I frequently miss entire days
caught in my brain’s spider webs
but if I happen to look up in time
to notice that the darkness
still has a little daylight left to swallow
I will ivy up the fire escape to catch
whatever embers of the day
are still slow dying behind New Jersey
and last week through the fog
of my loneliness I realized
the living room was slippery pink
which I knew meant
a light show must be on display
so with a quickness I reserve for emergencies
I scampered to the roof and sure enough
an explosion of upside-down clementine cotton candy cloud wisps
was tie-dyeing the Hudson River neon
and I swear I am not a lightweight
but I was colordrunk immediately
dizzy with gasp and skyward-reaching
hoping my fingers might find
a bell I could ring
that would summon all of New York City
to look up! and west!
but there was no bell and no one to call
just my own astonishment
still willing to answer after the first ring
how predictable: one good sunset
and I release my nihilism
like rose petals behind a bridal gown
look I have married my cynicism
and renewed my vows
but it didn’t stop the streetlights
from coming on at the exact moment I passed beneath them
when nobody else was in the park to see it
like the whole city was winking
and yes I blushed
the way I do whenever someone beautiful flirts with me
I haven’t stopped thinking about death
I am just wringing every last jaw-drop
from the tissue between heartbreaks
On a long run outside the city
along a highway and
miles from any shoreline
I found a starfish alone on the asphalt
an unsolvable mystery
with no witness to corroborate
and there I was again
wandering the streets of
Bewilderville: Population 1
what else could I possibly do
but swing wide the doors of my delight
to this patron saint of unbelonging
fragile and whole and so far from home
if you too have been the one nobody asked to dance
I’ve got a starfish I’d love to introduce you to
and I don’t have any proof
but one time the wind
or my ancestors or unseasonal warmth
carried three hawks
to my kitchen windowsill
to rattle my coffin to cocoon
and two of them left
but one of them stayed
eyed me through the glass
like a promise or a dare
and so lately I am trying
to pick up
when the universe calls
(Applause)
