I'm an Iranian-American Muslim female, like all of you. And I'm also a social justice comedian, something that I insist is an actual job.
我是一名伊朗裔美籍穆斯林女性, 和大家都一样。 我是一位喜剧演员, 表演内容关于社会正义的, 我一直坚信这是份正经工作。
To explain what that is, let me tell you how I got here. I've performed all over the country. And let me tell you, America is majestic, right? It's got breathtaking nature, waffle houses and diabetes as far as the eye can see. It is really something.
让我先讲讲我的经历, 再说我的工作内容 我在美国各地都表演过 要我说美国真是个伟大的国家,对吧? 拥有令人叹为观止的风景, 好多的华夫饼店, 随处可见的糖尿病患者。 这真了不起。
Now, the American population can be broken up into three main categories: there's mostly wonderful people, haters and Florida.
现在,美国人口 大致可以分成三类: 生活美满的大多数人, 心怀恨意的一部分人, 还有弗罗里达人。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Besides Florida, the most troubling category here are the Haters. They are a minority, but they overcompensate by being extra loud. They have the Napoleon complex of demographics, and yes, some of the men do wear heels.
除去佛罗里达,最麻烦的 就是那些心怀恨意的人。 他们是少数族群, 但是“矫枉过正”使他们 变得过度引人注目 他们就是 “矮个子症候群” (拿破仑情结) 是的,那些男人中 的确有些会穿内增高。
As a social justice comedian, it's my goal to convert these haters, because they hate a lot of things, which leads to negative outcomes, like racism, violence and Ted Nugent. This is not an exhaustive list; I'm probably missing 3-7 items.
作为一个专注于社会正义的喜剧演员, 我的目标是改变这些心怀恨意的人, 因为他们憎恨的事太多, 由此造成一些不良后果, 像是种族歧视,暴力和Ted Nugent (重金属摇滚明星) 这里没有列全。 我也许落下了3到7个
But the point is, we have to reckon with the haters. But there's variance within this group and it's not efficient to go after all of them, right? So what I've done is created a highly scientific Taxonomy of Haters. I basically took all of the haters, I put them in a petri dish, like a scientist, and this is what I found.
但我要说的是 这些怀恨者不可小觑 但是怀恨者中也分好几类 调查他们所有人也太没效率了,对吧? 于是,我创造了一个 非常科学的怀恨者分类法 基本上就是,我把所有的怀恨者 放在一个培养皿里,像科学家一样, 然后这就是我的发现。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
First off, we have the trolls. These are your garden-variety digital haters. They're the people who quit their jobs so they can post on YouTube videos all day long. There's also the drive-by haters. Now, these people will be at a stoplight, they'll wait for the light to turn green and when it does, they yell, "Go back to your own country!" Now back in the day, they would've actually gotten out of their cars and hated you to your face. But they just don't make them like they used to -- which is another sign of the decline in America.
第一类是洞穴巨人。 这一类非常普遍, 就是讨厌数字化的一群人。 他们就是那种辞掉工作, 然后整天在Youtube上发视频的人。 还有一类是路怒症患者。 这些人看到红灯停下 等着绿灯 绿灯一亮,他们就大叫 “ 哪来的滚回哪去!” 想想当时, 他们完全可以下车, 当着你的面大骂一场。 但他们只不过是把 自己真实的一面藏起来— 这也是美国正在衰落的 另一个迹象。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
The next category is the mission-oriented-bigot- whose-group-affiliation- gives-them-cover-for-hating hater. These guys like to hate via a seemingly nice organization, like a church or a nonprofit, and they oftentimes like to speak in an old-timey voice.
下一类怀恨者 是偏执狂、总是要去完成某种任务、 有个组织罩着他们。 这些人一般都有个表面 看起来很无害的组织 像是教堂或是非盈利组织, 他们时不时就用老气横秋的声调说话。
But the group I'm most interested in is the swing hater. The swing hater is sister to the swing voter -- they just can't decide! They're like ideological sluts who move from hating to not hating. And they do it because they don't have enough information. This is the group I like to target with social justice comedy. Why comedy? Because on a scale of comedy to brochure, the average American prefers comedy, as you can see from this graph.
但我最感兴趣的一类是 纠结的怀恨者 纠结的怀恨者和 纠结的投票者是亲姐妹— 他们就是没法赶紧做决定! 他们就像是思想中的绿茶婊 一会儿恨,一会不恨。 他们这样做是因为 没有足够多的信息 这一类人便是我用 社会正义喜剧攻击的目标。 为什么是喜剧? 因为要将喜剧和宣传手册放在一起的话, 一般美国人都更乐意看喜剧。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Comedy is very popular. And by the way, this is a mathematically accurate graph, generated from fake numbers.
喜剧非常受欢迎。 顺便提一下, 这是一个非常准确的图表, 虽然里面的数字都是假的。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Now, the question is: Why does social justice comedy work? Because, first off, it makes you laugh. And when you're laughing, you enter into a state of openness. And in that moment of openness, a good social justice comedian can stick in a whole bunch of information, and if they're really skilled, a rectal exam.
现在,问题就是: 为什么社会正义喜剧特别管用? 因为,首先,它让你哈哈大笑。 当你哈哈大笑的时候, 你就完全放开了, 于是在那一刻, 一位优秀的社会正义喜剧演员 就可以趁机插入一堆信息, 如果他们技巧娴熟, 那就像是直肠检查一样。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Here are some ground rules for social justice comedy: first off, it's not partisan. This isn't political comedy, this is about justice, and no one is against justice. Two, it's inviting and warm, it makes you feel like you're sitting inside of a burrito. Three, it's funny but sneaky, like you could be hearing an interesting treatise on income inequality, that's encased in a really sophisticated poop joke.
这是一些社会正义喜剧的基本原则: 首先,没有偏见, 这可不是政治喜剧,这关乎正义。 大家都想要正义。 第二,它非常有吸引力并且十分温暖。 就感觉像是裹在卷饼里一样。 第三,它很有趣,但是得偷偷摸摸的。 比如你正津津有味得听一个 关于收入不均的论述, 但是结果却是个烂笑话。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Here's how I see social justice comedy working. A few years ago, I rounded up a bunch of Muslim-American comedians -- in a non-violent way --
下面是我眼中的社会正义喜剧。 几年前,我召集了几个 美籍穆斯林喜剧演员- 用一种非暴力的手段-
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And we went around the country to places like Alabama, Arizona, Tennessee, Georgia -- places where they love the Muzzies -- and we did stand-up shows. We called the tour "The Muslims Are Coming!"
我们在美国转了一圈 去了阿拉巴马,亚利桑那, 田纳西,乔治亚 — 一些他们爱的死去活来的地方 — 我们表演单人脱口秀。 我们把这次旅行叫做 ”穆斯林来了!”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
We turned this into a movie, and then after the movie came out, a known hate group spent 300,000 dollars on an anti-Muslim poster campaign with the MTA -- that's the New York City subway system. Now, the posters were truly offensive, not to mentioned poorly designed -- I mean, if you're going to be bigoted, you might as well use a better font.
我们把这次旅行拍成了电影, 电影放映后, 一个有名的怀恨者团体花了30万美元, 用于反穆斯林宣传海报。 还和MTA合作——就是纽约市地铁系统。 当时那些海报可真是冒犯了不少人, 更别提它糟糕的设计了- 我是说,如果你想表现得有偏见, 你也得挑个好看点的字体吧!
(Laughter)
(笑声)
But we decided, why not launch our own poster campaign that says nice things about Muslims, while promoting the movie. So myself and fellow comedian Dean Obeidallah decided to launch the fighting-bigotry- with-delightful-posters campaign. We raised the money, worked with the MTA for over 5 months, got the posters approved, and two days after they were supposed to go up, the MTA decided to ban the posters, citing political content.
然后我们就想,要不我们也 发起一项把夸赞穆斯林的海报宣传, 趁着宣传我们的电影的时候。 于是我和我的小伙伴Dean Obeidallah 决定发起一个 “非常欢快得 打击偏执狂” 宣传海报。 我们筹到了钱, 和MTA一起商讨了五个月, 然后海报就通过了。 本来要把海报张 贴出来的,但是两天后, MTA又决定不贴了, 涉及政治内容。
Let's take a look at a couple of those posters. Here's one. Facts about Muslims: Muslims invented the concept of a hospital. OK. Fact: Grown-up Muslims can do more push-ups than baby Muslims.
来看看我们这些海报 看这个。 关于穆斯林的事实: 是穆斯林人创造了医院的概念。 好的。 事实:穆斯林成年人与穆斯林宝宝 相比能做更多仰卧起坐。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Fact: Muslims invented Justin Timberlake.
事实:穆斯林创造了了 Justin Timberlake(著名歌手+演员)
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Let's take a look at another one. The ugly truth about Muslims: they have great frittata recipes.
还有另一张 穆斯林的丑恶一面: 他们有极佳的煎蛋饼食谱。
Now clearly, frittatas are considered political by the MTA. Either that, or the mere mention of Muslims in a positive light was considered political -- but it isn't. It's about justice. So we decided to change our fighting-bigortry- with-delightful-posters campaign and turn it into the fighting-bigotry- with-a-delightful-lawsuit campaign.
很显然,煎蛋饼被MTA认作为了政治因素。 要不是蛋饼,要不就是 仅仅提到了穆斯林的好处, 就被扣上了政治的帽子-但不是这样的。 这是关于正义的。 所以我们决定改变 我们的“非常欢快得 打击偏执狂-海报法”运动, 把它变为“非常欢快得 打击偏执狂-诉讼法”运动。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
So basically, what I'm saying is a couple of dirt-bag comedians took on a major New York City agency and the comedians won.
所以,基本上,我想说的就是 几个在行业内混不下去的喜剧演员 与纽约城中的一个主要机构进行较量, 然后喜剧演员们获得了胜利。
(Applause and cheers)
(掌声和欢呼)
Thank you. Victory was a very weird feeling. I was like, "Is this what blonde girls feel like all the time? 'Cause this is amazing!"
谢谢。 胜利感是一种古怪的情感。 然后我就想,“这是不是就是 金发美女们一直以来的内心感觉? 因为实在是太神奇了!”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Here's another example. I'm asked everywhere I go: "Why don't Muslims denounce terrorism?" We do. But OK, I'll take the bait. So I decided to launch thedailydenouncer.com. It's a website that denounces terrorism every day of the week, while taking the weekends off. Let's take a look at an example. They generally appear as single-panel cartoons, "I denounce terrorism! I also denounce people who never fill the paper tray!" The point of the website is that it denounces terrorism while recognizing that it's ridiculous that we have to constantly denounce terrorism.
我再举一个例子。 无论我走到哪儿,都会被问: “为什么穆斯林不谴责恐怖主义?” 我们是谴责的。但是, 既然如此,我决定将错就错。 所以我就决定发起一个网站 thedailydenouncer.com(每日谴责人) 这个网站在每周的每个工作日 里都会谴责恐怖主义, 当然周末是休息的。 让我们看一个例子。 他们通常会以单片式动画形式呈现, “我要谴责恐怖主义!同时我也谴责 那些从来不把纸盘子装满的人!” 这个网站的目的性,就是 让我们在反复谴责 恐怖主义的过程中 意识到这是一件多么荒谬的事情。
But if bigotry isn't your thing, social justice comedy is useful for all sorts of issues. For example, myself and fellow comedian Lee Camp went to the Cayman Islands to investigate offshore banking. Now, the United States loses something like 300 billion dollars a year in these offshore tax havens. Not to brag, but at the end of every month, I have something like 5-15 dollars in disposable income. So we walked into these banks in the Cayman Islands and asked if we could open up a bank account with eight dollars and 27 cents.
但如果你的问题不在于偏执, 社会正义喜剧对各种问题都是有益的。 举个例子,我和我的喜剧同事Lee Camp 一起前往开曼群岛(拉丁美洲) 去调查那儿的离岸金融。 目前,美国每年将在那些离岸避税天堂 损失近300亿美元。 一点儿都不夸张的讲, 但是在每个月的月底, 我就会获得大概5-15美元的可支配收入。 所以我们就进入那些 在开曼群岛上的银行 询问我们是否能凭借8美元27分 开设一个银行账户。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
The bank managers would indulge us for 30-45 seconds before calling security. Security would come out, brandish their weapons, and then we would squeal with fear and run away, because -- and this is the last rule of social justice comedy -- sometimes it makes you want to take a dump in your pants.
银行经理大概会忍我们30-45秒, 然后就要喊安保人员了。 安保人员冲进来, 挥舞他们的武器, 然后我们就会因为 恐惧而惊声尖叫,逃离, 因为-这是社会正义喜剧 的最后一条原则- 又是把你吓得失禁。
Most of my work is meant to be fun. It's meant to generate a connection and laughter. But yes, sometimes I get run off the grounds by security. Sometimes I get mean tweets and hate mail. Sometimes I get voice mails saying that if I continue telling my jokes, they'll kill me and they'll kill my family. And those death threats are definitely not funny.
我们的大部分工作是搞笑的。 我们需要制造一种联系和笑声。 但是,确实,有时我也会 被保安人员扑倒在地。 有时我收到刻薄的推文,恐吓信件。 有时我会收到语音信件, 说如果我继续讲笑话, 他们就要杀了我 他们还要干掉我的家人。 那些死亡要挟一点儿都不好笑。
But despite the occasional danger, I still think that social justice comedy is one of our best weapons. I mean, we've tried a lot of approaches to social justice, like war and competitive ice dancing. But still, a lot of things are still kind of awful. So I think it's time we try and tell a really good poop joke.
但是除了这些偶尔的危险, 我仍然坚信社会正义喜剧 是我们最有力的武器之一。 我的意思是,我们尝试过 各种方式追求社会正义, 像是战争或是竞技冰上舞蹈。 但是,还有很多事情十分糟糕。 所以我认为,是时候让我们 尝试讲述那些极佳的烂笑话了。
Thank you.
谢谢。
(Applause)
(掌声)