What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous.
Šta nas održava zdravim i srećnim kako prolazimo kroz život? Ukoliko biste ulagali danas u najbolju verziju sebe u budućnosti, gde biste uložili svoje vreme i energiju? Nedavno je na milenijumskoj generaciji urađena anketa, pitali su ih koji su im najvažniji životni ciljevi i preko 80 procenata je reklo da im je najvažniji cilj da se obogate. A ostalih 50 procenata iz iste generacije mladih je reklo da im je drugi važan životni cilj da budu poznati.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get. Most of what we know about human life we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and sometimes memory is downright creative.
I stalno nam govore da moramo da zapnemo na poslu, da se više trudimo i da više postižemo. Stekli smo utisak da je to ono što bismo trebali da sledimo kako bismo imali dobar život. Slike celokupnih života, izbora koje ljudi prave i kako su im se ti izbori odvijali, te slike je gotovo nemoguće napraviti. Većina onoga što znamo o ljudskom životu znamo iz odgovora na pitanja o sećanjima iz prošlosti i, koliko nam je poznato, osvrtanje u prošlost uopšte nije pouzdano. Zaboravljamo ogromnu većinu onoga što nam se desilo u životu i ponekad je sećanje istinski kreativno.
But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?
Međutim, šta ako bismo mogli da posmatramo celokupne živote kako se vremenom razvijaju? Šta kad bismo mogli da izučavamo ljude od tinejdžerskog uzrasta sve do starosti, kako bismo otkrili šta ljude održava srećnim i zdravim?
We did that. The Harvard Study of Adult Development may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn out.
Učinili smo to. Harvardovo istraživanje razvoja odraslih je možda najduže istraživanje života odraslih koje je ikad sprovedeno. Tokom 75 godina smo pratili živote 724 muškarca, godinu za godinom, pitali smo ih o poslu, njihovim porodičnim životima, zdravlju i, naravno, pitali smo sve vreme ne znajući kako će njihove životne priče ispasti.
Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade because too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted, or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and the persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90s. And we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of these men. And I'm the fourth director of the study.
Ovakva istraživanja su izuzetno retka. Skoro svi slični projekti se raspadnu u roku od jedne decenije jer prevelik broj ljudi napusti istraživanje ili finansiranje istraživanja prestane ili istraživačima nešto drugo odvuče pažnju ili umru i niko ne nastavi započeti posao. Međutim, kombinacijom sreće i upornosti nekoliko generacija istraživača, ovo istraživanje je preživelo. Oko 60, od naša prvobitna 724 muškaraca, su i dalje živi, i dalje učestvuju u istraživanju, većina je u devedesetim godinama. I sada počinjemo da izučavamo preko 2000 dece ovih muškaraca. A ja sam četvrti direktor istraživanja.
Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. They all finished college during World War II, and then most went off to serve in the war. And the second group that we've followed was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods, boys who were chosen for the study specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in the Boston of the 1930s. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.
Od 1938, pratili smo živote dve grupe muškaraca. Prva grupa je započela istraživanje kad su bili druga godina na Harvardu. Svi su završili fakultet tokom Drugog svetskog rata, a potom je većina otišla u ratnu službu. A druga grupa koju smo pratili je bila grupa dečaka iz najsiromašnijih četvrti Bostona, dečaci koji su izabrani za istraživanje baš zato što potiču iz nekih od najproblematičnijih i najugroženijih porodica iz Bostona 1930-ih. većina je živela u lamelama, mnogi nisu imali toplu, ni hladnu tekuću vodu.
When they entered the study, all of these teenagers were interviewed. They were given medical exams. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents. And then these teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors, one President of the United States. Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top, and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
Kada su postali deo istraživanja, svi ovi tinejdžeri su intervjuisani. Obavljeni su medicinski pregledi na njima. Posetili smo njihove domove i razgovarali sa njihovim roditeljima. A onda su ovi tinejdžeri postali odrasli ljudi raznih zanimanja. Postali su fabrički radnici i pravnici i zidari i doktori, jedan je postao predsednik SAD. Neki su postali alkoholičari. Nekoliko je dobilo šizofreniju. Neki su se popeli na društvenoj lestvici, s dna skroz do samog vrha, a neki su išli obrnutim smerom.
The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives.
Osnivači ovog istraživanja ne bi ni u najluđim snovima mogli da zamisle da ću danas da stojim ovde, 75 godina kasnije, i da vam govorim da istraživanje i dalje traje. Svake dve godine, naše strpljivo i posvećeno osoblje poziva naše muškarce i pita ih da li možemo da im pošaljemo još jednu seriju pitanja o njihovim životima.
Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, "Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting." The Harvard men never ask that question.
Mnogi od muškaraca iz centralnog Bostona nas pitaju: "Zašto me i dalje izučavate? Moj život prosto nije toliko zanimljiv." Muškarci sa Harvarda nikad ne postavljaju to pitanje.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires. We interview them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood, we scan their brains, we talk to their children. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."
Kako bismo imali jasniju sliku ovih života, ne šaljemo im samo upitnike. Intervjuišemo ih u njihovim dnevnim boravcima Uzimamo zdravstvene kartone od njihovih doktora. Uzimamo im krv, skeniramo njihove mozgove, razgovaramo s njihovom decom. Snimamo ih dok razgovaraju sa suprugama o svojim najvećim brigama. I kada smo, pre jedne decenije, konačno upitali supruge da nam se pridruže kao učesnice u istraživanju, mnoge žene su rekle: "Znate, bilo je i vreme."
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives? Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
Pa, šta smo naučili? Koje su lekcije proizašle iz desetina hiljada stranica informacija koje smo sakupili o ovim životima? Pa, lekcije nisu o bogatstvu ili slavi ili sve vrednijem i vrednijem radu. Najjasnija poruka koja nam je stigla iz 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja je sledeća: dobri odnosi nas održavaju srećnijima i zdravijima, i tačka.
We've learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.
Naučili smo tri važne lekcije o odnosima. Prva je da su društvene veze zaista dobre po nas i da usamljenost ubija. Ispostavilo se da ljudi, koji su društveno povezaniji s porodicom, prijateljima, društvom, su srećniji, fizički zdraviji i žive duže od ljudi koji su lošije povezani. A ispostavilo se da je iskustvo usamljenosti otrovno. Ljudi koji su izolovaniji od drugih, više nego što bi želeli da budu, otkrivaju da su manje srećni, zdravlje počnje da im se pogoršava rano tokom srednjih godina, njihove moždane funkcije ranije počnu da opadaju i žive kraće od ljudi koji nisu usamljeni. A tužna istina je da u bilo kom momentu, više od jednog od pet Amerikanaca će reći da je usamljeno.
And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, so the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
I znamo da možete biti usamljeni u gomili i da možete biti usamljeni u braku, pa je sledeća velika lekcija koju smo naučili ta da se ne radi samo o broju prijatelja koje imate i ne radi se o tome da li ste u privrženoj vezi, već je važan kvalitet vaših bliskih veza. Ispostavilo se da je život u središtu konflikta zaista loš za vaše zdravlje. Izrazito konfliktni brakovi, na primer, bez mnogo ljubavi, ispostavilo se da su veoma loši po vaše zdravlje, možda i gori od razvoda. A život unutar dobre, tople veze vas štiti.
Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.
Kako smo pratili naše muškarce sve do njihovih 80-ih, želeli smo da se osvrnemo na njih tokom srednjih godina i da vidimo možemo li predvideti ko će da ostari u srećnog, zdravog osamdesetogodišnjaka, a ko neće. I kada smo sakupili sve što znamo o njima kad su imali 50 godina, njihove vrednosti holesterola nisu te koje su predvidele kako će da ostare. Već to koliko su zadovoljni u svojim vezama. Ljudi koji su bili najzadovoljniji u svojim vezama s 50 godina su bili najzdraviji sa 80 godina. A dobre, bliske veze čini se da ublažavaju bičeve i udarce starosti. Naši najsrećnije upareni muškarci i žene su izjavili, u svojim 80-im, da je u danima kad su osećali više fizičkog bola, njihovo raspoloženje ostajalo jednako vedro. Međutim, ljudi koji su bili u nezadovoljavajućim vezama, u danima kada bi prijavili više fizičkog bola, on je bio pojačan višim stepenom emotivnog bola.
And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline. And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.
A treća važna lekcija koju smo naučili o vezama i našem zdravlju je da dobre veze, ne štite samo naša tela, već štite i naše mozgove. Ispostavilo se da kad ste u sigurnoj i privrženoj vezi s drugom osobom, u svojim 80-im, to je poput štita, da ljudi koji su u vezama u kojim osećaju da zaista mogu da računaju na drugu osobu kad je to potrebno, sećanja tih ljudi duže ostaju jasna. A ljudi u vezama u kojim osećaju da zaista ne mogu da računaju na drugu osobu, ti ljudi ranije doživljavaju pogoršanje pamćenja. A te dobre veze, ne moraju stalno da budu prijatne. Neki od naših osamdestogodišnjih parova mogu zvocati jedno drugom po čitavi dan, međutim dokle god bi osećali da se zaista mogu osloniti jedno na drugo kad dođe teško vreme, te svađe nisu uzimale danak njihvom pamćenju.
So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we're human. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it's not sexy or glamorous. It's also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.
Dakle, ova poruka da su dobre, prisne veze dobre za naše zdravlje i dobrobit, ova mudrost je stara kao Grčka. Zašto je ovo teško shvatiti i lako zanemariti? Pa, ljudi smo. Mi bismo zaista želeli brza rešenja, nešto što možemo da uzmemo zbog čega će naši životi biti dobri i takvi će i ostati. Veze su haotične i složene, a vredan rad na održavanju porodice i prijatelja, nije ni seksi, ni glamurozan. Uz to je i celoživotan. Nikad se ne završava. Ljudi iz našeg 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja koji su bili najsrećniji kao penzioneri su oni koji su aktivno radili na zameni prijatelja s posla, onim za zabavu. Baš kao milenijumska generacija u skorašnjem istraživanju, većina naših muškaraca, na samom početku, kao mladići, zaista su verovali da su slava i bogatstvo i velika dostignuća ono što moraju da jure da bi imali dobar život. Ali iznova i iznova, tokom ovih 75 godina, naše istraživanje je pokazivalo da su najdalje stigli ljudi koji su se oslanjali na veze, s porodicom, prijateljima, zajednicom.
So what about you? Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60. What might leaning in to relationships even look like?
Dakle, šta je s vama? Recimo da imate 25 ili 40 ili 60 godina. Kako bi oslanjanje na veze uopšte izgledalo?
Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years, because those all-too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.
Pa, mogućnosti su skoro neograničene. Moglo bi da bude nešto prosto kao menjanje vremena ispred ekrana vremenom s ljudima ili oživljavanje učmale veze novom zajedničkom aktivnošću, dugim šetnjama ili izlascima uveče ili posezanje za članom porodice s kim niste razgovarali godinama jer sve te opšte poznate porodične svađe uzimaju užasan danak ljudima koji su zlopamtila.
I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this: "There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that."
Želeo bih da završim citatom Marka Tvena. Pre više od jednog veka, osvrtao se na svoj život i napisao sledeće: "Nema vremena, tako kratak je život, za prepirke, izvinjenja, prezir, pozivanja na odgovornost. Imamo samo vremena za ljubav, i to samo tren, tako reći, za to."
The good life is built with good relationships.
Dobar život se gradi dobrim vezama.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)