I haven't told many people this, but in my head, I've got thousands of secret worlds all going on all at the same time. I am also autistic.
Ovo sam rekla retko kome, ali u mojoj glavi postoji na hiljade tajnih svetova i svi su aktivni istovremeno. Takođe sam autistična.
People tend to diagnose autism with really specific check-box descriptions, but in reality, it's a whole variation as to what we're like. For instance, my little brother, he's very severely autistic. He's nonverbal. He can't talk at all. But I love to talk. People often associate autism with liking maths and science and nothing else, but I know so many autistic people who love being creative. But that is a stereotype, and the stereotypes of things are often, if not always, wrong. For instance, a lot of people think autism and think "Rain Man" immediately. That's the common belief, that every single autistic person is Dustin Hoffman, and that's not true.
Ljudi često dijagnostikuju autizam tako što štrikliraju krajnje specifične simptome, ali u stvari, postoji čitav niz varijacija naše osobenosti. Na primer, moj mlađi brat, on je krajnje autističan. Nema sposobnost govora. Ne može uopšte da govori. Ali ja volim da govorim. Ljudi često povezuju autizam sa sklonošću ka matematici, nauci i ničemu drugom, no ja poznajem mnogo autističnih ljudi koji vole da budu kreativni. Ali to je stereotip, a stereotipi su često, ako ne i uvek, pogrešni. Na primer, mnogi ljudi, kad pomisle na autizam, odmah se sete "Kišnog čoveka". To je uobičajeno verovanje da je baš svaka autistična osoba Dastin Hofman, a to nije istina.
But that's not just with autistic people, either. I've seen it with LGBTQ people, with women, with POC people. People are so afraid of variety that they try to fit everything into a tiny little box with really specific labels. This is something that actually happened to me in real life: I googled "autistic people are ..." and it comes up with suggestions as to what you're going to type. I googled "autistic people are ..." and the top result was "demons." That is the first thing that people think when they think autism. They know. (Laughter)
Ali nije samo tako sa autističnim ljudima. Tako je i sa LGBTQ populacijom, sa ženama, sa obojenim ljudima. Ljude je toliko strah različitosti da sve pokušavaju da smeste u malene kalupe sa krajnje specifičnim etiketama. Ovo mi se zaista desilo u stvarnosti: na Guglu sam ukucala "autistični ljudi su..." i izađu sugestije šta ćete da upišete. Upisala sam "autistični ljudi su..." i prva preporuka je bila "demoni". Ovo je prvo što ljudi pomisle kad pomisle na autizam. Oni znaju. (Smeh)
One of the things I can do because I'm autistic — it's an ability rather than a disability — is I've got a very, very vivid imagination. Let me explain it to you a bit. It's like I'm walking in two worlds most of the time. There's the real world, the world that we all share, and there's the world in my mind, and the world in my mind is often so much more real than the real world. Like, it's very easy for me to let my mind loose because I don't try and fit myself into a tiny little box. That's one of the best things about being autistic. You don't have the urge to do that. You find what you want to do, you find a way to do it, and you get on with it. If I was trying to fit myself into a box, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have achieved half the things that I have now. There are problems, though. There are problems with being autistic, and there are problems with having too much imagination. School can be a problem in general, but having also to explain to a teacher on a daily basis that their lesson is inexplicably dull and you are secretly taking refuge in a world inside your head in which you are not in that lesson, that adds to your list of problems. (Laughter) Also, when my imagination takes hold, my body takes on a life of its own. When something very exciting happens in my inner world, I've just got to run. I've got to rock backwards and forwards, or sometimes scream. This gives me so much energy, and I've got to have an outlet for all that energy. But I've done that ever since I was a child, ever since I was a tiny little girl. And my parents thought it was cute, so they didn't bring it up, but when I got into school, they didn't really agree that it was cute. It can be that people don't want to be friends with the girl that starts screaming in an algebra lesson. And this doesn't normally happen in this day and age, but it can be that people don't want to be friends with the autistic girl. It can be that people don't want to associate with anyone who won't or can't fit themselves into a box that's labeled normal. But that's fine with me, because it sorts the wheat from the chaff, and I can find which people are genuine and true and I can pick these people as my friends.
Jedna od stvari koje mogu da radim jer sam autistična - to je sposobnost, više nego invaliditet - a to je da imam veoma, veoma živu maštu. Dozvolite da vam to malo pojasnim. To je kao da se krećem kroz dva sveta istovremeno. Postoji stvarni svet, svet zajednički za sve nas i postoji svet u mojoj glavi, a svet u mojoj glavi je često daleko stvarniji od stvarnog sveta. Znate, meni je izuzetno lako da oslobodim svoj um jer ja ne pokušavam da se uklopim u maleni kalup. To je nešto najbolje kod autizma. Nemate potrebu za tim. Pronađete šta želite da radite, pronađete način da to radite i posvetite se tome. Da sam pokušavala da se uklopim, ne bih bila ovde, ne bih postigla ni polovinu stvari koje sam postigla. Ipak, postoje problemi. Kada ste autistični, imate probleme, a problemi nastaju zbog prevelike maštovitosti. Škola može uopšteno da bude problem, ali kada morate da objašnjavate profesorima svakodnevno da je njihovo predavanje neopisivo dosadno i da potajno bežite u svet unutar svog uma, koji nema veze sa predavanjem, to doprinese listi problema. (Smeh) Takođe, kada mašta zaživi, izgubim kontrolu nad svojim telom. Kada se nešto veoma uzbudljivo dešava u mom unutrašnjem svetu, ja prosto moram da jurim. Moram da se klatim napred i nazad, a ponekad i vrištim. To mi da toliko energije, da ja moram nekako da otpustim svu tu energiju. Ali ja to radim još od detinjstva, još dok sam bila malena devojčica. Mojim roditeljima je to bilo simpatično, pa mi nisu zamerali, ali kad sam krenula u školu, njima to nije bilo simpatično. Dešava se da ljudi ne žele da budu prijatelji sa devojkom koja vrišti na času matematike. Ovo se obično ne dešava u današnje vreme, ali desi se da ljudi ne žele da se druže s autističnom devojkom. Možda ljudi ne žele da budu u vezi ni sa kim ko ne želi ili ne može da se uklopi u kalup s etiketom "normalno". Ali nemam ništa protiv toga, tako se deli žito od kukolja, i ja mogu da otkrijem koji ljudi su iskreni i odani i mogu da ih odaberem za prijatelje.
But if you think about it, what is normal? What does it mean? Imagine if that was the best compliment you ever received. "Wow, you are really normal." (Laughter) But compliments are, "you are extraordinary" or "you step outside the box." It's "you're amazing." So if people want to be these things, why are so many people striving to be normal? Why are people pouring their brilliant individual light into a mold? People are so afraid of variety that they try and force everyone, even people who don't want to or can't, to become normal. There are camps for LGBTQ people or autistic people to try and make them this "normal," and that's terrifying that people would do that in this day and age.
Ali, kad malo razmislite, šta je to normalno? Šta to znači? Zamislite da je to najbolji kompliment koji ste ikad dobili. "Vau, kako si ti normalna." (Smeh) Ali komplimenti glase: "ti si izvanredna" ili "otvorena si za nove poglede". "Neverovatna si." Dakle, ako ljudi žele da budu sve to, zašto toliko njih teži da bude normalno? Zašto ljudi prosipaju svoju briljantnu individualnost u kalup? Ljude je toliko strah od različitosti da pokušavaju da primoraju svakog, čak i ljude koji ne žele ili ne mogu, da budu normalni. Postoje kampovi za LGBTQ ljude ili autistične ljude, gde ih pokušavaju učiniti "normalnim", i to je strašno, da to ljudi rade u današnje vreme.
All in all, I wouldn't trade my autism and my imagination for the world. Because I am autistic, I've presented documentaries to the BBC, I'm in the midst of writing a book, I'm doing this — this is fantastic — and one of the best things that I've achieved, that I consider to have achieved, is I've found ways of communicating with my little brother and sister, who as I've said are nonverbal. They can't speak. And people would often write off someone who's nonverbal, but that's silly, because my little brother and sister are the best siblings that you could ever hope for. They're just the best, and I love them so much and I care about them more than anything else. I'm going to leave you with one question: If we can't get inside the person's minds, no matter if they're autistic or not, instead of punishing anything that strays from normal, why not celebrate uniqueness and cheer every time someone unleashes their imagination?
Sve u svemu, ne bih menjala svoj autizam i svoju maštu ni za šta na svetu. Zato što sam autistična, pojavljivala sam se u dokumentarcima na Bi-Bi-Si-ju, trenutno pišem knjigu, govorim ovde - to je sjajno - i jedna od najboljih stvari koje sam postigla, smatram da sam to postigla, je da sam pronašla način da komuniciram s mlađim bratom i sestrom, za koje sam već rekla da nemaju sposobnost govora. Ne govore. Ljudi bi često otpisali nekoga ko ne može da govori, ali to je glupo, jer su moj brat i sestra najbolji brat i sestra koje biste poželeli. Oni su prosto najbolji i obožavam ih, stalo mi je do njih više od bilo čega na svetu. Ostaviću vas sa jednim pitanjem: ako ne možemo da uđemo u tuđe umove, bez obzira da li su autistični ili ne, umesto da kažnjavamo sve što nije normalno, zašto ne bismo slavili jedinstvenost i zašto ne bismo aplaudirali svaki put kada neko pusti mašti na volju?
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)