So when I was in Morocco, in Casablanca, not so long ago, I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza. Faiza showed me photos of her infant son and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.
Kad sam bila u Maroku, u Casablanci, ne tako davno, upoznala sam mladu neudanu majku Faizu. Faiza mi je pokazala fotografije svog malog sina i ispričala mi je priču njegova začeća, trudnoće i poroda.
It was a remarkable tale, but Faiza saved the best for last. "You know, I am a virgin," she told me. "I have two medical certificates to prove it."
Bila je to izvanredna priča, ali Faiza je sačuvala najbolje za kraj. "Znaš, ja sam djevica," rekla mi je. "Imam dva medicinska certifikata kao dokaz."
This is the modern Middle East, where two millennia after the coming of Christ, virgin births are still a fact of life.
Ovo je moderni Bliski Istok, gdje su dva tisućljeća poslije Kristovog dolaska, djevičanski porodi još životna činjenica.
Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region talking to people about sex. Now, I know this might sound like a dream job, or possibly a highly dubious occupation,
Faizina priča je samo jedna od mnogih koje sam čula tijekom godina, putujući diljem arapske regije pričajući s ljudima o seksu. Sad, znam da ovo zvuči kao posao iz snova, ili možda jako sumnjivo zanimanje,
but for me, it's something else altogether. I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim. But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.
ali za mene, to je potpuno nešto drugo. Ja sam poluegipćanka i muslimanka sam. Ali odrasla sam u Kanadi, daleko od mojih arapskih korijena.
Like so many who straddle East and West, I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins. That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS, as a writer and a researcher and an activist. Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa, which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.
Kao mnogi drugi koji su podvojeni između Istoka i Zapada, bila sam ponukana, tijekom godina, bolje razumjeti svoje korijenje. Tako da moj pogled na seks dolazi do moje pozadine u HIV-u/AIDS-u, kao spisateljice, istraživačice i aktivistkinje. Seks leži u srcu nastajanja epidemije na Bliskom Istoku i sjevernoj Africi, koja je jedna od samo dvije regije u svijetu gdje je HIV/AIDS još uvijek u porastu.
Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens with which to study any society, because what happens in our intimate lives is reflected by forces on a bigger stage: in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations. As I found, if you really want to know a people, you start by looking inside their bedrooms.
Seksualnost je nevjerojatno moćna leća za promatranje bilo kojeg društva, jer ono što se događa u našim intimnim životima odražava snagu na višoj razini: u politici i ekonomiji, u religiji i tradiciji, u spolu i naraštajima. Smatram da, ako stvarno želite poznavati ljude, počnete s gledanjem unutar njihovih spavaćih soba.
Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied. But running across it are three red lines -- these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.
Znamo da je arapski svijet širok i raznolik. Ali trčanje preko njega su tri crvene crte -- ovo su teme koje ne biste smjeli izazivati u riječima ili djelu.
The first of these is politics. But the Arab Spring has changed all that, in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011. Now while those in power, old and new, continue to cling to business as usual, millions are still pushing back, and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.
Prva od njih je politika. Ali arapsko proljeće promijenilo je sve to u ustancima koji su procvjetali diljem regije od 2011. Dok se oni na moći, stari i novi, i dalje drže posla po starom, milijuni se i dalje vuku nazad, i vuku naprijed k onome što se nadaju da će biti bolji život.
That second red line is religion. But now religion and politics are connected, with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood. And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions about the role of Islam in public and private life.
Ta druga crvena linija je religija. Ali sad su religija i politika povezane, s porastom grupa poput Muslimanskog bratstva. I neki ljudi barem počinju postavljati pitanja o ulozi Islama u javnom i privatnom životu.
You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject, what do you think it might be?
Znate, za tu treću crvenu liniju koja prelazi granice, što mislite da bi moglo biti?
Audience: Sex.
Publika: Seks.
Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.
Shereen El Feki: Glasnije, ne čujem vas.
Audience: Sex.
Publika: Seks.
SEF: Again, please don't be shy.
SEF: Ponovno, molim vas ne budite sramežljivi.
Audience: Sex.
Publika: Seks.
SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter) Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage -- approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion and registered by the state. Marriage is your ticket to adulthood. If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place, and you're not supposed to be having sex, and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.
SEF: Apsolutno tako je, to je seks. (Smijeh) Diljem arapske regije, jedini prihvatljivi kontekst za seks je brak -- koji su dozvolili tvoji roditelji, koji je religija potvrdila i država registrirala. Brak je karta za zrelost. Ako ne uplovite u bračne vode, ne možete se iseliti iz kuće roditelja, i ne biste se smjeli seksati, i definitivno ne biste smjeli imati djece.
It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress which resists any assault, any alternative. And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo against premarital sex, against condoms, against abortion, against homosexuality, you name it.
To je društvena citadela; to je neosvojiva tvrđava koja se opire svakom napadu, svakoj alternativi. I oko tvrđave je ogromno polje tabua protiv predbračnog seksa, protiv kondoma, protiv pobačaja, protiv homoseksualnosti, samo recite.
Faiza was living proof of this. Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking. Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity, in a patriarchy, boys will be boys. Men have sex before marriage, and people more or less turn a blind eye.
Faiza je bila živući dokaz ovoga. Njena izjava o djevičanstvu nije plod njenih želja. Iako glavne religije u regiji veličaju predbračno djevičanstvo, u patrijarhatu, dečki će biti dečki. Muškarci se seksaju prije braka, i ljudi im manje-više progledaju kroz prste.
Not so for women, who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night -- that is, to turn up with your hymen intact. This is not a question of individual concern, this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.
Ali tako nije za žene, za koje se očekuje da će biti djevice u prvoj bračnoj noći -- to jest, da se pojave s netaknutim himenom. To se ne tiče samo pojedinca, to je pitanje obiteljske časti, a posebice, muškarčeve časti.
And so women and their relatives will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy -- from female genital mutilation, to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.
Pa tako žene i njihovi rođaci će ići jako daleko da očuvaju ovaj maleni dio anatomije -- od ženskih genitalnih mutilacija, preko testiranja djevičanstva do operacija obnove himena.
Faiza chose a different route: non-vaginal sex. Only she became pregnant all the same. But Faiza didn't actually realize this, because there's so little sexuality education in schools, and so little communication in the family.
Faiza je odabrala drugačiji put: nevaginalni seks. Samo je ona svejedno ostala trudna. Ali Faiza to zapravo nije shvaćala, jer je seksualna edukacija u školama mala, i malo je komunikacije u obitelji.
When her condition became hard to hide, Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers. This is because honor killings are a real threat for untold numbers of women in the Arab region. And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca, the man who offered to help her, instead tried to rape her.
Kad je došla do toga da ne može lako sakriti svoje stanje, Faizina majka joj je pomogla da izbjegne oca i brata. Zato što su ubijanja u ime časti stvarna prijetnja za neopisivo velik broj žena u arapskoj regiji. I kad se Faiza konačno dohvatile bolnice u Casablanci, čovjek koji joj je ponudio pomoć, pokušao ju je silovati.
Sadly, Faiza is not alone. In Egypt, where my research is focused, I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel. There are legions of young men who can't afford to get married, because marriage has become a very expensive proposition. They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life, but they can't find jobs. This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings, and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage in much of the Arab region.
Nažalost, Faiza nije jedina. U Egiptu, gdje je moje istraživanje usredotočeno, vidjela sam mnoge nevolje unutar i izvan citadele. Postoje legije mladih muškaraca koji si ne mogu priuštiti brak, jer je brak postao vrlo skupa propozicija. Od njih se očekuje da snose teret troškova u bračnom životu, ali oni ne mogu naći posao. To je jedan od glavnih pokretača nedavnih ustanaka, i jedan od razloga za podizanje dobi ulaska u brak u većini arapske regije.
There are career women who want to get married, but can't find a husband, because they defy gender expectations, or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me, "The women, they are becoming more and more open. But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."
Tu su također karijeristice koje se žele udati, ali ne mogu pronaći muža, jer one prkose rodnim očekivanjima, ili kako mi je rekla jedna mlada doktorica u Tunisu, "Žene postaju sve više otvorenijima. Ali muškarac je još uvijek u predhistorijskoj fazi."
And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line, who have sex with their own sex, or who have a different gender identity. They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities, even their appearance. And they face a daily struggle with social stigma, with family despair, and with religious fire and brimstone.
Zatim su tu muškarci i žene koji prolaze heteroseksualnu liniju, koji se seksaju s istim spolom, ili imaju različiti rodni identitet. Oni su na krajevima zakona koji kažnjavaju njihove aktivnosti, čak i njihov izgled. I svakodnevno se suočavaju s borbom protiv društvene stigme, s obiteljskim očajem, i religijskom vatrom.
Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either. Couples who are looking for greater happiness, greater sexual happiness in their married lives, but are at a loss of how to achieve it, especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women if they show some spark in the bedroom.
Nadalje, nije ni da je sve ružičasto u bračnom krevetu. Parovi koji se nadaju većoj sreći, većoj seksualnoj sreći u svojim bračnim životima, ali ne znaju kako ju postići, posebice žene, koje se boje da će ih se promatrati kao loše žene ako pokažu malo iskre u spavaćoj sobi.
And then there are those whose marriages are actually a veil for prostitution. They have been sold by their families, often to wealthy Arab tourists. This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.
I onda su tu oni čiji su brakovi zapravo krinka za prostituciju. Njihove obitelji su ih prodale, često dobrostojećim arapskim turistima. Ovo je samo jedna strana sve veće seksualne trgovine diljem arapske regije.
Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you, from your part of the world. Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.
Sad podignite ruku ako vam ovo zvuči poznato, iz vašeg dijela svijeta. Da. Nije da samo arapski svijet ima monopol nad seksualnim psihološkim blokadama.
And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region, It's pretty clear that something is not right. Double standards for men and women, sex as a source of shame, family control limiting individual choices, and a vast gulf between appearance and reality: what people are doing and what they're willing to admit to, and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers to a serious and sustained public discussion.
I premda nemamo još arapski Kinsey Report koji će nam govoriti što se događa unutar spavaćih soba diljem arapske regije, poprilično je jasno da nešto nije u redu. Dvostruki standardi za muškarce i žene, seks kao izvor srama, obitelj kontrolira individualne izbore, i veliki jaz između vanjštine i realnosti: što ljudi rade i što su voljni priznati, i općenito opiranje da pomakne iznad privatnih šaputanja prema ozbiljnoj i javno podržanoj raspravi.
As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me, "Here, sex is the opposite of sport. Football, everybody talks about it, but hardly anyone plays. But sex, everybody is doing it, but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)
Kao što mi je jedan liječnik u Kairu sažeo, "Ovdje je seks suprotan od sporta. Nogomet, svi pričaju o njemu, ali ga malo tko igra. Ali seks, svi to rade, ali nitko ne priča o tome." (Smijeh)
(Music) (In Arabic)
(Glazba) (na arapskom)
SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice, which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.
SEF: Htjela bih vam dati savjet, koji, ako ćete ga slijediti, usrećiti će vas.
When your husband reaches out to you, when he seizes a part of your body, sigh deeply and look at him lustily.
Kad vaš muž dođe do vas, kad posegne za dio vašeg tijela, uzdahnite duboko i pogledajte ga oduševljeno.
When he penetrates you with his penis, try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.
Kad penetrira u vas sa svojim penisom, pokušajte zavodljivo pričati i kretati se u harmoniji s njim.
Hot stuff! And it might sound that these handy hints come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn. But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure," which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia, and everything in between.
Vruće stvari! Može vam zvučati da ovi praktični savjeti dolaze iz "Radosti seksa" ili YouPorna. Ali ustvari, oni dolaze iz arapske knjige iz 10. stoljeća nazvane "Enciklopedija užitka" koja pokriva seks od afrodizijaka do zoofilije i svega između toga.
The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica, much of it written by religious scholars. Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad, there is a rich tradition in Islam of talking frankly about sex: not just its problems, but also its pleasures, and not just for men, but also for women. A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic. Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature, position and preference, a body of language that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.
Enciklopedija je samo jedna iz duge linije arapske erotike, mnoge od njih napisali su religijski učenjaci. Vratimo li se nazad do Proroka Muhameda, postoji bogata tradicija u Islamu iskrenog pričanja o seksu: ne samo o problemima, već i o užitcima, ne samo za muškarce, već i za žene. Prije tisuću godina imali smo cijele rječnike seksa na arapskom. Riječi koje su pokrivale svaku zamislivu seksualnu značajku, pozu i preferenciju, govor tijela koji je bio dovoljno bogat da opiše tijelo žene koje vidite na ovoj stranici.
Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region. Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue. Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America on the brink of the sexual revolution.
Danas, ova povijest je jako nepoznata u arapskoj regiji. Čak i za obrazovane ljude, koji se često osjećaju opuštenijima pričati o seksu na stranom jeziku, nego na vlastitom. Današnji seksualni krajolik izgleda poput Europe i Amerike na rubu seksualne revolucije.
But while the West has opened on sex, what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction. In Egypt and many of its neighbors, this closing down is part of a wider closing in political, social and cultural thought. And it is the product of a complex historical process, one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism since the late 1970s. "Just say no" is what conservatives around the world say to any challenge to the sexual status quo. In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values. But what's really at stake here is one of their most powerful tools of control: sex wrapped up in religion.
Ali dok se Zapad otvorio seksu, čini se da se ono što pronalazimo u apraskim društvima kreće u suprotnom smjeru. U Egiptu i mnogim susjednim zemljama, ovo zatvaranje je dio većeg zatvaranja u političkom, društvenom i kulturnom smislu. I proizvod je složenog povijesnog procesa koji je dobio zemlju s porastkom islamskog konzervatizma od kasnih 1970-ih. "Samo reci ne", kažu konzervativci diljem svijeta na bilo koji izazov današnjeg seksualnog stanja. U arapskoj regiji takve pokušaje smatraju dijelom zapadne zavjere da unište tradicionalne arapske i islamske vrednote. No, ono što je ovdje stvarno na kocki je jedan od najmoćnijih alata kontrole: seks umotan u religiju.
But history shows us that even as recently as our fathers' and grandfathers' day, there have been times of greater pragmatism, and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations: be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality. It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe. In these, as in so many other matters, Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray. (Laughter)
Ali povijest nam pokazuje da je čak i nedavno, za vrijeme naših očeva i djedova, čak bilo razdoblja većeg pragmatizma, tolerancije i želje uzeti u obzir druge interpretacije: bio to pobačaj, masturbacija, ili čak goruća tema homoseksualnosti. Nije tako crno i bijelo, kao što bi konzervativci htjeli da vjerujemo. U ovim, kao i u mnogim drugima stvarima, Islam nam nudi barem 50 nijansi sive. (Smijeh)
Over my travels, I've met men and women across the Arab region who've been exploring that spectrum -- sexologists who are trying to help couples find greater happiness in their marriages, innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools, small groups of men and women, lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual, who are reaching out to their peers with online initiatives and real-world support. Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out and push back against sexual violence on the streets and in the home. Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV and other occupational hazards, and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.
Tijekom svojih putovanja, susretala sam muškarce i žene diljem arapske regije koji istražuju taj spektar -- seksolozi koji pokušavaju pomoći parovima da pronađu veću sreću u svojim brakovima, inovatori koji pokušavaju uvesti seksualnu edukaciju u škole, male grupe muškaraca i žena, lezbijka, homoseksualaca, transrodnih i transseksualnih osoba koje pokušavaju doprijeti do svojih vršnjaka s online inicijativama i podrškama u stvarnom svijetu. Žene, i sve više muškaraca, koji progovaraju i bore se protiv seksualnog zlostavljanja na ulicama i u domovima. Skupine koje pokušavaju pomoći ljudima u seksualnoj industriji da se zaštite od HIV-a i ostalih profesionalnih opasnosti, i nevladine organizacije koje pomažu nevjenčanim majkama poput Faize da pronađu mjesto u društvu, i kritično, ostanu sa svojom djecom.
Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded, and they face formidable opposition. But I am optimistic that, in the long run, times are changing, and they and their ideas will gain ground. Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation, beating or indeed baring of breasts, but rather through negotiation.
Ali ovi napori su maleni, često nedovoljni, i suočavaju se s groznim opozicijama. Ali vjerujem da se na duže staze vremena mijenjaju, i da će oni i njihove ideje naići na plodno tlo. Društvene promjene u arapskoj regiji se ne događaju kroz dramatična suočavanja, tučnjavu ili otkrivanje grudi, nego putem pregovora.
What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution, but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world, adapting to local conditions, forging our own path, not following one blazed by another. That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies, and to access the information and services we need to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives. The right to express our ideas freely, to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners, to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when, all this without violence or force or discrimination.
Ovdje ne pričamo o seksualnoj revoluciji već o seksualnoj evoluciji, učeći iz drugih dijelova svijeta, prilagođavajući se lokalnim prilikama, kovanjem vlastite sudbine, a ne slijedeći tuđu. Taj put, nadam se, jednog dana će nas dovesti do kontrole naših tijela, i pristupu podatcima i servisima koje trebamo da vodimo zadovoljne i mirne seksualne živote. Pravo da slobodno izrazimo naše ideje, da se vjenčamo s onima koje odaberemo, da biramo vlastite partnere, da budemo seksualni aktivni ili ne budemo, da odlučimo želimo li imati djecu i kada, sve to bez nasilja ili sile, ili diskriminacije.
Now we are very far from this across the Arab region, and so much needs to change: law, education, media, the economy, the list goes on and on, and it is the work of a generation, at least.
Mi smo jako daleko od ovog u arapskoj regiji, a toliko toga se treba promijeniti: zakon, obrazovanje, mediji, ekonomija, popis je dug, i to je rad barem jedne generacije.
But it begins with a journey that I myself have made, asking hard questions of received wisdoms in sexual life. And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith, and my appreciation of local histories and cultures by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.
Ali počinje s putovanjem koje sam sama započela, postavljajući teška pitanja primljene mudrosti u seksualnom životu. I to je putovanje koje mi je samo ojačalo vjeru, i moje razumijevanje lokalnih povijesti i kultura pokazujući mi mogućnosti gdje sam nekad vidjela samo apsolute.
Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region, talking about sex, challenging the taboos, seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.
Dajući previranja u mnogim zemljama diljem arapske regije, pričajući o seksu, izazivajući tabue, tražeći inačice koje mogu zvučati kao luksuz.
But at this critical moment in history, if we do not anchor freedom and justice, dignity and equality, privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives, we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.
Ali u ovom kritičnom povijesnom trenutku, ako ne usidrimo slobodu i pravdu, dostojanstvo i jednakost, privatnost i autonomiju u svojim osobnim životima, u svojim seksualnim životima, teško ćemo ih postići i u javnom životu.
The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all. no matter where we live and love.
Političnost i seksualnost su intimni partneri, i to je istina za sve nas. Bez obzira gdje živimo i volimo.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)