞技场之一——
(Laughter)
(笑声)
or anywhere. I really wish that one wasn't true. I'm serious. It is better to just walk out and let them think you're drunk.
或别的地方。 我真的希望我说的不是真的。 我认真的。更好的方式是不说话 走出去,让别人认为你喝醉了。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Tip three: know that everyone is disabled in some way, like when you have a cold and you can't smell and you realize that the milk that you splashed in your coffee was sour only after you've tasted it. Very recently, a woman walked up to me frantic. She could not find the bakery she was looking for. As I motioned in the direction I thought she should go, saying, "There are no stores on this side of the street so your best bet is to cross --"
技巧三:牢记每个人在某些方面 都有局限性(残疾)的, 就像是当你感冒的时候 你鼻子闻不出来, 只有当你尝到嘴里才会发现 刚才你倒进咖啡的牛奶 已经变质酸掉了。 不久之前一个女人 径直走向我。 她想找一家面包店但是 怎么都找不到。 当我跟她说了我觉得 她应该去的方向, 说,“马路的这边是 没有商店的 所以你最好是穿过——”
"Oh my goodness," she interrupted. "There it is. All I needed was another set of eyes."
“我的天哪”,她打断我。 “就在那儿。 我需要的就是另一双眼睛。”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
I just let her have it. I would have said that, you know, being logical and paying attention and staying calm would have done the trick, but who am I?
我没有纠正她。 我当然也可以说,你知道的, 投入足够注意力 保持冷静,用逻辑思维 就可以做到这点。 但我何必呢?
Tip four: point out the disability in others. This one is best reserved -- very important note -- this one is best reserved for people you know well, because random strangers typically don't appreciate teachable moments. A few years ago, my parents and I went to see the Rockettes, Radio City's high-kicking dancers. I leaned over to my dad.
技巧四:指出别人 身上缺失的能力。 这一条最好是能够保留给—— 非常重要的提醒—— 这一条最好是能够保留给 你非常熟悉的人, 因为偶遇的陌生人 一般都不会感激 被你教育。 几年前,我和父母去 看踢踏舞表演, 无线电城的高踢腿舞者。 我凑近我爸爸轻声说,
"The two Rockettes on the left aren't kicking in a straight line."
“左边那两个踢踏舞者 踢得不在一条直线上。”
"Yes, they are."
“不,在一条直线上。”
"No, they're not."
“不,不在一条直线上。”
"Yes, they are, and how do you know? You can't see."
“不,在一条线上,你怎么能知道? 你看不到啊。“
But I know what a straight line looks like. I had snapped a picture during our back and forth and presented him the evidence that proved I was right. He looked at the picture. I leaned in further.
但是我知道直线 看起来什么样子。 我在我们争论的时候 拍了一张快照 给爸爸看了证据, 证明我是对的。 他看着这张照片。 我进一步靠近爸爸。
"Who's disabled now?"
“现在谁残疾了?”
Tip five: pursue audacious goals. Flip expectation upside down and shove limitation off a cliff to meet its demise. There is a college football linebacker who blitzes, tackles, recovers fumbles while having one hand. There is a teacher who successfully transfers knowledge and inspires countless students while living with Down syndrome. And for me, on my long list, to cycle from Kathmandu, Nepal, to Darjeeling, India on the backseat of a bicycle built for two. It will be an exciting 620-mile adventure, and I'm sure I will have the blurry photos to show for it.
技巧五:去实现大胆的目标。 把你不敢想的预期作为目标, 将限制你的东西推下悬崖 宣告它们的死亡。 有一个大学橄榄球队中后卫 精通各种橄榄球战术, 尽管他只有一只手。 有一位老师成功地 传道授业, 激励了一代代学生, 尽管她自己身患唐氏综合症。 至于我, 我长长的清单上, (有一条是)骑自行车从尼泊尔 加德满都骑到印度大吉岭 坐在双人自行车的 后排座位上。 这激动人心的冒险长达620英里, 我很确定我会在沿路拍摄 很多模糊的照片。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Oh, before we go on, I forgot to introduce you to my mom. I need to do that. And here she is, as she would appear to me if I were looking through a crowd of people looking for her. Or is that an Asian man?
哦,对了,我忘记给大家 介绍我的妈妈了。 我需要介绍一下。 这是我妈妈, 这是我看到的样子 当我需要穿过人海 找寻她的时候。 会不会认错成那个亚洲男人?
Thank you.
谢谢。
(Applause)
(掌声)