Bigger welcome! Hello, San Francisco! TEDx – oh my God, blinding light! Hi, everybody! How are you? (Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so... My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years, I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want. Within reason! My husband's here. So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom, in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in, if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary. For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show. Five days a week, I go live in forty cities and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck. Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now? That is a hundred million people! That's insane! And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing, which is also insane, it's called "In-laws". I move in with families across America – (Laughter) You guessed it! – who are at war with their in-laws. We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody, we open up Pandora's box, and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner, and talk about the real stuff. And that's what I want to talk to you about. I'm here for you. I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes about how to get what you want. So I want you to take a millisecond right now and think about what you want. You! And I want you to be selfish. Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now! (Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon. What do you want? And here's the deal. I don't want it to sound good to other people. Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill. Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody, now that's motivation. (Laughter) So, I want to know: What do you want? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income? Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love? What is it? Get it, right here. You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something. That's part of the problem. You won't pick. So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want. And frankly, getting what you want is simple. But notice I didn't say it was easy. It's very simple. In fact, if you think about it, we live in the most amazing moment in time. So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be, you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes, you want to figure out how to take care of the elders and start a new hospice center, you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what? You can walk into a book store – right now! – and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts on how the hell you do it. You could Google it. And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs documenting the step, by step, by step transformation that somebody else is already doing. You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them! (Laughter) You can just walk in their footsteps – just use the science of drafting. Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it! So why don't you have what you want, when you have all the information that you need, you have the contacts that you need, there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business, or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!? It all comes down to one word: F*©#. Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about? The f-bomb. It's everywhere! You hear it all the time! I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word. I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it. And it's really not expressing how you really feel. It's sort of a cheap shot to take. And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine". "How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine." Oh, really? You are? Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine? Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine? You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine? Really?! I don't think so! But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius. Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it. But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry. Here we are at a conference about being alive and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"?! What a flimsy and feeble word! If you're crappy, say you're crappy! If you're amazing say you're amazing! Tell the truth! And this not only goes for the social construct: "Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life", or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible." The bigger issue – The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself. That thing that you want, I guarantee you, you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it. That's why you're not pushing yourself. It's the areas in your life where you've given up. Where you've said, "Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change, so I just can't have that conversation." "I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced, so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms." "I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills, but whatever – It's hard to get a job." One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is, scientists have calculated – Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter) Scientists have calculated the odds of you being born. That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there. They've crunched the numbers on you – Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this. They've crunched the numbers on you being born. And they took into account all of the wars, and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs, and everything else. And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you, yeah, right here, put your computer away, stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter) So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody – the odds of Doug being born at the moment in time he was born, to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have, one in four hundred trillion! Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky! Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic! You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself. Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause) Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage. Because all of you – we're all in this category. One in four hundred trillion. All day long you have ideas that could change your life, that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel, and what do you do with them? Nothing! (Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter) You didn't pay for that. (Laughter) And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have – I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" – you have these amazing ideas that bubble up. You've been watching people all day and I guarantee you, like ping pong balls – bam-bam-bam and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze! What's the first decision you made this morning? I bet it was to go back to bed. "Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion, I'm going to go back to sleep." And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm! If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you, or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog. And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today, and the inner snooze alarm, is because in any area of your life that you want to change, any – there's one fact that you need to know. This one: You are never going to feel like it. Ever. No one's coming, motivation isn't happening, you're never going to feel like it. Scientists call it activation energy. That's what they call the force required to get you to change from what you're doing on autopilot to do something new. So try this test tomorrow. You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED. (Laughter) Try this. Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier. And then when it goes off, take those sheets, throw them off, and stand up and start your day. No snooze, no delay, no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" – Do it. And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face with the physical, and I mean physical force that's required to change your behavior. Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight ever feels like going on a diet? Of course not! You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas instead of a croissant? I don't think so! The activation energy required to get your ass away from your computer and out the front door, to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on, is the exact same amount of force that it takes you to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room. What's interesting about being an adult is that when you become eighteen, nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself. And by "parent yourself", I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do, so you can be everything that you're supposed to be. And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it. And you're never going to! My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job! Get off the damn DS! Kendall, clean up the Barbies! If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up! (Laughter) God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud! Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry. As parents, and you were a kid, your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing. Because you won't. Ever. Not now, not then, not ever! And even when you get good at something, you'll figure out something else you don't want to do. And then you'll plateau out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring." But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one. It's very, very simple to get what you want. But it's not easy. You have to force yourself. And I mean force. And the reason why I use the word "force" – when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking, and she had the picture of two sides of the brain – I look at the brain the exact same way. Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot and the other side as emergency brake. That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake. And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot. You've had the experience where you've driven to work and you get there and you're like, "Oh my God, I don't remember ever driving here." (Laughter) You weren't drunk! That was your brain on autopilot. It was functioning just at this level. And the problem with your mind is that anytime you do anything that's different from your normal routine, guess what your brain does — emergency brake! And it has that reaction for everything. Everything! You walk into the kitchen and see everybody's left their breakfast dishes for you. And you think for the hundredth time, "I'm going to kill them. In fact I'm gonna leave it here and I'm going to make them do it." But that's not your normal routine, is it? So your mind goes: emergency brake! And you go right into autopilot. "I'll just load it, and be pissed, and then not have sex. That's what I'm going to do." (Laughter) (Applause) So, when I say "force", anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. And if you think about your life, it's kind of funny because we are kids and then we become adults, and we spend so much time trying to push our life into some sort of stable routine, and then we grow bored of it! You wake up at the same time every day, you have largely the same breakfast, you drive to work the same way, show up at work, look busy, avoid making calls, update Facebook, you attend a meeting and doodle the whole time, go back and update Facebook, make plans for the evening, you look busy some more, then drive home the same way, you eat largely the same dinner or a variety of it, you watch the same kind of media, and then you go to bed, and do the same thing all over again! No wonder you're bored out of your mind! It's the routine that's killing you. I have this theory about why people get stuck in life. So, most of you've probably taken your Basic Psych 101 class, and you've bumped into Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs"? Well, your body is kinda cool. Because you have these basic needs. And your body is wired to send you signals. If you need food, what do you feel? If you need water, what do you feel? If you need sex, what do you feel? (Laughter) Thank you. I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration. Everything about your life, about your body, grows! Your cells regenerate, your hair, your nails, everything grows for your entire life. And your soul needs exploration and growth. And the only way you'll get it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable. Forcing yourself to get outside, out of your head. Thank you. If you're in your head, you're behind enemy lines. That is not God talking, okay? It's not! In fact, if I put a speaker on it and we broadcast what you say to yourself, we would institutionalize you. (Laughter) You would not hang out with people that talk to you the way you talk to yourself. So get out of your head! Your feelings! Your feelings are screwing you! I don't care how you feel! I care about what you want! And if you listen to how you feel, when it comes to what you want – you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it. And you need to get outside your comfort zone. It's not about taking risks, it's about getting outside your comfort zone. Those first three seconds when you push yourself out of bed, they blow. But once you're up, it's great. Those first three seconds when you're sitting here in a stadium like this and somebody says, "Get up and come dance," and you think, "Oh, I should do that," and then you're like, "Uhmm." That experience that you had when you had the impulse to do it and then you didn't do the activation energy required to force yourself, your emergency brake got pulled – "I'm sitting right here. I'm not going up with those crazy people, I don't like to dance..." What happened for me is I came up, and I bumped into Rachel, and then we started talking, and next thing you know, she's tweeting. And we're friends. And – boom! Get outside. That's where the magic is. That's where the one in four hundred trillion exists. So everything I do – oh, OK, this is the last part. Sorry. So one more thing that you can use, I call it the five-second-rule. Your mind can process a facial expression in 33 milliseconds. It can move pretty damn quick. The other thing that it does very quickly is if you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you, if you don't marry it with an action within five seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Kill it! If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing, if you don't stand up in five seconds, you're going to pull the emergency brake. If you have an impulse about, you were inspired by somebody's speech today, and you don't do something within five seconds – write a note, send yourself a text – anything physical to marry it with the idea, you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them. You kill them. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault. You're doing it to yourself. Stop it! I'm counting on you. One in four hundred trillion. You got stuff to do! And it's not going to happen in your head. So I want you to practice this today. When we go off to party, thank God it's coming soon, because I think we all could use a cocktail, I want you to practice the five-second-rule. You see somebody and you think you have an impulse, they look interesting? Walk over there! You were inspired by somebody and you have a request? Make it! That's why you're here! Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens. And one more thing, I want you to know that everything that I do, whether it's the radio show, or the television show, or the book that I wrote, or the column, it's for you. And if there is anything that I can do, if I can do anything to make you do the things you don't want to do, so you can have what you want, I will do it. But you need to walk over, you need to open your mouth, and you need to make the request. You got it? Good. Go do it. (Applause) Thank you! Thank you, yes! Stand up! You have the impulse, stand up! Thank you!
熱烈歡迎 !你們好,舊金山 ! TEDx — — 噢我的天啊,燈光好亮 ! 嗨,大家好嗎? (觀眾歡呼) 挺好? ! 哦我的天啊 !好,那麼...... 我的名字是梅爾羅賓斯, 在過去的十七年中, 我什麼都沒做,除了幫助人們 得到他們想要的一切。 合理範圍內啦!我老公在場耶! 所以,我在法庭上、 會議室裡、臥室裡、 在人們的客廳裡, 不管你想在哪個房間, 如果我在,我會不擇手段 幫助你得到任何你想要的, 過去的三年,我主持一個 聯網播放的電台節目。 每周 5 天,我在 40 個城市現場直播, 與美國各地感覺被困住的人們談話。 你知道在這一刻,有三分之一的美國人 對他們的生活感到不滿嗎? 那是 1 億人啊! 簡直是瘋了 ! 我在我正在做的一個新節目 裡面對面看到它了, 也是瘋了。這個節目叫"親家"。 我去美國各地的家庭和他們同住 — — (笑聲) 你猜對了 ! — — 這些家庭正和他們的親家在對抗呢。 我們讓他們全都住到同一屋簷下, 我對每個人講話都很機車, 我們會打開潘多拉的盒子, 我會讓他們別為甜甜圈吵架, 或誰來主辦感恩節晚餐, 並談論實質的東西。 這些也是我想要跟你們談的。 我是為你站在這兒的, 我要用不到18 分鐘的時間, 告訴你我知道的一切 有關於如何獲得你想要的。 我現在請你花點時間, 想一下你想要什麼。 你 ! 我要你自私地去想。 去你的Simon和"我們"。 這是關於我,就現在 ! (笑聲)(掌聲)抱歉,Simon。 你想要什麼?這問題要這樣看, 我不要它聽起來冠冕堂皇。 光是健康有甚麼動力? 它不會讓你的屁股在跑步機上動起來。 把你男性乳房給瘦沒了, 你才能把到妹子, 那才是動力。(笑聲) 所以,我想知道: 你想要什麼? 你想減肥嗎?你想要你收入翻三倍嗎? 你想要建立一個非營利組織嗎? 你想要找到真愛嗎? 想要什麼?留住它,在這裡(指腦袋)。 你知道它是什麼, 別往死裡分析,就選一個。 這是問題的一部分。你沒法選擇。 所以,我們要談談 你如何得到你想要的。 坦白說,得到你想要的,其實很單純。 但注意我沒說它很容易。 它很單純。 事實上,如果你想一想 我們活在一個最令人驚嘆的時刻。 你腦袋裡想的事,不管它是什麼, 你想要使用健康飲食治好你的糖尿病, 你想要知道如何照顧老年人 並成立一個臨終關懷中心, 你想要去非洲 建立一所學校...你知道麼? 你可以去一家書店 --現在!-- 至少買十本資深專家寫的書, 他們會告訴你怎麼做。 你可以谷歌搜索一下。 你大概可以找到至少,我不知道 — — 一千個部落格,記錄著別人 已經一步一步在做的事情。 你可以在網上找到任何人, 然后在網上跟蹤他們 ! (笑聲) 你可以跟著他們的腳步走, 就像打草稿一樣。 跟隨其他已經做到的人, 因為別人已經辦到了 ! 所以為什麼你沒有你想要的? 當你有你需要的所有信息, 你要有需要的門路, 搞不好網路上有免費的工具 可以幫助你開創新的事業, 或著加入一個團體, 或者做你想要做的任何事情!? 總結一個字,就是: F*©#. 閉嘴,你知道我說什麼嗎? F-炸彈。它無處不在 ! 你總是聽到它 ! 我真心不明白這詞的魅力是什麼。 我是說,你說這詞的時候 聽起來又不聰明。 它也不真的表達你真實的感受。 它就像便宜的酒。 當然你知道我在說這個詞:"fine"(很好)。 "你好嗎?哦,我挺好"。 哦,真的嗎?你是嗎? 拖著那多餘的四十磅,你挺好? 與你的配偶感覺像室友,你挺好? 你四個月沒做愛了,你挺好? 真的? ! 我不這麼覺得! 不過,說你挺好的這事兒呢, 其實蠻天才的。 因為如果你挺好, 你不用再做任何改變。 但當你思考一下“挺好”這個詞, 它就是讓我很生氣。 我們在這裡談論有關於活著的議題, 然後你要描述活著的經驗為"挺好"? ! 一個多麼輕薄微弱的詞啊 ! 如果你很糟糕,說你很糟糕 ! 如果你很厲害,說你很厲害 ! 說實話 ! 而這不只是用在社交場合: "喔,我不想用我討厭我的人生來煩你", 或者:"嘿,我是很厲害 ! 但這會讓你感覺很糟。” 更大的問題是 — — "fine"(很好) 最大的問題是 你這麼告訴你自己, 那個你想要的東西,我像你保証, 你已經說服你自己, 沒有它,也沒關係了。 這就是為什麼你不逼迫自己。 這就是你在人生中放棄的地方, 當你說過, "哦,我挺好,我媽媽永遠不會改, 所以我不能談那個"。 "我挺好。我們得等到 孩子們畢業再離婚 所以我們就分房睡"。 "我挺好。我丟了我的工作, 幾乎付不起賬單, 但不管了 — — 找到一份工作太難了"。 其中一個原因讓我覺得那個字很煩人是, 科學家們已經算出 — — 哦耶,我下來了 !(笑聲) 科學家們已經算出 你們 被生下來 的機率。 沒錯。他們已經處理過了... 我看到上邊的你了。 他們對你的出生機率 已經算出來了, 沒錯,站起來的那幾位, 你最好先坐下來。 他們已經算出來你出生的機率。 他們考慮了所有的戰爭, 和自然災害,和恐龍, 和其他一切。 你知不知道這個機率, 你出生的機率, 對,就這兒,收起你的電腦, 給我站起來,道格 !(笑聲) 所以道格的機率, 轉過來和大家說“嗨” 道格被生出來的機率 在他出生的那一刻, 父母把你生下來, 讓你擁有自己的DNA結構 的機率是400兆分之1! 這不是很厲害嗎? (道格: 我真幸運 !) (梅爾: 是的 !你不是挺好,你是很棒 !) 你有改變人生的想法是有原因的, 那可不是為了折磨你自己。 謝謝!謝謝你,道格!(掌聲) 當克裡斯蒂娜說,你們都可以 站上這個講台,她是對的, 因為你們所有人-- 我們都在這個類別裡, 400兆分之1。 整天你會有源源不絕的想法 可以改變你的人生, 可以改變世界, 可以改變你感覺的方式, 而你對它們採取甚麼行動?沒有! (嗯哼)但願我沒露出屁股給你們看。(笑聲) 你們又沒有付錢...(笑聲) 我要你們花點時間想想,因為我們都有... 我喜歡使用這個比喻 "內在打盹按鈕", 你有很棒的點子不停地冒出來, 你已經看人看了一整天, 我保証,就像乒乓球 — — 邦、邦、邦 — — 你有這些想法。。。 每次你有一個想法,你做什麼? — — 按下打盹按鈕 ! 你今天早上作的第一個決定是什麼? 我敢打賭一定是睡回籠覺。 "對,今天第一個決定, 我是400兆分之一, 我要繼續睡懶覺了"。 我懂 !你的床很舒服 ! 很舒適,很溫暖 ! 如果你幸運的話, 你有個你愛你的人在身邊 或者是我的話,我有我的丈夫 和我的兩個孩子,可能還有我們的狗。 為什麼我會提起 你今天作的第一決定 和內在的打盹鬧鐘,是因為 在你想要改變你生命中的任何領域 任何領域 — — 你需要知道一個事實。 這一個: 你永遠不會感覺想去做。 永遠。 沒人來,動力不會出現, 你永遠不會感覺想去做。 科學家們稱它為「活化能」。 他們所指的力量就是 一個讓你從自動導航模式 轉變到做新鮮事的力量。 所以明天試試這個測試。 你要覺得自己很厲害, 我知道啊,你在參加 TED。 (笑聲)試試看。 明天早上,把你的鬧鐘設置 提早三十分鐘。 然後當它響的時候, 把那些被子毯子丟開, 站起來開始你的一天。 不貪睡、不遲到 沒有,"我就等五秒鐘, 因為梅爾沒在這裡"— — 立刻做吧。 為什麼要你這麼做的原因是 因為你會面對面碰上 生理上的問題,而我的意思是 改變你行為所需要的體力。 你認為需要減肥的人 曾經感覺過想要節食嗎? 當然不會! 你認為他們會永遠 只吃白煮雞肉和豌豆 來代替可頌麵包嗎? 我可不這麼認為! 活化能 需要你移動一下你的屁股 離開電腦,走出去大門口, 出門去散你說過 要去散的那個步, 和把你自己逼出溫暖的床, 走到外面冰冷的空間, 所需要的力量是同樣多的。 作為成人有趣的是 當你滿十八歲, 沒人告訴你,「管教你自己」 現在變成你的職責了。 而「管教你自己」的意思是, 你的職責就是讓你自己 去做那些你不想做的破事。 所以,你可以成為 你認為可以成為的人。 而你他媽的這麼忙, 想要等你喜歡做的時候才要做? 你永遠都等不到 ! 我的兒子從來不覺得 他玩夠了他的任天堂,那是我的工作! 別玩那該死的任天堂了! 肯德爾,收起你那些芭比娃娃 ! 如果你要在我的浴室開裸趴, 至少先清乾淨啊 ! (笑聲) 上帝啊,吃東西的時候嘴巴閉起來 ! 我們又不是穀倉,嘴巴張這大要嚇人啊 ! 好了,晚餐馬上好了, 不要再吃零食了,出來。 身為一個父母,當你還是小孩時 你的父母讓你做 你感覺不想做的事情。 因為你不想做,永遠都不想。 不是現在,不是等一下,永遠不會 ! 就算你對於某件事很在行, 你也會想出一些你不想做的理由。 然後你就會感到無聊 "我討厭這個工作 吧啦 吧啦 好無聊~" 但你會尋找一個新工作嗎? 不 !你只會罵那個工作。 得到你想要的東西 其實非常非常單純, 但並不容易。 你必須逼迫自己。 我是說要逼迫。 我使用"逼迫"這個詞的原因是-- 當洛茲在這裡談論情感記錄 她有個大腦兩邊的圖片 — — 我也是這樣看待頭腦的 只是我把頭腦的一邊看成自動駕駛 另一邊是緊急煞車。 你有的只有這兩個速度: 自動模式、 緊急剎車。 猜猜你的大腦較喜歡哪一邊: 自動模式。 你有過你開車去工作, 然後你到了那裡, 你突然覺得"喔天哪, 我不記得我曾開車來過這裡"。 (笑聲) 你沒喝醉 !是你的大腦在自動模式。 它就是在這個程度運作的。 你頭腦的問題是,在任何時候 你只要做任何異於平常做的事, 猜猜你的大腦會做什麼 — — 緊急剎車 ! 並且它對一切都有這種反應。一切 ! 你走進廚房,看到 每個人都留了他們的 早餐盤要給你洗。 你有一百次想"我要殺了他們。 實際上,我要把這些留在這裡, 我要讓他們來洗" 但是那不是你平常會做的事,對嗎? 所以你的頭腦立刻: 緊急剎車 ! 然後你又回到自動模式。 "我就扛下來自己做, 然後自己氣得要死,然後沒性生活。 然後做到死,活該。"(笑聲)(掌聲) 所以,當我說,"逼迫", 任何不是你平常 會做的事都需要逼迫。 如果你想想看你的人生 其實還蠻好笑的,因為我們是小孩, 然後我們變成大人 我們花那麼多時間試圖將我們的人生 推入某種穩定的常規, 然後我們覺得這很無聊 ! 每天你在同一時間醒來, 吃一份很相同的早餐, 你用同樣的方式開車去上班, 在公司出現,表現很忙, 逃避打電話,更新下 Facebook, 你去參加會議,會議時間都在塗鴉, 回去再更新 Facebook,為傍晚做個計劃 你看起又更忙一些, 然後用同樣的方式開車回家, 你吃很相同的晚餐或它的其中一種, 你看同樣的媒體, 然後你去睡覺,再做同樣的事 ! 難怪你無聊到想發瘋 ! 刻板的生活慢慢把你殺了。 我有個為什麼人在 生活中被困住的理論。 你們大多數可能 已經上過心理學入門的課, 已經了解亞伯拉罕.馬斯洛的 "需求層次"? 那麼,你的身體是挺酷的。 因為你有這些基本需求。 而你的身體向你發出信號。 如果你餓,需要食物,你什麼感覺? 如果你需要水,你什麼感覺? 如果你需要做愛, 你什麼感覺?(笑聲)謝謝。 我認為,當你感覺卡住 或不滿你的人生, 這是一個信號。 這信號並不是說 ”你的人生完蛋了”。 它是說“一個你最基本 的需求未得到滿足”。 你需要去探索。 你生活的一切、 身體的一切都會成長! 你的細胞、你的頭髮、你的指甲 每一樣在你的人生中都會成長。 而你的靈魂需要探索和成長。 而你唯一要得到它的方法, 就是強迫自己不舒服。 強迫自己到外面去, 離開你的腦袋,謝謝。 如果你在你的腦袋裡, 你在封鎖線後方。 那不是上帝在說話,好嗎?不是 ! 事實上,如果我放個喇叭在上面, 然後廣播一下你對自己說些什麼, 我們會把你抓進精神病院去。(笑聲) 你不會跟講話方式 跟你一樣的人出去閒逛。 所以到你的腦袋外面去! 你的感覺 !你的感覺在害你 ! 我不在乎你的感覺 ! 我在乎的是你想要什麼 ! 如果你聽從你的感受, 那麼你想要的 — — 你不會得到它。 因為你永遠不會感覺到喜歡它。 而你需要到你的舒適圈以外。 這跟冒險無關, 這跟走出你的舒適圈有關。 你逼自己起床的頭三秒真是難熬。 但一旦你起來了,就很棒。 那些頭三秒,當你坐在這兒 像這樣一個體育場 然後有人說,"起來跳舞啊" 你想,"哦,我應該去跳," 然後你想,"算了..." 那個經驗,當你有衝動想去跳 但你沒用啟動所需的「活化能」 來逼迫自己, 你的緊急剎車被拉起來 — —"我就坐在這裡。 我才不要去和那些瘋子瞎攪和, 我不喜歡跳舞..." 我發生的是,我上去了, 然後我遇到雷切爾 然後我們開始聊天, 接著你就發現,她在玩推特 然後我們是朋友了。 然後 — — 砰 !到外面去。 那是魔力存在的地方。 那是400兆分之一的人該待的地方。 所以,我做的一切-- 哦,好,這就是最後一部分。抱歉。 還有個你能用的, 我叫它五秒鐘規則。 你的頭腦,33 毫秒就可以處理一個面部表情。 它能運作得很快。 另一件它做得很快的事, 就是,如果你有一個拉扯你的那些小衝動 如果你沒有在五秒內採取行動 你就會拉起緊急剎車, 並殺死了這個想法。 殺了 ! 如果樂隊在表演的時候, 你有衝動要上來跳舞, 如果你在 5 秒內不站起來, 你就會拉起緊急剎車。 如果你有一個衝動, 像是,你今天受到某人的演講而得到啟發, 你如果沒在五秒之內做些什麼... — — 寫在便條紙上,寄一封簡訊給自己 — — 任何根據這個想法上的身體行動, 你將拉起緊急剎車並殺了這個想法。 你的問題不是想法本身, 是你沒有去執行它們。 你殺了它們。這不是我的錯。 這不是任何人的錯。 你在自做自受,停止這樣做! 我相信你, 400 兆分之一。 你會有事要做! 而它不會發生在你的腦袋裡。 所以我想讓你今天練習一下。 當我們去派對的時候, 感謝上帝派對快開始了, 因為我覺得我們都可以喝杯雞尾酒, 我要你練習五秒鐘規則。 你看到某人,你覺得你有一種衝動, 他們看起來有趣?走過去 ! 你因為受到某人的鼓舞, 然後你有一個請求? 提出來 ! 那是你在這裡的原因啊 ! 試驗一下,我想你會被 所發生的事而感到震驚的。 還有件事,我想讓你知道 我做的這一切 無論是電台節目,電視節目, 還是我寫的這本書或著專欄, 都是為了你們。 如果有什麼是我能做的 如果我可以做什麼 來逼你做你不想做的事情, 使你可以得到你想要的,我會去做。 但是你必須要走過來,張開你的嘴 你需要提出這個請求。 明白了?很好,去做吧! (掌聲) 謝謝!謝謝你,是的 !站起來! 你有這衝動,就站起來 !謝謝!