Okay, now I don't want to alarm anybody in this room, but it's just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar.
Ne želim da alarmiram nikoga od prisutnih, ali sam upravo uočila
(Laughter)
da je osoba sa Vaše desne strane lažov.
Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. We're all liars. What I'm going to do today is I'm going to show you what the research says about why we're all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth seeking, and ultimately to trust building.
(Smeh) I osoba sa Vaše leve strane je takođe lažov. A i osoba koja sedi na Vašoj stolici je lažov. Mi smo svi lažovi. Ono što ću pokušati da objasnim danas jeste studija koja obrazlaže zašto smo svi lažovi, kako možete da uočite laž i zašto biste možda želeli dodatno da se potrudite kako biste od uočavanja laži došli do traženja istine, i na kraju do razvijanja poverenja.
Now, speaking of trust, ever since I wrote this book, "Liespotting," no one wants to meet me in person anymore, no, no, no, no, no. They say, "It's okay, we'll email you."
Kada pričamo o poverenju, od kako sam napisala knjigu "Liespotting", niko više ne želi lično da se vidi sa mnom, ne, ne, ne, ne. Kažu: "U redu je, poslaću ti elekronsko pismo."
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks. My husband's like, "Honey, deception? Maybe you could have focused on cooking. How about French cooking?"
Čak ne mogu ni na kafu u "Starbucks" da odem. Moj suprug kaže: "Dušo, prevara? Možda si mogla da se fokusiraš na kuvanje. Šta misliš o francuskoj kuhinji?"
So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha. Liespotters aren't those nitpicky kids, those kids in the back of the room that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha! Your eyebrow twitched. You flared your nostril. I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.' I know you're lying." No, liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. They use it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do everyday; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition, and that proposition is the following: Lying is a cooperative act. Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.
Pre nego što počnem, prvo ću vam objasniti svoj cilj, a to nije da vas naučim igri "Uhvatio sam te". Mala zanovetala iz poslednjih redova koja dovikuju "Uhvatio sam te, uhvatio sam te! Pomerila ti se obrva Proširila ti se nozdrva. Pratim emisiju "Laži me." Znam da lažeš!" - nisu suština uočavanja laži. Nikako, ljudi koji su trenirani da uoče laž su naučno obrazovani. Oni koriste to umeće kako bi došli do istine, i rade ono što stasale vođe čine svakog dana; vode teške razgovore sa teškim ljudima, ponekada u veoma teškim vremenima. Započinju taj posao prihvatajući jednu osnovnu pretpostavku, zasnovanu na ideji da je laganje uzajamni čin. Ukoliko razmislite o tome, uočićete da laž sama po sebi nema značajnost. Moć laganja se pojavljuje u momentu kada neko pristane da veruje u laž.
So I know it may sound like tough love, but look, if at some point you got lied to, it's because you agreed to get lied to. Truth number one about lying: Lying's a cooperative act. Now not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret. We say, "Nice song." "Honey, you don't look fat in that, no." Or we say, favorite of the digiratti, "You know, I just fished that email out of my Spam folder. So sorry."
Znam da ovo može da zvuči kao gruba ljubav, ali, ukoliko ste nekada bili slagani, to je usled toga što ste pristali da vas neko laže. Prva istina koja karakteriše laganje: za laganje je potrebno dvoje. Nisu sve laži štetne. Ponekada iz društveno opravdanih razloga svojevoljno pristajemo na prevaru, možda kako bismo sačuvali tajnu, koja treba da ostane tajna. Kažemo: "Lepa pesma." Dušo, ne izgledaš debelo u tome. Ili, moja omiljena u informacionim tehnologijama, "Znaš, upravo sam naleteo na tvoje elektronsko pismo u folderu za neželjenu poštu. Izvini."
But there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception. And that can have dramatic costs for us. Last year saw 997 billion dollars in corporate fraud alone in the United States. That's an eyelash under a trillion dollars. That's seven percent of revenues. Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the case of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country, they can compromise our security, they can undermine democracy, they can cause the deaths of those that defend us.
Ali isto tako nekada ne pristajemo da budemo deo prevare. To može imati dramatične posledice po nas. Prošle godine smo u Sjedinjenim Američkim Državama doživeli pljačku od 997 milijardi dolara od strane velikih kompanija. To je samo malo manje od trilion dolara. To je 7% od ukupnih javnih prihoda. Prevare mogu koštati bilione. Pomislite na Enron, Madofa, kreditnu krizu. Laži dvostrukih špijuna i izdajnika kao što su Robert Hansen ili Aldrih Ejms, mogu izdati našu zemlju, mogu ugroziti našu sigurnost, mogu uništiti demokratiju. mogu ubiti one koji nas štite.
Deception is actually serious business. This con man, Henry Oberlander, he was such an effective con man, British authorities say he could have undermined the entire banking system of the Western world. And you can't find this guy on Google; you can't find him anywhere. He was interviewed once, and he said the following. He said, "Look, I've got one rule." And this was Henry's rule, he said, "Look, everyone is willing to give you something. They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for." And that's the crux of it. If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know, what is it that you're hungry for?
Prevara je u principu ozbiljan posao. Ovaj prevarant, Henri Oberlander, je bio toliko uspešan prevarant da britanske vlasti tvrde da je mogao da uzdrma celokupan bankarski sistem zapadnog sveta. Ne možete da pronađete ovog tipa nigde, ni na Googlu. Postoji jedan njegov intervju kada je rekao sledeće. Rekao je. "Gledajte, ja imam jedno pravilo." Ovo je Henrijevo pravilo. Rekao je: "Gledajte, svako je raspoložen da vam pruži nešto. Raspoloženi su da vam daju nešto u zamenu za ono za čim žude." To je srž laganja. Ukoliko ne želite da budete prevareni, tada morate znati šta je ono za čim žudite.
And we all kind of hate to admit it. We wish we were better husbands, better wives, smarter, more powerful, taller, richer -- the list goes on. Lying is an attempt to bridge that gap, to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be, with what we're really like. And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps in our lives with lies.
Nama je zaista teško to da priznamo. Želeleli bismo da budemo bolji muževi, bolje supruge, pametniji, moćniji, viši, bogatiji, nema kraja toj listi. Laganje je pokušaj da premostimo taj jaz, da povežemo naše želje i fantazije o tome šta želimo da budemo, šta želimo da možemo da postanemo, i onoga što zaista jesmo. Ah, zaista smo spremni da te praznine u našim životima popunimo lažima.
On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times. Now granted, many of those are white lies. But in another study, it showed that strangers lied three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other.
Studije pokazuju da bilo kog dana možete biti slagani između 10 i 200 puta. Naravno, u većini slučajeva su to bele laži. Neka druga studija je pokazala da nepoznate osobe slažu tri puta u toku prvih 10 minuta poznanstva.
(Laughter)
(smeh)
Now when we first hear this data, we recoil. We can't believe how prevalent lying is. We're essentially against lying. But if you look more closely, the plot actually thickens. We lie more to strangers than we lie to coworkers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people. If you're an average married couple, you're going to lie to your spouse in one out of every 10 interactions. Now, you may think that's bad. If you're unmarried, that number drops to three.
Mi se zamislimo kada po prvi put čujemo ove podatke. Ne možemo da poverujemo koliko je zastupljeno laganje. Mi smo u principu protiv laganja. Ukoliko to dublje izanalizirate, situacija postaje sve komplikovanija. Više lažemo slučajne prolaznike od naših kolega. Ekstrovertni ljudi lažu više od introvertnih. Muškarci lažu 8 puta više o sebi nego o drugim ljudima. Žene lažu da bi zaštitile druge ljude. Ukoliko ste u braku, slagaćete svog bračnog para u jednom od 10 razgovora. Možda mislite da je to loše. Ukoliko niste u braku, lažete u 30% razgovora.
Lying's complex. It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We're deeply ambivalent about the truth. We parse it out on an as-needed basis, sometimes for very good reasons, other times just because we don't understand the gaps in our lives. That's truth number two about lying. We're against lying, but we're covertly for it in ways that our society has sanctioned for centuries and centuries and centuries. It's as old as breathing. It's part of our culture, it's part of our history. Think Dante, Shakespeare, the Bible, News of the World.
Laganje je kompleksan fenomen. Utkano je u način funkcionisanja naše svakodnevice i poslovanja. Imamo poprilično kontradiktorne misli o istini. Pažljivo je analiziramo onda kada nam je to potrebno, ponekada iz validnih razloga, a u nekim drugim slučajevima samo zato što ne razumemo rascepe u našim životima. To je najveća istina o laganju. Mi smo protiv laganja, ali nekako tajno ipak to prihvatamo na načine koji su vekovima bili sakcionisani od strane društva. Staro je koliko i disanje. To je deo naše kulture i naše istorije. Setite se Dantea, Šekspira,
(Laughter)
Biblije, Vesti Sveta.
Lying has evolutionary value to us as a species.
(smeh)
Researchers have long known that the more intelligent the species, the larger the neocortex, the more likely it is to be deceptive. Now you might remember Koko. Does anybody remember Koko the gorilla who was taught sign language? Koko was taught to communicate via sign language. Here's Koko with her kitten. It's her cute little, fluffy pet kitten. Koko once blamed her pet kitten for ripping a sink out of the wall.
Za nas kao vrstu, laganje ima evolutivni značaj. Istraživači već dugo znaju da što su vrste inteligentnije, njihov neokorteks je veći, i veća je verovatnoća da budu prevaranti. Možda se sećate Koko. Da li se iko seća gorile Koko koja je naučila govor simbola? Koko je naučena da komunicira jezikom simbola. Ovo je njeno mače -- To je njeno slatko, malo, mekano mačence. Koko je jednom optužila mače
(Laughter)
da je iščupalo lavabo iz zida.
We're hardwired to become leaders of the pack. It's starts really, really early. How early? Well babies will fake a cry, pause, wait to see who's coming and then go right back to crying. One-year-olds learn concealment.
(smeh) U našim genima je da postanemo vođe čopora. To počinje veoma, veoma rano. Koliko rano? Bebe simuliraju plakanje, naprave pauzu i sačekaju da vide rezultat i ponovo se rasplaču. Nakon prve godine naučimo se prikrivanju.
(Laughter)
(smeh)
Two-year-olds bluff. Five-year-olds lie outright. They manipulate via flattery. Nine-year-olds, masters of the cover-up. By the time you enter college, you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions. By the time we enter this work world and we're breadwinners, we enter a world that is just cluttered with Spam, fake digital friends, partisan media, ingenious identity thieves, world-class Ponzi schemers, a deception epidemic -- in short, what one author calls a post-truth society. It's been very confusing for a long time now.
Dvogodišnjaci blefiraju. Petogodišnjaci otvoreno lažu. Koriste umiljavanje kako bi manipulisali nama. Devetogodišnjaci su majstori prikrivanja činjenica. Kada upišete studije vi ste na stadijumu kada svoju majku slažete u jednom od pet razgovora. Kada se zaposlimo i zarađujemo novac kojim izdržavamo familiju, nađemo se u pomalo konfuznom svetu punom neželjenih poruka, lažnim virtualnim prijateljima, politički orijentisanim medijima, naprednim kradljivcima identiteta, prvoklasnim tvorcima piramidalnih shema, rečju, epidemijom prevara -- ili ako sumiramo sve to, jedan autor zove sve ovo društvo "post-istine". Sve je to već veoma zbunjujuće već jako dugo.
What do you do? Well, there are steps we can take to navigate our way through the morass. Trained liespotters get to the truth 90 percent of the time. The rest of us, we're only 54 percent accurate. Why is it so easy to learn? There are good liars and bad liars. There are no real original liars. We all make the same mistakes. We all use the same techniques. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you two patterns of deception. And then we're going to look at the hot spots and see if we can find them ourselves. We're going to start with speech.
Šta treba da uradite? Postoje metode koje možemo primeniti kako bismo uspešno vodili svoj život u takvom jednom blatu. Stručnjaci uspevaju da dođu do istine u 90% slučajeva. Mi obični smrtnici, uspevamo u 54% slučajeva. Zašto je to tako lako naučiti? Postoje dobri i loši lažovi. Ne postoje pravi, originalni lažovi. Svi pravimo iste greške. Svi koristimo iste tehnike. Sada ću vam pokazati dva tipična šablona prevare. Potom ćemo uočiti glavne momente i pokušaćemo sami da ih pronađemo. Počećemo sa jednim govorom. (Video) Bil Klinton: Želim da me saslušate.
(Video) Bill Clinton: I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never. And these allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
Ponoviću ovo. Nisam imao seksualni odnos sa tom ženom, gospođicom Levinski. Nikome nikada nisam naredio da laže, ni jednom, nikada. Sve te optužbe su lažne. Sada treba da se vratim svom radu za američki narod. Hvala vam.
(Applause)
Pamela Meyer: Okay, what were the telltale signs? Well first we heard what's known as a non-contracted denial. Studies show that people who are overdetermined in their denial will resort to formal rather than informal language. We also heard distancing language: "that woman." We know that liars will unconsciously distance themselves from their subject, using language as their tool. Now if Bill Clinton had said, "Well, to tell you the truth ..." or Richard Nixon's favorite, "In all candor ..." he would have been a dead giveaway for any liespotter that knows that qualifying language, as it's called, qualifying language like that, further discredits the subject. Now if he had repeated the question in its entirety, or if he had peppered his account with a little too much detail -- and we're all really glad he didn't do that -- he would have further discredited himself.
Pamela Mejer: Okej, gde su ovde izdajnički signali? Mogli smo prvo čuti nešto što se zove bezuslovno poricanje. Studije pokazuju da će se ljudi koji su zaista usredsređeni na poricanje istine koristiti pre oficijalnim, a ne neformalnim govorom. Uočili smo takođe i fraze kao što su "ta žena". Znamo da će se lažovi podsvesno distancirati od svojih subjekata koristeći jezik kao svoje oruđe. Sada, da je Bil Klinoton rekao: "Pa, iskreno govoreći...." ili omiljeni izraz Ričarada Niksona: "Poptuno iskreno..." potpuno bi razotkrio sebe jer svako ko je treniran da uoči laž zna da alarmirajući način govora, kako se stručno naziva, samo uspešnije diskredituje osobu. Da smo doslovce ponovili pitanje, ili da je on začinio svoju priču sa previše detalja a drago nam je da nije to uradio on bi još više diskreditovao sebe.
Freud had it right. Freud said, look, there's much more to it than speech: "No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." And we all do it no matter how powerful you are. We all chatter with our fingertips. I'm going to show you Dominique Strauss-Kahn with Obama who's chattering with his fingertips.
Frojd je to dobro shvatio. Frojd je rekao da tu postoji mnogo više od samog govora "Nijedan čovek ne može da sačuva tajnu. Ukoliko su mu usne zalivene, onda blebeće svojim vrhovima prstiju." Svi mi to radimo bez obzira koliko smo moćni. Svi se mi odajemo različitim pokretima. Pokazaću vam susret Dominik Štraus-Kana i Obame koji se prosto oktrio govorom svojih vrhova prstiju.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Now this brings us to our next pattern, which is body language. With body language, here's what you've got to do. You've really got to just throw your assumptions out the door. Let the science temper your knowledge a little bit. Because we think liars fidget all the time. Well guess what, they're known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying. We think liars won't look you in the eyes. Well guess what, they look you in the eyes a little too much just to compensate for that myth. We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity. But a trained liespotter can spot a fake smile a mile away. Can you all spot the fake smile here? You can consciously contract the muscles in your cheeks. But the real smile's in the eyes, the crow's feet of the eyes. They cannot be consciously contracted, especially if you overdid the Botox. Don't overdo the Botox; nobody will think you're honest.
Ovo nas dovodi do našeg sledećeg šablona, a to je govor tela. Ovako treba da shvatite govor tela. Treba da se oslobodite svih predrasuda koje imate. Dozvolite nauci da produbi malo vaše znanje. Mi mislimo da lažovi deluju uznemireno sve vreme. E pa poznato je da oni prosto ukoče gornji deo tela dok lažu. Mislimo da nas lažovi neće gledati pravo u oči. E pa, oni nas ustvari čak i previše gledaju pravo u oči kako bi neutralisali taj mit. Mislimo da toplina i osmeh stoje iza poštenja, iskrenosti. Iskusni poznavalac signala laganja može na kilometar uočiti lažan osmeh. Da li svi vi možete da uočite lažan osmeh ovde? Možemo svesno grčiti mišiće obraza. Ali pravi osmeh je u očima. Ne možemo svesno kontrahovati mišiće očiju, a naročito ne ukoliko ste preterali sa botoksom.
Now we're going to look at the hot spots. Can you tell what's happening in a conversation? Can you start to find the hot spots to see the discrepancies between someone's words and someone's actions? Now, I know it seems really obvious, but when you're having a conversation with someone you suspect of deception, attitude is by far the most overlooked but telling of indicators.
Ne preterujte sa botoksom, niko neće poverovati da ste iskreni. Sada ćemo analizirati najvažnije pokazatelje. Da li možete da razlučite šta se dešava u ovom razgovoru? Da li ste u stanju da uočite glavne pokazatelje protivurečnosti između nečijih reči i dela? Znam da deluje očigledno, ali u razgovoru sa osobom za koju sumnjate da vas vara, sam stav nam govori mnogo više o laganju i istini.
An honest person is going to be cooperative. They're going to show they're on your side. They're going to be enthusiastic. They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth. They're going to be willing to brainstorm, name suspects, provide details. They're going to say, "Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll that forged those checks." They're going to be infuriated if they sense they're wrongly accused throughout the entire course of the interview, not just in flashes; they'll be infuriated throughout the entire course of the interview. And if you ask someone honest what should happen to whomever did forge those checks, an honest person is much more likely to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.
Poštena osoba će biti otvorena za saradnju. Pokazaće vam da su na vašoj strani. Biće entuzijastični. Biće raspoloženi da vam pomognu da dođete do istine. Biće raspoloženi da razmene ideje, da imenuje sumnjive osobe, da vam kažu detalje. Rećiće vam: "Slušaj, možda je tip iz platne službe lažirao čekove." Biće jako besni ukoliko osete da su greškom osuđeni tokom celog intervjua, a ne samo s vremena na vreme; biće besni sve vreme tokom intervjua. Ukoliko upitate poštenu osobu šta bi trebalo da se desi onome ko je falsifikovao čekove, mnogo je verovatnije da će poštena osoba predložiti strogu, a ne blagu kaznu.
Now let's say you're having that exact same conversation with someone deceptive. That person may be withdrawn, look down, lower their voice, pause, be kind of herky-jerky. Ask a deceptive person to tell their story, they're going to pepper it with way too much detail in all kinds of irrelevant places. And then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order. And what a trained interrogator does is they come in and in very subtle ways over the course of several hours, they will ask that person to tell that story backwards, and then they'll watch them squirm, and track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells.
Zamislimo sada da vodite apsolutno isti razgovor sa nekim ko laže. Osoba može biti nekomunikativna, tiha, sklanjaće pogled, pričaće tihim glasom, praviće česte pauze, delovaće malo sumanuto. Ukoliko Vam osoba koja nešto skriva priča priču začiniće je nepotrebnim detaljima koji su potpuno nevažni. Ispričaće svoju priču u tačno određenom hronološkom redosledu. Iskusni ispitivač koristi veoma suptilne metode u toku razgovora koji traje nekoliko sati. On zamoli osobu da ispriča istu priču od njenog kraja, a onda uoči trenutak kada se neko neugodno meškolji, i analizira koja su to pitanja koja dovode do najneprijatnijih stanja kod ispitanika.
Why do they do that? Well, we all do the same thing. We rehearse our words, but we rarely rehearse our gestures. We say "yes," we shake our heads "no." We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders. We commit terrible crimes, and we smile at the delight in getting away with it. Now, that smile is known in the trade as "duping delight."
Zašto to uopšte rade? Pa, mi svi radimo iste stvari. Mi vežbamo svoju priču, ali retko uvežbavamo našu gestikulaciju. Kažemo "da", a pokretima glave govorimo "ne". Dok pričamo veoma ubedljive priče, lagano ih pak negiramo pokretima ramena. Počinimo užasne zločine, ali se naslađujemo spoznajom da smo izmakli kažnjavanju. Taj osmeh je poznat u sferi analize laži kao "podmukli osmeh".
And we're going to see that in several videos moving forward, but we're going to start -- for those of you who don't know him, this is presidential candidate John Edwards who shocked America by fathering a child out of wedlock. We're going to see him talk about getting a paternity test. See now if you can spot him saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no," slightly shrugging his shoulders.
Uočićemo taj fenomen u nekoliko video snimaka kasnije, a počećemo analizu sa predsedničkim kandidatom Džonom Edvardsom, ukoliko ne znate ko je ova osoba -- on je zapanjio Ameriku svojim vanbračnim detetom. Pogledaćemo njegov intervju u kojem priča o proveri očinstva. Potrudite se da uočite momente kada on kaže "da", a pokretima glave kaže "ne", i neprimetno gestikulira ramenima.
(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy to participate in one. I know that it's not possible that this child could be mine, because of the timing of events. So I know it's not possible. Happy to take a paternity test, and would love to see it happen.
(Video) Džon Edvars: Bio bih srećan da uradim test. Znam da je nemoguće da je to dete moje, jer se prosto vreme događaja ne podudara. Tako da znam da je nemoguće. Bio bih presrećan da odradimo test očinstva,
Interviewer: Are you going to do that soon? Is there somebody --
voleo bih da vidim da se to desi. Ispitivač: Da li ćete to učiniti uskoro? Da li postoji neko...
JE: Well, I'm only one side. I'm only one side of the test. But I'm happy to participate in one.
DŽE: Pa, ja činim samo jednu stranu jednačine. Ja sam samo jedan deo testa. Ali bih bio srećan da uradim taj test.
PM: Okay, those head shakes are much easier to spot once you know to look for them. There are going to be times when someone makes one expression while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash. Murderers are known to leak sadness. Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand, celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger. And we're not all going to become facial expression experts overnight here, but there's one I can teach you that's very dangerous and it's easy to learn, and that's the expression of contempt. Now with anger, you've got two people on an even playing field. It's still somewhat of a healthy relationship. But when anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed. It's associated with moral superiority. And for that reason, it's very, very hard to recover from. Here's what it looks like. It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in. It's the only asymmetrical expression. And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows -- and it doesn't always follow -- look the other way, go the other direction, reconsider the deal, say, "No thank you. I'm not coming up for just one more nightcap. Thank you."
PM: U redu, pokreti glavom su mnogo uočljiviji kada znate na šta treba da obratite pažnju. U nekim situacijama osobe imaju određenu ekspresiju kojom prikrivaju drugu, koja ipak u jednom momentu ispliva na površinu. Poznato je da ubice pokazuju znake tugovanja. Vaš novi poslovni prijatelj se može rukovati sa vama, slaviti i izlaziti na večere sa vama, a onda odjednom možete uočiti bes kod njega. Nećemo mi ovde preko noći postati eksperti u razumevanju facijalne ekspresije, ali mogu vas naučiti da prepoznate jedan jako opasan znak, a lako ga je uočiti, to je ekspresija nipodaštavanja, prezira. U slučaju osećanja besa i dalje govorimo o ravnopravnim odnosima. To i dalje podseća na zdrav odnos. Kada se bes pretvori u prezir, vi ste u potpunosti otpisani. To je povezano sa moralnom superiornošću. Zato je jako teško oporaviti se od toga. Baš ovako izgleda. Karakterisan je podignutim i uvučenim uglom usne. To je jedini asimetrični facijalni izraz. U slučaju prezira, bez obzira da li tu sledi neka prevera, a ne dešava se svaki put prevara, bežite od tog dogovora, nađite druge mogućnosti, porazmilite o ugovorenom dogovoru, recite: "Ne, hvala. Ne želim da dođem na piće. Hvala vam."
Science has surfaced many, many more indicators. We know, for example, we know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit. They will take barrier objects and put them between themselves and the person that is interviewing them. They'll alter their vocal tone, often making their vocal tone much lower.
Nauka je došla do još mnogo,mnogo indikatora. Znamo, na primer, da lažovi menjaju učestalost treptanja, usmeravaju svoja stopala ka izlazu. Postaviće različite stvari kao branik između sebe i osobe koja ih ispituje. Oni menjaju boju svog glasa, i često govore mnogo nižim tonalitetom.
Now here's the deal. These behaviors are just behaviors. They're not proof of deception. They're red flags. We're human beings. We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long. They don't mean anything in and of themselves. But when you see clusters of them, that's your signal. Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport. Don't try to be like those folks on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows that pummel their subjects into submission. Don't be too aggressive, it doesn't work.
U ovome je caka. Ovo je zaista samo ponašanje, putokaz. To nikako nije dokaz prevare. To su znaci uzbune. Svi smo mi ljudska bića. Mi sami u toku dana napravimo nekoliko gestikulacija koje aludiraju na prevaru. Sami po sebi, ti signali ne znače ništa. Ali ukoliko uočite niz povezanih indikatora prevare, to je vaš pravi signal. Gledajte, slušajte, isprobavajte, postavljajte teška pitanja, napustite komfornu zonu sigurnosti, budite radoznali, postavljajte više pitanja, pokažite malo poštovanja, pokažite razumevanje prema osobi sa kojom razgovarate. Ne pokušavajte da budete kao ekipa sa TV serije "Law&Order" i drugih serija koji primenom brutalne sile dovedu subjekte do potčinjenosti. Agresivnost nije dobar recept u ovim slučajevima.
Now, we've talked a little bit about how to talk to someone who's lying and how to spot a lie. And as I promised, we're now going to look at what the truth looks like. But I'm going to show you two videos, two mothers -- one is lying, one is telling the truth. And these were surfaced by researcher David Matsumoto in California. And I think they're an excellent example of what the truth looks like.
Malo smo pričali danas o tome kako pričati sa nekim ko laže i kako je moguće uočiti laž. Obećala sam vam takođe da ćemo pričati i o istini, kako istina izgleda. Pokazaću vam dva snimka, radi se o dve majke, jedna laže, jedna govori isitnu. Pronašao ih je istraživač Dejvid Matsumoto u Kaliforniji. Mislim da ovi snimci predstavljaju
This mother, Diane Downs, shot her kids at close range, drove them to the hospital while they bled all over the car, claimed a scraggy-haired stranger did it. And you'll see when you see the video, she can't even pretend to be an agonizing mother. What you want to look for here is an incredible discrepancy between horrific events that she describes and her very, very cool demeanor. And if you look closely, you'll see duping delight throughout this video.
odličan primer toga kako istina izgleda. Ova majka, Dajen Dons, je upucala sa malog rastojanja svoju decu, odvezla ih do bolnice, dok su oni krvarili u kolima, a ona je trvdila da ih je ubio stranac neugledne kose. Uvidećete kada pogledate snimak, da ona čak i ne uspeva da odglumi majku u potpunoj agoniji. Ono što želite da uočite ovde je neverovatan rascep između užasnih događaja koje ona opisuje i njenog veoma pribranog stava. Ukoliko je pažljivo analizirate, uočićete taj podmukli osmeh tokom celog snimka.
(Video) Diane Downs: At night when I close my eyes, I can see Christie reaching her hand out to me while I'm driving, and the blood just kept coming out of her mouth. And that -- maybe it'll fade too with time -- but I don't think so. That bothers me the most.
(Snimak) Dajen Dons: Kada zatvorim oči noću, vidim samo svoju Kristi kako pruža ruku ka meni dok vozim, i krv koja je konstantno lila iz njenih usta. Možda će to nestati sa vremenom, ali sumnjam u to. To me najviše uznemirava.
PM: Now I'm going to show you a video
PM: Sada ću vam pokazati snimak
of an actual grieving mother, Erin Runnion, confronting her daughter's murderer and torturer in court. Here you're going to see no false emotion, just the authentic expression of a mother's agony.
zaista ožalošćene majke, Erin Runion, koja se na sudu obraća ubici i mučitelju svoje ćerke. Uočićete ovde prave emocije, pravi, autentični izraz agonije majke.
(Video) Erin Runnion: I wrote this statement on the third anniversary of the night you took my baby, and you hurt her, and you crushed her, you terrified her until her heart stopped. And she fought, and I know she fought you. But I know she looked at you with those amazing brown eyes, and you still wanted to kill her. And I don't understand it, and I never will.
(Video) Erin Runion: Napisala sam ovu izjavu na dan treće godišnjice dana kada si oteo moju devojčicu, i povredio je, i uništio je, i prestravljivao si je do momenta kada je njeno srce prestalo da radi. Ona se borila protive tebe, znam da se borila. Znam da te je gledala svojim divnim smeđim očima, a ti si i dalje želeo da je ubiješ. Ja to ne razumem, i nikada neću razumeti.
PM: Okay, there's no doubting the veracity of those emotions.
PM: U redu, ovde ne postoji sumnja o verodostojnosti emocija.
Now the technology around what the truth looks like is progressing on, the science of it. We know, for example, that we now have specialized eye trackers and infrared brain scans, MRI's that can decode the signals that our bodies send out when we're trying to be deceptive. And these technologies are going to be marketed to all of us as panaceas for deceit, and they will prove incredibly useful some day. But you've got to ask yourself in the meantime: Who do you want on your side of the meeting, someone who's trained in getting to the truth or some guy who's going to drag a 400-pound electroencephalogram through the door?
Tehnologija i nauka koja se bavi ispitavanjem istine je u fazi procvata. Znamo da danas imamo specijalizovane uređaje za praćenje očiju kao i infracrvene skenere mozga, magnenta rezonanca može da pročita signale koje naše telo šalje kada pokušavamo da lažemo. Prezentovaće nam ove tehnologije kao ključ za uočavanje prevare, i sigurno će se jednog dana pokazati kao veoma korisni uređaji. Ali se vi u međuvremenu morate zapitati: Koga želite da imate na svojoj strani na nekom sastanku, nekoga ko je treniran da nađe put do istine ili nekog tipa koji nosi sa sobom elekroencefalogram koji je težak 180kg?
Liespotters rely on human tools. They know, as someone once said, "Character's who you are in the dark." And what's kind of interesting is that today, we have so little darkness. Our world is lit up 24 hours a day. It's transparent with blogs and social networks broadcasting the buzz of a whole new generation of people that have made a choice to live their lives in public. It's a much more noisy world. So one challenge we have is to remember, oversharing, that's not honesty. Our manic tweeting and texting can blind us to the fact that the subtleties of human decency -- character integrity -- that's still what matters, that's always what's going to matter. So in this much noisier world, it might make sense for us to be just a little bit more explicit about our moral code.
Ljudi koji su trenirani da uoče laži se oslanjaju na ljudsko oruđe. Oni znaju, kako to neko jednom reče, u tami se pravo lice iskaže. Interesantno je baš to da u današnjem svetu sve postaje transparentno. Naš svet je pod budnim okom 24 sata dnevno. Potpuno je transparentan, sa svim blogovima i socijalnim mrežama koje emituju stavove čitave nove generacije ljudi koji su doneli odluku da žive javnim životom. Svet je mnogo bučniji. Izazov koji stoji pred nama je da zapamtimo da preterana otvorenost nije iskrenost. Naše manično slanje poruka pomoću raznih medijuma nas može učiniti slepim za uočavanje finih nijansi naše pristojnosti -- karaktera, integriteta -- to je i dalje fenomen koji je relevantan i koji će uvek to biti. Tako da u ovom bučnijem svetu, ima smisla biti malo jasniji u priči o
When you combine the science of recognizing deception
moralnim standardima.
with the art of looking, listening, you exempt yourself from collaborating in a lie. You start up that path of being just a little bit more explicit, because you signal to everyone around you, you say, "Hey, my world, our world, it's going to be an honest one. My world is going to be one where truth is strengthened and falsehood is recognized and marginalized." And when you do that, the ground around you starts to shift just a little bit.
Ukoliko iskombinujete dostignuća nauke koja se bavi prepoznavanjem prevare sa veštinama posmatranja, slušanja, vi prosto ograđujete sebe od učestvovanja u laži. Vi pokrećete putanju na kojoj će ljudi biti malo otvoreniji, jer saljete signale svima oko vas koji govore: "Hej, moj svet, naš svet, će biti iskreni svet. Moj svet će biti svet koji poštuje istinu i svet u kojima su prevare prepoznate i marginalizovane." Kada to uradite, svet oko vas će se malo promeniti.
And that's the truth. Thank you.
To je istina. Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)