In our culture we tend to see sex as something that's more important to men than it is to women. But that's not true. What is true is that women often feel more shame in talking about it. Over half of women quietly suffer from some kind of sexual dysfunction. We've been hearing more about the orgasm gap. It's kind of like the wage gap but stickier ...
U našoj kulturi imamo tendenciju da seks posmatramo kao nešto što je važnije muškarcima nego ženama. Ali to nije istina. Ono što je istina je da je žene često više sramota da pričaju o tome. Više od polovine žena tiho pati od neke vrste seksualne disfunkcije. Dosta smo slušali o jazu u orgazmu. To je nešto slično jazu u platama, samo malo lepljivije...
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Straight women tend to reach climax less than 60 percent of the time they have sex. Men reach climax 90 percent of the time they have sex. To address these issues, women have been sold flawed medication, testosterone creams ... even untested genital injections.
Heteroseksualne žene obično dostižu vrhunac prilikom seksa u manje od 60 procenata. Muškarci dostižu vrhunac u 90 posto slučajeva prilikom seksa. Kako bi rešili problem, ženama se prodaju pogrešni lekovi, testoteronske kreme... čak i netestirane genitalne injekcije.
The thing is, female sexuality can't be fixed with a pill. That's because it's not broken: it's misunderstood. Our culture has had a skewed and medically incorrect picture of female sexuality going back centuries. If over half of women have some kind of sexual problem, maybe our idea of sexuality doesn't work for women. We need a clearer understanding of how women actually work.
Stvar je u tome da ženska seksualnost ne može da se popravi pilulama. Zato što ona nije pokvarena, već samo pogrešno protumačena. Naša kultura ima iskrivljenu i medicinski neispravnu sliku ženske seksualnosti i to već vekovima unazad. Ako više od polovine žena ima neki seksualni problem, možda naše viđenje seksualnosti nije primenljivo kod žena. Potrebno nam je jasnije razumevanje kako žene u stvari funcionišu.
I'm a journalist, and I recently wrote a book about how our understanding of female sexuality is evolving. So sexuality itself was defined back when men dominated science. Male scientists tended to see the female body through their own skewed lens. They could've just asked women about their experience. Instead they probed the female body like it was a foreign landscape. Even today we debate the existence of female ejaculation and the G-spot like we're talking about aliens or UFOs. "Are they really out there?"
Ja sam novinarka i nedavno sam napisala knjigu o tome kako naše shvatanje ženske seksualnosti evoluira. Seksualnost je, sama po sebi definisana u vreme kada su muškarci vladali naukom. Muški naučnici su pokušali da vide žensko telo kroz njihov iskrivljen pogled. Mogli su jednostavno da pitaju žene o njihovom iskustvu. Umesto toga, oni su ispitivali žensko telo kao da je to neka strana teritorija. Čak i danas raspravljamo o postojanju ženske ejakulacije i G-tačke kao da govorimo o vanzemaljcima ili NLO-ima. „Da li stvarno postoje?”
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
All this goes double for LGBTQI women's sexuality, which has been hated and erased in specific ways.
Sve ovo se duplira kada je reč o LGBT zajednici i ženskoj seksualnosti, koja je omražena i izbrisana na određeni način.
Ignorance about the female body goes back centuries. It goes back to the beginning of modern medicine. Cast your mind back to the 16th century, a time of scientific revolution in Europe. Men of ideas were challenging old dogmas. They were building telescopes to gaze up at the stars. We were making progress ... sometimes. You see, the fathers of anatomy -- and I say "fathers" because, let's face it, they were all dudes -- were poking about between women's legs and trying to classify what they saw. They weren't quite sure what to do with the clitoris. It didn't appear to have anything to do with making babies. The leading anatomist at the time declared that it was probably some kind of abnormal growth --
Nepoznavanje ženskog tela se proteže vekovima. Sve od početaka moderne medicine. Prebacite svoj um u 16. vek, vreme naučne revolucije u Evropi. Ljudi sa idejama su rušili stare dogme. Pravili su teleskope kako bi gledali ka zvezdama. Napredovali smo... ponekad. Vidite, očevi anatomije... a kažem „očevi” zato što, budimo iskreni, sve su bili tipovi - su prčkali između ženskih nogu pokušavajući da klasifikuju ono što vide. Nisu bili baš sigurni šta da rade sa klitorisom. Izgleda da nije imao nikakve veze sa pravljenjem beba. Vodeći anatom toga vremena, izjavio je da je to verovatno neka vrsta anomalije u vidu izrasline -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
and that any woman who had one was probably a hermaphrodite. It got so bad that parents would sometimes have their daughter's clitoris cut off if it was deemed too large. That's right. Something we think of today as female genital mutilation was practiced in the West as late as the 20th century. You have to wonder: if they were that confused about women's bodies, why didn't they just ask women for a little help?
i da je svaka žena, koja je ima verovatno hermafrodit. To je otišlo toliko daleko da su roditelji ponekad odsecali klitoris svojim ćerkama ako bi procenili da je prevelik. Tako je. Nešto što mi danas smatramo sakaćenjem ženskih genitalija, je nešto što je praktikovano na Zapadu sve do 20. veka, Morate se zapitati: ako su baš toliko bili zbunjeni ženskim telom, zašto jednostavno nisu pitali žene za malo pomoći?
But you must be thinking, "All that was history. It's a different world now. Women have everything. They have the birth control pill, they have sexting and Tinder and vajazzling."
Verovatno mislite: „To je sve prošlost. Danas je drugačije. Žene imaju sve. Imaju kontraceptivnu pilulu, imaju seksting, Tinder i kristale za intimne delove tela”.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Things must be better now. But medical ignorance of the female body continues. How many of you recognize this? It's the full structure of the clitoris. We think of the clitoris as this little pea-sized nub, but actually it extends deep into the body. Most of it lies under the skin. It contains almost as much erectile tissue as the penis. It's beautiful, isn't it? It looks a little like a swan.
Mora da je situacija sada bolja. Uprkos tome, medicinsko nepoznavanje ženskog tela se nastavlja. Koliko vas prepoznaje šta je ovo? Ovo je celovita struktura klitorisa. Mi mislimo da je klitoris kao zrno graška, a u stvarnosti on ima produžetak koji je duboko u telu. Veći njegov deo nalazi se pod kožom. Sadrži skoro jednaku količinu erekcijskog tkiva kao i penis. Divan je, zar ne? Liči pomalo na labuda.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
This sculpture is by an artist named Sophia Wallace as part of her "Cliteracy" project.
Ovo je skulptura umetnice Sofije Voles i deo je njenog projekta „Kliteratura”.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
She believes we need more "cliteracy," and it's true, considering that this structure was only fully 3-D mapped by researchers in 2009. That was after we finished mapping the entire human genome.
Ona smatra da nam treba više „kliterature”, i to je istina, s obzirom da su ova struktura istraživači mapirali u 3-D tek 2009. godine. To se desilo nakon što smo završili mapiranje celokupnog ljudskog genoma.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
This ignorance has real-life consequences. In a medical journal in 2005, Dr. Helen O'Connell, a urologist, warned her colleagues that this structure was still nowhere to be found in basic medical journals -- textbooks like "Gray's Anatomy." This could have serious consequences for surgery.
Ovo neznanje ima stvarne životne posledice. U medicinskom dnevniku iz 2005. godine, Dr Helen O'Konol, urolog, je upozorila svoje kolege da ova struktura ne može da se nađe nigde u osnovnim medicinskim časopisisma - priručnicima kao što je „Grejova Anatomija”. Ovo bi moglo da ima ozbiljne posledice za hirurgiju.
Take this in. Gentlemen: imagine if you were at risk of losing your penis because doctors weren't totally sure where it was or what it looked like. Unsurprisingly, many women aren't too clear on their own genital anatomy either. You can't really blame them. The clitoris is often missing from many sex-ed diagrams, too. Women can sense that their culture views their bodies with confusion at best, outright disdain and disgust at worst. Many women still view their own genitals as dirty or inadequate. They're increasingly comparing their vulvas with the neat and tiny ones they see in pornography. It's one reason why labiaplasty is becoming a skyrocketing business among women and teen girls.
Zapamtite ovo. Gospodo, zamislite da ste u opasnosti da izgubite svoj penis zato što doktori nisu baš sigurni gde se on nalazi ili kako izgleda. Potpuno očekivano, mnoge žene takođe nisu baš upoznate sa anatomijom svojih genitalija. Ne možete ih baš ni kriviti. Klitoris često nedostaje i na mnogim dijagramima iz seksualnog obrazovanja. Žene osećaju da njihova kultura, najblaže rečeno gleda zbunjeno na njihova tela, a u najgorem slučaj, sa prezirom i gađenjem. Mnoge žene i danas smatraju svoje genitalije prljavim ili neadekvatnim. Sve češće porede svoju stidnicu sa onim malim koje vide u pornografiji. To je jedan od razloga zbog koga je labioplastika postala toliko popularna kod žena i tinejdžerki.
Some people feel that all this is a trivial issue. I was writing my book when I was at a dinner party and someone said, "Isn't sexuality a first-world problem? Aren't women dealing with more important issues all over the world?" Of course they are. But I think the impulse to trivialize sex is part of our problem. We live in a culture that seems obsessed with sex. We use it to sell everything. We tell women that looking sexy is one of the most important things you can do. But what we really do is we belittle sex. We reduce it to a sad shadow of what it truly is. Sex is more than just an act.
Neki ljudi misle da je ovo nebitan problem. Dok sam pisala knjigu, bila sam na nekoj zabavi i neko je rekao: „Nije li seksualnost nebitan problem? Zar se žene širom sveta ne bave mnogo važnijim problemima?” Naravno da se bave. Ali ja smatram da je nagon da se seks učini nebitnim, takođe deo problema. Živimo u kulturi koja je očigledno opsednuta seksom. Koristimo ga da bi prodali sve i svašta. Govorimo ženama da je najvažnije izgledati seksi. Ali ono što u stvari radimo je omalovažavanje seksa. Mi ga svodimo na bledu senku onoga što seks u stvari jeste. Seks je više od čina.
I spoke with Dr. Lori Brotto, a psychologist who treats sexual issues in women, including survivors of trauma. She says the hundreds of women she sees all tend to repeat the same thing. They say, "I don't feel whole." They feel they've lost a connection with their partners and themselves.
Pričala sam sa dr Lori Broto, psihologom koja leči seksualne poremećaje kod žena. uključujući i one koje su preživele neku traumu. Ona tvrdi da stotine žena koje viđa ponavljaju jednu te istu stvar. One kažu: „Ne osećam se kompletna.” Osećaju kao da su izgubile vezu sa svojim partnerom i samom sobom.
So what is sex? We've traditionally defined the act of sex as a linear, goal-oriented process. It's something that starts with lust, continues to heavy petting and finishes with a happy ending. Except many women don't experience it this way. It's less linear for them and more circular. This is a new model of women's arousal and desire developed by Dr. Rosemary Basson. It says many things, including that women can begin an encounter for many different reasons that aren't desire, like curiosity. They can finish with a climax or multiple climaxes, or satisfaction without a climax at all. All options are normal.
Šta je onda seks? Definisali smo čin seksa kao linearan proces, orjentisan postizanju cilja. To je nešto što počinje sa požudom, nastavlja se petingom i ima srećan završetak. Samo što ga mnoge žene ne doživljavaju tako. Za njih je to više kružni nego linearan proces. Ovo je novi model uzbuđenja i želja kod žena, koji je razvila dr Rozmari Bason. On govori o mnogo čemu, uključujući i činjenicu da žene mogu započeti čin iz brojnih razloga a ne samo želje, npr radoznalost. Mogu imati jedan ili više vrhunaca, ili zadovoljstvo bez vrhunca. Sve opcije su normalne.
Some people are starting to champion a richer definition of sexuality. Whether you identify as male, female or neither gender, sex is about our relationship to the senses. It's about slowing down, listening to the body, coming into the present moment. It's about our whole health and well-being. In other words, sex at its true breadth isn't profane, it's sacred.
Neki ljudi postaju pobornici šire definicije seksualnosti. Bilo da se deklarišete kao muškarac, žena ili nijedno od polova, seks je u stvari naš odnos prema čulima. Reč je o usporavnju, slušanju tela, fokusiranju na sadašnji momenat. Reč je o našem celokupnom zdravlju i dobrobiti. Drugim rečima, seks u svojoj osnovi nije skrnava, već sveta stvar.
That's one reason why women are redefining their sexuality today. They're asking: What is sex for me? So they're experimenting with practices that are less about the happy ending -- more about feeling whole. So they're trying out spiritual sex classes, masturbation workshops -- even shooting their own porn that celebrates the diversity of real bodies.
To je jedan od razloga zbog koga žene danas redefinišu svoju seksualnost. Pitaju se: Šta za mene predstavlja seks? Eksperimentišu sa praksama koje su manje okrenute srećnom završetku - a više osećaju celovitosti. Isprobavaju duhovne seksualne vežbe - radionice masturbacije - čak snimaju i svoje porno filmove u čast različitosti stvarnih tela.
For anyone who still feels this is a trivial issue, consider this: understanding your body is crucial to the huge issue of sex education and consent. By deeply, intimately knowing what kind of touch feels right, what pressure, what speed, what context, you can better know what kind of touch feels wrong and have the confidence to say so.
Za sve one koji još uvek smatraju ovo nevažnim problemom, razmislite: razumevanje svog tela je od presudnog značaja za ogroman problem seksualnog obrazovanja i pristanka. Znajući u dubini duše kakav dodir vam prija, koji pritisak, koja brzina, kontekst, bolje možete prepoznati koji dodir je pogrešan i imati samopouzdanje da to izgovorite.
This isn't ultimately about women having more or better sex. It's not about making sure women have as many orgasms as men. It's about accepting yourself and your own unique experience. It's about you being the expert on your body. It's about defining pleasure and satisfaction on your terms. And if that means you're happiest having no sex at all, that's perfect, too.
Ovde nije reč o tome da žene imaju više seksa ili bolji seks. Niti o tome da se osigura da žene imaju isti broj orgazama kao muškarci. Reč je o prihvatanju sebe i svog jedinstvenog iskustva. O tome da vi postanete ekspert svog tela. O definisanju zadovoljstva pod vašim uslovima. Ako to znači da ste najsretniji bez seksa, i to je u redu.
If we define sex as part of our whole health and well-being, then empowering women and girls to fully own it is a crucial next step toward equality. And I think it would be a better world not just for women but for everyone.
Ako definišemo seks kao deo opšteg zdravlja i dobrobiti, onda je podrška ženama i devojkama da ga u potpunosti poseduju najznačajniji korak ka jednakosti. Ja smatram da bi svet bio bolji, ne samo za žene, nego za sve.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)