Okay, now I don't want to alarm anybody in this room, but it's just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar.
嗯,我不想驚動在這講廳內的任何人 但那引起我的注意
(Laughter)
在你右邊的那人是騙子。
Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. We're all liars. What I'm going to do today is I'm going to show you what the research says about why we're all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth seeking, and ultimately to trust building.
(笑) 還有,你左邊的那個是個騙子。 坐在你位子上的那個人也是個騙子。 我們全是騙子。 今天我要做的是 我要讓你們看看為何研究指出我們都是騙子的理由、 你如何能成為識破謊言者 及為何你也許想更進一步 由識破謊言到尋求真相, 最終到信任的殿堂。
Now, speaking of trust, ever since I wrote this book, "Liespotting," no one wants to meet me in person anymore, no, no, no, no, no. They say, "It's okay, we'll email you."
說到信任, 打從我寫這本書《破解謊言》 再也沒有人想和我會面,不、不、不、不、不。 他們說:「沒關係,我們會email 給你。」
(Laughter)
(笑)
I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks. My husband's like, "Honey, deception? Maybe you could have focused on cooking. How about French cooking?"
我甚至得不到在星巴克喝咖啡的約會。 我丈夫會說:「親愛的,『欺騙』? 也許你可以專研烹飪。法國烹飪如何?」
So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha. Liespotters aren't those nitpicky kids, those kids in the back of the room that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha! Your eyebrow twitched. You flared your nostril. I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.' I know you're lying." No, liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. They use it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do everyday; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition, and that proposition is the following: Lying is a cooperative act. Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.
那麼在開始前,我首先要 為你們釐清我的目標, 我不是要教『抓鬼(Gotcha)』遊戲。 識破謊言者不是那些雞蛋裡挑骨頭的孩子, 在房子後面大喊:「抓到了! 抓到了! 你的眉毛抽搐、你撐大鼻孔。 我有看電視節目〈對我撒謊〉(Lie to me)。我知道你在說謊。」 不,識破謊言者身懷 辨識欺騙的科學知識。 他們用之以取得真相, 他們做謹慎的領導者每天在做的事; 他們運用招術與棘手的人物交談, 有時更是在相當難熬的時候。 他們一開始便循 依據同意一個核心論點的路線, 該論點如下述: 『說謊是一種樂意共構的行動』。 想一想,單僅是話語,一個謊言成不了氣候。 其能量匯集而成, 當其他人同意也相信謊言。
So I know it may sound like tough love, but look, if at some point you got lied to, it's because you agreed to get lied to. Truth number one about lying: Lying's a cooperative act. Now not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret. We say, "Nice song." "Honey, you don't look fat in that, no." Or we say, favorite of the digiratti, "You know, I just fished that email out of my Spam folder. So sorry."
我知道那也許聽來像『嚴苛的愛(tough love)』, 但聽好,在某些時候你被騙 那是因為你同意被騙。 有關說謊的一號真相:說謊是一種共構的行為。 不是所有的謊言都有害。 有時我們是騙局的自願參與者, 為社交體面之故, 可能對當保守的袐密守口如瓶。 我們說:「好歌。」 「親愛的,你穿那件看起來不胖,不。」 或是網路高手的最愛,我們說: 「你明白的,我才剛從垃圾郵件匣找出那封信。 所以,抱歉囉!」
But there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception. And that can have dramatic costs for us. Last year saw 997 billion dollars in corporate fraud alone in the United States. That's an eyelash under a trillion dollars. That's seven percent of revenues. Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the case of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country, they can compromise our security, they can undermine democracy, they can cause the deaths of those that defend us.
但有時我們是非自願參與欺騙。 我們為其付出慘痛代價。 去年發生了九千九百七十億元 企業集團詐欺,單單在美國。 那是兆美元之一分,九牛一毛。 那是7%的稅收。 詐欺能耗上數來億。 想想安隆案( Enron)、馬道夫騙局(Madoff)、次級房貸危機。 或者是雙重代理和背信的案例, 像是Robert Hanssen或者Aldrich Ames(兩者皆為間諜), 謊言能出賣我們的國家、 謊言會危及我們國防、謊言能削弱民主、 謊言會導致捍衛我們的一切瓦解。
Deception is actually serious business. This con man, Henry Oberlander, he was such an effective con man, British authorities say he could have undermined the entire banking system of the Western world. And you can't find this guy on Google; you can't find him anywhere. He was interviewed once, and he said the following. He said, "Look, I've got one rule." And this was Henry's rule, he said, "Look, everyone is willing to give you something. They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for." And that's the crux of it. If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know, what is it that you're hungry for?
詐欺事實上是危險的生意。 騙徒Henry Oberlander, 他是高桿的騙徒, 英國當局表示 他本可破壞西方世界的整個銀行系統。 你在Google搜尋不到這個人;你無從找起。 他有次受訪,說了這樣的話, 他說:「瞧,我有條法則。」 這是『亨利的法則』,他說: 「瞧,每個人願意給你某東西。 他們準備好給你某東西,換取他們渴求的,不論是什麼。」 而這就是其關鍵。 若你不想被欺騙,你必須知道 你最渴望的是什麼?
And we all kind of hate to admit it. We wish we were better husbands, better wives, smarter, more powerful, taller, richer -- the list goes on. Lying is an attempt to bridge that gap, to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be, with what we're really like. And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps in our lives with lies.
我們都有點討厭承認這點。 我們希望我們是更佳的丈夫、更佳的妻子; 更聰明、更有權力、 更高、更富有── 願望清單不勝枚舉。 說謊是企圖在那道溝上架橋; 把我們的願望、幻想 關於我們希望我們是誰、我們希望我們能如何 與我們真正面貌連結。 嘿!我們樂意以謊言填滿我們生命的溝壑。
On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times. Now granted, many of those are white lies. But in another study, it showed that strangers lied three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other.
在某段時間,研究顯示,你可能被誆 在任何地點,次數起碼10次至200次。 當然,多數是無傷大雅的謊言。 但在另一個研究指出, 陌生人撒謊三次, 在彼此見面的初始10分鐘內。
(Laughter)
(笑)
Now when we first hear this data, we recoil. We can't believe how prevalent lying is. We're essentially against lying. But if you look more closely, the plot actually thickens. We lie more to strangers than we lie to coworkers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people. If you're an average married couple, you're going to lie to your spouse in one out of every 10 interactions. Now, you may think that's bad. If you're unmarried, that number drops to three.
我們初次得知這個數據,大為震驚。 不敢置信,說謊已蔚然成風。 本質上,我們是反對說謊。 但若你仔細瞧, 情節著實撲朔迷離。 我們對陌生人說的謊比對工作伙伴說的還多。 外向者說的謊言多於內向者。 男人談論自己時撒的謊是 談論他人時的八倍多。 女人說謊大多為了保護他人。 若你們是一對普通的已婚夫婦, 你會對你的配偶撒謊, 每十次的交流就有一次。 現在你也許認為那不好。 若你未婚,則數字掉至三次有一次。
Lying's complex. It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We're deeply ambivalent about the truth. We parse it out on an as-needed basis, sometimes for very good reasons, other times just because we don't understand the gaps in our lives. That's truth number two about lying. We're against lying, but we're covertly for it in ways that our society has sanctioned for centuries and centuries and centuries. It's as old as breathing. It's part of our culture, it's part of our history. Think Dante, Shakespeare, the Bible, News of the World.
說謊是複雜糾結的。 人們以之編造出我們每日生活、買賣交易的基本結構。 我們對於真相深感矛盾, 我們將其解讀成一種『需要基礎』, 有時理由十分充分, 其他時候只因我們不了解我們生活的溝渠。 那是關於說謊的真相二。 我們反對說謊, 但我們又暗渡陳倉, 以我們的社會讚許的方式 存在已有好幾個世紀。 如呼吸一般的久遠。 是我們文化的一部分;歷史的一部分。 想想但丁(Dante)、莎士比亞( Shakespeare)
(Laughter)
《聖經》(Bible)、《世界新聞報》(News of the World)。
Lying has evolutionary value to us as a species.
(笑)
Researchers have long known that the more intelligent the species, the larger the neocortex, the more likely it is to be deceptive. Now you might remember Koko. Does anybody remember Koko the gorilla who was taught sign language? Koko was taught to communicate via sign language. Here's Koko with her kitten. It's her cute little, fluffy pet kitten. Koko once blamed her pet kitten for ripping a sink out of the wall.
說謊對身為一物種的人類有演化的貢獻。 研究人員老早就已知 物種愈是聰明, 新皮質愈是大, 更可能難以捉摸。 你們也許記得Koko 。 有誰記得被教導手語的大猩猩Koko? Koko被教導以手語溝通。 這是Koko和牠的小貓。 牠的嬌小玲瓏、毛茸茸的寵物貓。 Koko有次責備小寵物貓
(Laughter)
把水槽從牆上給拆下來。
We're hardwired to become leaders of the pack. It's starts really, really early. How early? Well babies will fake a cry, pause, wait to see who's coming and then go right back to crying. One-year-olds learn concealment.
(笑) 我們生來即為群雄/賊之首, 這是真的真的很早就開始的行為。 有多早? 嗯,嬰兒假哭, 停一下,等著瞧誰會來搭理, 然後回頭繼續哭。 一歲學會隱瞞;
(Laughter)
(笑)
Two-year-olds bluff. Five-year-olds lie outright. They manipulate via flattery. Nine-year-olds, masters of the cover-up. By the time you enter college, you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions. By the time we enter this work world and we're breadwinners, we enter a world that is just cluttered with Spam, fake digital friends, partisan media, ingenious identity thieves, world-class Ponzi schemers, a deception epidemic -- in short, what one author calls a post-truth society. It's been very confusing for a long time now.
兩歲學會裝模作樣; 五歲撒謊不臉紅, 他們巧妙的運用花言巧語; 九歲,掩飾能手; 到了進大學前, 每五次和母親的交流中,有一次你會對她撒謊。 到了進職場、掙錢養家, 我們進入了一個世界,充斥著 垃圾郵件、虛假的數位朋友 政黨媒體、 神通廣大的身份盜賊、 世界級騙局陰謀者(Ponzi schemers) 、 一種欺騙流行病── 簡而言之,某位作家稱其為 後真相社會。 長久以來 一直令人困或不解。
What do you do? Well, there are steps we can take to navigate our way through the morass. Trained liespotters get to the truth 90 percent of the time. The rest of us, we're only 54 percent accurate. Why is it so easy to learn? There are good liars and bad liars. There are no real original liars. We all make the same mistakes. We all use the same techniques. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you two patterns of deception. And then we're going to look at the hot spots and see if we can find them ourselves. We're going to start with speech.
你能做什麼呢? 我們可以採取這些步驟 引領我們走出泥淖的明路。 受過訓的識破謊言者有百分之九十的時候,能獲得真相。 我們則只有54%的準確度。 為何容易學呢? 有擅長說謊的人和蹩腳的編謊者;沒有誰是真正的謊言原創者。 我們都犯同樣的錯誤;我們都使用同樣的伎倆。 那麼,我打算做什麼呢...... 我要讓你們看兩種欺騙的模式。 然後我們來檢視這些關鍵跡象(hot spots)並看看我們自己能否找出關鍵跡象。 我們先來看這段演說。 (影視)比爾‧克林頓:「我要你們聽我說。
(Video) Bill Clinton: I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never. And these allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
我要再次重申 我沒有和那女人, Lewinsky小姐發生性關係。 我從未教唆任何人說謊, 一次也沒有;從未。 這些是子虛烏有的指控。 我必須回到崗位為美國人民工作了。 謝謝。」
(Applause)
Pamela Meyer: Okay, what were the telltale signs? Well first we heard what's known as a non-contracted denial. Studies show that people who are overdetermined in their denial will resort to formal rather than informal language. We also heard distancing language: "that woman." We know that liars will unconsciously distance themselves from their subject, using language as their tool. Now if Bill Clinton had said, "Well, to tell you the truth ..." or Richard Nixon's favorite, "In all candor ..." he would have been a dead giveaway for any liespotter that knows that qualifying language, as it's called, qualifying language like that, further discredits the subject. Now if he had repeated the question in its entirety, or if he had peppered his account with a little too much detail -- and we're all really glad he didn't do that -- he would have further discredited himself.
Pamela Meyer:好,什麼是洩漏內情的訊號? 我們聽到所謂的非縮寫式的否認。 研究顯示,人們過度堅決否認 會採取正式的語言而不是非正式的語言。 我們也聽到了疏離語言:『那女人』。 我們知道說謊者會下意識地讓自己疏離 與自己相關的對象, 以語言作為他們的工具。 若比爾‧柯林頓說了:「嗯,說真的......」 或李察‧尼克森的最愛:「坦白說......」 他早會洩漏真相 給任何辨識謊言者,其明白 修飾語言,正如其名,像那類的修飾語言 敗壞對象的聲譽。 若言談中,他持續重覆問題 或者若他的描述格外交代細節── 我們十分欣然他沒那樣做── 他就會進一步的自毁聲譽/自取其辱。
Freud had it right. Freud said, look, there's much more to it than speech: "No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." And we all do it no matter how powerful you are. We all chatter with our fingertips. I'm going to show you Dominique Strauss-Kahn with Obama who's chattering with his fingertips.
佛洛伊德說的好。 佛洛伊德說:「瞧,有更多言詞外的蛛絲馬跡: 『凡人守不住袐密。 若其雙唇緘默,他的手指喋喋不休。』」 無論你是何方神聖,你也會這麼做。 我們都以手指在交談 我要讓你看看Dominique Strauss-Kahn(前IMF總裁)和歐巴馬 歐巴馬的指尖正嘮叨不停。
(Laughter)
(笑)
Now this brings us to our next pattern, which is body language. With body language, here's what you've got to do. You've really got to just throw your assumptions out the door. Let the science temper your knowledge a little bit. Because we think liars fidget all the time. Well guess what, they're known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying. We think liars won't look you in the eyes. Well guess what, they look you in the eyes a little too much just to compensate for that myth. We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity. But a trained liespotter can spot a fake smile a mile away. Can you all spot the fake smile here? You can consciously contract the muscles in your cheeks. But the real smile's in the eyes, the crow's feet of the eyes. They cannot be consciously contracted, especially if you overdid the Botox. Don't overdo the Botox; nobody will think you're honest.
這正是我們接著要探討的模式, 所謂『身體語言』。 對於『身體語言』,你必須這麼做: 請先將你的預設想法放置一旁。 讓科學稍稍更新你的知識。 因為我們認為說謊者往往焦躁不安 猜怎麼著! 據了解,當他們撒謊時,上半身是僵硬的。 我們認為說謊者不會看著你的雙眼。 你們知道嗎?!他們過度直視你的雙眼 只為讓謊言更具說服力。 我們認為熱情和微笑 傳達誠實和真誠。 但一個受過訓的識謊者 大老遠能認出虛情假意的微笑。 你們會辨識虛情假意的微笑嗎? 你能有意識的牽動 你臉部雙頰的肌肉。 但真正的笑肌在眼中,眼部的魚尾紋, 它們不會有意識地收縮, 特別是你過分施打肉毒桿菌(Botox)。
Now we're going to look at the hot spots. Can you tell what's happening in a conversation? Can you start to find the hot spots to see the discrepancies between someone's words and someone's actions? Now, I know it seems really obvious, but when you're having a conversation with someone you suspect of deception, attitude is by far the most overlooked but telling of indicators.
別過分施打肉毒桿菌,沒有人會認為你是誠實的。 現在我們來看看關鍵跡象(hot spots)。 你們能辨識出在對話中發生了什麼事嗎? 你能開始發現關鍵跡象、 找出差異之處, 從某人的言談或行動之中嗎? 我知道這顯而易見, 但當你與某個 你懷疑其行騙的人交談, 態度無疑是最常受忽視,但卻是顯著指標。
An honest person is going to be cooperative. They're going to show they're on your side. They're going to be enthusiastic. They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth. They're going to be willing to brainstorm, name suspects, provide details. They're going to say, "Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll that forged those checks." They're going to be infuriated if they sense they're wrongly accused throughout the entire course of the interview, not just in flashes; they'll be infuriated throughout the entire course of the interview. And if you ask someone honest what should happen to whomever did forge those checks, an honest person is much more likely to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.
誠實的人會協同合作。 他們會表明他們與你同在、 他們古道熱腸、 他們願意幫助你發現真象、 他們願意提出妙計、指出嫌疑犯、 提供細節。 他們會說:「嘿! 也許是那些在職人員偽造那些支票。」 若他們感受到不實指控,他們將勃然大怒 在整個面談的過程,不只是一怒作罷; 在整個面談的過程,他們會勃然大怒。 若你問某個誠實的人 該拿那偽造支票的人怎辦, 一個誠實的人更為可能 提議嚴厲而非寬大的懲治。
Now let's say you're having that exact same conversation with someone deceptive. That person may be withdrawn, look down, lower their voice, pause, be kind of herky-jerky. Ask a deceptive person to tell their story, they're going to pepper it with way too much detail in all kinds of irrelevant places. And then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order. And what a trained interrogator does is they come in and in very subtle ways over the course of several hours, they will ask that person to tell that story backwards, and then they'll watch them squirm, and track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells.
假如說你和某個欺騙者 有同樣的對話。 那人可能沈默寡言、 目光朝下、聲音壓低 停頓、有點反覆無常。 請某個欺騙者陳述事情 他們會加入過多繁瑣的細節 各式各樣且無關緊要。 而且他們的故事情節有嚴謹的發生時間先後。 一個受過訓練的訊問者的作法會是 他們神不知鬼不覺的進入 數個小時的面談過程, 他們會要求那人將故事倒著說 接著他們盯著那些人,令其侷促不安, 追問那些聽來欺騙意味濃厚的疑點。
Why do they do that? Well, we all do the same thing. We rehearse our words, but we rarely rehearse our gestures. We say "yes," we shake our heads "no." We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders. We commit terrible crimes, and we smile at the delight in getting away with it. Now, that smile is known in the trade as "duping delight."
為何他們如此做?我們都做相同的事。 我們排練要說的話, 但我們鮮少排演我們的姿態。 我們說『是』;我們搖頭說『不』。 我們說非常有說服力的故事;我們微微聳肩。 我們犯下可怕的罪行; 我們卻微笑著,一派輕鬆地脫身。 在這行,『微笑』之盛名為『欺騙之快感』
And we're going to see that in several videos moving forward, but we're going to start -- for those of you who don't know him, this is presidential candidate John Edwards who shocked America by fathering a child out of wedlock. We're going to see him talk about getting a paternity test. See now if you can spot him saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no," slightly shrugging his shoulders.
我們會在接著的數支影片看到它。 但我們會開始......,由於你們中有人不認識他, 這是總統候選人約翰‧愛得華(John Edwards), 他未婚有一子震驚全美。 我們來看看他談親子鑑定。 看是否你們能發現 他說『是』卻又搖頭『不』; 稍微聳動其肩膀。
(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy to participate in one. I know that it's not possible that this child could be mine, because of the timing of events. So I know it's not possible. Happy to take a paternity test, and would love to see it happen.
(影視)約翰‧愛得華:「我會樂意參與測試。 我知道這孩子不可能會是我的, 因為這事件發生的時機。 我知道不可能。 樂意接受親子鑑定。
Interviewer: Are you going to do that soon? Is there somebody --
樂見其成。」 訪問者:「你會快快接受測試吧?有某人......」
JE: Well, I'm only one side. I'm only one side of the test. But I'm happy to participate in one.
約翰‧愛得華:「嗯,我是唯一的一方。我是測試的唯一一方。 但我高興參與測試。」
PM: Okay, those head shakes are much easier to spot once you know to look for them. There are going to be times when someone makes one expression while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash. Murderers are known to leak sadness. Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand, celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger. And we're not all going to become facial expression experts overnight here, but there's one I can teach you that's very dangerous and it's easy to learn, and that's the expression of contempt. Now with anger, you've got two people on an even playing field. It's still somewhat of a healthy relationship. But when anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed. It's associated with moral superiority. And for that reason, it's very, very hard to recover from. Here's what it looks like. It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in. It's the only asymmetrical expression. And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows -- and it doesn't always follow -- look the other way, go the other direction, reconsider the deal, say, "No thank you. I'm not coming up for just one more nightcap. Thank you."
潘蜜拉:好,這些搖動是極其容易辨識 一旦你明白要找出它們的話。 有好多次,好多時候 當某個人做一個表情時 同時掩飾另一個表情,只是在瞬間有一絲藏不住。 殺人犯為人所知會流露出悲傷。 你新合夥事業夥伴也許和你握手、 慶祝、在外共進晚餐, 然後流露出生氣的表情。 我們不會一夜成為面部表情專家, 但我可以教你們一招險招且易學, 那就輕視的表情。 有兩個人在一場勢均力敵的競賽,火藥味十足。 這種競爭仍然是種健康的關係。 但當生氣轉為蔑視, 一方就已被迫退場。 這與道德優越感有關。 正因如此,很難再恢復。 它看起來像這樣。 它的特點是一邊唇角 上揚內縮。 是唯一不對稱的表情。 這存有輕蔑的意味, 是不是有欺騙行為在後── 並不一定會如此── 看著其他的地方,走另一個方向, 重新思考提議, 說:「不,謝了。我不勝酒力,睡意來囉。謝謝你!」
Science has surfaced many, many more indicators. We know, for example, we know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit. They will take barrier objects and put them between themselves and the person that is interviewing them. They'll alter their vocal tone, often making their vocal tone much lower.
科學已揭開 許許多多又更多的指標。 我們知道,舉例來說, 我們知道說謊者會改變眨眼的速度, 雙腳朝著出口,隨時作好逃生準備。 他們會拿障礙物、 把障礙擺放在他們自己和面談的人之間。 他們會改變聲調, 往往是壓低聲調。
Now here's the deal. These behaviors are just behaviors. They're not proof of deception. They're red flags. We're human beings. We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long. They don't mean anything in and of themselves. But when you see clusters of them, that's your signal. Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport. Don't try to be like those folks on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows that pummel their subjects into submission. Don't be too aggressive, it doesn't work.
而這是對策。 這些舉止態度只是舉止態度, 這些不是欺騙的證明。 這些是警示紅旗。 我們是人類。 我們到處製造假象,成天裝腔作勢。 它們本身不具任何意思或意味著什麼。 但若把看這些行為串起來看,就成了個人發出的訊息。 注視、耹聽、刺探、問些犀厲的問題, 拋開舒適自在的交談模式, 改以好奇的交談模式,問更多的問題, 態度莊重,以親和力對待和你談話的人。 不要嘗試像影集《法網遊龍》(Law & Order)或其他電視劇裡的家屬那樣 使談話的對象屈打成招。 不要太挑釁,這樣沒效。
Now, we've talked a little bit about how to talk to someone who's lying and how to spot a lie. And as I promised, we're now going to look at what the truth looks like. But I'm going to show you two videos, two mothers -- one is lying, one is telling the truth. And these were surfaced by researcher David Matsumoto in California. And I think they're an excellent example of what the truth looks like.
我們已談了一些 關於如何與謊言假面交談 識破謊言。 如我開頭說的,我們要來看看真實的樣貌為何。 我打算讓你們看兩支錄影 兩個母親──一個在說謊,一個說真話。 這些是由加洲研究者 David Matsumoto 所公開的。 我認為它們是很棒的例子
This mother, Diane Downs, shot her kids at close range, drove them to the hospital while they bled all over the car, claimed a scraggy-haired stranger did it. And you'll see when you see the video, she can't even pretend to be an agonizing mother. What you want to look for here is an incredible discrepancy between horrific events that she describes and her very, very cool demeanor. And if you look closely, you'll see duping delight throughout this video.
呈現事實的樣貌。 這位媽媽Diane Downs 近距離射擊她的小孩, 開車送他們去醫院的同時 他們血流遍染車子, 聲稱一個頭髮散亂的陌生人幹的。 你們在片中會看到 她甚至無法假裝出悲痛萬分的為人母的樣子。 在這兒你要找出的是 一個極端的矛盾之處── 她描述的恐怖駭人的事故 和她極其冷酷的外表之不恰當。 若你仔細瞧,你會看到『欺騙之快感』慣穿整個錄影。
(Video) Diane Downs: At night when I close my eyes, I can see Christie reaching her hand out to me while I'm driving, and the blood just kept coming out of her mouth. And that -- maybe it'll fade too with time -- but I don't think so. That bothers me the most.
(影視)Diane Downs:「夜裡我闔眼 我依晰可見克利斯汀向我伸出她的手,在我開車時 而且血不斷的從她的嘴流出。 而一切──也許將隨時間而淡化── 但我可不這麼認為。 那令我十分困擾。」
PM: Now I'm going to show you a video
潘蜜拉:我要讓你們看另一支影片
of an actual grieving mother, Erin Runnion, confronting her daughter's murderer and torturer in court. Here you're going to see no false emotion, just the authentic expression of a mother's agony.
內容是一位傷心欲絶的母親Erin Runnion 在法庭上面對她女兒的謀殺和折磨。 在這兒你會看到絲毫不虛假的情緒 正是一位母親痛苦的真實表白。
(Video) Erin Runnion: I wrote this statement on the third anniversary of the night you took my baby, and you hurt her, and you crushed her, you terrified her until her heart stopped. And she fought, and I know she fought you. But I know she looked at you with those amazing brown eyes, and you still wanted to kill her. And I don't understand it, and I never will.
(影視)Erin Runnion :「在那夜的第三週年,我寫下這篇陳述 那夜你奪走我的寶貝; 你傷害她; 你毀滅她; 你讓她害怕的要命直到她心臟停止。 而她反抗,我知道她努力與你拼搏。 然而我知道她盯著你 以那雙驚愕的/漂亮的棕色眼睛盯著你, 而你仍下毒手。 我不理解, 我將永不。」
PM: Okay, there's no doubting the veracity of those emotions.
潘蜜拉:這些情緒的真實無庸致疑。
Now the technology around what the truth looks like is progressing on, the science of it. We know, for example, that we now have specialized eye trackers and infrared brain scans, MRI's that can decode the signals that our bodies send out when we're trying to be deceptive. And these technologies are going to be marketed to all of us as panaceas for deceit, and they will prove incredibly useful some day. But you've got to ask yourself in the meantime: Who do you want on your side of the meeting, someone who's trained in getting to the truth or some guy who's going to drag a 400-pound electroencephalogram through the door?
以實相為中心的科技 日新月異──真相的科學。 打個比方,我們知道 我們現在有了專業的眼球追蹤器和紅外線腦部掃瞄, 核磁共振造影,來解碼我們身體釋放的訊號, 當我們企圖欺騙時。 這些科技即將上市, 為解欺騙的萬靈丹, 終有一日它們會證明是出奇的有用。 但同時你必須自問: 你要誰在會面時,在你這一方 是受訓以獲得實相的某個人 或打算拖著400磅的電腦圖儀入門 的某人呢?
Liespotters rely on human tools. They know, as someone once said, "Character's who you are in the dark." And what's kind of interesting is that today, we have so little darkness. Our world is lit up 24 hours a day. It's transparent with blogs and social networks broadcasting the buzz of a whole new generation of people that have made a choice to live their lives in public. It's a much more noisy world. So one challenge we have is to remember, oversharing, that's not honesty. Our manic tweeting and texting can blind us to the fact that the subtleties of human decency -- character integrity -- that's still what matters, that's always what's going to matter. So in this much noisier world, it might make sense for us to be just a little bit more explicit about our moral code.
謊言辨識者依據『人性工具』作判斷。 他們知道,如某人曾說過, 「人格是在黑暗中的你。」 有點有趣的事是 今日我們有微乎其微的黑暗。 我們的世界一天24小時亮著, 它是透明的, 因部落格和社群網絡 傳播全新世代的人們的議論 他們已選擇公開他們的生活來過日子, 那是一個更為紛擾的世界。 我們有一項挑戰, 是牢記 過度分享,不是誠實。 狂熱的『特推』和發送短訊 會蒙蔽我們看清事實 人類道德禮儀的精妙之處──人格正直── 依舊是重要;永遠是受重視的。 所以在這個更為嘈雜的世界 對我們而言, 多一點更明確表明
When you combine the science of recognizing deception
我們的道德規範是合理的。
with the art of looking, listening, you exempt yourself from collaborating in a lie. You start up that path of being just a little bit more explicit, because you signal to everyone around you, you say, "Hey, my world, our world, it's going to be an honest one. My world is going to be one where truth is strengthened and falsehood is recognized and marginalized." And when you do that, the ground around you starts to shift just a little bit.
當你結合辨識詐欺的科學 和望聞的藝術, 你免除了自己成為謊言共犯。 你開始踏上了這條 只要更為直截了當、明確清楚的路徑, 因為你對週圍的人發出訊號, 你們說:「嘿!我的世界、我們的世界 將會是一個真誠的世界。 我的世界會是一個真相威力無敵, 而謊言無所遁形,天地不容。」 當你這樣做, 你周遭開始會稍稍改變立場。
And that's the truth. Thank you.
而這是事實,謝謝你們。
(Applause)
(掌聲)