So when I was in Morocco, in Casablanca, not so long ago, I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza. Faiza showed me photos of her infant son and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.
我在摩洛哥的时候, 不久前,在卡萨布兰卡, 我遇到一个名叫法伊扎(Faiza)的年轻未婚妈妈。 法伊扎给我看了她儿子婴儿时期的照片 并且告诉了我她怀孕、妊娠、分娩的故事。
It was a remarkable tale, but Faiza saved the best for last. "You know, I am a virgin," she told me. "I have two medical certificates to prove it."
这是一个非凡的故事, 但是法伊扎把最重要的内容留在了最后。 “你知道吗,我是个处女“,她告诉我。 “我能拿出两份体检证明。”
This is the modern Middle East, where two millennia after the coming of Christ, virgin births are still a fact of life.
这是在现代的中东, 距离基督降生后又过了两千年, 可“童女生子”仍存在于现实生活中。
Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region talking to people about sex. Now, I know this might sound like a dream job, or possibly a highly dubious occupation,
法伊扎的故事不过是我这几年来 在阿拉伯地区旅游, 与人们谈论“性”中听过的许多故事中的一个。 我知道这听起来是梦想中的工作, 或者也许是个很值得怀疑的职业,
but for me, it's something else altogether. I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim. But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.
但对我来说,它完全是另一种东西。 我有一半的埃及血统,而且是个穆斯林。 但是我在加拿大长大,离我的阿拉伯根源很远。
Like so many who straddle East and West, I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins. That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS, as a writer and a researcher and an activist. Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa, which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.
就像许多东西方混血的人一样, 我被自己的祖源所吸引,并且多年来都尽力更好地理解它。 之所以选择性这个命题的原因在于 我在艾滋病毒(HIV)和艾滋病(AIDS)方面有学术背景。 既是作者、研究者,也是个活动家。 性是中东和北非新兴传染病的核心问题, 它们是世界上唯一两个HIV/AIDS病例还在持续上升的地区。
Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens with which to study any society, because what happens in our intimate lives is reflected by forces on a bigger stage: in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations. As I found, if you really want to know a people, you start by looking inside their bedrooms.
性是一个令人难以置信的放大镜 在研究任何社会问题的时候, 因为在我们亲密生活中所发生的事 被强有力地影射在了更大舞台上: 在政治和经济,宗教与传统,性别和一代代人之间。 当我发现,如果你真的想要了解一民族, 你得先看看他们的卧室。
Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied. But running across it are three red lines -- these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.
实话讲,阿拉伯文化是广阔和多元的。 但是有三条红线横跨其中—— 那些话题是你不能用言辞和行为去挑战的。
The first of these is politics. But the Arab Spring has changed all that, in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011. Now while those in power, old and new, continue to cling to business as usual, millions are still pushing back, and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.
首先是政治。 但“阿拉伯之春”已经改变了它, 起义自2011年在该地区展开。 如今,在新旧势力 继续一如既往墨守他们职责的同时, 上百万人依旧在反抗, 希望得到更好的生活。
That second red line is religion. But now religion and politics are connected, with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood. And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions about the role of Islam in public and private life.
第二根红线是宗教。 但现在,宗教和政治联系密切, 随着譬如穆斯林兄弟会这样的组织兴起。 有一些人,至少开始质疑, 关于伊斯兰教在公共与私人生活中的角色。
You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject, what do you think it might be?
至于那第三根红线,禁忌话题, 你觉得是什么?
Audience: Sex.
观众:"性。"
Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.
演讲者(Shereen El Feki):“大声点,我听不见。”
Audience: Sex.
观众:"性。"
SEF: Again, please don't be shy.
演讲者:“再说一遍,别害羞。”
Audience: Sex.
观众:"性。"
SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter) Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage -- approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion and registered by the state. Marriage is your ticket to adulthood. If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place, and you're not supposed to be having sex, and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.
演讲者:“当然,答对了,是性”(笑声) 在阿拉伯地区,性生活只允许出现在婚姻中—— 经父母允许,被宗教批准, 和经国家注册。 婚姻是你成人生活的入场券。 如果你不结婚,你就不能搬出父母家, 同时你不能有性行为, 并且你绝对不能有小孩。
It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress which resists any assault, any alternative. And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo against premarital sex, against condoms, against abortion, against homosexuality, you name it.
这是一个社会堡垒,是个坚不可摧的堡垒 它抵制了任何抨击,任何选择。 此外,诸多禁忌围绕着这个堡垒 反对婚前性行为,反对避孕, 反对堕胎,反对同性恋, 凡是你能想得到的。
Faiza was living proof of this. Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking. Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity, in a patriarchy, boys will be boys. Men have sex before marriage, and people more or less turn a blind eye.
法伊扎就是活生生的例子。 她的童贞声明不是一个一厢情愿的想法。 虽然这个地区的大多数宗教赞美婚前贞洁, 在父权制社会,男孩始终是男孩。 男人在婚前有性行为, 人们或多或少会视而不见。
Not so for women, who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night -- that is, to turn up with your hymen intact. This is not a question of individual concern, this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.
对女人就不是了, 她们被期待在新婚之夜是处女之身—— 就是,有完整的处女膜。 这不仅仅是个人问题, 这有关于一个家族的荣誉,具体来说,男人的荣誉。
And so women and their relatives will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy -- from female genital mutilation, to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.
所以女人们和她们的亲戚 会竭尽全力保存这小小一个身体部分—— 从女性生殖器官, 到童贞测试,到处女膜修复手术。
Faiza chose a different route: non-vaginal sex. Only she became pregnant all the same. But Faiza didn't actually realize this, because there's so little sexuality education in schools, and so little communication in the family.
法伊扎选择了一条不同的路径: 非阴道性交。 但是她和别人一样怀孕了。 但法伊扎并没有意识到这一点, 因为学校里几乎没有关于性教育的课, 家里也没有告诉她这方面的事。
When her condition became hard to hide, Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers. This is because honor killings are a real threat for untold numbers of women in the Arab region. And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca, the man who offered to help her, instead tried to rape her.
当她的情况变得难以掩饰, 法伊扎的母亲帮助她从父亲和兄长那里逃离。 这是因为阿拉伯地区的无数女性 受到为了荣誉被谋杀的威胁。 当法伊扎因临盆送进卡萨布兰卡的医院时, 那个提出帮助她的男子, 竟试图强暴她。
Sadly, Faiza is not alone. In Egypt, where my research is focused, I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel. There are legions of young men who can't afford to get married, because marriage has become a very expensive proposition. They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life, but they can't find jobs. This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings, and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage in much of the Arab region.
可悲的是,法扎伊并不是特例。 在埃及,也是我主要集中研究的地方, 我曾目睹堡垒内外许许多多的问题。 有大批年轻男子, 他们没钱结婚, 因为婚姻变成了一个异常昂贵的主张。 他们得负担婚后生活的费用, 但是他们找不到工作。 这是最近暴动的主导因素之一, 也是在大部分阿拉伯地区 晚婚的原因之一。
There are career women who want to get married, but can't find a husband, because they defy gender expectations, or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me, "The women, they are becoming more and more open. But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."
有想结婚的职业女性, 却找不到丈夫, 因为她们不符合人们对女性的期望, 换而言之,就像一个年轻的突尼斯女医生给我说的: “女人变得愈加开放。 而男人,他还停留在史前阶段!“
And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line, who have sex with their own sex, or who have a different gender identity. They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities, even their appearance. And they face a daily struggle with social stigma, with family despair, and with religious fire and brimstone.
然后就有跨越了异性恋界限的男人和女人, 也就是与同性做爱, 或是有不同的性别认同。 因为他们的行为,甚至是外表 就被迫接受法律的制裁。 并且他们每天都会面对成为社会污点的煎熬, 伴随着家里对他们的绝望 和信仰的谴责。
Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either. Couples who are looking for greater happiness, greater sexual happiness in their married lives, but are at a loss of how to achieve it, especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women if they show some spark in the bedroom.
然而婚后性生活也不一定都幸福美满。 那些寻求生活美满的夫妻, 期待婚后性生活美满的夫妻, 往往找不到要领, 尤其是那些一在床上表现积极 就怕被看作是坏女人的妻子。
And then there are those whose marriages are actually a veil for prostitution. They have been sold by their families, often to wealthy Arab tourists. This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.
有些婚姻的真面目 其实就是卖淫。 女人们被家里卖掉 通常被卖给富有的阿拉伯游客。 这只是在阿拉伯地区日益猖獗的性交易的冰山一角。
Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you, from your part of the world. Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.
现在,如果这些在你家乡发生过的, 请举手。 是的,并不是只有阿拉伯有性禁锢。
And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region, It's pretty clear that something is not right. Double standards for men and women, sex as a source of shame, family control limiting individual choices, and a vast gulf between appearance and reality: what people are doing and what they're willing to admit to, and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers to a serious and sustained public discussion.
虽然我们还没有阿拉伯金赛报告 来告诉我们在阿拉伯地区的卧房里到底发生了些什么。 显而易见,有些事情不对劲。 对男人女人有双重标准, 性事被当作羞耻之源, 家族限制了个人的选择, 表象与事实天差地别: 人们做的事, 和他们愿意承认的所作所为, 还有宁愿窃窃私语 也不愿长期、严肃的公开讨论。
As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me, "Here, sex is the opposite of sport. Football, everybody talks about it, but hardly anyone plays. But sex, everybody is doing it, but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)
正如一位在开罗的医生对我所说的, “在这里,性是运动的反义词。 所有人谈论足球, 但很少有人踢。 至于性,所有人都做过, 然而人人难以启齿。”(笑声)
(Music) (In Arabic)
(音乐)(阿拉伯语)
SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice, which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.
我想给你些建议, 假如照着做,你们的生活就会变得快乐。
When your husband reaches out to you, when he seizes a part of your body, sigh deeply and look at him lustily.
当你先生有性趣, 在他抚慰你的身体时, 深深地喘息并用渴望的眼神看着他。
When he penetrates you with his penis, try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.
在他的阴茎插入后, 试着淫声浪语一番然后用身体配合他的节奏。
Hot stuff! And it might sound that these handy hints come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn. But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure," which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia, and everything in between.
很热辣! 这些有用的技巧听起来像是 出自《性爱圣经》或YouPorn网站。 但实际上,它们出自于一本10世纪的阿拉伯书 叫《欢愉百科》, 它从催情药到人兽交都有涉及, 以及其他的性事。
The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica, much of it written by religious scholars. Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad, there is a rich tradition in Islam of talking frankly about sex: not just its problems, but also its pleasures, and not just for men, but also for women. A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic. Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature, position and preference, a body of language that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.
这本百科全书只是众多阿拉伯色情文学的一本, 大部分由宗教学者撰写而成。 一直追溯到先知默罕默德, 那时伊斯兰早有 坦然议论性事的深厚传统: 不仅谈论性疑惑,还有性快感, 不仅限于男人,还有女人。 1000年前,阿拉伯曾拥有多部性典。 内容包含各种与性相关的专题, 体味、性癖,和其他关于身体的词条 书中细腻得勾勒出女体如你所见在这页上。
Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region. Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue. Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America on the brink of the sexual revolution.
现今,这段历史在阿拉伯鲜为人知。 甚至那些教育良好的人,感觉谈论性 用外语比母语更自在。 现代性生活的概况 与早期经历过性革命的欧洲和美国十分相似。
But while the West has opened on sex, what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction. In Egypt and many of its neighbors, this closing down is part of a wider closing in political, social and cultural thought. And it is the product of a complex historical process, one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism since the late 1970s. "Just say no" is what conservatives around the world say to any challenge to the sexual status quo. In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values. But what's really at stake here is one of their most powerful tools of control: sex wrapped up in religion.
然而西方性早已开放, 但阿拉伯世界所走的道路却与此南辕北辙。 对于埃及与其他许多邻国而言, 这种性方面的封闭只是其他更广泛的 政治、社会、思想文化封闭内的一部分。 这是复杂历史演变的产物, 自70年代, 它就在伊斯兰保守主义内部落地生根。 “拒绝就对了”是世界各地的保守主义者 对于任何性文化的挑战的态度。 在阿拉伯地区,他们把相关企图认为是西方人 为了破坏传统阿拉伯和伊斯兰传统的阴谋。 但最关键的是 他们最权威的统治工具之一: 以宗教控制性。
But history shows us that even as recently as our fathers' and grandfathers' day, there have been times of greater pragmatism, and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations: be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality. It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe. In these, as in so many other matters, Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray. (Laughter)
但是历史证明即使在 我们父辈、祖父辈的近代, 也曾有过更务实的观点, 还有宽容,和包容其它异己的观点: 不管是堕胎,或手淫,甚至是备受争议的同性恋话题。 事情不像保守主义者想得那样非黑即白。 在这样那样的事情中, 伊斯兰教徒至少给我们了《格雷的50道阴影》(情色小说) (笑声)
Over my travels, I've met men and women across the Arab region who've been exploring that spectrum -- sexologists who are trying to help couples find greater happiness in their marriages, innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools, small groups of men and women, lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual, who are reaching out to their peers with online initiatives and real-world support. Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out and push back against sexual violence on the streets and in the home. Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV and other occupational hazards, and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.
在我的旅途中, 我在阿拉伯碰见过正在探索性事的 男人、女人们—— 想要协助夫妻婚姻生活 更美满的性学家们, 尝试在学校开展性教育课的改革者, 形形色色的男女, 女同,男同,不认同生理性别者和变性者, 他们通过网络倡议和实际支援 正在寻找同类。 女人,和越来越多的男人,开始 公然抗拒 公共场所和家庭里的性暴力。 也有协助性工作者防御艾滋病 和其他职业危害的团体, 还有非政府组织帮助像法扎伊那样的未婚母亲在社会上立足 帮助她们与孩子呆在一起。
Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded, and they face formidable opposition. But I am optimistic that, in the long run, times are changing, and they and their ideas will gain ground. Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation, beating or indeed baring of breasts, but rather through negotiation.
现在这些行动规模不大,经常资金不足, 而且面临着可怕的反对势力。 但是我持乐观态度,从长期来看, 时代在改变,他们与他们的想法 会得到认同。 在阿拉伯地区,社会改变不是通过戏剧化的对峙, 殴打或撕裂胸膛达成的, 而是通过谈判。
What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution, but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world, adapting to local conditions, forging our own path, not following one blazed by another. That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies, and to access the information and services we need to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives. The right to express our ideas freely, to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners, to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when, all this without violence or force or discrimination.
我们此刻说的不是性改革, 而是一个效仿世界其他地区的性进化, 适应当地条件, 对症下药而不是按部就班。 我希望这条路有一天能够带我们走向身体自主权, 能够得到我们需要的信息和服务, 成就安全美满的性生活。 自由表达想法的权利, 与自己选择的人结婚, 选择自己的配偶, 是否遵循规律的性生活, 决定时候要小孩和时间, 不要有暴力、威胁或歧视。
Now we are very far from this across the Arab region, and so much needs to change: law, education, media, the economy, the list goes on and on, and it is the work of a generation, at least.
目前阿拉伯离这项目标还很远, 而且很多地方需要改进: 法律,教育,传媒,经济, 数不胜数, 这需要至少一个世代的努力。
But it begins with a journey that I myself have made, asking hard questions of received wisdoms in sexual life. And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith, and my appreciation of local histories and cultures by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.
我的旅程只是个开始, 传承下来的性知识 提出难以回答的问题。 这个旅程只会增强我的信念, 和我对当地历史文化的欣赏 我原以为是真理的地方展现了可改善性。
Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region, talking about sex, challenging the taboos, seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.
目前一些阿拉伯国家动荡不安, 谈论性事,挑战禁忌, 寻找替代,听起来像是一种奢侈。
But at this critical moment in history, if we do not anchor freedom and justice, dignity and equality, privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives, we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.
但是在这历史的关键时期, 如果我们没有得到私生活和性生活中的 自由与正义, 尊严与平等, 隐私权与自主权, 我们就难以在公共生活中得到它们。
The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all. no matter where we live and love.
无论我们身处何方,心寄何处 政治和性都关系密切。
Thank you.
谢谢。
(Applause)
(掌声)