The "Dirty Jobs" crew and I were called to a little town in Colorado, called Craig. It's only a couple dozen square miles. It's in the Rockies. And the job in question was sheep rancher.
Ekipu "Prljavih poslova" i mene pozvali su u gradić Craig, u Coloradu. Radi se o svega tridesetak četvornih kilometara, u Američkom Stjenjaku. A posao kojim smo se trebali baviti jest uzgajivač ovaca. Moja uloga u emisiji, za one kojima nije poznato, jako je jednostavna.
My role on the show, for those of you who haven't seen it -- it's pretty simple. I'm an apprentice, and I work with the people who do the jobs in question. And my responsibilities are to simply try and keep up, and give an honest account of what it's like to be these people for one day in their life. The job in question: herding sheep. Great.
Ja sam pripravnik, i radim uz ljude koje se zbilja bave poslom koji prikazujemo. Moja odgovornost jest jednostavno truditi se i pokušati ih pratiti te dati svoje iskreno viđenje o tome kako je biti jedan od tih ljudi i živjeti njihov život na jedan dan. Posao koji je u pitanju -- čuvanje ovaca. Sjajno. Odemo u Craig, prijavimo se u hotel
We go to Craig and we check into a hotel, and I realize the next day that castration is going to be an absolute part of this work. Normally, I never do any research at all. But this is a touchy subject, and I work for the Discovery Channel, and we want to portray accurately whatever it is we do. And we certainly want to do it with a lot of respect for the animals. So I call the Humane Society and I say, "Look, I'm going to be castrating some lambs. Can you tell me the deal?"
i sljedeći dan shvatim da će kastracija biti najveći dio posla. Inače ne istražujem pripremajući se za emisiju. Ali, ovo je osjetljiva tema, ja radim za Discovery Channel, mi želimo precizno prikazati poslove u emisiji, i svakako želimo da se pritom poštuje dobrobit životinja. Nazvao sam američko društvo za zaštitu životinja i rekao im :''Slušajte, kastrirat ću janjad,
And they're like, "Yeah, it's pretty straightforward."
možete li mi objasniti kako se to radi?''
They use a band, basically, a rubber band, like this, only a little smaller. This one was actually around the playing cards I got yesterday --
Odgovorili su mi: '' Postupak je prilično jasan.'' Koristi se gumena vrpca, poput ove, samo manja. Ova je bila oko igraćih karata koje sam jučer dobio,
(Laughter) But it had a certain familiarity to it.
ali je slična vrpci koju sam spomenuo. Upitao sam:''I, o kakvom je procesu riječ?''
And I said, "Well, what exactly is the process?"
Odgovorili su: ''Vrpca se čvrsto omota oko repa.''
And they said, "The band is applied to the tail, tightly. And then another band is applied to the scrotum, tightly. Blood flow is slowly retarded; a week later the parts in question fall off.
Zatim se druga vrpca čvrsto omota oko mošnji. Protok krvi se polako uspori, nakon tjedan dana omotani dijelovi otpadnu.''
"Great -- got it." OK, I call the SPCA to confirm this. They confirm it. I also call PETA just for fun, and they don't like it, but they confirm it. OK, that's basically how you do it.
''Super! Razumio sam.'' Nazovem organizaciju za sprečavanje okrutnosti nad životinjama, i oni mi ovo potvrde. Nazovem i PETA-u iz zabave, ne sviđa im se postupak, ali i oni potvrde. Tako se to, praktički, radi. Sljedeći dan izađem.
So the next day I go out. And I'm given a horse and we go get the lambs and we take them to a pen that we built, and we go about the business of animal husbandry.
Daju mi konja i odemo do janjadi odvedemo ih do tora koji smo sagradili, i obavljamo uobičajene stočarske poslove.
Melanie is the wife of Albert. Albert is the shepherd in question. Melanie picks up the lamb, one hand on both legs on the right, likewise on the left. Lamb goes on the post, she opens it up. Alright. Great. Albert goes in, I follow Albert, the crew is around. I always watch the process done the first time before I try it. Being an apprentice, you know, you do that. Albert reaches in his pocket to pull out, you know, this black rubber band, but what comes out instead is a knife. And I'm like, "Hmm, that's not rubber at all," you know?
Melanie je Albertova supruga. Albert je pastir kojeg prikazujemo. Melanie podigne janje objema rukama jednom rukom obuhvati obje noge s jedne, i drugom s druge strane. Janje je na postolju, ona mu raširi noge. U redu. Sjajno. Ulazi Albert, slijedim ga, i ostala je ekipa tu. Uvijek promatram kako se obavlja neki proces prije nego ga sam pokušam obaviti. Kao pripravnik, znate, to stalno radite. Albert posegne rukom u džep kako bi izvadio tu crnu gumenu vrpcu ali umjesto nje on drži nož. Ja pomislim - pa to nije uopće guma.
(Laughter)
Kad je otvarao nož, zraka sunca koje je izlazilo iza Stjenjaka
And he kind of flicked it open in a way that caught the sun that was just coming over the Rockies, it was very --
obasjala ga je, i to je bilo jako --
(Laughter)
jako impresivno.
It was ... it was impressive.
In the space of about two seconds, Albert had the knife between the cartilage of the tail, right next to the butt of the lamb, and very quickly, the tail was gone and in the bucket that I was holding. A second later, with a big thumb and a well-calloused forefinger, he had the scrotum firmly in his grasp. And he pulled it toward him, like so, and he took the knife and he put it on the tip. "Now, you think you know what's coming, Michael, You don't, OK?"
U roku dvije sekunde, Albert je držao nož između hrskavice repa, odmah do stražnjice janjeta, i ubrzo je rep završio u vjedru koje sam držao. Sekundu kasnije, velikim palcem i žuljavim kažiprstom čvrsto je držao mošnje, povukao ih prema sebi, ovoliko, uzeo nož i prislonio ga na vrh. Tada pomisliš ''Michaele, sad znaš što slijedi, OK, ne znaš''.
(Laughter)
Zareže vrh, baci ga preko ramena,
He snips it, throws the tip over his shoulder, and then grabs the scrotum and pushes it upward, and then his head dips down, obscuring my view. But what I hear is a slurping sound, and a noise that sounds like Velcro being yanked off a sticky wall, and I am not even kidding.
zatim zgrabi mošnje i gurne ih prema gore, tada mu se glava spusti i zakloni mi pogled, ali čujem srkanje, i zvuk koji podsjeća na zvuk trganja čička s ljepljivog zida, najozbiljnije. Možemo li pustiti video?
Can we roll the video? No, I'm kidding, we don't --
Šalim se -- nećemo -- (Smijeh)
(Laughter)
Mislim da je bolje objašnjavati slikama.
I thought it best to talk in pictures.
I onda učinim nešto što nikad nisam učinio na snimanju "Prljavih poslova".
I do something now I've never, ever done on a "Dirty Jobs" shoot, ever. I say, "Time out. Stop." You guys know the show, we use take one; we don't do take two. There's no writing, there's no scripting, there's no nonsense. We don't fool around, we don't rehearse -- we shoot what we get!
Kažem: ''Odmor. Stanite.'' Poznajete show, Nema pisanja, nema scenarija, nema gluposti. Ne tratimo vrijeme, ne uvježbavamo, snimamo ono što uhvatimo!
I said, "Stop. This is nuts." I mean --
Rekao sam: ''Stanite. Ovo je ludost.'' Mislim, razumijete --
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
"This is crazy. We can't do this."
Ovo je ludost. Ne možemo to učiniti.
And Albert's like, "What?"
A Albert se čudi: ''Što je?''
And I'm like, "I don't know what just happened, but there are testicles in this bucket, and that's not how we do it."
Ja kažem: ''Ne znam što se dogodilo, ali u ovoj kanti leže testisi, a to se tako ne radi.'' Odgovorio mi je: ''Mi to tako radimo.''
He said "Well, that's how we do it."
I said, "Why would you do it this way?" And before I even let him explain, I said, "I want to do it the right way, with the rubber bands."
Upitao sam: ''A zašto radite na taj način?" I prije nego sam mu dopustio da mi objasni rekao sam: ''Želim to učiniti ispravno, s gumenim vrpcama.''
And he says, "Like the Humane Society?"
I on mi maže: ''Kao prijatelji životinja?''
I said, "Yes, like the Humane Society. Let's do something that doesn't make the lamb squeal and bleed. We're on in five continents, dude! We're on twice a day on the Discovery -- we can't do this."
I ja kažem: ''Da, kao oni. Učinimo to tako da janje ne skviči i krvari -- prikazujemo se na pet kontinenata, stari.' Dvaput dnevno smo na Discovery Channelu -- ne možemo to učiniti.''
He says, "OK." He goes to his box and pulls out a bag of these little rubber bands. Melanie picks up another lamb, puts it on the post, band goes on the tail, band goes on the scrotum. Lamb goes on the ground, lamb takes two steps, falls down, gets up, shakes a little, takes another couple steps, falls down. I'm like, this is not a good sign for this lamb, at all. Gets up, walks to the corner. It's quivering, and it lies down and it's in obvious distress.
On kaže: ''OK:'' Ode do svoje kutije i izvuče vreću ovih malih gumenih vrpci. Melanie podigne drugo janje, stavi ga na postolje, jedna vrpca ide na rep, druga na mošnje. Janje stane na noge, napravi dva koraka, padne, podigne se, malo se strese, učini još dva koraka i padne. Pomislim kako ovo uopće nije dobro za janje. Podigne se, ode do kuta, drhti i legne u očaju.
And I'm looking at the lamb and I say, "Albert, how long? When does he get up?"
Pogledam janje i upitam: ''Alberte, koliko dugo će tako? Kada će se podignuti?''
He's like, "A day?"
On odgovori: ''Za jedan dan.''
I said, "A day! How long does it take them to fall off?"
Ja kaže: ''Za dan! A koliko treba da otpadnu?''
"A week."
''Tjedan dana.''
Meanwhile, the lamb that he had just done his little procedure on is, you know, he's just prancing around, bleeding stopped. He's, you know, nibbling on some grass, frolicking. And I was just so blown away at how completely wrong I was, in that second. And I was reminded how utterly wrong I am, so much of the time.
U međuvremenu, janje na kojem je Albert obavio postupak na svoj način trčkara okolo, krvarenje je prestalo. On, znate, gricka travu, igra se. Ostao sam zapanjen koliko sam pogriješio, u tom trenutku. I podsjetio sam se koliko sam često u potpunosti u krivu.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And I was especially reminded of what a ridiculously short straw I had that day, because now I had to do what Albert had just done, and there are like 100 of these lambs in the pen. And suddenly, this whole thing's starting to feel like a German porno, and I'm like --
Sjetio sam se i kako taj dan nisam imao sreće jer sam tada morao učiniti ono što je Albert upravo učinio, a oko sto janjaca je u toru, i iznenada me cijela situacija podsjetila na njemački porno film, a ja sam kao...
(Laughter)
Melanie podigne janje,
Melanie picks up the lamb, puts it on the post, opens it up. Albert hands me the knife. I go in, tail comes off. I go in, I grab the scrotum, tip comes off. Albert instructs, "Push it way up there." I do. "Push it further." I do.
stavi ga na postolje, otvori ga. Albert mi da nož. Uđem, otpada rep. Uđem, zgrabim mošnje, vrh otpada. Albert mi objasni: ''Gurni to jako gore.'' Ja to i napravim. ''Gurni dalje''. Učinim i to.
The testicles emerge. They look like thumbs, coming right at you. And he says, "Bite 'em. Just bite 'em off."
Pojave se testisi, izgledaju kao palčevi koji kreću prema tebi. I kaže mi: ''Zagrizi ih. Samo ih odgrizi.''
(Laughter)
I ja sam ga čuo, čuo sam što kaže.
And I heard him, I heard all the words --
(Smijeh)
(Laughter)
Kako sam dospio ovdje?
Like, how did I get here? How did -- I mean -- how did I get here?
Kako sam, mislim -- što radim ovdje?
It's just -- it's one of those moments where the brain goes off on its own, and suddenly, I'm standing there in the Rockies, and all I can think of is the Aristotelian definition of a tragedy. You know, Aristotle says a tragedy is that moment when the hero comes face to face with his true identity.
(Smijeh) To je samo -- to je jedan od trenutak kada se mozak sam isključi i ja sam odjednom tamo, na području Stjenjaka, i stalno mi na pamet pada Aristotelova definicija tragedije. Znate, Aristotel kaže da je tragedija trenutak kada se junak suočava s vlastitim identitetom.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And I'm like, "What is this jacked-up metaphor? I don't like what I'm thinking right now." And I can't get this thought out of my head, and I can't get that vision out of my sight, so I did what I had to do. I went in and I took them. I took them like this, and I yanked my head back. And I'm standing there with two testicles on my chin.
Pomislim: ''Kakva je ovo zamršena metafora? Ne sviđa mi se to o čemu upravo razmišljam.'' I ne mogu to izbaciti iz glave, i ne mogu tu sliku izbaciti iz glave, pa sam učinio što sam morao. Zgrabio sam ih. Zgrabio sam ih ovako, i zabacim glavu unatrag. I stojim tako s dva testisa na bradi.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And now I can't get -- I can't shake the metaphor.
I ne mogu se otarasiti metafore.
I'm still in "Poetics," in Aristotle, and I'm thinking -- out of nowhere, two terms come crashing into my head, that I hadn't heard since my classics professor in college drilled them there. And they are "anagnorisis" and "peripeteia." Anagnorisis and peripeteia. Anagnorisis is the Greek word for discovery. Literally, the transition from ignorance to knowledge is anagnorisis. It's what our network does; it's what "Dirty Jobs" is. And I'm up to my neck in anagnorises every single day. Great. The other word, peripeteia, that's the moment in the great tragedies -- Euripides and Sophocles. That's the moment where Oedipus has his moment, where he suddenly realizes that hot chick he's been sleeping with and having babies with is his mother. That's peripety, or peripeteia. And this metaphor in my head -- I've got anagnorisis and peripeteia on my chin --
U redu, još sam na poetici, Aristotelu, i odjednom mi se u glavi jave dva pojma koja nisam čuo otkad ih je moj profesor klasike na koledžu tamo umetnuo. To su anagnorisis i peripetija. Anagnorisis i peripetija. Anagnorisis je grčka riječ za prepoznavanje. Kod anagnorisisa se doslovno radi o prijelazu iz neznanja u znanje, ono što radi naša mreža, i to je bit "Prljavih poslova". A ja sam do grla u anagnorisisu svaki dan. Super. Druga riječ, peripetija, označava trenutak u velikim tragedijama - Euripid i Sofoklo, trenutak kada Edip ima svoj moment gdje iznenada shvati da je vrući komad s kojim spava i ima djecu njegova majka. U redu. To je peripetija ili peripeteia, po grčki. Ta metafora mi je u glavi - a anagnorisis i peripetija na bradi.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
I've got to tell you, it's such a great device, though. When you start to look for peripeteia, you find it everywhere. I mean, Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense," right? Spends the whole movie trying to help the little kid who sees dead people, and then -- boom! -- "Oh, I'm dead." Peripeteia. You know? It's crushing when the audience sees it the right way. Neo in "The Matrix," you know? "Oh, I'm living in a computer program. That's weird."
Moram vam priznati da je to odlično sredstvo. Kada jednom počnete tražiti peripetiju nalazite je svugdje. Npr., Bruce Wilis u ''Šestom čulu'' tijekom cijelog filma pokušava pomoći dječaku koji vidi mrtve ljude, i tada odjednom, bum - oh, ja sam mrtav - to je peripetija. Razumijete? Dirljivo je kad publika sagleda stvar na pravi način. Neo u Matrixu, znate? Pa ja živim u računalnom programu -- to je čudno. Ova otkrića dovode do iznenadnih spoznaja.
These discoveries that lead to sudden realizations. And I've been having them, over 200 dirty jobs, I have them all the time, but that one -- that one drilled something home in a way that I just wasn't prepared for. And, as I stood there, looking at the happy lamb that I had just defiled -- but it looked OK; looking at that poor other little thing that I'd done it the right way on, and I just was struck by -- if I'm wrong about that, and if I'm wrong so often, in a literal way, what other peripatetic misconceptions might I be able to comment upon?
Ja sam ih iskusio preko 200 s prljavim poslovima, i dolazim do njih stalno, ali ta jedna navela me da shvatim nešto na što nisam bio spreman. I dok sam stajao tako, promatrao sam janje koje sam oskvrnuo-- ali izgledalo je u redu. Gledajući u jadnička kojeg sam ispravno obradio, pomislio sam, ako sam u vezi toga pogriješio, i ako griješim tako često, doslovno, koje bih još peripetijske zablude mogao komentirati?
Because, look -- I'm not a social anthropologist, but I have a friend who is. And I talk to him.
Gledajte, ja nisam socijalni antropolog ali imam prijatelja koji to jest. Pričao sam s njim.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And he says, "Hey Mike, look. I don't know if your brain is interested in this sort of thing or not, but do you realize you've shot in every state? You've worked in mining, you've worked in fishing, you've worked in steel, you've worked in every major industry. You've had your back shoulder to shoulder with these guys that our politicians are desperate to relate to every four years, right?"
I kaže mi: '' Mike, gledaj, ne znam zanimaju li te takve stvari ili ne, ali znaš li da si snimao u svakoj državi? Bavio si se rudarstvom, ribarstvom, čelikom, radio si u svakoj većoj industriji. Radio si uz te ljude s kojima se naši političari očajnički poistovjećuju svake četiri godine, zar ne?''
I can still see Hillary doing the shots of rye, dribbling down her chin, with the steel workers. I mean, these are the people that I work with every single day. "And if you have something to say about their thoughts, collectively, it might be time to think about it. Because, dude, you know, four years." So, that's in my head, testicles are on my chin, thoughts are bouncing around. And, after that shoot, "Dirty Jobs" really didn't change, in terms of what the show is, but it changed for me, personally.
Još se sjećam Hillary kako pije viski koji joj se cijedi niz bradu uz radnike u čeličani. To su ljudi s kojima radim svaki dan. I ako se ima što reći o njihovom kolektivnom mišljenju možda bi trebao razmisliti o tome. Jer radi se o četiri godine. I sad, to mi je u glavi, testisi na bradi, misli mi se isprepliću. Nakon tog snimanja "Prljavi poslovi" nisu se promijenili, što se tiče same biti emisije, ali u meni se nešto promijenilo.
And now, when I talk about the show, I no longer just tell the story you heard and 190 like it. I do, but I also start to talk about some of the other things I got wrong; some of the other notions of work that I've just been assuming are sacrosanct, and they're not. People with dirty jobs are happier than you think. As a group, they're the happiest people I know. And I don't want to start whistling "Look for the Union Label," and all that happy-worker crap. I'm just telling you that these are balanced people who do unthinkable work. Roadkill picker-uppers whistle while they work, I swear to God -- I did it with them. They've got this amazing sort of symmetry to their life. And I see it over and over and over again.
I sada kada govorim o emisiji ne prepričam samo priču koju ste čuli i 190 poput te. To je istina, ali govorim i o nekim stvarima koje sam krivo shvatio, o nekim drugim vidovima posla za koje sam mislio da su sveti i shvatio da nisu. Ljudi koji se bave prljavim poslovima sretniji su nego što se misli. Grupno gledano, oni su najsretniji ljudi koje poznajem. I ne želim uljepšavati stvari i stvarati imidž sretnog radnika koji bezbrižno fućka. Samo vam govorim da su to uravnoteženi ljudi koji obavljaju nezamislive poslove. Ljudi koji kupe pregažene životinje s ceste fućkaju dok rade, kunem se Bogom, i ja sam to radio s njima. Njihov život posjeduje nevjerojatnu simetriju i ja to stalno primjećujem. Počeo sam tako razmišljati što bi se dogodilo
So I started to wonder what would happen if we challenged some of these sacred cows? Follow your passion -- we've been talking about it here for the last 36 hours. Follow your passion -- what could possibly be wrong with that? It's probably the worst advice I ever got.
da izazovemo jednu od tih svetih krava. Slijedite svoju strast -- o tome govorimo ovdje zadnjih 36 sati. Slijedite svoju strast -- što bi u tome moglo biti loše? To je najvjerojatnije najlošiji savjet koji sam ikad dobio.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Follow your dreams and go broke, right? I mean, that's all I heard growing up. I didn't know what to do with my life, but I was told if you follow your passion, it's going to work out.
Znate onu, slijedi svoje snove i budi švorc? To je sve o čemu sam slušao dok sam odrastao. Nisam znao što bih sa svojim životom, ali rekli su mi, ako slijediš svoju strast, sve će ispasti dobro.
I can give you 30 examples right now. Bob Combs, the pig farmer in Las Vegas who collects the uneaten scraps of food from the casinos and feeds them to his swine. Why? Because there's so much protein in the stuff we don't eat, his pigs grow at twice the normal speed, and he's one rich pig farmer. He's good for the environment, he spends his days doing this incredible service, and he smells like hell, but God bless him. He's making a great living. You ask him, "Did you follow your passion here?" and he'd laugh at you. The guy's worth -- he just got offered like 60 million dollars for his farm and turned it down, outside of Vegas. He didn't follow his passion. He stepped back and he watched where everybody was going, and he went the other way. And I hear that story over and over.
Mogu vam sada iz glave navesti 30 primjera - Bob Combs, uzgajivač svinja u Las Vegasu koji skuplja nepojedene ostatke hrane iz casinoa i njime hrani svoju svinju. Zašto? Zato jer je mnogo protein u hrani koju ne jedemo i njegova svinja raste duplo brže od normalnog, a on je bogat farmer, koji se brine za okoliš, provodi dane obavljajuči ovaj neobičan posao, i smrdi k'o sam vrag, ali Bog ga blagoslovio. On odlično živi. Pitate ga: ''Jesi li slijedio svoju strast pa stigao ovdje?'' a on bi vam se nasmijao. Upravo su mu ponudili 60 milijuna dolara za njegovu farmu a on je tu ponudu odbio, izvan Vegasa. Nije slijedio svoju strast. Napravio je korak untrag i pratio kuda svi idu te otišao drugim putem. I ja stalno čujem tu priču.
Matt Freund, a dairy farmer in New Canaan, Connecticut, who woke up one day and realized the crap from his cows was worth more than their milk, if he could use it to make these biodegradable flowerpots. Now he's selling them to Walmart, right? Follow his passion? The guy's -- come on.
Matt Froind, mljekar u New Canaanu u Connecticutu jedno se jutro probudio i shvatio da izmet njegovih krava vrijedi više od njihova mlijeka, i da ga može koristiti kao biorazgradive lonce za cvijeće Sada ih prodaje Walmartu. Slijedite svoju strast, dajte, ljudi.
So I started to look at passion, I started to look at efficiency vs. effectiveness. As Tim talked about earlier, that's a huge distinction. I started to look at teamwork and determination. And basically, all those platitudes they call "successories" that hang with that schmaltzy art in boardrooms around the world right now, that stuff -- it's suddenly all been turned on its head.
Počeo sam razmišljati o strasti, i o efikasnosti nasuprot efektivnosti, kao što je Tim rekao ranije, razlika je velika. Počeo sam razmišljati o timskom radu i odlučnosti, i o svim onim plitkim ljudima koje nazivaju sljedbenicima a koji se okupljaju uz tu sentimentalnu umjetnost u salama za sastanke po cijelom svijetu upravo sada. To -- se u trenutku izokrenulo.
Safety. Safety first is ... Going back to OSHA and PETA and the Humane Society: What if OSHA got it wrong? I mean -- this is heresy, what I'm about to say -- but what if it's really safety third? Right?
Sigurnost -- sigurnost prije svega to sam ja koji se vraćam k Agenciji za zaštitu zdravlja i sigurnost na radu, PETA-i i prijateljima životinja. A što ako je Agencija u krivu? Mislim, hereza je to što ću reći, ali je li sigurnost zapravo na trećem mjestu? Je li tako?
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
No, I mean, really. What I mean to say is: I value my safety on these crazy jobs as much as the people that I'm working with, but the ones who really get it done -- they're not out there talking about safety first. They know that other things come first -- the business of doing the work comes first, the business of getting it done.
Ne, ozbiljan sam. Ono što želim reći jest da mi je bitna sigurnost pri obavljanju tih ludih poslova onoliko koliko je i ljudima s kojima radim ali oni koji to stvarno i obave, ne govore najprije o sigurnosti. Znaju da su druge stvari bitnije-- taj posao je na prvom mjestu, i njegovo obavljanje.
And I'll never forget, up in the Bering Sea, I was on a crab boat with the "Deadliest Catch" guys -- which I also work on in the first season. We were about 100 miles off the coast of Russia: 50-foot seas, big waves, green water coming over the wheelhouse, right? Most hazardous environment I'd ever seen, and I was back with a guy, lashing the pots down. So I'm 40 feet off the deck, which is like looking down at the top of your shoe, you know, and it's doing this in the ocean. Unspeakably dangerous.
Nikad to neću zaboraviti, bio sam na koći za lov rakova s dečkima iz najsmrtonosnijeg lova, s kojima sam isto radio u prvoj sezoni. Mi smo oko 200 km od obale Rusije otvoreno more, veliki valovi, zelena voda napada strojarnicu, dobro? Najopasnije okružje u kojem sam ikad bio a ja sam bio otraga s jednim tipom, osiguravao kotlove. I tako sam bio oko 130 m od palube, a to je kao da gledate u vrh svoje cipele, i brod se valja ovako. Nevjerojatno opasno.
I scamper down, I go into the wheelhouse and I say, with some level of incredulity, "Captain -- OSHA?"
Pobjegnem i uđem u strojarnicu, i kažem uz dozu nepovjerenja, ''Kapetane, OSHA (Agencija za zaštitu zdravlja i sigurnost na radu).''
And he says, "OSHA? Ocean." And he points out there.
A on kaže: ''OSHA? -- ocean'' (engleski izgovor riječi). I uperi prstom tamo.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
But in that moment, what he said next can't be repeated in the Lower 48. It can't be repeated on any factory floor or any construction site. But he looked at me and said, "Son," -- he's my age, by the way, he calls me "son," I love that -- he says, "Son, I'm the captain of a crab boat. My responsibility is not to get you home alive. My responsibility is to get you home rich."
Ali u tom trenutku, ono što je rekao ne može se ponoviti u 48 država SAD-a. Ne može se ponoviti ni u kojoj tvornici ili gradilištu. Ali pogledao me i rekao: ''Sine -- usput, iste je dobi kao i ja, i zove me sine, to mi je super -- kaže: ''Sine, ja sam kapetan koće za lov rakova. Moja odgovornost nije da te kući dovedem živa. Moja je odgovornost dovesti te kući bogata.''
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
You want to get home alive, that's on you." And for the rest of that day -- safety first.
Ako želiš doći kući živ, to je tvoja stvar. I ostatak toga dana, sigurnost je bila na prvom mjestu.
I mean, I was like -- So, the idea that we create this sense of complacency when all we do is talk about somebody else's responsibility as though it's our own, and vice versa. Anyhow, a whole lot of things. I could talk at length about the many little distinctions we made and the endless list of ways that I got it wrong. But what it all comes down to is this: I've formed a theory, and I'm going to share it now in my remaining 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
Ja sam bio -- Mi zapravo stvaramo taj lažni osjećaj samozadovoljstva a sve što radimo jest to da pričamo o tuđoj odgovornosti kao da je naša, i obrnuto. Mnogo je tu stvari u pitanju. Mogao bih nadugo govoriti o mnogo malih promjena koje smo napravili i o beskrajnoj listi stvari koje sam krivo shvatio. Ali sve se svodi na ovo. Razvio sam teoriju, i sada ću je s vama podijeliti u ove preostale 2 minute i 30 sekundi.
It goes like this: we've declared war on work, as a society -- all of us. It's a civil war. It's a cold war, really. We didn't set out to do it and we didn't twist our mustache in some Machiavellian way, but we've done it. And we've waged this war on at least four fronts, certainly in Hollywood. The way we portray working people on TV -- it's laughable. If there's a plumber, he's 300 pounds and he's got a giant butt crack, admit it. You see him all the time. That's what plumbers look like, right? We turn them into heroes, or we turn them into punch lines. That's what TV does. We try hard on "Dirty Jobs" not to do that, which is why I do the work and I don't cheat.
Dakle to ide ovako -- proglasili smo rat radu, kao društvu, svi mi. To je građanski rat. Zapravo se radi o hladnom ratu. Mi to nismo svjesno učinili niti smo spremali kakve zavjere na neki Machiavellistički način, ali to smo učinili. I ovaj rat smo vodili na barem četiri fronte, pogotovo u Hollywoodu. Način na koji prikazujemo radnike na televiziji je smiješan. Ako se radi o vodoinstalateru, ima 150 kg i stražnjice mu viri iz hlača, priznajte. Stalno ga viđate. Tako vodoinstalateri i izgledaju, zar ne? Mi ih pretvaramo u junake, ili u postaju poante priče. To televizija radi. Mi u "Prljavim poslovima" se trudimo to ne raditi, zato ja obavljam posao i ne varam pri tome.
But, we've waged this war on Madison Avenue. So many of the commercials that come out there in the way of a message -- what's really being said? "Your life would be better if you could work a little less, didn't have to work so hard, got home a little earlier, could retire a little faster, punch out a little sooner." It's all in there, over and over, again and again.
Ali mi smo ovaj rat vodili na aveniji Madison. Toliko reklama koje izlaze -- u obliku poruke, a što nam zapravo govore? Vaš bi život bio bolji da možete raditi malo manje, da ne morate raditi tako naporno, da možete doći kući ranije, da možete u mirovinu ranije, da možete izaći s posla ranije, sve je to u porukama, uvijek ispočetka, i opet.
Washington? I can't even begin to talk about the deals and policies in place that affect the bottom-line reality of the available jobs, because I don't really know; I just know that that's a front in this war.
Washington -- ne mogu niti započeti govoriti o dogovorima i politikama na mjestu koje utječe na realnost raspoloživih poslova jer zapravo ne znam. I znam da je to fronta u ovom ratu.
And right here, guys -- Silicon Valley. I mean -- how many people have an iPhone on them right now? How many people have their BlackBerry? We're plugged in; we're connected. I would never suggest for a second that something bad has come out of the tech revolution. Good grief, not to this crowd.
I to upravo ovdje, ljudi, u Silikonskoj dolini. Koliko ljudi trenutno ima sa sobom iPhoneove? Koliko ih ima Blackberryje? Uključeni smo, povezani smo. Nisam ni u kojem trenutku želio reći da je nešto loše proizašlo iz tehnološke revolucije. Bar to ne bih rekao ovakvoj publici.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
But I would suggest that innovation without imitation is a complete waste of time. And nobody celebrates imitation the way "Dirty Jobs" guys know it has to be done. Your iPhone without those people making the same interface, the same circuitry, the same board, over and over -- all of that -- that's what makes it equally as possible as the genius that goes inside of it.
Ali mislim da je inovacija bez imitacije čisto gubljenje vremena. A nitko ne slavi imitaciju na način na koji "Prljavi poslovi" znaju to raditi. Vaš iPhone bez ljudi koji čine isto sučelje, iste strujne krugove, iste ploče, opet i opet. Sve je zbog toga moguće jednako kao i genij unutar toga.
So, we've got this new toolbox. You know? Our tools today don't look like shovels and picks. They look like the stuff we walk around with. And so the collective effect of all of that has been this marginalization of lots and lots of jobs. And I realized, probably too late in this game -- I hope not, because I don't know if I can do 200 more of these things -- but we're going to do as many as we can. And to me, the most important thing to know and to really come face to face with, is that fact that I got it wrong about a lot of things, not just the testicles on my chin. I got a lot wrong.
Imamo i novu kutiju za alat, znate. Naš današnji alat ne izgleda poput lopata i pijuka. Izgledaju poput stvari s kojima šetamo uokolo. Tako je ukupni učinak svega toga bila marginalizacija mnogo poslova. I shvatio sam, vjerojatno prekasno -- nadam se ipak da nije tako, jer ne znam mogu li još 200 ovakvih poslova obaviti, ali obavit ćemo ih što više možemo. Za mene je najvažnije znati i suočiti se s činjenicom da sam pogriješio u vezi mnogo stvari, ne samo u vezi testisa na bradi. Sve sam krivo shvatio.
So, we're thinking -- by "we," I mean me --
I tako mislimo, pod ''mi'' mislim ''ja''
(Laughter)
da trebamo govoriti o javnoj kampanji za posao,
that the thing to do is to talk about a PR campaign for work -- manual labor, skilled labor. Somebody needs to be out there, talking about the forgotten benefits. I'm talking about grandfather stuff, the stuff a lot us probably grew up with but we've kind of -- you know, kind of lost a little.
ručni rad, kvalificirani rad. Netko mora govoriti o zaboravljenim pogodnostima. Govorim o stvarima koje nam je govorio naš djed. Stvarima s kojima nas je većina odrasla ali koje smo, onako, pomalo zaboravili.
Barack wants to create two and a half million jobs. The infrastructure is a huge deal. This war on work that I suppose exists, has casualties like any other war. The infrastructure is the first one, declining trade school enrollments are the second one. Every single year, fewer electricians, fewer carpenters, fewer plumbers, fewer welders, fewer pipe fitters, fewer steam fitters. The infrastructure jobs that everybody is talking about creating are those guys -- the ones that have been in decline, over and over. Meanwhile, we've got two trillion dollars, at a minimum, according to the American Society of Civil Engineers, that we need to expend to even make a dent in the infrastructure, which is currently rated at a D minus.
Barack želi stvoriti dva i pol milijuna poslova. Infrastruktura je jako bitna. Ovaj rat radu, koji pretpostavljam, postoji, ima žrtve kao i svaki drugi rat. Infrastruktura je prva, a smanjeni upis u strukovne škole je druga. Svake godine je sve manje električara, stolara, vodoinstalatera, manje zavarivača, postavljača cijevi manje mehaničara. Poslovima u infrastrukturi za koje svi govore da će stvoriti bave se ti ljudi. Oni kojih je stalno sve manje. U međuvremenu, dobili smo najmanje dva bilijuna dolara, prema Američkom društvu građevinara koje moramo potrošiti kako bismo se barem dotaknuli infrastrukture koja je trenutno ocijenjena s -2.
So, if I were running for anything -- and I'm not -- I would simply say that the jobs we hope to make and the jobs we hope to create aren't going to stick unless they're jobs that people want. And I know the point of this conference is to celebrate things that are near and dear to us, but I also know that clean and dirty aren't opposites. They're two sides of the same coin, just like innovation and imitation, like risk and responsibility, like peripeteia and anagnorisis, like that poor little lamb, who I hope isn't quivering anymore, and like my time that's gone.
I tako, da se natječemo za bilo što, a ja to ne radim, rekao bih da poslovi koje ćemo se truditi stvoriti i da se poslovi koje se nadamo stvoriti neće zadržati osim ako to ne budu poslovi koje ljudi žele. I znam da smo u dijelu konferencije koji slavi stvari koje su nam bliske i drage, ali isto tako znam da čisto i prljavo nisu oprečni termini. Oni su dvije strane iste medalje, kao inovacija i imitacija, kao rizik i odgovornost, kao peripetija i anagnorisis, kao ono malo janje za koje se nadam da više ne drhti, i kao moje vrijeme koje je isteklo.
It's been great talking to you. And get back to work, will you?
Uživao sam govoreći vam, a sada se vratite na posao, može?
(Applause)
(Pljesak)