I haven't told many people this, but in my head, I've got thousands of secret worlds all going on all at the same time. I am also autistic.
Ma pole sellest paljudele rääkinud, aga minu peas on tuhandeid samaaegselt eksisteerivaid maailmu. Peale selle on mul autism. Inimesed kipuvad arvama, et autismi võib iseloomustada
People tend to diagnose autism with really specific check-box descriptions, but in reality, it's a whole variation as to what we're like. For instance, my little brother, he's very severely autistic. He's nonverbal. He can't talk at all. But I love to talk. People often associate autism with liking maths and science and nothing else, but I know so many autistic people who love being creative. But that is a stereotype, and the stereotypes of things are often, if not always, wrong. For instance, a lot of people think autism and think "Rain Man" immediately. That's the common belief, that every single autistic person is Dustin Hoffman, and that's not true.
mustvalgete kirjeldustega, kuid tegelikult on autistid väga erinevad. Näiteks minu väikevennal on tõsine autismi vorm. Ta on mitteverbaalne. Ta ei oska üldse rääkida. Aga mulle näiteks meeldib tohutult rääkida. Inimesed seostavad autismi tavaliselt sellega, et autistidele ei meeldi peale matemaatika ja teaduse mitte midagi, aga ma tean mitmeid autistlikke inimesi, kes on väga loovad. Selline on aga inimeste stereotüüpne mõtlemine ja stereotüübid on tihti - kui mitte alati - valed. Kui inimesed kuulevad sõna "autism", seostab suur osa seda filmiga "Vihmamees". Laialt on levinud uskumus, et iga autistlik inimene on Dustin Hoffman. See pole tõsi.
But that's not just with autistic people, either. I've seen it with LGBTQ people, with women, with POC people. People are so afraid of variety that they try to fit everything into a tiny little box with really specific labels. This is something that actually happened to me in real life: I googled "autistic people are ..." and it comes up with suggestions as to what you're going to type. I googled "autistic people are ..." and the top result was "demons." That is the first thing that people think when they think autism. They know. (Laughter)
Aga olukord pole nii ainult autistidega. Sama lugu on lesbide, geide, bi- ja transseksuaalidega, naiste ja mittevalgetega. Inimesed kardavad erinevust nii palju, et üritavad sobitada kõike tibatillukestesse täpselt sildistatud kastidesse. Järgnev näide on tõsielust. Ma guugeldasin: "Autistlikud inimesed on ..." Kui Google'isse midagi kirjutada, püüab ta pakkuda, mida otsid, ning esimene asi, mida Google pakkus, oli: "Autistlikud inimesed on deemonid". Nii et see on esimene asi, mida inimesed mõtlevad, kui kuulevad sõna "autism". Issand, nad teavad! (Publik naerab)
One of the things I can do because I'm autistic — it's an ability rather than a disability — is I've got a very, very vivid imagination. Let me explain it to you a bit. It's like I'm walking in two worlds most of the time. There's the real world, the world that we all share, and there's the world in my mind, and the world in my mind is often so much more real than the real world. Like, it's very easy for me to let my mind loose because I don't try and fit myself into a tiny little box. That's one of the best things about being autistic. You don't have the urge to do that. You find what you want to do, you find a way to do it, and you get on with it. If I was trying to fit myself into a box, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have achieved half the things that I have now. There are problems, though. There are problems with being autistic, and there are problems with having too much imagination. School can be a problem in general, but having also to explain to a teacher on a daily basis that their lesson is inexplicably dull and you are secretly taking refuge in a world inside your head in which you are not in that lesson, that adds to your list of problems. (Laughter) Also, when my imagination takes hold, my body takes on a life of its own. When something very exciting happens in my inner world, I've just got to run. I've got to rock backwards and forwards, or sometimes scream. This gives me so much energy, and I've got to have an outlet for all that energy. But I've done that ever since I was a child, ever since I was a tiny little girl. And my parents thought it was cute, so they didn't bring it up, but when I got into school, they didn't really agree that it was cute. It can be that people don't want to be friends with the girl that starts screaming in an algebra lesson. And this doesn't normally happen in this day and age, but it can be that people don't want to be friends with the autistic girl. It can be that people don't want to associate with anyone who won't or can't fit themselves into a box that's labeled normal. But that's fine with me, because it sorts the wheat from the chaff, and I can find which people are genuine and true and I can pick these people as my friends.
Üks asi, mida ma suudan, kuna mul on autism - see on pigem võime kui puue - on see, et mul on väga väga elav kujutlusvõime. Las ma seletan. Tänu oma kujutlusvõimele elan ma nagu kahes maailmas. Lisaks meie ühisele, reaalsele maailmale, on minu peas ka teine maailm, mis on tihti palju reaalsem kui tõeline maailm. Mul on väga kerge oma kujutlusvõimel lennata lasta, kuna ma ei ürita ennast tibatillukesse kasti sobitada. See on üks parimaid asju autistlikkuse juures. Autistid ei ürita olla nagu teised. Kui nad teavad, mida teha tahavad, siis nad leiavad selle tegemiseks viisi ja hakkavad pihta. Kui ma üritaks end kasti sobitada, siis poleks ma praegu siin, ja ma poleks saavutanud pooli asju, mida nüüdseks olen. Sellega kaasneb ka probleem. Autistlikkusega kaasneb probleeme, nagu ka liiga elava kujutlusvõimega. Kool võib olla probleem üldiselt, aga probleemiks võib olla see, et pead õpetajale iga päev seletama, et tund, mida ta peab, on kirjeldamatult igav, ning et sa salaja põgened oma peas asuvasse maailma, kus sa ei ole selles tunnis, mis on veel üks probleem sinu probleemide nimekirjas. (Publik naerab) Kui mu kujutlusvõime lendu läheb, hakkab mu keha oma elu elama. Kui mu sisemises maailmas midagi põnevat juhtub, siis ma lihtsalt pean ringi jooksma. Ma pean end edasi-tagasi õõtsutama või mõnikord kisendama. Mu kujutlusvõime annab mulle nii palju energiat, et ma lihtsalt pean selle kuhugi maandama. Ma olen nii käitunud lapsest saadik, alates ajast, kui olin väike tüdruk. Mu vanemad pidasid seda armsaks ega teinud sellest juttu, aga kui ma kooli läksin, polnud nad enam nõus, et see on armas. Võib-olla teised ei taha olla sellise inimese sõbrad, kes keset algebra tundi kisendama hakkab. Tavaliselt seda ju praegusel ajal ja sellises eas ei juhtu, kuid võib-olla teised ei taha olla autistliku tüdruku sõbrad. Võib olla inimesed ei taha, et neid seostatakse kellegagi, kes ei proovi või ei suuda end paigutada kasti, millel on kiri "normaalne". Aga mulle see sobib, sest see eraldab terad aganatest, ning ma näen, kes on siirad ja ausad, ja ma saan sellised inimesed enda sõpradeks valida.
But if you think about it, what is normal? What does it mean? Imagine if that was the best compliment you ever received. "Wow, you are really normal." (Laughter) But compliments are, "you are extraordinary" or "you step outside the box." It's "you're amazing." So if people want to be these things, why are so many people striving to be normal? Why are people pouring their brilliant individual light into a mold? People are so afraid of variety that they try and force everyone, even people who don't want to or can't, to become normal. There are camps for LGBTQ people or autistic people to try and make them this "normal," and that's terrifying that people would do that in this day and age.
Aga kui natuke mõelda, siis mis üldse on normaalne? Mida see tähendab? Kujutage ette, kui see oleks parim kompliment, mida teile eales tehtud: "Vau, sa oled nii normaalne!" (Publik naerab) Aga komplimendid on tavaliselt sellised: "Sa oled erakordne!" või: "Sa oled teistsugune!" "Sa oled hämmastav!" Kui inimesed tahavad sellised olla, miks siis nii paljud inimesed üritavad olla normaalsed? Miks inimesed oma suurepärase ainulaadse valguse vormi suruvad? Inimesed kardavad erinevust nii palju, et nad proovivad neid, kes ei taha või ei saa "normaalsed" olla, normaalseteks muuta. Lesbide, geide, bi- ja transseksuaalide ning autistide jaoks on laagrid, kus üritatakse neist "normaalsed" teha. Õudne mõelda, et inimesed seda praegusel ajal teha üritavad.
All in all, I wouldn't trade my autism and my imagination for the world. Because I am autistic, I've presented documentaries to the BBC, I'm in the midst of writing a book, I'm doing this — this is fantastic — and one of the best things that I've achieved, that I consider to have achieved, is I've found ways of communicating with my little brother and sister, who as I've said are nonverbal. They can't speak. And people would often write off someone who's nonverbal, but that's silly, because my little brother and sister are the best siblings that you could ever hope for. They're just the best, and I love them so much and I care about them more than anything else. I'm going to leave you with one question: If we can't get inside the person's minds, no matter if they're autistic or not, instead of punishing anything that strays from normal, why not celebrate uniqueness and cheer every time someone unleashes their imagination?
Ma ei vahetaks ma oma autistlikkust ja kujutlusvõimet mitte millegi vastu. Autismi tõttu olen ma BBC'le dokumentaale teinud ning hetkel kirjutan ma raamatut, ma teen kõiki neid uskumatuid asju, ning üks parimaid asju, mida ma saavutanud olen, on see, et ma olen leidnud viise, kuidas oma väikevenna ja -õega suhelda, kes on, nagu ma ütlesin, mitteverbaalsed ehk kes ei oska rääkida. Inimesed tavaliselt väldiksid neid, kes ei suuda rääkida, aga see oleks lihtsalt rumal, sest näiteks minu vennast ja õest paremat venda ja õde soovida ei saakski. Nad on parimad ja ma armastan neid üle kõige, ja ma hoolin neist rohkem kui millestki muust. Ma jätan teile ühe küsimuse, mille üle mõtiskleda: "Kuna me ei suuda lugeda inimeste mõtteid, olenemata sellest, kas nad on autistlikud või mitte, siis miks mitte selle asemel, et karistada kõige eest, mis erineb normaalsest, ülistada hoopis unikaalsust, ja hõisata iga kord, kui keegi oma kujutlusvõimel lennata laseb?"
Thank you.
Aitäh.
(Applause)
(Aplaus)