I haven't told many people this, but in my head, I've got thousands of secret worlds all going on all at the same time. I am also autistic.
Ovo nisam rekla puno ljudi, ali u mojoj glavi na tisuće tajnih svjetova se odvija u isto vrijeme. Također sam autistična.
People tend to diagnose autism with really specific check-box descriptions, but in reality, it's a whole variation as to what we're like. For instance, my little brother, he's very severely autistic. He's nonverbal. He can't talk at all. But I love to talk. People often associate autism with liking maths and science and nothing else, but I know so many autistic people who love being creative. But that is a stereotype, and the stereotypes of things are often, if not always, wrong. For instance, a lot of people think autism and think "Rain Man" immediately. That's the common belief, that every single autistic person is Dustin Hoffman, and that's not true.
Ljudi često dijagnosticiraju autizam s točno određenim opisima, ali zapravo, postoji cijela varijacija toga kakvi jesmo. Na primjer, moj mlađi brat, on je jako autističan. Ne govori. Uopće ne može govoriti. Ali ja obožavam pričati. Ljudi često povezuju autizam sa sklonošću prema matematici i znanosti, i ničemu drugom, ali poznajem mnogo autističnih ljudi koji vole biti kreativni. Ali to je stereotip, i stereotipi o stvarima su često, ako ne i uvijek, pogrešni. Na primjer, mnogo ljudi pomisli autizam i odmah pomisli "Kišni čovjek". To je uobičajeno vjerovanje, da je svaka autistična osoba Dustin Hoffman, ali to nije istina.
But that's not just with autistic people, either. I've seen it with LGBTQ people, with women, with POC people. People are so afraid of variety that they try to fit everything into a tiny little box with really specific labels. This is something that actually happened to me in real life: I googled "autistic people are ..." and it comes up with suggestions as to what you're going to type. I googled "autistic people are ..." and the top result was "demons." That is the first thing that people think when they think autism. They know. (Laughter)
I to nije samo za autistične ljude. Vidjela sam to kod LGBTQ ljudi, kod žena, ljudi druge rase. Ljudi se tako boje različitosti da sve pokušavaju smjestiti u sitne male kategorije s točno određenim etiketama. Ovo je nešto što mi se stvarno dogodilo u pravom životu. Googlala sam "autistični ljudi su..." i izađu prijedlozi za to što ćete utipkati. Googlala sam " autistični ljudi su..." i prvi rezultat je bio "demoni." To je prva stvar koju ljudi pomisle kad pomisle autizam. Oni znaju. (Smijeh)
One of the things I can do because I'm autistic — it's an ability rather than a disability — is I've got a very, very vivid imagination. Let me explain it to you a bit. It's like I'm walking in two worlds most of the time. There's the real world, the world that we all share, and there's the world in my mind, and the world in my mind is often so much more real than the real world. Like, it's very easy for me to let my mind loose because I don't try and fit myself into a tiny little box. That's one of the best things about being autistic. You don't have the urge to do that. You find what you want to do, you find a way to do it, and you get on with it. If I was trying to fit myself into a box, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have achieved half the things that I have now. There are problems, though. There are problems with being autistic, and there are problems with having too much imagination. School can be a problem in general, but having also to explain to a teacher on a daily basis that their lesson is inexplicably dull and you are secretly taking refuge in a world inside your head in which you are not in that lesson, that adds to your list of problems. (Laughter) Also, when my imagination takes hold, my body takes on a life of its own. When something very exciting happens in my inner world, I've just got to run. I've got to rock backwards and forwards, or sometimes scream. This gives me so much energy, and I've got to have an outlet for all that energy. But I've done that ever since I was a child, ever since I was a tiny little girl. And my parents thought it was cute, so they didn't bring it up, but when I got into school, they didn't really agree that it was cute. It can be that people don't want to be friends with the girl that starts screaming in an algebra lesson. And this doesn't normally happen in this day and age, but it can be that people don't want to be friends with the autistic girl. It can be that people don't want to associate with anyone who won't or can't fit themselves into a box that's labeled normal. But that's fine with me, because it sorts the wheat from the chaff, and I can find which people are genuine and true and I can pick these people as my friends.
Jedna od stvari koje mogu zato što sam autistična — sposobnost radije nego nedostatak — imam jako, jako živu maštu. Pustite me da malo objasnim. Kao da većinu vremena hodam kroz dva svijeta. Postoji stvaran svijet, svijet kojeg svi dijelimo, i postoji svijet u mom umu, i svijet u mom umu je često puno, puno stvarniji nego stvarni svijet. Skroz mi je lako pustiti svoj um slobodno zato što se ne pokušavam uklopiti u malu kategoriju. To je jedna od najboljih stvari kod autističnosti. Nemate poriv to činiti. Pronađete što želite raditi, nađete kako to raditi, i samo to radite. Da sam se pokušala uklopiti u malu kategoriju, ne bih bila ovdje, i ne bih postigla pola toga što imam sada. Postoje i problemi, zapravo. Postoje problemi s autističnosti, i postoje problemi kad ste previše maštoviti. Škola može općenito biti problem, isto kao i objasniti učitelju svaki dan da je njihova lekcija neobjašnjivo dosadna i da potajice tražite zaklon u svijetu u svojoj glavi gdje niste na tom predavanju, to puno pridonosi listi problema. (Smijeh) Isto, kad moja mašta preuzme vlast, moje tijelo postane svoj vladar. Kad se nešto jako uzbudljivo dogodi u mom unutarnjem svijetu, jednostavno moram trčati. Moram se njihati naprijed-natrag, ili ponekad vrištati. Daje mi toliko puno energije i moram svu tu energiju nekako otpustiti. Ali to sam radila otkad sam bila malena, otkad sam bila mala djevojčica. Moji roditelji su mislili da je to slatko, pa to nisu spominjali. ali kad sam pošla u školu, tamo se nisu baš slagali da je to slatko. Može biti da ljudi ne žele biti prijatelji s djevojkom koja počne vrištati na satu matematike. I ovo se inače ne događa u današnje vrijeme, ali može biti da ljudi ne žele biti prijatelji s autističnom curom. Može biti da se ljudi ne žele povezivati s bilo kim tko ne želi ili ne može sebe smjestiti u kategoriju "normalnog." Ali meni to ne smeta, to razdvaja žito od kukolja, i mogu odmah saznati koji su ljudi iskreni i otvoreni i te ljude odabirem za svoje prijatelje.
But if you think about it, what is normal? What does it mean? Imagine if that was the best compliment you ever received. "Wow, you are really normal." (Laughter) But compliments are, "you are extraordinary" or "you step outside the box." It's "you're amazing." So if people want to be these things, why are so many people striving to be normal? Why are people pouring their brilliant individual light into a mold? People are so afraid of variety that they try and force everyone, even people who don't want to or can't, to become normal. There are camps for LGBTQ people or autistic people to try and make them this "normal," and that's terrifying that people would do that in this day and age.
Ali ako razmislite na tren, što je uopće normalno? Što to znači? Zamislite kad bi to bio najbolji kompliment koji ikad dobijete. "Vau, ti si baš normalna." (Smijeh) Ali komplimenti su: "ti si izvanredna," ili "ti ne spadaš pod kategoriju." "Ti si fantastična." Tako da ako ljudi žele biti takvi, zašto toliko puno ljudi teži biti normalno? Zašto ljudi lijevaju svoje briljantno, individualno svjetlo u kalup? Ljudi se tako boje različitosti da pokušavaju prisiliti sve, čak i ljude koji ne žele ili ne mogu, da budu normalni. Postoje kampovi za LGBTQ ljude ili autistične ljude kako bi pokušali "biti normalni," i stvarno je strašno da ljudi to pokušavaju u današnje doba.
All in all, I wouldn't trade my autism and my imagination for the world. Because I am autistic, I've presented documentaries to the BBC, I'm in the midst of writing a book, I'm doing this — this is fantastic — and one of the best things that I've achieved, that I consider to have achieved, is I've found ways of communicating with my little brother and sister, who as I've said are nonverbal. They can't speak. And people would often write off someone who's nonverbal, but that's silly, because my little brother and sister are the best siblings that you could ever hope for. They're just the best, and I love them so much and I care about them more than anything else. I'm going to leave you with one question: If we can't get inside the person's minds, no matter if they're autistic or not, instead of punishing anything that strays from normal, why not celebrate uniqueness and cheer every time someone unleashes their imagination?
Sve u svemu, ne bih mijenjala svoj autizam, ni svoju maštu za bilo što u svijetu. Zato što sam autistična prezentirala sam dokumentarce na BBC-u, upravo pišem knjigu, radim ovo — ovo je sjajno — i jedno od najvećih postignuća koje sam postigla, za koje smatram da sam postigla, našla sam način kako komunicirati sa svojim mlađim bratom i sestrom, koji su, kao što sam rekla, neverbalni. Ne mogu govoriti. I ljudi bi često otpisali nekoga tko je neverbalan, ali to je blesavo zato što moj mlađi brat i sestra su najbolji brat i sestra koje biste ikad mogli poželjeti. Jednostavno su najbolji, i toliko ih volim i stalo mi je do njih više nego do ičega drugog. Ostavit ću vas s jednim pitanjem: Ako ne možemo ući u um druge osobe, bez obzira jesu li autistični ili ne, umjesto da kažnjavamo svakog tko odluta od normalnog, zašto ne bismo slavili jedinstvenost i slavili svaki put kad netko oslobodi svoju maštovitost?
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)