Jeg vil dele noget med jer som jeg faktisk ikke har talt med nogen om i over 10 år. Så bær over med mig mens jeg tager jer med på denne rejse. Da jeg var 22 år, kom jeg hjem fra arbejde, satte min hund i snor og tog afsted på min sædvanlige løbetur. Jeg anede på det tidspunkt ikke, at mit liv ville blive forandret for altid. Da jeg gjorde min hund klar til løbeturen, blev en mand færdig med at drikke på en bar, samlede sine bilnøgler op, satte sig ind i sin bil og kørte sydpå, eller hvor end han nu var. Jeg løb over gaden, og det eneste jeg faktisk kan huske er denne følelse af at en granat eksploderede i mit hoved. Og jeg kan huske jeg satte mine hænder på jorden og følte mit livsblod tømme sig ud af min nakke og min mund.
I'm actually going to share something with you I haven't talked about probably in more than 10 years. So bear with me as I take you through this journey. When I was 22 years old, I came home from work, put a leash on my dog and went for my usual run. I had no idea that at that moment, my life was going to change forever. While I was preparing my dog for the run, a man was finishing drinking at a bar, picked up his car keys, got into a car and headed south, or wherever he was. I was running across the street, and the only thing that I actually remember is feeling like a grenade went off in my head. And I remember putting my hands on the ground and feeling my life's blood emptying out of my neck and my mouth.
Det der var sket var, at han kørte over for rødt og ramte mig og min hund. Hun endte under bilen. Jeg fløj ud foran bilen, og så kørte han mine ben over. Mit venstre ben blev fanget i hjulbrønden -- drejede den rundt. Bilens kofanger ramte mit hals, skar den op. Jeg fik kvæstelser i brystet. Ens aorta kommer op bag ved ens hjerte. Det er ens store pulsåre, og den blev skåret over, så mit blod gurglede ud af min mund. Det skummede, og der skete forfærdelige ting med mig. Jeg havde ingen anelse om hvad der skete, men fremmede greb ind, sørgede for at mit hjerte bevægede sig, at det slog. Jeg siger bevægede, fordi det skælvede og de prøvede at sætte det i gang igen. Nogen var så smarte at de satte en Bic pen i min hals for at åbne mine luftveje, så jeg kunne få noget luft ned. Og min lunge kollapsede, så nogen skar mig op og satte også en nål derind, for at stoppe den katastrofale begivenhed fra at finde sted. På en eller anden måde endte jeg på sygehuset. Jeg blev pakket ind i is og på et tidspunkt lagt i et kunstigt koma.
What had happened is, he ran a red light and hit me and my dog. She ended up underneath the car. I flew out in front of the car, and then he ran over my legs. My left leg got caught up in the wheel well -- spun it around. The bumper of the car hit my throat, slicing it open. I ended up with blunt chest trauma. Your aorta comes up behind your heart, it's your major artery -- and it was severed, so my blood was gurgling out of my mouth. It foamed, and ... horrible things were happening to me. I had no idea what was going on, but strangers intervened, kept my heart moving, beating. I say "moving," because it was quivering, and they were trying to put a beat back into it. Somebody was smart and put a Bic pen in my neck to open up my airway, so I could get some air in there. And my lung collapsed, so somebody cut me open and put a pen in there as well, to stop that catastrophic event from happening. Somehow I ended up at the hospital. I was wrapped in ice, and then eventually put into a drug-induced coma.
18 måneder senere vågnede jeg. Jeg var blind, jeg kunne ikke tale, og jeg kunne ikke gå. Jeg vejede 29 kilo. Sygehuset havde egentlig ingen anelse om hvad man gjorde med den slags mennesker. Og faktisk begyndte de at kalde mig Gomer. Det er en anden historie, som jeg ikke engang vil begynde på. Jeg fik så mange operationer for at sætte min nakke sammen, for at reparere mit hjerte et par gange. Nogle ting virkede, nogle ting gjorde ikke. Der blev sat en masse titanium i mig, lig knogler for at prøve at få mine fødder til at bevæge sig rigtigt. Og jeg endte med at få en plastik næse og porcelæns tænder, og en masse andre ting. Men til sidst begyndte jeg at se menneskelig ud igen. Men det er nogle gange svært at tale om disse ting, så bær over med mig. Jeg fik mere end 50 operationer. Men hvem tæller?
Eighteen months later, I woke up. I was blind, I couldn't speak and I couldn't walk. I was 64 pounds. The hospital really has no idea what to do with people like that. And in fact, they started to call me a "gomer." That's another story we won't even get into. I had so many surgeries to put my neck back together, to repair my heart a few times. Some things worked, some things didn't. I had lots of titanium put in me; cadaver bones, to try to get my feet moving the right way. And I ended up with a plastic nose, porcelain teeth and all kinds of other things. But eventually, I started to look human again. But ... It's hard sometimes to talk about these things, so bear with me. I had more than 50 surgeries. But who's counting?
Så i sidste ende, besluttede sygehuset at det var tid til at jeg smuttede. De havde brug for pladsen til en anden, som de troede kunne komme tilbage fra hvad de end oplevede. Alle mistede troen på at jeg kunne komme mig. Så de satte dybest set et kort på væggen, kastede en dart, og den landede på et plejehjem her i Colorado. Og jeg ved I alle klør jer i hovedet: "Et plejehjem? Hvad i alverden vil du lave der?" Men hvis man tænker over det, alle de evner og talenter der er i dette lokale lige nu, det er det et plejehjem har. Så der var alle disse evner og talenter som disse pensionister havde. Den eneste fordel de havde i forhold til de fleste af jer er visdom, fordi de havde haft et langt liv. Og jeg havde brug for den visdom, på det tidspunkt i mit liv.
(Laughter) So eventually, the hospital decided it was time for me to go. They needed to open up space for somebody else that they thought could come back from whatever they were going through. Everybody lost faith in me being able to recover. So they basically put a map up on the wall, threw a dart, and it landed at a senior home, here in Colorado. And I know all of you are scratching your head: "A senior citizens' home? What in the world are you going to do there?" But if you think about all of the skills and talent that are in this room right now, that's what a senior home has. So there were all these skills and talents that these seniors had. The one advantage they had over most of you is wisdom, because they had a long life. And I needed that wisdom at that moment in my life.
Men forestil jer hvordan det var for dem, da jeg stod på deres dørtrin? På det tidspunkt, havde jeg taget to kilo på, jeg jeg vejede 31 kilo. Jeg var skaldet. Jeg havde en kittel fra sygehuset på. Og nogen havde doneret nogle sportssko til mig. Og jeg havde en hvid stok i en hånd og en kuffert fyldt med journaler i den anden hånd. Så pensionisterne blev klar over at de skulle have et nødmøde. (Latter) Så de trak sig tilbage og kiggede på hinanden, og de sagde, "Okay, hvilke evner har vi i dette lokale? Denne unge har brug for en masse arbejde."
But imagine what it was like for them when I showed up at their doorstep. At that point, I had gained four pounds, so I was 68 pounds. I was bald. I was wearing hospital scrubs. And somebody donated tennis shoes for me. And I had a white cane in one hand and a suitcase full of medical records in another hand. So the senior citizens realized that they needed to have an emergency meeting. (Laughter) So they pulled back and they were looking at each other, and they were going, "OK, what skills do we have in this room? This kid needs a lot of work."
Så i sidste ende begyndte de at matche deres talenter og evner med alle mine behov. Men en af de første ting de havde brug for at gøre, var at vurdere hvad jeg havde brug for med det samme. Jeg skulle regne ud hvordan man spiser som et normalt menneske, eftersom jeg havde spist gennem et rør i min brystkasse, og gennem mine årer. Så jeg skulle begynde med at prøve at spise igen. Og de gik igennem den process. Og så skulle de vurdere: "Jamen hun har brug for møbler. Hun sover i hjørnet af denne lejlighed." Så de kiggede i deres lagerrum og samlede alle de ekstra møbler -- gav mig potter og pander, tæpper, alt. Og så den næste ting jeg havde brug for var en makeover. Så de grønne kitler røg ud og ind kom polyester og blomstermønstrene. (Latter) Vi kommer ikke til at tale om de frisurer som de prøvede at påtvinge mig
So they eventually started matching their talents and skills to all of my needs. But one of the first things they needed to do was assess what I needed right away. I needed to figure out how to eat like a normal human being, since I'd been eating through a tube in my chest and through my veins. So I had to go through trying to eat again. And they went through that process. And then they had to figure out: "Well, she needs furniture. She is sleeping in the corner of this apartment." So they went to their storage lockers and all gathered their extra furniture -- gave me pots and pans, blankets -- everything. And then the next thing that I needed was a makeover. (Laughter) So out went the green scrubs, and in came the polyester and floral prints. (Laughter)
da jeg fik mit hår tilbage. Men jeg sagde nej til det blå hår.
We're not going to talk about the hairstyles they tried to force on me once my hair grew back. But I did say no to the blue hair.
(Latter)
(Laughter)
Så det der skete i sidste ende var at de besluttede at, jamen jeg skulle lære at snakke. Så man kan ikke være en uafhængig person, hvis man ikke kan tale eller se. Så de vurderede at ikke være i stand til at se er en ting, men at de skulle få mig til at tale. Så mens Sally, kontorchefen, lærte mig at tale om dagen -- det er svært, fordi når man er barn, tager man tingene for givet. Man lærer ubevidst tingene. Men for mig, jeg var en voksen og det var pinligt, og jeg skulle lære hvordan jeg skulle koordinere min nye hals med min tunge og mine nye tænder og mine læber, og fange luften og få ordet ud. Så jeg opførte mig som en to-årig og nægtede at arbejde.
So eventually, what went on is, they decided that, well, I need to learn to speak. You can't be an independent person if you're not able to speak and you can't see. So they figured not being able to see is one thing, but they need to get me to talk. So while Sally, the office manager, was teaching me to speak in the day -- it's hard, because when you're a kid, you take things for granted. You learn things unconsciously. But for me, I was an adult and it was embarrassing, and I had to learn how to coordinate my new throat with my tongue and my new teeth and my lips, and capture the air and get the word out. So, I acted like a two-year-old, and refused to work.
Men mændene havde en bedre ide. De ville gøre det sjovt for mig. Så de lærte mig bandeords Scrabble om aftenen, (Latter) og så, hemmeligt, hvordan man bander som en sømand. Så jeg vil overlade det til jeres fantasi, hvad der var mine første ord da Sally endelig fik opbygget min selvtillid.
But the men had a better idea. They were going to make it fun for me. So they were teaching me cuss-word Scrabble at night. (Laughter) And then, secretly, how to swear like a sailor. (Laughter) I'm going to just leave it to your imagination as to what my first words were -- (Laughter)
(Latter)
when Sally finally got my confidence built.
Så jeg kom videre derfra. En tidligere lærer der tilfældigvis havde Alzheimers pådrog opgaven at lære mig at skrive. Overflødigheden var faktisk ret god for mig. Så vi forsætter bare. (Latter) Et af de afgørende tidspunkter for mig var faktisk at lære at gå over gaden igen som en blind person. Så luk jeres øjne. Forestil jer nu at I skulle gå over gaden. I ved ikke hvor bred den gade er og I ved ikke om man går lige over, og man hører biler der suser frem og tilbage og man har haft et forfærdeligt uheld der fik en i denne situation. Så der var to forhindringer som jeg skulle gennem. En var posttraumatisk stresstilstand. Og hver gang jeg nærmede mig gadehjørnet eller kantstenen gik jeg i panik. Og den anden var faktisk at prøve at finde ud af hvordan jeg skulle gå over gaden.
(Laughter) So I moved on from there. And a former teacher who happened to have Alzheimer's took on the task of teaching me to write. The redundancy was actually good for me. So, we'll just keep moving on. (Laughter) One of the pivotal times for me was actually learning to cross the street again as a blind person. So close your eyes. Now imagine you have to cross a street. You don't know how far that street is, and you don't know if you're going straight. And you hear cars whizzing back and forth, and you had a horrible accident that landed you in this situation. So there were two obstacles I had to get through. One was post-traumatic stress disorder. Every time I approached the corner or the curb, I would panic. And the second one was actually trying to figure out how to cross that street.
Så en af pensionisterne kom bare op til mig, og hun skubbede mig op til gadehjørnet og hun sagde, "Når du tror det er tid til at gå, så bare stik stokken derud. Hvis den bliver ramt, så gå ikke over gaden." (Latter) Gav god mening. Men da den tredje stok fløj hen over gaden, var de klar over at de skulle samle ressourcerne og de samlede pengene til at jeg kunne gå på Braille Institute og jeg opnåede faktisk evnerne til at være en blind person, og også til at få en førerhund der forandrede mit liv. Og jeg var i stand til at komme tilbage til universitetet på grund af pensionisterne der investerede i mig, og også førerhunden og de evner jeg opnåede.
So one of the seniors just came up to me, and she pushed me up to the corner and said, "When you think it's time to go, just stick the cane out there. If it's hit, don't cross the street." (Laughter) Made perfect sense. (Laughter) But by the third cane that went whizzing across the road -- (Laughter) they realized that they needed to put their resources together, and they raised funds so that I could go to the Braille Institute and actually gain the skills to be a blind person, and also to go get a guide dog, who transformed my life. And I was able to return to college because of the senior citizens who invested in me, and also the guide dog and skill set I had gained.
10 år senere fik jeg synet tilbage. Ikke på magisk vis. Jeg valgte at få tre operationer, og en af dem var på forsøgsstadiet. Det var faktisk robot kirurgi. De fjernede en blod ansamling bag mit øje. Den største forandring for mig, var at verden havde bevæget sig fremad, at der var innovationer og alle mulige nye ting -- mobiltelefoner, bærbare, alle disse ting jeg aldrig havde set før. Og som en blind person, blegner ens visuelle minder og bliver erstattet af hvad man føler om tingene og hvordan tingene lyder og hvordan tingene dufter.
Ten years later, I gained my sight back. Not magically -- I opted in for three surgeries, and one of them was experimental. It was actually robotic surgery that removed a hematoma from behind my eye. The biggest change for me was that the world moved forward, that there were innovations and all kinds of new things -- cellphones, laptops, all these things that I had never seen before. And as a blind person, your visual memory fades, and is replaced with how you feel about things and how things sound and how things smell.
Så en dag jeg var i mit værelse og jeg så denne ting sidde i mit værelse og jeg troede det var et monster. Så jeg gik rundt om det. Og jeg tænkte, "Jeg rører bare ved det." Og jeg rørte ved det og tænkte, "Åh gud, det er en vasketøjs kurv." (Latter) Så alt er anderledes når man er en seende person fordi man tager det for givet. Men når man er blind, har man taktile minder om tingene.
So one day, I was in my room and I saw this thing sitting in my room. I thought it was a monster, so I was walking around it. And I go, "I'm just going to touch it." And I touched it and I went, "Oh my God, it's a laundry basket." (Laughter) Everything is different when you're a sighted person, because you take that for granted. But when you're blind, you have the tactile memory for things.
Den største forandring for mig var at se på mine hænder og se at jeg havde mistet 10 år af mit liv. Og jeg troede på det tidspunkt, at tiden havde stået stille af en eller anden årsag og var gået for min familie og venner. Men da jeg kiggede ned, og jeg blev klar over at tiden også gik for mig og at jeg havde brug for at blive indhentet, så jeg gik i gang med det. Vi havde ikke ord som crowdsourcing og radikalt samarbejde da ulykken skete. Men konceptet virkede -- mennesker der arbejder med mennesker for at genopbygge mig; mennesker der arbejder med mennesker for at omskole mig. Jeg ville ikke stå her i dag hvis det ikke var for ekstrem radikalt samarbejde.
The biggest change for me was looking down at my hands and seeing that I'd lost 10 years of my life. I thought that time had stood still for some reason and moved on for family and friends. But when I looked down, I realized that time marched on for me, too, and that I needed to get caught up. So I got going on it. We didn't have words like "crowdsourcing" and "radical collaboration" when I had my accident. But the concept held true -- people working with people to rebuild me; people working with people to reeducate me. I wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for extreme radical collaboration.
Mange tak.
Thank you so much.
(Bifald)
(Applause)