Pat Mitchell: Your first time back on the TEDWomen stage.
Pat Mitchell: Hera e pare qe kthehesh ne skenen e TEDWomen.
Sheryl Sandberg: First time back. Nice to see everyone. It's always so nice to look out and see so many women. It's so not my regular experience, as I know anyone else's.
Sheryl Sandberg: Hera e pare qe kthehem. Eshte kenaqesi t'ju shoh te gjitheve. Eshte bukur te shohesh kaq shume gra. Kjo nuk me ndodh pothuajse asnjehere ne pune, ashtu si edhe shume te tjereve.
PM: So when we first started talking about, maybe the subject wouldn't be social media, which we assumed it would be, but that you had very much on your mind the missing leadership positions, particularly in the sector of technology and social media. But how did that evolve for you as a thought, and end up being the TED Talk that you gave?
PM: Kur filluam te diskutonim ne lidhje me fjalimin, dhe se ai nuk kishte te bente me rrjetin social, edhe pse ne kishim menduar te kunderten, ti kishe shume gjera per te thene ne lidhje me mungesen e pozicioneve drejtuese, sidomos ne sektorin e teknologjise dhe rrjetit social. Si evoluoi ky mendim brenda teje per te rezultuar ne ate fjalim qe ti mbajte ne TED?
SS: So I was really scared to get on this stage and talk about women, because I grew up in the business world, as I think so many of us did. You never talk about being a woman, because someone might notice that you're a woman, right? They might notice. Or worse, if you say "woman," people on the other end of the table think you're asking for special treatment, or complaining. Or worse, about to sue them. And so I went through -- (Laughter) Right? I went through my entire business career, and never spoke about being a woman, never spoke about it publicly. But I also had noticed that it wasn't working.
Kisha frike te ngjitesha ne skene per te folur ne lidhje me femrat, sepse ashtu si shume prej nesh ketu une jam rritur ne boten e biznesit. Rralle ndodh te flasesh per faktin qe je grua, sepse e verejne qe ti je grua, apo jo? Ata e kuptojne. Ose edhe me keq, nese permend fjalen "grua", njerezit perballe teje mendojne se je duke kerkuar nje trajtim te vecante, ose je duke u ankuar per dicka. Ose edhe me keq, mendojne se po i padit. Keshtu gjate gjithe karrieres -- (te qeshura) Apo jo? Gjate gjithe karrieres sime une nuk kam folur asnjehere per faktin qe jam grua, nuk kam folur asnjehere ne publik per kete. Por gjithashtu kisha vene re se dicka nuk shkonte.
I came out of college over 20 years ago, and I thought that all of my peers were men and women, all the people above me were all men, but that would change, because your generation had done such an amazing job fighting for equality, equality was now ours for the taking. And it wasn't. Because year after year, I was one of fewer and fewer, and now, often the only woman in a room. And I talked to a bunch of people about, should I give a speech at TEDWomen about women, and they said, oh no, no. It will end your business career. You cannot be a serious business executive and speak about being a woman. You'll never be taken seriously again.
Kur 20 vjete me pare mbarova universitetin mendoja se te gjithe shoket e mi ishin meshkuj edhe femra, ndersa drejtuesit ishin te gjithe meshkuj, mendoja se kjo do ndryshonte, sepse brezi juaj beri nje pune te shkelqyer ne luften per barazi. Tani ishim ne ata qe do te perfitonin nga kjo barazi. Por nuk ndodhi keshtu. Sepse vit pas viti, une isha nder te paktat, te rrallat, dhe sot, shpesh e vetmja femer ne sallen e mbledhjeve. Bisedova me shume vete ne lidhje me kete, a duhet te mbaj nje fjalim per femrat ne TEDWomen apo jo, dhe ata me thane jo, jo, jo. Kjo do te shenjonte fundin e karrieres tende. Ti nuk mund te jesh nje drejtuese serioze nese nis te flasesh per faktin se je femer. Nuk kane per te te marre me seriozisht.
But fortunately, there were the few, the proud -- like you -- who told me I should give the speech, and I asked myself the question Mark Zuckerberg might -- the founder of Facebook and my boss -- asks all of us, which is, what would I do if I wasn't afraid? And the answer to what would I do if I wasn't afraid is I would get on the TED stage, and talk about women, and leadership. And I did, and survived. (Applause)
Por fatmiresisht pati nje pakice guximtaresh - si ti - te cilet me thane se duhet t'a mbaja ate fjalim, dhe une i bera vetes pyetjen qe Mark Zuckerberg - themeluesi i Facebook-ut dhe shefi im - na e ben te gjitheve: Cfare do te beje nese s'do te kishe frike? Ajo qe une do te beja nese s'do te kisha frike ishte te ngjitesha ne skenen e TED dhe te flisja per femrat dhe lidershipin. Une e bera kete, dhe mbijetova. (Duartrokitje)
PM: I would say, not only survived. I'm thinking of that moment, Sheryl, when you and I were standing backstage together, and you turned to me, and you told me a story. And I said -- very last minute -- you know, you really should share that story.
PM; Dhe jo vetem. Sheryl, me vjen ne mend ai casti kur ti dhe une gjendeshim prapa kuintave dhe ti m'u ktheve dhe me tregove nje histori. Dhe une te thashe - ne momentin e fundit - se ti duhet t'a ndaje ate histori me te tjeret.
SS: Oh, yeah. PM: What was that story?
SS: Oh po. PM: Cila ishte ajo histori?
SS: Well, it's an important part of the journey. So I had -- TEDWomen -- the original one was in D.C. -- so I live here, so I had gotten on a plane the day before, and my daughter was three, she was clinging to my leg: "Mommy, don't go." And Pat's a friend, and so, not related to the speech I was planning on giving, which was chock full of facts and figures, and nothing personal, I told Pat the story. I said, well, I'm having a hard day. Yesterday my daughter was clinging to my leg, and "Don't go."
SS: Epo, kjo eshte pjese e rendesishme e udhetimit. Une duhet te shkoja ne TEDWomen, qe ate vit do te mbahej ne Washington. Une jetoj ketu, keshtu qe nje dite me pare mora avionin, dhe vajza ime trevjecare m'u kap pas kembes duke thene: "Mami, mos ik." Dhe Pati eshte mikeshe e imja, s'kishte lidhje me fjalimin qe duhet te mbaja, i cili notonte ne te dhena dhe shifra, dhe nuk permbante asgje personale, i tregova Patit kete histori. I thashe se kisha patur nje dite te veshtire Dje vajza m'u kap pas kembes duke me thene "Mos shko."
And you looked at me and said, you have to tell that story. I said, on the TED stage? Are you kidding? I'm going to get on a stage and admit my daughter was clinging to my leg? And you said yes, because if you want to talk about getting more women into leadership roles, you have to be honest about how hard it is. And I did. And I think that's a really important part of the journey.
Dhe ti me pe ne sy dhe me the, ti duhet t'a tregosh kete histori. Une thashe: "Ne skenen e TED? Mos po tallesh? Te ngjitem ne skene dhe te pranoj qe vajza po me lutej te mos ikja?" Dhe ti me the po, sepse nese do t'i bindesh femrat te pranojne pozicione lideresh, duhet te tregosh e sinqerte ne lidhje me veshtiresite e ketij vendimi. Une e tregova historine. Dhe mendoj se kjo eshte pjese e rendesishme e udhetimit tim.
The same thing happened when I wrote my book. I started writing the book. I wrote a first chapter, I thought it was fabulous. It was chock-full of data and figures, I had three pages on matrilineal Maasai tribes, and their sociological patterns. My husband read it and he was like, this is like eating your Wheaties. (Laughter) No one -- and I apologize to Wheaties if there's someone -- no one, no one will read this book. And I realized through the process that I had to be more honest and more open, and I had to tell my stories. My stories of still not feeling as self-confident as I should, in many situations. My first and failed marriage. Crying at work. Felling like I didn't belong there, feeling guilty to this day. And part of my journey, starting on this stage, going to "Lean In," going to the foundation, is all about being more open and honest about those challenges, so that other women can be more open and honest, and all of us can work together towards real equality.
E njejta gje ndodhi kur shkruajta librin. Fillova te shkruaj. Mbarova kapitullin e pare, dhe mendoja si ishte vertet fantastik. Notonte ne te dhena dhe shifra, Kisha shkruar tre faqe per tribute matriarkale Maasai dhe sjelljet e tyre ne shoqeri. Bashkeshorti im e lexoi dhe tha ky eshte si te hash nje mengjes te pasur perpara nje stervitje te forte. (te qeshura) Askush - i kerkoj falje atyre nga Wheaties qe jane ketu - askush nuk do t'a lexonte ate liber. Dhe gjate ketij procesi une kuptova se duhet te isha me e sinqerte dhe e hapur, dhe se duhet te tregoja historite e mia. Se si ende nuk ndihem aq e sigurte sa duhet ne shume situata. Se si deshtoi martesa ime e pare. Se pse ndonjehere qaj ne pune. Se ndihesha sikur nuk i perkisja atij vendi, gje per te cilen ndihem fajtore edhe sot e kesaj dite. Dhe nje pjese e udhetimit qe filloi ne kete skene, u pasua nga "Te bejme perpara", dhe me fondacionin, ka te beje me te qenit me e hapur dhe e sinqerte ne lidhje me keto sfida, ne menyre qe te gjitha femrat te jene me te hapura dhe te sinqerta, keshtu te gjitha ne do te punojme bashke drejt barazise.
PM: I think that one of the most striking parts about the book, and in my opinion, one of the reasons it's hit such a nerve and is resonating around the world, is that you are personal in the book, and that you do make it clear that, while you've observed some things that are very important for other women to know, that you've had the same challenges that many others of us have, as you faced the hurdles and the barriers and possibly the people who don't believe the same. So talk about that process: deciding you'd go public with the private part, and then you would also put yourself in the position of something of an expert on how to resolve those challenges.
PM: Mendoj se nje nga pjeset me te goditura te librit, dhe sipas meje, nje prej motiveve qe i solli atij kaq sukses dhe fame ne te gjithe boten, eshte se ti tregon shume per veten, dhe ben te qarte se, teksa flet per gjera qe te gjitha femrat duhet t'i dine, ti vete je perballur me te njejtat sfida si shumica prej nesh, teksa kaperceje veshtiresite dhe pengesat si edhe njerez qe nuk e mendonin si ti. Na trego pak per kete proces: kur ti more vendimin te publikoje historite e tua, njekohesisht t'u desh te merrje rolin e nje lloj eksperteje persa i perket zgjidhjes se ketyre sfidave.
SS: After I did the TED Talk, what happened was -- you know, I never really expected to write a book, I'm not an author, I'm not a writer, and it was viewed a lot, and it really started impacting people's lives. I got this great --- one of the first letters I got was from a woman who said that she was offered a really big promotion at work, and she turned it down, and she told her best friend she turned it down, and her best friend said, you really need to watch this TED Talk. And so she watched this TED Talk, and she went back the next day, she took the job, she went home, and she handed her husband the grocery list. (Laughter) And she said, I can do this.
SS: Pas fjalimit ne TED, ndodhi qe- E di, une nuk e kisha parashikuar te shkruaja nje liber, nuk jam shkrimtare, por videoja pati shume shikime, dhe filloi te ndikonte ne jetet e njerezve. Me erdhi nje leter fantastike- Nje nga letrat e para qe mora ishte nga nje grua qe me tha se i kishin ofruar nje ngritje shume te forte ne detyre, dhe se e kishte refuzuar, dhe pasi ia tregoi kete shoqes se ngushte, shoqja i tha se ajo duhet te shihte patjeter nje fjalim ne TED. Ajo e ndoqi fjalimin ne TED, shkoi te nesermen ne pune, e pranoi propozimin, u kthye ne shtepi dhe i dorezoi te shoqit listen e pazarit. (te qeshura) Ajo tha, une mund t'a bej kete.
And what really mattered to me -- it wasn't only women in the corporate world, even though I did hear from a lot of them, and it did impact a lot of them, it was also people of all different circumstances. There was a doctor I met who was an attending physician at Johns Hopkins, and he said that until he saw my TED Talk, it never really occurred to him that even though half the students in his med school classes were women, they weren't speaking as much as the men as he did his rounds. So he started paying attention, and as he waited for raised hands, he realized the men's hands were up. So he started encouraging the women to raise their hands more, and it still didn't work. So he told everyone, no more hand raising, I'm cold-calling. So he could call evenly on men and women. And what he proved to himself was that the women knew the answers just as well or better, and he was able to go back to them and tell them that. And then there was the woman, stay-at-home mom, lives in a really difficult neighborhood, with not a great school, she said that TED Talk -- she's never had a corporate job, but that TED Talk inspired her to go to her school and fight for a better teacher for her child. And I guess it was part of was finding my own voice. And I realized that other women and men could find their voice through it, which is why I went from the talk to the book.
C'ka ishte edhe me e rendesishme per mua... Fjalimi nuk ndikoi thjesht femrat e botes se biznesit, edhe pse kam degjuar historite e shume prej tyre dhe ndikimin e fjalimit tek to, ai ndikoi njerez qe ndodheshin ne situata nga me te ndryshmet. Nje here takova nje doktor qe punonte per spitalin Johns Hopkins, dhe me tha qe para se te shihte fjalimin tim ne TED, nuk i kishte shkuar asnjehere ne mendje se, edhe pse gjysma e studenteve te tij te mjekesise ishin femra, ato nuk flisnin aq shume sa meshkujt kur ai i drejtonte pyetje salles. Filloi te vezhgonte dhe pa se teksa priste pergjigje, shihte me shume duart e ngritura te meshkujve. Keshtu filloi te inkurajonte femrat qe t'a ngrinin doren me shpesh, por as kjo nuk funksionoi. Ai iu tha studenteve se nuk do t'i kerkonte me te ngrinin duart, por do t'i therriste ne emer, ne menyre qe te aktivizonte sa meshkuj aq edhe femra. Dhe ajo qe ai konfirmoi ishte se femrat i dinin pergjigjet po aq mire ose edhe me mire se meshkujt, dhe ai e ndau kete perfundim me to. Me pas mora letren e nje nene shtepiake qe jeton ne nje lagje te varfer, ku shkolla nuk eshte shume mire. Ajo nuk kishte punuar kurre ne nje korporate, por tha se fjalimi ne TED e nxiti te shkonte tek shkolla e femijes te saj dhe te luftonte per mesues me te mire. Mendoj se kjo ishte pjese e rigjetjes se zerit tim. Dhe kuptova se edhe femra apo meshkuj te tjere mund te gjenin zerin e tyre, ja pse kalova nga fjalimi tek libri.
PM: And in the book, you not only found your voice, which is clear and strong in the book, but you also share what you've learned -- the experiences of other people in the lessons. And that's what I'm thinking about in terms of putting yourself in a -- you became a sort of expert in how you lean in. So what did that feel like, and become like in your life? To launch not just a book, not just a best-selling, best-viewed talk, but a movement, where people began to literally describe their actions at work as, I'm leaning in.
PM: Dhe ne liber, ti jo vetem rigjen zerin tend, i cili dallohet i qarte dhe i forte, por ti gjithashtu ndan ate qe ke mesuar permes eksperiencave te njerezve te tjere. Prandaj une mendoj se ti e vure veten ne rolin e - ti u bere nje lloj eksperteje ne berjen perpara. Cfare ndjesie te dha kjo gje, cfare solli ajo ne jeten tende? Lancimi jo vetem i nje libri, jo vetem i nje best selleri, i nje fjalimi te pare nga miliona, por krijimi i nje levizjeje, ku njerezit filluan te pershkruanin veprimet e tyre ne pune me frazen Po bej perpara.
SS: I mean, I'm grateful, I'm honored, I'm happy, and it's the very beginning. So I don't know if I'm an expert, or if anyone is an expert. I certainly have done a lot of research. I have read every study, I have pored over the materials, and the lessons are very clear. Because here's what we know: What we know is that stereotypes are holding women back from leadership roles all over the world. It's so striking. "Lean In" is very global, I've been all over the world, talking about it, and -- cultures are so different. Even within our own country, to Japan, to Korea, to China, to Asia, Europe, they're so different. Except for one thing: gender. All over the world, no matter what our cultures are, we think men should be strong, assertive, aggressive, have voice; we think women should speak when spoken to, help others.
SS: Jam mirenjohese, e nderuar, e lumtur, dhe ky eshte vetem fillimi. Nuk e di nese jam eksperte, apo nese ekspertet ekzistojne vertete. Por kam bere shume kerkime. Kam lexuar cdo studim, kam zhbiruar gjithe te dhenat, dhe mesimet jane te qarta. Sepse ajo qe dime eshte: Dime se ne te gjithe boten krijimi i stereotipeve po i mban femrat larg roleve drejtuese. Eshte e habitshme. "Te bejme perpara" eshte global, une kam shetitur boten duke folur per te, dhe - kulturat jane shume te ndryshme. Madje edhe brenda vendit tone, apo ne Japoni, Kore, Kine, Azi, Europe, ato jane te ndryshme. Pervec dickaje: gjinise. Ne te gjithe boten, paravaresisht kultures, ne mendojme se mashkulli duhet te jete i forte, i sigurte, agresiv, t'i degjohet zeri; mendojme se femra duhet te flasi vetem kur e pyesin, dhe se duhet t'i ndihmoje te tjeret.
Now we have, all over the world, women are called "bossy." There is a word for "bossy," for little girls, in every language there's one. It's a word that's pretty much not used for little boys, because if a little boy leads, there's no negative word for it, it's expected. But if a little girl leads, she's bossy.
Sot ne te gjithe boten femrat quhen prepotente. Ne cdo gjuhe ekziston nje fjale per t'i therritur vajzat e vogla prepotente. Eshte nje fjale qe rralle perdoret per djemte, sepse kur nje djale i vogel udheheq, kjo gje nuk pershkruhet me fjale negative, sepse eshte e pritshme. Por kur nje vajze e vogel udheheq, atehere ajo eshte prepotente.
Now I know there aren't a lot of men here, but bear with me. If you're a man, you'll have to represent your gender. Please raise your hand if you've been told you're too aggressive at work. (Laughter) There's always a few, it runs about five percent. Okay, get ready, gentlemen. If you're a woman, please raise your hand if you've ever been told you're too aggressive at work. (Laughter) That is what audiences have said in every country in the world, and it's deeply supported by the data.
E di qe nuk kemi shume meshkuj ne salle, por kini pak durim. Duke qe se jeni meshkuj, do t'ju duhet te perfaqesoni gjinine tuaj. Ju lutem ngrini duart nese ne pune dikush ju ka thene se jeni shume agresive. (te qeshura) Epo gjithnje do kete ndonje, arrin tek pese perqind. Mire, behuni gati zoterinj. Nese je femer, te lutem ngri doren nese ne ambientin e punes te kane thene se je shume agresive. (te qeshura) Kete gje e ka thene publiku i secilit vend ku kam shkuar, dhe kete e vertetojne edhe te dhenat.
Now, do we think women are more aggressive than men? Of course not. It's just that we judge them through a different lens, and a lot of the character traits that you must exhibit to perform at work, to get results, to lead, are ones that we think, in a man, he's a boss, and in a woman, she's bossy. And the good news about this is that we can change this by acknowledging it.
Tani, a mendojme ne vertete se femrat jane me agresive se meshkujt? Sigurisht qe jo. Vetem se ne i gjykojme ato me nje tjeter sy. dhe shume prej karakteristikave qe te ndihmojne te japesh rezultate dhe te udheheqesh ne pune jane ato qe na bejne t'a mendojme mashkullin shef ndersa femren prepotente. Lajmi i mire eshte se ne mund t'a ndryshojme kete duke u ndergjegjesuar.
One of the happiest moments I had in this whole journey is, after the book came out, I stood on a stage with John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco. He read the book. He stood on a stage with me, he invited me in front of his whole management team, men and women, and he said, I thought we were good at this. I thought I was good at this. And then I read this book, and I realized that we -- my company -- we have called all of our senior women too aggressive, and I'm standing on this stage, and I'm sorry. And I want you to know we're never going to do it again.
Nje nga momentet me te lumtura ne kete udhetim ishte kur, pas daljes se librit, ndodhesha ne skene me John Chambers, CEO i Cisco-s. Ai kishte lexuar librin. Gjendej me mua ne skene, me ftoi para skuadres se tij te menaxhereve, femra dhe meshkuj, dhe tha, mendoja se ishim te afte ne kete pune. Mendoja se isha i afte ne kete pune. Pastaj lexova kete liber dhe kuptova se ne - kompania ime- i kemi percaktuar te gjitha femrat drejtuese si teper agresive, dhe une qendroj ketu para jush, dhe ju them se me vjen keq. Dua t'ju them se kjo nuk do te ndodhe me.
PM: Can we send that to a lot of other people that we know? (Applause)
PM: A mund t'ia kerkojme kete edhe gjithe atyre njerezve te tjere qe njohim? (duartrokitje)
SS: And so John is doing that because he believes it's good for his company, and so this kind of acknowledgement of these biases can change it. And so next time you all see someone call a little girl "bossy," you walk right up to that person, big smile, and you say, "That little girl's not bossy. That little girl has executive leadership skills." (Laughter)
SS: Keshtu John e beri kete sepse mendonte se kjo do t'a permiresonte kompanine e tij, keshtu pranimi i ekzistences se paragjykimit mund t'a ndryshoje ate. Keshtu, heren e ardhshme qe do te degjoni dike qe quan prepotente nje vajze te vogel, mund t'i afroheni atij personi duke buzeqeshur dhe t'i thoni, "Ajo vajze nuk eshte prepotente. Ajo thjesht ka aftesi prej drejtueseje te larte." (te qeshura)
PM: I know that's what you're telling your daughter. SS: Absolutely.
PM: Kjo eshte e njejta gje qe ti i thua vajzes tende. SS: Absolutisht po.
PM: And you did focus in the book -- and the reason, as you said, in writing it, was to create a dialogue about this. I mean, let's just put it out there, face the fact that women are -- in a time when we have more open doors, and more opportunities -- are still not getting to the leadership positions. So in the months that have come since the book, in which "Lean In" focused on that and said, here are some of the challenges that remain, and many of them we have to own within ourselves and look at ourselves. What has changed? Have you seen changes?
PM: Ti je fokusuar ne kete liber - the se arsyeja per te cilen e shkrove ishte krijimi i dialogut ne lidhje me kete teme. Dua te them, le t'e flasim per kete, te perballemi me faktin se, edhe pse ka shume dyer te hapura dhe mundesi te reja, femrat ende nuk marrin pozicione drejtuese. Ne muajt qe pasuan publikimin e librit, ne te cilin theksohet ky problem dhe thuhet se keto jane sfidat qe na presin, dhe shumicen prej tyre duhet t'a luftojme nga brenda vetes duke pare brenda nesh. Cfare ka ndryshuar prej atehere? A ke vene re ndonje ndryshim.
SS: Well, there's certainly more dialogue, which is great. But what really matters to me, and I think all of us, is action. So everywhere I go, CEOs, they're mostly men, say to me, you're costing me so much money because all the women want to be paid as much as the men. And to them I say, I'm not sorry at all. (Laughter) At all. I mean, the women should be paid as much as the men.
SS: Sigurisht ka me shume dialog, e kjo eshte pozitive. Por ajo qe eshte me e rendesishme per mua, dhe ndoshta per te gjithe ne, jane veprimet. Keshtu, kudo qe shkoj, CEO-t, shumica prej te cileve jane meshkuj, me thone po me shkakton shpenzime te medha sepse tani femrat duan te paguhen aq sa meshkujt. Dhe une u them se nuk me vjen aspak keq. (te qeshura) Aspak. Dua te them, femrat duhet te paguhen sa meshkujt.
Everywhere I go, women tell me they ask for raises. Everywhere I go, women say they're getting better relationships with their spouses, asking for more help at home, asking for the promotions they should be getting at work, and importantly, believing it themselves. Even little things. One of the governors of one of the states told me that he didn't realize that more women were, in fact, literally sitting on the side of the room, which they are, and now he made a rule that all the women on his staff need to sit at the table.
Kudo qe shkoj femrat me thone se kerkojne rritje rroge. Kudo qe shkoj, femrat me tregojne qe marredheniet e tyre me partneret jane permiresuar, se kerkojne me shume ndihme ne shtepi, kerkojne ngritje ne detyre, dhe me e rendesishmja, se besojne tek vetja. Nje prej governatoreve me tha se ai nuk e kishte vene re se shumica e femrave uleshin ne skajet e dhomes, gje qe eshte e vertete, dhe se ai kishte vendosur rregullin se gjithe femrat e stafit duhet te uleshin ne tavoline.
The foundation I started along with the book "Lean In" helps women, or men, start circles -- small groups, it can be 10, it can be however many you want, which meet once a month. I would have hoped that by now, we'd have about 500 circles. That would've been great. You know, 500 times roughly 10. There are over 12,000 circles in 50 countries in the world.
Fondacioni qe themelova ne te njejten kohe me librin "Te bejme perpara" ndihmon femrat, por edhe meshkujt... te krijojne grupe mund te jene 10 persona, apo edhe me shume, te cilet takohen nje here ne muaj. Une shpresoja qe deri ne kete moment te kishim rreth 500 grupe. Kjo do te ishte e mrekullueshme. Pra, afersisht 500 here 10. Jane krijuar me shume se 12.000 grupe ne 50 shtete te botes.
PM: Wow, that's amazing.
PM: Kjo eshte e mrekullueshme.
SS: And these are people who are meeting every single month. I met one of them, I was in Beijing. A group of women, they're all about 29 or 30, they started the first Lean In circle in Beijing, several of them grew up in very poor, rural China. These women are 29, they are told by their society that they are "left over," because they are not yet married, and the process of coming together once a month at a meeting is helping them define who they are for themselves. What they want in their careers. The kind of partners they want, if at all. I looked at them, we went around and introduced ourselves, and they all said their names and where they're from, and I said, I'm Sheryl Sandberg, and this was my dream. And I kind of just started crying. Right, which, I admit, I do. Right? I've talked about it before. But the fact that a woman so far away out in the world, who grew up in a rural village, who's being told to marry someone she doesn't want to marry, can now go meet once a month with a group of people and refuse that, and find life on her own terms. That's the kind of change we have to hope for.
SS: Keta njerez takohen cdo muaj. Une takova njeren prej tyre kur isha ne Pekin. Nje grup femrash me moshe 29 apo 30 vjec kishin krijuar grupin e pare ne Pekin Te bejme perpara, dhe disa prej tyre ishin rritur ne zona te varfera rurale te Kines. Femrat 29-vjecare shoqeria e tyre i quan "te mbetura" sepse ato nuk jane ende te martuara, dhe zakoni i ketij takimi mujor po i ndihmon ato te percaktojne se si e shohin veten. Se cfare duan nga karriera e punes. Tipin e partnerit qe duan, nese e duan. I pashe teksa po prezantonim veten me rradhe dhe ato te gjitha thane si quheshin dhe se nga vinin, dhe une thashe, une jam Sheryl Sandberg, dhe kjo ishte endrra ime Dhe pastaj fillova te qaj. Epo, une kete e pranoj. Apo jo? Kam folur edhe me pare per kete. Por fakti se nje femer qe ndodhet ne anen tjeter te botes, qe eshte rritur ne fshat, te ciles i kane thene te martohet me dike qe ajo nuk e pelqen, fakti qe ajo sot mund te takohet nje here ne muaj me persona te tjere dhe t'a refuzoje ate kerkese, per te bere jeten qe do ajo vete. Ky eshte ndryshimi qe ne shpresojme te shohim.
PM: Have you been surprised by the global nature of the message? Because I think when the book first came out, many people thought, well, this is a really important handbook for young women on their way up. They need to look at this, anticipate the barriers, and recognize them, put them out in the open, have the dialogue about it, but that it's really for women who are that. Doing that. Pursuing the corporate world. And yet the book is being read, as you say, in rural and developing countries. What part of that has surprised you, and perhaps led to a new perspective on your part?
PM: A te ka bere pershtypje natyra globale e ketij mesazhi? Sepse mendoj se kur libri u publikua, shume njerez menduan epo kjo eshte nje guide e mire per femrat qe duan te bejne karriere. Ata duhet t'a lexojne, te parashikojne pengesat, t'i identifikojne ato, t'i bejne ato publike, te flasin per to, pra eshte shkruar per femra te tilla. Qe bejne kete pune. Qe ndodhen ne boten e korporatave. Por libri eshte lexuar, sic thua edhe ti, edhe ne vende rurale e ne zhvilim. Prej gjithe kesaj cfare te ka surprizuar, e ndoshta te ka nxitur t'i shohesh gjerat me nje sy tjeter?
SS: The book is about self-confidence, and about equality. And it turns out, everywhere in the world, women need more self-confidence, because the world tells us we're not equal to men. Everywhere in the world, we live in a world where the men get "and," and women get "or." I've never met a man who's been asked how he does it all. (Laughter)
SS: Libri flet per besimin ne vete dhe barazine. Dhe me sa duket ne te gjithe boten femrat kane me shume nevoje per vetebesim, sepse bota na thote se nuk jemi te barabarta me meshkujt. Ne jetojme ne nje bote ku meshkujt kane "dhe", ndersa femrat kane "ose". Une ende s'kam takuar nje mashkull qe e kane pyetur se si ia del t'i beje te gjitha. (te qeshura)
Again, I'm going to turn to the men in the audience: Please raise your hand if you've been asked, how do you do it all? (Laughter) Men only. Women, women. Please raise your hand if you've been asked how you do it all? We assume men can do it all, slash -- have jobs and children. We assume women can't, and that's ridiculous, because the great majority of women everywhere in the world, including the United States, work full time and have children.
Do t'u drejtohem edhe nje here meshkujve te publikut: Ju lutem te ngrene duart ata te cileve u eshte drejtuar pyetja, si arrin t'i besh te gjitha? (te qeshura) Vetem meshkujt. Femrat, femrat. Ju lutem ngrini duart nese keni degjuar ndonjehere pyetjen, si arrin t'i besh te gjitha? Ne mendojme se meshkujt mund t'i bejne te gjitha... si punen ashtu edhe femijet. Ndersa mendojme se femrat nuk mund t'ia dalin, dhe kjo eshte qesharake. sepse pjesa me e madhe e femrave ne bote, edhe ne Shtetet e Bashkuara, punojne me kohe te plote dhe kane edhe femije.
And I think people don't fully understand how broad the message is. There is a circle that's been started for rescued sex workers in Miami. They're using "Lean In" to help people make the transition back to what would be a fair life, really rescuing them from their pimps, and using it. There are dress-for-success groups in Texas which are using the book, for women who have never been to college. And we know there are groups all the way to Ethiopia. And so these messages of equality -- of how women are told they can't have what men can have -- how we assume that leadership is for men, how we assume that voice is for men, these affect all of us, and I think they are very universal. And it's part of what TEDWomen does. It unites all of us in a cause we have to believe in, which is more women, more voice, more equality.
Dhe une mendoj se njerezit nuk e kuptojne se sa i gjere eshte ky mesazh. Ne Miami eshte krijuar nje grup per punonjeset e seksit te shpetuara nga rruga. Ato po perdorin "Te bejme perpara" per te lehtesuar tranzicionin drejt nje jete te drejte, dhe per t'i shpetuar ato nga pronaret e tyre, ata po perdorin librin. Ne Texas librin po e perdorin gjithashtu grupet vishu-drejt-suksesit drejtuar femrave qe nuk kane ndjekur universitetin. Dijme se ekzistojne grupe deri edhe ne Etiopi. Pra keto mesazhe barazie - se femrat rriten me dijen se nuk mund te kene ate qe kane meshkujt - se ne mendojme qe lidershipi u takon meshkujve, se ne mendojme se vetem meshkujve mund t'u degjohet zeri, gjithe keto ndikojne tek ne, dhe une mendoj se jane universale. Kjo eshte pjese e asaj qe ben TEDWomen. Na bashkon te gjithave per nje kauze tek e cila duhet te besojme, qe eshte: me shume femra, ze me te forte, me shume barazi.
PM: If you were invited now to make another TEDWomen talk, what would you say that is a result of this experience, for you personally, and what you've learned about women, and men, as you've made this journey?
PM: Nese sot do te te ftonin te mbaje nje fjalim tjeter ne TEDWomen, cili do te ishte per ty personalisht rezultati i kesaj eksperience, dhe cfare ke mesuar prej femrave dhe meshkujve gjate ketij udhetimi.
SS: I think I would say -- I tried to say this strongly, but I think I can say it more strongly -- I want to say that the status quo is not enough. That it's not good enough, that it's not changing quickly enough. Since I gave my TED Talk and published my book, another year of data came out from the U.S. Census. And you know what we found? No movement in the wage gap for women in the United States. Seventy-seven cents to the dollar. If you are a black woman, 64 cents. If you are a Latina, we're at 54 cents. Do you know when the last time those numbers went up? 2002. We are stagnating, we are stagnating in so many ways. And I think we are not really being honest about that, for so many reasons. It's so hard to talk about gender. We shy away from the word "feminist," a word I really think we need to embrace. We have to get rid of the word bossy and bring back -- (Applause) I think I would say in a louder voice, we need to get rid of the word "bossy" and bring back the word "feminist," because we need it. (Applause)
SS: Mendoj se do te thosha se - mundova t'a them kete me force, por mendoj se mund t'a them edhe me fort - Do te thoja se status quo-ja nuk mjafton. Nuk mjafton, dhe gjerat nuk po ndryshojne me shpejtesine e duhur. Pasi dhashe fjalimin tim ne TED dhe publikova librin, censusi i SHBA nxorri te dhenat e vitit qe kaloi. Dhe e di cfare zbuluam? Nuk ka pasur asnje ndryshim ne diferencen e pages per femrat ne Shtetet e Bashkuara. Shtatedhjete e shtate cent ndaj nje dollari. Nese je grua e zeze, 64 cent. Nese je latino-amerikane, jemi tek 54 cent. A e di cila ishte hera e fundit qe keto shifra pesuan rritje? Viti 2002. Jemi vend-numero, vend-numero ne shume kendveshtrime. Dhe une mendoj se nuk po tregohemi mjaftueshem te sinqerte per shume arsye. Eshte e veshtire te flasesh per problemet gjinore. Ne turperohemi nga fjala "feministe", fjale te cilen une mendoj se duhet t'a bejme tonen. Duhet t'a harrojme fjalen prepotente dhe te riperdorim... (duartrokitje) Mendoj se duhet t'a them kete me ze me te larte, duhet t'a harrojme fjalen prepotente, dhe te riperdorim fjalen feministe, sepse kjo eshte e nevojshme. (duatrokitje)
PM: And we all need to do a lot more leaning in.
PM: Dhe duhet te bejme me shume perpara.
SS: A lot more leaning in.
SS: Shume me shume.
PM: Thank you, Sheryl. Thanks for leaning in and saying yes.
PM: Faleminderit, Sheryl. Faleminderit qe bere perpara dhe qe the po.
SS: Thank you.
SS: Faleminderit.
(Applause)
(duartrokitje)