Hello, TEDWomen, what's up.
Ahoj, TEDWomen, ako to ide?
(Cheering)
(ovácie)
Not good enough. Hello, TEDWomen, what is up?
To nebolo dosť dobré. Ahoj, TEDWomen, ako to ide?
(Loud cheering)
(ovácie)
My name is Maysoon Zayid, and I am not drunk, but the doctor who delivered me was. He cut my mom six different times in six different directions, suffocating poor little me in the process. As a result, I have cerebral palsy, which means I shake all the time. Look. It's exhausting. I'm like Shakira, Shakira meets Muhammad Ali.
Volám sa Maysoon Zayid a nie som opitá, no doktor, ktorý ma privádzal na svet, bol. Rozrezal moju mamu šiestimi rôznymi spôsobmi šiestimi rôznymi smermi, v priebehu čoho mňa, malú chudinku, pridusil. Následkom toho mám detskú mozgovú obrnu, čo znamená, že sa neustále trasiem. Pozrite. Je to vyčerpávajúce. Som ako Shakira, Shakira a Muhammad Ali v jednom.
(Laughter)
(smiech)
CP is not genetic. It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it. No one put a curse on my mother's uterus, and I didn't get it because my parents are first cousins, which they are.
DMO nie je genetická. Nie je to vrodená vada. Nemôžete to chytiť. Niekto nezaklial maternicu mojej mamy a nemám to preto, že by moji rodičia boli bratranec a sesternica, čo inak sú.
(Laughter)
(smiech)
It only happens from accidents, like what happened to me on my birth day.
Stáva sa to len pri nehodách, tak, ako sa to stalo mne pri narodení.
Now, I must warn you, I'm not inspirational.
Musím vás varovať. Nie som zdrojom inšpirácie,
(Laughter)
a nechcem, aby ma niekomu v tejto miestnosti
And I don't want anyone in this room to feel bad for me, because at some point in your life, you have dreamt of being disabled. Come on a journey with me. It's Christmas Eve, you're at the mall, you're driving around in circles looking for parking, and what do you see? Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.
bolo ľúto, pretože v istej chvíli vo vašom živote ste si i vy priali byť postihnutí. Tak si to predstavme. Je Štedrý Deň, ste v nákupnom centre, jazdíte dookola a hľadáte miesto na parkovanie, a čo nevidíte? Šestnásť prázdnych miest pre invalidov.
(Laughter)
A hovoríte si, „Bože, nemohla by som byť
And you're like, "God, can't I just be a little disabled?"
len tak trošku hendikepovaná?“
(Laughter)
(smiech)
Also, I've got to tell you, I've got 99 problems, and palsy is just one.
Taktiež vám musím povedať, že mám 99 problémov a obrna je len jeden z nich.
(Laughter)
Ak by existovala Olympiáda pre utlačovaných,
If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal. I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey.
vyhrala by som zlatú medailu. Som Palestínčanka, Moslimka, som žena, som postihnutá a žijem v New Jersey.
(Laughter)
(smiech) (potlesk)
(Applause)
Ak zo seba teraz nemáte lepší pocit, asi by ste mali mať.
If you don't feel better about yourself, maybe you should.
(Laughter)
Cliffside Park, New Jersey, je moje mesto.
Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown. I have always loved the fact that my hood and my affliction share the same initials. I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk from my house to New York City, I could.
Vždy sa mi páčilo, že moje mesto a moje postihnutie majú rovnaké iniciály. (DMO je anglicky C.P.) Taktiež milujem to, že ak by som chcela ísť peši z domu do New York City, mohla by som.
A lot of people with CP don't walk, but my parents didn't believe in "can't." My father's mantra was, "You can do it, yes you can can."
Mnoho ľudí s DMO nechodí, ale moji rodičia neverili v „nedokážem“. Mantrou môjho otca bolo, „Ty to dáš, ty tam dohopsáš.“
(Laughter) So, if my three older sisters were mopping, I was mopping. If my three older sisters went to public school, my parents would sue the school system and guarantee that I went too, and if we didn't all get A's, we all got my mother's slipper.
(smiech) Takže, keď moje 3 staršie sestry zmývali podlahu, zmývala som aj ja. Ak moje 3 staršie sestry chodili do štátnej školy, moji rodičia by zažalovali školský systém, aby zaručili, že som tam chodila aj ja, a ak sme nedostali všetky jednotky, všetky sme si to od mamy zlízli.
(Laughter)
(smiech)
My father taught me how to walk when I was five years old by placing my heels on his feet and just walking. Another tactic that he used is he would dangle a dollar bill in front of me and have me chase it.
Otec ma naučil chodiť, keď som mala 5 rokov, tak že si položil moje päty na jeho nohy a proste kráčal. Ďalšiu taktiku, ktorú používal, bolo, že predo mnou mával dolárovou bankovkou a nechal ma ju naháňať.
(Laughter)
(smiech)
My inner stripper was very strong.
Moja túžba byť ako striptérka bola veľmi silná
(Laughter)
– (smiech) –
Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten, I was walking like a champ who had been punched one too many times.
a kým nadišiel prvý deň škôlky, chodila som ako šampión, ktorého príliš doudierali.
(Laughter)
Keď som vyrastala, v meste bolo len 6 Arabov,
Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town, and they were all my family.
a všetci boli z mojej rodiny.
(Laughter)
Teraz ich tam je 20
Now there are 20 Arabs in town, and they are still all my family.
a stále sú všetci z mojej rodiny. (smiech)
(Laughter)
Myslím, že si nikto ani nevšimol, že nie sme Taliani.
I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian.
(Laughter)
(smiech) (potlesk)
(Applause)
Toto všetko bolo pred 11. septembrom a predtým, ako politici
This was before 9/11 and before politicians thought it was appropriate to use "I hate Muslims" as a campaign slogan. The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith. They did, however, seem very concerned that I would starve to death during Ramadan. I would explain to them that I have enough fat to live off of for three whole months, so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.
pokladali za vhodné použiť vetu ako „Nenávidím Moslimov,“ ako volebný slogan. Ľudia, s ktorými som vyrastala, nemali problém s mojou vierou, no boli veľmi znepokojení, keď som počas Ramadánu hladovala. Vysvetľovala som im, že mám dostatok tuku, aby som prežila celé tri mesiace, takže postenie sa od východu po západ slnka je hračka.
(Laughter)
I have tap-danced on Broadway. Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy.
Stepovala som na Broadwayi. Áno, na Broadwayi. Šialené. (potlesk)
(Applause)
Rodičia si nemohli dovoliť rehabilitácie,
My parents couldn't afford physical therapy, so they sent me to dancing school. I learned how to dance in heels, which means I can walk in heels. And I'm from Jersey, and we are really concerned with being chic, so if my friends wore heels, so did I.
takže ma poslali do tanečnej školy. Naučila som sa tancovať na podpätkoch, čo znamená, že dokážem chodiť na podpätkoch a som z Jersey, kde si dávame veľmi záležať na tom, aby sme boli štýloví, takže keď mali moje kamarátky podpätky, mala som ich aj ja.
And when my friends went and spent their summer vacations on the Jersey Shore, I did not. I spent my summers in a war zone, because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna.
A keď moje kamarátky trávili leto na plážach Jersey Shore, ja nie. Letá som strávila vo vojnovej zóne, pretože rodičia sa obávali, že ak by sme sa do Palestíny nevracali každé jedno leto,
(Laughter)
vyrástla by z nás Madonna. (smiech)
Summer vacations often consisted of my father trying to heal me, so I drank deer's milk, I had hot cups on my back, I was dunked in the Dead Sea, and I remember the water burning my eyes and thinking, "It's working! It's working!"
Letné dovolenky často zahŕňali snahy môjho otca vyliečiť ma, takže som pila jelenie mlieko, podstúpila bankovanie, bola som ponorená do Mŕtveho mora, a pamätám si, ako ma z tej vody pálili oči a ja som si myslela, „Funguje to! Funguje to!“
(Laughter)
(smiech)
But one miracle cure we did find was yoga. I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. My parents reinforced this notion that I could do anything, that no dream was impossible, and my dream was to be on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital."
Ale našli sme jeden zázračný liek a tým bola joga. Musím vám povedať, je hrozne nudná, ale predtým, ako som sa jej začala venovať, som bola stand-up komička, ktorá nedokázala stáť. A teraz viem stáť aj na hlave. Rodičia umocnili túto teóriu o tom, že dokážem čokoľvek, že žiaden sen nie je nemožný a mojím snom bolo, hrať v seriáli „General Hospital“.
(Laughter)
Šla som na vysokú školu počas pozitívnej diskriminácie
I went to college during affirmative action and got a sweet scholarship to ASU, Arizona State University, because I fit every single quota.
a získala skvelé štipendium na ASU, Arizonskej štátnej univerzite, pretože som splnila každú jednu kvótu.
(Laughter)
Bola som niečo ako maznáčik katedry divadla.
I was like the pet lemur of the theater department. Everybody loved me. I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework, I got A's in all of my classes, A's in all of their classes.
Všetci ma milovali. Robila som domáce úlohy menej inteligentným študentom, dostala som A-čka zo všetkých mojich predmetov, A-čka zo všetkých ich predmetov.
(Laughter)
Zakaždým, keď som zahrala scénu
Every time I did a scene from "The Glass Menagerie," my professors would weep. But I never got cast. Finally, my senior year, ASU decided to do a show called "They Dance Real Slow in Jackson." It's a play about a girl with CP. I was a girl with CP. So I start shouting from the rooftops, "I'm finally going to get a part! I have cerebral palsy! Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!" I didn't get the part.
z „The Glass Menagerie,“ moji profesori ronili slzy. Ale nikdy ma neobsadili. Napokon, počas môjho posledného roka, sa ASU rozhodla urobiť predstavenie s názvom „They Dance Real Slow in Jackson“. Je to hra o dievčati s DMO. Ja som bola dievča s DMO. Takže som začala vykrikovať, „Konečne dostanem rolu! Mám mozgovú obrnu! Konečne voľná! Konečne voľná! Vďaka ti Bože, konečne som voľná!“ Tú rolu som nedostala. (smiech)
(Laughter)
Dostala ju Sherry Brown.
Sherry Brown got the part. I went racing to the head of the theater department crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat, to ask her why, and she said it was because they didn't think I could do the stunts. I said, "Excuse me, if I can't do the stunts, neither can the character."
Vyrútila som sa k vedúcej katedry divadla s hysterickým plačom, akoby mi niekto zastrelil mačku, aby som sa jej spýtala, prečo, a ona mi povedala, že preto lebo si mysleli, že by som nezvládla kaskadérske kúsky. Povedala som, „Prepáčte, ale ak tie kaskadérske kúsky nezvládnem ja, tak ich nezvládne ani postava.“
(Laughter)
(smiech) (potlesk)
(Applause)
This was a part that I was literally born to play they gave it to a non-palsy actress. College was imitating life. Hollywood has a sordid history of casting able-bodied actors to play disabled onscreen.
Toto bola rola, pre ktorú som sa doslova narodila a oni ju dali herečke bez obrny. Vysoká škola imitovala život. Hollywood má škaredú históriu obsadzovania telesne schopných hercov do úloh invalidov.
Upon graduating, I moved back home, and my first acting gig was as an extra on a daytime soap opera. My dream was coming true. And I knew that I would be promoted from "Diner Diner" to "Wacky Best Friend" in no time.
Po promóciách som sa presťahovala späť domov a moja prvá herecká úloha bola ako komparz v telenovele. Môj sen sa plnil. A vedela som, že budem veľmi rýchlo povýšená z „nech sa páči, večera“ na „strelenú najlepšiu kamarátku“.
(Laughter)
Ale namiesto toho som zostala velebeným kusom nábytku,
But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture that you could only recognize from the back of my head, and it became clear to me that casting directors didn't hire fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors. They only hired perfect people. But there were exceptions to the rule. I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, and all of these women had one thing in common: they were comedians. So I became a comic.
ktorý ste mohli spoznať len podľa zadnej strany mojej hlavy, a začalo mi byť jasné, že vedúci kastingu neobsadzujú kypré, etnické, invalidné herečky. Obsadzujú len dokonalých ľudí. No našli sa aj výnimky. Vyrastala som pri sledovaní Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, a všetky tieto ženy mali jednu vec spoločnú: boli to komičky. Takže som sa stala komičkou.
(Laughter)
(smiech) (potlesk)
(Applause)
My first gig was driving famous comics from New York City to shows in New Jersey, and I'll never forget the face of the first comic I ever drove when he realized that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike with a chick with CP driving him.
Mojou prvou prácou bolo voziť slávnych komikov z New York City na vystúpenia v New Jersey. Nikdy nezabudnem na tvár prvého komika, ktorého som kedy viezla, keď si uvedomil že sa ženie dolu New Jersey Turnpike v aute,
(Laughter)
ktoré šoféruje ženská s DMO.
I've performed in clubs all over America, and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East, uncensored and uncovered.
Vystupovala som v kluboch po celej Amerike a vystupovala som taktiež na Blízkom východe, bez cenzúry a nezahalená.
(Laughter)
Niektorí ľudia hovoria, že som prvý
Some people say I'm the first stand-up comic in the Arab world. I never like to claim first, but I do know that they never heard that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny, and they find us hysterical.
stand-up komik v arabskom svete. Nikdy som si nenárokovala na prvého, no viem, že nikdy nepočuli tú škaredú klebetu, že ženy nie sú vtipné, a prídeme im šialene zábavné.
(Laughter)
In 2003, my brother from another mother and father Dean Obeidallah and I started the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival, now in its 10th year. Our goal was to change the negative image of Arab-Americans in media, while also reminding casting directors that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.
V roku 2003 sme, môj brat od inej mamy a otca, Dean Obeidallah, a ja odštartovali New Yorkský Arabsko-Americký Komediálny Festival, teraz má 10. výročie. Naším cieľom bolo zmeniť negatívny pohľad na Arabských Američanov v médiách, pričom tiež pripomínať vedúcim kastingu, že Juhoázijčan a Arab nie sú synonymá.
(Laughter)
(smiech)
Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier than conquering the challenge against the stigma against disability.
Dostať Arabov do hlavného prúdu bolo omnoho jednoduchšie, než zdolať výzvu akú predstavovala stigma voči postihnutým.
My big break came in 2010. I was invited to be a guest on the cable news show "Countdown with Keith Olbermann." I walked in looking like I was going to the prom, and they shuffle me into a studio and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair.
Veľký prelom pre mňa prišiel v roku 2010. Bola som pozvaná ako hosť na televíznu show „Countdown With Keith Olbermann.“ Napochodovala som tam ako na maturitný ples, a oni ma dotiahli do štúdia a posadili na kolieskovú, otáčaciu stoličku.
(Laughter)
Takže som sa pozrela na stage manažérku a hovorím,
So I looked at the stage manager and I'm like, "Excuse me, can I have another chair?" And she looked at me and she went, "Five, four, three, two ..." And we were live, right? So I had to grip onto the anchor's desk so that I wouldn't roll off the screen during the segment, and when the interview was over, I was livid. I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it, and I knew I would never get invited back. But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back, he made me a full-time contributor, and he taped down my chair.
„Prepáčte, mohla by som dostať inú stoličku?“ A ona sa na mňa pozrela a povedala, „Päť, štyri, tri, dva ...“ A vysielali sme naživo. Takže som sa musela zakvačiť o stôl, aby som počas prenosu neušla so stoličkou mimo záber. Po rozhovore som bola strašne rozčúlená. Konečne som dostala šancu a ja som ju premrhala a bola som presvedčená, že ma už nikdy nepozvú. Ale nielen že ma pán Olbermann pozval znova, urobil zo mňa trvalého prispievateľa a prilepil mi stoličku.
(Laughter)
(smiech) (potlesk)
(Applause)
Počas toho, ako som bola s Ketihom Olbermannom
One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann was that humans on the Internet are scumbags.
na obrazovke, som zistila, že ľudia na internete sú svine.
(Laughter) People say children are cruel, but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult. Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game. I would look at clips online and see comments like, "Yo, why's she tweakin'?" "Yo, is she retarded?" And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist. What does she suffer from? We should really pray for her." One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits: screenwriter, comedian, palsy.
Hovorí sa, že deti sú kruté, ale nikdy si zo mňa nerobili srandu, keď som bola dieťa, alebo dospelá. Zrazu sa moje postihnutie rieši na webe. Zvykla som si pozrieť videá a zbadala komentáre ako, „Hej, prečo so sebou hádže?“ „Hej, čo je retardovaná?“ A môj obľúbený, „Chudinka teroristka s plastelínovou hubou. Čím trpí? Mali by sme sa za ňu modliť.“ Jeden komentujúci dokonca navrhol, že by sa moje postihnutie malo pridať k záverečným titulkom: scenáristka, komička, obrna.
Disability is as visual as race. If a wheelchair user can't play Beyoncé, then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user. The disabled are the largest — Yeah, clap for that, man. Come on.
Postihnutie je tak očividné ako rasa. Ak vozičkárka nevie zahrať Beyoncé, potom Beyoncé nevie zahrať vozíčkárku. Invalidi sú najväčšou – Áno, zatlieskajte tomu, človeče.
(Applause)
(potlesk)
People with disabilities are the largest minority in the world, and we are the most underrepresented in entertainment.
Ľudia s postihnutím sú najväčšou menšinou na svete a máme najmenšie zastúpenie v zábavnom priemysle.
The doctors said that I wouldn't walk, but I am here in front of you. However, if I grew up with social media, I don't think I would be. I hope that together, we can create more positive images of disability in the media and in everyday life. Perhaps if there were more positive images, it would foster less hate on the Internet. Or maybe not. Maybe it still takes a village to teach our children well.
Doktori hovorili, že nebudem chodiť, no som tu pred vami. No ak by som vyrastala so sociálnymi médiami, nemyslím si, že by som bola. Dúfam, že spolu dokážeme vytvoriť pozitívnejší pohľad na postihnutých v médiách a každodennom živote. Možno ak by existovalo viac pozitívnych pohľadov, podporovalo by to menej nenávisti na internete. Alebo možno nie. Možno stále treba na výchovu
My crooked journey has taken me to some very spectacular places.
našich detí celú dedinu.
I got to walk the red carpet flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci and the iconic Loreen Arbus. I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler and work with my idol, the amazing Dave Matthews. I toured the world as a headliner on Arabs Gone Wild. I was a delegate representing the great state of New Jersey at the 2008 DNC. And I founded Maysoon's Kids, a charity that hopes to give Palestinian refugee children a sliver of the chance my parents gave me. But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got -- before this moment --
Moja kľukatá cesta ma doviedla na niekoľko fantastických miest. Kráčala som po červenom koberci po boku televíznej divy Susan Lucci a ikonickej Lorraine Arbus. Hrala som vo filme s Adamom Sandlerom a pracovala s mojím idolom, skvelým Daveom Matthewsom. Precestovala som svet ako headliner Arabs Gone Wild. Bola som delegátkou reprezentujúcou skvelý štát New Jersey na DNC v roku 2008. A založila som Maysoon's Kids, charitu ktorá sa snaží dať utečeneckým deťom z Palestíny kúsok šance, ktorú dali mne moji rodičia. Ale moment, ktorý vyniká najviac, bol ten keď – okrem tohto momentu –
(Laughter)
(smiech) (potlesk)
(Applause)
But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got to perform for the man who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, has Parkinson's and shakes just like me, Muhammad Ali.
moment, ktorý vyniká najviac, bol ten, keď som vystupovala pre muža, ktorý lieta ako motýľ a bodá ako včela, má Parkinsona a trasie sa tak ako ja, Muhammada Aliho.
(Applause)
(potlesk)
(Applause ends)
To bolo jediný krát,
It was the only time that my father ever saw me perform live, and I dedicate this talk to his memory.
kedy ma môj otec videl vystupovať naživo, a túto prednášku chcem venovať jeho pamiatke.
(Arabic) Allah yerhamak yaba.
(po arabsky)
(English) My name is Maysoon Zayid, and if I can can, you can can.
Volám sa Maysoon Zayid a ak ja dohopsám, vy dohopsáte tiež.
(Cheering)
(potlesk)
(Applause)