What I thought I would do is I would start with a simple request. I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence. (Laughter)
Mislil sem začeti tako, da bi vas prosil za nekaj preprostega. Prosil bi vas, da vsi za trenutek obstanete, vi nesrečni slabotneži, in analizirate svoj beden obstoj. (smeh)
Now that was the advice that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifth century. It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40. Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior -- I was eating too much, I was drinking too much, I was working too hard and I was neglecting the family. And I decided that I would try and turn my life around. In particular, I decided I would try to address the thorny issue of work-life balance. So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children. But all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work. (Laughter) Not a very useful skill, especially when the money runs out.
To je bil nasvet, ki ga je sv. Benedikt dal svojim precej vznemirjenim privržencem v petem stoletju. To je bil nasvet, ki sem se ga odločil slediti, ko sem dopolnil 40 let. Do takrat sem bil klasičen korporacijski bojevnik - jedel sem preveč, pil sem preveč, preveč sem delal in zanemarjal družino. Odločil sem se, da poskusim spremeniti svoje življenje. Konkretneje, odločil sem se, da poskusim rešiti mučen problem ravnotežja med delom in življenjem. Izstopil sem iz delovne sile in preživel leto dni doma z mojo ženi in s štirimi otroki. Vse kar sem se naučil o ravnotežju med delom in življenjem v tem letu je bilo to, da je dokaj preprosto uravnotežiti delo in življenje, ko nisem imel dela. (smeh) Nič kaj uporabna veščina, posebej ko zmanjka denarja.
So I went back to work, and I've spent these seven years since struggling with, studying and writing about work-life balance. And I have four observations I'd like to share with you today. The first is: if society's to make any progress on this issue, we need an honest debate. But the trouble is so many people talk so much rubbish about work-life balance. All the discussions about flexi-time or dress-down Fridays or paternity leave only serve to mask the core issue, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family. Now the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in. And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like. (Laughter) (Applause) It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.
Tako sem šel spet v službo, in posvetil sedem let boju, preučevanju in pisanju o ravnotežju med delom in življenjem. Prišel sem do štirih ugotovitev, ki bi jih danes želel deliti z vami. Prva je ta, če želi družba doseči kakšen napredek pri temu vprašanju, rabimo iskreno debato. Problem pa je, da mnogo ljudi govori veliko neumnosti o ravnotežju med delom in življenjem. Vse te diskusije o fleksibilnem času, ali modno sproščenih petkih, ali očetovskem dopustu, služijo le maskiranju primarnega problema, ki je, da nekatere službe in karierne izbire nikakor ne omogočajo vsakodnevnega posvečanja polne pozornosti vaši mladi družini. Prvi korak k reševanju kateregakoli problema je zavedanje realne situacije v kateri ste. In realnost današnje družbe v kateri živimo je takšna, da obstaja tisoče in tisoče ljudi okoli nas, ki živijo v tihem, a kričečem obupu, v katerem delajo dolge, naporne ure v službah, ki jih sovražijo, da si potem lahko kupujejo stvari, ki ji ne rabijo, da bi naredili vtis na ljudi, ki jih ne marajo. (smeh) (aplavz) Moje mnenje je, da se petkov odhod na delo v kavbojkah in majici v resnici ne dotika bistva problema.
(Laughter)
(smeh)
The second observation I'd like to make is we need to face the truth that governments and corporations aren't going to solve this issue for us. We should stop looking outside. It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead. If you don't design your life, someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance. It's particularly important -- this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired -- it's particularly important that you never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporation. Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies -- the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them. (Laughter) I'm talking about all companies. Because commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you [as] they can get away with. It's in their nature; it's in their DNA; it's what they do -- even the good, well-intentioned companies. On the one hand, putting childcare facilities in the workplace is wonderful and enlightened. On the other hand, it's a nightmare -- it just means you spend more time at the bloody office. We have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries that we want in our life.
Drugo odkritje, ki bi ga rad delil, je to da, se moramo soočiti z resnico, ki je, da vlade in korporacije ne bodo rešile tega problema namesto nas. Moramo prenehati gledati navzven; mi kot posamezniki moramo prevzeti kontrolo in odgovornost za način življenja, ki si ga želimo živeti. Če ne boste sami kreirali svojega življenja, ga bo namesto vas nekdo drug in mogoče vam ne bo ravno všeč njihova ideja o ravnotežju. Zelo je pomembno - tega ni na internetu, kajne ... dobil bom odpoved - zelo je pomembno, da nikoli ne prepustite kvalitete vašega življenja v roke komercialnim korporacijam. Ne govorim samo o slabih podjetjih - klavnicah človeških duš, kot jih poimenujem. (smeh) Govorim o vseh podjetjih. Kajti komercialna podjetja so oblikovana tako, da vzamejo od vas toliko kolikor lahko. To je v njihovi naravi, v njihovem DNK, to je tisto kar delajo celo dobra podjetja z dobrimi nameni. Po eni strani je dati otroke v skrbništvo na delovnem mestu čudovito in razsvetljujoče. Po drugi strani, pa je to nočna mora, ker to pomeni, da preživiš več časa v prekleti pisarni. Moramo biti odgovorni za oblikovanje in uveljavljanje svojih okvirov, ki si jih želimo v življenju.
The third observation is we have to be careful with the time frame that we choose upon which to judge our balance. Before I went back to work after my year at home, I sat down and I wrote out a detailed, step-by-step description of the ideal balanced day that I aspired to. And it went like this: wake up well rested after a good night's sleep. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have breakfast with my wife and children. Have sex again. (Laughter) Drive the kids to school on the way to the office. Do three hours' work. Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime. Do another three hours' work. Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink. Drive home for dinner with my wife and kids. Meditate for half an hour. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have sex again. Go to bed. (Applause) How often do you think I have that day? (Laughter) We need to be realistic. You can't do it all in one day. We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the "I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left." (Laughter) A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long. There's got to be a middle way.
Tretja ugotovitev je, da moramo biti previdni kateri časovni termin izberemo, na podlagi katerega ocenjujemo naše ravnotežje. Preden sem šel nazaj v službo, po letu dni doma, sem se usedel in zapisal natančen, postopen opis svojega idealno uravnoteženega dneva po katerem sem hrepenel. Bil je takšen: Zbuditi se spočit po dobro prespani noči. Seksati. Sprehoditi psa. Pozajtrkovati s svojo ženo in otroki. Spet seksati. (smeh) Odpeljati otroke v šolo na poti v službo. Delati tri ure. Športati s prijateljem v času kosila. Spet delati tri ure. Srečati se s prijatelji v lokalu na večerni pijači. Odpeljati se domov na večerjo z mojo ženo in otroki. Meditirati pol ure. Seksati. Sprehoditi psa. Spet seksati. Iti spat. (aplavz) Kolikokrat mislite, da imam takšen dan? (smeh) Moramo biti realistični. Ne moremo vsega narediti v enem dnevu. Moramo razširiti časovni okvir, na podlagi katerega ocenjujemo uravnoteženost našega življenja, vendar ga moramo razširiti, ne da bi se pri tem ujeli v past: "Imel bom takšno življenje, ko se upokojim, ko se moji otroci odselijo, ko se z žena ločiva, ko me zdravje zapusti, ko ne bom imel več nobenega prijatelja ali hobija." (smeh) Dan je prekratek, ko se bom upokojil, bo predolg. Tukaj mora biti srednja pot.
A fourth observation: We need to approach balance in a balanced way. A friend came to see me last year -- and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year and said, "Nigel, I've read your book. And I realize that my life is completely out of balance. It's totally dominated by work. I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day. All of my relationships have failed. There's nothing in my life apart from my work. So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out. So I joined a gym." (Laughter) Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced; it's more fit. (Laughter) Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are other parts to life -- there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side; there's the spiritual side. And to be balanced, I believe we have to attend to all of those areas -- not just do 50 stomach crunches.
Četrta ugotovitev: K uravnoteženosti moramo pristopiti na uravnotežen način. Prejšnje leto me je obiskala prijateljica - ne bo mi zamerila, če povem to zgodbo - prijateljica me je obiskala prejšnje leto in rekla: "Nigel, prebrala sem tvojo knjigo. In ugotovila, da je moje življenje popolnoma neuravnoteženo. Popolnoma je podrejeno delu. V službi sem 10 ur na dan, vozim se dve uri na dan. Vse moje zveze so propadle. Nič več ni ostalo v mojem življenju, razen moje službe. Tako sem se odločila, da zagrabim in uredim stvari. Vpisala sem se na vadbo." (smeh) Ne želim se posmehovati, ampak biti 10 urna pisarniška miška v kondiciji ni uravnoteženost, ampak biti v boljši kondiciji. (smeh) Kakorkoli že je fizična vadba lahko prijetna, so tukaj tudi druge plati življenja. Intelektualna plat, čustvena plat, tukaj je tudi duhovna plat. Da imamo uravnoteženo življenje, verjamem, da se moramo posvetiti vsem tem platem - ne le narediti 50 trebušnjakov.
Now that can be daunting. Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit. You want me to go to church and call my mother." And I understand. I truly understand how that can be daunting. But an incident that happened a couple of years ago gave me a new perspective. My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today, called me up at the office and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" -- Harry -- "up from school." Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening. So I left work an hour early that afternoon and picked Harry up at the school gates. We walked down to the local park, messed around on the swings, played some silly games. I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe, and we shared a pizza for two, then walked down the hill to our home, and I gave him his bath and put him in his Batman pajamas. I then read him a chapter of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach." I then put him to bed, tucked him in, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate," and walked out of his bedroom. As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?" He went, "Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever." I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.
To je lahko težko. Ljudje pravijo: "Prekleto prijatelj, nimam časa, da postanem fit; ti želiš, da grem v cerkev in pokličem svojo mater." In jaz razumem. Resnično razumem, da je to lahko težko. Ampak, pred nekaj leti se mi je zgodilo nekaj, kar mi je dalo nov pogled. Moja žena, ki je sedaj nekje v občinstvu, me je poklicala iz pisarne in rekla: "Nigel, danes moraš ti iti iskat najinega najmlajšega sina", Harry "iz šole". Ker ona je morala biti tisti večer nekje drugje z ostalimi tremi otroki. Tako sem tistega popoldneva odšel eno uro prej iz službe in pred šolskimi vrati pobral Harrya. Sprehodila sva se do krajevnega parka, se zabavala na gugalnicah in se šla neke smešne igrice. Nato sva odšla v lokalni bar na hribu, skupaj jedla pico in pila čaj, se sprehodila po hribu navzdol proti domu, nato sem ga skopal in ga oblekel v njegovo Batman pižamo. Nato sem mu prebral odlomek iz knjige Roalda Dahla "James in velikanska breskev". Nato sem ga polegel v posteljo, pokril, poljubil na čelo in rekel: "Lahko noč, prijatelj", ter odšel iz njegove sobe. Ko sem odhajal iz njegove sobe, mi je rekel: "Oče?", odvrnil sem: "Da, prijatelj?" Rekel je: "Oče, to je bil najboljši dan v celem mojem življenju." Nič nisem naredil - nisem ga peljal v Disney World ali mu kupil Playstation.
Now my point is the small things matter. Being more balanced doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life. Moreover, I think, it can transform society. Because if enough people do it, we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like. And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.
Moja poanta je, da male stvari štejejo. Imeti bolj uravnoteženo življenje ne pomeni dramatičnih preobratov v vašem življenju. Z najmanjšim vlaganjem na prava mesta lahko radikalno spremenite kvaliteto vaših odnosov in kvaliteto vašega življenja. Še več, mislim, da to lahko spremeni družbo. Ker, če to stori dovolj ljudi, lahko spremenimo družbeno definicijo uspeha, daleč od bebavega družbenega koncepta, da je zmagovalec tisti, ki umre z največ denarja, v bolj premišljeno in uravnoteženo definicijo, ki daje pomen izpopolnjenemu življenju. In to, mislim, da je ideja, ki jo je vredno širiti.
(Applause)
(aplavz)