Some of you have heard the story before, but, in fact, there's somebody in the audience who's never heard this story in front of an audience before, so I'm a little more nervous than I normally am telling this story. I used to be a photographer for many years. In 1978, I was working for "TIME Magazine" and I was given a three-day assignment to photograph Amerasian children, children who had been fathered by American GIs all over Southeast Asia, and then abandoned -- 40,000 children all over Asia. I had never heard the word Amerasian before. I spent a few days photographing children in different countries, and like a lot of photographers and a lot of journalists, I always hoped that when my pictures are published, they might actually have an effect on a situation, instead of just documenting it.
有人應該已經聽過這個故事了, 但在座各位可能還沒有聽過這個故事, 我也從來未曾對聽眾講過這個故事, 所以這讓我比以往在講述這個故事時還要緊張。 我擔任攝影師很多年了, 1978年時我受僱於時代雜誌, 他們要我在三天的時間內, 拍攝出一些美裔亞洲孩童的相片, 這些孩子的父親都是美國大兵, 他們散佈在東南亞,全都被父親遺棄了, 全亞洲總計有4萬人之多。 以前我從未聽過美裔亞洲人這個名詞, 我在幾個不同國家花了幾天時間為這些孩子照相, 就像其他的攝影師或記者一樣, 我也希望當我的照片被登出來時, 或許能改變一點現狀, 而不僅僅只是記錄這件事而已。
So, I was so disturbed by what I saw and I was so unhappy with the article that ran afterwards, that I decided I would take six months off. I was 28 years old. I decided I would find six children in different countries, and actually go spend some time with the kids, and try to tell their story a little bit better than I thought I had done for Time magazine. In the course of doing the story, I was looking for children who hadn't been photographed before, and the Pearl Buck Foundation told me that they worked with a lot of Americans who were donating money to help some of these kids. And a man told me, who ran the Pearl Buck Foundation in Korea, that there was a young girl, who was 11 years old, being raised by her grandmother. And the grandmother had never let any Westerners see her. Every time any Westerners came to the village, she hid the girl. Of course, I was immediately intrigued. I saw photographs of her and I thought I wanted to go. And the guy just told me, "This grandmother -- there's no way she's ever going to let you meet this girl that's she's raising."
我對我所看到的景像感到困惑, 對於後來搭配照片的文章也感到不快, 所以我決定停職六個月, 那時我才28歲。 我決定,我要在不同的國家找到6個孩子, 多花一點時間與他們相處, 報導這些孩子們的故事, 而且要比之前為時代雜誌所做的報導更為深入。 為了要報導這個故事, 我得找一個以前從來沒有被人報導過的小孩, 而遺珠基金會告訴我, 他們與一些曾捐錢資助 這些孩子的美國人一起合作, 其中一個在韓國為遺珠基金會工作的人告訴我, 有一個小女孩那時已經11歲了,由她的外婆扶養長大, 她外婆從不曾讓任何西方人接近她, 每次只要有西方人去到這個村落,外婆就把女孩藏起來。 這立刻就引起我的好奇心, 我看到這女孩的照片,也決定要報導這女孩的故事。 那人只說:「沒辦法,她外婆甚至不讓... 她外婆不會讓你見她親手帶大的外孫女的。」 我帶了一位翻譯前去那個村落,
I took a translator with me and went to this village, found the grandmother, sat down with her. And to my astonishment, she agreed to let me photograph her granddaughter. And I was paying for this myself, so I asked the translator if it would be OK if I stayed for the week. I had a sleeping bag. The family had a small shed on the side of the house, so I said, "Could I sleep in my sleeping bag in the evenings?" And I just told the little girl, whose name was Eun-Sook Lee, that if I ever did anything to embarrass her -- she didn't speak a word of English, although she looked very American -- she could put up her hand and say, "Stop," and I would stop taking pictures. Then my translator left. I couldn't speak a word of Korean. This is the first night I met Eun-Sook. Her mother was still alive. She was not raising her, her grandmother was raising her. And what struck me immediately was how in love the two of these people were. The grandmother was incredibly fond, deeply in love with this little girl. They slept on the floor at night. The way they heat their homes in Korea is to put bricks under the floors, so the heat radiates from underneath the floor. Eun-Sook was 11 years old.
找到那位外婆,坐下來和她談, 但出乎我意料之外, 外婆同意讓我為女孩拍照。 因為我這趟是由自己出資去的,所以我便問那翻譯, 問我是否能在那裡待上一個星期。 我有自備睡袋, 那家人在房子旁邊有個小棚, 所以我問:「晚上是否可以讓我睡在睡袋裡?」 那女孩的名叫李賢淑,雖然她長得很像美國人, 但她卻不會說英語, 所以我告訴她,如果我做了什麼她不喜歡的事, 可以把手舉起來說「Stop(停止)」, 這樣我就知道不要再幫她拍照了。 我的翻譯接著就離開了, 留下我一個人,連一句韓語也不會講, 那時我才第一次見到賢淑。 她的母親還在世, 但沒有扶養她,而是由外婆扶養。 我馬上就感受到 這二人間親密的親情, 外婆很溺愛這個小外孫女。 晚上她們睡在地板上, 韓國人會在地板下鋪磚塊, 暖氣就會從地板下散放出來。 那時賢淑才11歲,
I had photographed, as I said, a lot of these kids. Eun-Sook was the fifth child that I found to photograph. And almost universally, amongst all the kids, they were really psychologically damaged by having been made fun of, ridiculed, picked on and been rejected. And Korea was probably the place I found to be the worst for these kids. And what struck me immediately in meeting Eun-Sook was how confident she appeared to be, how happy she seemed to be in her own skin. And remember this picture, because I'm going to show you another picture later. She looks much like her grandmother, although she looks so Western.
我幫這些孩子們拍了很多照片, 賢淑是我所拍攝的主題的第5個孩子。 這些孩子在全世界都一樣, 都成為別人捉弄、嘲笑的對象,不被認同, 因此心靈大受傷害; 而我覺得這些孩子 在韓國生活得更加艱苦。 我立刻就發現, 賢淑是一個很有自信的孩子, 她也十分能接受自己。 請記住這張照片, 因為待會兒我會給各位看另一張照片, 你可以看得出來她長得有多麼像她的外婆, 儘管她有著一張西方人的臉孔。
I decided to follow her to school. This is the first morning I stayed with her. This is on the way to school. This is the morning assembly outside her school. And I noticed that she was clowning around. When the teachers would ask questions, she'd be the first person to raise her hand. Again, not at all shy or withdrawn, or anything like the other children that I'd photographed. The first one to go to the blackboard to answer questions. Getting in trouble for whispering into her best friend's ears. And one of the other things I said to her through the translator -- again, this thing about saying stop -- was to not pay attention to me. So she really just completely ignored me most of the time. I noticed that at recess, she was the girl who picked the other girls to be on her team. It was very obvious, from the beginning, that she was a leader. This is on the way home. And that's North Korea up along the hill. This is up along the DMZ. They would actually cover the windows every night, so that light couldn't be seen, because the South Korean government has said for years that the North Koreans may invade at any time. So the closer you were to North Korea, the more terrifying it was.
我決定跟著她到學校拍攝, 這是我跟她到學校的第一天早上, 這是在上學途中, 她們先在學校外面集合。 我發現她很愛開玩笑。 每當老師問問題的時候, 她總是第一個舉手回答, 不會害羞也不孤僻, 一點也不像我拍攝的其他小孩。 她也總是第一個跑上黑板寫出答案的小孩。 她在課堂上和她最好的朋友咬耳朵, 所以被處罰了。 和上次我教她說「停止」那件事一樣, 我也趁翻譯還在時請翻譯告訴她不要太在意我的拍攝, 而她也就真的完全忽略我的存在。 我發現在下課時間, 她負責挑選其他女孩到她的隊上, 從一開始,她就表現得很明顯,她是領隊。 這時回家時的照片。 山的那一邊就是北韓, 這一邊是非軍事區, 晚上大家都會把窗子遮蔽起來,以防光線外漏, 因為南韓政府長年宣導 北韓可能隨時會進攻, 所以愈靠近北韓,大家就愈恐懼。 我經常在學校幫她拍照,
Very often at school, I'd be taking pictures, and she would whisper into her girlfriends' ears, and then look at me and say, "Stop." And I would stand at attention, and all the girls would crack up, and it was sort of a little joke.
她會偷偷和另一個女孩咬耳朵, 然後看著我說:「停止。」 當我想知道發生什麼事時,其他女孩已經笑成一團, 原來她是在作弄我。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
The end of the week came and my translator came back, because I'd asked her to come back, so I could formally thank the grandmother and Eun-Sook. And in the course of the grandmother talking to the translator, the grandmother started crying. And I said to my translator, "What's going on, why is she crying?" And she spoke to the grandmother for a moment, and then she started getting tears in her eyes. And I said, "What did I do? Why is everyone crying?" And the translator said, "The grandmother says that she thinks she's dying, and she wants to know if you would take Eun-Sook to America with you." And I said, "I'm 28 years old and I live in hotels, and I'm not married." I mean, I had fallen in love with this girl, but you know, emotionally I was about 12 years old. If you know of photographers, the joke is it's the finest form of delayed adolescence ever invented. "Sorry, I have to go on an assignment, I'll be back" -- and then you never come back.
一個星期過去後,翻譯又回來了, 因為我之前就有交代她要回來, 幫我好好謝謝賢淑和她外婆。 但在翻譯和外婆溝通時, 外婆哭了起來, 我問翻譯:「怎麼回事?外婆為什麼要哭?」 翻譯又和外婆說了一陣子, 這下連翻譯也哭了起來, 我問:「這到底是怎麼回事?我到底做了什麼? 為什麼每個人都要哭?」 翻譯說:「外婆說, 她覺得自己快死了, 她想問你是不是可以把賢淑帶回美國?」 我說:「我才28歲,只在旅館暫時棲身, 也還沒結婚。」 我真的很喜歡賢淑, 但這真的很不理性,就像個12歲小孩的表現一樣。 如果你瞭解攝影這一行,你就會知道 為什麼大家都戲稱攝影師總是能把青春期無限延長: 「抱歉,我還要去趕另一場攝影,我待會兒再回來。」 然後就沒有再出現了。
So I asked the translator why she thought she was dying. Can I get her to a hospital? Could I pay to get her a doctor? And she refused any help at all. So when I got outside, I gave the translator some money and said, "Go back and see if you can do something." And I gave the grandmother my business card. And I said, "If you're serious, I will try to find a family for her." And I immediately wrote a letter to my best friends in Atlanta, Georgia, who had an 11-year-old son. And my best friend had mistakenly one day said something about wishing he had another child. So my friends Gene and Gayle had not heard from me in about a year, and suddenly I was calling, saying "I'm in Korea and I've met this extraordinary girl." And I said, "The grandmother thinks she's sick, but I think maybe we would have to bring the grandmother over also." And I said, "I'll pay for the ... " I mean, I had this whole sort of picture. So anyway, I left. And my friends actually said they were very interested in adopting her. And I said, "Look, I think I'll scare the grandmother to death, if I tell her that you're willing to adopt her. I want to go back and talk to her." But I was off on assignment. I figured I'd come back in a couple of weeks and talk to the grandmother.
於是我問翻譯為何外婆認為自己快死了, 或許我能帶她上醫院,或找個醫生來看她呢? 但她拒絕任何人的協助。 我走到屋外, 給了翻譯一些錢,說: 「請你再回來看看是不是能幫他們什麼忙。」 我把名片交給外婆,說: 「如果你是認真的,我會想辦法幫賢淑找個收養家庭。」 我馬上寫了封信給我最好的朋友, 他住在喬治亞州亞特蘭大,有個11歲的兒子, 他曾經有次不經意地說出 他希望能有另一個孩子。 我和我的朋友金恩和蓋兒已經有一年沒有聯絡了, 突然間我就告訴他們:「我在韓國, 我見到了一個很棒的女孩!」 還說:「她外婆覺得自己生病了, 所以我認為或許我們應該把外婆一起接過去。」 我又說:「我會負擔費用...」我以為自己都計畫好了, 所以我就離開了。 後來我的朋友說他們對領養賢淑很有興趣, 我說:「如果我只是寫封信去告訴外婆 你想要領養賢淑這件事, 外婆恐怕會被嚇死,我還是回去親自告訴她好了。」 但我有另外的工作要做, 我以為我可以在幾星期之內完成,那時再回去告訴她。 接著就到了聖誕節,
And on Christmas Day, I was in Bangkok with a group of photographers and got a telegram -- back in those days, you got telegrams -- from Time magazine saying someone in Korea had died and left their child in a will to me. Did I know anything about this? Because I hadn't told them what I was doing, because I was so upset with the story they'd run. So, I went back to Korea, and I went back to Eun-Sook's village, and she was gone. And the house that I had spent time in was empty. It was incredibly cold. No one in the village would tell me where Eun-Sook was, because the grandmother had always hidden her from Westerners. And they had no idea about this request that she'd made of me. So I finally found Myung Sung, her best friend that she used to play with after school every day. And Myung Sung, under some pressure from me and the translator, gave us an address on the outside of Seoul. And I went to that address and knocked on the door, and a man answered the door. It was not a very nice area of Seoul, there were mud streets outside of it. And I knocked on the door and Eun-Sook answered the door, and her eyes were bloodshot, and she seemed to be in shock. She didn't recognize me -- there was no recognition whatsoever. And this man came to the door and kind of barked something in Korean. And I said to the translator, "What did he say?" And she said, "He wants to know who you are." And I said, "Tell him that I am a photographer." I started explaining who I was, and he interrupted. And she said, "He says he knows who you are, what do you want?" I said, "Well, tell him that I was asked by this little girl's grandmother to find a family for her." And he said, "I'm her uncle, she's fine, you can leave now."
那時我在曼谷和一群攝影師一起工作, 我收到一封電報,那個時代只能以電報緊急聯絡, 時代雜誌的人告訴我韓國的某人死了, 留下一個孩子和一封遺囑要給我。 他們問我是否知道這件事? 我並沒有告訴雜誌社之前那段時間我做了什麼, 因為我對他們之前所報導的專題很不滿意。 於是我趕回韓國,回到賢淑的村落, 但賢淑不見了, 那棟我曾住過的房子已經空了, 在那冬天顯得特別冷。 村子裡沒人願意告訴我賢淑去了哪裡, 因為他們記得外婆總是不讓西方人接近賢淑, 他們也不知道外婆曾留了一份遺囑給我。 最後我找到宋明, 她是賢淑每天放學後最好的玩伴, 我和翻譯給了宋明一些壓力, 她才給了我們在首爾郊外的一個住址。 我找到那個地方,敲了敲門, 有個男人來應門。 那個地方算是首爾較差的區域, 外圍的街道都還是泥巴地。 接著賢淑出現了, 她的眼眶很紅,看來是受到了驚嚇, 她沒有認出我,像是不認識我一樣。 男人馬上來到門前,開始對我大聲咆哮著韓語, 我問翻譯:「他說了什麼?」 她說:「他想知道你是誰。」 我說:「告訴他我是個攝影師。」 我想要解釋我的身份,但是他制止我, 翻譯說:「他說他知道你是誰,但你要做什麼?」 我說:「告訴他,我是應她外婆的要求, 來幫賢淑找個收養家庭的。」 他說:「我是她舅舅,她很好,你可以走了。」
So I was -- The door was being slammed in my face, it's incredibly cold, and I'm trying to think, "What would the hero do in a movie, if I was writing this as a movie script?" So I said, "It's really cold, I've come a very long way, do you mind if I come in for a minute? I'm freezing." So the guy reluctantly let us in and we sat down on the floor. And as we started talking, I saw him yell something, and Eun-Sook came and brought us some food. And I had this whole mental picture of -- sort of like Cinderella. I sort of had this picture of this incredibly wonderful, bright, happy little child, who now appeared to be very withdrawn, being enslaved by this family. And I was really appalled, and I couldn't figure out what to do. And the more I tried talking to him, the less friendly he was getting. So finally I said "Look," -- this is all through the translator, because, you know, I don't speak a word of Korean -- and I said, "Look, I'm really glad that Eun-Sook has a family to live with. I was very worried about her. I made a promise to her grandmother, your mother, that I would find a family, and I'm so happy that you're going to take care of her. But I bought an airline ticket and I'm stuck here for a week. I'm staying in a hotel downtown. Would you like to come and have lunch tomorrow? And you can practice your English." Because he told me -- I was trying to ask him questions about himself.
他就把門在我面前猛地關上, 外面真的很冷,我試著回想: 「如果我是電影編劇, 我會怎麼安排英雄出場呢?」 我說:「嘿,外面很冷,我走了這麼遠的路才來到這裡, 是不是可以讓我進來待個一分鐘?我真的快凍死了。」 那男人不太甘願地讓我們進去,就讓我們坐在地板上, 當我們開始談話時,我看到他在吼叫著什麼, 接著賢淑就跑出來,為我們端上一些食物。 我突然覺得賢淑就好像灰姑娘, 原本是一個很活潑、 積極、快樂的小女孩,現在變得很內向, 在這個家庭裡像是奴隸一樣。 我覺得很害怕,不知道該做些什麼。 我愈想和他說些什麼,這個男人卻愈來愈不友善, 於是我下定決心,我說:「嘿!」 我的話全由翻譯轉達, 因為我不會說半句韓語, 我說:「嘿!我很高興賢淑可以和家人一起住, 我之前真的很替她擔心, 因為我答應過她的外婆,也就是你的母親,我會幫她找個收養家庭, 我很高興你願意照顧賢淑。」 我說:「但是我的回程機票 是訂在一個星期之後, 所以我會在市中心的旅館裡住一個星期, 你們明天願意過來和我一起吃個中飯嗎? 你也可以練習一下你的英文。」因為他告訴過我這件事, 那時我正想多瞭解他一點。
And so I went to the hotel, and I found two older Amerasians. A girl whose mother had been a prostitute, and she was a prostitute, and a boy who'd been in and out of jail. And I said to them, "Look, there's a little girl who has a tiny chance of getting out of here and going to America. I don't know if it's the right decision or not, but I would like you to come to lunch tomorrow and tell the uncle what it's like to walk down the street, what people say to you, what you do for a living. I want him to understand what happens if she stays here. And I could be wrong, I don't know, but I wish you would come tomorrow."
於是我回到旅館,又找到另外二個年紀較大的美裔亞洲人, 女孩的母親以前是個妓女, 女孩自己也曾做過妓女, 男孩則是不斷在監獄裡進出。 我告訴他們:「有個小女孩, 她可能有一絲機會可以離開這裡去美國, 我不知道這個決定是否正確, 但我希望你們明天一起來吃中飯, 告訴那位舅舅外面的世界是怎麼樣的, 現在外面的人都對你們說些什麼,還有你們怎麼謀生活, 我希望他能瞭解賢淑待在這裡的下場會是如何, 我的決定可能是錯的,我不知道,但是我希望你們明天都能來。」
So, these two came to lunch and we got thrown out of the restaurant. They were yelling at him, it got to be really ugly. We went outside, and he was just furious. And I knew I had totally blown this thing. Here I was again, trying to figure out what to do. And he started yelling at me, and I said to the translator, "Tell him to calm down, what is he saying?" And she said, "He's saying, 'Who the hell are you to walk into my house, some rich American with your cameras around your neck, accusing me of enslaving my niece? This is my niece, I love her, she's my sister's daughter. Who the hell are you to accuse me of something like this?'" And I said, you know, "Look, you're absolutely right. I don't pretend to understand what's going on here. All I know is, I've been photographing a lot of these children. I'm in love with your niece, I think she's an incredibly special child." And I said, "Look, I will fly my friends over here from the United States if you want to meet them, to see if you approve of them. I just think that -- what little I know about the situation, she has very little chance here of having the kind of life that you probably would like her to have."
這二個孩子第二天都來吃中飯, 但我們被餐廳趕了出來, 因為他們對著這位舅舅大吼,場面真的很難看。 我們走到外頭,舅舅還是餘怒難平, 我知道我搞砸了, 只能再想辦法解決。 但這位舅舅開始對我吼,我只好問翻譯: 「請他冷靜一下吧,他在說什麼?」 她說:「舅舅說, 你算哪根葱敢到我的家裡, 以為你是個有錢的美國人,脖子上還掛著照相機就了不起啊, 還敢說我虐待我的外甥女? 這是我外甥女,我愛她,她是我姐姐的女兒, 你是什麼玩意兒, 敢跟說我這些?」 我只好說:「你說的都對, 我並不瞭解你們的關係, 我只知道我為這些孩子拍過很多照片, 我很喜歡你的外甥女, 我覺得她是個很特別的孩子。 如果你願意,我會請我的朋友 從美國坐飛機過來,讓你看看是否安心。 我只是覺得,就我對這裡的瞭解, 她在這裡是很難得到 你想要給她過的那種生活。」
So, everyone told me afterwards that inviting the prospective parents over was, again, the stupidest thing I could have possibly done, because who's ever good enough for your relative? But he invited me to come to a ceremony they were having that day for her grandmother. And they actually take items of clothing and photographs, and they burn them as part of the ritual. And you can see how different she looks just in three months. This was now, I think, early February. And the pictures before were taken in September. Well, there was an American Maryknoll priest that I had met in the course of doing the story, who had 75 children living in his house. He had three women helping him take care of these kids. And so I suggested to the uncle that we go down and meet Father Keane to find out how the adoption process worked. Because I wanted him to feel like this was all being done very much above board.
後來,每個人都說我讓收養家庭到這裡來, 是我做過最蠢的事了, 還有什麼人會比自己的親人還親的呢? 後來,這位舅舅邀請我去參加 他們為賢淑外婆所舉辦的葬禮, 他們把衣物和照片都拿了出來, 依葬禮的儀式把他們全都燒了。 你可以看得出來賢淑在這三個月裡有多大的轉變, 我想這是在二月初照的照片, 之前的照片則是在九月份照的。 我在為這些孩子拍攝照片時,曾遇到過 一位美國海軍牧師, 他收養了75個孩子在他的房子裡, 有三位女士協助他照顧這些孩子。 因此,我建議這位舅舅, 一起去見見肯恩神父, 看看要怎麼辦理領養手續, 因為我想讓他知道, 這一切都能處理得很好。
So, this is on the way down to the orphanage. This is Father Keane. He's just a wonderful guy. He had kids from all over Korea living there, and he would find families for these kids. This is a social worker interviewing Eun-Sook. Now, I had always thought she was completely untouched by all of this, because the grandmother, to me, appeared to be sort of the village wise woman -- throughout the day, I noticed people kept coming to visit her grandmother. And I always had this mental picture that even though they may have been one of the poorer families in the village, they were one of the most respected. And I always felt that the grandmother had kind of demanded, and insisted, that the villagers treat Eun-Sook with the same respect they treated her. Eun-Sook stayed at Father Keane's, and her uncle agreed to let her stay there until the adoption went through. He actually agreed to the adoption.
這是我們要去孤兒院的途中, 這位是肯恩神父,他人很好, 這裡的孩子來自韓國各地, 他會為這些孩子尋找收養家庭。 這位社工正在和賢淑訪談, 我覺得賢淑以前一定沒有接觸過這些, 因為在我看來,她的外婆似乎是 村子裡很有智慧的老者, 每天我都會看到不斷有人來拜訪她的外婆, 而我一直在心裡認為, 即使他們家是村子裡最窮的一家, 但卻是最受人尊敬的家庭。 我也一直認為外婆有某種堅持, 希望村民能善待賢淑,就像他們敬重她一樣。 於是賢淑留在肯恩神父的孤兒院裡, 她的舅舅同意讓她待在這裡,直到領養程序完成為止, 他最後還是同意了讓人領養賢淑。
And I went off on assignment and came back a week later, and Father Keane said, "I've got to talk to you about Eun-Sook." I said, "Oh God, now what?" And he takes me into this room, closes the door and says, "I have 75 children here in the orphanage, and it's total bedlam." There's clothes, there's kids. Three adults and 75 kids -- you can imagine. And he said, "The second day she was here she made up a list of all of the names of the older kids and the younger kids. And she assigned one of the older kids to each of the younger kids. And then she set up a work detail list of who cleaned the orphanage on what day." And he said, "She's telling me that I'm messy and I have to clean up my room." And he said, "I don't know who raised her, but she's running the orphanage, and she's been here three days."
我又回去工作,一個星期後又回來, 肯恩神父說:「我得和你談談賢淑。」 我回說:「老天啊!又怎麼了?」 他把我帶進他的房間,把門關上, 說:「我這個孤兒院裡有75個孩子,真是一團亂, 到處都是衣服,到處都是孩子, 只有3個大人在照顧這75個孩子,你想想看是什麼情形。 賢淑到這裡的第二天,她就列出所有孩子的名單, 分成大孩子和小孩子二組, 她為每一個小孩子指派一個大孩子來照顧, 然後再列出一份工作清單, 要每個人輪流清掃整個孤兒院。 她也告訴我說我太亂了,要我把自己的房間整理好。 我真不知道是誰把她帶大的, 但是,她現在把孤兒院打理得很好, 她才來這裡三天而已耶!」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
This was movie day that she organized where all the kids went to the movies. A lot of the kids who had been adopted wrote back to the other kids, telling them what their life was like with their new families. So it was a really big deal when the letters showed up. This is a woman who is now working at the orphanage, whose son had been adopted. Gene and Gayle started studying Korean the moment they had gotten my first letter. They really wanted to be able to welcome Eun-Sook into their family. And one of the things Father Keane told me when I came back from one of these trips -- Eun-Sook had chosen the name Natasha, which I understood was from her watching a "Rocky and Bullwinkle" cartoon on the American Air Force station. This may be one of those myth-buster things that we'll have to clear up here, in a minute.
這是她安排的電影日,每個小孩都來看電影。 很多被領養的小孩, 都會寫信回來給其他的孩子, 告訴大家他們在新的家庭過得如何, 所以每當有信件來的時候,就是一件大事。 這位女士是在孤兒院工作, 她的兒子也被人領養了。 金恩和蓋兒從接到我的信起, 就開始學起韓國話來了, 他們真的希望能夠領養賢淑。 在我回到韓國時, 肯恩神父還告訴了我一件事,賢淑幫自己取了個英文名字Natasha(娜塔莎), 我一聽就知道, 這個名字是她在美國空軍基地看鹿兄鼠弟卡通片時得到的靈感。 但這或許也是那些神祕難解的事情的其中之一而已吧! 我的朋友金恩和他的兒子提姆一起飛到韓國來,
So, my friend Gene flew over with his son, Tim. Gayle couldn't come. And they spent a lot of time huddled over a dictionary. And this was Gene showing the uncle where Atlanta was on the map, where he lived. This is the uncle signing the adoption papers. Now, we went out to dinner that night to celebrate. The uncle went back to his family and Natasha and Tim and Gene and I went out to dinner. And Gene was showing Natasha how to use a knife and fork, and then Natasha was returning the utensil lessons. We went back to our hotel room, and Gene was showing Natasha also where Atlanta was. This is the third night we were in Korea. The first night we'd gotten a room for the kids right next to us.
蓋兒有事走不開。 他們花了很多時間在翻字典。 這是金恩告訴賢淑舅舅亞特蘭大在地圖上的位置,也就是他住的地方。 舅舅正在簽署領養文件。 那天晚上我們一起出去吃晚飯慶祝, 舅舅自己回去了, 所以娜塔莎、提姆、金恩和我一起吃晚飯。 金恩向娜塔莎說明該怎麼使用刀叉, 娜塔莎則向他們解釋如何使用筷子。 當我們回到旅館之後, 金恩就告訴娜塔莎亞特蘭大在哪裡。 這是我們在韓國待的第三個晚上, 第一天晚上我們把孩子們的房間安排在我們隔壁。
I'd been staying in this room for about three months -- it was a little 15-story Korean hotel. The second night, we didn't keep the kids' room, because we slept on the floor with all the kids at the orphanage. And the third night, we came back -- we'd just gone out to dinner, where you saw the pictures -- and we got to the front desk, and the guy said, "There's no other free rooms on your floor tonight, you can put the kids five floors below you." And Gene and I looked at each other and said, "We don't want two 11-year-olds five floors away." So his son said, "I have a sleeping bag, I'll sleep on the floor." And I said, "I have one too." So Tim and I slept on the floor, Natasha got one bed, Gene got the other -- kids pass out, it's been very exciting for three days.
我已經在這個房間待了有三個月的時間了, 這是韓國一間小型的15層樓旅館。 所以第二天晚上,我們把孩子們的房間退掉, 我們去孤兒院和所有的孩子一樣睡在地板上。 第三天晚上我們又回來,出去吃了晚飯, 就是各位剛才看到的照片,然後才去櫃台, 但櫃台的人說: 「今天晚上你們那一層樓已經沒有房間了, 但你們下面五層樓的樓面上還有空房間,可以讓孩子們住。」 我看金恩互相對看了一眼說: 「不,我們不要和二個11歲的孩子離那麼遠。」 金恩的兒子說:「爸爸,我有一個睡袋,我就睡在地板上好了。」 我也說:「對,我也有一個睡袋。」 所以提姆和我就睡在地板上, 娜塔莎睡一張床,金恩睡另一張床,孩子們都呼呼大睡, 那三天真是非常有趣。
We're lying in bed, and Gene and I are talking about how cool we are. We said, "That was so great, we saved this little girl's life." We were just like, you know, just full of ourselves. And we fall asleep -- and I've been in this room for a couple of months now. And they always overheat the hotels in Korea terribly, so during the day I always left the window open. And then about midnight, they turn the heat off in the hotel. So at 1am, the whole room would be like 20 below zero, and I'd get up. I'd been doing this every night I'd been there. So, sure enough, it's one o'clock, room's freezing, I go to close the window and I hear people shouting outside, and I thought, "Oh, the bars must have just gotten out." I don't speak Korean, but I'm hearing these voices, and I'm not hearing anger, I'm hearing terror. So I open the window and I look out, and there's flames coming up the side of our hotel, and the hotel's on fire. So I run over to Gene and I wake him up, and I say, "Don't freak out, I think the hotel's on fire." And now there's smoke and flames coming by our windows -- we're on the 11th floor. So the two of us were just like, "Oh my God, oh my God."
我和金恩還在聊著我們所做的事情有多麼酷, 我們說:「我們真的很棒!我們救了這小女孩一命!」 我們談的全都是自己有多棒, 然後就慢慢睡去。 我在這房間已經住了好幾個月, 韓國人總是把房間暖氣開得很強, 所以白天的時候我總是把窗戶打開, 但到了午夜的時候,旅館會把暖氣關掉, 所以在凌晨一點左右,整個房間就降到了零下20度,我就會冷得醒過來, 每個晚上都是一樣。 那天晚上也不例外,凌晨一點房間就冷得不得了, 我起來把窗戶關上,但卻聽到門外有人在大聲叫喊, 我心想:「噢,吧台剛打烊吧。」 我聽不懂韓語,但我聽得到他們的聲音, 他們的聲音沒有憤怒的情緒,反而有驚恐的情緒。 於是我打開窗戶往外看, 看到有火苗從旅館邊上竄上來, 整個旅館都著火了。 我趕忙跑到金恩那邊,把他搖醒, 我說:「金恩,別緊張,我想旅館失火了。」 那時火焰和煙霧不斷從窗戶竄進來,我們住在11樓, 我們二個口裡不斷唸著:「噢,老天爺!老天啊!」 我們把娜塔莎叫醒,但卻無法與她溝通,
So we're trying to get Natasha up, and we can't talk to her. You know what kids are like when they've been asleep for like an hour, it's like they took five Valiums -- they're all over the place. And we can't talk to her. His son had the L.L.Bean bootlaces, and we're trying to do up his laces. So we try to get to the door, we run to the door, we open the door, and it's like walking into a blast furnace. There's people screaming, the sound of glass breaking, weird thumps. And the whole room filled with smoke in about two seconds. And Gene turns around and says, "We're not going to make it." And he closes the door, and the whole room is now filled with smoke. We're all choking, and there's smoke pouring through the vents, under the doors. There's people screaming. I just remember this unbelievable -- just utter chaos.
你也知道孩子剛睡下去一個鐘頭會是什麼樣子, 就像吃了五顆安眠藥一樣,完全叫不醒。 我們也不懂韓語。 我還記得提姆穿的是里昂比恩的靴子, 我們只好幫他綁鞋帶。 接下來我們跑到門邊, 把門打開,就像走到爆炸的熔爐裡一樣, 到處都有人在尖叫,還有玻璃破碎的聲音, 和詭異的撞擊聲。 二秒之內整個房間就充滿了煙霧, 金恩回過頭來跟我說:「我們出不去了。」 他把門關上,房間裡已經都是煙霧, 我們都被煙嗆到了,煙霧從通風管灌下來, 從門縫裡鑽進來,外面還有人在尖叫。 我只記得是一片混亂。
I remember sitting near the bed, and I had two overwhelming feelings. One was absolute terror. "Oh, please God, I just want to wake up. This has got to be a nightmare, this can't be happening. Please, I just want to wake up." And the other is unbelievable guilt. Here I've been playing God with my friends' lives, my friends' son, with Natasha's life, and this what you get when you try playing God, is you hurt people. I remember just being so frightened and terrified. And Gene, who's lying on the floor, says, "We've got to soak towels." I said, "What?" "We've got to soak towels. We're going to die from the smoke." So got towels and put them over our faces and the kids' faces. Then he said, "Do you have gaffer's tape?" "What?" "Do you have gaffer's tape?" I said, "Somewhere in my Halliburton." He says, "We've got to stop the smoke. That's all we can do." I mean, Gene -- thank God for Gene. So we put the room service menus over the vents in the wall, we put blankets at the bottom of the door, we put the kids on the windowsill to try to get some air. And there was a new building, going up, that was being built right across the street from our hotel. And there, in the building, were photographers, waiting for people to jump. Eleven people ended up dying in the fire. Five people jumped and died, other people were killed by the smoke. And there's this loud thumping on the door after about 45 minutes in all this, and people were shouting in Korean. And I remember -- Natasha didn't want us opening the door -- sorry, I was trying not to open the door, because we'd spent so much time barricading the room. I didn't know who it was, I didn't know what they wanted, and Natasha could tell they were firemen trying to get us out. I remember a sort of a tussle at the door, trying to get the door open.
我記得自己坐在床邊, 有二種感覺排山倒海而來, 第一種是恐懼,就像是做惡夢,「上帝啊!求求你讓我醒來, 這一定是惡夢,這不是真的, 拜託,讓我醒來,這一定是惡夢。」 另一種感覺則是無以言喻的罪惡感, 我覺得自己想在這裡扮演救世主,但卻拿朋友、朋友的兒子和娜塔莎的性命在開玩笑, 當你想扮演救世主,你就會傷到別人。 我只記得自己無比驚恐, 但是躺在地板上的金恩卻說: 「老天,我們得把毛巾弄濕。」我說:「什麼?」 他說:「我們得把毛巾弄濕,我們會被煙給嗆死。」 於是我們跑到浴室裡,拿出毛巾, 覆蓋在自己的臉上,也覆蓋在孩子們的臉上, 金恩又問:「你有沒有膠帶?」 我說:「什麼?」他說:「你有沒有膠帶?」 我說:「有,在我的行李箱裡。」 他說:「我們得阻止煙跑進來, 這是我們唯一能做的事,別再讓煙跑進來了。」 感謝上帝,有了金恩在我身邊。 於是我們把客房服務的菜單擋在通風口前, 把毯子塞住門縫, 把孩子們放到窗臺上,以便呼吸到一些空氣。 那時附近有一棟正在興建的大樓, 就建在旅館的對街上, 我們看到在那棟建築上有許多攝影師, 正等待捕捉人們跳樓的畫面。 最後有11個人在這場大火中喪生, 其中有5人是跳樓死的,另外6人是被煙嗆死的。 大約45分鐘之後,門上傳來很大聲的撞擊聲, 有人用韓語大聲叫喊著, 娜塔莎要我們別開門, 噢不,是我不想把門打開, 因為我們花了很多時間把門堵住, 我不知道門外有誰,也不知道他們要幹什麼, 但娜塔莎知道他們是消防員,他們是要來救我們出去的。 我只記得我們為了要打開門還發生了一些爭執, 反正在12個小時之後,他們把我們安置在旅館大廳,
In any case, 12 hours later -- I mean, they put us in the lobby. Gene ended up using his coat, and his fist in the coat, to break open a liquor cabinet. People were lying on the floor. It was one of just the most horrifying nights. And then 12 hours later, we rented a car, as we had planned to, and drove back to Natasha's village. And we kept saying, "Do you realize we were dying in a hotel fire, like eight hours ago?" It's so weird how life just goes on. Natasha wanted to introduce her brother and father to all the villagers, and the day we showed up turned out to be a 60-year-old man's birthday. This guy's 60 years old. So it turned into a dual celebration, because Natasha was the first person from this village ever to go to the United States. So, these are the greenhouse tents. This is the elders teaching Gene their dances. We drank a lot of rice wine. We were both so drunk, I couldn't believe it.
金恩最後用外套包住拳頭,打破了一個酒櫃。 大家都只能躺在地上, 那真是一個恐怖的夜晚。 12個小時之後,我們租了一輛車,依照原訂計畫, 我們開回娜塔莎的村落, 我們不斷說著:「我們差點就死在那場旅館大火裡了, 那才不過是八個鐘頭前的事吧?」 人生有時就是這麼奇妙。 娜塔莎想為村民們介紹她的新爸爸和新哥哥, 但那天正好是某位長者的60大壽, 那老人已經60歲了, 於是我們合併慶祝,因為娜塔莎是村子裡 第一個要去美國的人。 這些是溫室的帳篷, 這些老人正在教金恩跳他們的舞步, 我們喝了很多米酒,每個人都喝得爛醉, 我真不敢相信!
This is the last picture before Gene and Tim headed back. The adoption people told us it was going to take a year for the adoption to go through. Like, what could you do for a year? So I found out the name of every official on both the Korean and American side, and I photographed them, and told them how famous they were going to be when this book was done. And four months later, the adoption papers came through. This is saying goodbye to everybody at the orphanage. This is Father Keane with Natasha at the bus stop. Her great aunt at the airport. I had a wonderful deal with Cathay Pacific airlines for many years, where they gave me free passes on all their airlines in return for photography. It was like the ultimate perk. And the pilot, I actually knew -- because they used to let me sit in the jump seat, to tell you how long ago this was. This is a TriStar, and so they let Natasha actually sit in the jump seat. And the pilot, Jeff Cowley, actually went back and adopted one of the other kids at the orphanage after meeting Natasha.
這是金恩和提姆返國前的最後一張照片, 領養機構的人說,整個領養程序要花上一年的時間, 那在這一年裡能做什麼? 於是我將韓國和美國二邊每一個官員的名字都找出來, 我為他們都照了相, 還告訴他們等我的書出了之後,他們會變得很有名。 四個月之後,領養程序就完成了。 這是和孤兒院裡每個人道別的照片, 肯恩神父送娜塔莎到公車站, 娜塔莎的姨婆和她在飛機場道別。 多年來,我都和國泰航空保持良好關係, 因為我替他們攝影,於是我得到了免費機票, 這簡直就是最高優惠。 我也認識飛機駕駛,因為他們常讓我坐飛機上空服員的活動摺椅, 還會告訴我那摺椅的年代有多久遠。 這是一架三星飛機,他們也讓娜塔莎坐摺椅。 傑夫.考利是這次航行的駕駛, 他因為娜塔莎的緣故,也回到孤兒院去認養了一個孩子。
This is 28 hours later in Atlanta. It's a very long flight. Just to make things even crazier, Gayle, Natasha's new mom, was three days away from giving birth to her own daughter. You know, if you were writing this, you'd say, "No, we've got to write the script differently." This is the first night showing Natasha her new cousins and uncles and aunts. Gene and Gayle know everyone in Atlanta -- they're the most social couple imaginable. So, at this point, Natasha doesn't speak a word of English, other than what little Father Keane taught her. This is Kylie, her sister, who's now a doctor, on the right. This is a deal I had with Natasha, which is that when we got to Atlanta she could cut off my beard. She never liked it very much.
28小時之後我們在亞特蘭大降落,真是一趟長途飛行。 事情好像還不夠複雜似的, 娜塔莎的新媽媽蓋兒, 還有三天就要生下一個女嬰了。 如果你是編劇,你一定會說: 「不,劇本不能這樣寫。」 這是娜塔莎到的第一晚,所有的叔叔、阿姨、表兄弟姐妹全都到了, 金恩和蓋兒在亞特蘭大人面很廣, 他們是社交場合最活躍的一對夫婦。 那時娜塔莎還不會說半句英語, 她只懂肯恩神父教她的那一點點英語。 右邊的是凱莉,娜塔莎的妹妹,現在是個醫生。 這是我和娜塔莎之間的約定,當我們回到亞特蘭大後, 她可以剪掉我的鬍子, 她一向都不喜歡我的鬍子。
She learned English in three months. She entered seventh grade at her own age level. Pledge of Allegiance for the first time. This is her cooking teacher. Natasha told me a lot of the kids thought she was stuck up, because they would talk to her and she wouldn't answer, and they didn't realize she didn't speak English very well. But what I noticed, again as an observer, was she was choosing who was going to be on her team, and seemed to be very popular very, very quickly. Now, remember the picture, how much she looked like her grandmother, at the beginning? People were always telling Natasha how much she looks like her mother, Gayle.
她在三個月之內就學會了英語, 她讀的是她這個年紀該上的七年級。 第一次宣誓效忠美國。 這是她的烹飪老師。 娜塔莎告訴我說其他小孩覺得她很高傲, 因為他們跟她說話她卻不回答, 但他們並不知道,娜塔莎一開始並不能說很流利的英語。 但我在旁邊觀察,我注意到一件事, 她又在為自己的隊伍挑選成員了, 而且很快就能和大家打成一片了。 現在看看這張照片, 看看娜塔莎和她外婆之前的照片有多像? 大家都說娜塔莎長得很像蓋兒媽媽。
(Laughter)
This is a tense moment in the first football game, I think. And Kylie -- I mean, it was almost like Kylie was her own child. She's being baptized. Now, a lot of parents, when they adopt, actually want to erase their children's history. And Gayle and Gene did the complete opposite. They were studying Korean; they bought Korean clothes. Gene even did a little tile work in the kitchen, which was that, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl that came from the hills of Korea to live happily ever after in Atlanta."
這是第一場橄欖球賽的緊張時刻。 凱莉就像是娜塔莎自己的孩子一樣, 這是她受洗的畫面。 許多父母在領養孩子之後, 都想要抺去孩子的過去, 但金恩和蓋兒的作法完全相反, 他們開始學韓國話,買韓國的服飾來穿。 金恩甚至在廚房用磁磚貼出了一幅畫, 描述在很久以前, 有個來自韓國山間的美麗女孩,快樂地生活在亞特蘭大。
She hates this picture -- it was her first job. She bought a bright red Karmann Ghia with the money she made working at Burger King. The captain of the cheerleaders. Beauty pageant. Used to do their Christmas card every year. Gene's been restoring this car for a million years.
娜塔莎很討厭這幅畫。這是她的第一份工作, 她用她在漢堡王打工賺來的錢, 買了一輛亮紅色的車。 啦啦隊隊長、 選美盛會。 他們每年都會自己製作聖誕節卡片。 金恩整修這台車已經有一百萬年了吧!
Kodak hired Natasha to be a translator for them at the Olympics in Korea. Her future husband, Jeff, was working for Canon cameras, and met Natasha at the Olympic Village. This is her first trip back to Korea. So there's her uncle. This is her half sister. She went back to the village. That's her best friend's mother. And I always thought that was a very Annie Hall kind of outfit.
柯達軟片公司聘請娜塔莎擔任韓國奧運的翻譯。 她未來的丈夫,傑夫,在佳能相機工作, 他們是在奧運村認識的。 這是她第一次回到韓國,旁邊是她舅舅, 還有她同母異父的妹妹。 她回到自己的村子,那是她最要好朋友的母親。 我一直覺得那很像安妮霍爾那部電影裡的戲服,
(Laughter)
It's just, you know, it was just so interesting, just to watch -- this is her mother in the background there. This is Natasha's wedding day. Gene is looking a little older. This is Sydney, who's going to be three years old in a couple of days. And there's Evan.
看上去就很有趣, 她母親在後面的某處。 這是娜塔莎的結婚典禮, 金恩看起來老了一點。 這是席妮,再過幾天就三歲了, 還有伊芳。
And Natasha, would you just come up, for a second, just maybe to say hello to everybody?
娜塔莎,你可以出來一下嗎? 跟大家打個招呼?
(Applause)
(掌聲)
Natasha's actually never heard me tell the story. You know, we've looked at the pictures together.
其實娜塔莎從來沒有聽我講過這個故事, 我們只是一起看這些照片。
Natasha: I've seen pictures millions of times, but today was the first time I'm actually seeing him give the whole presentation. I started crying.
娜塔莎:我看這些照片幾百遍了, 但今天是我第一次看到他完整地呈現出來。 我要哭了。
Rick Smolan: There's about 40 things she's going to tell me, "That wasn't what happened." Natasha: I'll tell you that later.
瑞克:我相信她至少會說我犯了40個以上的錯誤, 「事情不是這樣的啦!不是你說的那樣!」 娜塔莎:我等會兒就會糾正你。 (笑聲)
RS: Anyway, thank you, Mike and Richard, so much for letting us tell the story.
瑞克:謝謝你,麥克,還有理察, 非常感謝你們讓我說出這個故事,
Thank you, all of you.
謝謝各位!
(Applause)
(掌聲)