George and Charlotte Blonsky, who were a married couple living in the Bronx in New York City, invented something. They got a patent in 1965 for what they call, "a device to assist women in giving birth." This device consists of a large, round table and some machinery. When the woman is ready to deliver her child, she lies on her back, she is strapped down to the table, and the table is rotated at high speed. The child comes flying out through centrifugal force. If you look at their patent carefully, especially if you have any engineering background or talent, you may decide that you see one or two points where the design is not perfectly adequate. (Laughter)
George e Charlotte Blonsky, que eran un matrimonio residente no Bronx en Nova York, inventaron algo. Conseguiron unha patente en 1965 para o que eles denominaron "un aparello para asistir a mulleres no parto." Este aparello consiste nunha gran mesa redonda e algún dispositivos mecánicos. Cando a muller está lista para dar a luz, deitase, é amarrada á mesa, que se pon a xirar a gran velocidade. O neno sae voando (Risos) grazas á forza centrífuga. (Risos) Se mirades detidamente a súa patente, especialmente se tedes formación ou coñecementos en enxeñaría, podedes concluír que vedes un ou dous puntos onde o deseño non é apropiado de todo. (Risos)
Doctor Ivan Schwab in California is one of the people, one of the main people, who helped answer the question, "Why don't woodpeckers get headaches?" And it turns out the answer to that is because their brains are packaged inside their skulls in a way different from the way our brains, we being human beings, true, have our brains packaged. They, the woodpeckers, typically will peck, they will bang their head on a piece of wood thousands of times every day. Every day! And as far as anyone knows, that doesn't bother them in the slightest.
O Dr. Ivan Schwach en California é unha das persoas que foron esenciais para axudar a responder a pregunta "Por que aos picapaus non lles doe a cabeza?" E resulta que a resposta é que os seus cerebros están colocados nos seus cranios dun modo diferente a como os seres humanos temos empaquetados os nosos cerebros. Os picapaus, normalmente, petan, e baten coa cabeza contra un toro de madeira milleiros de veces ao día. Cada día! E polo que se sabe, iso non os molesta nin un chisco.
How does this happen? Their brain does not slosh around like ours does. Their brain is packed in very tightly, at least for blows coming right from the front. Not too many people paid attention to this research until the last few years when, in this country especially, people are becoming curious about what happens to the brains of football players who bang their heads repeatedly. And the woodpecker maybe relates to that.
Como ocorre isto? O seu cerebro non anda abaneando coma o noso. O seu cerebro está empaquetado de forma moi axustada, polo menos para os golpes que veñen de fronte. Non moita xente se fixou nesta investigación ata estes últimos anos cando, neste país sobre todo, está espertando a curiosidade co que ocorre cos cerebros dos xogadores de fútbol americano que petan seguido coas súas cabezas. E o picapau quizais estea relacionado con isto.
There was a paper published in the medical journal The Lancet in England a few years ago called " A man who pricked his finger and smelled putrid for 5 years." Dr. Caroline Mills and her team received this patient and didn't really know what to do about it. The man had cut his finger, he worked processing chickens, and then he started to smell really, really bad. So bad that when he got in a room with the doctors and the nurses, they couldn't stand being in the room with him. It was intolerable. They tried every drug, every other treatment they could think of. After a year, he still smelled putrid. After two years, still smelled putrid. Three years, four years, still smelled putrid. After five years, it went away on its own. It's a mystery.
Hai un artigo publicado na revista médica "The Lancet" en Inglaterra hai uns anos titulado "Un home que picou o dedo e cheiroulle podre durante 5 anos." A Dra. Caroline Mills e o seu equipo atenderon este paciente e non souberon que facerlle. O home cortara o dedo, traballaba procesando polos, e entón comezou a cheirar moi moi mal. Tan mal que cando entrou na sala cos médicos e enfermeiras, non podían aturar estar na sala con el. Era insoportable. Probaron todas as medicinas, todos os tratamentos que se lles ocorreron. Despois dun ano, aínda cheiraba a podre. Despois de dous anos, aínda cheiraba a podre. Tres anos, catro anos, aínda cheiraba a podre. Despois de cinco anos, o cheiro marchou el só. É un misterio.
In New Zealand, Dr. Lianne Parkin and her team tested an old tradition in her city. They live in a city that has huge hills, San Francisco-grade hills. And in the winter there, it gets very cold and very icy. There are lots of injuries. The tradition that they tested, they tested by asking people who were on their way to work in the morning, to stop and try something out. Try one of two conditions. The tradition is that in the winter, in that city, you wear your socks on the outside of your boots. And what they discovered by experiment, and it was quite graphic when they saw it, was that it's true. That if you wear your socks on the outside rather than the inside, you're much more likely to survive and not slip and fall.
En Nova Zelandia, a Dra. Lianne Parkin e o seu equipo analizaron unha vella tradición da súa cidade. Viven nunha cidade que ten outeiros enormes, grandes coma os de San Francisco. E alí no inverno vai moito frío, e hai moitas xeadas. Hai moitas lesións. A tradición que analizaron, analizárona pedíndolle á xente que ía para o traballo pola mañá, que pararan e probaran algo. Probar unha de dúas condicións. A tradición é que no inverno, nesa cidade, levas os calcetíns por fóra das botas. E o que descubriron co experimento, e foi bastante gráfico cando o viron, é que era certo. Que se levas os calcetíns por fóra no canto de por dentro, é máis probable que sobrevivas e non esvares nin caias.
Now, I hope you will agree with me that these things I've just described to you, each of them, deserves some kind of prize. (Laughter) And that's what they got, each of them got an Ig Nobel prize. In 1991, I, together with bunch of other people, started the Ig Nobel prize ceremony. Every year we give out 10 prizes. The prizes are based on just one criteria. It's very simple. It's that you've done something that makes people laugh and then think. What you've done makes people laugh and then think. Whatever it is, there's something about it that when people encounter it at first, their only possible reaction is to laugh. And then a week later, it's still rattling around in their heads and all they want to do is tell their friends about it. That's the quality we look for.
Espero que esteades de acordo comigo que estas cousas que vos acabo de describir, calquera delas, merecen algún tipo de premio. (Risos) E conseguírono, cada un deles ten un Premio Ig Nobel. En 1991, eu, con outra morea de xente, comezamos a cerimonia dos Premios Ig Nobel. Cada ano damos 10 premios. Os premios están baseados nun só criterio. É moi sinxelo. É que fixeras algo que primeiro lle faga rir á xente, e despois pensar. Que o que fixeras lle faga rir á xente e despois pensar. Sexa o que sexa, ten un aquel que cando a xente se atopa con iso a súa única reacción posible é a risa. E unha semana máis tarde, aínda lle repica na cabeza e morre por ir contárllelo aos amigos.
Every year, we get in the neighborhood of 9,000 new nominations for the Ig Nobel prize. Of those, consistently between 10 percent and 20 percent of those nominations are people who nominate themselves. Those self-nominees almost never win. It's very difficult, numerically, to win a prize if you want to. Even if you don't want to, it's very difficult numerically. You should know that when we choose somebody to win an Ig Nobel prize, We get in touch with that person, very quietly. We offer them the chance to decline this great honor if they want to. Happily for us, almost everyone who's offered a prize decides to accept.
Velaí a calidade que buscamos. Cada ano, andamos ao redor de 9000 novas candidaturas aos Premios Ig Nobel. Delas, entre o 10 por cento e o 20 por cento son persoas que se candidatan a si mesmas. (Risos) Estes case nunca gañan. É moi difícil, estatisticamente, gañar un premio se o queres. E incluso se non o queres, é moi difícil estatisticamente. Debedes saber que cando escollemos unha persoa para gañar un Ig Nobel, contactamos con ela discretamente, ofrecémoslle a opción de rexeitar este grande honor, se quere. Por sorte para nós, case todos aos que lles ofrecemos o Premio deciden aceptalo.
What do you get if you win an Ig Nobel prize? Well, you get several things. You get an Ig Nobel prize. The design is different every year. These are always handmade from extremely cheap materials. You're looking at a picture of the prize we gave last year, 2013. Most prizes in the world also give their winners some cash, some money. We don't have any money, so we can't give them. In fact, the winners have to pay their own way to come to the Ig Nobel ceremony, which most of them do. Last year, though, we did manage to scrape up some money. Last year, each of the 10 Ig Nobel prize winners received from us 10 trillion dollars. A $10 trillion bill from Zimbabwe. (Laughter) You may remember that Zimbabwe had a little adventure for a few years there of inflation. They ended up printing bills that were in denominations as large as 100 trillion dollars. The man responsible, who runs the national bank there, by the way, won an Ig Nobel prize in mathematics.
Que consegues se gañas un Premio Ig Nobel? Pois varias cousas. Consegues un Premio Ig Nobel. O deseño é diferente cada ano. (Risos) Están sempre feitos á man con materiais sumamente baratos. Estades vendo unha imaxe do premio que entregamos o ano pasado, 2013. A maioría dos premios do mundo tamén dan aos gañadores algún diñeiro en efectivo. Nós non temos cartos, así que non podemos dalos. De feito, os gañadores deben pagar do seu peto a viaxe á cerimonia dos Ig Nobel, e a maioría fano. O ano pasado, no entanto, si demos xuntado uns poucos cartos. Cada un dos 10 gañadores dos Ig Nobel recibiron de nós 10 trillóns de dólares. Un billete de 10 trillóns de dólares de Zimbabwe. (Risos) Pode que recordedes que Zimbabwe tivo unha pequena aventura de inflación durante uns cantos anos. Acabaron imprimindo billetes con valores nominais tan grandes como 100 trillóns de dólares. A persoa responsable, que dirixe o seu banco nacional, gañou o Premio Ig Nobel de matemáticas.
The other thing you win is an invitation to come to the ceremony, which happens at Harvard University. And when you get there, you come to Harvard's biggest meeting place and classroom. It fits 1,100 people, it's jammed to the gills, and up on the stage, waiting to shake your hand, waiting to hand you your Ig Nobel prize, are a bunch of Nobel prize winners. That's the heart of the ceremony. The winners are kept secret until that moment, even the Nobel laureates who will shake their hand don't know who they are until they're announced.
(Risos) A outra cousa que gañas é unha invitación para vir á cerimonia que ten lugar na Universidade de Harvard E cando estás alí, chegas á maior aula e lugar de reunión de Harvard. Caben 1100 persoas, está cheo a rebentar, e no escenario agardando para darche a man, agardando para entregarche o teu Ig Nobel, hai unha morea de gañadores do Premio Nobel. Iso é a cerna da cerimonia. Os gañadores non se coñecen ata ese momento, incluso os galardoados co Nobel que lles darán a man non saben quen son ata que os anuncian.
I am going to tell you about just a very few of the other medical-related prizes we've given. Keep in mind, we've given 230 prizes. There are lots of these people who walk among you. Maybe you have one. A paper was published about 30 years ago called "Injuries due to Falling Coconuts." It was written by Dr. Peter Barss, who is Canadian. Dr. Barss came to the ceremony and explained that as a young doctor, he wanted to see the world. So he went to Papua New Guinea. When he got there, he went to work in a hospital, and he was curious what kinds of things happen to people that bring them to the hospital. He looked through the records, and he discovered that a surprisingly large number of people in that hospital were there because of injuries due to falling coconuts. One typical thing that happens is people will come from the highlands, where there are not many coconut trees, down to visit their relatives on the coast, where there are lots. And they'll think that a coconut tree is a fine place to stand and maybe lie down. A coconut tree that is 90 feet tall, and has coconuts that weigh two pounds that can drop off at any time.
Vou contarvos algúns outros dos premios relacionados coa medicina que xa demos. Tede en conta que levamos dado 230 premios. Hai moita desta xente que anda entre vós. Quizais ti teñas un. Hai uns 30 anos publicouse un artigo titulado "Lesións causadas por caída de cocos." Escribiuno o Dr. Peter Barss, que é canadense. O Dr. Barss veu á cerimonia e explicou que como médico novo, quería ver mundo. Foi a Papúa-Nova Guinea. Unha vez alí, traballou nun hospital, e tiña curiosidade pola clase de cousas que lle pasaba á xente para acabar no hospital. Revisou os rexistros e descubriu que un número sorprendentemente amplo de persoas estaban no hospital por lesións causadas pola caída de cocos. Algo normal que ocorre é que a xente viña das montañas, onde non hai moitos coqueiros, a visitar aos parentes da costa, onde hai moitos. E pensan que un coqueiro é un bo lugar para estar ou se cadra deitarse. Un coqueiro duns 27 metros de alto, que ten cocos que pesan case un kilo e poden caer en calquera momento.
A team of doctors in Europe published a series of papers about colonoscopies. You're all familiar with colonoscopies, one way or another. Or in some cases, one way and another. They, in these papers, explained to their fellow doctors who perform colonoscopies, how to minimize the chance that when you perform a colonoscopy, your patient will explode. (Laughter) Dr. Emmanuel Ben-Soussan one of the authors, flew in from Paris to the ceremony, where he explained the history of this, that in the 1950s, when colonoscopies were becoming a common technique for the first time, people were figuring out how to do it well. And there were some difficulties at first. The basic problem, I'm sure you're familiar with, that you're looking inside a long, narrow, dark place. And so, you want to have a larger space. You add some gas to inflate it so you have room to look around. Now, that's added to the gas, the methane gas, that's already inside. The gas that they used at first, in many cases, was oxygen. So they added oxygen to methane gas. And then they wanted to be able to see, they needed light, so they'd put in a light source, which in the 1950s was very hot. So you had methane gas, which is flammable, oxygen and heat. They stopped using oxygen pretty quickly. (Laughter) Now it's rare that patients will explode, but it does still happen.
Un grupo de médicos en Europa publicou unha serie de artigos sobre colonoscopias. Todos estades familiarizados con elas, dun xeito ou outro. Ou nalgúns casos, dun xeito e doutro. (Risos) Nestes artigos, explicábanlles aos seus colegas que practicaban colonoscopias, como minimizar a posibilidade de que cando practicas a colonoscopia, o teu paciente estoupe. (Risos) O Dr. Emmanuel Ben-Soussan, un dos autores, voou dende París para a cerimonia, na que explicou a historia disto: nos anos 50, cando as colonoscopias comezaban a ser unha técnica común, estábase descubrindo como facelas ben. E ao primeiro había algunhas dificultades. O problema básico, seguro que vos soa, é que estás mirando dentro dun lugar longo, estreito e escuro. Polo tanto, queres ter un espazo máis grande. Engades un pouco gas para inchalo e así tes máis sitio para mirar. Pero ese gas engádese ao metano, que xa está dentro. O gas que usaban ao primeiro, en moitos casos, era osíxeno. Así que lle engadían osíxeno ao metano. E entón, se querían poder ver, precisaban luz, así que poñían unha fonte de luz, que nos anos 50 era moi quente. Polo que tiñan metano, que é inflamable, osíxeno e calor. Pararon de usar osíxeno bastante axiña. (Risos) Agora é estraño que os pacientes estoupen, pero aínda segue ocorrendo.
The final thing that I want to tell you about is a prize we gave to Dr. Elena Bodnar. Dr. Elena Bodnar invented a brassiere that in an emergency can be quickly separated into a pair of protective face masks. One to save your life, one to save the life of some lucky bystander. (Laughter) Why would someone do this, you might wonder. Dr. Bodnar came to the ceremony and she explained that she grew up in Ukraine. She was one of the doctors who treated victims of the Chernobyl power plant meltdown. And they later discovered that a lot of the worst medical problems came from the particles people breathed in. So she was always thinking after that about could there be some simple mask that was available everywhere when the unexpected happens. Years later, she moved to America. She had a baby, One day she looked, and on the floor, her infant son had picked up her bra, and had her bra on his face. And that's where the idea came from. She came to the Ig Nobel ceremony with the first prototype of the bra and she demonstrated: (Laughter) (Applause) ["Paul Krugman, Nobel laureate (2008) in economics"] ["Wolfgang Ketterle, Nobel laureate (2001) in physics"]
O último que vos quero contar é o premio que lle demos á Dra. Elena Bodnar. Ela inventou un suxeitador que nunha emerxencia se pode separar rapidamente nun par de máscaras de protección Unha para salvarche a vida, outra para salvarlla a algún sortudo que pase por alí. (Risos) Estarédesvos preguntando por que faría alguén algo así. A Dra. Bodnar veu á cerimonia e explicou que ela criouse en Ucraína. Foi un dos médicos que tratou a vítimas do accidente nuclear de Chernóbil. E máis tarde descubriron que moitos dos peores problemas médicos viñan de partículas que a xente respirou. Así que sempre quedou pensando se podería haber algunha máscara sinxela que estivese dispoñíble en todas partes cando ocorrera algo inesperado. Anos despois, mudouse a América. Tivo un meniño. Un día mirou no chan que o seu cativo collera o seu suxeitador e o puxera na cara. E de aí saíu a idea. Veu á cerimonia dos Ig Nobel co primeiro prototipo do suxeitador e fixo a demostración. (Risos) (Aplausos) [Paul Krugman, Premio Nobel de Economía do ano 2008] [Wolfgang Ketterle, Premio Nobel de Física do ano 2001]
I myself own an emergency bra. (Laughter) It's my favorite bra, but I would be happy to share it with any of you, should the need arise. Thank you. (Applause)
Eu mesmo teño un suxeitador de emerxencias. (Risos) É o meu suxeitador favorito, pero encantaríame compartilo con calquera de vós se fora necesario. Grazas.