Okay, now I don't want to alarm anybody in this room, but it's just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar.
Ok, sada ne želim uznemiriti nikog u ovoj prostoriji, ali upravo sam shvatila
(Laughter)
da je osoba desno od vas lažljivac.
Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. We're all liars. What I'm going to do today is I'm going to show you what the research says about why we're all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth seeking, and ultimately to trust building.
(Smijeh) Također, osoba koja sjedi lijevo od vas je lažljivac. A i osoba koja sjedi u vašem sjedalu je lažljivac. Svi smo lažljivci. Ono što ću ja danas napraviti je pokazati vam što istraživanje kaže o tome zašto smo svi lažljivci, kako možete uočavati laži i zašto bismo mogli poželjeti napraviti korak dalje i poći od uočavanja laži do traženja istine i na kraju do gradnje povjerenja.
Now, speaking of trust, ever since I wrote this book, "Liespotting," no one wants to meet me in person anymore, no, no, no, no, no. They say, "It's okay, we'll email you."
Govoreći o povjerenju, otkako sam napisala ovu knjigu „Liespotting“ nitko me ne želi upoznati uživo, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne. Kažu:“ U redu je, poslat ćemo vam elektronsku poštu.“
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks. My husband's like, "Honey, deception? Maybe you could have focused on cooking. How about French cooking?"
Čak ne mogu dogovoriti niti kavu u Starbucksu. Moj muž kaže: “Dušo, obmana? Možda si se mogla fokusirati na kuhanje. Što kažeš na francusku kuhinju?“
So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha. Liespotters aren't those nitpicky kids, those kids in the back of the room that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha! Your eyebrow twitched. You flared your nostril. I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.' I know you're lying." No, liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. They use it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do everyday; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition, and that proposition is the following: Lying is a cooperative act. Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.
Pa ću ja prije nego što krenem, ono što ću napraviti je pojasniti vam svoj cilj, a to nije naučiti vas igru „Ulovio sam te!“. Uočavatelji laži nisu ona sitničava djeca, ona djeca u stražnjem dijelu prostorije koja viču, „Ulovio sam te! Ulovio sam te! Trgnuo si obrvom. Nosnica ti se proširila. Ja gledam „Laži mi“. Znam da lažeš.“ Ne, uočavatelji laži su naoružani znanstvenim saznanjima o tome kako prepoznati obmanu. Oni ju koriste kako bi doprli do istine, i oni rade ono što zreli vođe čine svaki dan, vode teške razgovore s teškim ljudima, ponekad tijekom veoma teških vremena. I oni kreću na taj put prihvaćajući jedan temeljni problem, i taj je problem sljedeći: Laganje je kooperativni čin. Razmislite o tome, laž nema apsolutno nikakvu moć samim izgovorom. Njezina moć nastaje kada netko drugi pristane vjerovati u nju.
So I know it may sound like tough love, but look, if at some point you got lied to, it's because you agreed to get lied to. Truth number one about lying: Lying's a cooperative act. Now not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret. We say, "Nice song." "Honey, you don't look fat in that, no." Or we say, favorite of the digiratti, "You know, I just fished that email out of my Spam folder. So sorry."
Dakle, ja znam da to možda zvuči kao gruba ljubav, ako vam je u nekom trenutku netko lagao, to je zato jer ste pristali na to da vam se laže. Istina broj jedan vezana uz laganje: Laganje je kooperativni čin. Naravno, nisu sve laži štetne. Katkada smo voljni sudionici u obmani radi socijalnog dostojanstva, možda kako bismo sačuvali tajnom ono što bi trebalo ostati tajna. Kažemo: “Lijepa pjesma.“ “Draga, uopće ne izgledaš debelo u tome.“ Ili kažemo, omiljenu tehnološku, „Znaš, upravo sam izvadio taj mail iz spam foldera. Oprosti.“
But there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception. And that can have dramatic costs for us. Last year saw 997 billion dollars in corporate fraud alone in the United States. That's an eyelash under a trillion dollars. That's seven percent of revenues. Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the case of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country, they can compromise our security, they can undermine democracy, they can cause the deaths of those that defend us.
Ali postoje trenuci kada smo nevoljni sudionici u obmani. I to može imati dramatične posljedice za nas. Prošle godine smo vidjeli 997 milijardi dolara samo u korporativnim prijevarama u Sjedinjenim Državama. A to je samo mali dio bilijuna dolara. To je sedam posto prihoda. Obmana može koštati milijarde. Sjetite se Enrona, Madoffa, krize s hipotekama. Ili u slučaju dvostrukih agenata i izdajica poput Roberta Hanssena ili Aldricha Amesa, laži mogu izdati našu domovinu, mogu ugroziti našu sigurnost, mogu potkopati demokraciju, mogu uzrokovati smrt onih koji nas brane.
Deception is actually serious business. This con man, Henry Oberlander, he was such an effective con man, British authorities say he could have undermined the entire banking system of the Western world. And you can't find this guy on Google; you can't find him anywhere. He was interviewed once, and he said the following. He said, "Look, I've got one rule." And this was Henry's rule, he said, "Look, everyone is willing to give you something. They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for." And that's the crux of it. If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know, what is it that you're hungry for?
Obmana je zapravo ozbiljan posao. Ovaj prevarant, Henry Oberlander, bio je toliko učinkovit prevarant da britanske vlasti tvrde da je mogao minirati cijeli bankovni sustav zapadnog svijeta. I tog tipa ne možete naći na Googleu: nigdje ga ne možete naći. Bio je intervjuiran jednom i rekao je slijedeće. Rekao je: “Gledajte, ja imam jedno pravilo.“ A ovo je bilo Henrijevo pravilo. Rekao je: “Gledajte, svi su vam voljni dati nešto. Spremni su vam dati nešto za što god bilo ono čega su gladni.“ I to je srž svega. Ako ne želite bit prevareni, morate znati, što je to za čime gladujete?
And we all kind of hate to admit it. We wish we were better husbands, better wives, smarter, more powerful, taller, richer -- the list goes on. Lying is an attempt to bridge that gap, to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be, with what we're really like. And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps in our lives with lies.
I svi to zapravo mrzimo priznati. Mi želimo biti bolji muževi, bolje supruge, pametniji, moćniji, viši, bogatiji -- lista se nastavlja. Laganje je pokušaj da se ta praznina premosti, da se povežu naše želje i naše fantazije o tome tko bi željeli biti, kako bi željeli da možemo biti, s onim što zaista jesmo. I bome smo itekako voljni ispuniti te praznine u svojim životima laganjem.
On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times. Now granted, many of those are white lies. But in another study, it showed that strangers lied three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other.
Tijekom bilo kojeg dana, studije pokazuju da vam je bilo lagano od 10 do 200 puta. Naravno, mnoge od tih laži su nedužne laži. Ali u drugoj studiji, pokazala je da si stranci lažu tri puta u prvih deset minuta poznanstva.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now when we first hear this data, we recoil. We can't believe how prevalent lying is. We're essentially against lying. But if you look more closely, the plot actually thickens. We lie more to strangers than we lie to coworkers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people. If you're an average married couple, you're going to lie to your spouse in one out of every 10 interactions. Now, you may think that's bad. If you're unmarried, that number drops to three.
Sada, kada prvi put čujemo taj podatak, ustuknemo. Ne možemo vjerovati koliko je laganje sveobuhvatno. U načelu smo protiv laganja. Ali ako pogledate pobliže, priča se zapravo zapetljava. Više lažemo strancima nego što lažemo kolegama. Ekstrovertirane osobe lažu više od introvertiranih. Muškarci lažu osam puta više o sebi nego o drugim ljudima. Žene više lažu da zaštite druge ljude. Ako ste prosječan bračni par, lagat ćete svom supružniku u jednoj od svakih deset interakcija. Sada možete pomisliti da je to loše. Ako niste u braku, taj broj pada na tri.
Lying's complex. It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We're deeply ambivalent about the truth. We parse it out on an as-needed basis, sometimes for very good reasons, other times just because we don't understand the gaps in our lives. That's truth number two about lying. We're against lying, but we're covertly for it in ways that our society has sanctioned for centuries and centuries and centuries. It's as old as breathing. It's part of our culture, it's part of our history. Think Dante, Shakespeare, the Bible, News of the World.
Laganje je kompleksno. Utkano je u naše privatne i poslovne živote. Duboko smo neodlučni po pitanju istine. Analiziramo je prema potrebi, ponekad iz veoma dobrih razloga a katkad jednostavno zato jer ne razumijemo praznine u vlastitim životima. To je istina broj dva o laganju. Protiv laži smo, ali postajno smo za njih na načine koje je naše društvo sankcioniralo stoljećima i stoljećima. To je staro kao i disanje. Dio je naše kulture, dio je naše povijesti. Sjetite se Dantea, Shakespearea,
(Laughter)
Biblije, News of the World.
Lying has evolutionary value to us as a species.
(Smijeh)
Researchers have long known that the more intelligent the species, the larger the neocortex, the more likely it is to be deceptive. Now you might remember Koko. Does anybody remember Koko the gorilla who was taught sign language? Koko was taught to communicate via sign language. Here's Koko with her kitten. It's her cute little, fluffy pet kitten. Koko once blamed her pet kitten for ripping a sink out of the wall.
Laganje ima evolucionarnu ulogu za nas kao vrstu. Istraživači već jako dugo znaju da što je vrsta inteligentnija, što je veći neokorteks, veća je šansa da bude varljiva. Možda se sjećate Koko. Sjeća li se itko gorile Koko koju su naučili znakovni jezik? Kako je bila naučena da komunicira znakovnim jezikom. Ovdje je Koko sa svojim mačetom. To je njezina slatka mala paperjasta kućna ljubimica. Koko je jednom optužila svoju mačku
(Laughter)
za kidanje umivaonika iz zida.
We're hardwired to become leaders of the pack. It's starts really, really early. How early? Well babies will fake a cry, pause, wait to see who's coming and then go right back to crying. One-year-olds learn concealment.
(Smijeh) Mi smo „programirani“ da postanemo vođe čopora. To počinje vrlo, vrlo rano. Koliko rano? Pa bebe će odglumiti plač, stati, pričekati da vide tko dolazi i tada se vratiti plakanju. Jednogodišnjaci nauče prikrivanje.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Two-year-olds bluff. Five-year-olds lie outright. They manipulate via flattery. Nine-year-olds, masters of the cover-up. By the time you enter college, you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions. By the time we enter this work world and we're breadwinners, we enter a world that is just cluttered with Spam, fake digital friends, partisan media, ingenious identity thieves, world-class Ponzi schemers, a deception epidemic -- in short, what one author calls a post-truth society. It's been very confusing for a long time now.
Dvogodišnjaci blefiraju. Petogodišnjaci izravno lažu. Manipuliraju laskanjem. Devetogodišnjaci, majstori u prikrivanju. Do vremena kada upišete fakultet, lagat ćete mami u jednoj od svakih pet interakcija. Kada dođemo u poslovni svijet i postanemo uzdržavatelji, uđemo u svijet koji je jednostavno zakrčen spamom, lažnim digitalnim prijateljima, pristranim medijima, genijalnim kradljivcima identiteta, klasnim Ponzi prevarantima, epidemija obmane -- ukratko, ono što jedan autor naziva „post-istina“ društvo. To je veoma zbunjujuće već dugo vremena.
What do you do? Well, there are steps we can take to navigate our way through the morass. Trained liespotters get to the truth 90 percent of the time. The rest of us, we're only 54 percent accurate. Why is it so easy to learn? There are good liars and bad liars. There are no real original liars. We all make the same mistakes. We all use the same techniques. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you two patterns of deception. And then we're going to look at the hot spots and see if we can find them ourselves. We're going to start with speech.
Što učiniti? Pa postoje koraci koje možemo poduzeti kako bismo navigirali kroz tu močvaru. Trenirani uočavatelji laži dođu do istine 90% vremena. Mi ostali smo samo 54% točni. Zašto je to tako lako naučiti? Postoje dobri lažljivci i postoje loši lažljivci. Ne postoje pravi originalni lažljivci. Svi radimo iste pogreške. Svi koristimo iste tehnike. Sada ću vam pokazati dva uzorka obmane. Tada ćemo pogledati aktivna mjesta i vidjeti možemo li ih sami uočiti. Počet ćemo s govorom. (Video) Bill Clinton: Želim da me poslušate.
(Video) Bill Clinton: I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never. And these allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
Reći ću ovo ponovno. Nisam imao seksualne odnose s tom ženom, gospođicom Lewinsky. Nikad nisam nikome rekao da laže, ni jedan jedini put, nikad. I ovi su navodi lažni. I ja se moram vratiti raditi za američki narod. Hvala.
(Applause)
Pamela Meyer: Okay, what were the telltale signs? Well first we heard what's known as a non-contracted denial. Studies show that people who are overdetermined in their denial will resort to formal rather than informal language. We also heard distancing language: "that woman." We know that liars will unconsciously distance themselves from their subject, using language as their tool. Now if Bill Clinton had said, "Well, to tell you the truth ..." or Richard Nixon's favorite, "In all candor ..." he would have been a dead giveaway for any liespotter that knows that qualifying language, as it's called, qualifying language like that, further discredits the subject. Now if he had repeated the question in its entirety, or if he had peppered his account with a little too much detail -- and we're all really glad he didn't do that -- he would have further discredited himself.
Pamela Meyer: Ok, koji su bili izdajnički znakovi? Pa prvo što čujemo je poznato kao neugovoreno poricanje. Studije su pokazale da će ljudi koji su previše odlučni u svom poricanju pribjeći formalnom, a ne neformalnom jeziku. Također smo čuli i jezik udaljavanja „tom ženom“. Znamo da će se lažljivci podsvjesno udaljiti od teme koristeći jezik kao oružje. Sada, da je Bill Clinton rekao „Pa, da budem iskren ...“ ili omiljena Richarda Nixona, „U svoj iskrenosti ...“ bio bi laka meta za bilo kojeg uočavatelja laži koji zna da jezik koji kvalificira, kao što se i zove, jezik koji kvalificira tako, samo dalje diskreditira subjekt. Da je ponovio pitanje u potpunosti ili začinio svoj iskaz s malo previše detalja -- i svima nam je drago što to nije učinio -- samo bi se još više diskreditirao.
Freud had it right. Freud said, look, there's much more to it than speech: "No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." And we all do it no matter how powerful you are. We all chatter with our fingertips. I'm going to show you Dominique Strauss-Kahn with Obama who's chattering with his fingertips.
Freud je bio u pravu. Freud je rekao, gle tu je puno više od govora: “Nijedan smrtnik ne može čuvati tajnu. Ako su mu usne tihe, on čavrlja vrhovima prstiju.“ I svi to radimo bez obzira na to koliko bili moćni. Svi čavrljamo vrhovima prstiju. Pokazat ću vam Dominique Strauss-Kahn s Obamom koji čavrlja vrhovima prstiju.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now this brings us to our next pattern, which is body language. With body language, here's what you've got to do. You've really got to just throw your assumptions out the door. Let the science temper your knowledge a little bit. Because we think liars fidget all the time. Well guess what, they're known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying. We think liars won't look you in the eyes. Well guess what, they look you in the eyes a little too much just to compensate for that myth. We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity. But a trained liespotter can spot a fake smile a mile away. Can you all spot the fake smile here? You can consciously contract the muscles in your cheeks. But the real smile's in the eyes, the crow's feet of the eyes. They cannot be consciously contracted, especially if you overdid the Botox. Don't overdo the Botox; nobody will think you're honest.
To nas dovodi do sljedećeg uzorka, a to je govor tijela. S govorom tijela, evo što morate učiniti. Zaista morate jednostavno odbaciti svoje pretpostavke. Pustite znanost da malo pokvari vaše znanje. Jer mi mislimo da se lažljivci neprestano meškolje. Pogodite što? Oni znaju smrznuti gornji dio tijela kad lažu. Mislimo da lažljivci neće gledati u oči. Pogodite što? Gledaju vas u oči malo previše kako bi kompenzirali taj mit. Mislimo da toplina i osmijeh znače poštenje, iskrenost. Ali trenirani uočavatelj laži može prepoznati lažan osmijeh na kilometar. Možete li uočiti lažan osmijeh ovdje? Možete svjesno zgrčiti mišiće u obrazima. Ali pravi je osmijeh u očima, naborima kože kraj vanjskih kutova oka. Oni ne mogu biti svjesno pomaknuti, posebno ako ste pretjerali s Botoxom.
Now we're going to look at the hot spots. Can you tell what's happening in a conversation? Can you start to find the hot spots to see the discrepancies between someone's words and someone's actions? Now, I know it seems really obvious, but when you're having a conversation with someone you suspect of deception, attitude is by far the most overlooked but telling of indicators.
Nemojte pretjerati s Botoxom; nitko neće misliti da ste iskreni. Sada ćemo pogledati aktivna mjesta. Možete li reći što se događa u razgovoru? Možete li početi tražiti aktivna mjesta kako biste vidjeli razlike između nečijih riječi i nečijih djela? Znam da se to čini veoma očitim, ali kada razgovarate s nekim koga sumnjičite za obmanu, držanje je daleko najčešće previđen, ali i najbolji indikator.
An honest person is going to be cooperative. They're going to show they're on your side. They're going to be enthusiastic. They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth. They're going to be willing to brainstorm, name suspects, provide details. They're going to say, "Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll that forged those checks." They're going to be infuriated if they sense they're wrongly accused throughout the entire course of the interview, not just in flashes; they'll be infuriated throughout the entire course of the interview. And if you ask someone honest what should happen to whomever did forge those checks, an honest person is much more likely to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.
Iskrena osoba će surađivati. Pokazat će da je na vašoj strani. Bit će entuzijastična. Željet će vam pomoći doći do istine. Bit će spremna s vama mozgati, imenovati sumnjivce, ponudit će vam dokaze. Reći će: „Hej, Možda su oni tipovi što rade obračun plaća krivotvorili čekove.“ Razbjesnit će se ako u tijeku intervjuiranja osjete da su pogrešno optuženi, i to ne samo na trenutke, nego će biti razdražljivi tijekom čitavog postupka intervjuiranja. I ako pitate nekog iskrenog, što misle da bi se trebalo dogoditi osobi koja je uistinu krivotvorila čekove, iskrena osoba prije će preporučiti strogu nego blažu kaznu.
Now let's say you're having that exact same conversation with someone deceptive. That person may be withdrawn, look down, lower their voice, pause, be kind of herky-jerky. Ask a deceptive person to tell their story, they're going to pepper it with way too much detail in all kinds of irrelevant places. And then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order. And what a trained interrogator does is they come in and in very subtle ways over the course of several hours, they will ask that person to tell that story backwards, and then they'll watch them squirm, and track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells.
Pretpostavimo sada da vodite identičan razgovor s osobom koja laže. Moguće je da će ta osoba biti povučena, da će usmjeravati pogled prema dolje, tiho pričati, zastati, nastojati biti nepredvidljiva. Upitate li takvu osobu da vam ispriča svoju priču, oni će ju začiniti s previše detalja na bezbroj nebitnih mjesta. I ispričati će vam priču strogo kronološkim redom. Ono što će izvježbani ispitivač učiniti, jest suptilno se vratiti, i nakon nekoliko sati pitati osobu da im priču ispriča unatrag, i tada će ih gledati kako se meškolje, i pokušati uočiti koja pitanja proizvode najveći obujam lažnih informacija.
Why do they do that? Well, we all do the same thing. We rehearse our words, but we rarely rehearse our gestures. We say "yes," we shake our heads "no." We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders. We commit terrible crimes, and we smile at the delight in getting away with it. Now, that smile is known in the trade as "duping delight."
Zašto to čine? Pa, svi mi radimo tu istu stvar. Uvježbavamo svoje riječi, ali rijetko uvježbavamo svoje geste. Kažemo „da“, klimamo glavom „ne“. Pričamo vrlo uvjerljive priče, lagano slegnemo ramena. Činimo strašne zločine, i smješkajući se naslađujemo što smo se iz nečega izvukli. Danas je taj smiješak poznat kao „podmukli smiješak“.
And we're going to see that in several videos moving forward, but we're going to start -- for those of you who don't know him, this is presidential candidate John Edwards who shocked America by fathering a child out of wedlock. We're going to see him talk about getting a paternity test. See now if you can spot him saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no," slightly shrugging his shoulders.
I to ćemo upravo vidjeti u nekoliko videa, početi ćemo sa -- za one koji ga ne znaju, ovo je predsjednički kandidat John Edwards koji je šokirao Ameriku svojim zakonski nepriznatim djetetom. Vidjeti ćemo kako govori o testiranju očinstva. Pokušajte uočiti kako klima glavom „ne“ dok govori „da“, i lagano sliježe ramenima.
(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy to participate in one. I know that it's not possible that this child could be mine, because of the timing of events. So I know it's not possible. Happy to take a paternity test, and would love to see it happen.
(Video) John Edwards: Drage ću volje sudjelovati. Znam da nije moguće da je to dijete moje, zbog vremenskih okolnosti. Tako da znam da to nije moguće. Rado ću se testirati na očinstvo
Interviewer: Are you going to do that soon? Is there somebody --
i volio bi da do njega dođe. Ispitivač: Hoćete li test obaviti uskoro? Postoji li netko --
JE: Well, I'm only one side. I'm only one side of the test. But I'm happy to participate in one.
JE.: Pa, ja sam samo jedna strana tog testa. Ali rado ću sudjelovati u testiranju.
PM: Okay, those head shakes are much easier to spot once you know to look for them. There are going to be times when someone makes one expression while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash. Murderers are known to leak sadness. Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand, celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger. And we're not all going to become facial expression experts overnight here, but there's one I can teach you that's very dangerous and it's easy to learn, and that's the expression of contempt. Now with anger, you've got two people on an even playing field. It's still somewhat of a healthy relationship. But when anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed. It's associated with moral superiority. And for that reason, it's very, very hard to recover from. Here's what it looks like. It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in. It's the only asymmetrical expression. And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows -- and it doesn't always follow -- look the other way, go the other direction, reconsider the deal, say, "No thank you. I'm not coming up for just one more nightcap. Thank you."
PM.: Dobro, klimanje glavom je mnogo lakše uočiti kada znate način na koji ih uočiti. Katkada će biti situacija, kada netko čini jednu ekspresiju dok prikriva drugu koja samo ispliva negdje u trenutku. Ubojice su poznati po tome, što se tiče tuge. Vaš novi partner u zajedničkom pothvatu, može vam prijateljski stisnuti ruku, slaviti, izlaziti na večere s vama, i odjednom iskazati ljutnju. Normalno da nećemo svi preko noći postati stručnjaci za detektiranje ljudskih facijalnih ekspresija, ali postoji jedna koju vas mogu naučiti i koja je vrlo opasna, ali je laka za naučiti prepoznati, a to je prijezir. Što se tiče ljutnje, sada imate dvije osobe na otvorenom terenu. To je još donekle zdrav odnos. Ali kada se ljutnja pretvori u prijezir, gotovo je. To je povezano s moralnom nadmoći. I zbog tog razloga, vrlo, vrlo se teško od toga oporaviti. Evo kako to izgleda. Obilježeno je uvučenim i podignutim kutom usne. To je jedina asimetrična ekspresija. U prisutnosti prijezira, bilo praćeno obmanom ili ne -- a nije uvijek time praćeno -- pogledajte i otiđite u drugom smjeru, ponovno promislite o ideji, recite: „Ne hvala. Neću opet doći na još jedno piće prije spavanja. Hvala.“
Science has surfaced many, many more indicators. We know, for example, we know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit. They will take barrier objects and put them between themselves and the person that is interviewing them. They'll alter their vocal tone, often making their vocal tone much lower.
Znanost je na površinu iznijela mnogo novih pokazatelja. Znamo, na primjer da će lažljivci promijeniti brzinu treptaja oka, da će usmjeriti noge prema izlazu. Uzeti će nekakve predmete koji će postaviti između sebe i ispitivača kako bi im poslužila kao nekakva vrsta barijere. Promijeniti će ton glasa, ponekad ga podosta povisiti.
Now here's the deal. These behaviors are just behaviors. They're not proof of deception. They're red flags. We're human beings. We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long. They don't mean anything in and of themselves. But when you see clusters of them, that's your signal. Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport. Don't try to be like those folks on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows that pummel their subjects into submission. Don't be too aggressive, it doesn't work.
Evo o čemu je riječ. Takva su ponašanja jednostavno ponašanja. Nisu dokaz obmane. Ona su crvene zastave. Mi smo ljudska bića. Činimo bespotrebne obmanjujuće geste čitav dan posvuda. One ništa ne znače same po sebi. Ali ukoliko ih uočite u nizovima, to je vaš znak. Gledajte, slušajte, ispitujte, postavljajte teška pitanja, izađite iz ugodnog načina saznavanja, prijeđite u znatiželjni oblik, postavljajte više pitanja, imajte više dostojanstva, tretirajte osobu s kojom razgovarate na prisan način. Nemojte biti kao one ekipe iz „Zakona i Reda“, i ostalih TV emisija koje premlaćivanjem subjekte dovode do podčinjenosti. Nemojte biti previše agresivni, to neće upaliti.
Now, we've talked a little bit about how to talk to someone who's lying and how to spot a lie. And as I promised, we're now going to look at what the truth looks like. But I'm going to show you two videos, two mothers -- one is lying, one is telling the truth. And these were surfaced by researcher David Matsumoto in California. And I think they're an excellent example of what the truth looks like.
Sada smo malo pričali o tome kako razgovarati s nekim tko laže i kako uočiti laž. Kao što sam obećala, sada ćemo pogledati kako izgleda istina. Pokazat ću vam dva videa, dvije majke -- jedna laže, jedna govori istinu. Otkrio ih je istražitelj David Matsumoto u Kaliforniji. Mislim da su izvrstan primjer
This mother, Diane Downs, shot her kids at close range, drove them to the hospital while they bled all over the car, claimed a scraggy-haired stranger did it. And you'll see when you see the video, she can't even pretend to be an agonizing mother. What you want to look for here is an incredible discrepancy between horrific events that she describes and her very, very cool demeanor. And if you look closely, you'll see duping delight throughout this video.
kako izgleda istina. Ova majka, Diane Downs, je pucala u svoju djecu s male udaljenosti, vozila ih je u bolnicu dok su oni krvarili po cijelom autu, i tvrdila da je mršavi kosati stranac to učinio. I uočit ćete, kada pogledate video da se ona čak ne može ni praviti da je u agoniji. Ono što tu trebate potražiti je nevjerojatna proturječnost između stravičnih događaja koje ona opisuje i vrlo, vrlo hladnokrvnog ponašanja. I ako pogledate bolje vidjet ćete onaj podmukli smiješak u ovom videu.
(Video) Diane Downs: At night when I close my eyes, I can see Christie reaching her hand out to me while I'm driving, and the blood just kept coming out of her mouth. And that -- maybe it'll fade too with time -- but I don't think so. That bothers me the most.
(Video) Diane Downs: Po noći kad zaklopim oči, vidim kako Christi poseže rukom prema meni dok vozim, a krv joj teče iz usta. I to -- možda će i to izblijedjeti s vremenom -- iako sumnjam. To me najviše smeta.
PM: Now I'm going to show you a video
PM.: Sada ću vam pokazati video
of an actual grieving mother, Erin Runnion, confronting her daughter's murderer and torturer in court. Here you're going to see no false emotion, just the authentic expression of a mother's agony.
istinski ožalošćene majke, Erin Runnion, u tijeku suočavanja s ubojicom svoje kćeri na sudu. Ovdje nećete vidjeti lažne emocije, već autentični izraz agonije ove majke.
(Video) Erin Runnion: I wrote this statement on the third anniversary of the night you took my baby, and you hurt her, and you crushed her, you terrified her until her heart stopped. And she fought, and I know she fought you. But I know she looked at you with those amazing brown eyes, and you still wanted to kill her. And I don't understand it, and I never will.
(Video) Erin Runnion: Napisala sam ovu izjavu, na 3. godišnjicu noći kada si mi oduzeo moje dijete, kada si ju ozlijedio, slomio, prestravio toliko da joj je srce stalo. I ona se borila, znam da ti se opirala. I znam da te gledala onim svojim predivnim smeđim očima, i ti si ju svejedno i dalje htio ubiti. Ja to jednostavno ne razumijem, i nikada neću moći razumjeti.
PM: Okay, there's no doubting the veracity of those emotions.
PM.: Dobro, nema sumnje u vjerodostojnost ovih emocija.
Now the technology around what the truth looks like is progressing on, the science of it. We know, for example, that we now have specialized eye trackers and infrared brain scans, MRI's that can decode the signals that our bodies send out when we're trying to be deceptive. And these technologies are going to be marketed to all of us as panaceas for deceit, and they will prove incredibly useful some day. But you've got to ask yourself in the meantime: Who do you want on your side of the meeting, someone who's trained in getting to the truth or some guy who's going to drag a 400-pound electroencephalogram through the door?
U današnje vrijeme, tehnologija i znanost povezane s otkrivanjem istine napreduju. Znamo da danas postoje npr. specijalizirani uređaji koji prate pokrete oka, i infracrvene snimke mozga, magnetska rezonancija, koja može dešifrirati znakove koje naše tijelo odašilje s namjenom da zavara. Ta tehnologija će postati komercijalizirana, i dostupna svima nama kao lijek za prijevaru, i jednoga dana to će se pokazati iznimno korisnim. Ali se u međuvremenu morate zapitati: Koga želite na svojoj strani, nekoga tko je izvježban da dođe do istine ili nekog tipa koji će progurati EEG od 180kg kroz vrata?
Liespotters rely on human tools. They know, as someone once said, "Character's who you are in the dark." And what's kind of interesting is that today, we have so little darkness. Our world is lit up 24 hours a day. It's transparent with blogs and social networks broadcasting the buzz of a whole new generation of people that have made a choice to live their lives in public. It's a much more noisy world. So one challenge we have is to remember, oversharing, that's not honesty. Our manic tweeting and texting can blind us to the fact that the subtleties of human decency -- character integrity -- that's still what matters, that's always what's going to matter. So in this much noisier world, it might make sense for us to be just a little bit more explicit about our moral code.
Osobe koje znaju uočavati laž, oslanjaju se na ljudska pomagala. Poznaju, kako je netko jednom rekao: „Osobe koje postajete kada padne mrak.“ I ono što je zanimljivo je to da smo danas okruženi s vrlo malo tame. Naš je svijet osvijetljen 24h na dan. I sve je postalo transparentno preko blogova i društvenih mreža koje prenose glas nove generacije ljudi koji su donijeli odluku živjeti javni život. Svijet je postao mnogo glasniji. I ono što moramo zapamtiti jest da dijeljenje našeg života s javnošću ne znači biti iskren. Manijakalno „tweetanje“ i slanje poruka nas može učiniti slijepima na činjenicu da ono što je doista bitno i što će uvijek biti bitno jest suptilnost ljudskog dostojanstva i integritet osobe. Stoga u ovom bučnijem svijetu moglo bi imati smisla biti izravniji
When you combine the science of recognizing deception
što se tiče našeg moralnog kodeksa.
with the art of looking, listening, you exempt yourself from collaborating in a lie. You start up that path of being just a little bit more explicit, because you signal to everyone around you, you say, "Hey, my world, our world, it's going to be an honest one. My world is going to be one where truth is strengthened and falsehood is recognized and marginalized." And when you do that, the ground around you starts to shift just a little bit.
Kada spojite znanost prepoznavanja obmane s umjetnošću promatranja, slušanja, oslobađate se surađivanja u toj obmani. Započinjete svoj put postajući izravniji i tako svima dajete do znanja: „Hej, moj svijet, naš svijet, bit će iskreni svijet. Moj svijet će biti tamo gdje je istina najjača a neistinitost prepoznata i marginalizirana.“ I kada to napravite, tlo pod vama počet će se pomalo mijenjati.
And that's the truth. Thank you.
I to je istina. Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)