So today, I want us to reflect on the demise of guys. Guys are flaming out academically; they're wiping out socially with girls and sexually with women. Other than that, there's not much of a problem. So what's the data? So the data on dropping out is amazing. Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to drop out of school. In Canada, five boys drop out for every three girls. Girls outperform boys now at every level, from elementary school to graduate school. There's a 10 percent differential between getting BA's and all graduate programs, with guys falling behind girls. Two-thirds of all students in special ed. remedial programs are guys. And as you all know, boys are five times more likely than girls to be labeled as having attention deficit disorder -- and therefore we drug them with Ritalin.
Sot, une deshiroj qe te reflektojme ne zhdukjen e djemve. Djemte po deshtojne nga ana akademike; ato kane veshtiresi te shoqerizohen me vajzat dhe seksualisht me grate. Pervec kesaj, s'ka ndonje problem tjeter. Pra cilat jane te dhenat? Te dhenat per braktisje shkolle jane te habitshme. Djemte jane 30 perqind me te prirur sesa vajzat te braktisin shkollen. Ne Kanada, pese djem braktisin shkollen per cdo tre vajza. Vajzat kane performanca me te mira ne cdo nivel, nga shkolla fillore deri te diplomimi. Eshte 10 perqind diference ndermjet marrjes se Bachelor-it dhe te gjitha programeve diplomike me djemte qe renditen pas vajzave. Dy te tretat e studenteve ne programe te edukimit korigjues jane djem. Dhe sic e dini te gjithe, djemte jane pese here me te prirur se vajzat te etiketohen me mungese te vemendjes-- keshtuqe i qetsojme ata me Ritalin.
What's the evidence of wiping out? First, it's a new fear of intimacy. Intimacy means physical, emotional connection with somebody else -- and especially with somebody of the opposite sex who gives off ambiguous, contradictory, phosphorescent signals. (Laughter) And every year there's research done on self-reported shyness among college students. And we're seeing a steady increase among males. And this is two kinds. It's a social awkwardness. The old shyness was a fear of rejection. It's a social awkwardness like you're a stranger in a foreign land. They don't know what to say, they don't know what to do, especially one-on-one [with the] opposite sex. They don't know the language of face contact, the non-verbal and verbal set of rules that enable you to comfortably talk to somebody else, listen to somebody else.
Cila eshte evidenca e renies? Fillimisht, eshte nje frike e re e initimitetit. Intimiteti nenkupton lidhshmeri fizike e emocionale me dike tjeter-- dhe vecanerisht me dike te gjinise se kundert i cili dergon sinjalet e dykuptushme, kontradiktore, fosforoshente. (Te qeshura) Cdo vit behen hulumtime ne druajtjen e vete-raportuar mes studenteve te universitetit. Dhe po shohim nje rritje te qendrushme tek meshkujt. Dhe kjo eshte ne dy lloje. Eshte nje ngathtesi shoqerore. Druajtja e vjeter ishte frike e refuzimit. Eshte nje ngathtesi shoqerore sikur jeni nje i huaj ne toke te huaj. Ata nuk dine cfare te thone, nuk dine cfare te bejne, sidomos nje-ne-nje me gjinine e kundert. Ata nuk dine gjuhen e kontaktit te fytyres rregullat verbale dhe jo- verbale qe mundesojne qe te flisini lehtesisht me dike tjeter, te degjoni dike tjeter.
There's something I'm developing here called social intensity syndrome, which tries to account for why guys really prefer male bonding over female mating. It turns out, from earliest childhood, boys, and then men, prefer the company of guys -- physical company. And there's actually a cortical arousal we're looking at, because guys have been with guys in teams, in clubs, in gangs, in fraternities, especially in the military, and then in pubs. And this peaks at Super Bowl Sunday when guys would rather be in a bar with strangers, watching a totally overdressed Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers, rather than Jennifer Lopez totally naked in the bedroom. The problem is they now prefer [the] asynchronistic Internet world to the spontaneous interaction in social relationships.
Do te doja te zhvilloja ketu konceptin e quajtur sindromi i intensitetit shoqeror, i cili tenton te shpjegoje pse djemte preferojne lidhjet me meshkujt kundrejt femrave . Me sa duket, qe nga femijeria e hershme, djemte, dhe pastaj burrat, preferojne shoqerine e meshkujve-- shoqerine fizike. Dhe ne fakt po studiojme nje stimulim te pjeses se korteksit ne tru sepse djemte bashkohen me djem ne skuadra, klube, ne grupe, ne miqesi, sidomos ne ushtri, dhe pastaj ne klubet. Dhe kjo arrje kulmin ne Super Bowl Sunday ku djemte me shume do te preferonin te ishin ne nje bar me te panjohur, duke pare Aaron Rodgers te Green Bay Packers krejt te veshur, sesa Jennifer Lopez krejt te zhveshur ne dhome te gjumit. Problemi eshte se ata tani preferojne boten e pa sinkronizuar te internetit ndaj bashkeveprimit spontan ne mardheniet shoqerore.
What are the causes? Well, it's an unintended consequence. I think it's excessive Internet use in general, excessive video gaming, excessive new access to pornography. The problem is these are arousal addictions. Drug addiction, you simply want more. Arousal addiction, you want different. Drugs, you want more of the same -- different. So you need the novelty in order for the arousal to be sustained.
Cilat jane shkaqet? Eshte nje pasoje e paqellimshme. Une mendoj se perdorimi i tepruar i internetit ne pergjithesi, video lojrave, qasje e tepruar ne pornografi. Problemi eshte se keto jane varesi te stimuluara. Varesi ne droge, ju thjesht deshironi me shume. Varesi e eksitimit, ju deshironi te ndryshme. Drogat, ju deshironi me shume te se njejtes-- te ndryshme. Pra ju duhet nje gje e re ne menyre qe eksitimi te jete i qendrushem.
And the problem is the industry is supplying it. Jane McGonigal told us last year that by the time a boy is 21, he's played 10,000 hours of video games, most of that in isolation. As you remember, Cindy Gallop said men don't know the difference between making love and doing porn. The average boy now watches 50 porn video clips a week. And there's some guy watching a hundred, obviously. (Laughter) And the porn industry is the fastest growing industry in America -- 15 billion annually. For every 400 movies made in Hollywood, there are 11,000 now made porn videos.
Dhe problemi eshte se industria po e furnizon ate. Jane McGonigal na tha vitin e kaluar se ne kohen kur nje djale eshte 21, ai ka luajtur 10,000 ore ne video lojra, shumicen prej saj ne izolim. Sic ju kujtohet, Cindy Gallop tha burrat nuk e dine ndryshimin ndermjet berjes dashuri dhe pornografise. Nje djale mesatarisht shikon 50 video porno ne jave. Dhe ka djem qe shikojne njeqind, me sa duket. (Te qeshura) Industria pornografike eshte industria me rritje me te shpejte ne Amerike-- 15 miliarde ne vit. Per cdo 400 filma te prodhuar ne Hollywood, jane bere 11,000 video pornografike.
So the effect, very quickly, is it's a new kind of arousal. Boys' brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way for change, novelty, excitement and constant arousal. That means they're totally out of sync in traditional classes, which are analog, static, interactively passive. They're also totally out of sync in romantic relationships, which build gradually and subtly.
Shpejt e shpejt, keshtu qe efekti, eshte nje lloj i ri i eksitimit. Truri i djemve po riformatohet ne menyre krejtsisht te re per ndryshim, risi, entuziazem dhe stimulim konstant. Kjo nenkupton qe ata jane krejt te pasinkronizuar ne kurset tradicionale, te cilet jane analoge, statike, interaktive pasive. Ata gjithashtu jane larg sinkronizimit ne mardheniet romantike, te cilat i ndertojne gradualisht dhe bute
So what's the solution? It's not my job. I'm here to alarm. It's your job to solve.
Pra cila eshte zgjidhja? Nuk eshte puna ime. Jam ketu per te alarmuar. Eshte puna juaj t'a zgjidhni.
(Laughter)
(Te qeshura)
(Applause)
( Duartrokitje)
But who should care? The only people who should care about this is parents of boys and girls, educators, gamers, filmmakers and women who would like a real man who they can talk to, who can dance, who can make love slowly and contribute to the evolutionary pressures to keep our species above banana slugs. No offense to banana slug owners. Thank you.
Por kujt duhet t'i interesoje? Te vetmit njerez te cilet duhet te shqetesohen per kete jane prinderit e djemve dhe vajzave, edukatoret, prodhuesit e filmave dhe grate te cilat duan nje burre prej verteti me te cilin mund te flasin, mund te vallezojne, mund te beje dashuri ngadale dhe te kontribuojne ne presionet e evolucionit per te mbajtur specien tone mbi nivelin e kermijve. Pa dashur te ofendoj pronaret e kermijve. Faleminderit.
(Applause)
( Duartroktije)