So when I was in Morocco, in Casablanca, not so long ago, I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza. Faiza showed me photos of her infant son and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.
Kada sam bila u Maroku u Kazablanci, ne tako davno, upoznala sam mladu neudatu majku po imenu Fajza. Fajza mi je pokazala slike svog sina koji je još beba i ispričala mi kako je začet, o trudnoći, o porođaju.
It was a remarkable tale, but Faiza saved the best for last. "You know, I am a virgin," she told me. "I have two medical certificates to prove it."
Bila je to odlična priča, ali Fajza je najlepše sačuvala za kraj. "Znate, ja sam devica", rekla mi je. "Imam dva medicinska sertifikata da to dokažu".
This is the modern Middle East, where two millennia after the coming of Christ, virgin births are still a fact of life.
Ovo je moderan Bliski istok, gde posle dva milenijuma od dolaska Hrista, device koje rađaju su i dalje činjenica života.
Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region talking to people about sex. Now, I know this might sound like a dream job, or possibly a highly dubious occupation,
Ova priča jedna je od sto koje sam čula dok sam putovala kroz arapski region i pričala sa ljudima o seksu. Sad, znam da to može da zvuči kao posao iz snova, ili možda kao vrlo dubiozno zanimanje,
but for me, it's something else altogether. I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim. But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.
ali za mene, to je nešto sasvim drugačije. Ja sam poluegipćanka, i muslimanka. Ali sam odrasla u Kanadi, daleko od mojih arapskih korena.
Like so many who straddle East and West, I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins. That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS, as a writer and a researcher and an activist. Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa, which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.
kao i mnogi koji se bore sa Istokom i Zapadom, privuklo me je, tokom godina, da pokušam da bolje shvatim moje poreklo. To što sam odabrala da proučim seks dolazi od moje pozadine iz HIV/AIDS, i kao pisca i istraživača i aktiviste. Seks je u srcu nastajuće epidemije u Bliskom istoku i Severnoj Africi, koji je jedan od dva regiona u svetu gde je HIV/AIDS i dalje u porastu.
Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens with which to study any society, because what happens in our intimate lives is reflected by forces on a bigger stage: in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations. As I found, if you really want to know a people, you start by looking inside their bedrooms.
Seksualnost je neverovatno moćno sočivo kojim može da se proučava bilo koje društvo, jer ono što se dešava u našim intimnim životima je odraz sila sa veće scene: politike, ekonomije, religije i tradicije, roda i generacije. Otkrila sam da, ako zaista želite da upoznate narod, krenete tako što im zavirite u spavaću sobu.
Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied. But running across it are three red lines -- these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.
Znajte, arapski svet je veliki i raznolik. ali kroz njega protiču tri crvene linije - ovo su teme koje ne bi trebalo da ispitujete ni u reči ni u delu.
The first of these is politics. But the Arab Spring has changed all that, in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011. Now while those in power, old and new, continue to cling to business as usual, millions are still pushing back, and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.
Prva od njih je politika. Ali Arapsko proleće je promenilo sve to, u ustancima koji cvetaju regionom od 2011. Dok oni koji vladaju, bili stari ili novi nastavljaju da se drže posla kao i obično, milioni i dalje idu unazad i idu ka onome što se nadaju da će biti bolji život.
That second red line is religion. But now religion and politics are connected, with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood. And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions about the role of Islam in public and private life.
Druga crvena linija je religija. Ali sada su religija i politika povezane, sa rađanjem grupa kao što su Muslimansko bratstvo. Neki ljudi bar počinju da postavljaju pitanja. o ulozi Islama u javnom i privatnom životu.
You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject, what do you think it might be?
Ova treća linija, ta tema van domašaja šta mislite, šta bi ona mogla da bude?
Audience: Sex.
Publika: Seks.
Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.
Šerin El Feki: Glasnije, ne čujem vas.
Audience: Sex.
Publika: Seks.
SEF: Again, please don't be shy.
ŠEF: Ponovo, molim vas ne stidite se.
Audience: Sex.
Publika: Seks.
SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter) Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage -- approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion and registered by the state. Marriage is your ticket to adulthood. If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place, and you're not supposed to be having sex, and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.
ŠEF: Apsolutno, tačno je, to je seks. (Smeh). U arapskoj regiji, jedini prihvaćen kontekst za seks je brak - odobren od strane roditelja, potvrđen religijom i registrovan u državi. Brak je vaša karta u odraslo doba. Ako se ne privežete, ne možete da se odselite iz roditeljske kuće, i ne bi trebalo da upražnjavate seks, i definitivno ne bi trebalo da imate decu.
It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress which resists any assault, any alternative. And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo against premarital sex, against condoms, against abortion, against homosexuality, you name it.
To je društvena citadela; neosvojiva tvrđava koja odoleva svakom napadu, svakoj alternativi. A oko tvrđave je široko polje tabua protiv seksa pre braka, protiv kondoma, protiv abortusa, protiv homoseksualizma, šta god poželite.
Faiza was living proof of this. Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking. Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity, in a patriarchy, boys will be boys. Men have sex before marriage, and people more or less turn a blind eye.
Fajza je živi dokaz. Njena izjava o nevinosti nije samo maštanje. Iako sve veće religije u regionu veličaju predbračnu čednost, u patrijarhatu, dečaci ostaju dečaci. Muškarci upražnjavaju seks pre braka, i ljudi se manje više prave da to ne vide.
Not so for women, who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night -- that is, to turn up with your hymen intact. This is not a question of individual concern, this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.
Ali tako nije za žene, od kojih se očekuje da budu device prve bračne noći- to jest, da im je netaknut himen. Ovo nije pitanje pojedinca, ovo je pitanje porodične časti, i posebno časti muškarca.
And so women and their relatives will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy -- from female genital mutilation, to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.
Žene i njihova rodbina će činiti svašta da sačuvaju ovaj mali deo njihove anatomije - od sakaćenja ženskih genitalija, do testa na nevinost, do operacije himena.
Faiza chose a different route: non-vaginal sex. Only she became pregnant all the same. But Faiza didn't actually realize this, because there's so little sexuality education in schools, and so little communication in the family.
Fajza je odabrala drugačiji put: nevaginalni seks. Samo što je ona svakako ostala trudna. Ali Faiza nije ovo shvatala, jer ima vrlo malo seksualnog obrazovanja u školama, i jako malo komunikacije u porodici.
When her condition became hard to hide, Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers. This is because honor killings are a real threat for untold numbers of women in the Arab region. And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca, the man who offered to help her, instead tried to rape her.
Kad je postalo teško da se sakrije njeno stanje, Fajzina majka joj je pomogla da pobegne od oca i braće. Ovo je zato jer su ubistva iz časti stvarna pretnja za neizreciv broj zena u arapskom regionu. Kada je Faiza konačno došla u bolnicu u Kazablanki, čovek koji se ponudio da joj pomogne, pokušao je da je siluje umesto toga.
Sadly, Faiza is not alone. In Egypt, where my research is focused, I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel. There are legions of young men who can't afford to get married, because marriage has become a very expensive proposition. They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life, but they can't find jobs. This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings, and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage in much of the Arab region.
Nažalost, Faiza nije usamljeni slučaj. U Egiptu, gde je fokusirano moje istraživanje, videla sam mnogo nevolja unutar i izvan citadele. Postoje legije mladih muškaraca koji ne mogu da priušte da se venčaju, jer je brak postao mnogo skup poduhvat. Od njih se očekuje da nose teret troškova života u braku a ne mogu da nađu posao. Ovo je jedan od bitnijih razloga nedavnih ustanaka, i jedan od razloga kasnijeg stupanja u brak u velikom delu arapske regije.
There are career women who want to get married, but can't find a husband, because they defy gender expectations, or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me, "The women, they are becoming more and more open. But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."
Ima žena sa karijerom koje žele da se udaju, ali ne mogu da nađu muža, jer prkose rodnim očekivanjima, ili kao što mi je objasnila mlada doktorka iz Tunisa, "Žene postaju sve otvorenije i otvorenije A muškarac, on je još uvek u praistorijskom dobu".
And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line, who have sex with their own sex, or who have a different gender identity. They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities, even their appearance. And they face a daily struggle with social stigma, with family despair, and with religious fire and brimstone.
A tu su i muškarci i žene koji prelaze heteroskesualnu granicu, koji imaju seks sa osobama svog pola, ili koji imaju različit rodni identitet. Oni od zakona dobijaju kazne za svoje aktivnosti, čak i njihovu pojavu. I suočavaju se sa svakodnevnom borbom sa društvenom stigmom sa očajem porodice i sa verskom osudom.
Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either. Couples who are looking for greater happiness, greater sexual happiness in their married lives, but are at a loss of how to achieve it, especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women if they show some spark in the bedroom.
A nije baš da je sve blistavo ni u bračnom životu. Parovi koji žele višu sreću, višu seksualnu sreću u bračnom životu, ali ne znaju kako to da postignu, pogotovo supruge, koje se boje da izgledaju kao loše žene ako pokažu neku iskru u krevetu.
And then there are those whose marriages are actually a veil for prostitution. They have been sold by their families, often to wealthy Arab tourists. This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.
Ima i onih čiji su brakovi u stvari veo za prostituciju. Porodice su ih prodale, često bogatim arapskim turistima. Ovo je samo jedno lice trgovine seksom u arapskoj regiji koja je u porastu.
Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you, from your part of the world. Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.
Podignite ruku ako vam se nešto od ovoga čini poznato, u vašem delu sveta. Da, mema samo arapski svet monopol nad seksualnim neprilikama.
And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region, It's pretty clear that something is not right. Double standards for men and women, sex as a source of shame, family control limiting individual choices, and a vast gulf between appearance and reality: what people are doing and what they're willing to admit to, and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers to a serious and sustained public discussion.
I iako još uvek nema arapskog Kinsijevog izveštaja, da nam kaže šta se tačno dešava u spavaćim sobama u arapskom regionu, prilično je očigledno da nešto nije u redu. Dvostruki standardi za muškarce i žene, seks kao izvor sramote, porodična kontrola koja ograničava izbor pojedinca, i veliki jaz između pojave i realnosti: onoga što ljudi rade i onoga što su voljni da priznaju, i sveopšte ustezanje da se pomeriš van privatnih šaputanja u ozbiljnu i podržanu javnu diskusiju.
As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me, "Here, sex is the opposite of sport. Football, everybody talks about it, but hardly anyone plays. But sex, everybody is doing it, but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)
Kao što mi je sumirao jedan doktor iz Kaira: "Seks je ovde obrnuto od sporta. Fudbal, o njemu svi govore, ali jedva da ga neko igra. Ali seks, svi ga imaju, ali niko o tome ne želi da priča".
(Music) (In Arabic)
(Muzika) (Na arapskom)
SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice, which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.
SEF: Daću vam jedan savet, ako ga prihvatite, bićete srećni u životu.
When your husband reaches out to you, when he seizes a part of your body, sigh deeply and look at him lustily.
Kada vas muž dodirne, kad vas uhvati, duboko udahnite i požudno ga pogledajte.
When he penetrates you with his penis, try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.
Kada prodre u vas svojim penisom, probajte da pričate zavodljivo sa njim, pomerajte se u harmoniji sa njim.
Hot stuff! And it might sound that these handy hints come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn. But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure," which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia, and everything in between.
Vrelo! I može da zvuči da su uslužni nagoveštaji iz "Radosti Seksa" ili sa "YouPorn". A u stvari su iz arapske knjige iz desetog veka koja se zove "Enciklopedija uživanja", koja pokriva seks od afrodizijaka do zoofilije, i sve između.
The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica, much of it written by religious scholars. Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad, there is a rich tradition in Islam of talking frankly about sex: not just its problems, but also its pleasures, and not just for men, but also for women. A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic. Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature, position and preference, a body of language that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.
Enciklopedija je jedna u dugom nizu arapske erotike, većinu su pisali religiozni naučnici. Sve do proroka Muhameda, postoji bogata tradicija u Islamu o otvorenom pričanju o seksu: ne samo o problemima, već i o uživanju, i ne samo za muškarce, već za žene. Pre hiljadu godina postojali su rečnici seksa na arapskom. Reči koje pokrivaju svaku seksualnu odliku pozu ili ono što je omiljeno, jezik dovoljno bogat da ocrta telo žene kao što vidite na ovoj strani.
Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region. Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue. Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America on the brink of the sexual revolution.
Danas je ova prošlost u velikoj meri nepoznata u arapskom regionu. Čak i kod obrazovanih ljudi, kojima je prijatnije da pričaju o seksu na stranom jeziku nego na svom. Današnji seksualni pejzaž dosta liči na Evropu i Ameriku na ivici seksualne revolucije.
But while the West has opened on sex, what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction. In Egypt and many of its neighbors, this closing down is part of a wider closing in political, social and cultural thought. And it is the product of a complex historical process, one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism since the late 1970s. "Just say no" is what conservatives around the world say to any challenge to the sexual status quo. In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values. But what's really at stake here is one of their most powerful tools of control: sex wrapped up in religion.
Ali dok se Zapad otvarao o seksu, saznali smo da su se arapska društva kretala u suprotnom pravcu. U Egiptu i mnogim susednim zemljama, ovo zatvaranje je deo šireg zatvaranja u političkom, društvenom i kulturnom mišljenju. I to je rezutat složenog istorijskog procesa, koji je zasnovan sa uzdizanju islamskog konzervativizma od kasnih sedamdesetih. "Samo recite ne" je ono što konzervativci širom sveta kažu na bilo koji izazov na dosadašnje seksualno stanje. U arapskom regionu, oni markiraju ove pokušaje kao zapadnjačku zaveru da se potkopaju tradicionalne arapske i islamske vrednosti. A ono što je zaista ovde u pitanju je jedno od njihovih najmoćnijih oružja za kontrolu: seks uvijen u religiju.
But history shows us that even as recently as our fathers' and grandfathers' day, there have been times of greater pragmatism, and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations: be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality. It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe. In these, as in so many other matters, Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray. (Laughter)
Ali nam istorija pokazuje da je čak i skoro, u danima naših očeva i pradeda, bilo većeg pragmatizma, i tolerancije i volje da se razmotre druga tumačenja: da li je to abortus, ili masturbacija, ili čak zapaljiva tema homoseksualnosti. Nije crno i belo, kao što bi konzervativci hteli da verujemo. U ovim, kao i mnogim drugim pitanjima, Islam nudi najmanje 50 nijansi sive. (Smeh)
Over my travels, I've met men and women across the Arab region who've been exploring that spectrum -- sexologists who are trying to help couples find greater happiness in their marriages, innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools, small groups of men and women, lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual, who are reaching out to their peers with online initiatives and real-world support. Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out and push back against sexual violence on the streets and in the home. Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV and other occupational hazards, and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.
Na mojim putovanjima, upoznala sam muškarce i žene u arapskom regionu koji su istraživali taj spektar - seksolozi koji pokušavaju da pomognu parovima da nađu sreću u svojim brakovima, inovatori koji uspevaju da uvedu seksualno obrazovanje u škole, male grupe muškaraca i žena lezbejke, gej muškarci, transrodni, transeksualci koji traže sebi slične preko onlajn inicijativa, i uz podršku iz stvarnog sveta. Žene, i sve češće muškarci, koji počinju da glasno govore i potiskuju seksualno nasilje na ulicama i kod kuće. Grupe koje pokušavaju da pomognu seksualnim radnicima da se zaštite od HIVa i drugih rizika posla i NVO koje pomažu neudatim majkama kao što je Fajza da nađu mesto u društvu, i što je važno, ostanu sa svojom decom.
Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded, and they face formidable opposition. But I am optimistic that, in the long run, times are changing, and they and their ideas will gain ground. Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation, beating or indeed baring of breasts, but rather through negotiation.
Ovi napori su mali, često malo plaćeni, i suočavaju se sa teškom opozicijom Ali sam ja optimista, da će se na duže staze vremena promeniti, i oni i njihove ideje će biti prihvaćene. Društvena promena se u arapskoj regiji ne dešava kroz dramatični sukob, tučom ili razgolićivanjem grudi, već kroz pregovore.
What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution, but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world, adapting to local conditions, forging our own path, not following one blazed by another. That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies, and to access the information and services we need to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives. The right to express our ideas freely, to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners, to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when, all this without violence or force or discrimination.
Ovde ne pričamo o seksualnoj revoluciji, već seksualnoj evoluciji, učenjem iz drugih delova sveta, prilagođavanjem lokalnim uslovima, kovanjem sopstvenog puta, ne praćenjem drugih. Nadam se da će nas jednog dana taj put dovesti do prava da kontrolišemo naša tela i da dobijemo informacije i usluge koji nam trebaju da vodimo zadovoljavajuće i sigurne seksualne živote. Pravo da slobodno izrazimo svoje ideje, da mi odaberemo za koga se udajemo, da biramo svoje partnere, da budemo seksualno aktivni ili ne, da odlučimo da li želimo da imamo decu i kada,
Now we are very far from this across the Arab region, and so much needs to change: law, education, media, the economy, the list goes on and on, and it is the work of a generation, at least.
sve ovo bez nasilja, sile ili diskriminacije. Sad smo mnogo daleko od ovoga u arapskoj regji, i mnogo toga treba da se promeni: pravo, obrazovanje, mediji, ekonomija, lista se nastavlja,
But it begins with a journey that I myself have made, asking hard questions of received wisdoms in sexual life. And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith, and my appreciation of local histories and cultures by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.
i ovo je u najmanju ruku posao jedne generacije. Ali počinje putem koji sam sama prešla, postavljajući teška pitanja o dobijenoj mudrosti seksualnog života. I to je putovanje koje je jedino poslužilo da ojača moju veru, i da cenim lokalnu istoriju i kulture
Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region, talking about sex, challenging the taboos, seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.
prikazivanjem mogućnosti gde sam nekad samo videla apsolutnost. S obzirom na prevrate u mnogim arapskim zemljama u regionu, razgovaranje o seksu, ispitivanje tabua,
But at this critical moment in history, if we do not anchor freedom and justice, dignity and equality, privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives, we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.
potraga za alternativama može da zvuči kao nešto luksuzno. Ali u ovom kritičnom trenutku u istoriji, ako ne učvrstimo slobodu i pravdu, dostojanstvo i jednakost, privatnost i autonomiju u našim ličnim i seksualnim životima,
The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all. no matter where we live and love.
vrlo teško ćemo to postići u javnom životu. Politika i seks su partneri u krevetu, i to je tačno za sve nas,
Thank you.
bez obzira gde živimo i volimo.
(Applause)
Hvala vam.