Jeg vil gerne introducere jer til min mor.
I'd like to introduce you to my mom.
(Latter)
(Laughter)
Det er nok ikke hvad, I havde forventet, og det er heller ikke hvad, jeg havde forventet, og heldigvis fandt jeg ud af, at en asiatisk mand ikke var min mor, før jeg krammede ham,
I'm guessing that's not what you expected, and it's not what I expected either, and thank goodness I realized that an Asian man was not my mom before I hugged him,
for det ville have været så akavet. At genkende folk er ikke en af mine styrker på grund af et genetisk synshandicap, som ikke kan kureres. Det gør mig næsten blind,
because that would have been so awkward. Recognizing people isn't one of my strengths due to a genetic visual impairment that has no correction or cure. As a result, I am legally blind,
selvom jeg foretrækker "delvist seende", fordi det er mere optimistisk.
though I prefer "partially sighted" because it's more optimistic.
(Latter)
(Laughter)
Og jeg er berrettiget til at blive kaldt "handicappet." Jeg hader ordet handicappet, når det bliver brugt til at beskrive folk. Det fremkalder en tankegang af "mindre end", hvilket ser fuldkomment bort fra kapacitet, evne, potientiale og prioriterer istedet det at være ødelagt
And I'm entitled to the label "disabled." I hate the word disabled when it's used to describe people. It detonates a mindset of less than that utterly disregards capacity, ability, potential, instead prioritizing brokenness
og have mangler. Perspektivet kan være åbenlyst. Hvad kan han ikke selv, som jeg bliver nødt til at gøre for ham? Hun har sikkert brug for særbehandling, som ingen andre i virksomheden har. Nogle gange bliver denne skjulte fordom høfligt formidlet. "Wow, Susan, se alt det, du har opnået i din karriere og i dit liv.
and lack. The perspective can be overt. What can't he do for himself that I'm going to have to do for him? She'll probably need some accommodation that no other employee at this business needs. Sometimes, the hidden bias is so sweetly conveyed. "Wow, Susan, look at everything you've done in your career and your life.
Hvordan har du som synshandicappet kunne gøre det?
How did you do all of that and be visually impaired?"
(Latter)
(Laughter)
Jeg fejler i det at være handicappet.
I fail at being disabled.
(Latter) Så for at tilskynde til den store fejlrate fra folk over hele verden, og for at få den såkaldte normalhed til at tage sig en slapper, er her fem tips
(Laughter) So in the spirit of incentivizing the rampant failure of people all over the world and enticing the so-called normal to just give it a rest already, here are five tips
til at fejle i at være handicappet. Tip et: Kend dine superkræfter. Det bedste hold, jeg nogensinde har ledet i min karriere, var baseret på superkræfter, og vi gav endda os selv nogle fornemme titler, som for eksempel "Søjlen af Mesterlig Kløgt."
to fail at being disabled. Tip one: know your superpowers. The best team I ever led in my career was based on superpowers, and we even gave ourselves fancy-pantsy titles like "the Pillar of Masterly Acumen."
"Småkage-smøreren."
"The Biscuit Butterer."
(Latter)
(Laughter)
"Fornuftens Stemme." Fordi vi stolede på vores styrker, vores bedste styrker, så opnåede vi enorme resultater. Det, som forhindrer mig i at genkende min mor, gør mig i stand til nemt at tilpasse mig, til hurtigt at indtage og på korrekt vis håndtere en udmattende mængde signaler, finde ud af hvad der er vigtigt, bestemme flere processer og muligheder i enhver situation, jeg befinder mig i, og derefter udvælge den, der giver mest mening, alt i løbet af få sekunder. Jeg ser, hvad andre folk ikke ser. Nogle folk mener, at det er en superkraft, men mine ægte superkræfter
"The Voice of Reason." Because we relied on our strengths, our best strengths, we achieved tremendous outcomes. The trait that prevents me from recognizing my mom allows me to smoothly adapt, to quickly absorb and accurately process an exhausting volume of cues, tease out what's important, determine multiple processes or potentials for any situation that I'm in, and then select the one that makes the most sense, all in a matter of seconds. I see what other people do not. Some people think that's a superpower, but my real superpowers
er at rikochettere fra glasvægge --
are ricocheting off of glass walls --
(Latter)
(Laughter)
og lade mine venner gå rundt med kål i tænderne.
and letting my friends walk around with kale in their teeth.
(Latter) Det er rigtigt. Lad være med at spise frokost med mig
(Laughter) It's true. Don't have lunch with me,
eller aftensmad. Tip to: vær suverænt dygtig, suverænt dygtig til at tage fejl. Det er vigtigt, at være lige så sikker i sine superkræfter, som du er i dine FUBARs. Det er "ødelagt til ukendelighed"
or dinner. Tip two: be supremely skilled, supremely skilled at getting it wrong. It is important to be as equally confident in your superpowers as you are in you FUBARs. That's "effed up beyond all recognition"
for jer unge mennesker.
for you millennials.
(Latter) Her er et godt eksempel. Det er ikke en god idé at sige, "Bare rolig, alt herinde er for småt for mig at se",
(Laughter) Here's a good example. It is not a great idea to say, "Don't worry, everything in here is too small for me to see"
når du ved et uheld går ind på et mandetoilet --
when you accidentally walk into the men's room --
(Latter)
(Laughter)
hos en af verdens største sportsarenaer.
at one of the world's largest sporting arenas --
(Latter) eller hos nogen som helst. Jeg ville virkelig ønske, at den der ikke passede.
(Laughter) or anywhere. I really wish that one wasn't true.
Jeg mener det. Det er bedre at gå ud og lade dem tro, at du er fuld.
I'm serious. It is better to just walk out and let them think you're drunk.
(Latter) Tip tre: at vide at alle er handicappet på en eller anden måde, som når du er forkølet og ikke kan lugte og du finder ud af at mælken, du puttede i din kaffe, var sur, men først efter du smagte på den. Fornyligt gik en kvinde febrilsk hen til mig. Hun kunne ikke finde den bagerbutik, hun ledte efter. Da jeg gjorde tegn i retningen, jeg mente, hun skulle gå, imens jeg sagde, "Der er ingen butikker på denne side af gaden,
(Laughter) Tip three: know that everyone is disabled in some way, like when you have a cold and you can't smell and you realize that the milk that you splashed in your coffee was sour only after you've tasted it. Very recently, a woman walked up to me frantic. She could not find the bakery she was looking for. As I motioned in the direction I thought she should go, saying, "There are no stores on this side of the street
så dit bedste bud er at gå over --" "Åh min gud," afbrød hun. "Der er det.
so your best bet is to cross --" "Oh my goodness," she interrupted. "There it is.
Alt jeg havde brug for var et nyt par øjne."
All I needed was another set of eyes."
(Latter) Jeg lod hende bare have det. Jeg ville have sagt, at det at have været logisk og været opmærksom og rolig ville have været en god løsning,
(Laughter) I just let her have it. I would have said that, you know, being logical and paying attention and staying calm would have done the trick,
men har jeg ret til det? Tip fire: påpeg handicappet i andre. Dette tip er bedst for -- meget vigtigt at notere -- dette tip er bedst for folk, du kender meget godt, for vilkårlige fremmede sætter ofte ikke pris på at blive belært. For et par år siden tog mine forældre og jeg ud for at opleve Rocketterne, Radio Citys højtsparkende dansere.
but who am I? Tip four: point out the disability in others. This one is best reserved -- very important note -- this one is best reserved for people you know well, because random strangers typically don't appreciate teachable moments. A few years ago, my parents and I went to see the Rockettes, Radio City's high-kicking dancers.
Jeg lænede mig over mod min far.
I leaned over to my dad.
"De to Rocketter til venstre sparker ikke i en lige linje."
"The two Rockettes on the left aren't kicking in a straight line."
"Jo, de gør."
"Yes, they are."
"Nej, de gør ej." "Jo, de gør, og hvordan ved du det? Du kan ikke se."
"No, they're not." "Yes, they are, and how do you know? You can't see."
Men jeg ved, hvordan en lige linje ser ud. Jeg havde taget et billede, mens vi havde siddet sammen, og præsenterede bevismaterialet for ham, hvilket beviste at jeg havde ret. Han kiggede på billedet.
But I know what a straight line looks like. I had snapped a picture during our back and forth and presented him the evidence that proved I was right. He looked at the picture.
Jeg lænede mig tættere på ham.
I leaned in further.
"Hvem er handicappet nu?" Tip fem: forfølg dristige mål. Vend forventning på hovedet og skub begrænsning ud over en klippe til dens død. Der er en rugbyspiller fra universitets som blitzer, tackler, og overkommer fumleri, mens han har én hånd. Der er en lærer som med succes overfører viden og inspirerer utallige studerende, mens vedkommende lever med Downs syndrom. Og for mig, på min lange liste, at cykle fra Kathmandu, Nepal, til Darjeeling, Indien, på bagsædet af en tomandscykel. Det vil være et spændende 998 km langt eventyr,
"Who's disabled now?" Tip five: pursue audacious goals. Flip expectation upside down and shove limitation off a cliff to meet its demise. There is a college football linebacker who blitzes, tackles, recovers fumbles while having one hand. There is a teacher who successfully transfers knowledge and inspires countless students while living with Down syndrome. And for me, on my long list, to cycle from Kathmandu, Nepal, to Darjeeling, India on the backseat of a bicycle built for two. It will be an exciting 620-mile adventure,
og jeg er sikker på, at jeg vil have slørrede billeder til at vise frem.
and I'm sure I will have the blurry photos to show for it.
(Latter) Åh, og før vi går videre, jeg glemte at introducere jer til min mor. Det bliver jeg nødt til at gøre. Og her er hun, som hun ville se ud for mig, hvis jeg kiggede efter hende i en folkemængde.
(Laughter) Oh, before we go on, I forgot to introduce you to my mom. I need to do that. And here she is, as she would appear to me if I were looking through a crowd of people looking for her.
Eller er det en asiatisk mand? Tak. (Bifald)
Or is that an Asian man? Thank you. (Applause)