Okay, now I don't want to alarm anybody in this room, but it's just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar.
Gledajte, ne bih htjela nikoga ovdje uznemiriti, ali sam upravo primjetila
(Laughter)
da je osoba desno od vas lažljivac.
Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. We're all liars. What I'm going to do today is I'm going to show you what the research says about why we're all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth seeking, and ultimately to trust building.
(Smijeh) I osoba lijevo od vas je lažljivac. Kao i osoba koja sjedi na mjestu svakoga od vas. Svi smo mi lažljivci. I evo šta ću danas učiniti: predstaviti ću vam što istraživanja kažu o tome zašto smo svi mi lažljivci. kako možete naučiti prepoznavati lažljivce. i zašto biste mogli željeti da pođete i korak dalje te da sa prepoznavanja lažljivaca prijeđete na traganje za istinom, i konačno do izgradnje povjerenja.
Now, speaking of trust, ever since I wrote this book, "Liespotting," no one wants to meet me in person anymore, no, no, no, no, no. They say, "It's okay, we'll email you."
Kad smo već pomenuli povjerenje, otkad sam napisala ovu knjigu, "Prepoznavanje lažova" niko više ne želi sa mnom da se sretne uživo, ne, ne, ne. Svi kažu: "Važi, poslaćemo vam e-mail".
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks. My husband's like, "Honey, deception? Maybe you could have focused on cooking. How about French cooking?"
Niko neće sa mnom ni na kafu u Starbucks. Muž mi kaže: "Mila, laganje? Možda da si se bavila kuvanjem? Šta kažeš na francusku kuhinju?"
So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha. Liespotters aren't those nitpicky kids, those kids in the back of the room that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha! Your eyebrow twitched. You flared your nostril. I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.' I know you're lying." No, liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. They use it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do everyday; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition, and that proposition is the following: Lying is a cooperative act. Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.
Dakle, prije nego što počnem, evo šta ću učiniti objasniću vam šta mi je cilj, a cilj mi nije da vas naučim da igrate igru Gotcha! (Moj si!). Ljudi koji prepoznaju lažove nisu klinci cjepidlake, oni koji sjede na suprotnoj strani sobe i vrište "Moj si! Moj si!" Podigao si obrvu. Raširio si nozdrvu. Gledam onu televizijsku emisiju "Laži me". Znam da lažeš". Ne, ljudi koji prepoznaju lažove raspolažu naučnim saznanjima o tome kako da prepoznaju laganje. Koriste ga da bi došli do istine, i učine ono što zreli lideri svakodnevno čine; vode teške razgovore sa teškim ljudima, ponekad u veoma teška vremena. A na taj put kreću nakon što prihvate temeljnu pretpostavku a ta pretpostavka je sljedeća: Laganje je čin saradnje. Razmislite o tome, laž nema nikakvu moć ako se samo izgovori. Njena moć se počne da se pomalja kada neko drugi pristane da u tu laž povjeruje.
So I know it may sound like tough love, but look, if at some point you got lied to, it's because you agreed to get lied to. Truth number one about lying: Lying's a cooperative act. Now not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret. We say, "Nice song." "Honey, you don't look fat in that, no." Or we say, favorite of the digiratti, "You know, I just fished that email out of my Spam folder. So sorry."
Znam da bih mogla da vam zvučim kao strog roditelj, ali vidite, ako vas neko slaže, to je zato što ste pristali na to da vas lažu. Prva važna istina o laganju: laganje je čin saradnje. Nisu sve laži škodljive. Nekad svojevoljno učestvujemo u prevari da bismo sačuvali dostojanstvo u društvu, a možda i da bismo zatajili tajnu koja treba da ostane tajna. Reći ćemo: "Lijepa pjesma". "Ne, mila, ne izgledaš debela u tome". Ili, kako to već digitalna elita voli da kaže, "Gle, upravo sam tu poruku spasila iz pregrade za neželjenu poštu. Baš mi je žao".
But there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception. And that can have dramatic costs for us. Last year saw 997 billion dollars in corporate fraud alone in the United States. That's an eyelash under a trillion dollars. That's seven percent of revenues. Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the case of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country, they can compromise our security, they can undermine democracy, they can cause the deaths of those that defend us.
Ali ponekad i nevoljno učestvujemo u zavaravanju. I to nas može skupo stajati. Prošle godine su kompanije izgubile 997 milijardi dolara na prevarama, samo u Sjedinjenim Američkim Državama. A to je tek nešto malo manje od hiljade milijardi dolara. I to predstavlja sedam odsto naših prihoda. Prevare mogu koštati milijarde dolara. Sjetite se Enrona, Madoffa, krize hipotekarnih kredita. Ili dvostrukih agenata i izdajica, Kao što su Robert Hanssen ili Aldrich Ames, lažima se izdaje naža zemlja, one nam mogu ugroziti bezbjednost, narušiti nam demokratiju, uzrokovati smrt naših branitelja.
Deception is actually serious business. This con man, Henry Oberlander, he was such an effective con man, British authorities say he could have undermined the entire banking system of the Western world. And you can't find this guy on Google; you can't find him anywhere. He was interviewed once, and he said the following. He said, "Look, I've got one rule." And this was Henry's rule, he said, "Look, everyone is willing to give you something. They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for." And that's the crux of it. If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know, what is it that you're hungry for?
Prevara je zapravo ozbiljan posao. Ovaj prevarant, Henry Oberlander, Toliko je bio učinkovit da britanske vlasti tvrde da je mogao potkopati čitav bankarski sistem zapadnog svijeta. I ništa o njemu nećete naći na Googlu; nigdje ništa o njemu nećete naći. Jednom je intervjuisan, i evo šta je tada rekao. Rekao je: "Vidite, ja imam jedno pravilo". I to je bilo, kako je rekao, Henrijevo pravilo. "Pazite, svako je spreman nešto da vam da. Da vam da nešto u zamenu za ono za čim žudi". I to je ključna stvar. Ako ne želite da vas prevare, morate znati za čim žudite.
And we all kind of hate to admit it. We wish we were better husbands, better wives, smarter, more powerful, taller, richer -- the list goes on. Lying is an attempt to bridge that gap, to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be, with what we're really like. And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps in our lives with lies.
A to baš i ne volimo da priznamo. Želimo da budemo bolji muževi, bolje žene, pametniji, moćniji, viši, bogatiji -- i tako dalje. Laganjem pokušavamo da premostimo ovaj jaz, kako bismo povezali želje i maštarije o tome ko bi smo želeli da budemo, kakvi bismo želeli da da možemo biti, sa onim kakvi smo zaista. Uh, kako samo želimo te praznine u našim životima da ispunimo lažima.
On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times. Now granted, many of those are white lies. But in another study, it showed that strangers lied three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other.
Istraživanja pokazuju da vas dnevno slažu između 10 i 200 puta. Priznajem, mnoge od tih laži su bezazlene. Međutim, jedna druga studija, pokazala je da ljudi koji se ne poznaju lažu tri puta više u prvih deset minuta upoznavanja.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now when we first hear this data, we recoil. We can't believe how prevalent lying is. We're essentially against lying. But if you look more closely, the plot actually thickens. We lie more to strangers than we lie to coworkers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people. If you're an average married couple, you're going to lie to your spouse in one out of every 10 interactions. Now, you may think that's bad. If you're unmarried, that number drops to three.
Prenerazimo se kad prvi put čujemo ovaj podatak. Teško nam je da povjerujemo koliko je laž sveprisutna. U suštini, mi se protivimo laganju. Ali ako to pažljivije pogledamo, pokazaće se da je to zapravo složenije. Više lažemo ljudima koje ne poznajemo nego onima sa kojima radimo. Ekstrovertni ljudi lažu više od introvertnih. Muškarci osam puta više lažu o sebi nego što lažu druge ljude. Žene više lažu da bi zaštitile druge. Ako ste prosečan bračni par, lagaćete supružnika u jednoj od 10 interakcija. Mogli biste pomisliti da je to loše. Ako niste vjenčani, taj broj pada na tri.
Lying's complex. It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We're deeply ambivalent about the truth. We parse it out on an as-needed basis, sometimes for very good reasons, other times just because we don't understand the gaps in our lives. That's truth number two about lying. We're against lying, but we're covertly for it in ways that our society has sanctioned for centuries and centuries and centuries. It's as old as breathing. It's part of our culture, it's part of our history. Think Dante, Shakespeare, the Bible, News of the World.
Lagati je složeno Protkano nitima našeg svakodnoevnog i poslovnog života. Kad je riječ o istini, tu smo duboko podvojeni. Analiziramo je onda kada nam zatreba, nekad s veoma dobrim razlozima, a nekada, opet, prosto zato što ne razumijemo praznine u našim životima. I to je druga istinita činjenica o laganju. Protivimo se laganju, Ali smo, potajno, za laganje na načine koje je naše društvo sankcionisalo kroz vijekove, vijekove i vijekove. Staro je koliko i mi sami. Dio je naše kulture, dio je naše istorije. Sjetite se Dantea, Shakespearea,
(Laughter)
Biblije, tabloida News of the World.
Lying has evolutionary value to us as a species.
(Smijeh)
Researchers have long known that the more intelligent the species, the larger the neocortex, the more likely it is to be deceptive. Now you might remember Koko. Does anybody remember Koko the gorilla who was taught sign language? Koko was taught to communicate via sign language. Here's Koko with her kitten. It's her cute little, fluffy pet kitten. Koko once blamed her pet kitten for ripping a sink out of the wall.
Za nas kao vrstu, laganje ima evolutivni značaj. Istraživanja su davno pokazala da što je neka vrsta inteligentnija, što joj je veći neokorteks, to je sklonija laganju. Možda ćete se sjetiti Koko. Da li se iko od vas sjeća Koko, gorile koju su učili jezik znakova? Koko su, dakle, učili da komunicira jezikom znakova. Ovdje vidite Koko sa mačetom. Njeno malo, čupavo, mače. Koko je onomad svoje mače
(Laughter)
optužila da je iščupala česmu iz zida
We're hardwired to become leaders of the pack. It's starts really, really early. How early? Well babies will fake a cry, pause, wait to see who's coming and then go right back to crying. One-year-olds learn concealment.
(Smijeh) Težnja da postanemo predvodnici nam je urođena. I s tim počinjemo veoma, veoma rano. Koliko rano? Pa, bebe se pretvaraju da plaču, zastanu, sačekaju da vide ko će doći a onda nastave da plaču. Jednogodišnjaci nauče kao da nešto sakriju.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Two-year-olds bluff. Five-year-olds lie outright. They manipulate via flattery. Nine-year-olds, masters of the cover-up. By the time you enter college, you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions. By the time we enter this work world and we're breadwinners, we enter a world that is just cluttered with Spam, fake digital friends, partisan media, ingenious identity thieves, world-class Ponzi schemers, a deception epidemic -- in short, what one author calls a post-truth society. It's been very confusing for a long time now.
Dvogodišnjaci blefiraju. Petogodišnjaci vas gledaju u oči i lažu. Manipulišu laskanjem. Devetogodišnjaci su majstori u zataškavanju. Dok stasate za fakultet, lagaćete majku tokom jednog od pet razgovora. Kad stupimo u svijet zaposlenih i počnemo da zarađujemo svoj hljeb, naći ćemo se u gunguli od neželjenih poruka, lažnih digitalnih prijatelja, pristrasnih medija, ingenioznih kradljivaca identiteta, prevaranata kroz šeme piramidalne štednje svjetske klase epidemiju laganja -- ukratko, ono što je jedan autor nazvao društvom iščezle istine. I to nas zbunjuje već dugo.
What do you do? Well, there are steps we can take to navigate our way through the morass. Trained liespotters get to the truth 90 percent of the time. The rest of us, we're only 54 percent accurate. Why is it so easy to learn? There are good liars and bad liars. There are no real original liars. We all make the same mistakes. We all use the same techniques. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you two patterns of deception. And then we're going to look at the hot spots and see if we can find them ourselves. We're going to start with speech.
Šta činiti? Moguće je preduzeti neke korake koji vode iz ove kaljuge. Ljudi obučeni da prepoznaju lažove uspevaju u 90% slučajeva. Dok smo mi, ostali, uspješni u svega 54%. Kako to da je tako lako naučiti? Pa, ima dobrih i rđavih lažova. Lažovi nisu nikad zaista originalni. Svi pravimo griješimo u istim stvarima. Svi se služimo istim tehnikama. Stoga, evo šta ću učiniti. Uputiću vas u dva obrasca laganja. Zatim ćemo potražiti ključna mjesta i pokušati da ih prepoznamo. Počećemo govorom. (Video) Bill Clinton: Želim da me slušate.
(Video) Bill Clinton: I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never. And these allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
Ovo ću ponovo reći. Nisam imao seksualne odnose sa tom ženom, gospođicom Lewinsky. Nikada nikome nisam rekao da laže, ni jedan jedini put, nikada. Ove tvrdnje su lažne. A sad treba da se vratim poslu u službi američkog naroda. Hvala.
(Applause)
Pamela Meyer: Okay, what were the telltale signs? Well first we heard what's known as a non-contracted denial. Studies show that people who are overdetermined in their denial will resort to formal rather than informal language. We also heard distancing language: "that woman." We know that liars will unconsciously distance themselves from their subject, using language as their tool. Now if Bill Clinton had said, "Well, to tell you the truth ..." or Richard Nixon's favorite, "In all candor ..." he would have been a dead giveaway for any liespotter that knows that qualifying language, as it's called, qualifying language like that, further discredits the subject. Now if he had repeated the question in its entirety, or if he had peppered his account with a little too much detail -- and we're all really glad he didn't do that -- he would have further discredited himself.
Dobro, koji nam ga znaci ovdje odaju? Prvo, čuli smo ono što se uobičajeno zove poricanje punim oblicima. Studije pokazuju da oni koji djeluju previše uvjerljivo u poricanju pribjegavaju formalnom izražavanju radije nego neformalnom. Čuli smo ga i kako se izrazom "s tom ženom" distancira. Znamo da se lažovi nesvjesno distanciraju od predmeta laži služeći se jezikom kao alatkom. Ali, da je Bill Clinton rekao: "Pa, da vam pravo kažem...". ili, kako je to volio da kaže Richard Nixon: "U svoj iskrenosti..." smjesta bi se odao jer svako ko umije da prepozna lažova zna da pribjegavanje restrikcijama u jeziku, kako se to već zove, dodatno diskredituje subjekat. Da je ponovio čitavo pitanje, ili da je svoju verziju događaja začinio sa previše detalja -- a zaista nam je drago što to nije učinio -- dodatno bi izgubio na uvjerljivosti.
Freud had it right. Freud said, look, there's much more to it than speech: "No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." And we all do it no matter how powerful you are. We all chatter with our fingertips. I'm going to show you Dominique Strauss-Kahn with Obama who's chattering with his fingertips.
I tu je Freud bio u pravu. Frojd je rekao, vidite, nije samo riječ o govoru: "Nema tog smrtnika koji može da sačuva tajnu. Ako i šuti kao zaliven, izbrbljaće se prstima". A to svi činimo, bez obzira na to koliko smo moćni. Svi mi brbljamo prstima. Pokazaću vam Dominika Strauss-Kahna sa Obamom koji govori prstima.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now this brings us to our next pattern, which is body language. With body language, here's what you've got to do. You've really got to just throw your assumptions out the door. Let the science temper your knowledge a little bit. Because we think liars fidget all the time. Well guess what, they're known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying. We think liars won't look you in the eyes. Well guess what, they look you in the eyes a little too much just to compensate for that myth. We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity. But a trained liespotter can spot a fake smile a mile away. Can you all spot the fake smile here? You can consciously contract the muscles in your cheeks. But the real smile's in the eyes, the crow's feet of the eyes. They cannot be consciously contracted, especially if you overdid the Botox. Don't overdo the Botox; nobody will think you're honest.
I to nas sada dovodi do sljedećeg obrasca, a to je govor tijela. Evo šta treba da radite u vezi sa govorom tijela. Treba da se otarasite svih pretpostavki. I dozvolite nauci da malo modifikuje vaše znanje. Pošto mislimo da su lažovi uvijek nervozni. E pa, vidite, zna se da im je, dok lažu, gornji dio tijela sasvim ukočen. Mislimo da lažovi izbjegavaju da nas gledaju u oči. E, pa nije tko, čak vas gledaju u oči malo više nego što bi trebalo. kako bi učinili suprotno tom mitu. Mislimo da toplota i osmijesi otrkivaju poštenje i iskrenost. Međutim, oni koji su obučeni da prepoznaju laganje mogu izdaleka da prepoznaju lažni osmjeh. Možete li ovdje da prepoznate lažni osmjeh? Moguće je svjesno zgrčiti mišiće obraza. Pravi osmjeh je, međutim, u očima, u uglovima očiju. Koji se ne mogu svjesno zgrčiti, pogotovu ne ako ste pretjerali sa botoksom.
Now we're going to look at the hot spots. Can you tell what's happening in a conversation? Can you start to find the hot spots to see the discrepancies between someone's words and someone's actions? Now, I know it seems really obvious, but when you're having a conversation with someone you suspect of deception, attitude is by far the most overlooked but telling of indicators.
Pazite da ne pretjerate sa botoksom, niko vam više neće vjerovati da ste iskreni. Sad ćemo potražiti ključna mjesta. Možete li zaključiti šta se dešava u nekom razgovoru? Možete li početi traganjem za ključnim mjestima kako biste vidjeli neslaganja između onoga što neko govori i što radi? Znam da djeluje sasvim očigledno, ali kad sa nekim razgovarate i sumnjate da vas laže držanje se daleko najčešće previdi iako daje
An honest person is going to be cooperative. They're going to show they're on your side. They're going to be enthusiastic. They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth. They're going to be willing to brainstorm, name suspects, provide details. They're going to say, "Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll that forged those checks." They're going to be infuriated if they sense they're wrongly accused throughout the entire course of the interview, not just in flashes; they'll be infuriated throughout the entire course of the interview. And if you ask someone honest what should happen to whomever did forge those checks, an honest person is much more likely to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.
Poštena osoba će uvijek sarađivati. Pokazaće vam da su na vašoj strani. Biće ushićeni. Pokazaće volju i spremnost da vam pomognu da dođete do istine. Mozgaće sa vama, imenovaće sumnjive, snabdjeće vas detaljima. Reći će: "Vidi, možda su oni u obračunskom krivotvorili te čekove". Biće bijesni ukoliko shvate da su pogrešno optuženi tokom čitavog razgovora, ne samo na trenutke; biće bijesni tokom čitavog razgovora. a ako poštenu osobu pitate šta bi trebalo da se dogodi onome ko je te čekove krivotvorio, poštena osoba će mnogo vjerovatnije preporučiti strožu kaznu umjesto blaže.
Now let's say you're having that exact same conversation with someone deceptive. That person may be withdrawn, look down, lower their voice, pause, be kind of herky-jerky. Ask a deceptive person to tell their story, they're going to pepper it with way too much detail in all kinds of irrelevant places. And then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order. And what a trained interrogator does is they come in and in very subtle ways over the course of several hours, they will ask that person to tell that story backwards, and then they'll watch them squirm, and track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells.
Sad zamislimo da isti takav razgovor vodimo sa nekim ko skriva istinu. Ta osoba može biti povučena, spuštena pogleda, tiha glasa, zastajkuje, nepredvidljiva i nemirna. Ako takvu osobu zamolite da vam ispriča svoju verziju priče, začiniće je suvišnim detaljima koji su potpuno nevažni. I priču će vam ispričati strogo hronološkim redom. I šta tu onda uradi obučeni ispitivač - - dođe i na veoma vješt način tokom više sati razgovora, traži od te osobe da priču ispriča unatraške, pa onda gleda kako se ta osoba migolji, kako bi mogao da primjeti na koja pitanja dobija najveće laži.
Why do they do that? Well, we all do the same thing. We rehearse our words, but we rarely rehearse our gestures. We say "yes," we shake our heads "no." We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders. We commit terrible crimes, and we smile at the delight in getting away with it. Now, that smile is known in the trade as "duping delight."
Zašto to tako rade? To svi radimo. Mi vježbamo kako ćemo nešto reći, ali rijetko vježbamo i pokrete tijelom. Izgovorimo "da" ali glavom pokažemo "ne". Dok pričamo veoma ubjedljive priče, jedva primjetno sliježemo ramenima. Kada počinimo stravične zločine, smijemo se zadovoljni što smo se izvukli. U ovom poslu taj osmjeh zovemo "uživanjem u uspjeloj prevari" (duping delight).
And we're going to see that in several videos moving forward, but we're going to start -- for those of you who don't know him, this is presidential candidate John Edwards who shocked America by fathering a child out of wedlock. We're going to see him talk about getting a paternity test. See now if you can spot him saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no," slightly shrugging his shoulders.
Vidjećemo ga u nekoliko sljedećih video isječaka, ali prvo počnimo sa - za one koji ga ne znaju, ovo je predsjednički kandidat John Edwards koji je šokirao Ameriku otkrićem da ima vanbračno dijete. Vidjećemo ga kako govori o utvrđivanju očinstva. Probajte sada da primjetite kako govori "da" dok mu glava odmahuje "ne". i lagano sliježe ramenima.
(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy to participate in one. I know that it's not possible that this child could be mine, because of the timing of events. So I know it's not possible. Happy to take a paternity test, and would love to see it happen.
(Video) John Edwards: "Sa zadovoljstvom bih u tome učestvovao. Znam da to dijete nikako ne može biti moje. zbog vremena kada se sve događalo. Stoga znam da to nije moguće. Rado ću se podvrgnuti utvrđivanju očinstva,
Interviewer: Are you going to do that soon? Is there somebody --
i volio bih da se to i dogodi". Ispitivač: "Hoćete li to uskoro učiniti? Ima li koga --"
JE: Well, I'm only one side. I'm only one side of the test. But I'm happy to participate in one.
JE: "Pa, ja sam samo jedna strana. Jedna strana u testiranju. Ali ću rado učestvovati".
PM: Okay, those head shakes are much easier to spot once you know to look for them. There are going to be times when someone makes one expression while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash. Murderers are known to leak sadness. Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand, celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger. And we're not all going to become facial expression experts overnight here, but there's one I can teach you that's very dangerous and it's easy to learn, and that's the expression of contempt. Now with anger, you've got two people on an even playing field. It's still somewhat of a healthy relationship. But when anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed. It's associated with moral superiority. And for that reason, it's very, very hard to recover from. Here's what it looks like. It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in. It's the only asymmetrical expression. And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows -- and it doesn't always follow -- look the other way, go the other direction, reconsider the deal, say, "No thank you. I'm not coming up for just one more nightcap. Thank you."
PM: OK, mnogo je lakše primjetiti ovo klimanje glavom. ako znate šta treba da tražite. Jednom će neko napraviti izraz lica kojim će prekriti drugi izraz a on će se, na trenutak, nekako probiti. Poznato je da ubicama procuri tuga. Novi poslovni partner se s vama može rukovati, proslaviti s vama, izići na vereču a onda će mu se slučajno oteti izraz bijesa. Nećemo svi preko noći postati stručnjaci za izraze lica, ali jedan veoma opasan, mogu vas naučiti, lako je, a riječ je o izrazu prijezira. Kod bijesa, u pitanju je dvoje ljudi na istoj ravni. Tako da tu, bar donekle, imamo zdrav odnos. Ali, kada bijes preraste u prezir. bićete otpisani. Prezir se vezuje za moralnu superiornost. I stoga je iz njega veoma, veoma teško izići. Evo kako to izgleda. Vidi se u uglu usne koji se malo podigne i uvuče. Taj je izraz jedini asimetričan. Kada je prisutan prezir, bilo da za njim uslijedi laž ili ne -- jer ona ne uslijedi uvijek -- okrenite se na drugu stranu, potražite nešto drugo, razmislite još jednom o postignutom dogovoru, i recite: "Neka, hvala, ne bih da se pojavljujem zbog kasnovečernjeg ćaskanja uz čašicu. Hvala".
Science has surfaced many, many more indicators. We know, for example, we know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit. They will take barrier objects and put them between themselves and the person that is interviewing them. They'll alter their vocal tone, often making their vocal tone much lower.
Nauka je izdvojila mnogo, mnogo drugih pokazatelja. Znamo, na primjer, da se lažovima mijenja učestalost treptanja, da su im stopala usmjerena prema izlazu. da će se poslužiti predmetima od kojih mogu načiniti prepreku između sebe i osobe koja ih ispituje. Govoriće promjenjivim visinama glasa, često će govoriti mnogo dubljim glasom nego inače.
Now here's the deal. These behaviors are just behaviors. They're not proof of deception. They're red flags. We're human beings. We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long. They don't mean anything in and of themselves. But when you see clusters of them, that's your signal. Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport. Don't try to be like those folks on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows that pummel their subjects into submission. Don't be too aggressive, it doesn't work.
Evo o čemu je riječ. Ovo su samo oblici ponašanja. Njima se ne dokazuje laž. Oni su znak za uzbunu. Svi smo ljudska bića. Stalno prevarantski mlataramo rukama na sve strane, Ali to mlataranje ne znači ništa samo po sebi. Međutim, ako primjetite da se to mlataranje ponavlja u nizovima, eto vam znaka. Pogledajte malo bolje, poslušajte, ispitajte i postavite teška pitanja, napustite taj udoban režim rada kada nešto saznajete, i prebacite se u režim znatiželje, više zapitkujte, zadržite dostojanstvenost, imajte odnos međusobnog uvažavanja Ni ne pokušavajte da se ponašate kao oni iz serije "Red i zakon", i njima sličnih koji svoje ispitanike silom natjeraju na pokornost. Ne budite previše agresivni, to prosto ne pali.
Now, we've talked a little bit about how to talk to someone who's lying and how to spot a lie. And as I promised, we're now going to look at what the truth looks like. But I'm going to show you two videos, two mothers -- one is lying, one is telling the truth. And these were surfaced by researcher David Matsumoto in California. And I think they're an excellent example of what the truth looks like.
Eto, popričali smo o tome kako valja razgovarati sa lažovima i kako prepoznati laž. Ali sam vam obećala i da ćemo pričati o tome kako izgleda istina. Prikazaću vam dva snimka, dvije majke -- jedna laže dok druga govori istinu. Primjetio ih je istraživač David Matsumoto iz Kalifornije. A ja mislim da su odličan primjer
This mother, Diane Downs, shot her kids at close range, drove them to the hospital while they bled all over the car, claimed a scraggy-haired stranger did it. And you'll see when you see the video, she can't even pretend to be an agonizing mother. What you want to look for here is an incredible discrepancy between horrific events that she describes and her very, very cool demeanor. And if you look closely, you'll see duping delight throughout this video.
kako izgleda istina. Ova majka, Diane Downs, pucala je iz blizine u svoju djecu, odvezla ih je u bolnicu dok su krvarili svuda po autu, i ustvrdila je da je pucao nepoznati čovjek raščupane kose. Kada budete gledali snimak, primjetićete, da ona čak nije u stanju ni da se pretvara da je rastrzana brigom za djecu. Ovdje treba primjetiti nevjerovatno neslaganje između stravičnih događaja koje ona opisuje i izuzetno hladnog ponašanja. A ako pažljivo posmatrate, primjetićete i zadovoljstvo zbog uspjele prevare tokom čitavog snimka.
(Video) Diane Downs: At night when I close my eyes, I can see Christie reaching her hand out to me while I'm driving, and the blood just kept coming out of her mouth. And that -- maybe it'll fade too with time -- but I don't think so. That bothers me the most.
(Snimak) Diane Downs: Noću, kad zatvorim oči, Vidim Christi kako ka meni pruža ruke dok je vozim, dok joj krv nadire iz usta. Možda će to s vremenom izblijedjeti -- iako mislim da neće. To me najviše proganja.
PM: Now I'm going to show you a video
PM: Sad ću vam prikazati snimak
of an actual grieving mother, Erin Runnion, confronting her daughter's murderer and torturer in court. Here you're going to see no false emotion, just the authentic expression of a mother's agony.
majke koja zaista pati, Erin Runnion, kako se na suđenju suočava sa ubicom i mučiteljem svoje kćerke. Ovdje nećete vidjeti lažna osjećanja, već istinski izraz majčinske patnje.
(Video) Erin Runnion: I wrote this statement on the third anniversary of the night you took my baby, and you hurt her, and you crushed her, you terrified her until her heart stopped. And she fought, and I know she fought you. But I know she looked at you with those amazing brown eyes, and you still wanted to kill her. And I don't understand it, and I never will.
(Snimak) Erin Runnion: Ovu izjavu sam napisala na treću godišnjicu noći kada si mi oteo dijete, povrijedio je, i slomio je, prestravio je toliko da joj je srce stalo. A ona se opirala, i znam da se borila. I znam da te je gledala onim divnim smeđim očima, a ti si i dalje želio da je ubiješ. To ne razumijem, i nikada neću razumjeti.
PM: Okay, there's no doubting the veracity of those emotions.
PM: Dakle, nema nikakve sumnje u iskrenost ovih osjećanja.
Now the technology around what the truth looks like is progressing on, the science of it. We know, for example, that we now have specialized eye trackers and infrared brain scans, MRI's that can decode the signals that our bodies send out when we're trying to be deceptive. And these technologies are going to be marketed to all of us as panaceas for deceit, and they will prove incredibly useful some day. But you've got to ask yourself in the meantime: Who do you want on your side of the meeting, someone who's trained in getting to the truth or some guy who's going to drag a 400-pound electroencephalogram through the door?
Tehnološka dostignuća su uznapredovala i omogućuju nam da naučno pokažemo kako izgleda istina. Na primjer, sada već imamo posebne naprave za praćenje kretanja očne jabučice, te infracrvene snimke mozga, snimke magnetne rezonance koji tumače znakove koje naša tijela šalju onda kada pokušavamo da prevarimo. I te će nam tehnologije biti svima ponuđene na tržištu kao čarobni lijek protiv laži, i jednoga dana će se pokazati nevjerovatno korisnim. Ali, do tada, treba sebi postaviti pitanje: Ko biste željeli da budete na takvom jednom razgovoru, osoba obučena da stigne do istine ili neko ko sa sobom vucara EEG od 180 kg i s njim pokušava proći kroz vrata?
Liespotters rely on human tools. They know, as someone once said, "Character's who you are in the dark." And what's kind of interesting is that today, we have so little darkness. Our world is lit up 24 hours a day. It's transparent with blogs and social networks broadcasting the buzz of a whole new generation of people that have made a choice to live their lives in public. It's a much more noisy world. So one challenge we have is to remember, oversharing, that's not honesty. Our manic tweeting and texting can blind us to the fact that the subtleties of human decency -- character integrity -- that's still what matters, that's always what's going to matter. So in this much noisier world, it might make sense for us to be just a little bit more explicit about our moral code.
Ljudi obučeni da prepoznaju laž služe se ljudskim alatkama. Kako je to nekad neko rekao, oni znaju: "Ljudski karakter izlazi na vidjelo u mraku". I baš to je zanimljivo jer je u savremenom svijetu ostalo tako malo tame. Živimo u svijetu koji je osvijetljen tokom čitavog dana. Sve je vidljivo kroz blogove i društvene mreže kojima se šire priče o čitavoj jednoj generaciji koja je odlučila da svoje živote izloži javnosti. Ovaj svijet je daleko bučniji. Otuda je pred nama izazov da ne nikako ne smetnemo s uma da pretjerano otkrivanje ne znači i iskrenost. Naše manijakalno slanje kratkih poruka Twitterom ili mobilnim telefonima prijeti da nas zaslijepi te da zaboravimo na ono teško uhvatljivo u čestitosti -- ličnost i integritet. Jer to ostaje najvažnije i to će uvijek biti najvažnije. Stoga,u ovom tako bučnom svijetu, i dalje ima smisla biti nešto izričitiji kada je riječ
When you combine the science of recognizing deception
o moralnim vrijednostima.
with the art of looking, listening, you exempt yourself from collaborating in a lie. You start up that path of being just a little bit more explicit, because you signal to everyone around you, you say, "Hey, my world, our world, it's going to be an honest one. My world is going to be one where truth is strengthened and falsehood is recognized and marginalized." And when you do that, the ground around you starts to shift just a little bit.
Kada se ukrste naučna saznanja o prepoznavanju laži sa vještinom posmatranja, slušanja, uspjećete da izbjegnete da sarađujete sa onim ko laže. Krenite putem koji podrazumijeva da ćete biti tek nešto malo više izričiti jer ćete time poslati signal svima u okruženju, "Slušaj, moj svijet, naš svijet, biće svijet iskrenih. U mom svijetu jačaće istina a pretvaranje će biti razotkriveno i skrajnuto". Ako se tako ponašate, prilike oko vas će se malo ipak promjeniti.
And that's the truth. Thank you.
I to je istina. Hvala.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)