What I thought I would do is I would start with a simple request. I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence. (Laughter)
我原本想做的是 我會開始一個簡單的要求, 我想你們所有人 暫時停下來, 你們這些可憐的弱者, 點算一下過去難過的經驗, 笑聲
Now that was the advice that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifth century. It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40. Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior -- I was eating too much, I was drinking too much, I was working too hard and I was neglecting the family. And I decided that I would try and turn my life around. In particular, I decided I would try to address the thorny issue of work-life balance. So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children. But all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work. (Laughter) Not a very useful skill, especially when the money runs out.
現在, 這是一個 St. Benedict 在公元五世紀的時候 給他的追隨者的建議. 這也是一個在我四十歲時 我決定追隨的建議。 在四十歲之前, 我是一個典型的業界精英--- 我吃得太多, 喝得太多, 工作得太忙, 以及我忽略了家庭。 於是, 我決定嘗試 把我的生活來個徹底的改變。 尤其是, 我決定 我去回應那個最棘手的問題 就是工作和生活的平衡。 於是,我從工作中退下來, 我花了一年時間在家 和我的太太及四個孩子相處。 但我在那一年 所學習到的 是我發現當我根本不用工作的時候 工作和生活的平衡 是很容易解決的 笑聲 這不是一個有用的方法, 尤其是當錢慢慢用盡。
So I went back to work, and I've spent these seven years since struggling with, studying and writing about work-life balance. And I have four observations I'd like to share with you today. The first is: if society's to make any progress on this issue, we need an honest debate. But the trouble is so many people talk so much rubbish about work-life balance. All the discussions about flexi-time or dress-down Fridays or paternity leave only serve to mask the core issue, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family. Now the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in. And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like. (Laughter) (Applause) It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.
所以我回到工作, 我用了七年的時候去 掙扎, 學習 以及寫作有關工作和生活平衡。 這樣, 我有了四個心得 想今天跟大家一起分享 第一是 如果社會需要在這議題上有所進展 我們需要一個誠實的討論。 但問題是 太多人對工作和生活的平衡 表達了毫無意義的言論. 所有關於彈性上班時間 或是星期五穿得輕鬆 或是父親的待產假等 都只是把核心問題模糊了, 這是 有一定特定的工作及職業種類 是基本上並不適合 恒常地全情投入的 以每天工作的形式投入的, 當你有一個年輕家庭時。 現在, 解決問題的第一步 是確認你現實的處境。 以及現實的社會處境 這是有千萬 的人在這裡 過著一些令人沮喪的生活, 他們長時間努力的 在做一份自己也討厭的工作 令他們可以去買一些其實自己並不真正需要的東西 去討好一些自己其實不喜歡的人。 笑聲 掌聲 我的論點是, 星期五穿T 恤牛仔褲 並沒有處理問題的核心。
(Laughter)
笑聲
The second observation I'd like to make is we need to face the truth that governments and corporations aren't going to solve this issue for us. We should stop looking outside. It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead. If you don't design your life, someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance. It's particularly important -- this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired -- it's particularly important that you never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporation. Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies -- the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them. (Laughter) I'm talking about all companies. Because commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you [as] they can get away with. It's in their nature; it's in their DNA; it's what they do -- even the good, well-intentioned companies. On the one hand, putting childcare facilities in the workplace is wonderful and enlightened. On the other hand, it's a nightmare -- it just means you spend more time at the bloody office. We have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries that we want in our life.
第二個觀察是, 我認為 我們需要面對真相 政府和大型企業 並不準備去為我們解決這些問題。 我們應該停止外望; 這是我們個人 去控制和負責任 為我們想為的生活而爭取。 如果你不計畫你的人生, 那麼別人便會代你去設計這一切, 可能你並不喜歡這個 平衡的概念。 最重要的是----- 這不是在互聯網, 當我差不多快要給別人裁掉-- 最重要的是 你不要把你的生活質素 交到商業企業的手裡。 我說的不只是那些壞企業---- 我稱他們為人類靈魂的屠場。 笑聲 我是說 所有的企業。 因為商業公司 是天生設計成 去搾取你的所有 而同時逃避責任. 這是他們的本性, 是他們的基因, 這是他們所做的--- 即使是好的, 有良心的公司。 一方面, 把照顧幼兒 的設備放在工作間 是很好和開明的 但另一方面, 也是一個惡夢 這代表你需要花更多的時間在這血腥的工作間 我們要負責 為設定及持守 我們生活的界限
The third observation is we have to be careful with the time frame that we choose upon which to judge our balance. Before I went back to work after my year at home, I sat down and I wrote out a detailed, step-by-step description of the ideal balanced day that I aspired to. And it went like this: wake up well rested after a good night's sleep. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have breakfast with my wife and children. Have sex again. (Laughter) Drive the kids to school on the way to the office. Do three hours' work. Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime. Do another three hours' work. Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink. Drive home for dinner with my wife and kids. Meditate for half an hour. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have sex again. Go to bed. (Applause) How often do you think I have that day? (Laughter) We need to be realistic. You can't do it all in one day. We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the "I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left." (Laughter) A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long. There's got to be a middle way.
第三個觀察是 我們需要考慮 究竟我們怎樣去選擇那個時間框架 去衡量自己的生活是否平衡 在我回到工作之前 我過了一年在家的日子之後, 我坐下來 我寫下 一個很詳盡的, 一步一步的描述 關於我渴望的理想 平衡生活日程 它應該是這樣的: 充份的休息之後 精神的醒來 有性生活。 和小狗散步。 和太太及孩子共進早餐。 再有性。 笑聲 上班途中開車送孩子上學。 工作三小時。 午飯時間和朋友做運動。 另外再工作三小時。 和一些朋友在酒吧喝點東西。 開車回家晚飯 和太太, 孩子在一起。 靜修半小時。 有性。 和小狗散步, 再有一次性。 上床睡覺。 掌聲 你想我究竟多久才有一天這樣的日子 笑聲 我們需要現實一點。 你不能在一天內做了所有這些東西。 我們需要去拉長我們的時間框架 才可以評定 我們的生活是否平衡。 但我們需要拉長時間 而不致墮入 那個: "當我 退休之後, 我的生活是 當我的孩子獨立, 當我的妻子跟我離婚, 而我的健康也衰退, 我沒有朋友, 也沒有興趣。" 笑聲 一天是太短, 但退休後的時間框架卻是太長 這應該找著一個中間點
A fourth observation: We need to approach balance in a balanced way. A friend came to see me last year -- and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year and said, "Nigel, I've read your book. And I realize that my life is completely out of balance. It's totally dominated by work. I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day. All of my relationships have failed. There's nothing in my life apart from my work. So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out. So I joined a gym." (Laughter) Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced; it's more fit. (Laughter) Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are other parts to life -- there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side; there's the spiritual side. And to be balanced, I believe we have to attend to all of those areas -- not just do 50 stomach crunches.
第四個觀察 我們應該去接近平衡 以一個平衡的方法。 去年, 我有一個朋友跟我見面--- 她並不介意我講這個故事---去年有一個朋友跟我見面 她說: Nigel, 我 看過你的書 我發現我的生活是完全並不平衡。 我被工作佔據了。 我一天工作十小時, 交通時間兩小時。 我的所有人際關係都是失敗。 我的人生沒有餘下什麼 除了我的工作之外 於是, 我決定去要鎮靜一下, 以及解決問題。 於是我參加了健體班。 笑聲 現在, 我不是想嘲笑她, 但當在辦公室已經操練了十小時的老鼠 這個健體班是不是更平衡, 更操練。 笑聲 可愛地, 雖然運動可能 是生活的其 他部份。 但這裡有思想的部份, 也是情感的部份, 也有靈性的部份。 需要平衡的, 我相信我們需要去關注 這當中的所有範圍---- 而不只是做五十下仰卧起坐。
Now that can be daunting. Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit. You want me to go to church and call my mother." And I understand. I truly understand how that can be daunting. But an incident that happened a couple of years ago gave me a new perspective. My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today, called me up at the office and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" -- Harry -- "up from school." Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening. So I left work an hour early that afternoon and picked Harry up at the school gates. We walked down to the local park, messed around on the swings, played some silly games. I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe, and we shared a pizza for two, then walked down the hill to our home, and I gave him his bath and put him in his Batman pajamas. I then read him a chapter of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach." I then put him to bed, tucked him in, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate," and walked out of his bedroom. As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?" He went, "Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever." I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.
這可能會讓人氣餒的。 因為人們常說: 可怕的地獄朋友, 我沒有去健身 你想我去教堂還是打電話給我的媽媽。 這個我明白。 我真實的明白這些怎樣令人氣餒。 但數年前發生的一件事 卻給了我一個新的角度。 我的太太, 她今天也在聽眾當中, 打電話到我的辦公室 說: Nigel, 你需要接最小的兒子 哈利放學。 因為她那天要跟另外三個孩子到其他地方。 於是, 我那天早點離開公司 接在學校門外接哈利。 我們在附近的公園走了一陣子, 玩一些韆鞦之類的無聊遊戲。 跟著, 我和他走上小山去喝下午茶, 我們共吃一份意大利薄餅, 跟著我們走下山回家, 我給他洗澡 給他穿上了蝙蝠俠睡衣。 跟著, 我給他讀了一個章節的 Roald Dahl 的"占利和巨大桃子"的書。 於是, 我安排他上床睡覺, 我吻了他的前額說: "晚安, 老弟!" 走出了他的睡房。 當我正走出去的時候, 他說: "爸?" 我說: "怎樣, 老弟?" 他說: "爸, 這是我有生以來 最好的一天。" 我沒有做些什麼, 沒有帶他到迪士尼樂園, 或是給他買部playstation 遊戲機。
Now my point is the small things matter. Being more balanced doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life. Moreover, I think, it can transform society. Because if enough people do it, we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like. And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.
現在, 我想說的是 小事才是重要。 要想做到更平衡 並不表示要剎時間提昇你的生活。 用最小的投資 在適當的地方, 你可以根本地轉化你的關係 以及你生活的質素。 還有, 我想 這還可以轉化社會。 因為假如有足够的人去做, 我們甚至可以改變社會對成功的定義 成功不只是一個簡化了的概念 即成功只是追求人死的時候, 要有更多的錢 而是去思考一個更有深度和多面性的定義 關於活得好的生命應該如何。 這樣, 我想 也是一個值得宣揚的意念。
(Applause)
掌聲