What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous.
Que é o que nos mantén con saúde e felices durante a vida? Se tivésedes que investir agora no voso mellor futuro, onde poñeriades o voso tempo e a vosa enerxía? Unha enquisa recente á xeración do milenio preguntoulles cales eran as metas máis importantes na súa vida, e máis do 80 % dixo que unha meta importante era facerse ricos. E outro 50 % deses mesmos adultos novos dixo que outra meta importante era ser famosos.
(Laughter)
(Risos)
And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get. Most of what we know about human life we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and sometimes memory is downright creative.
E dísenos constantemente que traballemos máis, que nos esforcemos para acadar máis logros. Dános a impresión de que debemos perseguir estas cousas para ter unha boa vida. As imaxes de vidas enteiras, das decisións que toma a xente, e o resultado desas decisións son case imposibles de obter. Gran parte do que sabemos da vida sabémolo pedíndolle á xente que lembre o seu pasado. E, como sabemos, a retrospectiva é todo menos rigorosa. Esquecemos grandes fragmentos do que nos ocorre na vida, e, ás veces, a memoria é francamente creativa.
But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?
Pero, e se puidésemos ver vidas enteiras conforme se desenvolven no tempo? E se puidésemos estudar as persoas desde a adolescencia ata a vellez para ver que mantén a xente feliz e saudable?
We did that. The Harvard Study of Adult Development may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn out.
Fixémolo. O Estudo de Desenvolvemento Adulto de Harvard pode que sexa o estudo máis longo sobre a vida adulta na historia. Durante 75 anos, rastrexamos a vida de 724 homes, ano tras ano, preguntámoslles sobre o seu traballo, a vida doméstica, a saúde, e, claro, preguntando todo ese tempo sen saber como resultarían as súas historias de vida.
Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade because too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted, or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and the persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90s. And we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of these men. And I'm the fourth director of the study.
Estudos coma este son moi raros. Case todos os proxectos deste tipo véñense abaixo nunha década porque moitas persoas abandonan o estudo ou os fondos da investigación rematan ou os investigadores perden o interese ou morren, e ninguén continúa a investigación. Pero, grazas a unha combinación de sorte e á perseveranza de varias xeracións de investigadores, este estudo sobreviviu. Uns 60 dos 724 homes orixinais aínda están vivos, e aínda participan no estudo, a maioría deles andan polos 90 anos. E agora imos comezar a estudar máis de 2000 fillos deses homes. E eu son o cuarto director do estudo.
Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. They all finished college during World War II, and then most went off to serve in the war. And the second group that we've followed was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods, boys who were chosen for the study specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in the Boston of the 1930s. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.
Desde 1938, rastrexamos as vidas de dous grupos de homes. O primeiro grupo comezou no estudo sendo alumnos de segundo ano na Universidade de Harvard. Todos remataron a universidade durante a II Guerra Mundial e, despois, a maioría participou na Guerra. O segundo grupo que seguimos foi un grupo de rapaces dos barrios máis pobres de Boston, rapaces que se elixiron para o estudo especificamente porque proviñan dalgunhas das familias máis problemáticas e desfavorecidas do Boston dos anos 30. A maioría vivía en barracas, moitos sen auga corrente.
When they entered the study, all of these teenagers were interviewed. They were given medical exams. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents. And then these teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors, one President of the United States. Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top, and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
Cando comezaron o estudo, todos estes adolescentes foron entrevistados. Fixéronlles exames médicos. Fomos ás súas casas e entrevistamos os seus pais. Despois estes adolescentes chegaron a ser adultos que seguiron camiños diversos na vida. Foron operarios de fábrica, avogados, albaneis, médicos, un foi presidente de EE.UU. Algúns sufriron alcoholismo. Outros poucos sufriron esquizofrenia. Algúns subiron na escala social desde a base ata o cumio, e outros foron en sentido contrario.
The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives.
Os fundadores deste estudo nin nas súas fantasías máis tolas imaxinarían que eu estaría hoxe aquí, 75 anos despois, contándovos que o estudo continúa. Cada dous anos, o noso entregado e paciente persoal de investigación chama estes homes e pregúntalles se podemos enviarlles outra serie de preguntas sobre as súas vidas.
Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, "Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting." The Harvard men never ask that question.
Moitos dos homes de Boston pregúntannos: "Por que queren seguir estudándome? A miña vida xa non é interesante." Os homes de Harvard nunca fan esta pregunta.
(Laughter)
(Risos)
To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires. We interview them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood, we scan their brains, we talk to their children. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."
Para obter a imaxe máis clara destas vidas, non só lles enviamos cuestionarios. Entrevistámolos nos seus salóns. Conseguimos as súas historias clínicas. Extraémoslles sangue, escaneamos os seus cerebros, falamos cos seus fillos. Gravamos as conversas coas súas esposas sobre as súas preocupacións. E cando, hai unha década, lles preguntamos ás esposas se querían sumarse como membros do estudo, moitas mulleres dixeron: "Vaia, xa era hora".
(Laughter)
(Risos)
So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives? Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
Que aprendemos? Que leccións xorden das decenas de miles de páxinas de información que xeramos sobre estas vidas? Ben, as leccións non teñen que ver con riqueza, fama nin con traballar moito. A mensaxe máis clara destes 75 anos de estudo é esta: As boas relacións fannos máis felices e saudables. Punto.
We've learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.
Aprendemos tres cousas sobre as relacións. A primeira é que as conexións sociais fannos ben, e que a soidade mata. Resulta que as persoas con máis vínculos sociais coa familia, os amigos, a comunidade, son máis felices, máis sas e viven máis que as persoas que teñen menos vínculos. E experimentar soidade resulta ser tóxico. As persoas que están máis illadas do que quererían doutras persoas atópanse menos felices, a súa saúde empeora antes na mediana idade, as súas funcións cerebrais decaen máis axiña e viven menos que as persoas que non están soas. E o triste é que, en calquera momento, máis dun de cada cinco estadounidenses informarán de que están sós.
And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, so the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
E sabemos que podemos estar sós na multitude e podemos estar sós nun matrimonio, por iso a segunda gran lección que aprendemos é que non ten que ver coa cantidade de amigos que temos, tampouco con que esteamos nunha relación, o que importa é a calidade das relacións máis próximas. Resulta que vivir no medio de conflitos é moi malo para a saúde. Os matrimonios moi conflitivos, por exemplo, sen moito afecto, resultan ser moi malos para a saúde, quizais peores que o divorcio. E vivir en medio de relacións boas e cálidas protéxenos.
Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.
Cando os nosos homes chegaron aos oitenta e tantos, quixemos analizar como foi a súa mediana idade para ver se podiamos predicir quen se convertería nun octoxenario feliz e saudable e quen non. E cando recollemos todo o que non sabiamos deles aos seus 50 anos, non foron os niveis de colesterol da mediana idade os que predixeron como envellecerían. Foi o grao de satisfacción que tiñan nas súas relacións. As persoas máis satisfeitas coas súas relacións aos 50 anos foron as máis saudables aos 80 anos. E as boas relacións próximas parecen suavizar algúns dos achaques da vellez. Os nosos homes e mulleres en parella máis felices informaron, aos seus oitenta e tantos, de que cando sentían máis dor física seguían sendo igual de felices. Pero as persoas que estaban en relacións infelices, nos días que informaban de teren máis dor física, esta magnificábase pola dor emocional.
And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline. And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.
E a terceira gran lección que aprendemos sobre as relacións e a saúde é que as boas relacións non só protexen o corpo, senón tamén o cerebro. Resulta que ter unha relación segura de apego con outra persoa aos 80 e tantos dá protección, que as persoas que teñen relacións en que senten que poden contar coa outra persoa se o precisan, teñen lembranzas máis nítidas que permanecen máis tempo. E as persoas que teñen relacións en que senten que non poden contar coa outra persoa, son persoas que perden antes a memoria. Pero as boas relacións poden non ser harmoniosas todo o tempo. Algunhas das nosas parellas octoxenarias podían pelexar de cando en vez, pero mentres sentisen que podían contar co outro cando as cousas ían mal esas pelexas non tiñan repercusións nas lembranzas.
So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we're human. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it's not sexy or glamorous. It's also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.
Pero esta mensaxe, de que as relacións boas e estreitas son boas para a saúde e o benestar, é unha sabedoría vella coma o tempo. Por que é tan difícil de entender e tan fácil de ignorar? Ben, somos humanos. O que nos gustaría sería un apaño rápido, algo que poidamos facer que nos mellore a vida e a manteña así. As relacións son unha lea, son complicadas, e coidar a familia e as amizades non é atractivo nin glamuroso. Dura toda a vida. Nunca remata. No noso estudo de 75 anos as persoas máis felices na xubilación foron as que fixeron por substituír compañeiros de traballo por novos compañeiros de xogo. Como os da xeración do milenio, naquela enquisa recente, moitos dos nosos homes cando eran adultos novos pensaban que a fama, a riqueza e os logros eran o que precisaban acadar para ter unha boa vida. Pero unha e outra vez, nestes 75 anos, o estudo amosou que a xente á que lle foi mellor foi aquela que se apoiou nas relacións, coa familia, con amizades, coa comunidade.
So what about you? Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60. What might leaning in to relationships even look like?
Que hai de vós? Digamos que tedes 25 ou 40 ou 60 anos. Que implica entregarse ás relacións?
Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years, because those all-too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.
Ben, as posibilidades son ilimitadas. Podería ser tan simple como pasar máis tempo con persoas que con pantallas ou renovar unha relación esgotada facendo algo novo xuntos, camiñadas longas ou citas nocturnas, ou achegarse a ese familiar que non vimos en anos, porque esas liortas familiares tan comúns teñen repercusións terribles nas persoas que gardan rancores.
I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this: "There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that."
Gustaríame rematar cunha cita de Mark Twain. Hai máis dun século, el estaba mirando cara a atrás a súa vida, e escribiu isto: "Non hai tempo, tan breve é a vida, para liortas, desculpas, xenreiras, peticións de contas. Só hai tempo para amar, e, mesmo para iso, só hai un instante."
The good life is built with good relationships.
A boa vida constrúese con boas relacións.
Thank you.
Grazas.
(Applause)
(Aplausos)