Hello, TEDWomen, what's up.
Bok, TEDWomen, kako ide?
(Cheering)
(Klicanje)
Not good enough. Hello, TEDWomen, what is up?
Možete vi i bolje! Bok, TEDWomen, kako ide?
(Loud cheering)
(Klicanje)
My name is Maysoon Zayid, and I am not drunk, but the doctor who delivered me was. He cut my mom six different times in six different directions, suffocating poor little me in the process. As a result, I have cerebral palsy, which means I shake all the time. Look. It's exhausting. I'm like Shakira, Shakira meets Muhammad Ali.
Zovem se Maysoon Zayid i nisam pijana, za razliku od liječnika koji me porodio. Porezao je moju majku šest puta, na šest različitih načina, i usput jadnoj meni presjekao dotok kisika. Zbog toga imam cerebralnu paralizu, što znači da se stalno tresem. Pogledajte! Baš zamorno! Kao miks Shakire, Shakire i Muhammada Alija.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
CP is not genetic. It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it. No one put a curse on my mother's uterus, and I didn't get it because my parents are first cousins, which they are.
Cerebralna paraliza nije genetski uvjetovana. Nije urođena mana i nije zarazna. Nitko nije bacio urok na utrobu moje majke i nisam je dobila zato što su mi roditelji u rodu, iako jesu.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
It only happens from accidents, like what happened to me on my birth day.
Ona je isključivo rezultat nezgode, poput one koja me zadesila kad sam se rodila.
Now, I must warn you, I'm not inspirational.
Moram vas upozoriti, nisam tu da vas nadahnem
(Laughter)
i ne želim da me itko u ovoj prostoriji
And I don't want anyone in this room to feel bad for me, because at some point in your life, you have dreamt of being disabled. Come on a journey with me. It's Christmas Eve, you're at the mall, you're driving around in circles looking for parking, and what do you see? Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.
sažalijeva jer ste u nekom trenutku svog života, sigurno sanjali o tome da budete invalid. Uzmimo za primjer ovu situaciju: Badnjak je, vi ste u šoping centru, kružite po parkiralištu u potrazi za mjestom, i što ugledate? Šesnaest praznih parkirnih mjesta za osobe s invaliditetom!
(Laughter)
I pomislite: "Bože, zašto nisam
And you're like, "God, can't I just be a little disabled?"
barem mrvicu hendikepiran?"
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Also, I've got to tell you, I've got 99 problems, and palsy is just one.
I moram vam reći, imam 99 problema, a paraliza je samo jedan od njih.
(Laughter)
Da postoji Olimpijada diskriminacije,
If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal. I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey.
ja bih osvojila zlatnu medalju. Palestinka sam, muslimanka, žena i osoba s invaliditetom, a uz to i živim u New Jerseyju.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) (Pljesak)
(Applause)
Sad bi vam se vlastiti život trebao činiti mrvicu boljim!
If you don't feel better about yourself, maybe you should.
(Laughter)
Dolazim iz mjesta Cliffside Park u New Jerseyju.
Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown. I have always loved the fact that my hood and my affliction share the same initials. I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk from my house to New York City, I could.
Uvijek mi je bilo super to što moj grad i moje stanje nose iste inicijale. Super mi je i to što bih, kad bih željela pješice krenuti iz svoje kuće u New York, to i mogla.
A lot of people with CP don't walk, but my parents didn't believe in "can't." My father's mantra was, "You can do it, yes you can can."
Mnogi ljudi s cerebralnom paralizom ne mogu hodati, no moji roditelji ne priznaju izraz "ne mogu" Mojem ocu mantra je bila: "Ti to možeš, ti to mo-žeš, ti-to-mo-žeš!"
(Laughter) So, if my three older sisters were mopping, I was mopping. If my three older sisters went to public school, my parents would sue the school system and guarantee that I went too, and if we didn't all get A's, we all got my mother's slipper.
(Smijeh) Kad god su moje tri starije sestre prale podove, i ja sam prala podove. Kad su moje tri starije sestre krenule u školu, moji su roditelji tužili ministarstvo kako bi zajamčili da idem i ja. A kad nismo sve imale petice, mama bi nas sve gađala papučom.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
My father taught me how to walk when I was five years old by placing my heels on his feet and just walking. Another tactic that he used is he would dangle a dollar bill in front of me and have me chase it.
Otac me naučio hodati kad sam imala pet godina, tako što je stavio moje pete na svoja stopala i krenuo hodati. Imao je još jedan trik: mahao bi novčanicom od jednog dolara, a ja bih je pokušavala uhvatiti.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
My inner stripper was very strong.
Imam dušu striptizete, pa sam...
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten, I was walking like a champ who had been punched one too many times.
Da! Već prvi dan vrtića, hodala sam kao prava prebijena boksačica.
(Laughter)
Kad sam bila mala, u mom gradu živjelo je šest Arapa
Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town, and they were all my family.
i sa svima sam bila u rodu.
(Laughter)
Sad ondje živi dvadeset Arapa
Now there are 20 Arabs in town, and they are still all my family.
i još uvijek sam sa svima u rodu. (Smijeh)
(Laughter)
Nitko valjda nije ni skužio da nismo Talijani!
I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) (Pljesak)
(Applause)
To je bilo prije 11. rujna, prije nego su političari
This was before 9/11 and before politicians thought it was appropriate to use "I hate Muslims" as a campaign slogan. The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith. They did, however, seem very concerned that I would starve to death during Ramadan. I would explain to them that I have enough fat to live off of for three whole months, so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.
počeli koristiti "Mrzim muslimane!" kao prihvatljiv politički slogan. Ljudi s kojima sam odrastala nisu imali ništa protiv moje vjere. Međutim, jako su se bojali da ću umrijeti od gladi za vrijeme Ramazana. Objašnjavala sam im da imam dovoljno sala da preživim tri mjeseca, i da je post od jutra do mraka totalna laganica.
(Laughter)
I have tap-danced on Broadway. Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy.
Plesala sam step na Broadwayju. Da, na Broadwayju! Totalna ludnica! (Pljesak)
(Applause)
Moji nisu imali novca da me pošalju na fizikalnu terapiju,
My parents couldn't afford physical therapy, so they sent me to dancing school. I learned how to dance in heels, which means I can walk in heels. And I'm from Jersey, and we are really concerned with being chic, so if my friends wore heels, so did I.
pa su me poslali u plesnu školu. Naučila sam plesati u petama, pa znam i hodati u petama. Ja sam iz New Jerseyja, a tamo smo vam svi veliki šminkeri, tako da sam nosila pete kad i moje frendice.
And when my friends went and spent their summer vacations on the Jersey Shore, I did not. I spent my summers in a war zone, because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna.
A kad su moje frendice odlazile na ljetovanje na obalu Jerseyja, ja nisam! Ja sam išla na ljetovanje u ratnu zonu jer su se moji bojali da ćemo se, ne budemo li se vraćali u Palestinu svako božje ljeto,
(Laughter)
kad odrastemo, pretvoriti u Madonnu.
Summer vacations often consisted of my father trying to heal me, so I drank deer's milk, I had hot cups on my back, I was dunked in the Dead Sea, and I remember the water burning my eyes and thinking, "It's working! It's working!"
(Smijeh) Ljetni praznici često su uključivali pokušaje mog oca da me iscijeli, pa sam tako pila srneće mlijeko, po meni su slagali vruće kamenje i umakali me u Mrtvo more. Sjećam se kako sam, dok me voda pekla za oči, mislila: "Upalilo je! Upalilo je!"
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
But one miracle cure we did find was yoga. I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. My parents reinforced this notion that I could do anything, that no dream was impossible, and my dream was to be on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital."
No, jedini čudesni lijek koji smo otkrili bila je joga. Priznajem da je joga strašno dosadna, no prije nego sam se počela njome baviti, doslovno nisam mogla stati pred publiku. A sada mogu stajati i na rukama! Roditelji su u meni poticali stav da mogu postići što god želim, da nijedan san nije nedostižan, a moj je san bio glumiti u sapunici "General Hospital".
(Laughter)
Krenula sam na faks kad su uveli kvote za manjine
I went to college during affirmative action and got a sweet scholarship to ASU, Arizona State University, because I fit every single quota.
i osvojila finu stipendiju za ASU, Državno sveučilište u Arizoni, jer nije bilo kvote u koju nisam upala.
(Laughter)
Bila sam ljubimac dramskog odsjeka.
I was like the pet lemur of the theater department. Everybody loved me. I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework, I got A's in all of my classes, A's in all of their classes.
Svi su me obožavali. Pisala sam zadaće onima koji nisu bili baš najbistriji, dobivala petice iz svih predmeta, a bome i petice iz svih njihovih predmeta.
(Laughter)
Kad god bih odglumila prizor
Every time I did a scene from "The Glass Menagerie," my professors would weep. But I never got cast. Finally, my senior year, ASU decided to do a show called "They Dance Real Slow in Jackson." It's a play about a girl with CP. I was a girl with CP. So I start shouting from the rooftops, "I'm finally going to get a part! I have cerebral palsy! Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!" I didn't get the part.
iz "Staklene menažerije" profesori su bili u suzama. Ali nikad nisam dobila nijednu ulogu! Napokon, godinu dana pred diplomu, fakultet je odlučio postaviti predstavu pod naslovom "They Dance Real Slow in Jackson" ("U Jacksonu plešu jako polako"). U predstavi se radi o curi s cerebralnom paralizom. Ja sam bila cura s cerebralnom paralizom! Bila sam presretna! Napokon ću dobiti ulogu! Imam cerebralnu paralizu! Napokon mi je osvanulo! Hvala dragom Bogu, napokon mi je osvanulo! Nisam dobila tu ulogu. (Smijeh)
(Laughter)
Dobila ju je Sherry Brown.
Sherry Brown got the part. I went racing to the head of the theater department crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat, to ask her why, and she said it was because they didn't think I could do the stunts. I said, "Excuse me, if I can't do the stunts, neither can the character."
Odjurila sam u ured predsjednice dramskog odsjeka, sva u suzama, kao da mi je netko ubio mačku i pitala je zašto. Odgovorila mi je da je to zato što su mislili da bi uloga bila previše fizički zahtjevna za mene. Rekla sam joj: "Molim vas lijepo, ako ja nešto od toga ne mogu izvesti, onda to ne može ni taj lik!"
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) (Pljesak)
(Applause)
This was a part that I was literally born to play they gave it to a non-palsy actress. College was imitating life. Hollywood has a sordid history of casting able-bodied actors to play disabled onscreen.
Bila sam doslovno rođena za tu ulogu, a oni su je dali glumici bez cerebralne paralize! Na fakultetu je bilo kao u životu. Hollywood je, nažalost, poznat po tome što daje glumcima bez invaliditeta uloge osoba s invaliditetom.
Upon graduating, I moved back home, and my first acting gig was as an extra on a daytime soap opera. My dream was coming true. And I knew that I would be promoted from "Diner Diner" to "Wacky Best Friend" in no time.
Nakon diplome, vratila sam se kući, a moj prvi glumački angažman bilo je statiranje u sapunici. Moj se san ostvarivao. Znala sam da ću začas napredovati od "gosta u restoranu" do "uvrnute najbolje prijateljice".
(Laughter)
No i dalje sam ostala komad živog namještaja
But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture that you could only recognize from the back of my head, and it became clear to me that casting directors didn't hire fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors. They only hired perfect people. But there were exceptions to the rule. I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, and all of these women had one thing in common: they were comedians. So I became a comic.
kojemu se na ekranu vidi samo tjeme. Postalo mi je jasno da producenti ne daju uloge otkačenim pripadnicima manjina s invaliditetom. Davali su ih samo savršenima. Ipak, postojale su i iznimke od tog pravila. Odrasla sam gledajući Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr i Ellen, a svima je njima bila zajednička jedna stvar: bile su komičarke. Tako sam i ja poslala komičarka!
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) (Pljesak)
(Applause)
My first gig was driving famous comics from New York City to shows in New Jersey, and I'll never forget the face of the first comic I ever drove when he realized that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike with a chick with CP driving him.
Prvo su me angažirali da prevozim slavne komičare iz New Yorka na nastupe u New Jerseyju i nikad neću zaboraviti izraz na licu prvog komičara kojeg sam vozila kad je shvatio da juri jerseyskom zaobilaznicom
(Laughter)
sa ženom s cerebralnom paralizom za volanom!
I've performed in clubs all over America, and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East, uncensored and uncovered.
Nastupala sam u klubovima diljem Amerike, a održavala sam i nastupe na arapskom, na Bliskom istoku, bez cenzure i bez vela!
(Laughter)
Kažu da sam prva
Some people say I'm the first stand-up comic in the Arab world. I never like to claim first, but I do know that they never heard that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny, and they find us hysterical.
stand-up komičarka koja je nastupala u arapskom svjetu. Ne volim tvrditi da sam u nečemu prva, ali znam da oni tamo nikad nisu čuli onu gadnu priču da žene nisu duhovite. Oni umiru od smijeha od nas.
(Laughter)
In 2003, my brother from another mother and father Dean Obeidallah and I started the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival, now in its 10th year. Our goal was to change the negative image of Arab-Americans in media, while also reminding casting directors that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.
Godine 2003., moj brat s kojim nisam u krvnoj vezi, Dean Obeidallah, i ja osnovali smo Arapsko-američki festival komedije u New Yorku, koji se održava već desetu godinu. Cilj nam je bio promijeniti negativnu sliku o Amerikancima arapskog podrijetla koja postoji u medijima i razviti svijest kod filmskih producenata da "južnoazijsko" nije isto što i "arapsko".
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier than conquering the challenge against the stigma against disability.
Promijeniti percepciju Arapa bilo je mnogo lakše nego pobijediti stigmu invaliditeta.
My big break came in 2010. I was invited to be a guest on the cable news show "Countdown with Keith Olbermann." I walked in looking like I was going to the prom, and they shuffle me into a studio and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair.
Moj se veliki proboj dogodio 2010. Pozvali su me da gostujem u informativnoj emisiji na kabelskoj televiziji "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" ("Odbrojavanje s Keithom Olbermannom)". Došla sam tamo odjevena kao za maturalnu, kad li me uvedu u studio i posjednu u stolicu koja je imala kotačiće i okretala se.
(Laughter)
I tako, pogledam inscipijenticu i kažem:
So I looked at the stage manager and I'm like, "Excuse me, can I have another chair?" And she looked at me and she went, "Five, four, three, two ..." And we were live, right? So I had to grip onto the anchor's desk so that I wouldn't roll off the screen during the segment, and when the interview was over, I was livid. I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it, and I knew I would never get invited back. But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back, he made me a full-time contributor, and he taped down my chair.
"Oprostite, mogu li dobiti drugu stolicu?" a ona mi uzvrati pogled i kaže: "Pet, četiri, tri, dva, ..." A išli smo uživo! Morala sam se uhvatiti za voditeljev stol da se ne bih otkotrljala iz kadra za vrijeme trajanja priloga. Kad je intervju završio, bila sam bijesna. Napokon sam dobila priliku, i uprskala je. Znala sam da me više neće zvati. Ali ne samo da me g. Olbermann ponovno pozvao, promaknuo me u redovitog korespondenta i pričvrstio moju stolicu za pod.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) (Pljesak)
(Applause)
One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann was that humans on the Internet are scumbags.
Jedna stvar koju sam naučila dok sam radila s Keithom Olbermannom
(Laughter) People say children are cruel, but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult. Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game. I would look at clips online and see comments like, "Yo, why's she tweakin'?" "Yo, is she retarded?" And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist. What does she suffer from? We should really pray for her." One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits: screenwriter, comedian, palsy.
jest da su ljudi na internetu odvratni. Ljudi kažu da su djeca okrutna, ali meni se nikad nisu rugali ni kao djetetu ni kao odrasloj osobi. No, na internetu je moj hendikep naglo postao predmetom poruge. Gledala bih snimke na internetu i vidjela komentare poput: "Šta se ova toliko drma?" "Jel ona retardirana?" I moj osobni favorit: "Jadna zbrčkana teroristica. Koji je njezin problem? Moramo se moliti za nju." Jedan je komentator čak predložio da dodam svoj hendikep svojem popisu postignuća: "scenaristica, komičarka, paralitičarka"
Disability is as visual as race. If a wheelchair user can't play Beyoncé, then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user. The disabled are the largest — Yeah, clap for that, man. Come on.
Tjelesni je hendikep je vidljiv koliko i rasa. Ako osoba u kolicima ne može glumiti Beyoncé, onda ni Beyoncé ne može glumiti osobu u kolicima. Osobe s invaliditetom najveća su... Tako je, da čujem jedan pljesak za to!
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
People with disabilities are the largest minority in the world, and we are the most underrepresented in entertainment.
Osobe s invaliditetom su najveća manjina na svijetu, a najmanje su zastupljeni u medijima.
The doctors said that I wouldn't walk, but I am here in front of you. However, if I grew up with social media, I don't think I would be. I hope that together, we can create more positive images of disability in the media and in everyday life. Perhaps if there were more positive images, it would foster less hate on the Internet. Or maybe not. Maybe it still takes a village to teach our children well.
Liječnici su rekli da nikad neću moći hodati, ali ja danas stojim pred vama. No, da sam odrasla uz društvene mreže, mislim da to ne bi bilo tako. Nadam se da zajedno možemo stvoriti pozitivnije prikaze invaliditeta u medijima i svakodnevnom životu. Da postoji više takvih pozitivnih prikaza, možda bi privlačio manje mržnje na internetu. A možda i ne bi! Možda je još uvijek cijelo društvo
My crooked journey has taken me to some very spectacular places.
odgovorno za dobar odgoj djece.
I got to walk the red carpet flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci and the iconic Loreen Arbus. I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler and work with my idol, the amazing Dave Matthews. I toured the world as a headliner on Arabs Gone Wild. I was a delegate representing the great state of New Jersey at the 2008 DNC. And I founded Maysoon's Kids, a charity that hopes to give Palestinian refugee children a sliver of the chance my parents gave me. But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got -- before this moment --
Moje me putovanje odvelo na neka fantastična mjesta. Prošla sam crvenim tepihom između zvijezde sapunica Susan Lucci i legendarne Lorraine Arbus. Glumila sam u filmu s Adamom Sandlerom i surađivala sa svojim idolom, genijalnim Daveom Matthewsom. Obišla sam svijet kao glavni izvođač trupe "Arabs Gone Wild" Bila sam delegat države New Jersey na nacionalnoj konvenciji Demokratske stranke 2008. Također sam osnovala "Maysoon's Kids" ("Maysoonini klinci"), humanitarnu organizaciju koja nastoji pružiti malenim palestinskim izbjeglicama bar djelić onakvih prilika kakve su moji roditelji pružili meni. No, trenutak koji se najviše ističe jest onaj kad sam - osim ovoga, naravno -
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) (Pljesak)
(Applause)
But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got to perform for the man who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, has Parkinson's and shakes just like me, Muhammad Ali.
Najdraži mi je trenutak bio kad sam dobila priliku da nastupim za čovjeka koji leti poput leptira, a ubada poput pčele, boluje od Parkinsonove bolest i trese se baš poput mene, Muhammada Alija.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
(Applause ends)
To je bio jedini put
It was the only time that my father ever saw me perform live, and I dedicate this talk to his memory.
kad je moj otac uživo gledao moj nastup i želim posvetiti ovaj govor uspomeni na njega.
(Arabic) Allah yerhamak yaba.
(Arapski) Tata, Bog te blagoslovio!
(English) My name is Maysoon Zayid, and if I can can, you can can.
Zovem se Maysoon Zayid i ako ja to mogu, i ti to možeš, ti-to-mo-žeš!
(Cheering)
(Pljesak)
(Applause)