Bigger welcome! Hello, San Francisco! TEDx – oh my God, blinding light! Hi, everybody! How are you? (Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so... My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years, I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want. Within reason! My husband's here. So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom, in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in, if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary. For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show. Five days a week, I go live in forty cities and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck. Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now? That is a hundred million people! That's insane! And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing, which is also insane, it's called "In-laws". I move in with families across America – (Laughter) You guessed it! – who are at war with their in-laws. We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody, we open up Pandora's box, and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner, and talk about the real stuff. And that's what I want to talk to you about. I'm here for you. I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes about how to get what you want. So I want you to take a millisecond right now and think about what you want. You! And I want you to be selfish. Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now! (Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon. What do you want? And here's the deal. I don't want it to sound good to other people. Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill. Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody, now that's motivation. (Laughter) So, I want to know: What do you want? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income? Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love? What is it? Get it, right here. You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something. That's part of the problem. You won't pick. So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want. And frankly, getting what you want is simple. But notice I didn't say it was easy. It's very simple. In fact, if you think about it, we live in the most amazing moment in time. So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be, you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes, you want to figure out how to take care of the elders and start a new hospice center, you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what? You can walk into a book store – right now! – and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts on how the hell you do it. You could Google it. And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs documenting the step, by step, by step transformation that somebody else is already doing. You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them! (Laughter) You can just walk in their footsteps – just use the science of drafting. Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it! So why don't you have what you want, when you have all the information that you need, you have the contacts that you need, there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business, or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!? It all comes down to one word: F*©#. Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about? The f-bomb. It's everywhere! You hear it all the time! I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word. I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it. And it's really not expressing how you really feel. It's sort of a cheap shot to take. And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine". "How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine." Oh, really? You are? Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine? Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine? You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine? Really?! I don't think so! But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius. Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it. But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry. Here we are at a conference about being alive and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"?! What a flimsy and feeble word! If you're crappy, say you're crappy! If you're amazing say you're amazing! Tell the truth! And this not only goes for the social construct: "Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life", or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible." The bigger issue – The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself. That thing that you want, I guarantee you, you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it. That's why you're not pushing yourself. It's the areas in your life where you've given up. Where you've said, "Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change, so I just can't have that conversation." "I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced, so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms." "I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills, but whatever – It's hard to get a job." One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is, scientists have calculated – Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter) Scientists have calculated the odds of you being born. That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there. They've crunched the numbers on you – Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this. They've crunched the numbers on you being born. And they took into account all of the wars, and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs, and everything else. And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you, yeah, right here, put your computer away, stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter) So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody – the odds of Doug being born at the moment in time he was born, to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have, one in four hundred trillion! Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky! Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic! You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself. Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause) Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage. Because all of you – we're all in this category. One in four hundred trillion. All day long you have ideas that could change your life, that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel, and what do you do with them? Nothing! (Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter) You didn't pay for that. (Laughter) And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have – I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" – you have these amazing ideas that bubble up. You've been watching people all day and I guarantee you, like ping pong balls – bam-bam-bam and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze! What's the first decision you made this morning? I bet it was to go back to bed. "Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion, I'm going to go back to sleep." And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm! If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you, or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog. And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today, and the inner snooze alarm, is because in any area of your life that you want to change, any – there's one fact that you need to know. This one: You are never going to feel like it. Ever. No one's coming, motivation isn't happening, you're never going to feel like it. Scientists call it activation energy. That's what they call the force required to get you to change from what you're doing on autopilot to do something new. So try this test tomorrow. You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED. (Laughter) Try this. Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier. And then when it goes off, take those sheets, throw them off, and stand up and start your day. No snooze, no delay, no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" – Do it. And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face with the physical, and I mean physical force that's required to change your behavior. Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight ever feels like going on a diet? Of course not! You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas instead of a croissant? I don't think so! The activation energy required to get your ass away from your computer and out the front door, to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on, is the exact same amount of force that it takes you to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room. What's interesting about being an adult is that when you become eighteen, nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself. And by "parent yourself", I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do, so you can be everything that you're supposed to be. And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it. And you're never going to! My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job! Get off the damn DS! Kendall, clean up the Barbies! If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up! (Laughter) God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud! Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry. As parents, and you were a kid, your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing. Because you won't. Ever. Not now, not then, not ever! And even when you get good at something, you'll figure out something else you don't want to do. And then you'll plateau out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring." But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one. It's very, very simple to get what you want. But it's not easy. You have to force yourself. And I mean force. And the reason why I use the word "force" – when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking, and she had the picture of two sides of the brain – I look at the brain the exact same way. Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot and the other side as emergency brake. That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake. And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot. You've had the experience where you've driven to work and you get there and you're like, "Oh my God, I don't remember ever driving here." (Laughter) You weren't drunk! That was your brain on autopilot. It was functioning just at this level. And the problem with your mind is that anytime you do anything that's different from your normal routine, guess what your brain does — emergency brake! And it has that reaction for everything. Everything! You walk into the kitchen and see everybody's left their breakfast dishes for you. And you think for the hundredth time, "I'm going to kill them. In fact I'm gonna leave it here and I'm going to make them do it." But that's not your normal routine, is it? So your mind goes: emergency brake! And you go right into autopilot. "I'll just load it, and be pissed, and then not have sex. That's what I'm going to do." (Laughter) (Applause) So, when I say "force", anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. And if you think about your life, it's kind of funny because we are kids and then we become adults, and we spend so much time trying to push our life into some sort of stable routine, and then we grow bored of it! You wake up at the same time every day, you have largely the same breakfast, you drive to work the same way, show up at work, look busy, avoid making calls, update Facebook, you attend a meeting and doodle the whole time, go back and update Facebook, make plans for the evening, you look busy some more, then drive home the same way, you eat largely the same dinner or a variety of it, you watch the same kind of media, and then you go to bed, and do the same thing all over again! No wonder you're bored out of your mind! It's the routine that's killing you. I have this theory about why people get stuck in life. So, most of you've probably taken your Basic Psych 101 class, and you've bumped into Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs"? Well, your body is kinda cool. Because you have these basic needs. And your body is wired to send you signals. If you need food, what do you feel? If you need water, what do you feel? If you need sex, what do you feel? (Laughter) Thank you. I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration. Everything about your life, about your body, grows! Your cells regenerate, your hair, your nails, everything grows for your entire life. And your soul needs exploration and growth. And the only way you'll get it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable. Forcing yourself to get outside, out of your head. Thank you. If you're in your head, you're behind enemy lines. That is not God talking, okay? It's not! In fact, if I put a speaker on it and we broadcast what you say to yourself, we would institutionalize you. (Laughter) You would not hang out with people that talk to you the way you talk to yourself. So get out of your head! Your feelings! Your feelings are screwing you! I don't care how you feel! I care about what you want! And if you listen to how you feel, when it comes to what you want – you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it. And you need to get outside your comfort zone. It's not about taking risks, it's about getting outside your comfort zone. Those first three seconds when you push yourself out of bed, they blow. But once you're up, it's great. Those first three seconds when you're sitting here in a stadium like this and somebody says, "Get up and come dance," and you think, "Oh, I should do that," and then you're like, "Uhmm." That experience that you had when you had the impulse to do it and then you didn't do the activation energy required to force yourself, your emergency brake got pulled – "I'm sitting right here. I'm not going up with those crazy people, I don't like to dance..." What happened for me is I came up, and I bumped into Rachel, and then we started talking, and next thing you know, she's tweeting. And we're friends. And – boom! Get outside. That's where the magic is. That's where the one in four hundred trillion exists. So everything I do – oh, OK, this is the last part. Sorry. So one more thing that you can use, I call it the five-second-rule. Your mind can process a facial expression in 33 milliseconds. It can move pretty damn quick. The other thing that it does very quickly is if you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you, if you don't marry it with an action within five seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Kill it! If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing, if you don't stand up in five seconds, you're going to pull the emergency brake. If you have an impulse about, you were inspired by somebody's speech today, and you don't do something within five seconds – write a note, send yourself a text – anything physical to marry it with the idea, you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them. You kill them. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault. You're doing it to yourself. Stop it! I'm counting on you. One in four hundred trillion. You got stuff to do! And it's not going to happen in your head. So I want you to practice this today. When we go off to party, thank God it's coming soon, because I think we all could use a cocktail, I want you to practice the five-second-rule. You see somebody and you think you have an impulse, they look interesting? Walk over there! You were inspired by somebody and you have a request? Make it! That's why you're here! Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens. And one more thing, I want you to know that everything that I do, whether it's the radio show, or the television show, or the book that I wrote, or the column, it's for you. And if there is anything that I can do, if I can do anything to make you do the things you don't want to do, so you can have what you want, I will do it. But you need to walk over, you need to open your mouth, and you need to make the request. You got it? Good. Go do it. (Applause) Thank you! Thank you, yes! Stand up! You have the impulse, stand up! Thank you!
热烈欢迎 !你好,旧金山 ! TEDx —— 噢我的天哪,灯光好亮 ! 嗨,大家好吗? (观众欢呼) 挺好? ! 哦我天啊 !好,那么...... 我的名字是梅尔·罗宾斯(Mel Robbins), 过去的十七年中, 除了帮助他人得到他们想要的一切, 我没做什么其他事。 当然是合理范围内 !我丈夫在场呢。 所以,我在法庭上, 在会议室里,在卧室里, 在人们的客厅里, 在任何你能想到的地方, 凡是我在的地方, 我会以任何必要的手段 帮助你得到任何想要的东西。 过去的三年—— 我主持一个全国性的电台节目。 每周 5 天,我的节目 在四十个城市现场直播 和全美各地感到束手无策的人们谈话。 你知道现在有三分之一的美国人 对他们的生活感到不满吗? 那就是 1 亿人 ! 这太夸张了 ! 我正在做的一档疯狂的新节目 直面这个问题, 这个节目叫 "亲家(In-laws) "。 我搬去美国各地的家庭 和他们同住——(笑声) 你猜对了 ! ——这些家庭 正和他们的亲家闹别扭。 我们住在同一屋檐下, 我对每个人都是嘴上不饶人, 我们惹了许多麻烦, 我让他们别为了甜甜圈, 或为谁来主办感恩节晚餐争论不休, 应该谈谈实质的东西。 这些也是我想要跟你们谈的。 我为了你们站在这儿。 我要用不到 18 分钟的时间倾我所知 告诉你们如何获得你想要的。 所以,现在请各位花一毫秒 想一下你想要什么。 你们! 我要你们自私一点。 别管西蒙和 "我们" 想什么。 这是关于我自己,就现在 ! (笑声)(掌声)抱歉,西蒙。 你想要什么?这问题要这样看。 不用说得冠冕堂皇。 光是强身健体哪有什么动力。 把你男性乳房给瘦没了 才能把到个妹子, 那才是动力。(笑声) 所以,我想知道: 你想要什么? 你想减肥吗? 你想要你收入翻三倍吗? 你想要建立一个非营利组织吗? 你想要找到真爱吗? 想要什么? 留住它,在这里(指脑袋)。 你知道想要什么, 别往死里分析,就选一个。 这是问题的一部分,你没法选择。 所以,我们要谈谈 你如何得到你想要的。 坦率地说,得到你想要的很简单, 但注意,我没说这很容易。 它很简单。 事实上,如果你想一想, 我们生活在历史上最神奇的时刻。 你脑袋里想的事儿,不管是什么, 你想要使用健康饮食治好糖尿病, 你想要知道如何照顾老年人 并成立一个临终关怀中心, 你想要去非洲建立一所学校...... 你知道吗? 你可以走进一家书店—— 现在 !—— 去买至少十本有资深专家写的书 他们会告诉你怎么做。 你可以谷歌搜索一下, 你大概可以找到至少, 我不知道 —— 一千个博客记录着别人已经在做的 一步一步的改变。 你可以在网上找到任何人, 然后在网上跟踪他们 ! (笑声) 你可以跟着他们的步骤 —— 就像打草稿一样。 跟随其他人已经做到的, 因为已经有人在做了! 所以为什么你没有得到你想要的? 当你拥有必需的所有信息, 你拥有必需的联系人, 大概也有免费的在线工具 让你开始工作, 或加入一个组织, 或者做任何你想做的 !? 这都得归结为一个词: F*©#. 把前门关上,你知道我说什么吗? F——炸弹。它无处不在 ! 你总是听到它 ! 我真心不明白这词的魅力是什么, 我是说,你说这词的时候 听起来并不聪明, 它也不在表达你真实的感受。 它似乎有点低级。 当然你知道我在说这个词:"挺好"。 "你好吗?" "哦,我挺好"。 哦,真的吗?你是吗? 拖着那多余的四十磅,你挺好? 与你的配偶感觉像室友,你挺好? 你四个月没做爱了,你挺好? 真的吗? ! 我不这么觉得! 不过,说你挺好的这事儿呢, 其实蛮天才的。 因为如果你挺好, 你不用再做什么。 但当你思考一下“挺好”这个词, 它就是让我很生气。 我们在一个讨论关于活着的会议 然后你要描述活着的感受为 "挺好"? ! 一个多么单调微弱的词啊 ! 如果你感到糟糕, 就说你很糟糕 ! 如果你感觉好极了, 就说你好极了 ! 说实话 ! 而且这不只是针对这种社交观念: "哦,我不想因为厌恶 自己的生活现状让你有负担", 或者:"嘿,我的确很厉害 ! 但这会让你感觉很糟。” 更大的问题是—— "挺好"是你对自己说, 那个你想要的东西,我保证你, 你已经说服了自己, 没有得到想要的也挺好。 这就是为什么你不鞭策自己。 在你已经放弃了的生活领域, 当你说过, “哦,我挺好。 我妈妈永远不会改, 所以我不能进行那场对话。” “我挺好,我们得等到 孩子们毕业再离婚, 所以我们就分房睡。” ”我挺好,我丢了我的工作, 几乎付不起账单, 但不管了——找份工作太难了。” 这个词那么烦我的的原因之一是 科学家们已经算出—— 哦耶,我下来了 !(笑声) 科学家们已经算出 你 出生的几率。 没错,他们捣鼓了数据, 我看到上面的你了。 他们捣鼓了关于你的数据 没错,站起来的那几位, 你们最好先坐下来。 他们捣鼓了关于你出生的数据。 他们考虑了所有的战争, 和自然灾害,以及恐龙, 和其他一切。 你知不知道这个几率,你的几率, 对,就这儿,收起你的电脑, 给我站起来,道格 !(笑声) 所以道格的几率—— 转过来和大家说“嗨”—— 道格出生的几率 在他出生的时刻, 出生于你的父母, 携带着你体内的 DNA 结构, 是 400 兆之一 ! 不是很令人惊讶吗? (道格: 我真幸运 !) (梅尔: 是的 ! 你不是挺好,你棒极了 !) 你为了某个原因而产生改变人生的想法, 那可不是为了折磨你自己。 谢谢。谢谢你,道格。(掌声) 克里斯蒂娜说得对, 你们所有人都可以在舞台上。 因为你们所有人—— 我们都是同类。 400 兆 之一。 每天你都有可能 改变你的生活的想法, 可能改变世界,可能改变你的感觉, 你用这些想法做了什么呢? 什么也没做 ! (嗯哼)但愿我不会露出屁股。 (笑声) 你没为那付钱。(笑声) 我希望你思考一下, 因为我们都有—— 我喜欢使用类比 "内在打盹按钮"—— 你有这些很棒的主意冒出来。 你已经看人看了一整天, 我保证,就像乒乓球—— 邦、邦、邦——你有这些想法, 每当你有一个想法, 你做什么?—— 打个盹 ! 你今天早上做的第一个决定是什么? 我打赌是回到床上。 “对,今天第一个决定, 我是 400 兆之一, 我要接着睡觉了。” 我懂 !你的床很舒服 ! 它很舒适,它很温暖 ! 如果你幸运的话, 你有个你爱你的人在身边 或者是我的话,我有我的丈夫 和我的两个孩子,可能还有我们的狗。 为什么我提起你今天做的第一决定, 和内在的打盹闹钟,是因为 在你想要改变的生命中的任何领域 任何—— 你需要知道一个事实。 这一个: 你永远不会感觉想去做。 永远。 没人会来,毫无动力, 你永远不会感觉想去做。 科学家们称它为激活能。 他们指的是令你从自动模式所做的 改变到做不一样的事 所需要的力量, 所以明天试试这个测试。 你觉得你多么时髦, 我知道,你在参加 TED。 (笑声)试试看。 明天早上,把你的闹钟设置早三十分钟。 然后当它响的时候,把被子掀开丢掉, 站起来开始你的一天。 没有打盹、 没有延迟、 没有 "我就等五秒钟, 因为梅尔(Mel)没站在这" —— 立刻做吧。 为什么我希望你这么做的原因 是你会遇到 身体上,没错,生理上的 改变你的行为所需要的力量。 你认为需要减肥的人 感觉过想要节食吗? 当然不是 ! 你认为他们感觉说想吃煮鸡和豌豆 而不是一个牛角面包吗? 我想不是的! 从你的电脑前离开, 出门去散——你说过的——要去散的步 所需要的激活能 和强迫自己离开温暖的床, 走进冰冷的房间 所需要的激活能一样多。 作为成人有趣的是 当你满十八岁, 没人告诉你是时候养活自己了。 我说"养活自己", 是说让你做那些你不想做的破事, 你可以成为你想成为的任何人。 你那么急迫地等待那个 感觉想要去做的时刻。 而你永远不会等到 ! 我的儿子从来不觉得他 玩够了他的 DS。这是我的工作 ! 别玩那该死的 DS 了! 肯德尔,收起你那些芭比娃娃 ! 如果你要在我的浴室开裸体派对, 至少打扫干净 ! (笑声) 上帝啊,闭着嘴咀嚼 ! 我们这儿不是一个谷仓,拜托 ! 好了,晚餐马上好了, 从储藏室里出来。 作为父母,你也曾是一个孩子, 你的父母让你做 你感觉不想做的事情。 因为你不会去做,永远不会。 现在不会,以后不会,永远不会 ! 甚至当你擅长一件事, 你会发现一些别的让你不想做的。 然后你会停止进步, 说"我讨厌这份工作等,很无聊"。 但你会寻找一个新工作吗? 不,你只会骂骂那个工作。 得到你想要的东西非常,非常简单, 但它并不容易。 你必须强迫自己, 我是说要强迫。 我使用"强迫"这个词的原因—— 当洛兹在这里谈论情感追踪 她有个大脑两边的图片—— 我用同样的方式观察大脑。 只是我描述你的大脑的一侧 为自动驾驶 另一侧呢为紧急刹车。 你只有这两个速度: 自动驾驶 和 紧急刹车。 猜猜你的大脑更喜欢哪一个: 自动驾驶。 你一定有这样的经历: 你开车去工作,然后你到了那里 你突然觉得 "喔天哪, 我不记得我为什么开车来这里"。 (笑声) 你没喝醉 ! 是你的大脑在自动驾驶。 它只在这种程度运作。 你的头脑的问题是, 任何时候你做任何异于常规的事, 猜猜你的大脑做什么—— 紧急刹车 ! 并且它对一切都有这种反应。一切 ! 你走进厨房, 看到每个人把早餐盘子留给你洗。 你想了一百遍,"我要杀了他们。 实际上,我把盘子留在这, 我要让他们自己去清理。" 但这不是你的日常操作,是吗? 所以你的头脑立刻: 紧急刹车 ! 你又回到了自动驾驶模式。 "我就只放洗碗机, 但是我会生气,然后不做爱了。 我要这样做。"(笑声)(掌声) 所以,当我说"逼迫", 任何破坏你的常规的事 都需要有力量来逼迫。 当你想想自己的的生活, 还挺有趣的,我们首先是孩子, 然后变为成年人, 我们花那么多时间 试图将我们的生活 过成某种稳定的常规, 然后我们觉得这很无聊 ! 每天你在同一时间醒来, 吃一份很大程度上相同的早餐, 你一同样的方式开车去上班, 出现在公司,看起来很忙, 逃避打电话,更新下 Facebook, 出席例会并全程乱涂乱画, 回去再更新 Facebook, 为晚上做什么列个计划 看起来更忙了, 然后同样的方式开车回家, 你吃份很大程度上相同的晚餐 或众多重复菜单中的一种, 你看同样的媒体, 然后你去睡觉,再做同样的事。 难怪你无聊到想发疯 ! 常规在慢慢杀了你。 我有个为什么人在生活中 感到束手无策的理论。 你们中的大多数 可能已经上过心理学入门课, 已经见识过亚伯拉罕·马斯洛 (Abraham Maslow)的"需求层次"? 你的身体其实是挺酷的。 因为你有这些基本需求。 你的身体能向你发出信号。 如果你感到很饿或者想要食物, 你什么感觉? 如果你需要水,你什么感觉? 如果你需要性,你什么感觉? (笑声)谢谢。 我觉得当你在生活中 感觉被困住或者不满意, 这是一个信号。 这信号并不是说”你的生活破碎了”。 它是在说,“某个你的基本需求 没有得到满足”。 你对探索的需要。 关于你的生活和身体的一切都会成长 ! 你的细胞再生,你的头发,你的指甲 所有的东西在你的一生中都会成长。 你的灵魂需要探索和成长。 使它探索和成长的唯一方法 是强迫自己变得不舒服。 强迫自己到外面去, 到你脑袋外面去。谢谢。 如果你在你的脑袋里, 你在敌人后方。 那不是上帝在说话,好吗? 不是 ! 事实上,如果我给它个喇叭, 我们广播一下你对自己说的话, 我们会把你抓进精神病院去。 (笑声) 你不会跟以你对自己说话的方式 和你说话的人一起玩。 所以到你的脑袋外面去! 你的感觉 !你的感觉在害你 ! 我不在乎你的感觉 ! 我在乎的是你想要什么 ! 如果你听从你的感受, 那么你想要的—— 你不会得到它。 因为你根本不会感觉想要去改变, 并且你需要到你的舒适区以外。 这不是关于冒险, 这是关于到你的舒适区以外。 你逼自己起床的头三秒真是难熬, 但一旦你起来了,就很棒。 当你坐在这儿像这样一个体育场 听到有人说 "起来跳舞啊" 的头三秒, 你想,"哦,我应该去跳," 然后你想,"算了……" 你有冲动去跳,但最终没跳。 你没用所需的激活能 去逼迫自己, 你的紧急刹车被拉了—— "我就坐在这里。 我不要跟那些疯狂的人上去, 我不喜欢跳舞......" 对于我而言,我上来了, 然后我碰到雷切尔 然后我们聊上了, 然后她在发推特了。 然后我们是朋友了。然后—— 砰 !到外面去。 那是魔力存在的地方。 那是 400 兆之一存在的地方。 所以一切我做——哦,好, 这就是最后一部分,很抱歉。 还有个你能用的,我叫它五秒钟规则。 你的头脑 33 毫秒 就可以处理一个面部表情。 它运作得特别快。 另一件它做得很快的事 是如果你有一个刺激你的小冲动, 如果你在五秒内没有采取行动, 你就拉了紧急刹车动 并扼杀了这个想法。 杀了它 ! 如果在乐队演出的时候 你有冲动要上来跳舞, 如果你在 5 秒内不站起来 你就在拉紧急刹车了。 如果你有种冲动: 你今天因为某人的演讲受到启发, 你没在五秒之内做些什么 ——写个笔记, 给自己发个短信 —— 任何根据这个想法的身体上的行动, 你将拉动紧急刹车 并扼杀了这个想法。 你的问题不在想法, 你的问题是你没有采取行动。 你扼杀了它们,这不是我的错, 这不是任何人的错。 这是你在对你自己做的。别这样! 我相信你, 400 兆分之一。 你会有事要做! 而它不会发生在你的脑袋里, 所以我想让你们今天练习一下。 当我们去派对的时候, 感谢上帝,派对快开始了, 因为我觉得我们都可以喝杯鸡尾酒, 我要你练习五秒钟规则。 你看到某人,你觉得你有一种冲动, 他们看起来有趣,走过去 ! 你因为某人受到鼓舞, 然后你有些请求? 提出来 ! 那是你在这里的原因 ! 试验一下,我相信 你会被发生的事震惊的。 还有件事, 我想让你们知道我所做的一切, 无论是电台节目,电视节目, 还是我写的这本书或着专栏, 都是为了你们。 如果有什么是我能做的 如果我可以做什么 来逼你做你不想做的事情 使你可以得到你想要的,我会去做。 但你需要走过来,你需要开口, 你需要提出这个请求。 明白了?很好。去做吧。 (掌声) 谢谢!谢谢你,是的 !站起来! 你有这冲动,站起来 !谢谢!