Picture it: a big, sweaty, tattooed man in a cowboy hat and chaps, is in the ring as the arena full of fans cheer him on. Their hero: "Cowboy" Gator Magraw. Gator bounces off the ropes and is quickly body-slammed to the mat. His wild opponent leaps into the air, crashing down onto Gator's rib cage. Gator struggles to breathe, wondering: "Is this really what my father wanted for me?"
想像一下,一個高大、 滿身是汗、刺青的男人, 戴著牛仔帽穿著牛仔皮褲, 站在競技場裡, 滿場的觀眾為他歡呼。 他們的英雄: 「牛仔」鱷魚麥克羅。 鱷魚利用邊繩反彈, 很快就被抱舉重摔在墊上。 他狂野的對手跳到空中, 向下撞擊鱷魚的肋骨。 鱷魚掙扎地呼吸,心想: 「我老爸真的希望我這樣嗎?」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
That wild man in the chaps ... was me.
那個穿著牛仔皮褲的狂野男人 就是我。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
(Cheers)
(歡呼)
And the answer to the question, surprisingly, is yes.
而那個問題的答案,出乎意料, 是「沒錯」。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I grew up watching professional wrestling with my dad. And like him, I loved everything about it: the showmanship, the athletic skill, the drama. I'd be this little boy, bouncing all over our living room, pretending to be my favorite wrestlers from TV. My dad actually reminded me a little bit of Hulk Hogan, but I was Hulk Hogan and he was Andre the Giant. I'd get all serious on him and say things like, "Dad ... someday I am going to be world heavyweight champion." And he would usually smile and very calmly say, "OK, then I guess I can count on you to be my retirement fund."
我是看職業摔角長大的, 和老爸一起看。 和他一樣,我熱愛摔角的一切: 表演能力、運動員技巧、 戲劇性。 我是這個在客廳裡彈來彈去的男孩, 假裝是電視上我最愛的摔角手。 我老爸其實會讓我想到霍克霍肯, 但我才是霍克霍肯, 他是巨人安德烈。 我對他變得很認真,說:「老爸, 總有一天,我要成為 世界重量級冠軍。」 通常,他會微笑,並很冷靜地說: 「好,那麼,我想 我的退休金就靠你了。」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
When I was 16, a small wrestling show came to my little town in Minnesota. I couldn't believe it. Nothing like that had ever come to my town before. So I got to the arena early in the morning the day of the show, waiting out in the parking lot to see if I could spot some wrestlers pulling up in their cars. It wasn't as creepy as it sounds. But I could definitely tell who the wrestlers were, just the way they walked. They were tall and confident and intimidating, with their tank tops and Zubaz and fanny packs. Why wouldn't I want to be them?
我十六歲時, 有個小型的摔角表演, 來到我住的明尼蘇達小鎮。 我無法置信。 從來沒有像那樣的演出 會來我的小鎮。 所以,演出當天一早 我就去了競技場, 等在外面的停車場, 碰運氣看能不能遇見一些 去停車的摔角手。 並沒有聽起來那麼詭異。 我絕對能分辨誰是摔角手, 僅僅靠觀察他們走路的方式。 他們又高又有自信,令人生畏, 穿著背心式上衣、 斑馬褲、戴著腰包, 我怎麼可能不想變成他們?
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
All I could think about was who are these people, and what are they like? How did they become wrestlers? So before the show started, I walked into this tiny arena -- more like a gymnasium -- and I asked them if I could help set up the wrestling ring. "Sure, kid. No problem." And then I pleaded with them to show me some wrestling moves. "Sure, kid. No problem." Man, they would just punch and kick me -- hard! But I never complained. They would come to my town for one night every couple of months that year, and then -- poof! -- next day, they were gone.
我唯一能想的就是,這些人是誰、 他們是怎樣的? 他們如何變成摔角手的? 在表演開始前, 我走進這個很小的競技場── 更像是個體育館── 我問他們能不能讓我 幫忙架設摔角場。 「當然,孩子,沒問題。」 接著,我懇求他們 做些摔角動作給我看。 「當然,孩子,沒問題。」 天哪,他們就直接 揍我、踢我──很用力! 但我都沒抱怨。 那年,他們每幾個月 就會來我的鎮上一個晚上, 接著──噗(消散聲)── 他們隔天就不見了。
By the next year, they finally told me about an actual wrestling training camp that one of the wrestlers was running, and I begged my parents to sign me up. Next thing I knew, I was a high school senior by day and wrestling in front of live audiences by night. I had this giant poster of an alligator hanging on my bedroom wall. So when I needed to come up with a wrestling name at the last minute and Jesse "The Body" Ventura was already taken --
隔年, 他們終於告訴我 一個真正的摔角訓練營, 是其中一位摔角手經營的, 我求我父母讓我報名。 突然間,我就變成了 白天是高中高年級生, 晚上則在現場觀眾面前摔角。 我臥房牆壁上掛了 一隻鱷魚的巨型海報。 我很急迫地需要想出一個摔角藝名, 傑西「筋肉人」溫圖拉 已經有人用了──
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I went with "Gator." I also wrestled in a t-shirt and camouflage pants because that's what I had in my closet. I hadn't quite figured out how to develop my own persona yet, but I was learning. It was sort of like an apprenticeship. But I was a wrestler. And my dad would come to all my matches wearing a t-shirt that said, "Papa Gator" across the front.
我就用了「鱷魚」。 我也穿著 T 恤和迷彩褲在摔角, 因為我的衣櫃中只有這些。 我還沒想到要如何 發展出我自己的角色, 但我在學習。 那有點像是學徒見習。 但我是個摔角手。 我老爸會來看我所有的比賽, 他穿的 T 恤正面 寫著「鱷魚爸爸」。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And he'd brag to his friends about how his son was going to pay for his retirement someday.
他會向他的朋友炫耀, 說有一天他退休就靠他兒子養了。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I would've.
我的確會養他的。
Not long after I started wrestling, my dad unexpectedly passed away. And as you can imagine, especially as a teenage boy, it destroyed me. If you've ever lost someone, you know what a difficult time that can be. Your mind -- it's not working right. The whole thing is just so surreal. I wanted to feel normal again, even if it was for just a second, so I went back to wrestling almost immediately. Wrestling belonged to me and my dad, you know? So there I was, sitting in the locker room, getting ready for a match within days of my dad passing away. He was gone. And sitting there alone -- it felt like I was hiding. But it also felt like I needed to be there.
我開始摔角後沒多久, 我老爸意外過世了。 你們應該可以想像, 特別我才是個青少年, 這件事毀了我。 如果你曾失去過某人, 你知道那段時間會有多艱難。 你的大腦無法正常運作。 一切感覺好不真實。 我想要再次感覺正常, 即使只有一秒鐘也好, 所以我回去摔角,幾乎是立刻回去。 摔角是屬於我和我老爸的,懂嗎? 所以,我在那裡, 坐在更衣室裡, 在我老爸過世後沒幾天 就在準備比賽。 他不在了。 獨自坐在那裡── 感覺好像我在躲藏。 但我也覺得我需要在那裡。
One of the wrestlers who'd been on the scene a long time knew what I was going through, and he came over to see how I was holding up. I couldn't get the words out. I just said, "I don't know what I'm doing." And then we just sat there in silence -- just ... silence. Before he got up to get ready for his own match, he gave me this piece of advice that would change the entire direction of my life. He told me the best wrestlers are just themselves, but "turned up." He said successful wrestlers find the traits within themselves they're the strongest at and make those the focus of who they become in the ring.
長時間在現場的一位摔角手 知道我經歷了什麼, 他過來看看我的狀況好不好。 我一個字也說不出來。 我只說:「我不知道我在做什麼。」 我們就沉默地坐在那裡── 僅是沉默著。 在他起身去準備他的比賽之前, 他給了我一個建議, 完全改變了我人生的方向。 他說最好的摔角手只做自己, 但是「全力發揮」。 他說,成功的摔角手 在他們自己的內在 找到他們最強的特質, 然後在場內就專注展現那些特質。
So there I sat -- a scared teenager who didn't know who he was or why he was even wrestling anymore. I looked around the locker room at some of the other wrestlers, and I thought, "I look so different. How can I ever be like them?" And then it hit me. That's the moment I realized I didn't have to be like them. What I did have to do was find out: What did it mean to be me? What made me unique, and how could I use it to my advantage? I knew I wasn't a chiseled athlete like some of these guys, but I really didn't care. So the first thing I thought was, "How can I amplify something as simple as: comfortable with my own body?" I didn't know. And then I thought: Speedo.
所以,我坐在那裡── 一個害怕的青少年, 不知道自己是誰, 不再知道他為什麼要摔角了。 我環視了更衣室,看著其他摔角手, 心想: 「我看起來好不同。 我怎麼可能變成像他們一樣。」 我突然意識到, 那一刻,我了解到, 我不需要像他們。 我要做的是找出: 身為我的意義是什麼? 是什麼讓我獨一無二、 我又要如何把它變成我的優勢? 我知道我不並像一些人 是天生的運動員, 但我不在乎。 我想到的第一件事是: 「我如何擴大像『對我自己的身體 感到舒服』這麼簡單的事?」 我不知道。 接著我想到: 泳裝。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
Or "trunks," as we call them in wrestling. Yeah, trunks. I could be this big guy who was comfortable wearing these little trunks in front of a bunch of strangers. So I ditched the t-shirt and camouflage pants, and Gator's new wardrobe was born.
或「平口四角短褲」, 在摔角中我們稱之為「trunks」。 是的,平口四角短褲。 我這個大個子 可以自自在在穿著四角短褲 呈現在一群陌生人面前。 所以我扔了 T 恤和迷彩褲, 鱷魚的新戲服就誕生了。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I was also pretty good at drawing cartoons, so I wondered if I could turn that up. I could design my own wrestling costumes, so each pair of trunks would have its own unique design and color, all of them completely different -- and extremely comfortable, by the way.
我也很擅長畫卡通, 所以我好奇是否能發揮這點。 我可以設計自己的摔角服裝, 所以每一件四角短褲都有 它自己獨特的設計和顏色, 每一件都完完全全不同── 順道一提,它們穿起來也極舒服。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I was also the funny kid in school, believe it or not. So I thought maybe I could turn that up. Maybe I could go from the boy who made his buddies laugh to the man who could rally hundreds or thousands. So I committed to the idea that my character wasn't going to be as scary as some of the others. I'd be hilarious from the moment I walked into the arena. With every wrestling match, I dug deeper. I found out that I could laugh at myself. So this guy would dance and sing his entrance music all the way to the ring. That was dancing, by the way.
我在學校也是負責搞笑的人, 信不信由你。 所以我心想,也許我可以發揮這點。 也許我可以從一個逗伙伴笑的男孩, 轉變成能夠團結成千上百人的男人。 所以我投身到這個 「我的角色不會像其他一些 角色那麼嚇人」的想法當中。 我走上競技場的那一刻起, 我就會是滑稽的。 隨著每一場摔角比賽,我投入更多。 我發現我可以笑我自己。 所以,這個傢伙會一路唱唱跳跳 自己的主題曲進場。 對了,我剛那是在跳舞。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I found out that I was an OK wrestler, but I was an even better entertainer. And turning myself up made me unforgettable to the fans. I was trying to find those things about me -- the simple things that were special, and then ask, "How can I turn them up?"
我發現我是個還可以的摔角手, 但我是個更棒的表演者。 而自我發揮的結果 是粉絲對我難以忘懷。 我在試圖找到我的特質── 簡單但特別的特質, 接著來問:「我要如何發揮它們?」
Now, I knew I wanted my character to be a man's man like my dad was. I thought, "What's more of a man's man than a cowboy?" And that's when Gator became "Cowboy" ... Gator ... Yeah, I needed a last name. I thought about it until my head hurt. I couldn't come up with anything. I'm sitting there watching TV one night, flipping through the channels, and this commercial comes on about a country singer who had just won an Entertainer of the Year award. Tim McGraw. He's a cool cowboy with a great last name. And I liked his music. It was just all part of my process. But I just kept turning myself up until I became Cowboy Gator Magraw!
我知道我希望我的角色 是像老爸那種男人中的男人。 我心想:「有什麼比牛仔 還更能代表男人中的男人?」 從此,鱷魚就變成了 「牛仔」鱷魚 ...... 是啊,我需要個姓氏。 我想到頭都痛了,仍然想不出來。 有天晚上,坐著看電視,隨意轉台, 看到了一個廣告, 內容是剛剛贏得 年度表演者獎的鄉村歌手。 提姆麥克羅。 他是個酷牛仔,姓氏又很好聽。 且我喜歡他的音樂。 這都是我的過程的一部份。 但我就不斷地自我發揮, 直到我成為牛仔鱷魚麥克羅!
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
And I knew that if I kept turning myself up and pushing myself harder, the opportunities would come. And then it finally happened. In the middle of the night, I got a phone call. It was the call I wish my dad was around to hear. The WWE, the biggest wrestling organization in the world, wanted me to come and be a part of Monday Night Raw. Yes -- all of my hard work and miles on the road were finally paying off. I got to walk down the WWE Raw entrance ramp on live television --
我知道如果我不斷自我發揮, 更用力逼我自己, 機會就會來臨。 而它終於發生了。 在大半夜, 我接到一通電話。 是那通我希望我老爸 能在旁邊一起聽的電話。 WWE(世界摔角娛樂), 世界最大的摔角組織, 想要我去擔任星期一晚上 節目中的一個角色。 是的,我所有的努力 和走過的路終於都有回報了。 我得以在電視直播中走在 WWE 節目的進場坡道上──
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
dressed up as a fake security guard --
穿得像是個假保安人員──
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
to escort another wrestler to the ring.
護送另一位摔角手到場上。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Sure, I was disappointed I didn't get to wrestle, but very few wrestlers get any kind of call from the WWE. Maybe one in a few hundred. And becoming Cowboy Gator Magraw is what got me there. So instead of walking away that day, I decided to turn myself up again and become the best security guard I could. In fact, I did it so well, I was the only guard to get a close-up on TV that night. That's a big deal, you know?
當然,我很失望,我沒上台摔角, 但很少有摔角手能接到 WWE 那樣子的電話。 也許幾百人中才有一人。 是因為變成牛仔鱷魚麥克羅 才讓我走到這一步。 所以那天,我並沒有一走了之, 我決定再一次自我發揮, 極盡所能扮演最好的保安人員。 事實上,我做得太好了, 我是唯一在電視上 有特寫鏡頭的保安人員。 這很了不起,你們知道嗎?
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I got to sit backstage that entire day with some of the most famous pro wrestlers in the world, some of which were heroes of mine as a kid. And I got to listen to them and learn from them, and for that day, I was accepted as one of them.
那整天,我得以坐在後台, 和一些世界最知名的 職業摔角手在一起, 有些是我兒時的英雄。 我得以傾聽他們、向他們學習, 而那一天, 我被接受成為他們的一份子。
Maybe my experience with the WWE wasn't ideal. I mean, I didn't get to wrestle. But it made me work harder, turning myself up louder year after year. I was becoming the biggest version of myself in the ring, and other people took notice. Before I knew it, I'd gone from wrestling maybe once a month in Minnesota to as often as four times a week all over the United States on the independent wrestling circuit. I was literally living my dream.
也許我在 WWE 的 經歷並不是很理想。 我是指,我沒上台摔角。 但那讓我更努力, 一年又一年,把我自己發揮到更好。 我在場上變成了我自己最棒的版本, 而其他人注意到了。 在我察覺之前, 我已經從在明尼蘇達 大約一個月摔角一次, 變成一週就能在全美的 獨立摔角聯合組織 有四場摔角比賽這麼頻繁。 我真的實現了我的夢。
While wrestling over the next few years, I suffered a pretty bad shoulder injury right around the same time my wife and I found out that we were expecting our first child. I know what you're thinking, but believe me when I say those two events are completely unrelated.
不過在接下來幾年的摔角, 我被蠻嚴重的肩傷所苦, 大約同時,我太太和我發現, 我們的第一個孩子也要到來了。 我知道你們在想什麼, 但相信我,這兩件事完全無關。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
But I needed shoulder surgery, and I wanted to be home with my family. It was my turn to be a dad.
但,我的肩膀需要動手術, 且我想在家陪我的家人。 該我當老爸了。
So on July 27, 2007, I wrestled my final match, and walked away from professional wrestling to pursue the next chapter of my life. And as time passed, the strangest thing started to happen. I found out that once someone has been turned up, it's pretty hard to turn them down. I left the ring but Gator stayed with me, and I use the turned-up version of myself every day. My beautiful wife has been with me through this entire journey. And by the way -- she does not like pro wrestling.
所以,在 2007 年 7 月 27 日, 我進行了最後一場摔角賽, 然後離開了職業摔角, 去追尋我人生的下一章。 隨時間過去, 奇妙的事情開始發生。 我發現,當一個人發揮起來之後, 就很難再還原回去。 我離開了摔角,但鱷魚還與我同在, 且我每天用的還是 我已發揮出來的版本。 我美麗的太太陪我走過這整段旅程。 順道一提,她不喜歡職業摔角。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Like, at all.
完全不喜歡。
But she was always my biggest fan. She still is. She knows there's always going to be some part of Gator Magraw in here, and she wants our daughter and twin sons to discover themselves the way that I did, but probably with fewer body slams and steel chair shots to the head. I mean, do you know how many times she's had to remind me not to clothesline the referees at my kid's soccer games?
但她始終是我的頭號粉絲。 她仍然是。 她知道永遠都會有 一部份的鱷魚麥克羅在這裡, 她想要我們的女兒 和雙胞胎兒子自己去發現, 像我當初的方式, 但可能少一些背摔 和鐵椅砸頭的攻擊。 我的意思是,你們知道 她提醒了我多少次 在我孩子的足球比賽時 別對裁判用金臂勾嗎?
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I mean, it was just the one time, and my daughter was clearly fouled!
我是說,我只犯過一次, 那次很明顯我女兒被犯規!
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
As a parent now, I've begun to realize that my dad wanted something much more valuable than a retirement fund. Like most parents, he just wanted his kids to reach their fullest potential. I'm trying to teach my children that turning yourself up is just not some perfect idea of how to be great, it's a way of living -- constantly looking for what makes you different and how you can amplify it for the world to see. And by the way, my kids don't like wrestling, either.
現在身為父母,我開始 了解到我老爸想要的 遠比退休金更有價值。 就像大部份的父母, 他只想要他的孩子發揮全部的潛能。 我試著教導我的孩子 發揮自己,並不只是個 要如何變偉大的完美想法, 而是一種生活方式── 要經常尋找是什麼讓你與眾不同, 以及你能如何放大它,讓世界看見。 順道一提,我的孩子也不喜歡摔角。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
But that's OK with me, because they each have their own unique talents that can be turned up just like the rest of us. My one son -- he's a whiz at electronics. So maybe helping him turn up makes him become the next Steve Jobs. My other son and my daughter -- they're great at art, so maybe helping them turn up their gifts helps them become the next Pablo Picasso.
但我覺得沒關係, 因為他們每個人都有 獨特的才華等著要發揮, 和我們所有人一樣。 我的一個兒子是電子學奇才。 所以也許協助他發揮, 會讓他變成下一個賈伯斯。 我的另一個兒子 和我女兒對藝術很行, 所以也許協助他們發揮天賦, 會讓他們變成下一個畢卡索。
You never know what you have the ability to do until you dig. And don't be afraid to put yourself out there. I mean, look around. They say that if you get nervous in front of an audience, just imagine them in their underwear. But then I think, "Hey, I've wrestled in less."
若沒去發掘,你永遠不知道 你能做到什麼。 不要害怕讓自己呈現出來。 我的意思是,看看四周。 有人說,如果你在觀眾面前會緊張, 就想像他們穿著內褲。 但我接著想:「嘿, 我摔角時穿得更少耶。」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
Look, the wrestling circus doesn't need to come to your town before you get an invitation to be the real you -- the bigger, more stunning version of yourself. It doesn't even necessarily come from our parents. Turning yourself up means looking inward toward our true selves and harnessing the voice that says, "Maybe, just maybe, I am more than I thought I was."
摔角表演團不需要到你的鎮上, 你也能成為真正的自己── 你自己更強大、更出色的版本。 甚至未必來自我們的父母。 發揮自己,意味著 向內看向真實的自我, 並駕馭那個聲音: 「也許,只是也許, 我比我想像的還要更好。」
Thank you.
謝謝。
(Applause)
(掌聲)