Bigger welcome! Hello, San Francisco! TEDx – oh my God, blinding light! Hi, everybody! How are you? (Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so... My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years, I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want. Within reason! My husband's here. So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom, in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in, if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary. For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show. Five days a week, I go live in forty cities and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck. Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now? That is a hundred million people! That's insane! And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing, which is also insane, it's called "In-laws". I move in with families across America – (Laughter) You guessed it! – who are at war with their in-laws. We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody, we open up Pandora's box, and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner, and talk about the real stuff. And that's what I want to talk to you about. I'm here for you. I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes about how to get what you want. So I want you to take a millisecond right now and think about what you want. You! And I want you to be selfish. Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now! (Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon. What do you want? And here's the deal. I don't want it to sound good to other people. Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill. Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody, now that's motivation. (Laughter) So, I want to know: What do you want? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income? Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love? What is it? Get it, right here. You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something. That's part of the problem. You won't pick. So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want. And frankly, getting what you want is simple. But notice I didn't say it was easy. It's very simple. In fact, if you think about it, we live in the most amazing moment in time. So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be, you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes, you want to figure out how to take care of the elders and start a new hospice center, you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what? You can walk into a book store – right now! – and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts on how the hell you do it. You could Google it. And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs documenting the step, by step, by step transformation that somebody else is already doing. You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them! (Laughter) You can just walk in their footsteps – just use the science of drafting. Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it! So why don't you have what you want, when you have all the information that you need, you have the contacts that you need, there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business, or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!? It all comes down to one word: F*©#. Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about? The f-bomb. It's everywhere! You hear it all the time! I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word. I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it. And it's really not expressing how you really feel. It's sort of a cheap shot to take. And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine". "How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine." Oh, really? You are? Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine? Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine? You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine? Really?! I don't think so! But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius. Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it. But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry. Here we are at a conference about being alive and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"?! What a flimsy and feeble word! If you're crappy, say you're crappy! If you're amazing say you're amazing! Tell the truth! And this not only goes for the social construct: "Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life", or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible." The bigger issue – The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself. That thing that you want, I guarantee you, you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it. That's why you're not pushing yourself. It's the areas in your life where you've given up. Where you've said, "Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change, so I just can't have that conversation." "I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced, so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms." "I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills, but whatever – It's hard to get a job." One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is, scientists have calculated – Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter) Scientists have calculated the odds of you being born. That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there. They've crunched the numbers on you – Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this. They've crunched the numbers on you being born. And they took into account all of the wars, and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs, and everything else. And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you, yeah, right here, put your computer away, stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter) So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody – the odds of Doug being born at the moment in time he was born, to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have, one in four hundred trillion! Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky! Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic! You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself. Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause) Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage. Because all of you – we're all in this category. One in four hundred trillion. All day long you have ideas that could change your life, that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel, and what do you do with them? Nothing! (Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter) You didn't pay for that. (Laughter) And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have – I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" – you have these amazing ideas that bubble up. You've been watching people all day and I guarantee you, like ping pong balls – bam-bam-bam and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze! What's the first decision you made this morning? I bet it was to go back to bed. "Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion, I'm going to go back to sleep." And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm! If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you, or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog. And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today, and the inner snooze alarm, is because in any area of your life that you want to change, any – there's one fact that you need to know. This one: You are never going to feel like it. Ever. No one's coming, motivation isn't happening, you're never going to feel like it. Scientists call it activation energy. That's what they call the force required to get you to change from what you're doing on autopilot to do something new. So try this test tomorrow. You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED. (Laughter) Try this. Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier. And then when it goes off, take those sheets, throw them off, and stand up and start your day. No snooze, no delay, no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" – Do it. And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face with the physical, and I mean physical force that's required to change your behavior. Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight ever feels like going on a diet? Of course not! You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas instead of a croissant? I don't think so! The activation energy required to get your ass away from your computer and out the front door, to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on, is the exact same amount of force that it takes you to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room. What's interesting about being an adult is that when you become eighteen, nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself. And by "parent yourself", I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do, so you can be everything that you're supposed to be. And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it. And you're never going to! My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job! Get off the damn DS! Kendall, clean up the Barbies! If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up! (Laughter) God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud! Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry. As parents, and you were a kid, your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing. Because you won't. Ever. Not now, not then, not ever! And even when you get good at something, you'll figure out something else you don't want to do. And then you'll plateau out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring." But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one. It's very, very simple to get what you want. But it's not easy. You have to force yourself. And I mean force. And the reason why I use the word "force" – when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking, and she had the picture of two sides of the brain – I look at the brain the exact same way. Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot and the other side as emergency brake. That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake. And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot. You've had the experience where you've driven to work and you get there and you're like, "Oh my God, I don't remember ever driving here." (Laughter) You weren't drunk! That was your brain on autopilot. It was functioning just at this level. And the problem with your mind is that anytime you do anything that's different from your normal routine, guess what your brain does — emergency brake! And it has that reaction for everything. Everything! You walk into the kitchen and see everybody's left their breakfast dishes for you. And you think for the hundredth time, "I'm going to kill them. In fact I'm gonna leave it here and I'm going to make them do it." But that's not your normal routine, is it? So your mind goes: emergency brake! And you go right into autopilot. "I'll just load it, and be pissed, and then not have sex. That's what I'm going to do." (Laughter) (Applause) So, when I say "force", anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. And if you think about your life, it's kind of funny because we are kids and then we become adults, and we spend so much time trying to push our life into some sort of stable routine, and then we grow bored of it! You wake up at the same time every day, you have largely the same breakfast, you drive to work the same way, show up at work, look busy, avoid making calls, update Facebook, you attend a meeting and doodle the whole time, go back and update Facebook, make plans for the evening, you look busy some more, then drive home the same way, you eat largely the same dinner or a variety of it, you watch the same kind of media, and then you go to bed, and do the same thing all over again! No wonder you're bored out of your mind! It's the routine that's killing you. I have this theory about why people get stuck in life. So, most of you've probably taken your Basic Psych 101 class, and you've bumped into Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs"? Well, your body is kinda cool. Because you have these basic needs. And your body is wired to send you signals. If you need food, what do you feel? If you need water, what do you feel? If you need sex, what do you feel? (Laughter) Thank you. I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration. Everything about your life, about your body, grows! Your cells regenerate, your hair, your nails, everything grows for your entire life. And your soul needs exploration and growth. And the only way you'll get it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable. Forcing yourself to get outside, out of your head. Thank you. If you're in your head, you're behind enemy lines. That is not God talking, okay? It's not! In fact, if I put a speaker on it and we broadcast what you say to yourself, we would institutionalize you. (Laughter) You would not hang out with people that talk to you the way you talk to yourself. So get out of your head! Your feelings! Your feelings are screwing you! I don't care how you feel! I care about what you want! And if you listen to how you feel, when it comes to what you want – you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it. And you need to get outside your comfort zone. It's not about taking risks, it's about getting outside your comfort zone. Those first three seconds when you push yourself out of bed, they blow. But once you're up, it's great. Those first three seconds when you're sitting here in a stadium like this and somebody says, "Get up and come dance," and you think, "Oh, I should do that," and then you're like, "Uhmm." That experience that you had when you had the impulse to do it and then you didn't do the activation energy required to force yourself, your emergency brake got pulled – "I'm sitting right here. I'm not going up with those crazy people, I don't like to dance..." What happened for me is I came up, and I bumped into Rachel, and then we started talking, and next thing you know, she's tweeting. And we're friends. And – boom! Get outside. That's where the magic is. That's where the one in four hundred trillion exists. So everything I do – oh, OK, this is the last part. Sorry. So one more thing that you can use, I call it the five-second-rule. Your mind can process a facial expression in 33 milliseconds. It can move pretty damn quick. The other thing that it does very quickly is if you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you, if you don't marry it with an action within five seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Kill it! If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing, if you don't stand up in five seconds, you're going to pull the emergency brake. If you have an impulse about, you were inspired by somebody's speech today, and you don't do something within five seconds – write a note, send yourself a text – anything physical to marry it with the idea, you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them. You kill them. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault. You're doing it to yourself. Stop it! I'm counting on you. One in four hundred trillion. You got stuff to do! And it's not going to happen in your head. So I want you to practice this today. When we go off to party, thank God it's coming soon, because I think we all could use a cocktail, I want you to practice the five-second-rule. You see somebody and you think you have an impulse, they look interesting? Walk over there! You were inspired by somebody and you have a request? Make it! That's why you're here! Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens. And one more thing, I want you to know that everything that I do, whether it's the radio show, or the television show, or the book that I wrote, or the column, it's for you. And if there is anything that I can do, if I can do anything to make you do the things you don't want to do, so you can have what you want, I will do it. But you need to walk over, you need to open your mouth, and you need to make the request. You got it? Good. Go do it. (Applause) Thank you! Thank you, yes! Stand up! You have the impulse, stand up! Thank you!
Koja dobrodošlica! Pozdrav, San Francisco! TEDx - o moj Bože, svjetla su zasljepljujuća! Pozdrav svima! Kako ste? (Publika odzdravlja) Dobro?! O moj Bože! Dobro, dakle... Moje je ime Mel Robbins i zadnjih sedamnaest godina sam pomagala ljudima da dobiju sve što su željeli. U razumnim okvirima! Moj suprug je ovdje! Pomagala sam im u sudnicama, sobama za sastanke, spavaonicama, dnevnim boravcima, u svim sobama koje možete zamisliti. Ako sam s vama, svim sredstvima ću vam pomoći da dobijete što želite. Posljednje tri godine -- vodila sam radio emisiju. Pet dana u tjednu, emisija se emitira uživo u četrdeset gradova, a ja širom Amerike razgovaram s muškarcima i ženama koji se osjećaju nemoćno. Znate li da trećina Amerikanaca upravo sada osjeća nezadovoljstvo svojim životom? To je sto milijuna ljudi! To je ludo! Susrela sam se s time u toj emisiji koju vodim i koja se, što je također ludo, zove "Rodbina". Useljavam se obiteljima širom Amerike -- (Smijeh) Zamislite! -- koje su u ratu sa svojom rodbinom. Useljavamo ih u istu kuću, a ja, verbalno, masakriram svakog, otvaramo Pandorinu kutiju i sprečavam ljude da se svađaju oko krafni ili tko će biti domaćin na Dan zahvalnosti i pričamo o pravim stvarima. I o tome vam želim pričati. Ja sam tu zbog vas. Reći ću vam sve što znam u manje od osamnaest minuta o tome kako da dobijete što želite. Želim da baš sad stanete na milisekundu i razmislite što želite. Vi! I želim da budete sebični. Zaboli vas za Simona i "mi" pojmove. Radi se o meni, upravo sada. (Smijeh) (Pljesak) Oprosti Simone. Što vi želite? Evo dogovora! Ne želim da zvuči dobro drugim ljudima. To što ste zdravi vas neće natjerati na trčanje pokretnom trakom. Motivacija je izgubiti višak kilograma i kože pa da možete izlaziti. (Smijeh) Želim znati: što vi želite? Želite li izgubiti na težini? Želite li utrostručiti prihode? Želite li osnovati neprofitnu udrugu? Želite se zaljubiti? Što je to? Recite, ovdje. Vi znate što je, nemojte sad analizirati do smrti, odaberite nešto. To je dio problema. Odbijate izabrati. Pričat ćemo o tome kako da dobijete ono što želite. Iskreno, dobiti što želite je vrlo jednostavno. Primijetite da nisam rekla lako. Vrlo je jednostavno. Zapravo, ako razmislite o tome, mi živimo u zapanjujućem trenutku vremena. Ta misao koju imate ovdje gore, što god da to jest, želite jesti zdravu hranu kako biste izliječili dijabetes, želite saznati kako da pazite na starije i otvoriti dom za njih, želite se preseliti u Afriku i sagraditi školu... Pazi sad! Možete ušetati u knjižaru -- upravo sada! -- i kupiti barem 10 knjiga koje su napisali priznati stručnjaci kako će te, dovraga, to napraviti. Možete i guglati. I možete pronaći, što ja znam, najmanje tisuću blogova koji korak po korak opisuju taj preobražaj koji netko upravo proživljava. Možete pronaći nekog online i pratiti ga u stopu! (Smijeh) Slijedite njihove postupke -- preuzmite njihovo znanje. Radite ono što su radili drugi, jer netko to već radi. Pa zašto onda nemate ono što želite, ako imate sve informacije koje trebate. Imate potrebne kontakte, vjerojatno postoje i besplatni alati koji vam omogućuju da započnete poslovanje ili se pridružite grupi, ili radite sve što poželite!? Sve se svodi na jednu riječ: D*©#. Zatvorite ulazna vrata, razumijete o čemu pričam? Ta D-bomba. Svuda je oko nas! Stalno je slušamo! Ja zaista ne razumijem privlačnost te riječi. Mislim, ne činite se pametni kad je izgovarate. I ne izražava baš kako se osjećate. To je samo jedan jeftin pokušaj. I vi svi znate da mislim na riječ "dobro". "Kako si?" "Pa, dobro." Stvarno? Jesi li? Tegliš okolo tih 20 kilograma viška i dobro si? Prema supružniku imaš iste osjećaje kao prema cimeru i dobro si? Niste se seksali četiri mjeseca i dobro si? Stvarno?! Meni ne izgleda tako! No, vidite, to što govorite da ste dobro ima svoje prednosti, zapravo je genijalno. Jer ako ste dobro, ne morate ništa raditi po tom pitanju. Ali kad mislite o toj riječi "dobro", mene to strašno ljuti. Evo nas na konferenciji s temom kako živjeti, a vi ćete opisati iskustvo o tome kako ste živi kao "dobro"?! Kakva klimava i slaba riječ! Ako ste loše, onda ste loše! Ako ste super, onda ste super! Recite istinu! I ne radi se ovdje samo o društvenim odnosima: "Ne želim te opterećivati činjenicom da mrzim svoj život", ili "Baš mi je super! Ali ćeš se ti zbog toga osjećati loše." Još veći problem -- veći problem s "dobro" je da vi to govorite sebi. Ta stvar koju želite, jamčim vam, uvjereni ste da ste dobro jer je nemate. I zato ne tražite više od sebe. To su područja u vašem životu od kojih ste odustali. Gdje ste si rekli: "Ma, dobro sam. Moja se majka neće nikada promijeniti pa neću o tome razgovarati s njom." "Dobro sam. Razvest ćemo se tek kad djeca diplomiraju, a do tada ćemo spavati u odvojenim sobama." Dobro sam, ostao sam bez posla, jedva spajam kraj s krajem, ali nema veze - posao je teško naći." Jedan od razloga zbog kojeg me ta riječ toliko smeta je, znanstvenici su izračunali -- Da, silazim! (Smijeh) Znanstvenici su izračunali vjerojatnost da ćete vi biti rođeni. Točno. Bavili su se time, računali. Vidim vas tamo gore. Računali su o vama -- Ljudi, vi što stojite, možda poželite sjesti kad čujete. Izračunali su vjerojatnost da vi budete rođeni. I uzeli su u obzir sve ratove i sve prirodne katastrofe, dinosaure i sve ostalo. Jeste li svjesni da je vjerojatnost da se vi rodite, hej, vi tamo, odložite to računalo i ustanite za mene, Doug! (Smijeh) Dakle, vjerojatnost da se rodi ovaj Doug, okrenite se i pozdravite prisutne -- vjerojatnost da se rodi Doug, u trenutku kad se rodio, od roditelja koji su ga stvorili, s DNK strukturom koju ima, je jedan od četiri stotine bilijuna! Nije li to čudesno? Doug: Ja sam pravi sretnik! Mel: Da! i zato niste dobro, nego ste fantastično! S razlogom imate ideje kako promijeniti život i niste tu da se mučite. Hvala vam, hvala vam Doug. (Pljesak) Christine je bila u pravu kad je rekla da biste svi mogli ovdje održati govor. Jer svi vi -- svi smo u toj kategoriji. Jedan od četiri stotine bilijuna. Čitav dan vam se vrzmaju ideje koje mogu promijeniti vaš život, koje mogu promijeniti cijeli svijet, promijeniti način na koji se osjećate, a što vi radite s njima? Ništa! Nemam vas namjeru začarati. Niste za to platili ulaznicu. (Smijeh) Želim samo da razmislite na minutu, jer svi imamo -- volim koristiti tu usporedbu "unutarnji gumb za odgađanje" -- imate te čudesne ideje koje se pojavljuju. Cijeli dan gledate ljude oko sebe i jamčim vam, poput ping-pong loptice - bam-bam-bam-bam i svaki put kad imate neku ideju, što vi napravite? Pritisnete odgodu! Što vam je prva odluka kad se probudite ujutro? Kladim se da je povratak u krevet. "Da, moja prva odluka danas, ja sam jedan od četiri stotine bilijuna, je da se vratim u krevet." Jasno mi je zašto! Krevet je udoban! Mekan! Topao! Ako ste sretni, netko tko vas voli je uz vas u njemu, ili u mom slučaju, tu je suprug, dvoje djece, a možda i pas. Razlog zašto ističem ovu prvu odluku koju ste donijeli danas i taj gumb za odgodu je što u svim područjima života koja želite promijeniti, svim - ima jedna činjenica koju trebate znati. Ova: Nikad se nećete osjećati spremno. Nikad. Nitko ne dolazi, nema motivacije, nikad se nećete osjećati spremno. Znanstvenici to zovu energijom aktivacije. Zato kažu da je potrebna sila koja će vas natjerati da prestanete raditi to što radite na automatskom pilotu i radite nešto novo. Pokušajte testirati to sutra. Mislite da ste baš fora. Znam, vi ste sudionici TED konferencije. (Smijeh) Pokušajte sljedeće. Namjestite alarm za sutra ujutro na trideset minuta ranije. I kad se alarm oglasi, primite posteljinu, zbacite je sa sebe, ustanite i započnite svoj dan. Bez drijemanja, bez odgađanja, bez: "Još ću ostati ovdje pet sekundi jer me Mel ne gleda." Učinite to. Želim da to učinite jer ćete se suočiti oči u oči s fizičkom, i doslovno to mislim, fizičkom silom koja je potrebna za promjenu ponašanja. Mislite li da netko tko treba izgubiti na težini ikad želi započeti s mršavljenjem? Naravno da ne! Mislite li da im se jede kuhana piletina i grašak umjesto kroasana? Ja mislim da ne! Energija aktivacije potrebna da odvojite guzicu od vašeg računala i uputite se ka vratima u šetnju, za koju ste rekli da ćete ići, upravo je jednaka sili koja će vas izvući iz toplog kreveta u hladnu sobu. Zanimljivo je kad ste odrasli, kad napunite osamnaest, a to vam nitko nije rekao, da je vaš posao da se odgajate. i pod "odgajati se" mislim da je vaš posao natjerati se raditi stvari koje ne želite raditi, kako biste mogli biti sve što biste trebali biti. I tako ste prokleto zauzeti čekajući da se tako osjećate. A nećete nikad! Moj sin još uvijek ne želi prestati biti "dragi sin". To je moj posao! Prestani više s tim prokletim "dragi sine"! Kendall, počisti Barbike! Ako ćeš imati golišavu zabavu u kupaonici, barem je počisti! (Smijeh) Bože, žvači zatvorenih usta. Nismo u staji pa da glasno žvačemo! Vrijeme je za večeru, izlazi iz ostave. Roditelji, a bili ste djeca, roditelji vas tjeraju da radite stvari koje vam se baš i ne rade. I nikad neće. Nikad. Ne sad, ne tada, nikad! I kad postanete dobri u nečem, pronaći ćete nešto novo što ne želite raditi. Kad dosegnete limit, postaje vam dosadno: "Mrzim ovaj posao. Bla-bla, dosadno mi je." Hoćete li potražiti novi? Ne! Samo ćete se žaliti na postojeći. Vrlo je jednostavno postići ono što želite. Ali nije lako. Trebate se prisiliti. Mislim, stvarno prisiliti. Razlog zašto koristim riječi "sila" -- dok je Roz bila na pozornici i govorila o praćenju emocija, prikazivala je sliku dvije strane mozga -- i ja gledam na mozak na identičan način. Jedino što jednu stranu mozga gledam kao automatskog pilota, a drugu kao kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti. To su jedine dvije brzine koje imate: automatski pilot, kočnica za slučaj opasnosti. Pogodite koju od njih vaš mozak više voli: automatskog pilota. Prilikom vožnje na posao ste, kad ste stigli na odredište, barem jednom pomislili: "O, Bože, ne sjećam se kako sam stigla ovdje." (Smijeh) Niste bili pijani! Vaš je mozak bio na automatskom pilotu. Funkcionirao je na ovoj razini. Problem s vašim umom je da svaki put kad učinite nešto drugačije od vaše uobičajene rutine, pogodite što vaš mozak radi -- povuče kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti! I takva mu je reakcija na sve! Sve! Uđete u kuhinju i vidite da su svi, nakon doručka, vama ostavili posuđe da ga pospremite. I vi pomislite po stoti put: "Sve ću ih pobiti. Zapravo, sve ću ostaviti kako jest i natjerat ću ih da oni pospreme." Ali to nije vaša uobičajena rutina, zar ne? Pa vaš um povuče kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti! A vi se vratite na automatskog pilota: "Napunit ću perilicu, biti ljuta i neću se seksati. To ću napraviti." (Smijeh) (Pljesak) Stoga, kad kažem "sila", sve što zahtijeva raskid s vašom rutinom, zahtijeva silu. I kad razmislite o svom životu, nekako je smiješno jer smo djeca pa odrastemo i provodimo toliko puno vremena pokušavajući usmjeriti svoj život u neku vrstu stabilne rutine da bismo živjeli dosađujući se. Budimo se svaki dan u isto vrijeme, uglavnom jedemo isti doručak, na posao se vozimo istim putem, pojavimo se na poslu, izgledamo zaposleno, izbjegavamo pozive, ažuriramo Facebook, pojavljujemo se na sastancima, črčkamo po papiru cijelo vrijeme, ponovno ažuriramo Facebook, radimo planove za večer, izgledamo još malo zaposlenije, vraćamo se doma istim putem, jedemo uglavnom istu večeru ili neku njenu varijantu, gledamo isti program idemo u krevet i onda radimo sve to ispočetka! Nije čudo da vam je dosadno! Ta vas rutina ubija. Imam teoriju zašto ljudi zapnu u nekom trenutku života. Većina vas je odslušala Osnove psihologije i naišli ste na Maslovljevu hijerarhiju potreba? S tijelom ste nekako u redu, jer ste zadovoljili osnovne potrebe. Vaše tijelo vam šalje razne signale. Ako trebate hranu, kako se osjećate? Ako trebate vodu, kako se osjećate? Ako trebate seks, kako se osjećate? (Smijeh) Hvala vam. Mislim da kada se osjećate nemoćno ili nezadovoljno svojim životom, to je znak. I to nije znak da je vaš život bezvrijedan, to je znak da nije zadovoljena jedna od vaših osnovnih potreba. Vaša potreba za istraživanjem. Sve u vašem životu, sve u vašem tijelu raste! Vaše se stanice obnavljaju, vaša kosa, vaši nokti, sve raste čitav vaš život. I vaša duša treba istraživanje i rast. Jedini način da to postignete je prisiliti se da vam bude neudobno. Prisiliti sebe da iziđete iz svoje glave. Hvala vam. Ako ste u svojoj glavi, vi ste iza neprijateljskih linija. To vam ne govori Bog, dobro? Ne govori! Zapravo, kad biste stavili zvučnik na vaš um i kad bismo slušali što govorite sami sebi, zatvorili bismo vas u ludnicu. (Smijeh) Ne biste se družili s ljudima koji pričaju s vama na način na koji vi pričate sa sobom. Iziđite iz svoje glave! Vaši osjećaji! Vaši osjećaji vas varaju! Ne zanima me kako se osjećate! Zanima me što želite! Ako slušate kako se osjećate, kad trebate reći što želite -- nećete to moći. Jer nikad se neće osjećati kao da to želite. Trebate izići iz svoje zone udobnosti. Ne govorimo o preuzimanju rizika, već govorimo o izlasku iz zone udobnosti. Te prve tri sekunde kad se istjerate iz kreveta, one su teške. Ali jednom kad izađete, onda je super. Te prve tri sekunde kad sjedite u dvorani poput ove i netko kaže: "Ustanite i plešite.", vi pomislite: "Trebao bih." Ali onda napravite: "Hmmm." To iskustvo koje ste imali kad ste osjetili poticaj da napravite nešto, a niste to napravili, niste aktivirali energiju aktivacije potrebnu da se prisilite, povukli ste svoju kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti: "Ja ću sjediti ovdje. Ne želim biti dio tih luđaka, ne volim plesati..." Meni se dogodilo da sam došla ovdje, naletjela na Rachel, počele smo pričati, ona je počela tvitati. I mi smo prijateljice. Iziđite. Čarolija je vani. Tamo postoje oni od jedan u četiri stotine bilijuna. Sve što radim -- o, ovo je zadnji dio. Oprostite. Još jedan savjet koji možete koristiti. Zovem ga pravilo pet sekundi. Vaš um može pročitati izraz lica u 33 milisekunde. Zaista je brz. Druga stvar u kojoj je vrlo brz je ako imate jedan od onih malih poticaja koji vas privlače, ako ga ne spojite s akcijom unutar pet sekundi, povlačite kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti i ubijate tu misao. Ubijate! Ako imate impuls za ustajanjem i plesom dok bend svira, i ne ustanete u roku od pet sekundi, povući ćete kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti. Ako imate neki poticaj, inspirirao vas je danas nečiji govor, i ne učinite nešto u pet sekundi -- zabilježite, pošaljete si poruku -- bilo što fizički kako biste tu aktivnost spojili s idejom, povući ćete kočnicu za slučaj opasnosti i ubiti ideju. Vaš problem nisu ideje, vaš problem je što ništa ne poduzimate s njima u vezi. Ubijete ih. To nije moja greška. Nije ničija greška. To vi radite sami sebi. Prestanite! Računam na vas. Jedan od četiri stotine bilijuna. Imate toliko toga za napraviti! I to se neće dogoditi u vašoj glavi. Želim da vježbate danas. Kad dođemo na zabavu, hvala Bogu kreće ubrzo, mislim da će nam koktel svima koristiti, želim da vježbate pravilo pet sekundi. Vidite nekog i dobijete poticaj, izgledaju zanimljivo. Priđite im! Netko vas je inspirirao i imate pitanje? Postavite ga! Zato ste ovdje! Isprobavajte, mislim da će vas zaprepastiti to što se događa. I još jedna stvar, želim da znate da sve što ja radim, bez obzira je li to radio ili televizijska emisija ili knjiga koju pišem, kolumna, to je radi vas. I ako postoji išta što mogu učiniti, ako mogu učiniti bilo što da vas natjeram da radite stvari koje ne želite kako biste imali to što želite, ja ću to učiniti. Ali morate mi prići, morate otvoriti usta, morate postaviti pitanje. Jeste li shvatili? Dobro. Učinite to. (Pljesak) Hvala vam! Hvala vam! Ustanite! Imate poticaj, ustanite! Hvala vam!