Bigger welcome! Hello, San Francisco! TEDx – oh my God, blinding light! Hi, everybody! How are you? (Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so... My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years, I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want. Within reason! My husband's here. So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom, in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in, if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary. For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show. Five days a week, I go live in forty cities and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck. Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now? That is a hundred million people! That's insane! And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing, which is also insane, it's called "In-laws". I move in with families across America – (Laughter) You guessed it! – who are at war with their in-laws. We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody, we open up Pandora's box, and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner, and talk about the real stuff. And that's what I want to talk to you about. I'm here for you. I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes about how to get what you want. So I want you to take a millisecond right now and think about what you want. You! And I want you to be selfish. Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now! (Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon. What do you want? And here's the deal. I don't want it to sound good to other people. Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill. Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody, now that's motivation. (Laughter) So, I want to know: What do you want? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income? Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love? What is it? Get it, right here. You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something. That's part of the problem. You won't pick. So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want. And frankly, getting what you want is simple. But notice I didn't say it was easy. It's very simple. In fact, if you think about it, we live in the most amazing moment in time. So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be, you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes, you want to figure out how to take care of the elders and start a new hospice center, you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what? You can walk into a book store – right now! – and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts on how the hell you do it. You could Google it. And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs documenting the step, by step, by step transformation that somebody else is already doing. You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them! (Laughter) You can just walk in their footsteps – just use the science of drafting. Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it! So why don't you have what you want, when you have all the information that you need, you have the contacts that you need, there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business, or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!? It all comes down to one word: F*©#. Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about? The f-bomb. It's everywhere! You hear it all the time! I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word. I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it. And it's really not expressing how you really feel. It's sort of a cheap shot to take. And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine". "How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine." Oh, really? You are? Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine? Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine? You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine? Really?! I don't think so! But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius. Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it. But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry. Here we are at a conference about being alive and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"?! What a flimsy and feeble word! If you're crappy, say you're crappy! If you're amazing say you're amazing! Tell the truth! And this not only goes for the social construct: "Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life", or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible." The bigger issue – The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself. That thing that you want, I guarantee you, you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it. That's why you're not pushing yourself. It's the areas in your life where you've given up. Where you've said, "Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change, so I just can't have that conversation." "I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced, so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms." "I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills, but whatever – It's hard to get a job." One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is, scientists have calculated – Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter) Scientists have calculated the odds of you being born. That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there. They've crunched the numbers on you – Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this. They've crunched the numbers on you being born. And they took into account all of the wars, and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs, and everything else. And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you, yeah, right here, put your computer away, stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter) So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody – the odds of Doug being born at the moment in time he was born, to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have, one in four hundred trillion! Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky! Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic! You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself. Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause) Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage. Because all of you – we're all in this category. One in four hundred trillion. All day long you have ideas that could change your life, that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel, and what do you do with them? Nothing! (Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter) You didn't pay for that. (Laughter) And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have – I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" – you have these amazing ideas that bubble up. You've been watching people all day and I guarantee you, like ping pong balls – bam-bam-bam and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze! What's the first decision you made this morning? I bet it was to go back to bed. "Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion, I'm going to go back to sleep." And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm! If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you, or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog. And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today, and the inner snooze alarm, is because in any area of your life that you want to change, any – there's one fact that you need to know. This one: You are never going to feel like it. Ever. No one's coming, motivation isn't happening, you're never going to feel like it. Scientists call it activation energy. That's what they call the force required to get you to change from what you're doing on autopilot to do something new. So try this test tomorrow. You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED. (Laughter) Try this. Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier. And then when it goes off, take those sheets, throw them off, and stand up and start your day. No snooze, no delay, no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" – Do it. And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face with the physical, and I mean physical force that's required to change your behavior. Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight ever feels like going on a diet? Of course not! You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas instead of a croissant? I don't think so! The activation energy required to get your ass away from your computer and out the front door, to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on, is the exact same amount of force that it takes you to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room. What's interesting about being an adult is that when you become eighteen, nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself. And by "parent yourself", I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do, so you can be everything that you're supposed to be. And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it. And you're never going to! My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job! Get off the damn DS! Kendall, clean up the Barbies! If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up! (Laughter) God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud! Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry. As parents, and you were a kid, your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing. Because you won't. Ever. Not now, not then, not ever! And even when you get good at something, you'll figure out something else you don't want to do. And then you'll plateau out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring." But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one. It's very, very simple to get what you want. But it's not easy. You have to force yourself. And I mean force. And the reason why I use the word "force" – when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking, and she had the picture of two sides of the brain – I look at the brain the exact same way. Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot and the other side as emergency brake. That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake. And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot. You've had the experience where you've driven to work and you get there and you're like, "Oh my God, I don't remember ever driving here." (Laughter) You weren't drunk! That was your brain on autopilot. It was functioning just at this level. And the problem with your mind is that anytime you do anything that's different from your normal routine, guess what your brain does — emergency brake! And it has that reaction for everything. Everything! You walk into the kitchen and see everybody's left their breakfast dishes for you. And you think for the hundredth time, "I'm going to kill them. In fact I'm gonna leave it here and I'm going to make them do it." But that's not your normal routine, is it? So your mind goes: emergency brake! And you go right into autopilot. "I'll just load it, and be pissed, and then not have sex. That's what I'm going to do." (Laughter) (Applause) So, when I say "force", anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. And if you think about your life, it's kind of funny because we are kids and then we become adults, and we spend so much time trying to push our life into some sort of stable routine, and then we grow bored of it! You wake up at the same time every day, you have largely the same breakfast, you drive to work the same way, show up at work, look busy, avoid making calls, update Facebook, you attend a meeting and doodle the whole time, go back and update Facebook, make plans for the evening, you look busy some more, then drive home the same way, you eat largely the same dinner or a variety of it, you watch the same kind of media, and then you go to bed, and do the same thing all over again! No wonder you're bored out of your mind! It's the routine that's killing you. I have this theory about why people get stuck in life. So, most of you've probably taken your Basic Psych 101 class, and you've bumped into Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs"? Well, your body is kinda cool. Because you have these basic needs. And your body is wired to send you signals. If you need food, what do you feel? If you need water, what do you feel? If you need sex, what do you feel? (Laughter) Thank you. I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration. Everything about your life, about your body, grows! Your cells regenerate, your hair, your nails, everything grows for your entire life. And your soul needs exploration and growth. And the only way you'll get it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable. Forcing yourself to get outside, out of your head. Thank you. If you're in your head, you're behind enemy lines. That is not God talking, okay? It's not! In fact, if I put a speaker on it and we broadcast what you say to yourself, we would institutionalize you. (Laughter) You would not hang out with people that talk to you the way you talk to yourself. So get out of your head! Your feelings! Your feelings are screwing you! I don't care how you feel! I care about what you want! And if you listen to how you feel, when it comes to what you want – you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it. And you need to get outside your comfort zone. It's not about taking risks, it's about getting outside your comfort zone. Those first three seconds when you push yourself out of bed, they blow. But once you're up, it's great. Those first three seconds when you're sitting here in a stadium like this and somebody says, "Get up and come dance," and you think, "Oh, I should do that," and then you're like, "Uhmm." That experience that you had when you had the impulse to do it and then you didn't do the activation energy required to force yourself, your emergency brake got pulled – "I'm sitting right here. I'm not going up with those crazy people, I don't like to dance..." What happened for me is I came up, and I bumped into Rachel, and then we started talking, and next thing you know, she's tweeting. And we're friends. And – boom! Get outside. That's where the magic is. That's where the one in four hundred trillion exists. So everything I do – oh, OK, this is the last part. Sorry. So one more thing that you can use, I call it the five-second-rule. Your mind can process a facial expression in 33 milliseconds. It can move pretty damn quick. The other thing that it does very quickly is if you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you, if you don't marry it with an action within five seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Kill it! If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing, if you don't stand up in five seconds, you're going to pull the emergency brake. If you have an impulse about, you were inspired by somebody's speech today, and you don't do something within five seconds – write a note, send yourself a text – anything physical to marry it with the idea, you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them. You kill them. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault. You're doing it to yourself. Stop it! I'm counting on you. One in four hundred trillion. You got stuff to do! And it's not going to happen in your head. So I want you to practice this today. When we go off to party, thank God it's coming soon, because I think we all could use a cocktail, I want you to practice the five-second-rule. You see somebody and you think you have an impulse, they look interesting? Walk over there! You were inspired by somebody and you have a request? Make it! That's why you're here! Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens. And one more thing, I want you to know that everything that I do, whether it's the radio show, or the television show, or the book that I wrote, or the column, it's for you. And if there is anything that I can do, if I can do anything to make you do the things you don't want to do, so you can have what you want, I will do it. But you need to walk over, you need to open your mouth, and you need to make the request. You got it? Good. Go do it. (Applause) Thank you! Thank you, yes! Stand up! You have the impulse, stand up! Thank you!
Selamat datang! Halo, San Francisco! TEDx -- ya Tuhan, cahayanya terang sekali! Halo semuanya! Apa kabar? (Penonton bersorak) Baik? Ya ampun! OK. Nama saya Mel Robbins, dan selama 17 tahun terakhir, saya telah membantu orang untuk mendapatkan keinginan mereka. Tentu yang masuk akal. Suami saya di sini. Jadi, saya sudah melakukannya di pengadilan, di ruang rapat, di kamar, di ruang tamu seseorang, di mana pun itu, jika ada saya, saya akan membantu Anda mendapatkan keinginan Anda. Selama tiga tahun terakhir -- saya membawakan acara siaran radio. Lima hari seminggu, saya siaran langsung di 40 kota, dan berbicara dengan wanita dan pria di Amerika yang hidup terkurung. Tahukah Anda, sepertiga orang Amerika tak puas dengan hidupnya saat ini? Itu seratus juta orang! Sungguh gila! Saya menghadapi ini di acara baru saya, yang juga gila, namanya "Para mertua." Saya pindah bersama keluarga di Amerika -- (Tawa) Anda sudah menebaknya! -- yang bermusuhan dengan mertuanya. Kami kumpulkan mereka ke satu rumah, saya membunuh mereka secara verbal, kami membuka kotak Pandora, dan saya menghentikan perkelahian tentang donat dan Thanksgiving, dan membicarakan hal yang nyata. Itulah yang ingin saya bicarakan. Saya di sini untuk Anda. Saya akan memberi tahu semua yang saya tahu di bawah 18 menit tentang cara mendapatkan keinginan Anda. Jadi, saya mau Anda berpikir tentang keinginan Anda. Anda! Dan saya mau Anda egois. Masa bodoh dengan Simon dan "Kita", Ini tentang saya, sekarang! (Tawa) (Tepukan tangan) Maaf, Simon. Apa yang Anda mau? Ini kesepakatannya. Saya tak mau itu terdengar bagus bagi orang lain. Menjadi sehat tak akan membuat Anda berolahraga. Mengecilkan payudara lelaki Anda, agar bisa bercinta, itu baru motivasi. (Tawa) Jadi, saya mau tahu: Apa yang Anda mau? Apa Anda ingin kurus? Melipat tigakan gaji Anda? Membangun yayasan non-profit? Menemukan cinta? Apa itu? Temukan itu sekarang. Anda sudah tahu. Jangan terlalu dipikir, pilih saja satu. Inilah masalahnya. Anda tak akan memilih. Jadi, kita akan berbicara tentang cara mendapatkan keinginan Anda. Sebetulnya, mendapatkannya itu sederhana. Saya tak bilang itu mudah, Namun sangat sederhana. Faktanya, kalau Anda pikir lagi, kita hidup di zaman yang paling keren. Jadi, apa pun yang Anda pikirkan, Anda ingin makan sehat untuk menyembuhkan diabetes, Anda ingin merawat para orang tua, dan membuat panti jompo, Anda mau pindah ke Afrika dan membangun sekolah; tebak? Anda bisa ke toko buku sekarang, dan membeli 10 buku dari para ahli tentang cara melakukannya. Anda bisa lihat Google, Anda akan menemukan setidaknya seribu blog tentang langkah-langkah transformasi yang sudah dilakukan orang lain. Anda bisa temukan siapa pun secara online dan menguntit mereka! (Tawa) Anda bisa langsung menirunya -- gunakan cara yang ia pakai. Ikuti orang lain karena mereka sudah melakukannya. Mengapa Anda belum mendapatkan keinginan Anda? Anda punya semua informasinya, kontak yang Anda perlukan, ada banyak bantuan gratis untuk memulai bisnis, atau ikut dalam komunitas, atau apa pun keinginan Anda. Semuanya karena satu kata: B*©#. Jangan bilang siapa-siapa, Anda tahu maksud saya kan? Kata B ini ada dimana-mana! Anda selalu mendengarnya. Sejujurnya, saya tak tahu apa bagusnya kata ini. Anda tak terlihat pintar ketika menyebutnya. Itu juga tak menggambarkan perasaan Anda yang sebenarnya. Itu hanya kata yang paling mudah diucapkan. Tentu Anda tahu saya membicarakan kata ... [Baik] "Apa kabar?" "Oh, saya baik." Oh, benarkah? Membawa beban 20 kg, Anda baik-baik saja? Merasa seperti teman sekamar dengan pasangan Anda, belum bercinta selama 4 bulan, Anda baik-baik saja? Benarkah? Saya kira tidak. Tapi, ketika Anda bilang "Baik". Itu adalah trik jenius. Karena jika Anda baik-baik saja, Anda tak perlu melakukan apa-apa. Tapi, jika dipikir lagi, saya jadi marah. Sekarang kita membahas kehidupan dan Anda menjelaskan pengalaman hidup ini dengan kata "Baik"? Benar-benar kata yang dangkal! Jika Anda lelah, katakan! Jika Anda bahagia, katakanlah itu! Katakan kebenaran! Ini tak hanya untuk aturan sosial: "Oh, saya tak mau membebani Anda dengan kebencian saya," atau, "Hai, saya senang, kemudian Anda sedih." Masalah dari kata "baik" adalah Anda mengatakannya ke diri Anda sendiri. Saya jamin Anda meyakinkan diri kalau Anda baik-baik saja tanpa merasakannya. Itulah mengapa Anda tak mendorong diri Anda. Anda sudah putus asa saat Anda katakan, "Tak apa-apa, ibu saya tak akan berubah, saya tak bisa beritahu dia lagi." "Saya baik-baik saja. Kita bercerai setelah anak-anak lulus, jadi kita tidur di kamar terpisah dulu." "Saya tak apa-apa. Saya dipecat dan berjuang membayar tagihan, ya memang susah mencari pekerjaan." Satu alasan mengapa kata ini sangat mengganggu saya adalah ilmuwan telah menghitung - Oh ya, saya turun! (Tawa) Ilmuwan telah menghitung kemungkinan Anda dilahirkan Ya, mereka telah menghitungnya. Saya lihat Anda diatas sana. Mereka menghitung angka Anda - Ya, Anda yang berdiri, mohon duduk untuk ini. Mereka telah menghitung kemungkinannya. Mereka memperhitungkan peperangan, bencana, dan dinosaurus, dan lainnya. Sadarkah Anda, kemungkinan Anda, ya, Anda, tutup komputernya, berdiri untuk saya, Doug! (Tawa) Jadi, kemungkinan Doug di sini, balik badan, sapa semuanya -- kemungkinan Doug dilahirkan pada saat ia dilahirkan, dari orang tuanya, dengan struktur DNA-nya, dengan 1:400 triliun! Luar biasa,kan? Doug: "Saya sangat beruntung!" Ya! Anda tidak biasa-biasa saja, Anda fantastis! Anda punya ide besar untuk sebuah alasan, dan itu bukan untuk menyiksa diri Anda. Terima kasih. Terima kasih, Doug. (Tepukan tangan) Christine benar saat mengatakan Anda semua bisa naik ke panggung. Karena kita semua termasuk kategori ini. Satu dari 400 triliun. Sepanjang hari, Anda punya ide yang bisa mengubah hidup Anda, mengubah dunia, perasaan Anda, dan apa yang Anda lakukan? Tidak ada! (Menggeram) Semoga saya tak mengejek Anda. (Tawa) Anda tidak membayar untuk itu. (Tawa) Saya ingin Anda berpikir sejenak, saya suka analogi "tombol snooze dalam diri" -- Anda punya ide luar biasa yang muncul. Anda melihat orang terus, dan saya jamin, seperti bola ping pong -- bam-bam-bam, setiap Anda punya ide, lalu apa? -- Anda menekan tombol snooze itu! Apa keputusan pertama Anda pagi ini? Saya yakin Anda tidur lagi. "Ya, keputusan pertama hari ini, saya 1:400 triliun, saya akan tidur lagi." Saya mengerti, ranjang Anda nyaman dan hangat! Jika beruntung, di samping Anda ada orang yang dicintai, atau kalau saya, ada suami, kedua anak saya, dan mungkin anjing. Alasan saya membahas keputusan ini dan "tombol snooze dalam diri," adalah karena di semua aspek kehidupan yang ingin Anda rubah, ada satu fakta yang perlu diketahui. Hanya satu: [Anda tak akan pernah ingin melakukannya] Tak akan pernah. Tak ada yang akan datang, motivasi tak akan datang, Anda tak akan pernah ingin melakukannya. Kata para ilmuwan, "energi aktivasi". Itu adalah usaha untuk berubah dari melakukan hal biasa menjadi hal baru. Jadi, coba tes ini besok. Anda merasa mewah, saya tahu, Anda menghadiri TED. (Tawa) Coba ini. Besok pagi, pasang alarm Anda 30 menit lebih awal. Ketika alarm itu bunyi, buka selimutnya, berdiri, dan mulai hari Anda. Tak ada tombol snooze. Jangan menundanya. Jangan ada "Saya akan tunggu lima detik karena tak ada Mel di sini" -- Lakukan itu. Alasan saya ingin Anda melakukannya adalah karena Anda akan berhadapan dengan usaha fisik yang diperlukan untuk mengubah sikap Anda. Apakah Anda pikir orang yang gemuk pernah ingin diet? Tentu tidak! Apa mereka ingin makan ayam rebus dan kacang polong ketimbang croissant? Saya kira tidak! Energi aktivasi yang diperlukan untuk meninggalkan komputer Anda dan ke luar rumah untuk jalan sesuai rencana awal Anda sama dengan usaha untuk bangun dari ranjang hangat ke ruangan dingin. Yang menarik dari menjadi dewasa adalah ketika Anda berusia 18 tahun, tak ada yang mengatakan bahwa Anda harus mengatur diri Anda sendiri. Artinya, memaksa Anda untuk melakukan hal yang tak ingin Anda lakukan, agar Anda bisa menjadi apa pun itu yang Anda inginkan. Dan Anda terlalu sibuk menunggu ingin melakukannya. Anda tak akan ingin! Anak saya tak ingin melepas DS-nya. Itu pekerjaan saya! Selesai bermain DS-nya! Kendall, bersihkan Barbienya! Kalau mau mengadakan pesta telanjang di kamar mandi, setidaknya bersihkan! (Tawa) Kunyah makanan dengan mulut tertutup! Ini bukan peternakan! Ayo, makan malam sedang disiapkan, keluar dari lemari. Saat Anda masih kecil, orang tua Anda memaksa Anda melakukan hal tersebut. Karena Anda tak mau melakukannya. Tidak sekarang, nanti, ataupun selamanya! Ketika Anda hebat di satu hal, Anda akan mencari hal lain yang tak ingin dilakukan. Dan Anda akan terhambat, "Saya benci pekerjaan ini, membosankan." Tapi, apakah Anda mencari yang baru? Tidak, Anda hanya mengeluh. Untuk mendapatkan keinginan Anda sangat sederhana. Tapi tidak mudah. Anda harus memaksa diri Anda. Benar-benar memaksa. Saya memakai kata "memaksa" karena ketika Roz di sini berbicara tentang penelitian emosi, dengan gambar dua sisi otak -- saya melihat otaknya dengan sama. Satu sisi otak Anda berjalan otomatis, dan sisi satunya untuk rem darurat. Hanya itu kecepatan yang ada: otomatis dan rem darurat. Tebak yang menjadi favorit otak Anda: otomatis. Anda pasti pernah menyetir ke kantor, dan kemudian lupa telah menyetir ke sana. (Tawa) Anda tidak mabuk! Otak Anda dalam keadaan otomatis. Otak Anda berfungsi di tingkat rendah. Masalahnya adalah setiap Anda melakukan hal yang berbeda dari biasanya, tebak apa yang dilakukan otak Anda -- rem darurat! Dan itulah reaksi untuk semuanya! Anda ke dapur dan melihat banyak piring kotor. Dan Anda berpikir lagi, "Saya akan membunuh mereka. Saya akan membiarkannya agar mereka yang mencucinya." Tapi, itu bukan rutinitas Anda, kan? Jadi, otak Anda mengerem darurat, dan menjadi otomatis. "Saya cuci dengan kesal saja dan tak bercinta nanti." (Tawa) (Tepukan tangan) Jadi, ketika saya katakan "memaksa", semua yang berbeda dari rutinitas Anda akan memerlukan paksaan. Pikirkan tentang hidup Anda, sebenarnya lucu karena kita bertumbuh menjadi dewasa, dan membuat hidup kita memiliki rutinitas stabil, dan kemudian kita bosan! Anda bangun di waktu yang sama, makan pagi yang sama, menyetir dengan sama, hadir di kantor, terlihat sibuk, menghindari telepon, membuka Facebook, menghadiri pertemuan sambil menggambar, kembali dan membuka Facebook, merencanakan untuk malam, terlihat sibuk lagi, menyetir pulang, makan malam yang mirip, menonton media yang sama, tidur, dan melakukannya lagi! Makanya Anda bosan sekali! Rutinitasnya membunuh Anda. Saya punya teori mengapa orang-orang terkurung dalam hidup. Anda mungkin pernah mengambil kelas Basic Psych 101, dan mempelajari "Hierarki Kebutuhan" milik Abraham Maslow. Tubuh Anda cukup keren. Anda punya kebutuhan dasar ini. Tubuh Anda diatur untuk mengirim sinyal. Ketika butuh makanan, apa yang Anda rasakan? Ketika butuh air, apa yang Anda rasakan? Ketika butuh bercinta, apa yang dirasakan? (Tawa) -- Terima kasih. Saya kira ketika Anda merasa terkurung atau tak puas dalam hidup, itu adalah sebuah sinyal. Artinya bukan hidup Anda rusak. Itu pertanda bahwa salah satu kebutuhan dasar Anda tak terpenuhi. Kebutuhan untuk menjelajah. Hidup dan tubuh Anda selalu bertumbuh. Sel, rambut, kuku Anda beregenerasi selama hidup Anda. Dan jiwa Anda butuh eksplorasi dan pertumbuhan. Cara mendapatkannya hanya dengan memaksakan diri untuk merasa tak nyaman. Memaksa diri Anda untuk keluar dari pikiran Anda. Jika Anda tak keluar, Anda terperangkap. Itu bukan perkataan Tuhan, kan? Bukan! Nyatanya, jika percakapan diri Anda sendiri disiarkan, kami akan mengubah pola pikir Anda. (Tawa) Anda menjauhi orang yang berbicara seperti percakapan diri Anda sendiri. Jadi, keluarlah dari pemikiran Anda! Perasaan Anda menyiksa Anda sendiri! Saya tak peduli dengan perasaan Anda! Saya peduli dengan keinginan Anda! Jika mendengarkan perasaan, keinginan Anda tak akan didapatkan. Karena Anda tak akan ingin melakukannya. Dan Anda perlu keluar dari zona nyaman. Ini bukan tentang mengambil risiko, ini tentang keluar dari zona nyaman Anda. Tiga detik pertama saat Anda paksa diri untuk bangun memang tak nyaman. Tapi, setelah Anda bangun, luar biasa. Tiga detik pertama saat Anda diajak menari oleh seseorang di sini, dan Anda berpikir untuk melakukannya, tapi kemudian Anda ragu. Pengalaman itu adalah akibat dari impuls untuk melakukannya, namun, Anda tak memberi energi aktivasi untuk memaksa Anda, maka rem Anda tertarik -- "Saya tak akan naik bersama orang gila itu, saya tak suka menari." Ketika saya bertemu Rachel, kita berbincang, dan singkat cerita, dia men-tweet saya. Dan kita berteman. Boom! Pergilah ke luar. Di sanalah keajaibannya. Di sanalah tempat 1:400 triliunnya. Jadi, semua yang saya lakukan - oh, OK, ini bagian terakhir. Maaf. Satu hal yang bisa Anda pakai, yaitu "aturan lima detik". Pikiran Anda bisa memproses mimik wajah dalam 33 milidetik. Sangat cepat. Hal lain yang juga sangat cepat adalah salah satu impuls kecil akan menarik Anda, jika Anda tidak melakukannya dalam lima detik, rem daruratnya akan tertarik dan idenya mati. Ketika Anda mendapat impuls untuk menari saat bandnya bermain, jika Anda berpikir selama lima detik, Anda akan menarik rem daruratnya. Jika sebuah ceramah menginspirasi Anda, dan Anda diam selama lima detik, - Tulislah catatan atau kirimlah pesan - bentuk fisik apa pun untuk memulai idenya, Anda akan mengerem dan membunuh idenya. Masalahnya bukan idenya. Masalahnya Anda tidak melakukannya. Anda membunuhnya. Itu bukan salah saya. Itu bukan salah siapa-siapa. Anda melakukannya sendiri. Hentikan! Saya bergantung pada Anda. 1:400 triliun. Anda harus melakukan sesuatu! Itu tak akan terjadi dalam pikiran Anda. Jadi, saya ingin Anda berlatih hari ini. Ketika Anda pergi ke pesta, saya kira koktail adalah ide bagus, saya ingin Anda melatih "aturan lima detik". Anda melihat seseorang dan dapat impuls, dia terlihat menarik? Jalan ke sana! Anda terinspirasi seseorang dan punya permintaan? Buatlah! Itulah mengapa Anda di sini! Bereksperimenlah dengan ini, dan saya kira Anda akan kaget. Satu lagi, saya ingin Anda tahu bahwa semua yang saya lakukan, entah di acara radio atau televisi, di buku saya, atau di kolom, itu untuk Anda. Dan jika saya bisa membuat Anda melakukan hal yang tak Anda inginkan, agar bisa mendapatkan keinginan Anda, saya akan melakukannya. Tapi, Anda perlu untuk jalan ke sana, membuka mulut Anda, dan memintanya. Pahamkah Anda? Bagus. Ayo lakukan itu. (Tepukan tangan) Terima kasih! Terima kasih, ya! Ayo berdiri! Anda punya impulsnya, berdiri! Terima kasih!