Alright. I'm going to show you a couple of images from a very diverting paper in The Journal of Ultrasound in Medicine. I'm going to go way out on a limb and say that it is the most diverting paper ever published in The Journal of Ultrasound in Medicine. The title is "Observations of In-Utero Masturbation."
Nii. Ma näitan teile paari pilti ühest väga lõbusast artiklist, mis ilmus teadusajakirjas Ultrahelimeditsiini Ajakiri. Ma oletan isegi, et see on kõige lõbusam artikkel, mis Ultrahelimeditsiini Ajakirjas üleüldse kunagi ilmunud on. Selle pealkiri on "Emakasisese masturbeerimise vaatlused".
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Okay. Now on the left you can see the hand -- that's the big arrow -- and the penis on the right. The hand hovering. And over here we have, in the words of radiologist Israel Meisner, "The hand grasping the penis in a fashion resembling masturbation movements." Bear in mind this was an ultrasound, so it would have been moving images.
Nii. Vasakul on näha käsi, selle suure noole juures. Ja peenis on paremal. Käsi hõljub selle kohal. Ja sellel pildil on radioloog Israel Meisneri sõnul, "Käsi haaramas peenist liigutustega, mis sarnanevad masturbeerimisele." Pidage meeles, et see oli ultraheli. Seega oli tegu liikuva kujutisega.
Orgasm is a reflex of the autonomic nervous system. Now, this is the part of the nervous system that deals with the things that we don't consciously control, like digestion, heart rate and sexual arousal. And the orgasm reflex can be triggered by a surprisingly broad range of input. Genital stimulation. Duh. But also, Kinsey interviewed a woman who could be brought to orgasm by having someone stroke her eyebrow. People with spinal cord injuries, like paraplegias, quadriplegias, will often develop a very, very sensitive area right above the level of their injury, wherever that is. There is such a thing as a knee orgasm in the literature.
Orgasm on autonoomse närvisüsteemi refleks. See on närvisüsteemi see osa, mis tegeleb asjadega, mida me teadlikult ei kontrolli. Nagu seedimine, pulss, seksuaalne erutus. Ja orgasmirefleksi võib vallandada üllatavalt lai skaala erinevaid stiimuleid. Genitaalide stimuleerimine. No loomulikult. Aga Kinsey intervjueeris ka naist, kes võis jõuda orgasmini kui keegi ta kulmu silitas. Seljaajuvigastustega inimestel, nagu jalgadest või kätest ja jalgadest halvatutel, tekib sageli väga tundlik piirkond vigastuse kohast natuke kõrgemale. Kus iganes see ka ei ole.
I think the most curious one that I came across was a case report of a woman who had an orgasm every time she brushed her teeth.
Kirjanduses esineb selline asi nagu põlve orgasm. Ma arvan, et kõige pentsikum juhtum, mille ma leidsin, oli ühest naisest,
(Laughter)
kes sai orgasmi iga kord, kui ta hambaid pesi.
Something in the complex sensory-motor action of brushing her teeth was triggering orgasm. And she went to a neurologist, who was fascinated. He checked to see if it was something in the toothpaste, but no -- it happened with any brand. They stimulated her gums with a toothpick, to see if that was doing it. No. It was the whole, you know, motion. And the amazing thing to me is that you would think this woman would have excellent oral hygiene.
(Naer) Midagi nendes keerukates hambapesemisliigutustes ja selle tunnetamises vallandas orgasmi. Ja ta läks neuroloogi juurde, kes oli vapustatud. Ta kontrollis, ega see ei tulenenud mingist ainest hambapastas. Aga ei, see juhtus igat marki hambapastaga. Nad stimuleerisid ta igemeid hambaorgiga, et näha kas see mõjub samamoodi. Ei. See tuli tervest sellest liigutusest. Ja mind üllatab see, võiks ju arvata, et sel naisel oli
(Laughter)
suurepärane suuhügieen.
Sadly -- this is what it said in the journal paper -- "She believed that she was possessed by demons and switched to mouthwash for her oral care." It's so sad.
(Naer) Kahjuks ta -- nii oli artiklis kirjas -- "Ta uskus, et ta oli deemonite võimu all ja hakkas hammaste pesemise asemel hoopis suud loputama." See on nii kurb.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
When I was working on the book, I interviewed a woman who can think herself to orgasm. She was part of a study at Rutgers University. You've got to love that. Rutgers. So I interviewed her in Oakland, in a sushi restaurant. And I said, "So, could you do it right here?" And she said, "Yeah, but you know I'd rather finish my meal if you don't mind."
Ma intervjueerisin, kui ma raamatut kirjutasin, üht naist, kes võib ennast orgasmini mõelda. Ta osales ühes Rutgersi Ülikooli uuringus. See on eriti hea. Rutgers. Niisiis ma intervjueerisin teda Oaklandis, ühes sushi-restoranis. Ja ma ütlesin, "No kas sa saaksid seda siinsamas ka teha?" Ja tema vastas, "Jah, aga ma lõpetaks pigem enda eine, kui toihib."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
But afterwards, she was kind enough to demonstrate on a bench outside. It was remarkable. It took about one minute. And I said to her, "Are you just doing this all the time?"
Aga pärast oli ta nii lahke, et demonstreeriski, õues ühel pargipingil. See oli vapustav. Tal võttis see umbes ühe minuti aega. Ja ma ütlesin talle, "Kas sa ainult seda kogu aeg teedki?"
(Laughter)
(Naer)
She said, "No. Honestly, when I get home, I'm usually too tired."
Ta ütles, "Ei. Ausalt öeldes olen ma koju jõudes tavaliselt liiga väsinud."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
She said that the last time she had done it was on the Disneyland tram.
Ta ütles, et viimati oli ta seda teinud Disneylandi trammis.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
The headquarters for orgasm, along the spinal nerve, is something called the sacral nerve root, which is back here. And if you trigger, if you stimulate with an electrode, the precise spot, you will trigger an orgasm. And it is a fact that you can trigger spinal reflexes in dead people -- a certain kind of dead person, a beating-heart cadaver. Now this is somebody who is brain-dead, legally dead, definitely checked out, but is being kept alive on a respirator, so that their organs will be oxygenated for transplantation. Now in one of these brain-dead people, if you trigger the right spot, you will see something every now and then. There is a reflex called the Lazarus reflex. And this is -- I'll demonstrate as best I can, not being dead. It's like this. You trigger the spot. The dead guy, or gal, goes... like that. Very unsettling for people working in pathology labs.
Orgasmi peakontor, piki seljaaju, on üks asi nimega sakraalne närvikanal. Mis on siin taga. Ja kui sa vallandad, kui sa stimuleerid elektroodiga, täpselt seda punkti, siis vallandad sa orgasmi. Ja on fakt, et seljaaju reflekse saab tekitada ka surnud inimestes. On üks teatud sorti surnu, tuksuva südamega laip. See on keegi, kelle aju on surnud, ta on seaduse silmis surnud, kindlalt üle kontrollitud, aga teda hoitakse hingamisaparaadi abil elus, nii et tema organid saavad hapniku ja kõlbavad siirdamiseks. Nii et nende ajusurmas inimeste puhul, kui sa stimuleerid õiget kohta, siis võib vahetevahel midagi näha. On olemas refleks nimega Laatsaruse refleks. Ja see on -- ma demonstreerin nii hästi kui ma saan, kuigi ma pole surnud. See käib nii. Sa stimuleerid seda punkti. Surnud kutt, või plika, teeb... sedasi. Patoloogialaborites töötavate inimeste jaoks on see väga häiriv.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Now, if you can trigger the Lazarus reflex in a dead person, why not the orgasm reflex? I asked this question to a brain death expert, Stephanie Mann, who was foolish enough to return my emails.
Kui Laatsaruse refleksi on võimalik surnud inimeses tekitada, siis miks mitte orgasmirefleksi? Ma esitasin selle küsimuse ühele ajusurmade asjatundjale, Stephanie Mannile, kes oli piisavalt rumal, et mu e-mailidele vastata.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
I said, "So, could you conceivably trigger an orgasm in a dead person?" She said, "Yes, if the sacral nerve is being oxygenated, you conceivably could." Obviously it wouldn't be as much fun for the person. But it would be an orgasm --
Ütlesin ma, "Kas teoreetiliselt on võimalik surnud inimesel orgasmi vallandada?" Ta ütles, "Jah, kui sakraalnärv hapnikku saab. Teoreetiliselt on see võimalik." Loomulikult poleks see sellele inimesele sama lõbus. Aga see oleks orgasm --
(Laughter)
(Naer)
nonetheless.
siiski.
There is a researcher at the University of Alabama who does orgasm research. I said to her, "You should do an experiment. You know? You can get cadavers if you work at a university." I said, "You should actually do this." She said, "You get the human subjects review board approval for this one."
Tegelikult ma isegi soovitasin -- Alabama Ülikoolis on üks teadlane, kes uurib orgasme. Ma ütlesin talle, "Sa võiksid ühe eksperimendi teha. Eks? Kui sa ülikoolis töötad, siis sul on võimalik laipu saada." Ma ütlesin, "Sa peaksid tegelikult ka seda proovima." Ta vastas, "Sina hangi siis inimkatsealuste komisjonilt sellele jaoks heakskiit."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
According to 1930s marriage manual author, Theodoor van De Velde, a slight seminal odor can be detected on the breath of a woman within about an hour after sexual intercourse. Theodoor van De Velde was something of a semen connoisseur.
Ühe 1930ndate abielukäsiraamatu autori Theodore Van de Velde sõnul on naise hingeõhus tunda kerget seemnevedeliku lõhna umbes tunni aja jooksul pärast seksuaalvahekorda. Theodore Van de Velde oli omamoodi spermaekspert.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
This is a guy writing a book, "Ideal Marriage," you know. Very heavy hetero guy. But he wrote in this book, "Ideal Marriage" -- he said that he could differentiate between the semen of a young man, which he said had a fresh, exhilarating smell, and the semen of mature men, whose semen smelled, quote, "Remarkably like that of the flowers of the Spanish chestnut. Sometimes quite freshly floral, and then again sometimes extremely pungent."
See on mees, kes kirjutas raamatu "Ideaalne Abielu", kas teate. Väga tugev heteromees. Aga ta kirjutas selles raamatus, "Ideaalne Abielu", et ta suutvat eristada noore mehe spermat, millel on tema sõnul värske, meeltülendav lõhn, ja vana mehe spermat, kelle sperma lõhnab, tsiteerin, "märkimisväärselt nagu Hispaania kastani õied. Mõnikord värskelt lilleliselt, aga samas mõnikord jällegi äärmiselt pikantselt."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Okay. In 1999, in the state of Israel, a man began hiccupping. And this was one of those cases that went on and on. He tried everything his friends suggested. Nothing seemed to help. Days went by. At a certain point, the man, still hiccupping, had sex with his wife. And lo and behold, the hiccups went away. He told his doctor, who published a case report in a Canadian medical journal under the title, "Sexual Intercourse as a Potential Treatment for Intractable Hiccups." I love this article because at a certain point they suggested that unattached hiccuppers could try masturbation.
Hea küll. Aastal 1999, Iisraelis, hakkas üks mees luksuma. See oli üks neist juhutumitest, kus luksumine kestis ja kestis. Ta proovis kõike, mida ta sõbrad soovitasid. Miski ei paistnud aitavat. Päevad möödusid. Mingil hetkel see mees, ikka luksudes, seksis oma naisega. Ning vaata ja imesta, luksumine jäi järele. Ta rääkis sellest oma arstile, kes avaldas tema juhtumist raporti ühes Kanada arstiteadusajakirjas, pealkirjaga "Seksuaalvahekord potentsiaalse ravina kontrollimatu luksumise vastu". Mulle meeldib see artikkel, sest ühes kohas nad soovitasid,
(Laughter)
et paariliseta luksujad võiksid proovida masturbeerimist. (Naer)
I love that because there is like a whole demographic: unattached hiccuppers.
Mulle meeldib, et see oleks nagu omaette demograafiline kategooria. Paariliseta luksujad.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Married, single, unattached hiccupper. In the 1900s, early 1900s, a lot of gynecologists believed that when a woman has an orgasm, the contractions serve to suck the semen up through the cervix and sort of deliver it really quickly to the egg, thereby upping the odds of conception. It was called the "upsuck" theory.
Abielus. Vallaline. Paariliseta luksuja. 1900ndate aastate alguses uskusid günekoloogid, paljud günekoloogid, et kui naine saab orgasmi, siis kokkutõmbed on selleks, et imeda spermat ülespoole läbi emakakaela ja toimetada see kuidagi hästi ruttu munarakuni, tõstes seega viljastumise tõenäosust. Selle nimi oli "ülesimu" teooria.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
If you go all the way back to Hippocrates, physicians believed that orgasm in women was not just helpful for conception, but necessary. Doctors back then were routinely telling men the importance of pleasuring their wives. Marriage-manual author and semen-sniffer Theodoor van De Velde --
Kui minna ajas tagasi Hippokrateseni, siis arstid uskusid, et naiste orgasm ei olnud viljastumisel mitte ainult abiks, vaid lausa vajalik. Arstid rääkisid siis meestele pidevalt, kui tähtis on oma naist rahuldada. Abielukäsiraamatu autor ja spermanuusutaja
(Laughter)
Theodore Van de Velde -- (Naer)
has a line in his book. I loved this guy. I got a lot of mileage out of Theodoor van De Velde. He had this line in his book that supposedly comes from the Habsburg Monarchy, where there was an empress Maria Theresa, who was having trouble conceiving. And apparently the royal court physician said to her, "I am of the opinion that the vulva of your most sacred majesty be titillated for some time prior to intercourse."
raamatus on üks lause. Ma jumaldan seda tüüpi. Mul on Theodore Van de Veldest nii palju rääkida. Tal oli enda raamatus üks lause, mis väidetavalt pärineb Habsburgi monarhiast, kus oli keisrinna Maria Theresa, kellel oli raskusi viljastumisega. Ja nähtavasti kuninglik õuearst ütles talle, "Ma olen arvamusel, et teie püha kõrgeaususe häbet tuleks mõnda aega enne vahekorda kõditada."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
It's apparently, I don't know, on the record somewhere.
Nähtavasti on see, ma ei tea, kuskil ametlikult kirjas.
Masters and Johnson: now we're moving forward to the 1950s. Masters and Johnson were upsuck skeptics, which is also really fun to say. They didn't buy it. And they decided, being Masters and Johnson, that they would get to the bottom of it. They brought women into the lab -- I think it was five women -- and outfitted them with cervical caps containing artificial semen. And in the artificial semen was a radio-opaque substance, such that it would show up on an X-ray. This is the 1950s. Anyway, these women sat in front of an X-ray device. And they masturbated. And Masters and Johnson looked to see if the semen was being sucked up. Did not find any evidence of upsuck. You may be wondering, "How do you make artificial semen?"
Masters ja Johnson: nüüd liigume me edasi 1950ndatesse. Masters ja Johnstons olid ülesimu teooria skeptikud. Mida on väga lõbus öelda. Nad ei uskunud seda. Ja nad otsustasid, olles Masters ja Johnson, et nad selgitavad selle lõplikult välja. Nad tõid naised laborisse. Vist oli viis naist. Ja paigaldasid nende emakakaelale kausikesed kunstliku spermaga. Ja selles kunstlikus spermas oli raadiokiirgust peegeldev aine, nii et seda oli röntgeniga näha. Need olid 1950ndat aastad. Igatahes need naised istusid röntgeniaparaadi ees. Ning masturbeerisid. Ja Masters ja Johnson vaatasid, kas spermat imeti ülespoole. Nad ei leidnud ülesimu kohta mingeid tõendeid. Võibolla te jäite mõtlema, "Kuidas sa kunstliku spermat valmistad?"
(Laughter)
(Naer)
I have an answer for you. I have two answers. You can use flour and water, or cornstarch and water. I actually found three separate recipes in the literature.
Mul on teile vastus olemas. Kaks vastust. Võib kasutada jahu ja vett, või maisitärklist ja vett. Õigupoolest leidsin ma kirjandusest kolm erinevat retsepti.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
My favorite being the one that says -- you know, they have the ingredients listed, and then in a recipe it will say, for example, "Yield: two dozen cupcakes." This one said, "Yield: one ejaculate."
Minu lemmik on see, mis ütleb -- noh, neil on koostisainete nimekiri, ja siis retseptis on kirjas, näiteks "Lõppkogus: kaks tosinat muffinit". Selles retseptis oli kirjas: "Lõppkogus: üks purse".
(Laughter)
(Naer)
There's another way that orgasm might boost fertility. This one involves men. Sperm that sit around in the body for a week or more start to develop abnormalities that make them less effective at head-banging their way into the egg. British sexologist Roy Levin has speculated that this is perhaps why men evolved to be such enthusiastic and frequent masturbators. He said, "If I keep tossing myself off I get fresh sperm being made." Which I thought was an interesting idea, theory. So now you have an evolutionary excuse.
On veel üks viis, kuidas orgasm võib viljakust suurendada. Sellel on pistmist meestega. Spermatosoidides, mis on kehas nädal aega või kauem seisnud, hakkavad kujunema kahjustused, mis vähendavad nende võimet munarakku tungida. Briti seksoloog Roy Levin on spekuleerinud, et võibolla see ongi põhjus, miks mehed on arenenud nii entusiastlikeks ja sagedasteks masturbeerijateks. Ta ütles, "Kui ma endal pidevalt pihku löön, siis toodetakse mul värsket spermat." Mis minu arvates oli huvitav idee, teooria.
(Laughter)
Nii et nüüd on teil evolutsioonipõhine ettekääne.
Okay.
(Naer)
(Laughter)
Okei.
All righty. There is considerable evidence for upsuck in the animal kingdom -- pigs, for instance. In Denmark, the Danish National Committee for Pig Production found out that if you sexually stimulate a sow while you artificially inseminate her, you will see a six-percent increase in the farrowing rate, which is the number of piglets produced. So they came up with this five-point stimulation plan for the sows. There is posters they put in the barn, and they have a DVD. And I got a copy of this DVD.
(Naer) Hea küll. Loomariigis on ülesimu kohta arvestatavalt palju tõendeid. Näiteks sead. Taani Rahvuslik Sigade Tootmise Komitee, avastas, et kui sa emist kunstliku viljastamise ajal seksuaalselt stimuleerid, siis on tulemuseks kuus protsenti kõrgem poegimise hulk, mis on toodetud põrsaste arv. Nii et nad mõtlesid välja selle plaani. Viie punkti stimuleerimisplaani emistele. Ja nad panid talumehed -- lauta pandi postrid ja neil on DVD.
(Laughter)
Ja ma sain sellest DVD-st ühe koopia. (Naer)
This is my unveiling, because I am going to show you a clip.
Eemaldame katte. Sest ma näitan teile üht videoklippi.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
So, okay. Now, here we go, la la la, off to work. It all looks very innocent. He's going to be doing things with his hands that the boar would use his snout, lacking hands. Okay.
Nii et, eh, hea küll. Nii et nüüd me läheme -- la la la, tööle. Kõik näib väga süütu. Ta teeb kõike seda oma kätega, mida kult kärsaga teeks, kuna tal käsi pole. Okei.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
This is it. The boar has a very odd courtship repertoire.
Nii see käibki. Kuldil on väga veider paaritumisrituaal.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
This is to mimic the weight of the boar.
See on selleks, et imiteerida kuldi keharaskust.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
You should know, the clitoris of the pig is inside the vagina. So this may be sort of titillating for her. Here we go.
Et te teaksite, sea kliitor on tupes sees. Nii et see võib talle olla kuidagi erutav. No näe. (Naer)
(Laughter)
And the happy result.
Ja õnnelik tulemus.
(Applause)
(Aplaus)
I love this video. There is a point in this video, towards the beginning, where they zoom in for a close up of his hand with his wedding ring, as if to say, "It's okay, it's just his job. He really does like women."
Ma armastan seda videot. Selles videos on üks koht, alguse poole, kus nad näitavad lähedalt selle mehe kätt, millel on abielusõrmus, juskui kinnitades: "Kõik on hästi, see on ainult tema töö. Talle tõesti meeldivad naised." (Naer)
(Laughter)
Okay. When I was in Denmark, my host was named Anne Marie. And I said, "So why don't you just stimulate the clitoris of the pig? Why don't you have the farmers do that? That's not one of your five steps." I have to read you what she said, because I love it. She said, "It was a big hurdle just to get farmers to touch underneath the vulva. So we thought, let's not mention the clitoris right now."
Okei. Ma ütlesin -- kui ma olin Taanis, siis mu võõrustaja nimi oli Anne Marie. Ja ma ütlesin, "Miks te lihtsalt sea kliitorit ei stimuleeri? Miks te talumehi seda tegema ei pane? See pole üks teie viiest punktist." Ja ta ütles -- ma pean teile ette lugema, mida ta ütles, sest ma armastan seda. Ta ütles, "Oli tükk tegemist, et talumehed vulva piirkondagi puudutama saada. Nii et me mõtlesime, ärme kliitorit praegu maini."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Shy but ambitious pig farmers, however, can purchase a -- this is true -- a sow vibrator, that hangs on the sperm feeder tube to vibrate. Because, as I mentioned, the clitoris is inside the vagina. So possibly, you know, a little more arousing than it looks. And I also said to her, "Now, these sows. I mean, you may have noticed there. The sow doesn't look to be in the throes of ecstasy." And she said, you can't make that conclusion, because animals don't register pain or pleasure on their faces in the same way that we do. Pigs, for example, are more like dogs. They use the upper half of the face; the ears are very expressive. So you're not really sure what's going on with the pig.
Häbelikud aga ambitsioonikad seafarmerid võivad aga osta -- see on tõsi -- emisevibraatori, mis ripub spermasüstla küljes ja vibreerib. Sest, nagu ma mainisin, kliitor on tupe sees. Nii et võibolla on see erutavam kui paistab. Ja samuti ütlesin ma talle, "Need emised. Ma mõtlen, te vist panete tähele, emis ei paista just ekstaasist vappuvat." Ja tema ütles, "Seda järeldust ei saa teha." Sest loomadel ei väljendu valu ning nauding nende nägudel samamoodi nagu meil. Nad kalduvad -- sead, näiteks, on rohkem nagu koerad. Nad kasutavad oma näo ülemist poolt. Nende kõrvad on väga väljendusrikkad. Nii et raske on öelda, mida sea peas toimub.
Primates, on the other hand, we use our mouths more. This is the ejaculation face of the stump-tailed macaque.
Teisest küljest meie, primaadid, kasutame rohkem oma suud. See on köntsabalise makaagi seemnepurske-nägu.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
And, interestingly, this has been observed in female macaques, but only when mounting another female.
Ja huvitaval kombel, seda on täheldatud ka emastel makaakidel. Aga ainult siis, kui nad teisele emasele selga ronivad.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Masters and Johnson. In the 1950s, they decided, okay, we're going to figure out the entire human sexual response cycle, from arousal, all the way through orgasm, in men and women -- everything that happens in the human body. Okay, with women, a lot of this is happening inside. This did not stop Masters and Johnson. They developed an artificial coition machine. This is basically a penis camera on a motor. There is a phallus, clear acrylic phallus, with a camera and a light source, attached to a motor that is kind of going like this. And the woman would have sex with it. That is what they would do. Pretty amazing. Sadly, this device has been dismantled. This just kills me, not because I wanted to use it -- I wanted to see it.
Masters ja Johnson, 1950ndatel aastatel, otsustasid, okei, me selgitame välja kogu inimese seksuaalreaktsiooni ahela. Erutusest kuni orgasmini välja, meestes ja naistes. Kõik, mis inimkehas toimub. Hea küll, naiste puhul toimub suur osa sellest seespool. See Mastersit ja Johnsonit ei peatanud. Nad töötasid välja kunstliku koitusemasina. Laias laastus on see kaameraga peenis mootori küljes. On fallos, läbipaistev akrüülist fallos, kaamera ja valgusalikkaga, kinnitatud mootori külge, mis liigub umbes nii. Ja naine seksib sellega. Seda nad tegidki. Üsna hämmastav. Kahjuks on see seadeldis tükkideks võetud. See ajab mind närvi. Mitte sellepärast, et ma tahaksin seda kasutada. Ma tahtsin seda ainult näha.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
One fine day, Alfred Kinsey decided to calculate the average distance traveled by ejaculated semen. This was not idle curiosity. Doctor Kinsey had heard -- and there was a theory going around at the time, this being the 1940s -- that the force with which semen is thrown against the cervix was a factor in fertility. Kinsey thought it was bunk, so he got to work. He got together in his lab 300 men, a measuring tape, and a movie camera.
Ühel heal päeval otsustas Alfred Kinsey arvutada välja keskmine distantsi, mille läbib välja pursatud sperma. See polnud mitte paljas uudishimu. Doctor Kinsey oli kuulnud -- ja sellel ajal, ehk 1940ndatel, liikus ringi teooria, et jõud, millega sperma vastu emakakaela tõugatakse, mängib viljakuses rolli. Kinsey arvas, et see oli müüt. Nii et ta asus tööle. Ta ajas oma laborisse kokku
(Laughter)
300 meest, mõõdulindi, ja filmikaamera.
And in fact, he found that in three quarters of the men the stuff just kind of slopped out. It wasn't spurted or thrown or ejected under great force. However, the record holder landed just shy of the eight-foot mark, which is impressive.
(Naer) Ja õigupoolest ta avastas, et kolmel neljandikul meestest see värk lihtsalt kuidagi lödises välja. Seda ei pursatud ega visatud ega paisatud suure jõuga. Aga rekordiomanik maandus 240 cm märgi lähistel. Mis on muljetavaldav.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
(Applause)
(Aplaus)
Yes. Exactly.
Just. Täpselt.
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Sadly, he's anonymous. His name is not mentioned.
Kahjuks on ta anonüümne. Tema nime ei mainita.
(Laughter)
Oma kirjutises,
In his write-up of this experiment in his book, Kinsey wrote, "Two sheets were laid down to protect the oriental carpets."
selle eksperimendi kokkuvõttes oma raamatus, kirjutas Kinsey, "Kaks lina asetati maha, et kaitsta idamaiseid vaipu."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Which is my second favorite line in the entire oeuvre of Alfred Kinsey. My favorite being, "Cheese crumbs spread before a pair of copulating rats will distract the female, but not the male."
Mis on minu teine lemmikrida terves Alfred Kinsey meistriteoses. Mu kõige suurem lemmik on, "Paarituva rotipaari ette puistatud juustupuru juhib kõrvale emaroti, kuid mitte isaroti tähelepanu."
(Laughter)
(Naer)
Thank you very much.
Tänan väga.
(Applause)
(Aplaus)
Thanks!
Aitäh!