So when I was in Morocco, in Casablanca, not so long ago, I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza. Faiza showed me photos of her infant son and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.
不久之前 我在摩洛哥的卡薩布蘭卡 (Casablanca) 遇到一位叫法伊札(Faiza)的未婚年經媽媽 她給我看她襁保中兒子的照片 跟我說她從受孕、懷胎到生產的經過
It was a remarkable tale, but Faiza saved the best for last. "You know, I am a virgin," she told me. "I have two medical certificates to prove it."
聼來挺精采的 但法伊札把最妙的部分留到最後 她說「妳知道我還是處女嗎?」 「我有兩份診斷證明」
This is the modern Middle East, where two millennia after the coming of Christ, virgin births are still a fact of life.
這發生在現代的中東地區 2千年後的耶穌誕生地 還是有處女產子的事
Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region talking to people about sex. Now, I know this might sound like a dream job, or possibly a highly dubious occupation,
我在阿拉伯地區巡講性事多年 她的故事只是我聽過的數百件之一 這工作聽來或許好到不像真的 以職業來說也引人猜疑
but for me, it's something else altogether. I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim. But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.
但我做這行是有其他原因的 我是回教徒,有一半埃及血統 卻在離阿拉伯家鄉很遠的加拿大成長
Like so many who straddle East and West, I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins. That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS, as a writer and a researcher and an activist. Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa, which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.
就像許多兼具東西文化背景的人 這些年我被自己的原生文化吸引,試圖深入了解 之所以研究性事,是因為 我在寫作、研究及社運中 所觸及的愛滋病現況 全球仍在升溫的2個愛滋疫區中, 中東和北非是其一 而愛滋病正在這兩地蔓延
Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens with which to study any society, because what happens in our intimate lives is reflected by forces on a bigger stage: in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations. As I found, if you really want to know a people, you start by looking inside their bedrooms.
性是很有效的檢視工具 可用以研究任何社會 因為性生活的經歷 也反映在更龐大的勢力中,像是 政治和經濟,宗教和傳統,性別和世代 我發現,如果你真要了解一個民族 就要從臥房內開始探究
Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied. But running across it are three red lines -- these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.
儘管阿拉伯世界龐大多樣 但有三條共同的底線 是不容人以言行挑戰的
The first of these is politics. But the Arab Spring has changed all that, in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011. Now while those in power, old and new, continue to cling to business as usual, millions are still pushing back, and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.
第一個是政治 但 2011 年起在阿拉伯地區遍地開花的 「阿拉伯之春」讓這事改觀了 當新舊權貴階級 盡力維持正常運作時 上百萬人仍在抗爭 企圖藉此改善生活
That second red line is religion. But now religion and politics are connected, with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood. And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions about the role of Islam in public and private life.
第二條底線是宗教 但像穆斯林兄弟會這樣的組織崛起後 政教目前是相互關聯的 而且有些人開始質疑 伊斯蘭教在公共與私生活中的定位
You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject, what do you think it might be?
至於第三條底線嘛! 是個避諱的主題 你們認為是什麼?
Audience: Sex.
(聽眾) 性
Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.
大聲點,我聽不到
Audience: Sex.
(聽眾) 性
SEF: Again, please don't be shy.
再說一次,不要害臊
Audience: Sex.
[聽眾] 性
SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter) Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage -- approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion and registered by the state. Marriage is your ticket to adulthood. If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place, and you're not supposed to be having sex, and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.
沒錯,完全正確! 就是「性」!(笑聲) 阿拉伯地區只容許婚姻中的性生活 指的是雙親同意,宗教許可 且向政府登記的婚姻 婚姻是邁入成年的象徵 不婚者不能搬出家裡 也不能有性行為 當然不該有小孩
It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress which resists any assault, any alternative. And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo against premarital sex, against condoms, against abortion, against homosexuality, you name it.
這種社會體制就像 一座牢不可破的堡壘 抗拒譴責和替代選項 除此外還有諸多禁忌 反對婚前性行為,反對保險套 反對墮胎,反對同性戀 可說不勝枚舉!
Faiza was living proof of this. Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking. Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity, in a patriarchy, boys will be boys. Men have sex before marriage, and people more or less turn a blind eye.
法伊札就是活生生的例證 她宣稱保有童真可不是一廂情願 雖然該地區各大宗教都推崇婚前守貞 不過在父權社會,狗改不了吃屎 男人婚前有性行為 人們多少都視而不見
Not so for women, who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night -- that is, to turn up with your hymen intact. This is not a question of individual concern, this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.
但女人可不能這樣 她們在新婚夜前都該是處女 換句話說,此前要保有處女膜「完璧」 這不單是個人問題 還關係著家族聲譽,尤其是男人的
And so women and their relatives will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy -- from female genital mutilation, to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.
所以女人和她們的親戚 會不惜一切維護這一小片生理構造 從女性割禮到處女鑑定 或處女膜重建術都有人用
Faiza chose a different route: non-vaginal sex. Only she became pregnant all the same. But Faiza didn't actually realize this, because there's so little sexuality education in schools, and so little communication in the family.
不過法伊札採取其他方式 非陰道性行為 只是最後她還是懷孕了 但法伊札本來不知道這點 因為學校幾乎沒有性教育 家裡也很少談這個
When her condition became hard to hide, Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers. This is because honor killings are a real threat for untold numbers of women in the Arab region. And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca, the man who offered to help her, instead tried to rape her.
事跡敗露後 法伊札的母親幫她逃脫父兄 這是因為在阿拉伯地區,「名譽殺人」 是數不清的女性面臨的真實威脅 當法伊札因臨盆被送進 卡薩布蘭卡的醫院時 那位幫她的男子 竟企圖強暴她
Sadly, Faiza is not alone. In Egypt, where my research is focused, I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel. There are legions of young men who can't afford to get married, because marriage has become a very expensive proposition. They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life, but they can't find jobs. This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings, and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage in much of the Arab region.
可悲的是,這不是特例 在埃及,也就是我主要研究的區域 我在醫院內外見過很多麻煩事 很多年輕男性 沒錢結婚 因為婚姻已成為代價昂貴的事 婚後他們要負擔家庭開銷 但又找不到工作 這就是最近暴動的主因之一 也是造成大部分阿拉伯地區 晚婚的原因之一
There are career women who want to get married, but can't find a husband, because they defy gender expectations, or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me, "The women, they are becoming more and more open. But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."
偏偏渴望婚姻的職業婦女 找不到對象 因為她們不符合典型的性別角色 就像突尼西亞的 一位年輕女醫生對我說的: 「女人變得更開放, 但男人依然食古不化!」
And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line, who have sex with their own sex, or who have a different gender identity. They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities, even their appearance. And they face a daily struggle with social stigma, with family despair, and with religious fire and brimstone.
還有人跨越異性戀的藩籬 進行同性間性行為 或者產生不同的性別認同 因為行為舉止,甚至外表 他們被迫承受法律制裁 還得日復一日抗拒社會 加諸其身的汙名及家人的絕望疏離 更還有來自信仰的譴責與煎熬
Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either. Couples who are looking for greater happiness, greater sexual happiness in their married lives, but are at a loss of how to achieve it, especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women if they show some spark in the bedroom.
不過,婚後性生活也不全然美滿 希望婚姻生活更快樂 性生活更滿足的夫妻 往往不得要領 尤其是妻子,害怕在床上熱情如火 會被當成壞女人
And then there are those whose marriages are actually a veil for prostitution. They have been sold by their families, often to wealthy Arab tourists. This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.
還有假結婚 真賣淫的 常見女性被家人賣給 富有的阿拉伯旅客 這只是冰山一角,事實上 性交易在阿拉伯一帶日益猖獗
Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you, from your part of the world. Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.
若這些事在你們那裏也常聽過 請你舉個手 看來對性事傷腦筋的不只阿拉伯人
And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region, It's pretty clear that something is not right. Double standards for men and women, sex as a source of shame, family control limiting individual choices, and a vast gulf between appearance and reality: what people are doing and what they're willing to admit to, and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers to a serious and sustained public discussion.
儘管沒有阿拉伯版的 《金賽報告》(Kinsey Reports) 顯示阿拉伯地區性生活的概況 但顯然有些不對勁! 對男性和女性有雙重標準 性事令人羞恥 家族限制個人選擇 表象與事實間落差很大 例如人們的所做所為 和願意坦承的部分間即是如此 人們通常寧可竊竊私語 也不願長期公開嚴肅地討論
As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me, "Here, sex is the opposite of sport. Football, everybody talks about it, but hardly anyone plays. But sex, everybody is doing it, but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)
有一位開羅醫生是這麼跟我說的: 「在這裡,性跟運動相反 大家都會討論足球 但幾乎沒人在踢 但儘管大家有性經驗 卻人人難以啟齒。」 (笑聲)
(Music) (In Arabic)
(阿拉伯語旁白的音樂)
SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice, which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.
我想給大家一個忠告 如果照著做,你們的生活就會變得快樂
When your husband reaches out to you, when he seizes a part of your body, sigh deeply and look at him lustily.
當先生對妳起了「性」趣 撫摸妳身體某部位時 長吁一口氣,並渴望地看著他
When he penetrates you with his penis, try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.
當他的陰莖插入時 試著淫聲浪語一番,並用身體配合他
Hot stuff! And it might sound that these handy hints come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn. But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure," which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia, and everything in between.
很辛辣! 這些實用的竅門聽來或許像是 出自<性愛聖經> (The Joy of Sex ) 或YouPorn網站 但其實是10世紀的一本阿拉伯書 《歡愉百科》(The Encyclopedia of Pleasure) 所提到的 內容有催情劑和人獸交 和其它性事
The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica, much of it written by religious scholars. Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad, there is a rich tradition in Islam of talking frankly about sex: not just its problems, but also its pleasures, and not just for men, but also for women. A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic. Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature, position and preference, a body of language that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.
這還只是阿拉伯 冗長色情書單的一本而已 其中大多是宗教學者編著的 回溯先知穆罕默德的時代 那時伊斯蘭信仰中早有 坦然議論性事的深厚傳統 不只談性疑惑,還有性快感 且迎合兩性的觀點需求 1000年前,阿拉伯曾有多部性典 內容涵蓋各種與性相關的專題 體位、性癖和其他眾多詞彙 豐富的語言足以 勾勒出這幅插圖中的女體
Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region. Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue. Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America on the brink of the sexual revolution.
不過在阿拉伯地區 這段來歷至今鮮為人知 即便是受過良好教育者,也常覺得 用外語談性比母語自在 現代性生活的概況 與早已歷經性革命的歐美十分相近
But while the West has opened on sex, what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction. In Egypt and many of its neighbors, this closing down is part of a wider closing in political, social and cultural thought. And it is the product of a complex historical process, one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism since the late 1970s. "Just say no" is what conservatives around the world say to any challenge to the sexual status quo. In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values. But what's really at stake here is one of their most powerful tools of control: sex wrapped up in religion.
儘管西方對性已開放 我們發現,阿拉伯社會卻似乎反其道而行 以埃及和許多鄰國而言 性這方面的封閉源自更廣泛的 政治、社會和文化上的閉鎖思想 是複雜的歷史演進所造成的 70年代晚期,伊斯蘭保守勢力崛起後 這樣的趨勢逐漸占上風 任何對既有性文化的挑戰 全世界保守勢力的反應是「拒絕就對了!」 在阿拉伯地區,相關企圖 被醜化為西方世界的陰謀 目的是破壞傳統的阿拉伯和伊斯蘭價值 但問題關鍵在於 以宗教包裝性議題 是保守勢力最有力的掌控方式
But history shows us that even as recently as our fathers' and grandfathers' day, there have been times of greater pragmatism, and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations: be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality. It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe. In these, as in so many other matters, Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray. (Laughter)
但歷史告訴我們,即便 我們父親或祖父輩那樣的近代 也曾有過更務實的觀點 更多包容且願接納不同詮釋 舉凡墮胎,自慰,甚至 備受爭議的同性戀議題 事情並非保守派 要我們相信的那樣絕對 就像其他事一樣,伊斯蘭信仰 在性方面至少還有《葛雷的50道陰影》 (笑聲) 譯註:《葛雷的50道陰影》 (Fifty Shades of Grey)是情色小說
Over my travels, I've met men and women across the Arab region who've been exploring that spectrum -- sexologists who are trying to help couples find greater happiness in their marriages, innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools, small groups of men and women, lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual, who are reaching out to their peers with online initiatives and real-world support. Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out and push back against sexual violence on the streets and in the home. Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV and other occupational hazards, and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.
在阿拉伯一帶旅行時 我遇過以各種途徑 探討性事的男女 有試圖協助夫妻 達成美滿婚姻的性學家 正力圖促成學校性教育的創新人士 形形色色的男女 女同志、男同志、不認同生理性別者和變性者 藉由網路倡議和實際支援 凝聚志同道合的人 很多女性和越來越多男性 開始公然抗拒 家庭與公共場所的性暴力 也有協助性工作者 預防愛滋病等職災的團體 還有幫助法伊札 這樣的未婚媽媽立足社會 讓她們可跟小孩待在一塊的非政府組織
Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded, and they face formidable opposition. But I am optimistic that, in the long run, times are changing, and they and their ideas will gain ground. Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation, beating or indeed baring of breasts, but rather through negotiation.
目前這些行動規模不大,也缺乏資助 所面臨的反對勢力也很難應付 但我相信假以時日 隨著時代改變,這些人和他們的想法 終會得到認同 針鋒相對無法帶動阿拉伯地區的社會變遷 義憤填膺或袒胸裸露也於事無補 協商反而可靠
What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution, but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world, adapting to local conditions, forging our own path, not following one blazed by another. That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies, and to access the information and services we need to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives. The right to express our ideas freely, to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners, to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when, all this without violence or force or discrimination.
我們此刻談的不是性革命 而是仿效其他地區的性進化 因地制宜後 獨樹一格,而非蕭規曹隨 但願這條路會帶我們找回身體自主權 並能利用相關資訊和服務 成就安全美滿的性生活 還有自由表達的權力 以及婚姻和伴侶選擇的自由 自決是否要規律的性生活? 要不要生小孩,何時生 不要有暴力,強迫,或歧視
Now we are very far from this across the Arab region, and so much needs to change: law, education, media, the economy, the list goes on and on, and it is the work of a generation, at least.
目前阿拉伯離此目標還很遠 很多地方需要改變 法律、教育、醫事、經濟 難以勝數 這至少要一個世代才能完成
But it begins with a journey that I myself have made, asking hard questions of received wisdoms in sexual life. And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith, and my appreciation of local histories and cultures by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.
但我的巡講算是個起頭 這當中我對傳承下來的性知識 提出很多難以回答的問題 旅程中見到原本一體適用的真理 也納入種種可能後, 我更加相信 和欣賞地方的歷史文化
Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region, talking about sex, challenging the taboos, seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.
在許多阿拉伯國家動盪不安的時候 還要討論性事,挑戰禁忌 尋求替代方案像是癡人說夢
But at this critical moment in history, if we do not anchor freedom and justice, dignity and equality, privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives, we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.
但目前對歷史而言至關重要 如果我們不穩固私生活和性生活的 自由、正當、尊嚴、平等 隱私和自主 公共生活上就更別談這些了!
The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all. no matter where we live and love.
無論我們身處何方,寄情何處 政治和性關係密切,放諸四海皆準
Thank you.
謝謝
(Applause)
(掌聲)