The "Dirty Jobs" crew and I were called to a little town in Colorado, called Craig. It's only a couple dozen square miles. It's in the Rockies. And the job in question was sheep rancher.
Meid kutsuti "Mustade Tööde" võttetrupiga väiksesse Colorado linna nimega Craig. See on mõnikümmend ruutkilomeetrit suur, asub Kaljumägedes. Ja kõnealune töö oli lambakasvatus. Minu ülesanne selles saates, kes seda näinud pole - see on üsna lihtne.
My role on the show, for those of you who haven't seen it -- it's pretty simple. I'm an apprentice, and I work with the people who do the jobs in question. And my responsibilities are to simply try and keep up, and give an honest account of what it's like to be these people for one day in their life. The job in question: herding sheep. Great.
Ma olen õpipoiss ja töötan koos inimestega, kes antud tööd päriselt teevad. Minu ülesanne on lihtsalt proovida kõike kaasa teha ja anda aus ülevaade, mis tunne on olla nende inimeste nahas ühel päeval nende elus. Kõnealune töökoht - lammaste karjatamine. Tore. Me lähme Craigi ja registreerime ennast hotelli sisse
We go to Craig and we check into a hotel, and I realize the next day that castration is going to be an absolute part of this work. Normally, I never do any research at all. But this is a touchy subject, and I work for the Discovery Channel, and we want to portray accurately whatever it is we do. And we certainly want to do it with a lot of respect for the animals. So I call the Humane Society and I say, "Look, I'm going to be castrating some lambs. Can you tell me the deal?"
ja järgmisel päeval ma saan teada, et kastreerimine on kindlasti osa sellest tööst. Tavaliselt ei tee ma mingit eeluuringut. Aga, see on tundlik teema, ma töötan Discovery Channelis, ja me tahame kõike, mida me teeme, täpselt portreteerida, ja kindlasti olla samas loomade suhtes lugupidavad. Nii ma helistasin Humaansuse Ühingusse ja ütlesin: "Vaadake, ma pean lambaid kastreerima,
And they're like, "Yeah, it's pretty straightforward."
kuidas see käib?"
They use a band, basically, a rubber band, like this, only a little smaller. This one was actually around the playing cards I got yesterday --
Ja nad ütlevad: "Jah see on üsna lihtne." Nad kasutavat sisuliselt sellist kummipaela, ainult väiksemat. See siin oli tegelikult ümber kaardipaki, mille ma eile sain,
(Laughter) But it had a certain familiarity to it.
aga see oli üsna sarnane. Ja ma ütlesin: "No kuidas see täpselt käib?"
And I said, "Well, what exactly is the process?"
Ja nad ütlesid: "Pael seotakse ümber saba, tihedalt.
And they said, "The band is applied to the tail, tightly. And then another band is applied to the scrotum, tightly. Blood flow is slowly retarded; a week later the parts in question fall off.
Ja teine pael seotakse ümber munandite, tihedalt. Vere vool aeglustub, nädal hiljem kukuvad kõnealused osad ära."
"Great -- got it." OK, I call the SPCA to confirm this. They confirm it. I also call PETA just for fun, and they don't like it, but they confirm it. OK, that's basically how you do it.
"Tore! Sain aru!" Okei, ma helistan kinnituseks SPCA-sse - nad kinnitavad seda. Ma helistan PETA-sse, nalja pärast, neile see ei meeldi, aga nad kinnitavad. Olgu, sisuliselt nii see käib. Nii et järgmisel päeval lähen ma kohale.
So the next day I go out. And I'm given a horse and we go get the lambs and we take them to a pen that we built, and we go about the business of animal husbandry.
Mulle antakse hobune ja me lähme lammastele järgi ja toome nad aedikusse, mille me ehitasime, ja tegeleme loomakasvatusega.
Melanie is the wife of Albert. Albert is the shepherd in question. Melanie picks up the lamb, one hand on both legs on the right, likewise on the left. Lamb goes on the post, she opens it up. Alright. Great. Albert goes in, I follow Albert, the crew is around. I always watch the process done the first time before I try it. Being an apprentice, you know, you do that. Albert reaches in his pocket to pull out, you know, this black rubber band, but what comes out instead is a knife. And I'm like, "Hmm, that's not rubber at all," you know?
Melanie on Alberti naine. Albert on lambakasvataja, kellest juttu on. Melanie tõstab talle üles - kahe käega - üks käsi kahel jalal paremal, samamoodi vasakul. Tall pannakse posti otsa, ta tõmbab jalad laiali. Hea küll. Tore. Albert läheb sisse, mina järele, võttemeeskond ümberringi. Ma alati vaatan enne pealt, kui esimest korda mingit tööd proovin. Õpipoisid, nagu teate, teevad nii. Albert paneb käe taskusse, et võtta välja, teate, see must kummipael, aga selle asemel ilmub välja nuga. Ja mina ütlen, et see ei ole ju kumm.
(Laughter)
Ja ta tegi noa randmeliigutusega lahti ja see peegeldas päikest,
And he kind of flicked it open in a way that caught the sun that was just coming over the Rockies, it was very --
mis just üle mägede paistis, see oli väga -
(Laughter)
see oli muljetavaldav.
It was ... it was impressive.
In the space of about two seconds, Albert had the knife between the cartilage of the tail, right next to the butt of the lamb, and very quickly, the tail was gone and in the bucket that I was holding. A second later, with a big thumb and a well-calloused forefinger, he had the scrotum firmly in his grasp. And he pulled it toward him, like so, and he took the knife and he put it on the tip. "Now, you think you know what's coming, Michael, You don't, OK?"
Umbes kahe sekundiga oli nuga Albertil saba kõhre vahel, lamba tagumiku kõrval, ja äkki oli saba ämbris, mida ma hoidsin. Sekund hiljem hoidis ta pöidla ja parkunud nimetissõrme vahel mundandikotti kõvasti kinni, ja ta tõmbas seda enda poole, sedasi, ja ta võttis noa ja pani selle otsa peale. Kui sa, Michael, arvad, et sa tead, mis edasi saab, siis sa ei tea.
(Laughter)
Ta lõikab otsa ära ja viskab selle üle õla,
He snips it, throws the tip over his shoulder, and then grabs the scrotum and pushes it upward, and then his head dips down, obscuring my view. But what I hear is a slurping sound, and a noise that sounds like Velcro being yanked off a sticky wall, and I am not even kidding.
siis haarab munandikoti ja lükkab selle üles, ja siis ta kummardub, varjates mu vaadet, aga ma kuulen mingit lurisevat häält, ja heli, mis kõlab nagu rebitaks mingit takja-tüüpi kinnitust lahti, ja ma ei tee isegi nalja. Kas saaks video käima panna?
Can we roll the video? No, I'm kidding, we don't --
Ei ma teen nalja, me ei ... (Naer)
(Laughter)
Ma arvasin, et parem on rääkida piltlikult.
I thought it best to talk in pictures.
Ma teen nüüd midagi sellist, mida ma "Mustade Tööde" võtetel kunagi teinud pole.
I do something now I've never, ever done on a "Dirty Jobs" shoot, ever. I say, "Time out. Stop." You guys know the show, we use take one; we don't do take two. There's no writing, there's no scripting, there's no nonsense. We don't fool around, we don't rehearse -- we shoot what we get!
Ma ütlen: "Aeg maha. Stopp." Te teate seda saadet, me kasutame esimest võtet, me ei teegi teist võtet. Ei ole mingit käsikirja, ei mingit mõttetust. Me ei lollita, me ei tee proovi. Me filmime seda, mis on!
I said, "Stop. This is nuts." I mean --
Ma ütlesin: "Stopp. See on hull." Ma mõtlen, teate -
(Laughter)
(Naer)
"This is crazy. We can't do this."
See on hullumeelsus. Nii ei saa.
And Albert's like, "What?"
Ja Albert ütles: "Mida?"
And I'm like, "I don't know what just happened, but there are testicles in this bucket, and that's not how we do it."
Ja mina: "Ma ei saa aru, mis just toimus, aga selles ämbris on munandid, ja nii see ei käi." Tema ütles: "Noh, meie teeme nii."
He said "Well, that's how we do it."
I said, "Why would you do it this way?" And before I even let him explain, I said, "I want to do it the right way, with the rubber bands."
Mina ütlesin: "Miks te seda nii teete?" Ja enne kui ma tal midagi seletada lasksin, ütlesin: "Ma tahan seda õigel viisil teha, kummipaeltega."
And he says, "Like the Humane Society?"
Ja tema ütleb: "Nagu Humaansuse Ühing?"
I said, "Yes, like the Humane Society. Let's do something that doesn't make the lamb squeal and bleed. We're on in five continents, dude! We're on twice a day on the Discovery -- we can't do this."
Ja mina ütlesin: "Jah, nagu Humaansuse Ühing. Teeme nii, et tall ei kiunuks ega jookseks verd - kuule, meie saadet näidatakse viiel mandril. Meid näidatakse Discovery Channelis kaks korda päevas - me ei saa seda teha."
He says, "OK." He goes to his box and pulls out a bag of these little rubber bands. Melanie picks up another lamb, puts it on the post, band goes on the tail, band goes on the scrotum. Lamb goes on the ground, lamb takes two steps, falls down, gets up, shakes a little, takes another couple steps, falls down. I'm like, this is not a good sign for this lamb, at all. Gets up, walks to the corner. It's quivering, and it lies down and it's in obvious distress.
Ta ütleb: "Hea küll." Ta läheb oma kasti juurde ja tõmbab välja kotikese kummipaeltega. Melanie tõstab järgmise talle üles, paneb ta posti otsa, pael pannakse ümber saba, pael ümber munandikoti. Tall pannakse maha, tall astub kaks sammu, kukub maha, tõuseb üles, väriseb pisut, astub veel kaks sammu, kukub maha. Mina ütlen, see küll tallele head ei ennusta. Tõuseb üles, läheb nurka, väriseb, ja heidab külili ja tal on ilmselgelt paha.
And I'm looking at the lamb and I say, "Albert, how long? When does he get up?"
Ja ma vaatan seda talle ja küsin: "Albert, kui kaua? Millal ta jalule tõuseb?"
He's like, "A day?"
Tema ütleb: "Üks päev."
I said, "A day! How long does it take them to fall off?"
Mina ütlesin, "Päev! Millal need ära kukuvad?"
"A week."
"Nädalaga."
Meanwhile, the lamb that he had just done his little procedure on is, you know, he's just prancing around, bleeding stopped. He's, you know, nibbling on some grass, frolicking. And I was just so blown away at how completely wrong I was, in that second. And I was reminded how utterly wrong I am, so much of the time.
Samal ajal see tall, kelle kallal ta just oma protseduuri rakendas, teate, ta lihtsalt kepsutab ringi, verejooks jäi seisma. Tema, teate, näksib muru, kepsleb rõõmsalt. Ja ma olin lihtsalt vapustatud, kui väga ma tol hetkel eksisin. Ja mulle meenus, kui sügavalt ja tihti ma üleüldse eksin.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
And I was especially reminded of what a ridiculously short straw I had that day, because now I had to do what Albert had just done, and there are like 100 of these lambs in the pen. And suddenly, this whole thing's starting to feel like a German porno, and I'm like --
Ja eriti tuli mulle meelde, kui väga mul tol päeval ei vedanud, sest nüüd pidin ma tegema sama, mida Albert just tegi, ja neid tallesid oli aedikus umbes 100, ning äkki tundus see kõik nagu Saksa porno, ja ma ... (Naer)
(Laughter)
Melanie tõstab talle üles,
Melanie picks up the lamb, puts it on the post, opens it up. Albert hands me the knife. I go in, tail comes off. I go in, I grab the scrotum, tip comes off. Albert instructs, "Push it way up there." I do. "Push it further." I do.
paneb ta posti otsa, tõmbab jalad laiali. Albert ulatab mulle noa. Ma lõikan saba ära. Ma haaran munandikotist kinni, lõikan otsa ära. Albert juhendab: "Lükka see üles." Ma lükkan. "Lükka veel." Ma lükkan.
The testicles emerge. They look like thumbs, coming right at you. And he says, "Bite 'em. Just bite 'em off."
Munandid tulevad välja, nad näevad välja nagu pöidlad, vaatavad sinu poole. Ja ta ütleb: "Hammusta. Lihtsalt hammusta nad ära."
(Laughter)
Ja ma kuulsin teda, ma kuulsin kõiki sõnu.
And I heard him, I heard all the words --
(Naer)
(Laughter)
Nagu kuidas - kuidas ma siia sattusin?
Like, how did I get here? How did -- I mean -- how did I get here?
Kuidas ... teate ... ma mõtlen ... kuidas ma siia sattusin?
It's just -- it's one of those moments where the brain goes off on its own, and suddenly, I'm standing there in the Rockies, and all I can think of is the Aristotelian definition of a tragedy. You know, Aristotle says a tragedy is that moment when the hero comes face to face with his true identity.
(Naer) See on üks neid hetki, kui aju läheb oma radu, ja äkki ma seisan seal, Kaljumägedes, ja suudan mõelda ainult Aristotelese definitsioonist sõnale tragöödia. Aristoteles ütleb, et tragöödia on hetk, kui kangelane seisab silmitsi oma identiteediga.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
And I'm like, "What is this jacked-up metaphor? I don't like what I'm thinking right now." And I can't get this thought out of my head, and I can't get that vision out of my sight, so I did what I had to do. I went in and I took them. I took them like this, and I yanked my head back. And I'm standing there with two testicles on my chin.
Ja ma mõtlen: "Mis metafoor see selline on? Mulle ei meeldi, millest ma praegu mõtlen." Ja ma ei saa seda mõtet peast välja, ja ma ei saa seda pilti silme eest ära. Nii ma siis tegin, mida pidin. Ma läksin ja haarasin nad. Haarasin nad nii ja nõksatasin oma näo tagasi. Ja ma seisan seal, kaks munandit lõual.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
And now I can't get -- I can't shake the metaphor.
Ja nüüd ma ei saa - ei saa sellest metafoorist lahti.
I'm still in "Poetics," in Aristotle, and I'm thinking -- out of nowhere, two terms come crashing into my head, that I hadn't heard since my classics professor in college drilled them there. And they are "anagnorisis" and "peripeteia." Anagnorisis and peripeteia. Anagnorisis is the Greek word for discovery. Literally, the transition from ignorance to knowledge is anagnorisis. It's what our network does; it's what "Dirty Jobs" is. And I'm up to my neck in anagnorises every single day. Great. The other word, peripeteia, that's the moment in the great tragedies -- Euripides and Sophocles. That's the moment where Oedipus has his moment, where he suddenly realizes that hot chick he's been sleeping with and having babies with is his mother. That's peripety, or peripeteia. And this metaphor in my head -- I've got anagnorisis and peripeteia on my chin --
Olgu, ma olen ikka Aristotelese "Poeetika" juures ja mõtlen - ei kuskilt tormavad mulle pähe kaks terminit, mida ma kuulsin viimati siis, kui mu klassikaprofessor need mulle pähe tuupis. Ja need on anagnorisis ja peripeteia. Anagnorisis ja peripeteia. Anagnorisis on kreeka keeles avastus. Otsetõlkes, üleminek teadmatusest teadmisesse on anagnorisis. See on see, mida meie kanal teeb, mida "Mustad Tööd" teeb. Ja ma olen iga jumala päev kaelani anagnorisistes. Tore. Teine sõna, peripeteia, see on hetk suurtes tragöödiates, teate - Euripides ja Sophokles - hetk, kus Oidipusel on see hetk, kui ta saab äkki aru, et kuum tšikk, kellega ta maganud ja lapsi teinud on, on ta ema. Okei. See on peripeteia ehk ootamatu pööre. Ja see metafoor mu peas - mul on anagnorisis ja peripeteia lõual.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
I've got to tell you, it's such a great device, though. When you start to look for peripeteia, you find it everywhere. I mean, Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense," right? Spends the whole movie trying to help the little kid who sees dead people, and then -- boom! -- "Oh, I'm dead." Peripeteia. You know? It's crushing when the audience sees it the right way. Neo in "The Matrix," you know? "Oh, I'm living in a computer program. That's weird."
Ma ütleks, see on väga hea võte. Kui sa hakkad peripeteiat otsima, leiad sa teda igalt poolt. Bruce Willis filmis "Kuues meel", eks? Üritab terve filmi aidata väikest last, kes näeb surnuid, ja siis, põmm - oh, ma olen surnud - peripeteia. Mõistate? See mõjub purustavalt, kui publik seda õigesti näeb. Neo "Matrix'is", eks? "Oh, ma elan arvutiprogrammis" - kui imelik. Need on avastused, mis viivad äkilise mõistmiseni.
These discoveries that lead to sudden realizations. And I've been having them, over 200 dirty jobs, I have them all the time, but that one -- that one drilled something home in a way that I just wasn't prepared for. And, as I stood there, looking at the happy lamb that I had just defiled -- but it looked OK; looking at that poor other little thing that I'd done it the right way on, and I just was struck by -- if I'm wrong about that, and if I'm wrong so often, in a literal way, what other peripatetic misconceptions might I be able to comment upon?
Ja neid olnud 200 musta töö jooksul kogu aeg, aga see - see puuris mulle ajusse midagi, milleks ma valmis polnud. Ning seal seistes, vaadates rõõmsat talle, keda ma just rüvetanud olin - aga ta nägi hea välja. Vaadates seda teist vaesekest, kelle peal ma õiget meetodit kasutasin, ja olin rabatud, et kui ma selles eksisin, ja kui ma nii sageli otseselt eksin, siis mida mul teiste peripateetike väärarusaamade kohta öelda on?
Because, look -- I'm not a social anthropologist, but I have a friend who is. And I talk to him.
Sest vaadake, ma pole antropoloog, aga mul on sõber, kes on. Ja ma räägin temaga.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
And he says, "Hey Mike, look. I don't know if your brain is interested in this sort of thing or not, but do you realize you've shot in every state? You've worked in mining, you've worked in fishing, you've worked in steel, you've worked in every major industry. You've had your back shoulder to shoulder with these guys that our politicians are desperate to relate to every four years, right?"
Ja ta ütleb: "Kuule Mike. Kuule, ma ei tea, kas su aju see huvitab või mitte, aga kas tead, et sa oled filminud igas osariigis? Sa oled töötanud kaevurina, kalurina, terasetööstuses, sa oled töötanud igas suures tööstusharus. Sa oled õlg õla kõrval seisnud nende meestega, kellega meie poliitikud iga nelja aasta tagant sidet luua üritavad, eks?
I can still see Hillary doing the shots of rye, dribbling down her chin, with the steel workers. I mean, these are the people that I work with every single day. "And if you have something to say about their thoughts, collectively, it might be time to think about it. Because, dude, you know, four years." So, that's in my head, testicles are on my chin, thoughts are bouncing around. And, after that shoot, "Dirty Jobs" really didn't change, in terms of what the show is, but it changed for me, personally.
Ma näen ikka Hillaryt rukkipõllul pildistamas, lõug märg, koos terasetöölistega. Aga need on inimesed, kellega ma iga päev töötan. "Ja kui sul on nende inimeste mõtete kohta midagi öelda, kollektiivselt, siis äkki tasuks sellele mõelda. Sest, kuule, neli aastat." Sellised mõtted on mu peas, munandid lõual, mõtted hüplevad ringi. Pärast seda võtet "Mustad Tööd" ei muutnud, see on ikka sama saade, aga see muutis mind, isiklikult.
And now, when I talk about the show, I no longer just tell the story you heard and 190 like it. I do, but I also start to talk about some of the other things I got wrong; some of the other notions of work that I've just been assuming are sacrosanct, and they're not. People with dirty jobs are happier than you think. As a group, they're the happiest people I know. And I don't want to start whistling "Look for the Union Label," and all that happy-worker crap. I'm just telling you that these are balanced people who do unthinkable work. Roadkill picker-uppers whistle while they work, I swear to God -- I did it with them. They've got this amazing sort of symmetry to their life. And I see it over and over and over again.
Nüüd, kui ma saatest räägin, ei räägi ma enam lihtsalt seda lugu, mida te kuulsite, ja veel 190 sarnast lugu. Ma räägin neist, aga räägin ka oma eksimustest, mõnedest arusaamadest töö kohta, mida ma olen puutumatuks pidanud, mis seda aga ei ole. Musta tööd tegevad inimesed on õnnelikumad kui te arvate. Rühmana on nad õnnelikemad inimesed, keda tean. Ma ei hakka heietama ametiühingutest ega mingit õnneliku töölise jama. Ütlen teile lihtsalt, et need on rahulolevad inimesed, kes teevad mõeldamatuid töid. Tee äärest surnud loomade korjajad vilistavad tööd tehes, ma vannun. Tegin seda koos nendega. Nende elu on imeliselt sümmeetriline. Ma näen seda aina uuesti ja uuesti. Nii ma hakkasin mõtlema, mis juhtuks,
So I started to wonder what would happen if we challenged some of these sacred cows? Follow your passion -- we've been talking about it here for the last 36 hours. Follow your passion -- what could possibly be wrong with that? It's probably the worst advice I ever got.
kui me mõned Pühad Lehmad küsimärgi alla seaksime. Järgi oma kirge - me oleme viimased 36 tundi siin sellest rääkinud. Järgi oma kirge - mis võiks selles valet olla? See on arvatavasti üks halvimaid nõuandeid üldse.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Follow your dreams and go broke, right? I mean, that's all I heard growing up. I didn't know what to do with my life, but I was told if you follow your passion, it's going to work out.
Teate, järgi oma unistusi ja mine pankrotti, eks? Ma kuulsin seda lapsena kogu aeg. Ma ei teadnud, mida oma eluga teha, aga mulle öeldi, et kui sa järgid oma kirge, läheb kõik hästi.
I can give you 30 examples right now. Bob Combs, the pig farmer in Las Vegas who collects the uneaten scraps of food from the casinos and feeds them to his swine. Why? Because there's so much protein in the stuff we don't eat, his pigs grow at twice the normal speed, and he's one rich pig farmer. He's good for the environment, he spends his days doing this incredible service, and he smells like hell, but God bless him. He's making a great living. You ask him, "Did you follow your passion here?" and he'd laugh at you. The guy's worth -- he just got offered like 60 million dollars for his farm and turned it down, outside of Vegas. He didn't follow his passion. He stepped back and he watched where everybody was going, and he went the other way. And I hear that story over and over.
Ma võin teile kohe 30 näidet tuua - Bob Combs, seafarmer Las Vegases, kes korjab kasiinodest toidujäätmeid ja söödab neid oma sigadele. Miks? Sest kraamis, mida me järgi jätame, on nii palju valku, et tema sead kasvavad kaks korda kiiremini kui tavaliselt, ja ta on rikas seafarmer, ja ta on keskkonnale kasulik, ja ta veedab oma päevad, osutades seda imelist teenust, ja ta haiseb nagu põrgu, aga Jumal õnnistab teda. Ta teenib väga hästi. Küsi temalt: "Kas sa järgisid oma kirge selle saavutamiseks?" ja ta naeraks su üle. Talle pakuti tema farmi eest just 60 miljonit dollarit ja ta keeldus sellest, Vegase külje all. Ta ei järginud oma kirge. Ta astus sammu tagasi ja vaatas, mida kõik teised tegid, ning tegi teistmoodi. Ja selliseid lugusid kuulen ma ikka ja jälle.
Matt Freund, a dairy farmer in New Canaan, Connecticut, who woke up one day and realized the crap from his cows was worth more than their milk, if he could use it to make these biodegradable flowerpots. Now he's selling them to Walmart, right? Follow his passion? The guy's -- come on.
Matt Froind, piimatalunik New Canaanis, Connecticutis, kes ühel päeval ärgates mõistis, et tema lehmade sitt oleks suurema väärtusega kui piim, kui ta teeks sellest biolagunevaid lillepotte. Nüüd müüb ta neid Walmartile. Järgi oma kirge - ole nüüd.
So I started to look at passion, I started to look at efficiency vs. effectiveness. As Tim talked about earlier, that's a huge distinction. I started to look at teamwork and determination. And basically, all those platitudes they call "successories" that hang with that schmaltzy art in boardrooms around the world right now, that stuff -- it's suddenly all been turned on its head.
Nii hakkasin seda kire-küsimust uurima. Ma uurisin efektiivsust ja tulemuslikkust - nagu Tim just rääkis, neil on suur vahe. Ma uurisin meeskonnatööd ja otsustavust, ja kõiki neid sõnakõlkse, mis peaksid kindlustama edu, ja mis ripuvad imalate loosungitena nõupidamisruumides üle kogu maailma. Kõike seda - ühtäkki oli kõik see pea peale keeratud.
Safety. Safety first is ... Going back to OSHA and PETA and the Humane Society: What if OSHA got it wrong? I mean -- this is heresy, what I'm about to say -- but what if it's really safety third? Right?
Ohutus - ohutus ennekõike? Tulles tagasi OSHA ja PETA ja Humaansuse Ühingu juurde. Mis siis, kui OSHA eksib? See on ketserlik, mida ma kohe ütlen, aga mis siis, kui ohutus on tähtsuselt kolmas? Eks?
(Laughter)
(Naer)
No, I mean, really. What I mean to say is: I value my safety on these crazy jobs as much as the people that I'm working with, but the ones who really get it done -- they're not out there talking about safety first. They know that other things come first -- the business of doing the work comes first, the business of getting it done.
Ei, päriselt ka. Ma pean silmas, et ma hindan oma turvalisust nendel hulludel töödel, nagu ka need inimesed, kellega ma töötan, aga need, kes selle töö tehtud saavad, nemad ei räägi ohutusest ennekõike. Nad teavad, et teised asjad on tähtsamad - töötegemine on kõige tähtsam, töö tuleb ära teha.
And I'll never forget, up in the Bering Sea, I was on a crab boat with the "Deadliest Catch" guys -- which I also work on in the first season. We were about 100 miles off the coast of Russia: 50-foot seas, big waves, green water coming over the wheelhouse, right? Most hazardous environment I'd ever seen, and I was back with a guy, lashing the pots down. So I'm 40 feet off the deck, which is like looking down at the top of your shoe, you know, and it's doing this in the ocean. Unspeakably dangerous.
Ma ei unusta kunagi, kuidas ma olin Beringi merel krabilaeval koos "Ohtlikuil vetel" tegijatega, saate esimesel hooajal. Olime Venemaa rannikust umbes 100 miili kaugusel, 15-meetrised suured lained, roheline vesi lendab üle roolikambri, kõige ohtlikum keskkond, mida ma kunagi näinud olen. Ja ma olin ühe tüübiga laeva tagaosas, 12 meetrit tekist kõrgemal, mis tundub nagu vaataks oma kingi, ja teate, ta teeb ookeanis nii. Kirjeldamatult ohtlik.
I scamper down, I go into the wheelhouse and I say, with some level of incredulity, "Captain -- OSHA?"
Ma koperdan alla, lähen roolikambrisse ja ütlen mõningase umbusuga hääles: "Kapten, OSHA."
And he says, "OSHA? Ocean." And he points out there.
Ja ta ütleb: "OSHA? Ookean." Ja osutab välja.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
But in that moment, what he said next can't be repeated in the Lower 48. It can't be repeated on any factory floor or any construction site. But he looked at me and said, "Son," -- he's my age, by the way, he calls me "son," I love that -- he says, "Son, I'm the captain of a crab boat. My responsibility is not to get you home alive. My responsibility is to get you home rich."
Aga mida ta tol hetkel ütles, seda ei saa mandriosariikides korrata. Seda ei tohi öelda üheski tehasehoones ega ehitusplatsil. Ta vaatas mind ja ütles: "Poeg," - ta on muideks minu vanune ja kutsub mind pojaks - ta ütleb: "Poeg, ma olen krabilaeva kapten. Minu ülesanne pole sind elusana koju viia. Minu ülesanne on sind rikkana koju viia."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
You want to get home alive, that's on you." And for the rest of that day -- safety first.
Kui tahad elusana koju saada, on see sinu teha. Ja kogu ülejäänud päeva, ohutus ennekõike.
I mean, I was like -- So, the idea that we create this sense of complacency when all we do is talk about somebody else's responsibility as though it's our own, and vice versa. Anyhow, a whole lot of things. I could talk at length about the many little distinctions we made and the endless list of ways that I got it wrong. But what it all comes down to is this: I've formed a theory, and I'm going to share it now in my remaining 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
Ma - Nii et mõte, et me loome mingi - enesega rahulolutunde, kuigi me samas räägime kellegi teise vastutusest nagu oleks see meie oma, ja vastupidi. Igatahes, palju asju. Ma võiksin pikalt rääkida väikestest asjadest, ja oma lõpututest eksimustest. Aga lõppkokkuvõttes jõuab see selleni. Mul on teooria, mida ma teiega jagan oma ülejäänud 2 minuti ja 30 sekundi jooksul.
It goes like this: we've declared war on work, as a society -- all of us. It's a civil war. It's a cold war, really. We didn't set out to do it and we didn't twist our mustache in some Machiavellian way, but we've done it. And we've waged this war on at least four fronts, certainly in Hollywood. The way we portray working people on TV -- it's laughable. If there's a plumber, he's 300 pounds and he's got a giant butt crack, admit it. You see him all the time. That's what plumbers look like, right? We turn them into heroes, or we turn them into punch lines. That's what TV does. We try hard on "Dirty Jobs" not to do that, which is why I do the work and I don't cheat.
See kõlab nii - me oleme tööle sõja kuulutanud, ühiskonnana, meie kõik. See on kodusõda. Külm sõda, tegelikult. Me ei plaaninud seda, ega keerutanud makjavellistlikult oma vuntse, aga me tegime seda. Ja me kuulutasime sõja vähemalt neljal rindel, kindlasti Hollywoodis. Viis, kuidas tööinimesi televiisoris kujutatakse, on naeruväärne. Kui seal on torumees, siis on ta 150-kilone ja suure tagumikupraoga, tunnistage. Te näete teda kogu aeg. Torumehed ongi sellised, eks? Me teeme neist kangelased või naerualused. Seda teeb televisioon. "Mustade Tööde" saates katsume seda mitte teha, mille pärast ma seda tööd teengi ega tee sohki.
But, we've waged this war on Madison Avenue. So many of the commercials that come out there in the way of a message -- what's really being said? "Your life would be better if you could work a little less, didn't have to work so hard, got home a little earlier, could retire a little faster, punch out a little sooner." It's all in there, over and over, again and again.
Aga me kuulutasime sõja Madisoni Avenüül. Sealt tulevad paljud reklaamid - sõnumi poolest, mida neis öeldakse? Su elu oleks parem, kui saaksid vähem töötada, kui sa ei peaks vaeva nägema, kui saaks varem koju tulla, kui saaks varem pensionile, kui saaks varem tööelust välja, seda aina korrutatakse.
Washington? I can't even begin to talk about the deals and policies in place that affect the bottom-line reality of the available jobs, because I don't really know; I just know that that's a front in this war.
Washington - ma ei hakka rääkima kõigist lepingutest ja poliitikatest, mis mõjutavad olemasolevaid töökohti tegelikkuses, sest ma ei teagi. Tean ainult, et ka see on üks sõjarinne.
And right here, guys -- Silicon Valley. I mean -- how many people have an iPhone on them right now? How many people have their BlackBerry? We're plugged in; we're connected. I would never suggest for a second that something bad has come out of the tech revolution. Good grief, not to this crowd.
Ja siinsamas Silicon Valleys. Kui paljudel on praegu iPhone kaasas? Kui paljudel on Blackberry? Me oleme sisse lülitatud, ühendatud. Ma ei ürita üldse väita, et tehnoloogilises revolutsioonis on midagi halba. Issake, mitte selles seltskonnas.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
But I would suggest that innovation without imitation is a complete waste of time. And nobody celebrates imitation the way "Dirty Jobs" guys know it has to be done. Your iPhone without those people making the same interface, the same circuitry, the same board, over and over -- all of that -- that's what makes it equally as possible as the genius that goes inside of it.
Aga ma ütleks, et innovatsioon ilma imitatsioonita on ajaraiskamine. Ja keegi ei ülista imiteerimist, nii nagu "Mustade Tööde" tegelased seda teevad. Sinu iPhone pole midagi ilma nende inimesteta, kes teevad seda elektroonikat üha uuesti ja uuesti. Kõik see teeb selle võimalikuks samavõrra kui nutikus, millega see leiutati.
So, we've got this new toolbox. You know? Our tools today don't look like shovels and picks. They look like the stuff we walk around with. And so the collective effect of all of that has been this marginalization of lots and lots of jobs. And I realized, probably too late in this game -- I hope not, because I don't know if I can do 200 more of these things -- but we're going to do as many as we can. And to me, the most important thing to know and to really come face to face with, is that fact that I got it wrong about a lot of things, not just the testicles on my chin. I got a lot wrong.
Meil on uus tööriistakast, teate. Meie tänased tööriistad pole labidad ja kirkad. Need on asjad, mida me kaasas kanname. Ja selle lõpptulemusena on paljud tööd kõrvale tõrjutud. Ja ma mõistsin, loodetavasti mitte liiga hilja - ma ei tea, kas saan veel 200 lugu teha, aga proovime nii palju kui saame. Ja minu jaoks on kõige tähtsam teada, ja silmitsi seista sellega, et ma olen paljude asjade suhtes eksinud, mitte ainult munandite suhtes oma lõual. Ma eksisin palju.
So, we're thinking -- by "we," I mean me --
Niisiis me mõtleme - meie all pean silmas ennast -
(Laughter)
et tööle võiks teha avalike suhete kampaania -
that the thing to do is to talk about a PR campaign for work -- manual labor, skilled labor. Somebody needs to be out there, talking about the forgotten benefits. I'm talking about grandfather stuff, the stuff a lot us probably grew up with but we've kind of -- you know, kind of lost a little.
käsitööle, oskustööle. Keegi peab avalikkusele unustatud plusspooltest rääkima. Nagu vanaisad. Jutud, mida paljud meist lapsena kuulsid. Aga me oleme kuidagi natuke ära eksinud.
Barack wants to create two and a half million jobs. The infrastructure is a huge deal. This war on work that I suppose exists, has casualties like any other war. The infrastructure is the first one, declining trade school enrollments are the second one. Every single year, fewer electricians, fewer carpenters, fewer plumbers, fewer welders, fewer pipe fitters, fewer steam fitters. The infrastructure jobs that everybody is talking about creating are those guys -- the ones that have been in decline, over and over. Meanwhile, we've got two trillion dollars, at a minimum, according to the American Society of Civil Engineers, that we need to expend to even make a dent in the infrastructure, which is currently rated at a D minus.
Barack tahab luua 2,5 miljonit töökohta. Infrastruktuur on tähtis. Sõjas töö vastu on ohvrid, nagu igas teises sõjas. Infrastruktuur on esimene. Kahanev õpilaste arv kutsekoolides on teine. Igal aastal, vähem elektrikuid, vähem tislereid, vähem torumehi, vähem keevitajaid, vähem torupaigaldajaid, vähem küttepaigaldajaid. Infrastruktuuritöökohad, millest kõik räägivad, on need töömehed. Need, kelle hulk pidevalt kahaneb. Samas on meil vaja vähemalt 2 triljonit dollarit, Ameerika Tsiviilinseneride Ühingu sõnul, et natukenegi parandada infrastruktuuri, mis praegu vastab hindele D-.
So, if I were running for anything -- and I'm not -- I would simply say that the jobs we hope to make and the jobs we hope to create aren't going to stick unless they're jobs that people want. And I know the point of this conference is to celebrate things that are near and dear to us, but I also know that clean and dirty aren't opposites. They're two sides of the same coin, just like innovation and imitation, like risk and responsibility, like peripeteia and anagnorisis, like that poor little lamb, who I hope isn't quivering anymore, and like my time that's gone.
Nii et kui ma kuhugi kandideeriks, mida ma ei tee, siis ma ütleks, et töökohad, mida me luua loodame, ei jää püsima, kui inimesed neid töid ei taha. Ja ma tean, et selle konverentsi mõte on kiita asju, mis on meile lähedased ja kallid, aga ma tean ka, et puhas ja must pole vastandid. Nad on sama mündi kaks külge, just nagu innovatsioon ja imitatsioon, nagu risk ja vastutus, nagu peripeteia ja anagnorisis, nagu see vaene tall, kes loodevatasi enam ei värise, ja nagu mu aeg, mis on otsas.
It's been great talking to you. And get back to work, will you?
Oli tore teiega rääkida, ja minge tagasi tööle, eks?
(Applause)
(Aplaus)